# 286 How to Raise Securely Attached Teens Part 2

Power Your Parenting: Moms With Teens

Are you finding it hard to connect with your teen and wonder how your own upbringing impacts your parenting? Do you know the difference between supporting your teen and rescuing them, and why it matters?

In this episode, Colleen O'Grady continues her conversation with Eli Harwood, diving into attachment styles and how they shape our relationships with teens. Eli explains the four main attachment styles—secure, anxious-ambivalent, avoidant, and disorganized—and how these patterns manifest in both children and parents. She emphasizes the importance of self-awareness in parenting, noting how unresolved childhood issues can shape our responses to conflict with our teens. Eli encourages moms to be present and supportive, not overly controlling or dismissive, which helps create secure attachments. The episode also tackles how to differentiate between rescuing and supporting your teen through life's challenges, and the critical role of emotional regulation in parenting. Finally, Eli shares practical advice on how moms can take care of themselves and model healthy emotional behavior for their teens.

ELI HARWOOD is a licensed therapist who lives in Colorado with her husband, Trevor, and their three children. Eli has been nerding out on attachment research for the past two decades and is on a mission to help make the world a better place, one relationship at a time. She continues this mission in her clinical work, her writing, and running her mouth about attachment on social media. When she isn't working to make the world a more secure place, she is playing dress-up with her kids, obsessing about her sourdough starter, and reminiscing about that one time she won a set of globes as a Price is Right contestant.

Takeaways:

1. Healing is crucial—When moms resolve their own emotional baggage, they model healthy attachment behaviors, which helps their teens feel more secure and confident.
2. Secure conflict—Conflict with teens is natural, but how you approach it matters. Avoid leading with anxiety or perfectionism; instead, use conflict as an opportunity for growth and understanding.

Learn more about Eli at AttachmentNerd.com.

Follow her on instagram at https://www.instagram.com/attachmentnerd/

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