Life Lessons at 45 with Vince Gabriele

The Strength Coach Podcast

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Highlights of Special Episode 384.5

Vince Gabriele, owner of Gabriele Fitness and founder of Fitness Business University and Kiss Marketing

"Life Lessons at 45"

We spoke about the newsletter he sent out to his mailing list:

50 Nuggets of Advice on my 45th Birthday.

This Month on June 18th I turned 45 years old. When I multiply 45x2…I get 90. If I’m lucky, I’m half way. One of the proudest accomplishments of my life was presenting my kids a book that held 365 pieces of life advice.

It was 50,000 words that took me a full year to create. I’ve decided to do a mini version for you here about life, business, success, family, marriage, health, marketing and any other random stuff that comes to my mind as I write this.

Some of these I’ve mastered, others a work in progress…

1. Are You Successful? That’s totally dependent on YOUR definition of success. Only your definition of counts. Not your parents, not yours, not anyone on social media. Only Yours. If you don’t feel successful it could that you really are, you just haven’t created your version.
2. On Reality. Reality is not the way you wish it was, it’s the way it actually is. The farther away from this we get the less power we have to make our lives better. Show me someone out of touch with reality and I’ll show you someone struggling with life.
3. So What? Most problems are very small if we put things in perspective. This is a habit that deserves practice and please borrow my favorite mantra for the perspective habit of SO WHAT?
4. Health and Money. There’s no sense in ruining your health to make more money. The people that do spend all their money trying to get their health back. Many times, it’s not enough.
5. On Happiness. Happiness is not a destination, it’s a state of mind that can be achieved right now. Don’t be on a journey to be happy. Look around and recognize the love, beauty and great people in your life and it’s right there. You can have a great life and not be happy every minute too.
6. Your Inner Circle. Who you spend time with most will become major influences in your life. It works in both directions.
7. Free Money For Disciplined People. Save money… every month. Because compound interest is very powerful Teach this to your children early.
8. Stretch. If your PR in the deadlift goes down by 4 pounds became if stretching that’s a trade to make. As I get older, I need to stretch more…if I don’t I feel like garbage.
9. Leave Thy Mother and Father. The most important person in the world to me is Vanessa (My Wife) My actions didn’t always back this up. Today they do.
10. What matters most for retention. The secret to great retention is a great staff…It’s not your programming, your equipment or your member BBQ’s. The secret for bad retention is lots of staff turnover.
11. Marriages Over Time: Mine started rough, has gotten better every year. I can only point to personal growth from both us. The focus on becoming the best version of ourselves has done the trick.
12. Life Insurance: Get Life Insurance.
13. Double KB Deadlift>Trap Bar Deadlifts…for guys that write lots of books and have tight hips.
14. My Favorite Snack. Cinnamon roll protein powder (from my man Jason Derose and GymSupps.org) Greek yogurt with blueberries.
15. Read This: The Road Less Stupid By Keith Cunningham,…as many times as you can.
16. Making Money and Keeping Money. These are different. Making a lot of money doesn’t mean you’ll have a lot.
17. On Resentment: Resentment is like injecting poison into yourself and expecting the other person to die.
18. My personal definition of success has 4 components:

• Good Physical and Mental Health
• Great Marriage
• Great Relationships with my kids and small handful of friends
• Work I love that makes a difference in the world and pays me in abundance

What’s yours?

19. Write everyday…it will likely make you rich.
20. Nostalgia is very powerful. Watching old school WWE documentaries makes me really happy. Go find what brings you nostalgia and consume it…intelligently, guilt free.
21. Focus on yourself LESS. The more you focus on you and every negative thought or feeling you have, the more miserable you’ll be. Shift the focus to other and be grateful.
22. Pay Attention. The moment in front of us is most important, learned that from my wonderful wife.
23. Productivity. The most important part of productivity is knowing the most important things you do…and doing them as much as possible
24. Time Block. You are insane if you want to be more successful and you don’t time block. Here’s how it works. Decide to do something important (see 23) than, set a timer, then work on ONLY that important thing till the timer goes off. Very Simple, impossible for most.
25. On Decision: Your life is just the sum of all the decisions you’ve made up to this point. This is a skill, you can better at this. It’s a wise decision.
26. If you want to make more money…

• make more offers
• raise your prices
• learn things that bring more value to your market

27. The secret to successful public speaking comes down to these 3 things:

• Focus on bringing value to the audience and how you can impact their life, not how you’re going to do
• Great storytelling: tell lots of stories about yourself that will have meaning for your audience
• Talking about something you know inside and out

28. Let it Go. The calmest I’ve been in my life is when I’ve let go. The most tense I’ve ever been is when I’m holding tight.
29. Fixing Anxiety. You cannot truly fix anxiety if you do not address breathing.
30. Going to God. Don’t just go to God when you need him, go every day.
31. If you have kids, write them letters. Letters that they will keep. Letters that will be there when you’re gone. This means write something good, something worth keeping.
32. People. If you own a gym, you will never have freedom without learning how to recruit, lead and manage good people
33. Money Matters. The people that say it does not… don’t have any. Become smart about money and by all means make loads of it. But know that money beyond a certain level won’t bring more happiness. There’s LOTS of miserable rich people.
34. On Visualization. If you want something, start to visualize it. Make it a daily habit and there’s a very good chance you’ll get whatever you visualize. 10 minutes a is the ticket to getting what you want. Wake up and do it.
35. On Walking. When you need ideas, mental clarity or just to dump some stress…WALK. Just start walking and don’t stop until you need to. No headphones. Because silence wages war on the negative thoughts in your mind.
36. Let Them Do It. Let your kids carry their own bag, make their own lunch, turn off their own light and by all means of they struggle, as hard as it is, let them figure it out., They will.
37. Kids and BJJ. Start your kids in BJJ at a young age. It’s been the best thing I’ve ever done for my 3 kids.
38. Stand on the Shoulders of Great People. Read biographies of successful people or listen to the founder’s podcast
39. Date Night. Every Week. non-negotiable. You can’t afford to say you can’t afford it or don’t have the time.
40. You can be jacked and not be healthy…Your blood tells the story of your health on the inside. Get it drawn a few times a year.
41. Be a Producer. Create and build things that bring value to the world. Write the book, start the business, film the video. Go do stuff.
42. Proudest Moments= Toughest Times. When I look back the proudest moments were during the shittiest times. Try to remember that in the moment of the shit time, it’s hard but is a skill that can be developed.
43. Workout. Every Damn Day. No exceptions. No Negotiations. No Whining. It will be done.
44. Find this out. If you don’t know what you want, no one can help you. If you don’t know…This becomes job number 1.
45. Environment. Where you work matters a lot. I get much more quality work done at the library than I do at Starbucks.
46. Steel Trap Retention. In your quest to grow your business never forget that keeping your clients is much easier and cheaper than getting new ones. Build a business where people would never even consider leaving for a competitor.
47. Run hills. It’s good for the heart and makes your calves look jacked. More importantly, everything worthwhile in life is uphill, might as well get some reps.
48. Be curious. Put serious thinking into why things work, why they don’t, why some people are winning, why others are losing, why you have certain thoughts, why you feel certain emotions, options. Meet it all with curiosity and it’ll show up very differently.
49. Fasting. It just makes sense if you want more energy and better health. It’s amazing how much better I feel when I fast. The panda man knows his stuff.
50. Paycheck People. Look for team members that will fall in love with your vision, culture and values. I’ve never had any success with “paycheck people."

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