Adulting on Your Own Terms Pt 3 - Vision = Goals + Body Cues + Community

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ILP: Adulting on Your Own Terms Pt 3

Lori discusses a framework for achieving a fulfilling adult life, emphasizing that vision = goals + body cues + community. She explains how setting clear, achievable goals, such as reducing overwhelmed days or minimizing food waste, can help manage expectations and improve daily life. Body cues, like emotional responses serve as real-time metrics. Community involvement is crucial for collective care and sharing responsibilities, such as grocery shopping with roommates. Lori encourages listeners to apply this framework to their own lives, refining goals & body cues over time, & to consider how their actions influence & are influenced by their community.

Transcript

https://otter.ai/u/wzxzQ4IHrbvPgKv5guOHnh3Qp_U

Action items

• Identify a vision for an area of your adult life.

• Determine the goals, body cues, and community aspects that can support that vision.

• Share any insights or questions that come up from applying this framework.

Outline

Vision Equals Goals Plus Body Cues Plus Community

• Lori introduces the concept of vision = goals + body cues + community.

• Putting language to one's vision to make it tangible & relatable is highlighted.

• They share a personal anecdote about avoiding goals due to pathological demand avoidance (PDA) & the subsequent re-sentimenting of goals.

• Goals are likened to setting boundaries or "bumpers" in a bowling alley to manage expectations & avoid overwhelm.

Setting Realistic Goals and Sub-Goals

• Lori provides examples of achievable goals, such as reducing the number of days feeling overwhelmed & making more mindful food purchases.

• The process of breaking larger goals into manageable sub-goals is discussed, such as creating a clear list of work deliverables.

• The importance of having data & facts to advocate for oneself in meetings is emphasized.

• Lori shares her initial resistance to goals due to external expectations & the need for self-defined metrics.

Body Cues as Real-Time Metrics

• Lori explains that body cues can serve as real-time metrics for progress, complementing external metrics that take time to materialize.

• Ex. of body cues include feeling less emotional spikes when dealing with food waste & spending less time in the grocery store.

• Identifying & recognizing body cues maintains motivation & belief in one's vision.

Community as a Support System

• Lori discusses the role of community in achieving one's vision, referencing the saying that we are the sum of the five people we spend the most time with.

• The concept of collective care & community care is introduced, highlighting intergenerational & systemic nature of dysfunction.

• The importance of doing one's part & bringing in community to support one's vision is emphasized.

• Ex. of involving community in goals, such as sharing grocery shopping responsibilities with roommates, are provided.

Practical Steps to Implement the Vision Formula

• Apply the vision formula to different aspects of life, starting with defining an ideal day.

• The process of identifying goals, body cues, & community involvement is outlined.

• The flexibility of the vision formula allows for refinement & adjustment based on personal experiences.

Engaging with the Community and Reflecting on Personal Vision

• It’s important to acknowledge the collective influence on one's life & the role of community in achieving personal goals.

• Adulting on one's own terms emphasizes the interconnectedness of individual actions & community support.

• Ex. of community involvement empowering & shifting dynamics within relationships are pr