EP 115: Permission to Speak: Reclaiming Your Voice Beyond Relational Trauma with Samara Bay

The Unburdened Leader

What prevents you from speaking up?

When you were younger, what was your experience when you spoke up? Were you heard, or were you silenced, ignored, or punished?

The echoes of earlier wounds often shape our ability to speak up. Our ability to speak up is often influenced by the burden of past experiences, whether it's in meetings, public forums, or one-on-one conversations, speaking up can feel like a significant risk when past relational traumas resurface.

Even the most confident leaders may carry fears of rejection, judgment, or failure, stemming from previous experiences of not being heard or valued. We may worry about being misunderstood or feel that our words lack significance.

Embracing your voice, even in the face of uncertainty, is a transformative act. It's a journey towards building more courage and leading in alignment with your values.

Speaking with grounded confidence isn't just about exerting authority; it's about fostering trust, connection, and respect within yourself and with those you lead.

Today’s guest lives the principles she teaches on speaking up and showing up with more power, especially for those who hold identities outside of dominant cultural norms. Her work offers us all a powerful road map for speaking up without exiling our story.

Samara Bay is the author of the best-selling book, Permission to Speak, a revolutionary take on public speaking for the future we want. She is a Los Angeles-based speech coach whose clients range from candidates for US Congress to C-suite executives, change-making entrepreneurs, movie stars, and high school girls. She has led workshops and keynotes for groups across various industries, from significant corporations to nonprofit foundations and academic institutions, and her work has been widely featured in the media.

Listen to the full episode to hear:

• How Samara’s work with emerging political leaders caused her to realize that we need to change the narrative of how authority is “supposed” to sound
• How she connects losing her voice in grad school to an internalized shame of sounding “different” that people of non-dominant identities carry
• Why we need to shift the narrative to allow authoritative voices to be emotionally honest and vulnerable
• The value of using our voices to care out loud and to tell our stories
• Why it’s normal to sound different in various settings, as long as we aren’t compromising our integrity
• Unpacking common “negative” speech patterns and how they function in our communication
• Breaking down the impossible balancing acts of archetypes we expect of women in power

Learn more about Samara Bay:

• Website
• Instagram: @samarabay
• How to Show Up
• Connect on LinkedIn
• Permission to Speak: How to Change What Power Sounds Like, Starting with You

Learn more about Rebecca:

• rebeccaching.com
• Work With Rebecca
• Sign up for the weekly Unburdened Leader Email

Resources:

• A Court of Thorns and Roses, Sarah J. Maas
• Taylor Swift - marjorie
• Bridgerton
• Kids Incorporated
• The All New Mickey Mouse Club
• Moms Demand Action
• EP 90: Engaged and Consistent Leadership: with Moms Demand Action Founder, Shannon Watts