Ask Uncut - Workplace Gift Dramas & Getting A Guy Out of the DMs to Real Life

Life Uncut

Hey lifers,
Welcome back to ask uncut where we answer all of your deep, dark and burning questions!
We're all a little scattered today driving past turn offs and forgetting entire road trips!

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Then we jump into your questions!

SHOULD 'FAMILY PLANNING' BE ASKED BY MY BOSS?
I’m a medical doctor going through my final years of subspecialty training. I had a missed miscarriage in April this year and had to ask for time off work to go through the miscarriage and I developed complications afterwards resulting in a hospital admission. This time off “had to be approved” by my head of department I was told. A few months later I interviewed for a Fellow job (a promotion) and was told I’m “not ready”. Then in my supervisor meeting a month or two later, my supervisor (who is the HOD) flatly asked me how my “family planning” is going?!? I feel very uncomfortable about this situation and feel like I’m being held back because I’m a mother hoping to have another child. I guess my question is:
- Am I wrong to feel I’m being discriminated against?
- Is there anything I should/could do about this?
- Should I just suck it up and put up with it?
Keep in mind these people have total control over my career progression in training and in the hospital

WORKPLACE GIFTS
When I first joined my workplace, within a short time there was the 40th birthday of one of the 9 staff members in our office. Despite there being no party that colleagues were invited to, there was a collection of money for a gift for this person. At the time I was in my early 20’s. Fast forward and I’ve recently had my 30th and had celebrations without my work colleagues invited (intimate small gatherings out of town). Now I didn’t receive a gift from my colleagues. No biggie I thought, whatever. But now another colleague is having his 60th and we’ve been invited by the family to lunch and there’s an office money collection for a present. TBH I’m like WTF! I don’t know if this gift is meant to be in lieu of maybe some free food at the party, but I’m not impressed. I kinda want to make a point and not put money in, but being in a small office, I know I will be talked about and so I’ll just cave to social pressure and put cash in… But have I missed some social cues here? Would love to know the girls thought

HOW DO I GET THIS GUY OUT OF MY DMs AND INTO A REAL DATE?
I’ve been messaging this Aussie ‘influencer’ since January. He’s mentioned multiple times that he ‘can’t wait to see me,’ but still hasn’t asked me out despite living just 25 minutes away. I get that he has a busy, travel-heavy life, but it’s frustrating that when he’s back in town, he doesn’t make the effort. I’ve even called him out, saying it feels like he’s just keeping me around to stroke his ego. He insists that’s not the case but always has some excuse. Our mutual friends have hinted that he can be sketchy, so now I’m wondering—do I keep him around for banter or just a ghost

DO I INVITE MY EX BEST FRIEND TO MY WEDDING?
My ex best friend and I were best friends for 10 years, she saw me through the best and worst of times and a few of those years were long-distance (international). We had a falling out two years ago - it was pretty rough and we tried to work through it, but it just wasn’t working so we stopped speaking. We never spoke about it to resolve things but since then we’ve messaged each other for each other’s birthdays, and any other big events (she texted me congrats on the engagement) and it’s always been pleasant. Her family and I have remained super close which includes her parents and her sister (who is like a little sister to me). I definitely want to invite her family to my wedding, does that mean I have to invite her? If so, how do I approach the situation? The wedding will be only with my closest family and friends (100 people max). She was always my other half, and I never imagined having my wedding without her. But is it weird to invite someone who you’re not that close with any more just because they used to mean a lot to you? I think about her every day and I wish that we could reconcile our friendship, but I fear that the distance is too hard as that was our falling out

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