Episode #25: Free CHAPTER TWO audio reading from the ADDICT book

Lies Between Us - Roger Ray Bird

The complete CHAPTER TWO audio recording, read by Roger.
CHAPTER ONE can be found in the previous pod episode #23.
Chapter Two excerpt:
(a poem) Mirror-Mirror Why Do You Hate Me So?

Yes I see, yes Mirror I see the glass is clear yes I see…

Yet Mirror, why always same-same the seeing?

Storm clouds shower thy under-roof’s nest

Sans shelter, sans safety, sans calm

A rare outing, apart thy guardian’s wing

Some sunshine sprinkles atop thou’s madness

Near here, only near here my dear, fear the mere moment

No-no, oh no, no-no-no, I hear thine momma bird’s song a calling…

Mirror please, I hunger hearing no more

Mirror please, now cut off these ears

Mirror please, I seek seeing no more

Mirror please, forever fog thy darkness

Please Mirror please now forever blind these eyes.

Some Nests No Home

Once collected from Detroit, still occupying our first Baltimore area Hillsdale Road haunted home, after a while the bat-shit-crazy mother bird then nothing but gone from our family forever-n-ever institutionalized…bye-bye mommy, father bird removed his wedding ring for finality and we fled that damn monster house. Veritably, BigBird did what he believed right, both protecting us from our mother’s insanity, while himself adjusting course to attend night school for another five years. The resulting edginess flooding my father seemed unbearable, even to me as a young ignorant seventh-year child. He was by far away more than home, and even when around, BigBird yelled into my perceived ears more than he spoke.

The wobbliness followed wherever I went, me invariantly unsteady within my own shoes.

Though a shaky roof teetered overhead, I felt relegated apart from any shelter, and far-far from whatsoever warmth or support. Maybe I was just being weak, a wimp, a little fucking biddy crybaby bird, IDK. With the familiar sheets of bitchboy downgrading rain pelting me, finding nowhere secured nor space zoned calm, I fled, I ran.

I ran fear filled and resentful

I ran then fell then ran til lost, castaway adrift and underbelly exposed

I saw, I saw only slightly…I saw only darkened skies

Darkened skies, darkened skies as the bare warm noontime sun shone

Not running to get un-lost

Not fueled by hope

Not desperate to find

Nor frantic to be found

Again fleeing the frights

Again eluding the yelling

Again pissed off mad I was, atmospherically disregarded

Again, again this catastrophic unsteadiness

I relied on nothing, I turned to no one but mine some the paltry resource crumbs

I sought shelter, I coveted comfort, yet still running, yet still lost

I then froze, I then froze and I hardened, I hardened cold like stone

I hardened cold like stone, immediately then the chipping away began

My self-belief fractured, factually crumbled, my-self succumbed to nothingness

Unbothered the nothingness, unbothered the skip-over, worthless even the bother

Worthless the breath, worthless the existence, this slur worthless the worry

Worthless…worthless to a lesser degree than even muddied parking lot gravel.

The book:
Daddy, Why Were You A Drug Addict?: Winning the War Amid My Angel and Devil Within
by Roger Ray Bird
ISBN 979-8218286651
Available on Amazon for $11
Roger's social directory: HERE