1 Samuel Pt. 4 - God's Not Here Man

Bible Stories for Atheists

Ok. NOW Saul is king, I guess. So there is your happy ending to the story. Nothing could possibly-- What's that? God's already done with him? Ughhhhhh...
Saul pisses off the all powerful Lord by cooking meat without a license. Samuel pulled him over and cited him for sacrificing without bribing a priest. Thus our God of Love passes judgement like a coked out squirrel.
Saul's son, Jonathan, carries out a plan so vague the Philistines never saw it coming and he deals a massive defeat to them. Then he eats some honey and his dad decides to kill him. Because that makes sense. Thankfully apparently everyone stops him.
And Samuel gives a retirement speech. Israel got him a gold watch and a bottle of whiskey. Too bad he lost his pension in the financial collapse of 1170 BC.
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บท

1. Intro (00:00:00)

2. Sunshine Titanic Dildo (00:02:47)

3. Previously on BSFA (00:10:10)

4. Long Live the Chief (00:11:02)

5. You Don't Cook the Meat, I Cook the Meat (00:22:18)

6. Ad (00:37:44)

7. Mmmmm... Forbidden Honey (00:39:20)

8. Outro (00:53:34)