The Model Health Show is a fun, entertaining, and enlightening look at health and fitness. No subject is off limits here! World-renown author and nutritionist Shawn Stevenson breaks down complex health issues and makes them easy to understand and overcome. Whether it's weight loss, chronic fatigue, heart disease, diet, exercise, sex, hormones, sleep problems, or countless other health topics, the insights you get here will help you transform your health and live your best life ever.
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เนื้อหาจัดทำโดย Balance365 Life เนื้อหาพอดแคสต์ทั้งหมด รวมถึงตอน กราฟิก และคำอธิบายพอดแคสต์ได้รับการอัปโหลดและจัดหาให้โดยตรงจาก Balance365 Life หรือพันธมิตรแพลตฟอร์มพอดแคสต์ของพวกเขา หากคุณเชื่อว่ามีบุคคลอื่นใช้งานที่มีลิขสิทธิ์ของคุณโดยไม่ได้รับอนุญาต คุณสามารถปฏิบัติตามขั้นตอนที่แสดงไว้ที่นี่ https://th.player.fm/legal
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Squid Game is back, and so is Player 456. In the gripping Season 2 premiere, Player 456 returns with a vengeance, leading a covert manhunt for the Recruiter. Hosts Phil Yu and Kiera Please dive into Gi-hun’s transformation from victim to vigilante, the Recruiter’s twisted philosophy on fairness, and the dark experiments that continue to haunt the Squid Game. Plus, we touch on the new characters, the enduring trauma of old ones, and Phil and Kiera go head-to-head in a game of Ddakjji. Finally, our resident mortician, Lauren Bowser is back to drop more truth bombs on all things death. SPOILER ALERT! Make sure you watch Squid Game Season 2 Episode 1 before listening on. Let the new games begin! IG - @SquidGameNetflix X (f.k.a. Twitter) - @SquidGame Check out more from Phil Yu @angryasianman , Kiera Please @kieraplease and Lauren Bowser @thebitchinmortician on IG Listen to more from Netflix Podcasts . Squid Game: The Official Podcast is produced by Netflix and The Mash-Up Americans.…
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เนื้อหาจัดทำโดย Balance365 Life เนื้อหาพอดแคสต์ทั้งหมด รวมถึงตอน กราฟิก และคำอธิบายพอดแคสต์ได้รับการอัปโหลดและจัดหาให้โดยตรงจาก Balance365 Life หรือพันธมิตรแพลตฟอร์มพอดแคสต์ของพวกเขา หากคุณเชื่อว่ามีบุคคลอื่นใช้งานที่มีลิขสิทธิ์ของคุณโดยไม่ได้รับอนุญาต คุณสามารถปฏิบัติตามขั้นตอนที่แสดงไว้ที่นี่ https://th.player.fm/legal
We are Balance365. We are bringing balance, moderation and sanity to women’s health and fitness. Our approach is unique, yet simple: women need to figure out what works for their unique life! This is what allows women to live happily and healthfully with balance and ease.
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เนื้อหาจัดทำโดย Balance365 Life เนื้อหาพอดแคสต์ทั้งหมด รวมถึงตอน กราฟิก และคำอธิบายพอดแคสต์ได้รับการอัปโหลดและจัดหาให้โดยตรงจาก Balance365 Life หรือพันธมิตรแพลตฟอร์มพอดแคสต์ของพวกเขา หากคุณเชื่อว่ามีบุคคลอื่นใช้งานที่มีลิขสิทธิ์ของคุณโดยไม่ได้รับอนุญาต คุณสามารถปฏิบัติตามขั้นตอนที่แสดงไว้ที่นี่ https://th.player.fm/legal
We are Balance365. We are bringing balance, moderation and sanity to women’s health and fitness. Our approach is unique, yet simple: women need to figure out what works for their unique life! This is what allows women to live happily and healthfully with balance and ease.
…
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×Episode Overview Last week, we explored six surprising weight loss experiences that often go unmentioned. Today, we’re diving deeper into one of the most common challenges women face during their weight loss journey: dealing with unsolicited comments about your body or weight. These remarks, whether well-intentioned or not, can stir up a range of emotions, leaving you feeling vulnerable or frustrated. This episode will discuss the impact of such feedback and offer strategies to help you stay focused on your progress without letting these comments derail your efforts. If you’re continuing to struggle with self-sabotage behaviors, Balance365 can help. Balance365 Coaching offers comprehensive nutrition and behavior change coaching that can transform your life. Enrollment opens again on January 20th, and we’d love to have you join us! By joining our obligation-free waitlist, you’ll get early access to spots 24 hours before the general public. We’ll also waive the $199 registration fee. Learn more here . Key Points Recognizing when weight comments can trigger strong emotional reactions, leading to feelings of hurt, resentment, or self-sabotage How to build better self-awareness around these emotional triggers. Identifying the stories we tell ourselves about the intent behind comments. How to respond, or not respond, in a way that aligns with our values. Related Content Episode 282: 3 Essential Body Image Shifts with Therapist Phaedra Gryz Episode 161: How To Celebrate Weight Loss Transcript Download a copy of this episode’s transcript here .…
Episode Overview People often think a weight loss journey is all about losing weight and living happily ever after, right? Well, today, we’re here to explain how the reality can be quite different. Join us as we share six unexpected outcomes from our weight loss journeys and pull back the curtain on the things no one really talks about. And remember, Balance365 Coaching opens for enrollment in March! Join our no-obligation waitlist and you'll get early access to spots 24 hours before the public, plus we'll waive the $199 registration fee. We can’t wait to work with you! Key Points Annie discusses some expectations vs realities of her weight loss journey. Both Annie and Jen reflect on how their body image has evolved. Why weight loss won’t solve many of the problems we think it will. Why body changes may feel overwhelming and trigger some unexpected emotional responses. Related Content Episode 167: Annie’s Weight Loss Story — What She Would Have Done Differently Episode 311: Q+A – What Made Weight Loss “Click” for Us? Transcript Download a copy of this episode’s transcript here .…
Episode Overview In today’s episode, Jen and Annie dive into the topic of emotional eating and the habits that might be fueling it. They’re breaking down four sneaky behaviors that could be making it much harder to overcome emotional eating than it needs to be. Tune in to learn what these habits are and how you can start making changes today! But before you hit play, our life-changing nutrition coaching program opens for enrollment next week! Get your name on our waitlist to access spots 24 hours before the general public, and we will waive the $199 registration fee. Key Points Recognizing that emotional eating often follows a predictable trigger-craving-reward cycle. Why lack of sleep significantly contributes to emotional eating patterns Identifying how we can use food to elevate or sustain a mood How subtle thoughts like "It doesn’t matter" sabotage progress Why impatience often derails long-term success Mentions Episode 277: 5 Tips to Reduce Emotional Eating Episode 165: How To Break Free From Emotional Eating Related Content Episode 212: Q+A – Emotional Eating, Rage Eating, And The “Screw Its” Episode 308: 5 Reasons You Can’t. Stop. Eating! 3 Steps to End Emotional Eating Mini Course Transcript Download a copy of this episode’s transcript here .…
1 Episode 358: Member Spotlight – Unpacking Emotional Eating and Pursuing Real Change with Maura 45:51
Episode Overview Today’s episode is a must-listen! We’re chatting with Maura, a Balance365 member from Los Angeles, who shares how she’s embraced taking self-care like never before. Maura’s journey is unique—she didn’t grow up dieting or worrying about her body. But after having children, she found herself caught in the cycle of restrictive dieting. Inside Balance365, she has learned how to create balanced nutrition habits that align with her goals and discovered the key to breaking a years-long emotional eating habit. Her insights are relatable and inspiring, and we know you’ll gain so much from hearing her story. Come listen! Don’t forget!!! Our life-changing nutrition coaching program opens again for enrollment on January 20th. Get your name on the waitlist to access spots 24 hours before the general public, and we’ll waive the $199 registration fee. Key Points How Maura embraced kindness, awareness, and healthier behaviors through Balance365. Maura shares the causes of her emotional eating and what has helped with her snacking habit. How Maura has cultivated sustainable, unique solutions through Balance365. We learn about the powerful positive changes that have improved her relationships, mindset, and overall quality of life. Related Content Episode 324: After the After – Roxanne is Crushing Life So Hard (Oh, and She’s Lost 50lbs, Too!) Episode 234: After the After – Karen’s Healthy Habits After Balance365 End Emotional Eating Mini Course Transcript Download a copy of this episode’s transcript here .…
Episode Overview Happy 2025, everyone! As we reflect on the past year and plan for the next, now is the perfect time to check in: How’s your health? Are you happy with your nutrition, movement, and sleep? How’s your emotional well-being? Did 2024 bring progress, or did another year pass without the changes you hoped for? If you’re not feeling good about your answers above, and ready to turn things around to make 2025 different this time, this episode is for you. Let’s talk about how to shift your trajectory and make this your year. Come listen! Women who seek support and accountability are more successful, and we’re here to help. Enrollment for Balance365 Coaching opens soon! Join our waitlist to snag early access and get the $199 enrollment fee waived. This is life-changing nutrition coaching— learn more right here ! Key Points How to identify beliefs or habits that held you back and determine what needs to change for 2025 to be more successful. Why it’s better to focus on achievable, small changes that can build over time rather than overwhelming, sweeping transformations. Why developing a "how" process to sustain habits, even during stressful or unmotivated times, will ensure long-term success. The importance of recognizing when going it alone hasn’t worked and considering getting guidance or joining a supportive community is key. Mentions Nancy’s Podcast Related Content Episode 196: The Secret To Staying Consistent Longer Than 3 Weeks Episode 281: Where to Start with Weight Loss When You’re Overwhelmed Transcript Download a copy of this episode’s transcript here .…
Episode Overview Happy holidays to you all! Today on the podcast, Jen and Annie recap their years, discussing their highs and lows of 2024. Listen to learn what they’ve both been up to, how they’re processing and navigating personal challenges, and what they’re thankful for. Enjoy! Remember to mark your calendar! Our life-changing nutrition coaching program opens for enrollment on January 20th. Join our waitlist now to secure early access—24 hours before the public—and we’ll waive the $199 enrollment fee. Let’s make 2025 your best year yet! Key Points Jen and Annie share their lows and struggles as parents with growing kids Jen shares some positive milestones with her family and turning 40 Annie shares some personal accomplishments that she’s very proud of Both Annie and Jen share their appreciation for the whole Balance365 team Mentions Adam Price, PhD Related Content Episode 252: Jen and Annie’s Highs and Lows of 2022 Episode 280: Personal + Professional Updates from Jen and Annie Transcript Download a copy of this episode’s transcript here .…
Episode Overview Welcome to the final episode of our Holiday Coaching Sessions series! Over the past few months, we've welcomed four incredible women to share their holiday eating concerns, and today, you'll meet Nancy. Nancy's session took an unexpected turn as we dove deep into her weight loss panic during the holidays—a feeling many can relate to. As someone new to Balance365, Nancy brought fresh perspectives and challenges, and by the end of our conversation, she was well on her way with the tools and mindset to rewrite her story. If you’ve ever felt the pressure of weight loss goals or weight anxiety during the holiday season, this episode and the resources linked in the show notes are essential for you! If you're ready for life changing nutrition coaching, don't miss our next enrollment period starting January 20th. Joining our waitlist gives you access to spots 24 hours before the general public, plus we'll waive the $199 registration fee. Don’t wait. Hop on the waitlist here . Key Points Nancy reflects on her upbringing in diet culture and explores the impact it has on her self-worth, weight loss goals, and how she models behaviors for her daughters. Nancy and Jen discuss the importance of separating self-worth from weight and embracing self-acceptance while pursuing self-care goals. Jen helps Nancy with some simple, actionable self-care practices that are in alignment with her goals. Jen helps Nancy shift her mindset from short-term pressure for quick fixes to long-term consistency and realistic expectations. Mentions Episode 238: New Here? How to Simplify Nutrition Episode 150: Weight Loss Simplified Balanced Meal Guide Related Content Episode 290: Member Spotlight – How a Strong Commitment to the Process Helped Michelle Lose 40lbs Episode 149: Member Spotlight – How Phaedra’s Mindset Shift Led To A 30lb Weight Loss Transcript Download a copy of this episode’s transcript here .…
1 Episode 354: Coaching Sessions - Can Tasha Enjoy the Holidays While Maintaining Her Weight Loss Trajectory? 36:43
Episode Overview Welcome back to another episode in our special holiday coaching series! Today, we're excited to introduce Tasha. Tasha is a self-proclaimed food lover and is relatable to so many of us who find joy in food but struggle to balance it with our fat loss goals. She’s brand new to Balance365 philosophies, but her commitment to building sustainable habits through the holiday season is inspiring. Join us as we learn about her journey, hear her insights, and make a plan to help her enjoy the season without losing sight of her goals. Enjoy! Don’t forget: our next enrollment opens to the waitlist only on January 20th. Join the waitlist now and we’ll waive the $199 registration fee, too! Click here to learn more ! Key Points Tasha shares her weight loss journey and her struggle with overeating during social and holiday settings. Tasha learns how to better recognize and manage her eating habits by tuning into her body’s cues. Annie shares her tips on how to build awareness of satiety cues. Annie and Tasha built a plan to enjoy food without overindulging and to enter the new year feeling capable and satisfied. Mentions Weight Loss Without Restriction Facebook Group Related Content Episode 349: Coaching Sessions – Why Can’t Andrea Pass Up Halloween Candy? Episode 182: Overcoming Fear Of Weight Loss Failure (Behind-The-Scenes Of A Coaching Call!) Balanced Meal Guide Transcript Download a copy of this episode’s transcript here .…
1 Episode 353: Beyond Body Positive Author Interview (Janet Boseovski, PhD, and Ashleigh Gallagher, PhD) 57:24
Episode Overview Today, we are joined by author and Balance365 member Janet Boseovski, PhD, and her co-author Ashleigh Gallagher, PhD, to discuss their new book, Beyond Body Positive: A Mother’s Science-Based Guide for Helping Girls Build a Healthy Body Image. This episode isn’t just for moms—it’s for anyone guiding children aged 3-10 toward a positive self-image. Janet and Ashleigh are here to share practical, science-backed strategies tailored to each stage of childhood, making this episode a must-listen for parents, teachers, and caregivers alike. If you want to learn how you can support the young ones in your life–and likely learn about yourself, too--don’t skip this episode! Key Points A bit about the authors, Janet Boseovski, PhD, and Ashleigh Gallagher, PhD How they came to write a science-based, practical guide for helping children build a healthy body image. Why it is crucial for mothers and caregivers to model body-neutral behavior and provide age-appropriate strategies to help children build body image resilience with a focus on health over appearance. Janet and Ashleigh explain how they aim to create a cultural shift by promoting body respect and functionality and hope to spark long-term change in future generations. Mentions Beyond Body Positive: A Mother's Science-Based Guide for Helping Girls Build a Healthy Body Image Related Content Episode 258: Q+A – How Do I Find Time to Exercise with a New Baby? Episode 112: How To Talk To Kids About Food During Times Of Uncertainty With Terri Ney Transcript Download a copy of this episode’s transcript here .…
Episode Overview Get ready for Black Friday and Cyber Monday with us! In this episode, Annie and Jen share their favorite health and wellness-related purchases, products they're eyeing, and even a few purchases that didn’t live up to the hype. Whether you agree or disagree with their picks, you're bound to pick up some great ideas (and maybe a few warnings!). And don’t forget to join the conversation on social media to share your own best finds! You can find Balance365 Life on both Instagram and Facebook. We look forward to hearing from you! Key Points Jen and Annie their favorite health and wellness-related purchases A list of the things they use frequently Items they regret buying Some products they're considering buying during the Black Friday/Cyber Monday sales Related Content Episode 346: 5 Reminders About Weight Loss + Nutrition During the Holidays Episode 244: 3 Tips to Stay on Track During the Holidays Transcript Download a copy of this episode’s transcript here .…
1 Episode 351: How Kaisu Changed Her Mindset, Gained a World of Confidence, and Lost 40lbs with Balance365 44:02
Episode Overview Hi everyone! We have a heartfelt Member Spotlight for you today. We are thrilled to introduce Kaisu, one of our international members from Finland, who has experienced a remarkable transformation since joining Balance365. After years of sitting on the sidelines, Kaisu took the leap and joined our program, leading to a 40-pound weight loss, increased confidence, and some major mindset shifts. But as you'll hear, her biggest takeaway isn't just about weight loss – it's about becoming a confident and empowered woman. Join us as Kaisu shares how she developed healthier habits, overcame emotional eating, and learned to trust herself through the process. You won’t want to miss this inspiring story of self-discovery and growth. And, as Kaisu says in this episode, don't wait seven years to join like she did! Jump into Balance365 now during our Black Friday sale. You can get all the details right here and start your transformation today! Key Points A bit about Kaisu and her history with nutrition and body image before Balance365 Kaisu shares some of her most significant results from joining Balance365 Coaching How Kaisu learned to overcome emotional and automatic eating, develop a consistent exercise routine, and change her mindset barriers that kept her stuck for years. What life looks like for Kaisu now that she has increased her confidence and self-compassion. Related Content Episode 181: How Katie’s ‘Seismic Change’ In Mindset Led To Losing 50lbs Episode 316: Valuing Self-Worth, Finding the ‘Missing Piece,’ and Losing 40lbs with Tee Transcript Download a copy of this episode’s transcript here .…
1 Episode 350: Coaching Sessions: Can Michelle Avoid the “I’ll Just Start Over in January” Mindset 48:08
Episode Overview Today, we’re kicking off a special series featuring coaching sessions with women from our audience who have concerns about their health, wellness, and weight over the holiday season. In this episode, Annie talks to Michelle, who finds herself saying 'yes' to sweet treats a little too often, especially with the abundance available around the holidays. Each year, she battles the ‘screw it’ mentality, telling herself she’ll 'start over in January.' Together, Annie and Michelle discuss Michelle’s goals and how she wants to feel in January, then dive into the barriers that are holding her back. If you’re ready for life-changing nutrition coaching, don’t miss our next enrollment period! Join the waitlist to access your spot 24 hours before the public, and we’ll waive the $199 registration fee. Visit www.balance365.com/waitlist for all the details. Key Points Michelle’s history with food and weight How Michelle typically navigates the holiday eating Annie asks Michelle how she wants to feel during and after the holidays Annie and Michelle create a filter for what eating experiences are important and valuable and which ones are not Related Content Cut the Crap Workshop Transcript Download a copy of this episode’s transcript here .…
Episode Overview Continuing our holiday coaching series, today we sit down with Andrea from Ottawa who shares a common struggle: the holiday season spiral. While successful with nutrition throughout the year, Andrea finds herself anxious as the holidays approach, knowing she'll have difficulty saying “no” to Halloween candy, party foods, and holiday baked goods. Her story is likely to resonate with many – caught in a cycle of cravings, giving in, feeling guilty, and repeating the pattern day after day. In this episode, Jen works with Andrea to break down her specific challenge with Halloween candy, exploring the root causes of her cravings and building practical strategies to maintain alignment with her goals. If you enjoy this coaching session, just wait until you work with us. Our life-changing nutrition coaching program opens again in January. Join the waitlist to access your spot 24 hours before the public, and we’ll waive the $199 registration fee. Get all the details here . Key Points Andrea describes her busy life and history with food and weight Jen and Andrea discuss the concept of dieting vs restricting Andrea describes her experience of craving Halloween candy Jen and Andrea tease out an underlying belief that drives Andrea's urges to eat Halloween candy Andrea creates a filter for how to decide if she wants to eat a sweet, or not Related Content Episode 171: 4 Reasons You Don't Have Self-Control Around Food Episode 191: How to Work Candy Into Your Weight Loss Plan Episode 295: Coaching Sessions - Unpacking Annie's Sweet Treat Cravings Free Guide: How To Build A Balanced Meal Transcript Download a copy of this episode’s transcript here .…
Episode Overview In today’s bite-sized episode, we’re exploring a common relationship dilemma: What can you do if your partner’s eating habits are making it tough to stick to your own nutrition goals? Come listen as Annie and Jen share their own struggles with this issue, and learn some practical strategies for handling situations like these. Don’t miss it! And, in case you haven’t noticed, the holidays are quickly approaching! This usually means being surrounded by sweet treats. Learn the secret to managing your sugar cravings once and for all and grab our FREE guide on understanding sugar cravings –sent right to your inbox! Key Points Are you taking responsibility for your own choices? The importance of getting honest and asking yourself what you need How to talk with your partner and set boundaries around your goals Related Content Episode 269: How to Talk to Your Partner About Your Weight Loss Goals Episode 174: How Weight Loss Can Impact Marriage And Partnerships Transcript Download a copy of this episode’s transcript here .…
Episode Overview Halloween is here…which means an abundance of candy and other treats. For those of us with weight loss goals, this time of year can feel like navigating a sugar minefield. But don't worry, friends—we’ve got your back. In today’s reshared episode, we’re sharing four simple but powerful tips to help you enjoy your favorite treats (yes, even candy!) while staying on track with your goals. Don’t miss these pointers for navigating this challenging time of year, so you can move forward with peace of mind and actually enjoy the season! And if you’re tired of the endless cycle of being on and off the wagon with your healthy habits… if the overwhelming amount of nutrition information online has you feeling stuck… or if you just want to eat like a normal person again, we’ve got something special for you. Start your journey today with our free guide, How to Build a Balanced Meal , and start effortlessly creating simple, satisfying meals without guilt or overwhelm! Key Points How to stop binging on candy How to give yourself permission to eat a satisfying amount of candy How to enjoy and savor your candy How to make candy part of a balanced nutritional plan Mentions Dr. Yoni Freedhoff Episode 200: You’ve Been Bingeing For A Month Straight… Now What (Reshare) Episode 139: 4 Tips For Moderating Your Halloween Candy Consumption How to Navigate Halloween with Candy-Obsessed Kids Related Content Episode 146: Can You Lose Weight During The Holidays? Episode 298: December is Coming. You’ve Been Warned. Transcript Download a copy of this episode’s transcript here .…
Episode Overview The holiday season brings a whirlwind of food-filled celebrations, from Halloween all the way to New Year’s! In today’s episode, we’re here to help you think ahead so you can figure out how to stay on track with your nutrition and wellness goals. Learn simple strategies to approach holiday eating with confidence and ease! Do you know what else helps navigate all the food stress this holiday season? Balance365! Get the structure, support, and guidance you need with our world-class nutrition coaching program! Our doors are open RIGHT NOW. Get more details here! Key Points The importance of being realistic Types of mindset issues around holiday food The importance of our food environment Examining your non-negotiables How to avoid the shame spiral when you mess up Related Content Episode 197: 5 Holiday Weight Gain Facts You Need To Know Episode 298: December is Coming. You’ve Been Warned Transcript Download a copy of this episode’s transcript here .…
1 Episode 345: Member Spotlight - Unpacking Perfectionism, Embracing Self-Compassion, and Losing 20lbs with Jennifer 54:20
Episode Overview Welcome back to another inspiring Balance365 member spotlight! Today, we’re chatting with Balance365 member and superfan, Jennifer. At 51, Jennifer is a powerhouse—she’s a successful business owner of three companies, a cycling enthusiast, and a proud, self-proclaimed cat lady. Since joining Balance365, she’s lost 20lbs and, more importantly, embraced the power of self-compassion. After years of perfectionism, yo-yo dieting, and exercising solely to burn calories, Jennifer was more than ready for a change. In today’s episode, she opens up with laughter and tears, sharing the mindset shifts that have truly transformed her life. This is an episode you won’t want to miss! Are you ready to experience your own life-changing transformation with Balance365? Great news—our world-class nutrition coaching program opens in just a few days! Join our waitlist now for early access to spots 24 hours before the public, PLUS we’ll waive your registration fee. Don’t miss this chance—get on the list, and we’ll see you on the other side! Key Points Introducing Jennifer and her perfectionist life before Balance365 What led Jennifer to join Balance365 and start learning the power of self-compassion What life looks like for Jennifer now Related Content Episode 296: Member Spotlight – Allison’s Accountability Epiphanies + 30lb Weight Loss with Balance365 Episode 228: Member Spotlight—Jessica’s Powerful Shift from Perfectionism to Consistency and Balance Transcript Download a copy of this episode’s transcript here .…
Episode Overview Last year, we spoke with Jen about her struggle to stick to her strength training goals (episode 294). We explored the common dilemma: "I know what to do, so why am I not doing it?" Now, a year later, we're catching up with Jen to see how her exercise journey has progressed. In this episode, Jen shares the challenges she's faced over the past year and the valuable insights she's gained about herself along the way. Tune in to hear the ups and downs of Jen's fitness journey and what she's learned in the process. Don't miss out—Balance365 opens in just a few weeks! Learn more about our life-changing nutrition and behavior change coaching program right here . We can't wait for you to experience a whole new approach to nutrition and weight loss! Key Points Jen’s challenges around behavior change The benefits of focusing on the process vs the results Jen’s biggest mindset and identity shifts since starting her exercise habit What has worked and what has not Mentions Episode 294: Coaching Sessions – Exploring Jen’s Resistance to Exercise Related Content Episode 230: 3-Part Exercise Series (Exercise 101) Episode 257: Q+A – Untangling the Relationship Between Exercise and Calories Transcript Download a copy of this episode’s transcript here…
Episode Overview In today's episode, we tackle a question that resonates with many: How do you handle the fear of weight gain after quitting restrictive dieting? For those who've been trapped in the yo-yo diet cycle for years, the prospect of abandoning restrictive eating can be nerve-wracking. Listen to learn how to manage these fears and cultivate a healthier mindset around potential weight gain. Before you hit play, make sure you've grabbed our free guide, " How to Build a Balanced Meal ." In this valuable resource, you'll learn what balanced eating really means, how it supports your nutritional and weight goals, and why the components of a balanced plate help you control hunger and cravings. Enjoy! Key Points Why it is important to confront internalized fatphobia Why discomfort will be part of the journey The benefits of adding previously-restricted foods to create balanced meals How to shift to self-care-driven habits Related Content Episode 119: What To Do About Weight Panic (Your Own And Others!) Episode 283: Exploring Self-Love, Body Liberation, and Weight Loss with Sarah Sapora Episode 205: Why Your Weight Fluctuates (And What You Can And Can’t Do About It) Transcript Download a copy of this episode’s transcript here .…
Episode Overview In this episode, we decided to shake things up with some fresh takes straight from our coaching team. In doing so, we’ve uncovered four surprising fat loss mistakes that might be holding you back—ones we hadn’t even thought to share before! Join us as we reveal some previously unexplored patterns that could be sabotaging your progress, and learn how to get back on track toward your goals. Don’t miss this one if you’re serious about lasting fat loss! And, if you’re tired of conflicting nutrition advice and complicated meal plans… It's time to cut through the noise and discover the simple secret to nourishing your body. Download Our FREE Balanced Meal Guide , which reveals: Easy-to-follow principles for creating satisfying meals The key components every meal needs to reduce hunger and cravings Simple strategies to boost energy and feel your best Your path to effortless, balanced eating starts here. Don't wait – take the first step today with the Balanced Meal Guide ! Key Points Taking action without doing mindset work Is it restriction, or is it discomfort? Focusing on what you’re eating more than why or how Overreaction to weight fluctuations Related Content Episode 321: Q+A – How Do I Stop Demonizing Less Nutritious Foods? Episode 245: Tracking Weight, Steps, & Food: When It Hurts, When It Helps (Reshare) Transcript Download a copy of this episode’s transcript here .…
Episode Overview Feeling uncertain about your next steps in your fat loss journey? You're not alone! In today’s Q+A, we give advice to one of our long-time listeners about whether she needs to stick with her current habits and let more time pass or switch things up to accelerate her progress. Join us for our recommended habits to focus on and practical tips to help you stay on track and break through plateaus just like this. Let's get started! One fundamental habit you will hear us talking about all the time is prioritizing balanced, satiating meals. If you aren't sure what “balanced” means, you need our free balanced meal guide! Take out the guesswork out of your nutrition by downloading this completely free guide today ! Key Points Member’s habits seem solid, but her initial weight loss is often followed by a regain Should she focus on consistency or add a new habit? The importance of honoring hunger and satiety cues Related Content Episode 313: Q+A – Does the Number of Meals I Eat in a Day Matter for Fat Loss? Episode 306: 3 Sneaky Reasons You’re Eating More Than You Think Transcript Download a copy of this episode’s transcript here .…
Episode Overview Discover how changing your thoughts can set you up for future success. Inspired by Marshall Goldsmith's insight, "What got you here, won't get you there," we explore the power of mindset shifts in achieving different results. Join us as we highlight four common thoughts that often sabotage women's fat loss goals and provide strategies to effectively manage them. Don’t miss this opportunity to transform your thinking for realistic, sustainable changes! Before we start, if you haven’t yet downloaded our free guide, How to Build a Balanced Meal, make sure to grab a copy today. In this guide you will learn what balanced eating actually means, how it’s possible to meet your nutritional and weight loss goals, and why the components of a balanced meal are so important for managing hunger and cravings on a weight loss journey. Click here to download . Key Points Navigating the “screw-its” Why always saying “It doesn’t matter” does matter Managing expectations around timelines Thinking about failing before even beginning Related Content Episode 268: The Trade-Offs of Fast Weight Loss Episode 303: Q+A – Why Can’t I Stop Thinking About Food? Episode 307: How Yvette Unlearned Perfectionism, Embraced Simplicity, and Lost 30lbs Transcript Download a copy of this episode’s transcript here .…
Episode Overview Today's question comes from a member in our private Facebook group who asked, "What are your thoughts on set point theory?" This theory suggests that your body naturally strives to maintain a specific, genetically determined weight. As Balance365 coaches who have helped thousands of women around the world reach their behavior change and weight loss goals, we have some interesting perspectives to share on this topic. Come listen! Tired of conflicting nutrition advice and complicated meal plans? It's time to cut through the noise and discover the simple secret to nourishing your body. Download our FREE Balanced Meal Guide ! It’s packed with straightforward, science-backed guidance to transform your relationship with food. Your path to effortless, balanced eating starts here. Don't wait – take the first step today! Key Points What is set point theory Where the theory gets heavily criticized Annie and Jen share some complexities of set point weight Mentions Episode 73: What An Obesity Specialist Wants You To Know About Weight Loss Episode 53: Secrets From The Eating Lab: Dr. Traci Mann Related Content Episode 180: 3 Sneaky Weight Loss Sabotagers Episode 151: How To Curate Your Environment For Weight Loss Success…
Episode Overview Are you undermining your own weight loss journey? If you find yourself perpetually stopping and starting programs, committing but then going off the rails, or only taking action when you feel a surge of motivation and then losing steam and quitting…Then you may be missing what it actually takes to meet your health commitments and achieve weight loss. But we’re here to help! In today’s episode reshare, we’ll help you get clear and honest about what you want. Come listen! Before we start, if you haven’t yet downloaded our FREE guide, How to Build a Balanced Meal, make sure to grab a copy today. In this guide, you will learn what balanced eating actually means, how it’s possible to meet your nutritional and weight loss goals, and why the components of a balanced meal are so important for managing hunger and cravings on a weight loss journey. Click here to download . Key Points The questions you need to ask to get honest with yourself about weight loss Why your “why” may not be compelling enough How to take action once you know what you truly want Mentions Episode 183: How To Create A Life You Want (Women are Sleeping) Episode 182: Overcoming Fear Of Weight Loss Failure (Behind-The-Scenes Of A Coaching Call!) Episode 34: Small, Sustainable Changes: A Balance365 Journey With Danica Related Content Episode 188: Why You Avoid Being Honest About What You Eat Episode 180: 3 Sneaky Weight Loss Sabotagers Transcript Download a copy of this episode’s transcript here .…
Episode Overview Perimenopause and menopause often complicate women's health commitments. A community member recently asked, "How can I lose weight during perimenopause/menopause?" While we've explored this topic in depth in other podcast episodes (linked below), today we'll focus on key habits to help you navigate this challenging phase effectively. Let’s get started! If you want to learn sane and sensible nutrition and behavior change strategies that can carry you through menopause or any other transitional season of life, get on the waitlist to join Balance365. The doors open August 19th and those on the waitlist will receive access to spots 24 hours early AND we’ll waive the $199 enrollment fee. Visit www.balance365.com/waitlist Key Points Why perimenopause/menopause seem to interfere with our weight loss goals Some important, effective habits to focus on during this challenging time Mentions Episode 145: Menopause – Weight Loss, Wellness, And Learning To Thrive Episode 274: Menopause Nutrition Considerations with Dietitians Hillary Wright & Elizabeth Ward Related Content Episode 176: Sleep And Menopause With Coach Barbara Episode 315: 5 Supplements Every Woman Should Consider for Healthy Aging…
Episode Overview If you’ve ever asked someone what they’ve eaten to lose weight, or tried copying someone else’s diet in hopes that it would help you reach your own goals, we’ve got some hard-hitting advice for you today. In this podcast episode, Annie opens up about her weight loss strategy and explains why asking her what she ate is the wrong question! Instead, she shares HOW she ate and how these habits led to a 60-pound weight loss. It’s these kinds of actions that can actually help you reach your goals, too–so come listen! Don’t miss joining Balance365 in just a few weeks! Inside our program, you'll learn how to stop dieting, create a peaceful relationship with food, and still get the results you want. Doors open soon–August 19th! Get on the waitlist now ! Key Points Why Annie focuses more on how she eats as opposed to what she eats Her tricks to help her cut caloric intake while still feeling satisfied and full How she learned the importance of practicing consistency on the weekends Why small changes can make the biggest difference Related Content Episode 311: Q+A – What Made Weight Loss “Click” for Us? Episode 306: 3 Sneaky Reasons You’re Eating More Than You Think Transcript Download a copy of this episode’s transcript here .…
Episode Overview In today’s Q+A episode, we’re diving into a question from our audience: "What do you think about the concept of food noise?" This term has been gaining traction lately, though we’ve mainly referred to it as "food preoccupation" or "food fixation” on this podcast. Regardless of the name, the concept remains the same. Listen in to hear our insights and strategies for managing it! If you want more structure, guidance, and support like this in your weight loss journey, join our obligation-free waitlist ! You'll have the opportunity to enroll 24 hours before the general public, and we'll waive the $199 registration fee. Key Points What is food noise How food noise can happen Steps you can take to manage food noise Mentions Episode 140: The Minnesota Starvation Experiment: What You Need To Know Related Content Episode 322: How to Stay Motivated When You Have a Lot of Weight to Lose Episode 284: Ozempic – Should You or Shouldn’t You?…
Episode Overview Curious about intermittent fasting and its impact on fat loss? Internet searches for intermittent fasting peaked in early 2020 but are currently surging again, so we felt it was the perfect time to revisit and re-share this informative episode. Join us as we discuss the science and myths behind intermittent fasting, uncovering some surprising facts and addressing potential concerns. If you are looking for a simpler, more sustainable, and balanced way of eating, grab our free Balanced Meal Guide today. In this guide, you will learn what balanced eating actually means, how it’s possible to meet your nutritional and weight loss goals, and why the components of a balanced meal are so important for managing hunger and cravings on a weight loss journey Key Points What is intermittent fasting, and why is it so popular? Why intermittent fasting is different for men vs. women What the science shows (and doesn’t show) Jen’s experience with intermittent fasting Related Content Episode 165: How To Break Free From Emotional Eating Episode 308: 5 Reasons You Can’t. Stop. Eating! Episode 291: 6 Mindset Shifts That Make Nutritious Eating Easier Transcript Download a copy of this episode’s transcript here .…
Episode Overview Today we’re answering a question from one of our free Facebook Group members. She asked, “do I need to get my cortisol levels ‘in balance’ to lose weight?” Listen to our ‘off-the-cuff’ answer as we get real about the health and wellness industry’s history of pushing bogus hormone-related diet and supplement protocols. We also share what you can actually do if your stress levels are a barrier to you adhering to the habits you need for fat loss. Our life-changing nutrition coaching program opens soon! Join the waitlist to get access to spots 24 hours before the general public and we’ll waive the $199 registration fee. Lose weight without restrictions, supported by a team of coaches who care. Key Points Why “balancing your hormones” can be a major red flag issue Identifying how diet companies capitalize on what we don’t know How much cortisol actually impacts your weight loss goals Related Content Episode 317: Q+A – Trending Foods: Healthy or Just Hype? Episode 268: The Trade-Offs of Fast Weight Loss…
Episode Overview What is “normal eating”? Can you eat like a “normal person” and still lose weight? Our immersion in diet culture has made it difficult to recognize what normal eating behavior even looks like. In this week’s podcast, Jen addresses “normal eating” behaviors, and how you can integrate these behaviors within your own weight loss journey. Come listen to find out what our Balance365 members are doing to eat like normal people while still meeting their weight loss goals! Before you dive in, do not skip this opportunity to join the Balance365 Group Coaching waitlist today! Waitlisters will be the first to get a spot in the program when doors open in August, and we’ll also waive the enrollment fee! Key Points Find out what a “normal eater” is Learn what dieting behaviors disrupt normal eating patterns and how that harms us Discover common beliefs around our eating habits that hold us back Related Content Episode 306: 3 Sneaky Reasons You’re Eating More Than You Think Episode 319: Q+A – How Do I Overcome ‘Instant Gratification’ Eating? Transcript Download a copy of this episode's transcript here .…
Episode Overview As we age, many of us notice changes in our bodies and wonder if our struggles with fat loss are just a natural part of getting older. But is that really the case? Today, we answer that question. Despite all the natural shifts and hormonal changes happening in our bodies, the truth is that the key to fat loss comes down to one thing. Tune in to find out what it is! Before we dive into today’s topic, we want you to know that NOW is the perfect time to join the Balance365 waitlist ! The doors to our life-changing nutrition coaching program open again in August. By joining our obligation-free waitlist today you’ll get access to spots 24 hours before the general public and you’ll save $199! Don’t miss out! Key Points Why fat loss may feel more difficult as we age How to become more aware of body composition changes we can and cannot control Why focusing on behavior change is key Mentions Episode 168: Is It Really A Slow Metabolism? Episode 315: 5 Supplements Every Woman Should Consider for Healthy Aging Related Content Episode 293: Navigating Weight-Loss, GLP-1’s, and Midlife with Coach Liz Transcript Download a copy of this episode's transcript here .…
Episode Overview Do you often find yourself reaching for snacks throughout the day? If your snacking habits don’t align with your health goals or personal values, this episode is just for you! Today, we're exploring why snacking can feel so out of control, and sharing three proven strategies to help you cut down on snacking between meals. But before you hit play, do not miss out on joining us and our incredible community of women who are working toward lasting change with simpler and more effective strategies. Learn more about Balance365 Group Coaching right here , and join our zero-obligation waitlist to get priority access and save $199 when you join! Key Points Identifying our snacking habits Understanding cravings Why it’s important to address emotional eating How to start practicing new eating habits Mentions Episode 295: Coaching Sessions – Unpacking Annie’s Sweet Treat Cravings Episode 198: How Steph Kicked Dieting To The Curb And Lost 38lbs Related Content Episode 165: How To Break Free From Emotional Eating Episode 220: Q+A – Eating For Pleasure, Satiating Breakfasts, And Beating The Mid-Afternoon Slump Balanced Meal Guide Transcript Download a copy of this episode's transcript here .…
Episode Overview Today, we’re answering a listener's question that many of us can relate to: "How do I stop nighttime snacking? I do great all day, but when 8 PM hits, it's a non-stop munchfest until bed." In this episode we uncover the root causes of this common habit and discuss how shifting your nutrition choices earlier in the day can help set you up for success. If this episode strikes a chord, you need our Balanced Meal Guide . Learn how to create meals that will leave you feeling full and satisfied all day long. Key Points Understanding the root causes of nighttime eating How balanced meals can often help curb late-night eating Why emotional eating is often an indicator of stress, fatigue, etc Finding alternative ways to cope outside of food Mentions 3 Steps to End Emotional Eating Course Related Content Episode 159: Rebellious Eating – What It Is And How To Stop Episode 151: How To Curate Your Environment For Weight Loss Success Transcript Download a copy of this episode's transcript here .…
Episode Overview Today's episode tackles a challenging aspect of many weight loss journeys: staying consistent when the scale stops moving. It’s understandable you lose motivation when you feel your progress starting to stall; Jen and Annie have both been there—experiencing periods when their weight simply didn't change, or even increased. Today, you’ll learn how to shift your perspective on these challenging moments and keep moving forward, even when the scale stops moving. Join us as we explore strategies to sustain your efforts and stay motivated, even when you feel like quitting. After you listen to this episode, make sure you sign up for our free on-demand workshop, “Cut the Crap, How to Simplify Weight Loss and Get Out of Your Own Way.” This 3-part workshop covers some essential concepts around mindset and weight loss strategies that work for the long term. Register here! Key Points Why weight loss is non-linear How to manage expectations and shift your perspective How emotional eating and psychological barriers contribute Finding value in consistency over results Related Content Episode 322: How to Stay Motivated When You Have a Lot of Weight to Lose Episode 190: 3 Reasons Your Weight Loss Stalled Episode 290: Member Spotlight – How a Strong Commitment to the Process Helped Michelle Lose 40lbs Transcript Download a copy of this episode's transcript here .…
Episode Overview Today, Annie and Jen discuss strategies for dining out that will help more mindful, calorie-conscious decisions without sacrificing the joy. From the importance of menu foresight to customizing your meals to fit your nutritional needs, they cover it all. Whether you're a frequent or an occasional diner, this episode will help you navigate any menu while staying true to your health goals. Before we dive in, don't forget to grab our free download, "How to Build a Balanced Meal." This will help you understand balanced eating and how to manage hunger and satiety effectively. Get your copy now . Key Points Annie and Jen share their dining out habits Ways to customize orders Creating calorie awareness and managing portions Considering add-ons and sides Related Content Episode 246: Q+A – Struggling with “Bad Foods” and Self-Sabotage After Stepping on the Scale Episode 171: 4 Reasons You Don’t Have Self-Control Around Food Transcript Download a copy of this episode's transcript here .…
Episode Overview Summer is on its way in the Northern Hemisphere, and it's the perfect time to discuss strategies to stay on track with your weight loss momentum during this social, sunny season. We'll explore the key mindsets and actions that can create consistent progress for you, all in true Balance365 style. If you find yourself struggling to maintain consistency when the seasons change, don’t miss this episode! In this podcast, we highlight why summer is ideal for learning to create balanced meals. Our free guide, "How to Build a Balanced Meal," demystifies healthy eating, shows how to meet nutritional goals, and explains the importance of meal balance in managing hunger and cravings. Download it here! Key Points Jen and Annie’s health & wellness plans for the summer How to visualize a future version of you to set your personal goals Should you push forward or maintain your current efforts? Identifying advantages and barriers when seasons change Related Content Episode 221: 3 Ways Summer Sabotages Your Goals (And What You Can Do) Episode 235: 4 Tips to Get Back on Track Transcript Download a copy of this episode's transcript here .…
Episode Overview Today, we discuss how to manage overwhelm, particularly when starting something new. For some, frequent feelings of overwhelm signal a need for a shift in mindset and new strategies. While it's normal to feel swamped occasionally, the key to success lies in how you handle these moments. If you feel like overwhelm is a common theme in your life right now, this episode is for you. Join us as we explore strategies to help you problem-solve and keep moving forward. Let's get started! If you want us to answer your questions like this one, join our free Facebook group, Weight Loss Without Restriction . This is your chance to connect with us in real-time and work through your health and wellness questions. Key Points How often do you feel overwhelmed? The biggest contributors to feeling overwhelmed Tips to shift your mindset and develop new skills to manage your feelings Related Content Episode 262: Q+A – I’m Doing Everything But Still Not Losing Weight Episode 208: Q+A: Rewarding Yourself, Following Through, And The Power Of Small Changes Transcript Download a copy of this episode's transcript here .…
1 Episode 324: After the After - Roxanne is Crushing Life So Hard (Oh, and She’s Lost 50lbs, Too!) 53:46
Episode Overview It’s time for another special episode of our series, "After the After." We're catching up with Roxanne, a graduated Balance365 Coaching member who’s currently ‘crushing life.’ Despite the challenges she experienced after being on our podcast the first time, Roxanne exemplifies how the skills and habits she learned in our program have profoundly impacted her everyday life long after her departure and led to a 50lb weight loss. Listen now to gain some powerful insights on creating–and maintaining!–personal transformations. Don't miss this glimpse of what life can be like after Balance365! We hope you enjoy this episode. And if you’re ready to experience the power of Balance365 Group Coaching, now is the time to join! Enrollment is open until Sunday at midnight. Get all the details here ! Key Points Introducing Balance365 graduate Roxanne What’s happened since Roxanne was on the podcast in 2021 How Roxanne’s daughter has impacted her journey The changes Roxanne has made and sustained because of Balance365 Mentions Episode 158: Roxanne’s Mindset Shifts + 20lb Weight Loss Journey Related Content Episode 234: After the After – Karen’s Healthy Habits After Balance365 Episode 219: After the After – Kara’s Sustainably Healthy Life After Balance365 Transcript Download a copy of this episode's transcript here .…
Episode Overview Today, we address a question from a member about overcoming the feeling of tracking as "diety.” This is a term our community members use when a behavior feels restrictive and triggers an urge to rebel. This episode explores how perceptions of "diety" can vary and why certain habits may bring up uncomfortable feelings. The aim is not to label habit tracking as right or wrong but to discover your personal strategies that support achieving your goals while living a life you love. Enjoy! Before you press play, we want you to know that Balance365 Group Coaching is opening for enrollment May 13th! This transformative nutrition coaching program is designed to revolutionize your mindset and life. By joining our no-obligation waitlist , you'll gain early access to enrollment slots 24 hours before the public and we’ll also waive the $199 joining fee. We’re looking forward to welcoming you! Key Points What “diety” means The benefits of tracking Why some people feel turned off by tracking How to approach tracking in a non-restrictive way Related Content Episode 245: Tracking Weight, Steps, & Food: When It Hurts, When It Helps (Reshare) Episode 214: How To Stop Tracking Calories And Macros Without Losing Control Transcript Download a copy of this episode's transcript here .…
Episode Overview Hello everyone! Today Jen and Annie are discussing something they see many women struggling with: losing motivation when they have a lot of weight to lose. In today's episode, Jen and Annie explore the ups and downs of their weight loss journeys, sharing practical motivation strategies that can work for anyone. If you’re feeling discouraged or overwhelmed with your weight loss journey ahead, this is the episode for you! And if you’re ready to get life-changing results like Annie, then we’d love to work with you. Get on our waitlist for Balance365 Group Coaching and learn the approach, mindset, and process we take our members through to help them lose weight without restrictions. Key Points How to manage expectations The power of flexible goal-setting Why we should embrace small victories The importance of seeking tailored support The key role of staying connected to your why Related Content Episode 167: Annie’s Weight Loss Story — What She Would Have Done Differently Episode 288: 4 Shifts You NEED to Make for a Sustainable Weight Loss Journey Transcript Download a copy of this episode's transcript here .…
Episode Overview Recently we received an insightful question about less nutritious foods. This person asked, “how do you stop feeling like you have to restrict certain foods when it really is a less healthy choice?” We know this issue resonates for many, especially when they continually find themselves overeating certain foods. While many women recognize the damaging effects of labeling foods as 'good' or 'bad,’ they often struggle to put it into practice. In today’s quick Q+A episode, we’ll share why this issue is so common and offer you a fresh perspective to approach these foods (and how you think about them) in a healthier way. Enjoy! Reminder, our life-changing nutrition coaching program opens again on May 13th. Join our waitlist now to get access 24 hours before the general public, and we’ll waive the $199 registration fee. Key Points What does moralizing food mean? A better approach to how you can think about foods Some tips to put this approach into action Related Content Episode 241: Q+A – Weekend Overeating, Nutrition for Picky Eaters, and Overcoming Body Image Issues Balanced Meal Guide Transcript Download a copy of this episode's transcript here .…
Episode Overview Today, we’re sharing our go-to foods that provide maximum benefits with minimal fuss, allowing them to blend seamlessly into our daily lives. If you’ve been searching for some quick and easy ideas, these foods could be the game-changers you've been looking for. Listen now to discover our personal favorites and why adding them to your daily nutrition might just be the best decision you make today! FYI… Balance365 is opening for enrollment in less than a month! Discover comprehensive nutrition and behavior change coaching and get results that last. Join our obligation-free waitlist to secure your spot 24 hours before the general public, plus we'll waive the $199 registration fee. Sign up right here , and don't miss this opportunity to transform your mindset, daily decisions, and habits! Key Points What is an “ROI” food? Why it can be beneficial to find your own ROI foods Annie and Jen share their personal favorites Related Content Episode 292: How to Marry Convenience Foods with More Nutritious Eating Episode 242: How Annie Eats Without Cooking Transcript Download a copy of this episode's transcript here .…
Episode Overview Today, we're responding to a question that resonates with many of us: "How can I stop engaging in instant gratification eating behavior?" In the world of Balance365, we refer to this as ‘hitting the easy button' in our health and wellness commitments. It's a topic packed with insights, strategies, and real-life advice that you definitely won't want to miss. As you'll discover in this episode, having support from knowledgeable, professional, world-class coaches is KEY to getting where you want to go. Don't miss this opportunity to accelerate–and sustain!–your progress. Join our program on May 13th, by signing up for our waitlist now . You'll gain early access before we open to the public, and we'll even waive the $199 registration fee. See you on the other side! Key Points What is the ‘easy button’? Why do we often take the easy way out even when we’ve made commitments to ourselves? Jen and Annie share real-life strategies to stay committed to your goals Related Content Episode 259: 3 Reasons You Aren’t Keeping Your Health Commitments Episode 249: What is Self-Trust and Why Is It Important? Transcript Download a copy of this episode's transcript here .…
Episode Overview Today we’re discussing a silent epidemic affecting 30% of the population—lack of sleep. Amidst the hustle of daily life, many of us find ourselves trapped in a cycle of sacrificing sleep for late-night moments of leisure, a phenomenon known as Revenge Bedtime Procrastination. Listen to this episode to uncover the reasons behind this common self-sabotaging behavior and explore strategies to give ourselves “me time” while reclaiming the sleep our bodies desperately need! Enjoy! If this episode speaks to you, just wait until you work with us. Our program isn’t only about nutrition, it’s about dialing in the key habits required for you to thrive, feel healthy, and lose weight without restriction. Get your name on our no-strings-attached waitlist , and we'll waive the $199 registration fee. Let's make thriving your new norm! Key Points What is Revenge Bedtime Procrastination Why we’re so drawn to staying up late The impacts of lack of sleep What we can do to better manage our moments of “me time” Mentions Episode 295: Coaching Sessions – Unpacking Annie’s Sweet Treat Cravings Episode 217: 4 Reasons Why You’re Stuck Related Content Episode 128: How Sleep Impacts Fat Loss Episode 273: The Neuroscience of You: Understanding Your Brain with Dr. Chantel Prat Transcript Download a copy of this episode's transcript here .…
Episode Overview Welcome to another Q+A episode! Today's topic: trending foods! One of our listeners asked us about “fad foods” - are they healthy or just hype? Join us today to learn why we feel food trends skew our perception of what “healthy” really means and how you can sustainably level up your nutrition game for the long term without chasing every next best thing! Also, if you are interested in improving your nutrition habits and don’t know where to start, you can download our free Balanced Meal Guide right now . In this guide, we cover what balanced nutrition actually is and answer the question: “Can I really lose weight without restriction?” Hint: the answer is a resounding yes! Key Points Why trending foods are so popular Jen shares her take on fad foods What you can focus on for long-term health wins Related Content Episode 309: 4 Reasons You Struggle to Maintain Your Weight Loss Results Episode 238: New Here? How to Simplify Nutrition Transcript Download a copy of this episode's transcript here .…
Episode Overview Welcome back to another Q+A episode! Today, we’re answering the question from a community member who is experiencing a weight loss plateau. She asks: “What is your opinion on fat-free or low-fat foods?” As with any dietary advice, what is beneficial and appropriate depends on how it aligns with your individual goals. Listen now to learn how this can impact your journey! If you’re seeking more balance in your meals, we recommend downloading our free Balanced Meal Guide . This guide provides a detailed breakdown of how to create more balanced, satisfying meals and minimize your hunger and cravings. Download the guide today ! Key Points Some context behind our recommendations Are fat-free/low-fat foods a helpful tool or not? How you can determine negotiables and non-negotiables in your eating habits How to create satisfying swaps with an all-or-something mindset Mentions Balance365 Balanced Meal Guide Related Content Episode 245: Tracking Weight, Steps, & Food: When It Hurts, When It Helps (Reshare) Episode 177: Why Food Freedom Isn’t Working For You Transcript Download a copy of this episode's transcript here .…
Episode Overview Today, we’re celebrating the end of the year AND reaching our 300th episode! Join us as we look back on our highlights of the last hundred episodes. We’ll share our favorite clips and why they’ve been the most impactful for us. (Fun fact: we chose different clips for different reasons, both very personal to each of us!) Enjoy! If you’ve benefited from listening to our podcast, we’d LOVE if you would leave us a review on Apple podcasts. It helps boost our visibility, which means we can help support and empower more women like you! Key Points Jen and Annie share their favorite clips from the past 100 episodes Mentions Episode 274: Menopause Nutrition Considerations with Dietitians Hillary Wright & Elizabeth Ward Episode 243: Member Spotlight – How Erica Learned True Self Care (and Lost 75lbs!) Episode 269: How to Talk to Your Partner About Your Weight Loss Goals Episode 260: 5 Thoughts About Women and Weight Related Content Episode 200: You’ve Been Bingeing For A Month Straight… Now What (Reshare) Episode 252: Jen and Annie’s Highs and Lows of 2022 Episode 280: Personal + Professional Updates from Jen and Annie Transcript Download a copy of this episode's transcript here .…
Episode Overview It’s time for another Member Spotlight! Today, you’ll meet Michelle, a remarkable woman, mother of three, and dedicated oncology nurse from New Hampshire. Michelle's Balance365 journey started with a significant shift: learning to prioritize her needs amidst her demanding work and family life. Her journey has resulted in some incredible changes to her habits, which led to Michelle losing 30lbs. Tune in to gain a deeper understanding of Michelle's inspiring mindset shifts and the positive changes that have led to her living a life she loves. Enjoy! If you want to kickstart your weight loss journey, then it’s time to join Balance365. On January 22nd, our life-changing nutrition coaching program opens to the waitlist. Join the waitlist now for early access and save $199! Key Points Michelle shares her struggles as a COVID nurse with a newborn How Michelle learned to prioritize her self-care with Balance365 Michelle shares her astonishing mindset shifts and how she’s lost 30lbs Related Content Episode 290: Member Spotlight – How a Strong Commitment to the Process Helped Michelle Lose 40lbs Episode 209: 5 Mindset Shifts We See In Our Successful Members Episode 261: Member Spotlight – How Lorraine Joyfully and Peacefully Lost 30lbs Transcript Download a copy of this episode's transcript here .…
Episode Overview In today’s episode, Jen and Annie are talking about addressing recurring patterns in our lives, specifically the dreaded December hustle and all the stress that comes with it. If you’re someone who feels like December hits you like a tidal wave and you don’t come up for air until January, this episode is for you. Here's the thing: December returns every year. If we desire a different outcome, we have to commit to changing how we navigate it. Today’s episode is going to provide you with a practical perspective and framework for making mindful decisions during recurring high-stress times in your life. We understand that many of these commitments are important to you, and it is our philosophy that health and wellness should complement your life, not complicate it. So let’s dive in! If you have questions or feedback, drop us a DM on social media. Both Annie and Jen love chatting with the Balance365 community. You can find them both on Instagram. Annie is at @annie.brees , and Jen is at @msjennifercampbell . Key Points Identifying common annual patterns in our lives How to prepare and manage your habits during high-stress times Why it’s important to nail down your negotiables and non-negotiables Mentions Annie’s IG account, @annie.brees Jen’s IG account, @msjennifercampbell Related Content Episode 197: 5 Holiday Weight Gain Facts You Need To Know Episode 146: Can You Lose Weight During The Holidays? Transcript Download a copy of this episode's transcript here .…
Episode Overview In today’s bite-sized episode, Jen offers a special glimpse into one of her Grown Ass Woman emails, focusing on how she manages her negative body image thoughts. Join her as she shares a heartfelt recounting of a very challenging body image day, and what she did to overcome it. Listen for powerful insights into your own path towards self-acceptance and self-compassion. Don’t miss out on Annie and Jen’s future personal narratives, lessons learned, and reflections inside the Grown Ass Woman newsletter. Subscribe right here: www.balance365.com/email. Key Points Jen shares her recent experience with a bad body image day What caused her to feel bad that day How to manage negative body thoughts Related Content Episode 240: Control vs. Trust—A Grown Ass Woman Email Sneak Peek Episode 252: Jen and Annie’s Highs and Lows of 2022 Transcript Download a copy of this episode's transcript here .…
1 Episode 296: Member Spotlight - Allison’s Accountability Epiphanies + 30lb Weight Loss with Balance365 45:16
Episode Overview Meet Allison, a 51-year-old woman who, like many of our listeners, struggled with diets for most of her adult life. However, when she joined Balance365, everything changed. She realized she could achieve weight loss without restrictive diets but it would require her to take radical responsibility for her thoughts, feelings, and actions. Now Allison embodies a sense of control, confidence, and inner peace, and she’s lost 30lbs, too! Listen now to learn about her inspiring journey to reshape her relationship with food, health, and weight loss. In this episode, you might discover some striking similarities to your own experience. And just like Allison, you too could find the transformation you’re looking for inside Balance365. Want to find out? We open our doors in the New Year. Click here to join our waitlist so you don’t miss out on this life-changing opportunity! Key Points Allison shares her history of restrictive dieting Why Allison chose to join Balance365 Allison shares some epiphanies from inside Balance365 that helped her start making healthier decisions, including reducing her alcohol consumption Related Content Episode 213: How Meg Gave Herself The Gift Of Health At 50 Episode 166: How Jasmine Learned To Trust In Herself + Her 50lb Weight Loss Story Transcript Download a copy of this episode's transcript here .…
Episode Overview Welcome back to another Balance365 coaching session! This time, Annie is in the spotlight to discuss a recent surge in her sweet treat consumption. Annie started this session unsure if this was even something she wanted to change– and that’s fine! This is a stage of change called ambivalence, and it’s where many of our members are when seeking coaching. In today’s session, Annie asked Jen to help her figure out why she was indulging more frequently and if she wanted to do anything about it. Join Annie and Jen for this candid chat as they hone in on Annie’s cravings and uncover what's really going on underneath it all. For the past couple of weeks, we’ve given you a small taste of what it’s like inside Balance365. Loving what you hear? Don’t miss your chance to work with us! Get your name on our waitlist today so you can access your spot 24 hours early and save $199. Key Points Annie shares her current struggle with sweets Digging into why Annie is struggling with her cravings Jen offers some tools and strategies for Annie to use in the evenings Mentions Episode 294: Coaching Sessions – Exploring Jen’s Resistance to Exercise Related Content Episode 282: 3 Essential Body Image Shifts with Therapist Phaedra Gryz Episode 271: How Emily Slowed Down, Healed Her Relationship with Food, and Lost 40lbs Transcript Download a copy of this episode’s transcript here .…
Episode Overview We’re sharing an incredibly emotional and powerful episode today. Like many of our members, Jen has struggled with knowing what she needs to do, and still not doing it. For the last six months she’s been in a start-and-stop cycle with her strength training habit. In this episode, Annie coaches Jen on her resistance, precisely like we do inside Balance365 Coaching. Join Annie and Jen as they examine the underlying causes of Jen’s resistance to exercise, shed light on why it always seems to creep back in, and create a strategic, realistic plan to support Jen in achieving her fitness goals. If you’re tired of feeling stuck in similar cycles, you need to experience the power of Balance365 Coaching. Join the waitlist here so you don’t miss out the next time our doors open. Adding your name unlocks access to our program 24 hours before the general public, AND we’ll waive the registration fee. We’ll see you on the other side! Key Points Jens’ challenging history with strength training Breaking down why Jen feels resistant to exercise Annie helps Jen come up with a plan to keep moving toward her goals Related Content Episode 182: Overcoming Fear Of Weight Loss Failure (Behind-The-Scenes Of A Coaching Call!) Episode 235: 4 Tips to Get Back on Track Transcript Download a copy of this episode’s transcript here .…
Episode Overview Meet Liz Applegate, a member-turned-coach at Balance365. Like many women we meet, Liz felt she had achieved a lot in her life (and was even a coach herself) but still struggled to make progress with her health and wellness commitments. When she found Balance365 everything changed. Liz’s story is a powerful testament to how coaching can transform lives. In this episode, you’ll hear Liz's insights on aging and midlife, as well as her experience as a former member and now a coach. You’ll also learn the key to her to losing 50lbs and how she integrated weight loss medications into her path to success. We hope you love listening to Liz’s story and are as inspired as we are. And when you’re ready for world-class nutrition and wellness coaching from women who have been where you are, get on our waitlist . Enrollment to Balance365 opens January 22nd. See you there! Key Points Learn about Liz and her take on aging in today’s culture Why Liz joined Balance365 coaching Liz’s experience with GLP-1 weight loss medication How Liz’s life has changed since becoming a member and a coach Mentions Liz’s Midlife Shmidlife podcast Cut the Crap workshop Related Content Episode 274: Menopause Nutrition Considerations with Dietitians Hillary Wright & Elizabeth Ward Episode 145: Menopause – Weight Loss, Wellness, And Learning To Thrive Transcript Download a copy of this episode’s transcript here .…
Episode Overview Following last week's theme of simplifying nutritious eating, we’re back on the podcast this week to discuss how to marry convenience foods with more nutritious choices. Last week, we challenged the belief that healthy eating requires meals to be prepared from scratch. Today we're debunking that myth further. Whether you cook regularly like Jen or would prefer to skip the kitchen like Annie, time is of the essence for us all. Tune in as we reveal our strategies for embracing nutritious foods without spending endless hours in the kitchen. If you're new to Balance365 and curious about the buzz around balanced meals, grab our free balanced plate guide. Click here to discover what it's all about ! Key Points Where people struggle the most Improving food vs. improving meals Our favorite tips and tricks to quickly build balanced plates Mentions Episode 291: 6 Mindset Shifts That Make Nutritious Eating Easier Related Content Episode 151: How To Curate Your Environment For Weight Loss Success Episode 275: 5 Tips to Get More Fruits and Vegetables into Your Diet Transcript Download a copy of this episode’s transcript here .…
Episode Overview Nutritious eating requires effort. But so often the way people think about nutritious eating is exactly what’s standing in their way of them following through with their commitment to do it. In today’s episode, Annie and Jen discuss the link between a person’s mindset and their ability to consistently eat more nutritiously. Get ready to explore the power of transforming your thoughts, feelings, and beliefs about healthy eating. Before you hit play, make sure to register for our free, on-demand workshop, Cut the Crap: How to Simplify Weight Loss and Get Out of Your Own Way! This workshop has changed how thousands of women around the world approach health, wellness, and weight loss. Register here to get started . Key Points What is nutritious eating? What holds people back from eating more nutritiously? The key mindset shifts that can lead to more nutritious eating Related Content Episode 151: How To Curate Your Environment For Weight Loss Success Episode 275: 5 Tips to Get More Fruits and Vegetables into Your Diet Transcript Download a copy of this episode’s transcript here .…
1 Episode 290: Member Spotlight - How a Strong Commitment to the Process Helped Michelle Lose 40lbs 42:05
Episode Overview “Why can I write a thesis and graduate with a Master's degree, but I can’t pass on chocolate?” Meet Michelle Onaka, a thriving financial coach from Oregon, who couldn’t understand how she could accomplish so much, yet still feel powerless against chocolate. Many women are asking themselves the same question every day. In this episode, Michelle shares her journey of overcoming overeating, learning the 'why' behind her nutrition habits, and developing the ability to listen to her body's needs. She goes into detail about her process and emphasizes the benefits of working through her resistance to change with a Balance365 coach. She’s lost 40lbs, too! If you’re ready to break through your barriers to change like Michelle did, you’re in luck. Balance365 opens just three times per year and right now is one of those times. Join now before enrollment ends on Friday! Key Points What life was like for Michelle before Balance365 Why Michelle went from the self-led course to coaching How coaching has drastically changed her habits and her mindset Related Content Episode 228: Member Spotlight—Jessica’s Powerful Shift from Perfectionism to Consistency and Balance Episode 144: Member Spotlight: Erin’s 38lbs Weight Loss + Freedom From Diets Forever Transcript Download a copy of this episode’s transcript here .…
Episode Overview Today we're answering a frequently asked question: "How is Balance365 different from Intuitive Eating?" There are some similarities but there are also some important distinctions. In this episode, we’ll discuss the three primary differences that set the Balance365 philosophy apart from Intuitive Eating. Get ready to explore the complexities, gain some valuable insights into each approach, and learn what feels like a better fit for you! If you’ve gained value from our podcast, just wait until you work with us! The waitlist for Balance365 Coaching is now open. Sign up right here to add your name to our obligation-free waitlist. You’ll get access to spots 24 hours before the general public and we’ll waive the $199 join fee! Key Points A brief history of Intuitive Eating Intuitive Eating vs. eating intuitively The differences between Balance365 and Intuitive Eating Mentions Intuitive Eating: A Revolutionary Anti-Diet Approach Related Content Episode 253: Katie’s Shift From Intuitive Eating to Balance365, Finding Peace, & Losing 20lbs Episode 177: Why Food Freedom Isn’t Working For You Transcript Download a copy of this episode’s transcript here .…
Episode Overview Today, in this solo episode, Annie reflects on why she believes she’s been successful with long-term weight loss while so many others have not. This episode isn't just about weight loss; it's about a journey of personal growth that includes mindset shifts, emotional well-being, and daily habits. As someone who has experienced both struggles and triumphs in behavior change, Annie shares her four most powerful strategies, giving you the keys to unlock real and lasting change. By the end of this episode, you'll be equipped with practical tools to embark on your own transformational path. Let's dive in together to start embracing positive changes in every aspect of your life. Key Points How Annie learned to stop lying to herself More information vs. more action Acknowledging personal responsibility and consequences Why letting time pass is so important Related Content Episode 192: Weight Loss Nutrition: How Annie Lost 60lbs Episode 115: Cut The Crap: Tough Love From Jen & Annie Transcript Download a copy of this episode’s transcript here .…
Episode Overview When you quit dieting, you may find yourself riding waves of emotions you didn’t expect. In today’s solo podcast episode, Jen is going to discuss the experience so many women are having: riding waves of grief. We know this sounds dramatic, but letting go of fad diets and the belief there is a “fast fix” for your struggles means challenging a whole belief system. It can come with leaving behind a whole community or letting go of part of your identity. It can be socially isolating. It can leave you feeling confused and lost. We made this episode so you’ll know you’re not alone. We've been there, and many of our members have, too. Come explore this journey with us. If you want to continue this journey together, Balance365 opens in under 3 weeks! Join our waitlist today and you'll receive access to spots 24 hours before the general public, plus we'll waive the $199 join fee. Secure your waitlist spot today! Key Points About the 5 stages of grief Jen’s process of quitting dieting How Jen navigated each stage Related Content Episode 131: What To Expect When You Quit Dieting Episode 264: 5 Common Beginner Mistakes Transcript Download a copy of this episode’s transcript here .…
Episode Overview In today’s Member Spotlight, we’re introducing you to Tee, an inspiring and unforgettable New Zealander who wears many hats – physiotherapist, CrossFit coach, and mother of two. Although she’s experienced success in many areas of her life, Tee had been struggling with her nutrition habits and mastering behavior change for the long haul… Until she found us! Tune in as Tee unveils her transformative journey, sharing how Balance365 was the ‘missing piece’ that cleared the fog of confusion surrounding nutrition, habits, and sustainable fat loss for her. She’s now down 18kg (that's 40lbs for our North American listeners!) and is enjoying a much kinder, healthier, and balanced life. Enjoy! If Tee's story resonates with you, just wait until you work with us! Enroll in Balance365 right now to start your journey toward health, wellness, and food freedom. Key Points Tee’s history with diets Why Tee chose to join Balance365 How her mindset has changed since she joined, and how that now shapes her life Annie and Jen share why they think Tee has been so successful Related Content Episode 290: Member Spotlight – How a Strong Commitment to the Process Helped Michelle Lose 40lbs Episode 279: How Stefanie Overcame Her ‘Free for All’ with Food and Lost 55lbs with Balance365 Transcript Download a copy of this episode's transcript here .…
Episode Overview Our favorite menopause nutrition duo is back! This time, Registered Dietitians and authors Elizabeth Ward and Hillary Wright are here to discuss what supplements every aging woman should consider. We love Liz and Hillary, as they are passionate about dispelling menopause misconceptions and offer evidence-based nutrition and wellness support with a delightful touch of humor. We know you’re going to love them as much as we do! If you love our podcast, just wait until you work with us! Balance365 Coaching opens on March 18th. Add your name to our obligation-free waitlist to get access to spots 24 hours before the general public, and we’ll waive the $199 join fee! Key Points Elizabeth Ward and Hillary Wright share some of their history The importance of supplementation for the aging population The top five supplements every aging woman could benefit from Mentions Menopause Diet Plan book The Body on Menopause: What You Need to Know Related Content Episode 274: Menopause Nutrition Considerations with Dietitians Hillary Wright & Elizabeth Ward Episode 176: Sleep And Menopause With Coach Barbara Transcript Download a copy of this episode's transcript here .…
1 Episode 314: 5 Supplements Every Woman Should Consider for General Health 1:09:15
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1:09:15Episode Overview In this episode, we’re chatting with our favorite dietitian, Chelsey Love. Joining us from Alberta, Canada, Chelsey has been a practicing Registered Dietitian since 2010. She is a regular inside Balance365 and hosts a coaching call each month called, ‘Ask a Dietitan.’ Join us today as Chelsey shares her top five supplements that every woman should consider, aligning with our shared commitment to simple, realistic, and sustainable nutrition. Enjoy! In less than two weeks, the doors to our life-changing nutrition coaching program open for enrollment. Add your name to the waitlist , and you’ll have access to spots 24 hours before the general public. Key Points About Chelsey, Balance365’s registered dietitian Where to focus instead of wasting your time and money on random supplements The five supplements that every woman could find beneficial Mentions Examine Protein Calculator Episode 276: 5 Tips to Get More Protein into Your Diet Related Content Episode 123: Gut Health 101: Myths, Truths And Everything In Between Episode 238: New Here? How to Simplify Nutrition Transcript Download a copy of this episode's transcript here .…
Episode Overview Have you ever wondered how many meals a day is best for fat loss? In today’s bite-sized Q+A, we answer this common question as well as have a discussion about what actually works for fat loss, for the long term. If you’re ready to start your weight loss journey, do not miss your chance to join Balance365 Coaching! We open enrollment on March 18th. Join the waitlist now and get priority access before the general public AND save $199! Key Points Does meal frequency matter for fat loss? What actually works for fat loss in the long term Related Content Episode 303: Q+A – Why Can’t I Stop Thinking About Food? Episode 262: Q+A – I’m Doing Everything But Still Not Losing Weight Transcript Download a copy of this episode's transcript here .…
Episode Overview If you’ve ever felt a pang of guilt when serving fast food to your kids, this episode is for you. Jen and Annie are both mothers and understand the importance of unpacking the complicated topics of parenting, nutrition, and perfectionism. Join us to explore this topic in today’s Q+A episode, finding peace with your family’s food choices. Don’t forget to join us in our free Facebook group where we answer your questions live! Find us here: Weight Loss Without Restriction . Key Points Annie and Jen share their past struggles with feeding their family fast food How to work through feelings of guilt and shame about fast food Related Content Episode 301: Q+A – Our Opinion of Fat-Free Foods Episode 246: Q+A – Struggling with “Bad Foods” and Self-Sabotage After Stepping on the Scale Transcript Download a copy of this episode's transcript here .…
Episode Overview In this clip from a live Q+A, we answer a question from a woman in our audience who asked, “what made weight loss ‘click’ for each of you?” This is a topic we could talk about for hours, but in this short episode, we list the most influential shifts that impacted each of our weight loss journeys. Will we share something that will “click” for you, too? Listen to find out! If you want us to answer your burning questions, join our free Facebook group, Weight Loss Without Restriction . Key Points Annie shares how she had to learn how to behave in a way that was trustworthy Jen shares how she stopped seeing exercise and nutrition as weight-loss tools How Jen and Annies’ stories are two ends of a spectrum when it comes to self-care Mentions Weight Loss Without Restriction Facebook Group Related Content Episode 262: Q+A – I’m Doing Everything But Still Not Losing Weight Episode 257: Q+A – Untangling the Relationship Between Exercise and Calories Transcript Download a copy of this episode's transcript here .…
Episode Overview We’ve got a super quick Q+A for you today that we know it'll strike a chord. “How can I stop saying ‘screw it’ when I don’t feel like following through?” Tune in to listen and learn what the “screw-its” are, why they tend to happen, and what you can do to manage them! If you found today's discussion intriguing, consider joining us in our free Facebook group. There, we host live Q+As to answer your burning questions just like this one, and more! Join us here ! We can’t wait to see you in the next live! Key Points What are the “screw-its” The most common reasons people experience the “screw-it” mentality How to manage your thoughts when you don’t feel like following through Related Content Episode 187: 3 Ways to Shift Your Mindset for Better Weight Loss Episode 256: Q+A – Weight Loss Answer Seekers vs. Problem Solvers Transcript Download a copy of this episode's transcript here .…
Episode Overview In today’s episode, we share four common reasons we see women struggle to maintain their weight loss results. From abrupt stops to slow fades in lifestyle changes, we'll uncover why so many people experience weight rebounds. Join us to learn about the challenges of maintaining results. It's not just about weight loss but building a sustainable, flexible approach. Let's dive in! But, before you hit play–for more support, accountability, and camaraderie on your journey, make sure you join the waitlist to enroll in Balance365 Coaching. You’ll be the first to be notified when we open our doors again. Join the waitlist today ! Key Points Physiological vs. psychological rebound Why weight loss is a forever journey How stress and emotional eating can change your weight trajectory What successful people who maintain their weight are doing Mentions Episode 140: The Minnesota Starvation Experiment: What You Need To Know Related Content Episode 288: 4 Shifts You NEED to Make for a Sustainable Weight Loss Journey Episode 259: 3 Reasons You Aren’t Keeping Your Health Commitments Transcript Download a copy of this episode's transcript here .…
Episode Overview If you’ve ever asked yourself, “Why can't I stop eating?” you’re not alone! This is one of the most common questions we receive from our audience and our members. Join us in this episode as we explore the top five reasons behind this common concern and present some practical solutions to help you regain control. If you’re ready to end your own overeating cycles, enrollment to Balance365 Coaching is OPEN NOW. Balance365 Coaching is a comprehensive, evidence-based nutrition and behavior-change program that will change your life in the best possible way. Don’t wait. Grab your spot now! We cannot wait to show you what’s possible. Key Points A disclaimer for binge eating disorder Jen and Annie identify the top 5 reasons that lead to overeating Proven strategies to help manage overeating Mentions Secrets from the Eating Lab Related Content Episode 277: 5 Tips to Reduce Emotional Eating Episode 154: How Stress Impacts Your Weight Transcript Download a copy of this episode's transcript here .…
Episode Overview “I thought that people were born knowing how to do it, and I was broken.” Meet Yvette, who, like many of our members, has faced lifelong struggles with weight and dieting. She could never understand people who could stop eating when they were full. But then… She found us! As you’ll soon hear, so much has changed for Yvette since joining Balance365. She’s developed the skills she needs to tune into her own needs, which helped her achieve some remarkable results. She’s lowered her blood pressure, created a sustainable exercise routine, increased her confidence, and lost 30lbs. Notably, she accomplished all of this with what she calls "C-level work.” Listen now to learn how this all-or-something mindset has shifted everything for Yvette (and it can for you, too!) PS–If you want results like Yvette's, get on our waitlist ! The doors open to coaching in just a FEW DAYS! You’ll get priority access on January 22nd and save $$. That’s a win-win! Key Points Yvette’s history with diets since childhood Why Balance365 has been different for her than any other program What is C-level work, and why it worked for Yvette Yvette shares her impressive health and wellness results Related Content Episode 299: How Redefining Self Care Led to Michelle Losing 30lbs Episode 228: Member Spotlight—Jessica’s Powerful Shift from Perfectionism to Consistency and Balance Transcript Download a copy of this episode's transcript here .…
Episode Overview Despite our best intentions, humans are notorious for underestimating how much we eat. It’s not necessarily bad; just human nature. And we know this can be especially frustrating for those of us who are on a weight loss journey, but the scale refuses to budge. The reality is that accurately assessing our food intake can be challenging for a number of reasons. Join us as we bring some awareness to the top three sneaky reasons we see our members underreporting what they eat, so you can make some of your own adjustments as needed! On that note, our life-changing nutrition coaching program opens in just a few days. Add your name to the waitlist and you’ll have access to spots 24 hours before the general public. Join the waitlist right here . Key Points Why it can be helpful to create more awareness around our eating habits The main three reasons why we underreport eating How to make adjustments to your eating habits for better awareness Related Content Episode 301: Q+A – Our Opinion of Fat-Free Foods Episode 157: Can I Lose Weight While Eating Like A Normal Person? Transcript Download a copy of this episode's transcript here .…
Episode Overview Welcome, Balance365ers, to the start of a promising new year in 2024! As you know, the New Year is often full of profound reflections and setting intentions for change. Some of you might find yourselves at a crossroads, realizing you’re still in the exact same place today as you were a year ago… Ouch. Yep, time flies, and it's a bit of a reality check. But don’t despair. In this episode, we offer a fresh perspective and introduce a valuable framework to guide you towards your desired changes. Listen now to learn why change hasn’t been possible for you and exactly how to implement new and sustainable strategies so you won’t be saying the same thing again a year from now. Change is possible. If you're ready for a mindset, nutrition and health transformation, the time is now! Enrollment to Balance365 opens on January 22nd. Add your name to the waitlist and you’ll have access to spots 24 hours before the general public AND you’ll save $199. Click the link in our show notes or visit www.balance365.com/waitlist. Key Points The fresh start effect The stages of change and identifying where you are How to reflect and make a realistic plan to improve Jen and Annie share their own goals for the new year Related Content Episode 199: 4 Alternatives To Dieting After The Holidays Episode 251: 4 Considerations if You Have Weight Loss Goals in 2023 Transcript Download a copy of this episode's transcript here .…
1 Episode 304: How to Create a Life You Want (Reshare) 1:02:00
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1:02:00Episode Overview Today we’re bringing back an incredibly popular episode that deserves your attention, even if you’ve heard it before. Do you ever feel like you’re sleepwalking through your life? We work with so many women who don’t know what they want or why they want it. They are subconsciously going through the motions of life, pursuing what they “should” want - not what they actually want. In this reshared episode, we provide you with some tough questions to ask yourself so you can start defining what it is you truly want so you can go out and get it for yourself. Come listen, and don’t forget the tissues. If you’re moved by this episode and considering making some changes to live a life you WANT, get on our waitlist now . Our world-class coaches are ready and waiting to help you get there! Don’t wait! Coaching opens to the waitlist in January. We’ll see you on the other side. Key Points What it means to say “women are sleeping” Common signs that someone is asleep How Jen and Annie discovered when they were asleep Ways you can close the divide between where you are and who you want to be Mentions Women Who Run with Wolves, by Clarissa Pinkola Estés Untamed, by Glennon Doyle Related Content Episode 236: Divorce, Dating, and Body Image Episode 94: Does Losing Weight Make You A Bad Feminist? With Maggie Anderson Transcript Download a copy of this episode's transcript here .…
Episode Overview Today, we’re tackling a fantastic question from one of our listeners: "Why do I think about food all day?" In this short episode, we get right to the point. We break down the four most common reasons why we see women caught in an endless loop of food thoughts and how to break free. Enjoy! If you love our Q+As, just wait until you work with us! Join our waitlist today to get personalized coaching from our world-class coaches. Enrollment opens soon! Sign up here . Key Points Annie and Jen share their experiences of obsessively thinking about food Four main reasons why women can’t stop thinking about food and what to do about it Related Content Episode 178: Three Reasons You Can’t Eat Just One Episode 140: The Minnesota Starvation Experiment: What You Need To Know Balanced Meal Guide Transcript Download a copy of this episode's transcript here .…
Episode Overview Today we’re answering a question from an insightful and honest listener that we know will feel relatable. She asked us why does she continually return to a weight loss program that’s NEVER produced any long-term results for her. Our surprising answer? Tune in to find out! If you’re tired of the endless cycle of dieting and ready to cut through the BS, don't miss our FREE 3-part series, "Cut the Crap: How to Simplify Weight Loss and Get Out of Your Own Way." Learn why overcomplicated perfectionist diet plans are killing your results. Register here for free . Key Points The appeal of weight loss programs, even when they fail us Why we get caught up in the cycle How to break free from diet failure after diet failure Related Content Episode 203: The Difference Between Diets And Habits Episode 194: How Nancy Ditched Dieting And Lost 40lbs With Balance365 Transcript Download a copy of this episode's transcript here .…
Episode Overview Meet Emily, a relationship coach, podcaster, and divorced mom of three with a heart of gold. After feeling powerless to food and emotional eating most of her life, Emily decided it was time to ditch the fad diets and join Balance365. In today’s podcast episode, she shares how she’s lost 40lbs by learning to slow down and get to the root of her nutritional patterns. And if that’s not enough, Emily did all this while dealing with the emotional rollercoaster of giving birth and getting divorced… During a pandemic. She’s one inspiring woman! Don’t miss this episode! If you can relate to Emily’s struggles with food, fitness and dieting, then you’re in luck! Balance365 is open for enrollment RIGHT NOW. Start changing the trajectory of your health, wellness, and weight by joining us today ! Key Points What Emily’s life was like before joining Balance365 Coaching How her mindset has changed during her journey How she feels about her life now as a divorced mom of three Mentions Good Girls Get Divorced Podcast Related Content Episode 250: Member Spotlight – How Jeannette Overcame Perfectionism and Lost 40lbs Episode 126: Member Spotlight: Experiencing Weight Loss By Honoring Her Body Transcript Download a copy of this episode’s transcript here .…
Episode Overview When it comes to fat loss, there are many reasons women find themselves stuck. Fear of failure, overwhelmed by information, and self-sabotage are just a few. All of these issues can be solved with the ONE THING we’re talking about in our podcast today. Join us for this simple, short episode to find out exactly what it is and if it’s the missing piece to your own fat loss puzzle. But before you go, we have an announcement! Our long-time listeners will be ecstatic because after a four-year hiatus, our Power Bowl Challenge IS BACK! Join us for a chance to discover mouth-watering recipes, connect with the community, and learn how to create delicious balanced bowls that will keep you full and fueled for hours! Don't hesitate – register now to secure your spot! Key Points Where women get stuck most often The one key thing they’re missing in their fat loss journey Related Content Episode 262: Q+A – I’m Doing Everything But Still Not Losing Weight Episode 201: You Want Weight Loss, But Can’t Get Results. Here’s Why. Episode 135: You Know What To Do… Why Don’t You Do It? Transcript Download a copy of this episode’s transcript here .…
Episode Overview Your partner has a profound impact on your behavior change journey, whether you're dating, married, cohabiting, or living apart. We understand you want to be seen, heard, and supported. Unfortunately, body and weight shame, as well as repeated failed attempts to make change, can create challenges when it comes to communicating your needs to your partner. As a result, many women feel alone in their pursuit of a healthier lifestyle. But you don't have to do it alone. We know from personal and professional experience that these conversations can feel vulnerable, but in today's episode, we'll provide you with practical tips to help encourage and strengthen your connection with your partner. As you prepare to listen to this episode, we have exciting news to share! Our highly-anticipated Power Bowl Challenge is just around the corner! In a few weeks, you'll have the chance to explore new recipes, meet like-minded people, and learn how to create delicious, high-protein, high-fiber meals that will satisfy your hunger and help you stay on track with your health goals! Don't miss out – sign up today ! Key Points The benefits of sharing your goals with your partner Why it’s important to get clear on what you want/need What to consider when asking for support How to communicate effectively with your partner Related Content Episode 174: How Weight Loss Can Impact Marriage And Partnerships Episode 216: How To Ask For What You Need Without Apology (Reshare) Transcript Download a copy of this episode’s transcript here .…
Episode Overview You want weight loss, fast. And we’re not here today to criticize that. No one truly desires slow results, we get it. So let’s instead talk about the trade-offs of fast weight loss, and how to mitigate the associated risks. Before you dive into this episode, we want you to know we’re hosting our always-popular Power Bowl Challenge in just a few weeks! Not only will you get some amazing recipes and make some new friends, but you’ll also learn how simple it can be to put together high-protein, high-fiber, super-satisfying meals to help you reach your goals! Register right here . Key Points The four questions you need to ask yourself when pursuing weight loss The consequences of rapid weight loss How to physically and psychologically navigate weight loss safely Mentions Bill Campbell, PhD on Instagram Related Content Episode 224: Q+A – Dining Out Tips, Weight Loss Without Restriction, and the Optimal Number of Healthy Habits to Build at a Time Episode 201: You Want Weight Loss, But Can’t Get Results. Here’s Why. Transcript Download a copy of this episode’s transcript here .…
Episode Overview Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist Vienna Pharaon joins us today on the podcast to celebrate the release of her new book, The Origins of You. We discuss how our family of origin shapes who we are, five wounds people may struggle with, and discuss body image and appearance-related shame. If you love what you hear today, don’t forget we’re opening our doors for coaching in May! Get your name on the waitlist now! You’ll get access to spots 24 hours before we open to the public and we’ll waive your enrollment fee. Key Points How unhealed pain from childhood shapes us as adults The five wounds that people can struggle with The dysfunction patterns that come from unresolved wounds Mentions The Origins of You by Vienna Pharaon Related Content Episode 29: A Therapist’s Advice on Asking For What You Need Episode 174: How Weight Loss Can Impact Marriage And Partnerships Episode 160: When You Feel Triggered By Your Partner’s Diet Or Weight Loss Transcript Download a copy of this episode’s transcript here .…
Episode Overview Happy Wednesday! We’re back today with a great question from a member in the Balance365 community. She asks, “How do you actually love, or at least accept where you’re at, while trying to improve?” Women have been asking us this question for as long as Balance365 has been in existence. While it may feel like you have to choose one or the other, we offer a third option: working on self-love and change… together! If you loved this Q+A, don’t forget to join us in our free Facebook group! Key Points Why we think body acceptance and weight loss goals cannot exist together Why we think self-love and change *must* exist together for long-term success How to approach your weight loss journey from a place of self-acceptance Related Content Episode 137: Member Spotlight: How Megan Lost 45lbs With Balanced Nutrition + Self Care Episode 189: How Muryn Lost 30 lbs And Built Her Best Life Transcript Download a copy of this episode’s transcript here .…
Episode Overview “I can keep commitments to people I care about, but I struggle to do the same for myself.” We hear this from so many of our new Balance365 members. That’s why, in this short but powerful episode, we’re going to get to the heart of the issue of why you lack follow through. This episode has the power to shift everything you know about one of the most important relationships you will ever have: the one you have with yourself. Don’t miss it! Key Points Identifying what you need in a trusting relationship Why these same principles apply to the relationship you have with yourself How to repair trust in yourself Mentions Episode 249: What is Self-Trust and Why Is It Important? Related Content Episode 243: Member Spotlight – How Erica Learned True Self Care (and Lost 75lbs!) Episode 193: Why Can’t I Control Myself Around Carbs? Transcript Download a copy of this episode’s transcript here .…
Episode Overview Following the theme from last week’s beginner mindset episode, we’re sharing five beginner mistakes today! We often see our new Balance365 members making these mistakes, but you may find yourself making these mistakes with whatever journey or process you’re working on. Honestly, mistakes are all just part of the process. By sharing these common mistakes with you, we hope you will be able to… 1) Learn how to avoid them yourself. 2) Prepare yourself to join Balance365 in May! 😉 Yes, that’s right: Balance365 is opening for enrollment in MAY! Get on our waitlist and secure your spot to join before we open to the public right here! Key Points Getting to the heart of your issues. Are you over-committing? Why relying on motivation doesn’t work. Why you’re quitting. How to know when you need help. Related Content Episode 263: The Importance of a Beginner’s Mindset Episode 238: New Here? How to Simplify Nutrition Transcript Download a copy of this episode’s transcript here .…
Episode Overview Today we’re going to be talking about the importance of cultivating a beginner’s mindset *even* when you think you’re an expert at something. This is a HUGE shift that can transform your behavior change journey. It might even be the key to getting yourself unstuck and on a path you’re excited about! Both Jen and Annie have had to examine this area recently and know this is a crucial topic that women need to hear. Let’s do this! On that note, what if you stopped passively listening to this podcast, believing that you “should” be able to do this on your own? Step into the arena with us! Get the structure, support, and accountability you need and deserve. Our coaching program opens up for enrollment again in May, and we would love to see you there. Hop on the waitlist right now . Key Points What is a beginner’s mindset Why Annie and Jen have had to work on a beginner’s mindset recently Why a beginner’s mindset is important How to stop resisting and start cultivating a beginner’s mindset Related Content Episode 235: 4 Tips to Get Back on Track Episode 238: New Here? How to Simplify Nutrition Transcript Download a copy of this episode’s transcript here .…
Episode Overview This week we have another Q+A for you! Someone in our group has quit dieting and started focusing on sustainable behavior change, BUT she’s not seeing any progress toward her weight loss goals. What should she do? Join us as we discuss the importance of understanding your relationship with food and your body, *and* learning to manage your mindset and expectations when you commit to ending the diet cycle. This woman is SO close to finding the peace and freedom she deserves, and we hope you are, too! This episode will certainly help you stay the course. If you love this episode, we know you would love our free private Facebook group even more. Come ask us any health and wellness-related questions and then join us live once a week as we answer all of them. See you there! Key Points Do you still have the mindset of a dieter? Is your leanest adult weight your most sustainable weight? Exploring what “eating well” may look like Related Content Episode 217: 4 Reasons Why You’re Stuck Episode 203: The Difference Between Diets And Habits Transcript Download a copy of this episode’s transcript here .…
Episode Overview We’re back today with another incredible Member Spotlight. Meet Lorraine, a strong, intelligent business analyst and mom of two from Edmonton, Alberta. She joined Balance365 hoping to find a space that honored her desire for fat loss but also supported her in healthy, holistic, evidence-based ways—and she sure found it! Today, Lorraine is down 30lbs from what she describes as a joyful and peaceful process. In this interview, she reminded us how powerful it can be for a woman to heal and free herself from the prison of dieting. While fat loss can be a welcomed byproduct of the work our members are doing, the real magic is in how their lives are changing, how different the lives of their children will be because of it, and the ways they can meaningfully contribute to their communities and the world because they aren’t carrying the baggage of food and weight. Don’t miss this powerful and heartfelt episode. If you want the structure, guidance, and support that Lorraine had, join our waitlist ! Our doors open again in May and those on the waitlist will have the opportunity to enroll 24 hours before the general public. Key Points Lorraine’s feelings of powerlessness before Balance365 Her experience with Weight Watchers, Intuitive Eating, and Health At Every Size How Balance365 has helped her learn how to navigate difficult times Her most impactful habit and the results she’s gotten from the program Related Content Episode 115: Cut The Crap: Tough Love From Jen & Annie Episode 166: How Jasmine Learned To Trust In Herself + Her 50lb Weight Loss Story Transcript Download a copy of this episode’s transcript here .…
Episode Overview Balance365 Co-Founder Jennifer Campbell has been listening to, and coaching, women since 2015. In today’s episode, she gets candid about the trends and patterns she sees over and over in how women navigate their weight. What hurt? What helps? If Jen’s message resonates with you, join us to become the healthiest version of you. Sign up for our program waitlist today. Key Points What you will and will not be remembered for Is your goal weight realistic for you? Are you moving toward a number or a feeling? Why overvaluing weight loss can lead to sabotage What to do about weight fluctuations Related Content Episode 183: How to Create a Life You Want Episode 158: Roxanne’s Mindset Shifts + 20lb Weight Loss Journey Transcript Download a copy of this episode’s transcript here .…
Episode Overview You made a new health goal. But now you’re struggling to keep that commitment to yourself. Maybe you’re feeling ashamed and even defeated. STOP RIGHT THERE and listen to this episode. We’ve coached countless women through how to keep their health commitments to themselves and we’ve noticed three major themes as to why these fall to the wayside. Today, Annie shares those three issues, and what you can do to work through them. Stop that cycle of struggle today! If you’ve had any major lightbulb moments while listening to our podcast, we would like for you to leave us a review anywhere you download your podcasts. It means so much to us and really helps us grow our reach so we can share our message with even more people. Key Points How to identify what you truly do and do not want What to ask yourself before you make a commitment Consider the long-term vs. short-term process How to embrace failure and mistakes and move on Related Content Episode 173: Why You’re Not Staying Motivated (And What You Can Do About It) Episode 196: The Secret To Staying Consistent Longer Than 3 Weeks Transcript Download a copy of this episode’s transcript here .…
Episode Overview Growing a family is no joke! We know that firsthand. Today we’re answering a question from a mom who asked us, “How can I get back to normal movement after pregnancy? I’ve got two kids now and I’m working full time.” We LOVED this question because we both have three kids, and as the saying goes, hindsight is 20/20! Join us as we share some tips on the shifts needed for anyone who’s experiencing these big life changes. Enjoy! And don’t forget that you can ask us YOUR health and wellness questions in our free Facebook group every Tuesday and we’ll answer them live on Wednesday! Join us right here to get started . Key Points Finding the why behind your postpartum stuggle How to create and manage realistic expectations What you can do to advocate for yourself Related Content Episode 79: Stopping The Diet Cycle: One Mom’s Journey To Wellness Episode 163: How Body Shame Can Lead To Future Weight Gain Transcript Download a copy of this episode’s transcript here .…
Episode Overview Happy February, everyone! Our Facebook live questions have been SO good lately, so we’re answering one more for you today: “How do I untangle fitness from food?” This is SUCH a common struggle. Diet culture has programmed us to believe we are either “all in” or “all out,” but at Balance365, we believe your health, wellness, and longevity of your goals depend on you moving away from this all-or-nothing mindset. Join us in a candid, off-the-cuff conversation about how people can start untangling their fitness and food choices. And as always, please join us in our free Facebook group ! Every week we go live to answer member questions, and we might just answer yours next! Key Points Why we tend to lump food and fitness choices together What we can do to combat this type of all-or-nothing mindset Related Content Episode 251: 4 Considerations if You Have Weight Loss Goals in 2023 Episode 241: Q+A – Weekend Overeating, Nutrition for Picky Eaters, and Overcoming Body Image Issues Transcript Download a copy of this episode’s transcript here .…
1 Episode 286: Separating Nutrition Science from Pseudoscience with SciBabe (Yvette d'Entremont) 54:38
Episode Overview Today, we have the pleasure of welcoming Yvette d'Entremont, also known as SciBabe, to the podcast. Yvette is a renowned public speaker and science educator who has the unique ability to break down complex research and communicate it in engaging and humorous ways. Yvette has built quite a large following on social media where, each day, she publishes her popular “Moment of Science” column. Join us as we discuss Yvette’s journey from analytical chemist to science educator and the prevalence of misinformation in the health and nutrition world. We explore the reasons behind these false claims, the resistance to change even in the face of scientific evidence, and how we can all become more discerning consumers of online information. Plus, each of us shares our own personal experiences of falling down nutrition misinformation rabbit holes. If you're seeking evidence-based support for your health and wellness journey, our highly anticipated enrollment to Balance365 is just around the corner. Join our waitlist and gain exclusive early access before we open to the general public, and we're waiving the $199 join fee. Don't miss out on this opportunity– secure your spot right now! Key Points About SciBabe and her background Why pseudoscience can become so prevalent Some popular pseudoscientific nutritional claims Common health and wellness red flags Mentions SciBabe.com Related Content Episode 184: The Truth About Sugar (Part 1) Episode 273: The Neuroscience of You: Understanding Your Brain with Dr. Chantel Prat Transcript Download a copy of this episode’s transcript here .…
Episode Overview Recently, a woman in our free Facebook group asked if weight gain is inevitable as you age. In this episode, we dive into the latest science around metabolism and aging. Our primary focus: Does the metabolism truly slow down as we age? And, is weight gain an unavoidable consequence of getting older? Join us as we explore these questions, share our own experiences, and uncover the truth behind the relationship between metabolism and the aging process. In just one month, the doors to Balance365 will open for enrollment! Sign up for the Balance365 waitlist and be the first to join our life-changing nutrition coaching program before we open to the public, and save $199! Click here to sign up . Key Points What is metabolism? Does metabolism slow as you age? What studies say about metabolism and age What contributes to weight gain in midlife Mentions Daily energy expenditure through the human life course study Related Content Episode 168: Is It Really A Slow Metabolism? https://www.balance365.com/episode145/ Episode 145: Menopause – Weight Loss, Wellness, And Learning To Thrive Transcript Download a copy of this episode’s transcript here .…
Episode Overview Let’s talk about Ozempic and the world of weight loss medications. What are they? How do they work? And the burning question: should you try them? Over the past year, we have received an increasing number of inquiries about these medications. At Balance365, we aim to provide a supportive environment for our members, alongside their healthcare providers, to explore if these options align with their values, preferences, and goals. Join us today for an eye-opening discussion that aims to inform, empower, and uplift our community while respecting their autonomy in choosing what is best for their bodies. Enjoy! Remember, our life-changing nutrition coaching program opens in September. We have a limited number of spots available. Add your name to the waitlist here , and you'll have the opportunity to enroll 24 hours before the general public, AND we'll waive the $199 registration fee! Key Points Popular weight loss medications on the market right now What are they for, and do they all work for weight loss? Who are weight loss medications for? The “messy middle” of weight loss medications Mentions Reasons for discontinuation of GLP1 receptor agonists study Related Content Episode 268: The Trade-Offs of Fast Weight Loss Episode 224: Q+A – Dining Out Tips, Weight Loss Without Restriction, and the Optimal Number of Healthy Habits to Build at a Time Transcript Download a copy of this episode’s transcript here .…
1 Episode 283: Exploring Self-Love, Body Liberation, and Weight Loss with Sarah Sapora 1:09:40
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1:09:40Episode Overview Today, we have the pleasure of welcoming a guest we’ve respected and admired for years. Joining us on the show is the incredible Sarah Sapora, a true trailblazer in the realm of plus-size personal growth. Prepare to be inspired as Sarah delves into the challenges faced by mid-life women, offering her “older sister wisdom” along with invaluable and nuanced insights about self-love, body liberation and weight loss. Sarah's work transcends beyond weight-related matters, resonating deeply with individuals seeking personal growth and fulfillment at any size. Tune in to embark on a transformative journey and gain a wealth of wisdom from this insightful episode. If you’ve been looking for a nutrition coaching program that focuses on whole-self transformation, your search ends here. Join the waitlist for Balance365 Coaching , opening for enrollment on September 18th. Don't let this opportunity pass you by. Key Points Sarah Sapora’s history with body positivity and how it has transformed into body liberation About Sarah’s new book, Soul Archaeology: A (Totally Doable) Approach to Creating a Self-Loving and Liberated Life A nuanced conversation about the importance of healing our relationship with ourselselves and others Related Content Sarah's Book: Soul Archeology - A (Totally Doable) Approach to Creating a Self-Loving and Liberated Life Episode 267: Healing Family Wounds with Therapist Vienna Pharaon Episode 272: Healing the Mother Wound with Maggie Nick Transcript Download a copy of this episode’s transcript here .…
1 Episode 282: 3 Essential Body Image Shifts with Therapist Phaedra Gryz 1:04:21
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1:04:21Episode Overview Join us as we welcome body image therapist Phaedra Gryz back to the Balance365 Life podcast. Phaedra has been an integral part of Balance365's growth journey, starting with us as a nutrition coaching client and then transitioning to a coaching team member. Her candid and authentic approach to body image struggles, both from her personal experience and her work as a therapist, has resonated deeply with our community. In this episode we discuss the top three recurring body image issues Phaedra sees coming up in coaching calls with our members. With her profound insights and practical strategies, we this episode helps you start navigating your own body image challenges with more ease. Don’t forget our life-changing nutrition coaching program is opening for enrollment in September! Experience the same freedom, clarity, and sustainable results that countless others, including our own coaches like Phaedra, have achieved through Balance365. Click here to join the waitlist now . Key Points Phaedra’s updates and journey to becoming a body image therapist A therapist’s take on body image The three most prevalent issues that Phaedra has encountered in her profession and how to work through them Mentions Episode 149: Member Spotlight – How Phaedra’s Mindset Shift Led To A 30lb Weight Loss Related Content Episode 129: How To Reconnect With Your Body After Dieting Episode 241: Q+A – Weekend Overeating, Nutrition for Picky Eaters, and Overcoming Body Image Issues Transcript Download a copy of this episode’s transcript here .…
Episode Overview It is not uncommon to experience intense feelings of overwhelm when you begin anything new, especially when approaching a weight loss journey. It can arise at any stage, but we often see it right at the beginning. While there is a genuine desire for change, the mere thought of starting can flood anyone with extreme thoughts and feelings that ultimately keep them feeling stuck (or even quitting entirely). In today's podcast episode, we slow things down and walk you through the process of navigating feelings of overwhelm when you’re starting a weight loss journey. We hope you leave this episode with a new perspective and have some new tools for being able to take continued, consistent action. While you’re here, do not miss our FREE 3-part workshop that is now available on-demand: Cut the Crap: How to Simplify Weight Loss and Get Out of Your Own Way. This short course cuts through the BS and shows you exactly how you can stop overcomplicating the process and start moving toward your goals. Sign up right now! Key Points Your relationship with overwhelm Upstream vs. downstream problems Techniques we see in our successful members What do you need to manage overwhelm? Mentions Episode 150: Weight Loss Simplified Related Content Episode 178: Three Reasons You Can’t Eat Just One Episode 152: The Balance365 Fat Loss Formula Transcript Download a copy of this episode’s transcript here .…
1 Episode 280: Personal + Professional Updates from Jen and Annie 1:07:24
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1:07:24Episode Overview We pride ourselves on being open and honest with our audience. Today, we’re giving you some updates about our year so far. Join us as we discuss our personal and professional lives, the mistakes we’ve made and lessons we’ve learned, as well as some of our strategic plans for the future. We hope when we share our individual experiences, it helps you think about the direction of your own journey. Before you hit play, make sure to register for our free, on-demand workshop, Cut the Crap: How to Simplify Weight Loss and Get Out of Your Own Way! This workshop has changed how thousands of women around the world approach health, wellness, and weight loss. Register here to get started . Key Points Jen’s personal updates Annie’s personal updates Professional updates from both Annie and Jen Mentions Episode 252: Jen and Annie’s Highs and Lows of 2022 Related Content Episode 115: Cut The Crap: Tough Love From Jen & Annie Episode 263: The Importance of a Beginner’s Mindset…
1 Episode 279: How Stefanie Overcame Her ‘Free for All’ with Food and Lost 55lbs with Balance365 42:11
Episode Overview Meet Stefanie, a busy, full-time working mom. Several years ago, Stefanie made the smart decision to ditch the toxic fad dieting cycle. But, as many women do, she was catapulted to the other end of the eating spectrum and found herself stuck in another cycle she couldn’t seem to exit: a free-for-all with food. After a sobering visit with her doctor, Stefanie knew she couldn’t continue the trajectory she was on with her health. She decided it was time to join Balance365 but, as you’ll hear, she had reservations. Weight loss without restriction sounded too good to be true. Since then, Stefanie has learned it’s absolutely possible. She’s reclaimed her health, awakened her love of exercise, radically changed her mindset and relationship with food, and has lost 55lbs. We hope you’ll find inspiration in Stefanie’s story. Enjoy! If you’re interested in losing weight without restrictive dieting, get on our waitlist . Our life-changing nutrition coaching program opens on September 18th. We would love to see you there! Key Points Stefanie’s history with diets, the anti-diet community, and how her health had been affected Why Stefanie joined Balance365 and what hesitations she had beforehand How Stefanie went from hating running to enjoying it How Balance365 has impacted Stefanie and her health Related Content Episode 261: Member Spotlight – How Lorraine Joyfully and Peacefully Lost 30lbs Episode 243: Member Spotlight – How Erica Learned True Self Care (and Lost 75lbs!) Transcript Download a copy of this episode’s transcript here .…
Episode Overview With the abundance of health, wellness, and weight loss information available, it can be challenging to determine how to implement nutrition recommendations in a way that works for your life. In the fourth installment of our latest “how-to” series, we are discussing a topic many people are concerned about: how to cut back on alcohol. Join us to learn five practical tips for reducing your alcohol intake so you can feel confident your healthy changes will stick. Before you click play, don’t forget to register for our free on-demand workshop, Cut the Crap: How to Simplify Weight Loss and Get Out of Your Own Way . In this workshop, you will learn four essential aspects of weight loss and how to overcome barriers of implementing them. Register today! Key Points Why it’s beneficial to decrease alcohol consumption Why it’s easy to fall into an unwanted alcohol habit Our 5 tips to reduce alcohol consumption Mentions Episode 169: Real Talk About Your Alcohol Consumption Related Content Episode 133: What vs. How You Eat And Why It Matters For Fat Loss Transcript Download a copy of this episode’s transcript here .…
Episode Overview It’s time for another segment of our "how-to" series! Today, we dive into the all-too-common question: how do I reduce the frequency of emotional eating? If you’ve tried to reduce your emotional eating but still struggle (or maybe you feel like things have gotten worse), this episode is for you. Join us as we discuss the possible root causes and provide you with practical, realistic tips and insights to help you tackle emotional eating head-on. Don't miss out on this valuable episode. Enjoy! If you want to take it a step further, you can learn more about managing emotional eating in our online course, 3 Steps to End Emotional Eating . This self-paced course is where we dig into understanding emotional eating, share why it’s not all about the food, and teach you the Balance365 framework for managing your emotional eating urges. Key Points Defining emotional eating Why emotional eating is a normal, natural human urge Our 5 tried-and-true tips for managing emotional eating when it feels out of control Mentions 3 Steps to End Emotional Eating Course Related Content Episode 212: Q+A – Emotional Eating, Rage Eating, And The “Screw Its” Digging Into Pleasure Eating & More Transcript Download a copy of this episode’s transcript here .…
Episode Overview Welcome to another episode of our popular "how-to" series, where we go beyond telling you what to eat, and show you HOW to make sustainable changes that stick! Today, we're taking on one of the biggest questions in nutrition: how to increase your protein intake. And we've got five tried and true tips that will help you meet your protein goals! If you’re ready to change the way you approach health and wellness, don’t forget to check out our free workshop, Cut the Crap: How to Simplify Weight Loss and Get Out of Your Own Way. This workshop has transformed the lives of thousands of women around the world! Don't miss out - register now! Key Points Why protein is important How to determine how much protein you need 5 tips to incorporate more protein into your diet How Jen and Annie meet their protein goals Mentions Examine.com Protein Intake Calculator Related Content Episode 215: Q+A – Protein, Satiety, Managing Cholesterol And More! Episode 268: The Trade-Offs of Fast Weight Loss Transcript Download a copy of this episode’s transcript here .…
Episode Overview Today we’re kicking off the first part of a brand new “how-to” series! Last week we discussed quite a few evidence-based nutrition recommendations for women, specifically menopausal women. But if there’s anything we’ve learned as nutrition coaches for the last eight years, we know that knowing WHAT to eat for health and weight loss is different from actually putting it into practice. So today, we’re discussing tried-and-true methods to help you actually DO IT, not just talk about it! Eating more fruits and veggies might sound basic and simple, but it’s something that we find almost all of our new Balance365 members can benefit from, so this episode is for everyone! If you loved this episode, and are ready to pursue your weight loss goals in more simple, sustainable ways, check out our free course, Cut the Crap: How to Simplify Weight Loss and Get Out of Your Own Way . It's packed with actionable tips and advice that you can start implementing today. It’s available on-demand, so you can work through it at your own pace! Key Points Why eating fruits and veggies is important Our 5 hacks to increase your fruit and veggie intake Jen and Annie’s favorite ways to consume fruits and veggies Related Content Episode 151: How To Curate Your Environment For Weight Loss Success Episode 80: How To Deal With Picky Eaters Transcript Download a copy of this episode’s transcript here .…
1 Episode 274: Menopause Nutrition Considerations with Dietitians Hillary Wright & Elizabeth Ward 59:45
Episode Overview Today, we’re excited for you to hear our interview with Hillary Wright, M.Ed, RDN, and Elizabeth Ward, MS, RDN ! These two dietitians specialize in women’s health and each have three decades of nutrition experience! They’re also authors of the incredible book, The Menopause Diet Plan (NOT a fad diet book, we promise!). In this episode, we explore Hillary and Liz’s top nutrition recommendations for midlife, as well as important health considerations beyond nutrition. Not only are these two women entertaining, but also great communicators when it comes to creating balanced, sustainable nutritional habits. Don't miss out on this fun and informative conversation! If you love our no-nonsense approach to nutrition, health and weight loss, make sure you check out our free workshop, Cut the Crap: How to Simplify Weight Loss and Get Out of Your Own Way . This three-part workshop is available on-demand for you to watch and learn at your own pace. It comes with a downloadable workbook that contains all of the key concepts as well as additional questions to help you process the material. This workshop is mind-blowing for those who take it and we can’t wait for you to experience that, too! Key Points Introducing Hillary Wright and Liz Ward, two dietitians specializing in women’s health Hillary and Liz’s history with menopause How to eat and exercise for menopause Handling perimenopause and menopause symptoms Mentions The Menopause Diet Plan book The PCOS Diet Plan book The Pre-Diabetes Diet Plan book Related Content Episode 222: All About Type 2 Diabetes (Part 1) Episode 223: All About Type 2 Diabetes (Part 2) Transcript Download a copy of this episode’s transcript here .…
Episode Overview Today we are joined by Dr. Chantel Prat, a cognitive neuroscientist and author of The Neuroscience of You. During our interview we discussed the science behind the all-too-common experience of knowing what to do but struggling to do it and why sleep and stress heavily impact your ability to follow through on your commitments. In this episode you’ll learn how to work WITH your brain instead of fighting against it! At Balance365, our mission is to help women live a life of balance in their minds and bodies every day. If you’re ready to build nutrition and wellness habits that last and break free from self-sabotaging cycles, get on our coaching waitlist right here . Key Points Learn about Dr. Chantel Prat and her work as a cognitive neuroscientist The horse and rider analogy How your environment can impact your behaviors How to rewire your brain to learn new habits and make them stick Mentions Chantelprat.com Related Content Episode 151: How To Curate Your Environment For Weight Loss Success Episode 164: How To Stop Weight Loss Self-Sabotage Transcript Download a copy of this episode’s transcript here .…
1 Episode 272: Healing the Mother Wound with Maggie Nick 1:03:39
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1:03:39Episode Overview Do you ever struggle to navigate your relationship with your mother? If so, you won’t want to miss this episode. We’re back with another guest this week, therapist Maggie Nick. Maggie specializes in what she calls “the mother wound” which is an internalized set of core beliefs about who we are, our worth, and our value Maggie calls herself a recovering people-pleasing “perfect child.” Her therapy practice focuses on healing low self-worth, shame resilience, and parenting and reparenting. Join us as we discuss what the mother wound and how it can contribute to body shame and disordered eating. We also cover boundary setting and how we can start healing ourselves from the pain of navigating challenging relationships with our mothers. We hope you love this conversation as much as we did. Enjoy! Don't miss out on the opportunity to transform your relationship with food and your body. Our life changing nutrition coaching program opens for enrollment next week. Add your name to the waitlist and you’ll have access to spots 24 hours before the general public. Click the link in our show notes or visit www.balance365.com/waitlist. Key Points Maggie’s backstory and current projects What is the mother wound and how does it relate to shame, disordered eating, and boundary-setting? How women carry the mother wound from childhood into adulthood/parenthood The steps we can take to heal, and how mothers can help heal the mother wound in their children. Mentions Maggie with Perspectacles on Instagram The Estrangement Project Related Content Episode 147: How To Set Boundaries With Problematic People You Love Episode 95: What To Do When Your Kid Gets Called “Fat” Transcript Download a copy of this episode’s transcript here .…
Episode Overview People fail at weight loss over and over because they are answer seekers, not problem solvers. But what’s the difference between the two? In today’s episode, we provide you with some eye-opening questions to ask yourself about how you approach your weight loss journey. So many of our members have told us that this shift has led to *many* other lightbulb moments. We hope it does the same for you! If you have a question about health, weight loss, body image, etc., we answer your questions live in our Facebook group every week! Join us for free right here! Key Points Why answer seekers fail at weight loss What a problem solver does differently to achieve weight loss How to shift your identity from an answer seeker to a problem solver Related Content Episode 235: 4 Tips to Get Back on Track Episode 209: 5 Mindset Shifts We See In Our Successful Members Transcript Download a copy of this episode’s transcript here…
Episode Overview On this week’s episode we’re answering a question from our Facebook group. She says this, “nothing has been sustainable in the past, and I’m exhausted from the binge/restrict cycle. Where do you even start when it feels all-consuming?” Today we’re going to give you some food for thought on how to successfully approach a weight loss journey, why it may feel so all-consuming for you, and how to reframe your thoughts about the whole process. Enjoy! If you have a question for us, we’d love to answer it live inside our free Facebook group! Click here to join. Key Points Why you might feel overwhelmed when starting a weight loss journey Tips on how you can manage those feelings Related Content Episode 152: The Balance365 Fat Loss Formula Episode 238: New Here? How to Simplify Nutrition Transcript Download a copy of this episode’s transcript here .…
Episode Overview We’re back with another live Q+A episode! Today, we’re talking about something many women deal with often: body comparison. If you find yourself comparing your body to women who are smaller than you, this episode is for you! We’ll dive deep into the “why” behind this comparison trap and offer some helpful solutions to help take the focus away from other bodies and back to your own individual experience. If you want to ask us your burning questions about health, wellness or weight loss, join in on our next live Q+A in our free Facebook group . Key Points Why do we fall into the comparison trap? Questions we need to ask ourselves to get to the root of the problem How to body check yourself Related Content Episode 241: Q+A – Weekend Overeating, Nutrition for Picky Eaters, and Overcoming Body Image Issues Episode 129: How To Reconnect With Your Body After Dieting Transcript Download a copy of this episode’s transcript here .…
1 Episode 253: Katie’s Shift From Intuitive Eating to Balance365, Finding Peace, & Losing 20lbs 58:36
Episode Overview Like many women, Katie couldn’t understand why health, wellness and weight loss eluded her. She tried many different approaches in her life from fad diets to Intuitive Eating but could never find the success she was looking for. When Katie stumbled across Balance365, she thought “this is it.” Now, for the first time in her life, Katie is on a trajectory she feels excited about. She’s honing in on her hunger and satiety cues, is smashing goals in and out of the gym, and she’s lost 20 pounds. Best of all, she feels confident this approach is sustainable for life. Don’t miss this incredible episode! If you’re ready to get out of the endless cycle of dieting and on a path you’re confident with, then it’s time to join Balance365. On January 16th, our life-changing nutrition coaching program opens to the public for enrollment. Add your name to the waitlist for early-access to spots and to save $199 off the general public price. Get on our waitlist now! Key Points Katie’s life as a young athlete How Katie’s changing body pushed her to start dieting Katie’s experience with Intuitive Eating and why it didn’t work for her How Balance365 has changed her mindset about health, fitness, nutrition, and more! Related Content Episode 243: Member Spotlight – How Erica Learned True Self Care (and Lost 75lbs!) Episode 228: Member Spotlight—Jessica’s Powerful Shift from Perfectionism to Consistency and Balance Transcript Download a copy of this episode’s transcript here .…
Episode Overview In the spirit of transparency, we’ll be honest: we had plans to create a very different podcast episode for you today. But 2022 threw us, as we’re sure it did for many of you. So instead, today we’re taking an “off the cuff” approach and sharing our highs and lows of 2022. Hopefully, this podcast can help you approach 2023 with a new perspective. Are you ready? Note: make sure you have some tissues nearby. Our life-changing coaching program opens up in January and we have a limited number of spots available. Get on the waitlist for early access to spots and to save $199! Click here to join. Key Points Annie shares her highs and lows about parenting, physical setbacks, and her goal word for the year Jen shares her highs and lows around what she considers the hardest year of her life, after her husband developed a critical illness Related Content Episode 240: Control vs. Trust—A Grown Ass Woman Email Sneak Peek Episode 216: How To Ask For What You Need Without Apology (Reshare) Transcript Download a copy of this episode’s transcript here .…
Episode Overview 2023 is almost here! If you have a weight loss goal in the new year, we need to talk! Today, we’re discussing four considerations to reflect on before you dive head-first into the new year. Let’s set you up for success! But before you go, remember this: you don’t have to do this one you own. We would love to support you in 2023 with learning the skills and strategies you need to reach your goals. Click here to join our waitlist . Our doors open in early January! Key Points Why it’s important to zoom out and reflect on patterns and habits The power of your “why” and how it can influence your behaviors How to manage your beliefs and expectations around your goals The importance of prioritizing sustainability over speed Related Content Episode 211: 5 Habit Changes We See In Our Successful Members Episode 195: To Lose Weight, You Need To Get Honest With Yourself Episode 200: You’ve Been Bingeing For A Month Straight… Now What (Reshare) Transcript Download a copy of this episode’s transcript here .…
Episode Overview Today, we’re interviewing Jeanette. At 53, she’s learned how to create simple, healthy habits she knows she can sustain for the rest of her life! Currently, she is down 40lbs, has reversed her pre-diabetes trajectory, reduced her blood pressure, and improved her lipid profile since joining our program in May 2022. We love to hear it! We can’t wait to share more about her successes with you today. Jeanette’s journey is a testament to how life-changing Balance365 Coaching can be. If you want to break free from diets and create life-long healthy habits like her, join our Balance365 Coaching waitlist for January! Doors will open to the waitlist ONLY—so if you aren’t on the waitlist, you won’t be able to join. Sign up today! Key Points How Jeanette found Balance365 Her history with diets and perfectionist tendencies How Jeanette’s mindset and habits have shifted since joining Balance365 How she feels about her incredible progress, and what her goals are now Related Content Episode 239: How Lisa Found Sustainable Change After 45 years of Dieting Episode 145: Menopause – Weight Loss, Wellness, And Learning To Thrive Transcript Download a copy of this episode’s transcript here .…
Episode Overview We know so many women who wholeheartedly believe they are good for themselves. They have proven their reliability, care, and consideration in relationships with others, yet they struggle to consistently extend that same care to themselves. They see the importance of it, and they long to experience it, but they continue to struggle to consistently practice self-trust. Today, Annie and Jen are here to share their experiences with self-trust. Come listen as they share how they’ve learned to rely on themselves to do the things they know will serve them well (and also where they still struggle!) And before you click play, we want you to know that Balance365 Coaching is opening up again soon. If you’re ready to join us and start building better self-trust and sticking to your habits, this is your chance! Get on the waitlist here . Remember, we are *only* opening enrollment to those on the waitlist so don’t miss it! Key Points Feltman’s “4 Distinctions of Trust” and how they apply to all of us How to respond when you identify a lack of self-trust in these four areas The power of honesty and sincerity with yourself when addressing a lack of trust Mentions The Thin Book of Trust by Charles Feltman Related Content Episode 166: How Jasmine Learned To Trust In Herself + Her 50lb Weight Loss Story Episode 240: Control vs. Trust—A Grown Ass Woman Email Sneak Peek Transcript Download a copy of this episode’s transcript here .…
Episode Overview Hi, everyone! We’re back this week with a very helpful guide for all of our new Balance365 Fat Loss Foundations members! This episode does not just get you started, but also keeps you on track and helps you anticipate what’s to come, so don’t miss it! If you want even more support, accountability, and camaraderie on your journey, make sure you join the waitlist to enroll in Balance365 Coaching . Enrollment opens in January to the waitlist only. That means if you aren’t on the list, you won’t get notified! Join the waitlist today! Key Points The number one thing getting in the way of your progress Why you shouldn’t try to do all the things right away Is mindset work part of your journey? Why simplicity is important The benefits of Balance365 Coaching Mentions Balance365 Course Fat Loss Foundations Related Content Episode 234: After the After – Karen’s Healthy Habits After Balance365 Episode 213: How Meg Gave Herself The Gift Of Health At 50 Transcript Download a copy of this episode’s transcript here .…
Episode Overview Hello everyone! Today, we’re getting candid with one of our members, Katie McNally! She’s here to answer YOUR questions about losing 50lbs with Balance365. We got dozens of excellent questions from our audience asking about everything from her habits, her mindset shifts, and her experiences in Balance365. We hope you enjoy! Katie is here to remind us that restriction-free weight loss is possible for ANYONE ready to embrace it the Balance365 way. If you’re ready to start your journey just like Katie did, our Fat Loss Foundations course is NOW ON SALE for Black Friday! Kick off your new year with a simpler and clearer framework for health, wellness, and weight loss in 2023 starting today! Click here to learn more . Key Points Katie’s “why” and what she was looking for when she found Balance365 The beliefs Katie shifted to reach her goals Her experiences throughout her journey, before and after Balance365 Mentions Episode 181: How Katie’s ‘Seismic Change’ In Mindset Led To Losing 50lbs Related Content Episode 183: How to Create a Life You Want Episode 164: How To Stop Weight Loss Self-Sabotage Transcript Download a copy of this episode’s transcript here .…
1 Episode 246: Q+A - Struggling with “Bad Foods” and Self-Sabotage After Stepping on the Scale 19:26
Episode Overview Hi everyone! We’re back this week with another Q+A episode. This week, we’re tackling two audience questions: How do I stop bingeing on ‘bad foods’ after quitting dieting? How can I avoid self-sabotage after stepping on the scale and seeing that my weight is down? And don’t forget about our free upcoming workshop: Cut the Crap: How to Simplify Weight Loss and Get Out of Your Own Way . This is our most popular workshop where we cut to the chase and deliver a little real talk, a little tough love, but best of all, help you clear out all the clutter you have about weight loss, nutrition, exercise, and SIMPLIFY your process! Don’t miss it! Register at balance365.com/freeworkshop/ . We can’t WAIT to see you there! Key Points How to stop bingeing on all ‘bad foods’ after quitting dieting How to avoid self-sabotage after stepping on the scale and seeing that your weight is down Related Content Episode 240: Control vs. Trust—A Grown Ass Woman Email Sneak Peek Episode 220: Q+A – Eating For Pleasure, Satiating Breakfasts, And Beating The Mid-Afternoon Slump Transcript Download a copy of this episode’s transcript here .…
Episode Overview One in three people in the U.S. track their health data… but is it a healthy practice? Or is it actually causing more harm? In this episode reshare, Annie and Jen discuss wearable technology and fitness trackers and the data we collect about ourselves. Join them as they explore the reasons to track or not to track, and how to improve your relationship with the information you gather about your body. And back by popular demand! We’re hosting our free 3-part workshop “Cut the Crap: How to Simplify Weight Loss and Get Out of Your Own Way” in November! We get straight to the point in this workshop, discussing what works, what doesn’t, and how you can pursue weight loss by working WITH your body and brain, not against them! Register here to reserve your spot! Key Points How to determine if tracking is working for you What to do if tracking isn’t serving you How zooming out can help you gain perspective How to shift your mindset around health metrics and data Related Content Episode 214: How To Stop Tracking Calories And Macros Without Losing Control Episode 79: Stopping The Diet Cycle: One Mom’s Journey To Wellness Transcript Download a copy of this episode’s transcript here .…
Episode Overview The holidays are upon us! For many, this tends to be a challenging stretch of time where we start to see our healthy habits slip, or even disappear entirely. Is there a better way to navigate this season while keeping our healthy habits going strong? We say YES. Join Annie and Holea as they discuss how to identify common mindset issues that can derail your healthy habits, and provide tips on approaching the holidays in a way that feels good to you. Enjoy! But before you click play, come register for our upcoming free workshop: Cut the Crap: How to Simplify Weight Loss and Get Out of Your Own Way . Come learn how to get out of the self-sabotage cycle and, of course, what really works when it comes to reaching your goals and sustaining your results! Key Points What to do if you start feeling the “screw-its” How to manage expectations around the holidays How to create coping strategies outside of food Practical tips for attending holiday parties and get-togethers Related Content Episode 197: 5 Holiday Weight Gain Facts You Need To Know Episode 147: How To Set Boundaries With Problematic People You Love Transcript Download a copy of this episode’s transcript here .…
Episode Overview It’s time for another incredible member spotlight! Even though Erica was just 19 when she joined Balance365, she had already spent years struggling with emotional eating and an unhealthy relationship with exercise. After 18 months with Balance365, she’s developed skills to help her manage her emotions without food, joined a gym and took up weight lifting, and has also completed nursing school! Erica’s commitment to caring for herself has led to a 75-pound weight loss, but it’s not about that for her anymore. She had learned to love and care for herself regardless of her weight. We’re so excited for you to hear more about Erica and how she has integrated these changes while she finished school and shifted her mindset. Enjoy! And in case you haven’t noticed, Halloween is upon us. If you’re trying to find that sweet spot between eating NONE of the candy and ALL of the candy, get our free Halloween candy guide right here . It applies to both candy-obsessed kids and adults, so don’t miss out! Get your copy today! Key Points Erica shares her history of emotional eating and body shame How she found Balance365 What kinds of habits and hobbies she’s engaging in now (hello, weight lifting and hip hop dance!) What life looks like for her now Related Content Episode 234: After the After – Karen’s Healthy Habits After Balance365 Episode 208: Q+A: Rewarding Yourself, Following Through, And The Power Of Small Changes Episode 191: How To Work Candy Into Your Weight Loss Plan Transcript Download a copy of this episode’s transcript here .…
Episode Overview For those of you who may not know, Annie doesn’t cook. She doesn’t like it; she never has. But she does like to eat! So today, she’s sharing all her secrets on balancing her nutrition without cooking (yes, it’s possible!) If you love the idea of reaching your health and weight loss goals like Annie has, without needing to cook every single meal, stick to a list of “good” foods, or count all the calories, you’ve got to get on our waitlist . The doors to our coaching program only open a few times a year, and those on our waitlist are the first to know! Key Points How Annie preps her ingredients Weighing the pros and cons of convenience foods How Annie eats out in a balanced way Related Content Episode 224: Q+A – Dining Out Tips, Weight Loss Without Restriction, and the Optimal Number of Healthy Habits to Build at a Time Episode 186: Is Your Mindset Ready for Weight Loss? {10 Questions} Transcript Download a copy of this episode’s transcript here .…
1 Episode 241: Q+A - Weekend Overeating, Nutrition for Picky Eaters, and Overcoming Body Image Issues 18:55
Episode Overview We have another juicy Q+A episode for today! Each week, we live in our free Facebook group, Weight Loss Without Restriction, where you ask questions and we answer them! The topics we tackle change from week to week, but this week we discussed: - How to stop overeating on the weekends - Better nutrition for picky eaters - Tackling body image issues that arise when gaining weight Before you go, be sure to check out our new 3 Steps to End Emotional Eating Mini Course, available for immediate access! This course will help you cut through the BS advice just like we do in our Q+A episodes and learn how to take back control of your cravings. Click here to check it out . Key Points How to stop overeating on the weekends How to improve nutrition for picky eaters How to manage body image issues that arise when gaining weight Related Content Episode 227: Q+A – How to Support a Friend’s Weight Loss Goals and Discussing Hunger Between Meals Episode 193: Why Can’t I Control Myself Around Carbs? Episode 171: 4 Reasons You Don’t Have Self-Control Around Food Transcript Download a copy of this episode’s transcript here .…
Episode Overview Hello Balance365 community! We’ve got a special bite-sized podcast episode for you today. Every few weeks, we send out a heartfelt email sharing personal stories, wisdom, and experiences that we don’t share anywhere else. But today, we’re sharing one of those emails, and we know it will make you take a pause and ask yourself some important questions. We hope you love it. If you love what you hear and want to get our monthly exclusive Grown Ass Woman Stuff emails, click here to join our newsletter so you won’t miss out on the next one! Key Points Annie shares how to move from more control to more trust Questions to ask yourself to build more trust in yourself Mentions The Grown Ass Woman Stuff newsletter Related Content Episode 183: How to Create a Life You Want Episode 208: Q+A: Rewarding Yourself, Following Through, And The Power Of Small Changes Transcript Download a copy of this episode’s transcript here .…
Episode Overview Hello everyone! Today we’re getting to know Lisa, who spent 45 years trying diet after diet with no long-term success. She joined Balance365 out of sheer desperation, hoping to find sustainable change… and she was not disappointed. Lisa has not only lost 20 pounds, but she feels better than she ever thought imaginable, and most importantly feels like she’s finally found the lasting change she’s been looking for. We know you'll love Lisa’s radical honesty and energy. If her story hits home for you, get your name on our waitlist so you can be the first to know when the doors to Balance365 open again. Click right here to sign up! Trigger warning: contains mentions of eating disorders Key Points Lisa’s history with dieting What led Lisa to join Balance365 Why Balance365 has been different for her compared to dieting What Lisa’s life looks like now Related Content Episode 165: How To Break Free From Emotional Eating Episode 213: How Meg Gave Herself The Gift Of Health At 50 Episode 203: The Difference Between Diets And Habits Transcript Download a copy of this episode’s transcript here .…
Episode Overview In our experience, the average person can benefit from understanding nutrition basics. We’re talking foundational nutritional habits. Maybe you’re asking, “Why simple? Shouldn’t I overhaul everything for the best benefits?” Because simple is *actionable.* By the end of this episode, you will walk away with a few key takeaways of nutritional guidelines that you can start exploring right away, no diet overhaul needed! If you don’t want to do this on your own, we’ve got you covered. Our coaches would love to help you through this process in our Balance365 Coaching program. Get on our waitlist right here! Key Points Why should we simplify nutrition? Two questions to ask yourself about your nutrition Nutrition science and basic guidelines How to move from disregulated eating to more regulated eating Related Content Episode 192: Weight Loss Nutrition: How Annie Lost 60lbs Episode 137: Member Spotlight: How Megan Lost 45lbs With Balanced Nutrition + Self Care Transcript Download a copy of this episode’s transcript here .…
1 Episode 237: Q+A - Staying Engaged with Habits When Life is Chaotic and Artificial Sweeteners’ Impact on Weight Loss 17:46
Episode Overview Hi everyone! We’re back with another live Q+A podcast episode! In today’s episode, we’re sharing two questions submitted by our audience: 1. How can you stay engaged with a habit when your world is out of balance? 2. Do artificial sweeteners impact your weight loss goals? This episode is a quick one, but is PACKED with info. Don’t miss it! If you haven’t already heard us shouting from the rooftops, we’ll say it one more time: our free, live training “Nighttime Snacking: Why You Do It and How to Stop” begins TOMORROW (September 15th). Join us as we do a deep dive into a habit so many people are struggling with. If you’ve tried and failed over and over to curb that nighttime eating, this is for you! Click here to sign up for free . Key Points How to stay engaged with a habit when your world is out of balance Artificial sweeteners’ impact on your weight loss goals Related Content Episode 184: The Truth About Sugar (Part 1) Episode 185: The Truth About Sugar (Part 2) Transcript Download a copy of this episode’s transcript here .…
Episode Overview Today’s the day! In this episode, you’re going to hear Annie unpack her recent divorce, dating, and body image experiences. Come listen to how she worked through some lingering body image issues after her 15-year relationship ended and she re-entered the dating world. And! In just 10 days, Jen and Annie are hosting a BRAND NEW free training on one of our community’s biggest struggles. It’s called Nighttime Eating: Why You Do It and How to Stop . This training will be a live virtual event the evening of September 15th and we would LOVE to see you there! Click here to sign up for free! Key Points How Annie’s life changed significantly a few years ago Annie’s experience with dating What body image issues have come up since her divorce How she’s processing it all and what her life looks like now Mentions Episode 183: How to Create a Life You Want (Women are Sleeping) Related Content Episode 225: Does Losing Weight Make You A Bad Feminist? (Reshare) Episode 174: How Weight Loss Can Impact Marriage And Partnerships Transcript Download a copy of this episode’s transcript here .…
Episode Overview We hear you: a change in routine can be hard! For example, with autumn around the corner, it means it’s time to transition from summer to fall routines. And it can be a struggle! Today, we’re sharing our best tips to start a new routine or get back on track after a long hiatus. We also have an exciting announcement! We have been working tirelessly behind the scenes on our brand Nighttime Snacking: Why You Do It and How to Stop. It’s a new free training, happening live on the evening of September 15th, and it's absolutely free to attend. This workshop is for you if you’ve tried and failed over and over to curb that nighttime eating. Click here to sign up! Key Points What are your slippery habits How to know if you’re ready to get back on track What to focus on first How to make a plan and what to consider when you begin Mentions Episode 217: 4 Reasons Why You’re Stuck Related Content Episode 110: How Routines Can Help You Find Control In The Midst Of Chaos With Kendra Hennessy Episode 106: Staying Calm And Healthy In Chaos Part 1 Transcript Download a copy of this episode’s transcript here .…
Episode Overview Today we have another “after the after” journey to share with you! Meet Karen, another Balance365 Coaching graduate who has taken what she needed from our program and is now living a full, values-driven life. And—this is just the icing on the cake—Karen’s also down 60lbs! We loved listening to her story. We know you will, too. Karen’s story can be your story, too. If you want *more* than just weight loss, and to live a bigger, fuller, more aligned life, then don’t wait! Enrollment to our program opens again in September, and we would LOVE to coach you! Click here to join the waitlist . Key Points How Karen found Balance365 What helped Karen to stop swinging between extremes and finally find balance Karen’s experience with past diets and how Balance365 has been different How Karen feels now as a Balance365 graduate Mentions Episode 219: After The After – Kara’s Sustainably Healthy Life After Balance365 Related Content Episode 213: How Meg Gave Herself The Gift Of Health At 50 Episode 209: 5 Mindset Shifts We See In Our Successful Members Episode 192: Weight Loss Nutrition: How Annie Lost 60lbs Transcript Download a copy of this episode’s transcript here .…
Episode Overview Hello, everyone! We’re back with another Q+A episode for you all! This week we’re covering two topics: strategies to practice better thoughts when you can’t seem to get past the unhelpful ones, and how to differentiate between satisfying a craving versus giving into an emotional urge to eat. These are excellent questions and we can’t wait to dive in. Join us! Emotional eating is one of the top issues our audience reports struggling with. If you too struggle with emotional eating and are ready to do something about it, check out our 3 Steps to End Emotional Eating Mini Course . Key Points How to start practicing better, more helpful thoughts What’s the difference between satisfying a craving and eating emotionally Related Content Episode 224: Q+A – Dining Out Tips, Weight Loss Without Restriction, and the Optimal Number of Healthy Habits to Build at a Time Episode 212: Q+A – Emotional Eating, Rage Eating, And The “Screw Its” Transcript Download a copy of this episode’s transcript here .…
Episode Overview Welcome back to the final episode of our three-part series on exercise! In our previous episodes, we talked about the science behind exercise and addressed myths and truths . Today we’re covering how to build muscle and get stronger. We hope you’ve enjoyed this series and are walking away from this with a better understanding of exercise. Here’s to getting your exercise actions in line with your goals! If you’re ready to explore the messy middle of health, wellness, and weight loss with us, get on our waitlist for our next coaching enrollment! The doors to our coaching program open again in September. Get your name on the waitlist for early access right here. Key Points How to get clear on your goals The importance of consistency How to apply progressive overload How rest impacts your goals How nutrition plays a role in building muscle and strength Related Content Episode 206: The Pros And Cons Of Weighing Yourself Episode 196: The Secret To Staying Consistent Longer Than 3 Weeks Episode 175: The Truth About Intermittent Fasting Transcript Download a copy of this episode’s transcript here .…
Episode Overview Welcome to Part 2 of our three-part series on exercise! Last week we covered Part 1: Exercise 101 , helping you understand the foundations of exercise! This week we’re covering exercise myths and truths because so many exercise myths are still in circulation. Let us help free you from those diet culture lies! But before you go, sign up for our free newsletter! Every week, we send out emails packed full of wisdom, insights, and reflections. If you like our podcast, you’ll love this newsletter. Don’t miss out! Sign up right here . Key Points Is building muscle strength and muscle size the same? Can you spot reduce fat? Is there a “best exercise” for weight loss? Are sweating/muscle soreness prerequisites for health benefits/strength gains? Is more exercise always better? Can weightlifting make women too bulky? Do all people respond to exercise the same way? Mentions The Holy Sh!t Moment by James Fell Related Content Episode 221: 3 Ways Summer Sabotages Your Goals (And What You Can Do) Episode 168: Is It Really A Slow Metabolism? Episode 156: 4 Beliefs That Make Weight Loss Difficult Transcript Download a copy of this episode’s transcript here .…
1 Episode 230: 3-Part Exercise Series (Exercise 101) 1:01:47
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1:01:47Episode Overview Today we’re kicking off a three-part series on exercise (Annie’s favorite topic!). Over the years we’ve worked with many women who feel lost and confused when it comes to exercise. So, over the next three weeks, we’ll provide you with an overview of exercise, break down some of the most common myths, and tell you exactly what to do if your goal is to get stronger. Today, in part one of this series, we give you some foundational knowledge about exercise that will make everything else we talk about in this series make much more sense. Don’t skip it! PS—If you love this podcast, don’t forget to share it with a friend and leave a review! We read each and every review, and they help us reach more women who can benefit from some Balance365 love in their lives. Key Points How much exercise do we need? Different types and levels of exercise Why populations aren’t as active as recommended, and why it matters Benefits of exercise How to begin increasing your movement Related Content Episode 192: Weight Loss Nutrition: How Annie Lost 60lbs Episode 162: The Most Important Thing You Need To Know About Weight Loss Episode 126: Member Spotlight: Experiencing Weight Loss By Honoring Her Body Transcript Download a copy of this episode’s transcript here .…
Episode Overview Typically, we do our Q+A episodes monthly. But this question came up recently, and it was just too good not to get on the podcast ASAP! Why? Because this is the number one question we get over and over, and it usually goes something like this: “I want to lose weight. That means I have to eat less. How is that different from restriction?” As you’ll soon learn in this episode, it’s VERY different. Don’t miss it! Also, if you want to dive deeper into understanding and practicing weight loss without restriction, check out our course, Fat Loss Foundations! Click here to get started . Key Points Discussing what restriction is Addressing psychological and physiological restriction Why restriction isn’t the same as restraint Why restriction and restraint look different for everyone Related Content Episode 212: Q+A – Emotional Eating, Rage Eating, And The “Screw Its” Episode 189: How Muryn Lost 30 lbs And Built Her Best Life Transcript Download a copy of this episode’s transcript here .…
1 Episode 228: Member Spotlight—Jessica’s Powerful Shift from Perfectionism to Consistency and Balance 52:02
Episode Overview Today we’re chatting with one of our members, Jessica. Jessica is an innovative, accomplished and successful mom of three who has been hailed throughout her life by friends, family, and her community for all that she’s achieved. But on the inside, Jessica was struggling with a bad case of perfectionism. She ruminated on thoughts about food, exercise, and weight constantly. Ultimately, she pushed herself to healthy eating and exercise extremes, leading to injury. But when she found Balance365, she started addressing some of her belief systems. Was her desire for perfection actually holding her back from achieving more? We know many of you will relate to Jessica’s journey. There’s a lot to learn here. Listen now! As Jessica shared in this interview, you will not regret joining Balance365 Coaching. Let’s explore the messy middle of health, wellness, and weight loss together! The doors to our coaching program open again in September. Get your name on the waitlist for early access to spots right here . Key Points How Jessica found Balance365 What her life was like before joining How she grew up with a perfectionist mindset and didn’t even realize it What Jessica loves the most about her life of food freedom and self-acceptance now as a Balance365 Coaching member Mentions Amanda Thebe Episode 140: The Minnesota Starvation Experiment: What You Need To Know Related Content Episode 190: 3 Reasons Your Weight Loss Stalled Episode 142: How Weight Loss Obsession Leads To Weight Gain Transcript Download a copy of this episode’s transcript here .…
1 Episode 227: Q+A - How to Support a Friend’s Weight Loss Goals and Discussing Hunger Between Meals 26:06
Episode Overview Today’s podcast episode gets really personal really quick! In this Q+A, we talk about our matching tattoos, plus how to support friends with weight loss goals, and how much time does it take your body to adjust to more balanced meals? Join us! If you love our live Q+As, you can access so much more inside of Balance365 Coaching! Enrollment begins in September, so don’t miss it. Get on the waitlist now to get priority access . Key Points What do our matching tattoos mean? How to help a friends who has weight loss goals How long does it take our bodies to adjust to eating balanced meals? Related Content Episode 209: 5 Mindset Shifts We See In Our Successful Members Episode 192: Weight Loss Nutrition: How Annie Lost 60lbs Episode 170: What If I Have A Lot Of Weight To Lose? Transcript Download a copy of this episode’s transcript here .…
Episode Overview Does looking at photos of yourself trigger intense body shame? Over the last seven years, we’ve seen this time and again: an enjoyable event or experience is ruined as soon as a woman sees photos of herself. This can lead a person to delete precious moments, avoid pictures in the future, and even trigger a return to quick-fix, restrictive dieting. But does that solve the deeper issues women are experiencing? We say no. That’s why, in today’s episode, we share some real-life solutions to help you feel more comfortable with photos and a little more at peace with your body. But before you click play, Balance365 Coaching is opening up again in September. If you’re ready to join us, this is your chance! Get on the waitlist here to get early access to spots. Key Points Reasons we may not like photos of ourselves The mirror-image effect and why full-body photos can feel jarring How to move past panic when you see a photo you don’t like Reactive responses and value-driven responses Related Overview Episode 163: How Body Shame Can Lead To Future Weight Gain Episode 129: How To Reconnect With Your Body After Dieting Episode 203: The Difference Between Diets And Habits Transcript Download a copy of this episode’s transcript here .…
1 Episode 225: Does Losing Weight Make You A Bad Feminist? (Reshare) 1:07:23
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1:07:23Episode Overview Can you call yourself a feminist and still want weight loss? To help answer that question, we invited Grace Club founder Maggie Anderson for an exploration of feminism, weight loss, body autonomy, and how to create more compassion for yourself and others. Maggie is an avid learner and unlearner, a collaborator, community cultivator, yoga teacher, partner, and mother of two daughters. In this reshared episode, you’ll find a spirited discussion that will challenge you to examine your beliefs, think critically about the messages you are receiving, and really unpack what your relationship with your body means to you. Where do you stand in the pendulum swing of diet culture, body positivity, and body neutrality? Get ready to dig deep with us. And speaking of digging deep… Emotional eating is one of the top issues our Balance365 members report struggling with. If you need help digging into the root causes and want to learn how to create healthier coping mechanisms, check it out here: 3 Steps to End Emotional Eating Mini Course . Key Points Defining diet culture and feminism The role of choice and body autonomy in feminism Why feminism needs to be intersectional The pendulum swing between diet culture, body positivity, and body neutrality How to honor ourselves and others Mentions Grace Club YVR Related Content Episode 172: Ableism In Health And Wellness With Alison Tedford Episode 141: The REAL Cost Of Dieting (That Nobody Talks About) Episode 174: How Weight Loss Can Impact Marriage And Partnerships Transcript Download a copy of this episode’s transcript here .…
1 Episode 224: Q+A Dining Out Tips, Weight Loss Without Restriction, and the Optimal Number of Healthy Habits to Build at a Time 32:03
Episode Overview Hello, everyone! In today’s episode, we’re sharing one of our live Q+A’s from our private Facebook group. Join us as we discuss our favorite tips for eating out while trying to lose weight, how to pursue weight loss without restriction, and the optimal amount of habits you should build at one time. Enjoy! If this podcast has left you craving more, we send out very personal and impactful emails about health, wellness, psychology, and behavior change bi-weekly. Join our Grown Ass Women’s newsletter here . Key Points Our tips for eating out How to lose weight without restriction How many habits should you build at one time? Mentions Grown Ass Women’s Newsletter Related Content Episode 212: Q+A – Emotional Eating, Rage Eating, And The “Screw Its” Episode 193: Why Can’t I Control Myself Around Carbs? Episode 204: Weight Loss Q+A: Monday Restarts, Period Cravings, Obligation Eating And More! Transcript Download a copy of this episode’s transcript here .…
Episode Overview Today we’re back with Part 2 of our series “All About Type 2 Diabetes.” (If you haven’t listened to Part 1, please go back to last week’s episode and listen to it first!) Today, we continue the conversation alongside Jen’s sister Janelle Edwards. Janelle is a nurse and was diagnosed with type 2 diabetes recently. She was so helpful in helping us create the outline for these two episodes that we asked her to come on and share her knowledge and experience live. And if you want more real conversations about health and wellness, join our Weight Loss Without Restriction Facebook group! Inside, we answer your questions, provide sustainable weight loss advice, and so much more! Key Points Diabetes myths Influence of social determinants on type 2 diabetes Janelle’s experience with type 2 diabetes Mentions Episode 184: The Truth About Sugar (Part 1) Episode 185: The Truth About Sugar (Part 2) Related Content Episode 172: Ableism In Health And Wellness With Alison Tedford Episode 180: 3 Sneaky Weight Loss Sabotagers Transcript Download a copy of this episode’s transcript here .…
Episode Overview Hey everyone! Over the next two weeks, we’re diving into Type 2 Diabetes. 13% of the adult population is diabetic, and 90-95% of those cases are Type 2. In addition, one-third of the US population is prediabetic, meaning their health markers are getting dangerously close to a diabetes diagnosis. Half of those with a prediabetes diagnosis will develop Type 2 Diabetes within the next 5 years. So this stuff is important! Today we’re talking with Jen’s sister Janelle, a Registered Nurse and very recently diagnosed with Type 2 Diabetes. Join us as we discuss what Type 2 diabetes is, dispel some myths, and help you assess your own risk factors. Before we get started… In case you didn’t know, twice a month, we send out very personal and impactful emails about health, wellness, psychology, and behavior change to everyone who has subscribed to our newsletter. Don’t miss out on the next one! Join the newsletter here . We promise you will not be disappointed! Key Points What is diabetes? The impacts of diabetes Associated risk factors How to assess yourself Mentions Diabetes Canada Risk Factor Assessment American Diabetes Association Risk Assessment Related Content Episode 133: What vs How You Eat And Why It Matters For Fat Loss Episode 205: Why Your Weight Fluctuates (And What You Can And Can’t Do About It) Transcript Download a copy of this episode’s transcript here .…
Episode Overview Today, we’re covering the main ways we see summer sabotaging people’s goals and how they can approach it a bit differently. Many feel summer is a catalyst for getting off track with their goals, often followed by panic to get BACK on track in the fall. And we don’t want that for you! We want you to feel calm and capable in whatever health or weight loss journey you might be on! If you want to find ways to keep moving toward your goals this summer, don’t miss this episode! And if you want to kick off your summer with a simpler and clearer framework for health, wellness, and weight loss, join our Fat Loss Foundations course! Click here to learn more. Key Points How to handle a change in routine What an increase in socialization can mean for you How summer creates a decrease in intentional exercise for some The benefits of summer on your health Mentions Fat Loss Foundations Course Related Content Episode 121: All-or-Something: How Your Habits Can Survive The Summer Episode 208: Q+A: Rewarding Yourself, Following Through, And The Power Of Small Changes Episode 193: Why Can’t I Control Myself Around Carbs? Transcript Download a copy of this episode’s transcript here .…
1 Episode 220: Q+A - Eating For Pleasure, Satiating Breakfasts, And Beating The Mid-Afternoon Slump 30:25
Episode Overview Hey everyone! Today we’re sharing one of our live Q+As where we talk about eating food for pleasure (Is it bad? Is it good?), how to create a balanced breakfast during busy mornings, and what to do to beat the mid-afternoon slump. In case you didn’t know, we go live in our Weight Loss Without Restriction Facebook group to answer all of YOUR questions every Thursday! You can join us there to answer all of those burning health and wellness questions. For now, we hope you enjoy this episode! Our brand new 3 Steps to End Emotional Eating Mini Course is available today! This course will help you cut through the BS advice and learn how to take back control of your cravings. Click to check it out here. Key Points How to manage eating for pleasure How to create balanced breakfasts that keep you fuller for longer How to beat the mid-afternoon slump Mentions 3 Steps to End Emotional Eating Mini Course Related Content Episode 212: Q+A – Emotional Eating, Rage Eating, And The “Screw Its” Episode 127: The Balance365 Nutrition Basics Transcript Download a copy of this episode’s transcript here .…
Episode Overview Today we’re interviewing former Balance365 Coaching member, Kara Lang. While we know that once you’re a Balance365er, you’re always a Balance365er, we thought it would be great to follow up with someone who has graduated from our coaching program. What does her life look like now? Has she been living a sustainably balanced life, or did she start a rebound diet? How has she felt since moving forward on her own? Kara joined Balance365 Coaching in May of 2020 and graduated in 2021. Not only does she share why she joined and what she achieved while working with us, but she also describes her life post-Balance365! (Plus she shares her insider tips when placing orders at Starbucks!) Don’t miss it! Come listen! Also, if you missed our recent enrollment for the Balance365 Coaching program and don’t want to miss out on the opportunity to join next time, our waitlist is open! Sign up now and get priority access before we open to the public. Key Points Kara shares how she found Balance365 Why Kara decided to join and what she wanted Kara’s results from the Coaching program Kara’s Starbucks “secrets”! Mentions James Fell Dr. Yoni Freedhoff Atomic Habits by James Clear Related Content Episode 166: How Jasmine Learned To Trust In Herself + Her 50lb Weight Loss Story Episode 194: How Nancy Ditched Dieting And Lost 40lbs With Balance365 Transcript Download a copy of this episode’s transcript here .…
Episode Overview We’re smart. We’re wise. We’re capable. We can do so many hard things… And then there’s this weight loss thing, and it’s something so many of us have never been able to crack. For many in our audience, it can actually become a big source of embarrassment or even shame. Which is too bad, because the truth of the matter is, it isn’t us. It’s… - The tools we’ve been given for weight loss are terrible and don’t work (hi, restrictive diets!) - The tools we’ve been given to manage stress are terrible and don’t work (hello, emotional eaters!) - And no one has ever shared an approach with you as effective as Balance365 (hello, freedom!) Ready to get into it? Let’s go! If you loved this episode and you’re ready to create a healthier mindset and implement smarter strategies, the Balance365 Coaching program is having our biggest sale of the year - RIGHT NOW! Our coaches are ready to help you dig in and examine what’s keeping you stuck and create a plan of action to move toward your goals! Click here to join! Key Points Strategies smart women use to lose weight Insights smart women have about weight loss How smart women tune into themselves instead of ignore their needs Related Content Episode 145: Menopause – Weight Loss, Wellness, And Learning To Thrive Episode 101: 4 Things Women Who Lose Weight And Keep It Off Refuse To Do Episode 155: The Power Of Lifting Women Up With Molly Galbraith Transcript Download a copy of this episode’s transcript here .…
Episode Overview Feeling stuck? Been there! This is a topic that comes up often in conversations with our audience. Many of us know what we want to do or should do but we STILL struggle to take action. Why is that?! In today’s episode, we dig into the four reasons why you’re stuck and how to navigate it. We’ll also explain the how’s and why’s behind behavior change! Join us! And back by popular demand! We’re presenting our free 3-part workshop “Cut the Crap: How to Simplify Weight Loss and Get Out of Your Own Way” starting May 4th! We’re going to be discussing what works, what doesn’t, and how you can pursue weight loss by working WITH your body and brain, not against them! Register here to reserve your spot! Key Points The five stages of change The four BIG reasons you’re feeling stuck How to break out of a rut and start moving toward your goals again Mentions Fat Loss Foundations Course 3 Steps to End Emotional Eating Mini Course Related Content Episode 117: What Resistant Children Can Teach Us About Change Episode 208: Q+A: Rewarding Yourself, Following Through, And The Power Of Small Changes Episode 211: 5 Habit Changes We See In Our Successful Members Transcript Download a copy of this episode’s transcript here .…
Episode Overview Women are often socialized to present as if they need nothing from the world. While the spirit of independence is inspiring, the reality is that as humans we do need things. It isn’t about weakness, it’s about humanity. Today, in a powerful reshared episode, Jen and Annie talk with clinical social worker Mel Bosna to explore human needs and why they matter. We’d also like to announce that we are bringing back our incredibly popular workshop in May—Cut the Crap: Simplify Weight Loss and Get Out of Your Own Way. We’ll be going live with you all to deliver a little real talk, a little tough love, but best of all, help you clear out all the clutter you have about weight loss, nutrition, exercise… and SIMPLIFY the process. Register here for free. We can’t WAIT to see you there! Key Points Societal messages around women’s needs How to identify your needs and how to advocate for them in a healthy way The importance of role modeling self-care and asking for what you need Related Content Episode 183: How to Create a Life You Want Episode 147: How To Set Boundaries With Problematic People You Love Episode 174: How Weight Loss Can Impact Marriage And Partnerships Transcript Download a copy of this episode’s transcript here .…
Episode Overview We’re back with another Q+A episode to discuss what you should know about protein intake, how to know if you’re eating enough calories, what habits can offset high cholesterol, and more! And before you go… We are pumped to announce the return of our super popular FREE video series, Cut the Crap: How to Simplify Weight Loss and Get Out of Your Own Way. If you’ve had an ‘a-ha’ moment in one of our podcasts, you’re going to love how deep we go in this video series! It all starts May 4th. Click here to register! Key Points Protein: what's bro science and what's not? Is your calorie intake causing you to feel depleted? What to do when you’re eating balance but you still feel hungry every 2 hours What to do if you’re questioning how many calories you need to maintain your weight Tips for managing a high cholesterol diagnosis Mentions Examine.com protein calculator Related Content Episode 198: How Steph Kicked Dieting To The Curb And Lost 38lbs Episode 127: The Balance365 Nutrition Basics Episode 192: Weight Loss Nutrition: How Annie Lost 60lbs Transcript Download a copy of this episode’s transcript here .…
Episode Overview Calling all the macro and calorie trackers out there, the ones who don’t want to be stuck tracking for the rest of their lives. We SEE you. In today’s episode, we’re unpacking why individuals get so caught up in tracking calories and/or macros, what problems might come from that, and then we’ll provide you with a template for how you can free yourself from macro- or calorie-counting in a way that makes sense for your life and goals. If you’ve noticed your cravings have been taking control lately, make sure you grab our FREE guide, Five Reasons You’re Craving Sugar right here . It *is* possible to manage your sugar cravings! Key Points What are macros and calories Why do people track and why would they want to stop Our tips to help you transition away from tracking without losing control How habit tracking can help replace that urge to log calories and macros Mentions Episode 36: Tracking Weight, Steps, Food: When It Hurts, When It Helps Episode 97: Getting Real With Balance365 Co-Founder Jennifer Campbell Related Content Episode 99: How To Stop Stress Eating With Josh Hillis Episode 175: The Truth About Intermittent Fasting Transcript Download a copy of this episode’s transcript here .…
Episode Overview Before Meg joined Balance365, she was lost. She was about to turn 50, navigating menopause, and ready to throw thousands of dollars at a new weight loss program. Then, she found us. Since joining Balance365, Meg has started reaching her goals at the age of 50! All because she learned how to shift her mindset around health and weight loss. We love her story, and we know you will, too. If you’re inspired by Meg’s story, and want to start reaching your own goals, get on our waitlist! Enrollment for coaching is currently closed but opens again in May! Click here to sign up today! Key Points Meg’s history with diets What made Meg decide to join Balance365 How Meg discovered what she really wanted for herself How Meg shifted her mindset around diet and fitness and finally started seeing (and feeling) results Mentions Episode 183: How To Create A Life You Want Related Content Episode 176: Sleep And Menopause With Coach Barbara Episode 145: Menopause – Weight Loss, Wellness, And Learning To Thrive Transcript Download a copy of this episode’s transcript here .…
Episode Overview In today’s episode, we’re giving some heavy-hitting answers about why you can’t stop eating, how to manage rage eating, and what to do when you get a case of the “screw-its”! This is the perfect episode for you if you have ever struggled with emotional eating and feeling in control all around food. PS - If you want to do a deep dive into your own emotional eating patterns, check out our new course: "Three Steps to End Emotional Eating." If you feel like emotional eating is impacting your physical health, emotional health, or wreaking havoc on your weight loss goals, then this self-paced mini course is for you! Click here to learn more. Key Points Why you can’t stop eating and what you can do about it What to do when you feel like rage eating What are the “screw its” and our tips on how to stop Related Content Episode 165: How To Break Free From Emotional Eating Episode 99: How To Stop Stress Eating With Josh Hillis Episode 178: Three Reasons You Can’t Eat Just One Transcript Download a copy of this episode’s transcript here .…
Episode Overview Welcome to Part 3 of our What We See in Successful Members Series! This week we’re getting granular with successful members’ most common habit changes. These are the actual day-to-day behavioral changes we see in so many of our successful members. They are healthy and sustainable for *them* because of the shifts we talked about in Part 1 and 2 of this series. NOTE: this episode is going to make the most sense if you’ve already listened to the first two episodes: Part One: 5 Mindset Shifts We See In Our Successful Members Part Two: 5 Weight Loss Strategies We See In Our Successful Members If you are ready to build better eating habits like our members, grab our free guide, Binge Eating: Why You Do It and How to Stop! Download your copy today and learn how to stop your binge eating for good! Key Points The value of sleep How to eat in more satiating ways Why we need to listen to our internal cues How to reduce emotional eating The importance of committing to movement Mentions Episode 209: 5 Mindset Shifts We See In Our Successful Members Episode 210: 5 Weight Loss Strategies We See In Our Successful Members Related Content Episode 196: The Secret To Staying Consistent Longer Than 3 Weeks Episode 181: How Katie’s ‘Seismic Change’ In Mindset Led To Losing 50lbs Transcript Download a copy of this episode’s transcript here .…
Episode Overview Welcome to Part Two of our What We See in Successful Members series! Today we’re discussing five weight loss strategies that we commonly see in our most successful members. Every person’s journey is unique of course, but there are similarities worth exploring! Come check them out with us! (And if you haven’t listened to Part 1, you can do that here. ) You might be asking, what’s the single biggest thing all our successful members have in common? They sign up for the waitlist for our coaching program and joined when we opened enrollment! Don’t skip this important part! Click here to sign up for the waitlist. Key Points The importance of shifting from dieting to developing habits & skills Why keeping it simple works better than overcomplication Why perfectionist mindsets keep people stuck Mindful eating vs chaotic eating habits How to keep showing up even when you don’t feel motivated Related Content Episode 209: 5 Mindset Shifts We See In Our Successful Members Episode 173: Why You’re Not Staying Motivated (And What You Can Do About It) Episode 153: Member Spotlight – Finding Self Love, Self Care, And Sustainable Weight Loss With Kiki Transcript Download a copy of this episode’s transcript here .…
Episode Overview Today, we’re kicking off a three-part series of the top things we see in our successful members. For part one, we’re discussing the top 5 mindset shifts we see in our successful members. This really is where it all begins! Your mindset becomes the foundation that sustainable change builds on, so don’t skip this episode. It’s important! If you want to experience life-changing mindset shifts of your own and finally reach your weight loss goals, our Balance365 Coaching program is for you! Enrollment is currently closed but you can join our waitlist for the next time enrollment opens. Key Points How successful members create awareness around their thoughts Why failure is part of a successful process The importance of a very specific “why” Why playing the long game will always win over racing for a finish line How self-parenting plays an essential role in member success Related Content Episode 186: Is Your Mindset Ready For Weight Loss? Episode 158: Roxanne’s Mindset Shifts + 20lb Weight Loss Journey Episode 192: Weight Loss Nutrition: How Annie Lost 60lbs Transcript Download a copy of this episode’s transcript here .…
Episode Overview Each week, we go live in our Facebook group, Weight Loss Without Restriction , to answer your questions. In today’s episode, we’re sharing one of our recent Q+A’s and we think it's a good one! Here’s what we cover: Is it okay to reward yourself for fitness goals? I’m always making plans to change my habits and never follow through. Why? I don't buy into your philosophy of small changes. (That's it. That's the question! Ha! But make sure you listen to our answer!) Enjoy! PS— The Balance365 Coaching program opens for enrollment again in May! For those of you who are ready for a new approach to weight loss, head to our waitlist page to learn more . Key Points Is it okay to reward yourself for reaching your fitness goals? How to start following through on new habits What we say to people who don't think that small changes work Related Content Episode 192: Weight Loss Nutrition: How Annie Lost 60lbs Episode 173: Why You’re Not Staying Motivated (And What You Can Do About It) Episode 121: All-or-Something: How Your Habits Can Survive The Summer Transcript Download a copy of this episode’s transcript here .…
Episode Overview In today’s episode, we are covering the topic of weight loss for women in smaller-framed bodies vs larger-framed bodies (yes, it is different!). How do we coach smaller-bodied women differently? Tune in to find out! NOTE: When we talk about small-bodied women, we’re generally referring to individuals who may identify as petite, fine-boned, don’t have a lot of weight to lose, often (but not always) shorter, or may be structurally more narrow or thin. It’s an individual experience and not determined by height, bodyweight, or amount of desired weight loss alone. Also, did you know you can get doses of inspiration from Jen and Annie straight to your phone? Sign up to text with us here. Key Points How to get clear on realistic weight loss goals for your body How weight loss guidelines are can vary based on body size Understanding calorie deficits for smaller bodies vs larger bodies The impact of sharing your weight loss goals with others Related Content Episode 193: Why Can’t I Control Myself Around Carbs? Episode 157: Can I Lose Weight While Eating Like A Normal Person? Episode 190: 3 Reasons Your Weight Loss Stalled Transcript Download a copy of this episode’s transcript here .…
Episode Overview Last week, Jen talked about weight fluctuations. Today we want to continue that conversation by digging deeper into the questions: "How often should I weigh myself? What’s helpful? What’s harmful?" The answer to that of course is, it depends! Come listen while we unpack the considerations for each option so you can figure out what’s right for YOU. Don't forget, if you want individualized coaching from Annie and Jen and the Balance365 coaches, you can join our waitlist and get priority access when we open enrollment again! Click here to sign up! Key Points The two types of people we work with regarding scale weight Is it okay to weigh yourself or not? And why? Non-scale things you can also track as part of your progress Mentions Episode 205: Why Your Weight Fluctuates (And What You Can And Can't Do About It) Related Content Episode 190: 3 Reasons Your Weight Loss Stalled Episode 170: What If I Have A Lot Of Weight To Lose? Episode 161: How To Celebrate Weight Loss Transcript Download a copy of this episode’s transcript here .…
Episode Overview "What is happening with my weight? It's up, it's down, it's back up by Monday again. What gives?" Today we are answering some of your biggest questions about weight fluctuations: When are they considered normal and when are they not? What should we be paying attention to? What can we disregard? Jen shares everything you need to know and more in today's episode! While you’re here, be sure to check out our free download, 5 Reasons You’re Craving Sugar. Click here to download! Key Points Are weight fluctuations normal? Weight loss vs fat loss The factors that affect weight change How to know if you're on a successful fat loss journey Why dieters tend to experience more extreme weight fluctuations than non-dieters Related Content Episode 170: What If I Have A Lot Of Weight To Lose? Episode 152: The Balance365 Fat Loss Formula Episode 142: How Weight Loss Obsession Leads To Weight Gain Transcript Download a copy of this episode’s transcript here .…
Episode Overview Have questions about weight loss and nutrition? We've got answers! In this week's episode, we're sharing a recent live Q+A we filmed in our free Facebook group: Weight Loss Without Restriction . In case you didn't know, we go live every Thursday to answer your questions 🧐 This week we're talking about avoiding the feeling to "restart" every Monday, what to do when you feel full but not satisfied, and MORE! Join us! Key Points How to avoid starting over every Monday What to do when you feel full but not satisfied How to handle cravings and binge eating while on your period How to improve consistency without getting obsessive about tracking What to do when you feel obligated to eat everyone's food at family gatherings Mentions Weight Loss Without Restriction FB Group Related Content Episode 183: How To Create A Life You Want Episode 162: The Most Important Thing You Need To Know About Weight Loss Episode 182: Overcoming Fear Of Weight Loss Failure (Behind-The-Scenes Of A Coaching Call!) Transcript Download a copy of this episode’s transcript here .…
1 Episode 203: The Difference Between Diets And Habits 1:03:50
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1:03:50Episode Overview In Balance365 our advice to women looking to lose weight is to stop dieting and instead focus on habits and skills. However many ask us: what does that mean? What’s the difference? And why should I shift my focus away from diets? You’ll find out exactly why in today's episode! 💥 We dive deep into the science behind why diets fail and how building habits and skills work better for long-term, sustainable results. Click to listen: https://www.balance365.com/episode203 And, just like we can build good habits, we can also develop "bad" habits we want to break. If you feel stuck and confused as to how to break free from your overeating habits, you can download our free guide, Binge Eating: Why You Do It and How to Stop right now. Key Points What is a diet? Why don't diets work for most people? What are habits and skills? How do they work? How to build habits and skills to support your goals Mentions Episode 151: How To Curate Your Environment For Weight Loss Success Related Content Episode 171: 4 Reasons You Don’t Have Self-Control Around Food Episode 144: Member Spotlight: Erin’s 38lbs Weight Loss + Freedom From Diets Forever Episode 127: The Balance365 Nutrition Basics Transcript Download a copy of this episode’s transcript here .…
1 Episode 202: How Men Can Navigate Diet Culture, Weight, And Wellness With Chris McMahon 1:03:09
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1:03:09Episode Overview “Do you have a program for men? My husband needs this!” is a question we get on the daily. Our answer? "No, but have you heard of Chris McMahon?" Chris McMahon is a good friend, colleague, and a trusted men’s health expert. In today’s episode, he shares his take on men’s health, wellness, and body image. He is anti-fad dieting but NOT anti-weight loss… Sound like someone else you may know? 😉 Come listen! ...And then don't forget to share this episode with someone who you think would benefit! And while you're here, don't forget to hop on the waitlist for our Balance365 program . Be the first to know when we open our doors again! Key Points The most often ignored issues in men's health and wellness The common struggles that Coach Chris sees in his male clients What we can do to support our male-identifying friends and partners in their pursuit of better health and wellness Mentions Coach Chris McMahon's Value Driven Life Program Related Content Episode 174: How Weight Loss Can Impact Marriage And Partnerships Episode 155: The Power Of Lifting Women Up With Molly Galbraith Episode 116: Why Weight Loss Plans Fail Parents Transcript Download a copy of this episode’s transcript here .…
Episode Overview "You have to want it enough." You've probably heard it before. But if it was true, then so many more people would be reaching their goals, right? Relying on your desire for weight loss as the sole motivator is one of the biggest foundational issues for many of our new members in Balance365. This topic is where we end up spending a lot of our coaching time; it’s THAT important. We know you want it—you might even want it BAD—but it truly is not enough. Listen to find out why. And if this episode resonates with you, don't forget to join the Balance365 waitlist right here. Our program opens on January 6th, 2022, but only to those who are on the waitlist so don't wait! Key Points Why wanting weight loss isn't enough The power that comes in finding your why Jen and Annie both share their stories about how they learned that wanting weight loss wasn't enough to get their results The importance of being pulled by vision instead of pushed by fear Mentions James Clear, author of Atomic Habits Related Content Episode 187: 3 Ways To Shift Your Mindset For Better Weight Loss Episode 142: How Weight Loss Obsession Leads To Weight Gain Episode 73: What An Obesity Specialist Wants You To Know About Weight Loss Transcript Download a copy of this episode’s transcript here .…
This week, in honor of reaching our 200th episode, we're sharing one of our most popular episodes: You’ve Been Bingeing For A Month Straight… Now What. We highly recommend this listen, it’s one of our most listened to episodes! Episode Overview Have you been on a month-long binge this holiday season? Are you feeling some regret? If so, you’re not alone. But what do you do now? You’re likely feeling an impulse to jump on a diet bandwagon… But will that work? In this episode, we’re going to tell you exactly what to do and what not to do when you’re feeling the urge to “reverse the damage” of overeating. We hope you’ll join us! If you need that nudge to get back to healthier habits after the holidays, Balance365 is opening its doors in January, but only to those on the waitlist. Click here to join the waitlist today! Key Points Why dieting isn't the answer to holiday overeating How to create healthy habits that support you through the holidays The importance of setting boundaries How to practice self-compassion and also take ownership of your actions Mentions Episode 147: How To Set Boundaries With Problematic People You Love Episode 152: The Balance365 Fat Loss Formula Related Content Episode 146: Can You Lose Weight During The Holidays? Episode 129: How To Reconnect With Your Body After Dieting Transcript Download a copy of this episode’s transcript here .…
Episode Overview New Year's diet resolutions are right around the corner. This is when we see a surge in gym memberships and the rise of the latest fad diet. If you've been part of that crowd in previous years, or are thinking about jumping back in… HOLD UP. Instead of starting your 2022 out with a restrictive diet (again), we’ve got four alternatives for you to consider. If you're ready to kick dieting to the curb for 2022, don't forget to sign up for the Balance365 waitlist! Key Points Why it's important to just say no How to channel your motivation into positive behavior change Why getting curious about your yearly cycles can help you How to plan ahead and start practicing for the next season Related Content Episode 146: Can You Lose Weight During The Holidays? Episode 141: The REAL Cost Of Dieting (That Nobody Talks About) Episode 152: The Balance365 Fat Loss Formula Transcript Download a copy of this episode’s transcript here .…
Episode Overview In today’s episode, Annie and Jen interview Steph, a long time Balance365 follower turned coaching member. She's a mom of three who has had an extensive history of dieting, which she now sees was keeping her from experiencing a joy-filled life. We are so glad to hear how she has finally found peace, freedom, and a 38lb weight loss with Balance365. She now enjoys all that life has to offer regardless of her body size. If you can relate to Steph's story and want to experience a mindset transformation like she has, now's the time to join the Balance365 waitlist! Enrollment opens to the waitlist ONLY in January! Come be social with us! Balance365 Facebook: Weight Loss Without Restriction Balance365 Instagram: @balance365life If you're ready to kick dieting to the curb for 2022, don't forget to Key Points Steph's diet history and her struggles with her body How she learned to live in the body she has now instead of waiting until she was a smaller size How she has started to enjoy her fitness and food choices and lost 38lbs since joining Balance365 Mentions Episode 99: How To Stop Stress Eating With Josh Hillis Related Content Episode 183: How To Create A Life You Want Episode 142: How Weight Loss Obsession Leads To Weight Gain Episode 102: Learning To Value Slow And Steady Over Fast And Fleeting Transcript Download a copy of this episode’s transcript here .…
Episode Overview It's the time of year we all start to experience a collective panic about holiday weight gain. And today, we're sharing some of the most important things you need to know about holiday weight gain. We'll also help you implement some strategies to manage your decisions, habits and weight around this challenging time of year. And don't forget to download our free digital guide: Binge Eating: Why You Do It and How to Stop , if you want to learn more. Just click the link, and we’ll send it straight to your inbox! Key Points Things to consider as this time of year approaches Why extreme measures aren't a reliable way of "damage control" Why the diet industry LOVES holiday season weight panic Why holiday weight gain may be an indicator that you need to try something different Related Content Episode 143: The Calorie Nightmare Of The Holiday Season Episode 159: Rebellious Eating – What It Is And How To Stop Episode 119: What To Do About Weight Panic (Your Own And Others!) Transcript Download a copy of this episode’s transcript here .…
Episode Overview What happens when you start working on new healthy habits and inevitably wake up one day and the “new and shiny” has worn off? It happens to everyone, typically around 3-5 weeks in. It's what we refer to as the 3-5 week slump, and it’s something we ALL need to plan for when approaching changes to our health and wellness. Join us today to learn how to make your habits stick when the motivation starts to wear off. If you need that extra support to push through things like the 3-5 week slump, then Balance365 is for you! Doors are currently closed but if you hop on our waitlist, you can get first dibs when we open again in January! Click here. Key Points What is the 3-5 week slump and why does it happen What Jen did to overcome her own recent 3-5 week slump The difference between process-based goals vs outcome-based goals Our top tips for what to do when life hits hard and motivation disappears at 3-5 weeks The things we see in successful members when they hit their 3-5 week slump Mentions Balance365 Waitlist Episode 152: The Balance365 Fat Loss Formula Related Content Episode 166: How Jasmine Learned To Trust In Herself + Her 50lb Weight Loss Story Episode 157: Can I Lose Weight While Eating Like A Normal Person? Episode 133: What vs How You Eat And Why It Matters For Fat Loss Transcript Download a copy of this episode’s transcript here .…
Episode Overview You might be missing some key concepts about your weight loss goals. How do we know? Because many of the women who come to us seeking weight loss are unknowingly (and sometimes knowingly) lying to themselves. If you find yourself perpetually stopping and starting, committing but then going off the rails, or only taking action when you feel a surge of motivation and then losing steam and quitting… Then you might also be lying to yourself about what it takes to achieve your weight loss goals. But we’re here to help! In today’s episode, we’ll help you get clear and honest about what you want. Come listen! Also… Balance365 is currently ON SALE. Click here to join the program! This week, the doors are open. You can start a journey to sustainable weight loss NOW. If you’re ready for a community of women who tell themselves the truth and world-class coaches that treat you like the grown ass woman you are, then now is the time to join! Doors close Monday, or whenever we sell out! Key Points The questions you need to ask to get honest with yourself about weight loss Why your “why” may not be compelling enough How to take action once you know what you truly want Mentions Episode 183: How To Create A Life You Want (Women are Sleeping) Episode 182: Overcoming Fear Of Weight Loss Failure (Behind-The-Scenes Of A Coaching Call!) Episode 34: Small, Sustainable Changes: A Balance365 Journey With Danica Related Content Episode 180: 3 Sneaky Weight Loss Sabotagers Episode 130: Self-Compassion vs Self-Complacency: What’s The Difference? Transcript Download a copy of this episode’s transcript here .…
Episode Overview Nancy has been on a diet roller coaster for most of her life. After years of failed diet attempts, she started to believe she wasn’t capable of making the lifelong changes she desired. But, as you’re about to hear, a LOT has changed for Nancy since joining our program. Nancy now says she can look back and be very proud of the goals she has achieved and will continue to achieve after Balance365 coaching! Come listen to find out how she did it. If you love what you hear today and also want to get off the diet roller coaster like Nancy did, register for our free workshop, Cut the Crap: How to Simplify Weight Loss and Get Out of Your Own Way . This workshop will show you exactly how we take our members out of the diet mindset and into manageable, realistic habits and systems for sustainable weight loss. Key Points What led Nancy to join Balance365 How quitting dieting became the catalyst that lead her to feeling confident and capable What kinds of mental shifts that needed to happen for Nancy to meet her health goals (and eventually graduate from the program!) Related Content Episode 181: How Katie’s ‘Seismic Change’ In Mindset Led To Losing 50lbs Episode 153: Member Spotlight – Finding Self Love, Self Care, And Sustainable Weight Loss With Kiki Transcript Download a copy of this episode’s transcript here .…
Episode Overview When we ask women what food group they have the most trouble controlling themselves around, it’s almost always unanimously CARBS. You know what we’re talking about: pasta, bread, ice cream, chocolate, chips… There seems to be a common preoccupation with these foods, and an inability to stop ourselves from eating them once we start. What’s with that? In today’s podcast, we unpack those reasons and give you some helpful tips for how to get started in finding more freedom and control when you’re reaching for carbs. We’re also hosting out our super popular workshop very soon — Cut the Crap: How to Simplify Weight Loss & Get Out of Your Own Way . We’ll be going live to help clarify topics like weight loss, nutrition, and exercise. By the end, you’ll have a much clearer path on the steps you can take to SIMPLIFY your weight loss process. We can’t WAIT to see you there! Key Points Jen’s history with carbs, keto, and low-carb dieting The difference between weight loss and fat loss Tips to stop restricting and bingeing on carbs Mindset swaps to help build a better relationship with carbs Mentions Balanced Plate download Episode 184: The Truth About Sugar (Part 1) Episode 185: The Truth About Sugar (Part 2) Related Content Episode 142: How Weight Loss Obsession Leads To Weight Gain Episode 133: What vs How You Eat And Why It Matters For Fat Loss Transcript Download a copy of this episode’s transcript here .…
Episode Overview If you’ve ever asked someone what they’ve eaten to lose weight, or tried copying someone else’s diet in hopes that it would help you reach your own goals, Annie’s got some hard-hitting advice for you today. In this podcast, Annie shares a bit of her story and explains why asking her what she ate is the wrong question to be asking! Instead, she shares HOW she ate and how these habits lead to a 60-pound weight loss. It’s these kinds of actions that can actually help you reach your goals, too, so come listen. We hope you love it! If you’re interested in learning more about the habits and mindset work that Annie used to reach her weight loss goals, we invite you to attend our upcoming free workshop: Cut the Crap: How to Simplify Weight Loss and Get Out of Your Own Way . We’ll be going live with you all to deliver a little real talk, a little tough love, but best of all, help you clear out all the clutter you have about weight loss, nutrition, exercise…. and SIMPLIFY your process. REGISTER HERE FOR FREE TO RESERVE YOUR SPOT! Key Points Why Annie focused more on how she ate as opposed to what she ate The foods she prioritized most days The tricks she learned to help her cut caloric intake while still feeling satisfied How she learned the importance of practicing consistency on the weekends Why small changes can make the biggest difference Mentions James Fell Related Content Episode 164: How To Stop Weight Loss Self-Sabotage Episode 115: Cut The Crap: Tough Love From Jen & Annie Episode 93: Annie’s Story – From A Size 24 To Size 12 Without Dieting Transcript Download a copy of this episode’s transcript here .…
Episode Overview Candy season is officially upon us... *cue feelings of terror* For many, this time of year means a sudden and dramatic increase in sweets and treats in our homes, which can mean a challenging season for those of us with weight loss goals. In today’s podcast, we provide you with 4 tips for how you can still work candy into your weight loss plans. And if you find yourself struggling with sugar cravings, you can also grab our 5 Reasons You’re Craving Sugar guide to start managing your cravings today! Key Points How to stop bingeing on candy How to give yourself permission to eat a satisfying amount of candy How to enjoy and savor your candy How to make candy part of a balanced nutritional plan Mentions Dr. Yoni Freedhoff Episode 148: You’ve Been Bingeing For A Month Straight… Now What Binge Eating: Why You Do It and How to Stop guide Episode 139: 4 Tips For Moderating Your Halloween Candy Consumption How to Navigate Halloween with Candy-Obsessed Kids Related Content Episode 146: Can You Lose Weight During The Holidays? Episode 143: The Calorie Nightmare Of The Holiday Season Transcript Download a copy of this episode’s transcript here .…
Episode Overview Weight loss is never a linear path, but we also understand it can be frustrating to see your progress slow down, or even come to an abrupt halt. In this episode, we share the three most common reasons we see that cause our members to hit weight loss plateaus. If you think your eating habits might be contributing to your weight issues, grab our free guide: Binge Eating: Why You Do It and How to Stop today! Key Points Why your BMR and activity levels can stall weight loss progress How to know if your weight loss goal is realistic The importance of checking in with yourself about your habits Mentions Basal Metabolic Rate (BMR) calculator Episode 93: Annie’s Story – From A Size 24 To Size 12 Without Dieting Related Content Episode 140: The Minnesota Starvation Experiment: What You Need To Know Episode 128: How Sleep Impacts Fat Loss Episode 119: What To Do About Weight Panic (Your Own And Others! Transcript Download a copy of this episode’s transcript here .…
Episode Overview When it comes to weight loss, Muryn’s done it all: the blood type diet, Weight Watchers, cutting out whole foods groups, and yet nothing helped her reach her goals. Until she found Balance365. In this week’s episode, we follow Muryn as she shares her journey to self-acceptance and empowerment while also losing 30lbs! But when describing what she’s learned, in her own words, “Weight loss is the gravy on top!” We adore Muryn and her story, and we’re so glad she agreed to share it with us all. If you see parts of yourself in Muryn, we would LOVE to work with you, too! Join our waitlist to be notified when Balance365 goes on sale again and get first dibs before we open to the public. We've got great things coming that you won't want to miss. Click here to join the waitlist! Key Points What led Muryn to join Balance365 How she learned to bust through beliefs and align her mindset and habits with her goals How she lost 30lbs without restriction Related Content Episode 158: Roxanne’s Mindset Shifts + 20lb Weight Loss Journey Episode 153: Member Spotlight – Finding Self Love, Self Care, And Sustainable Weight Loss With Kiki Episode 154: How Stress Impacts Your Weight Transcript Download a copy of this episode’s transcript here .…
Episode Overview “Honesty is a form of self-respect.” It’s a common phrase we say in Balance365. We believe that in order to make sustainable changes, you’ve got to get radically honest with yourself about the things that are important to you. Today we’re talking about the common barriers people have that keep them from being radically honest with themselves *and* from losing weight as a result. If you’d like to take this journey a step farther and start getting honest with yourself about your sugar cravings, we’ve got a FREE guide just for you: “5 Reasons You’re Craving Sugar and What to Do About It.” Download it today to start getting to the root of the issue with your sugar cravings! Download your copy here! Key Points How we may be being dishonest with ourselves and not even know it The top issues about honestly that we see in our members and our solutions Annie and Jen share their own struggles with self-honestly Some common signs of honesty avoidance Mentions Episode 179: The Lies We Tell Ourselves That Sabotage Weight Loss Related Content Episode 142: How Weight Loss Obsession Leads To Weight Gain Episode 134: A Psychologist’s Advice For Changing Your Relationship With Food Transcript Download a copy of this episode’s transcript here .…
Episode Overview How many times have you set a weight loss goal, started and then thrown in the towel shortly after? What do you think you need to change in order for you to finally reach your goals? You might be thinking “I need a better diet” or “I need a better fitness routine” but in most cases, the needed adjustment is mindset! Having a growth mindset is one of the most powerful tools a person can have. In today’s quick episode, Annie gives you three powerful ways to change your thoughts to better weight loss results. Enjoy! NOTE: If you missed the first half of this two-part podcast , we recommend that you go back to episode 186 and take our super short mindset quiz! FREE BONUS! If you struggle with chaotic eating, like so many of the women we know, download our free guide, Binge Eating: Why You Do It & How to Stop today! Download your copy here! Key Points How to identify and manage your “fixed mindset triggers” Why you should celebrate the process and not just the results Why utilizing the word “yet” can be a powerful tool Related Content Mindset: Changing The Way You Think To Fulfil Your Potential by Carol Dweck Transcript Download a copy of this episode’s transcript here .…
Episode Overview Are you mentally prepared for weight loss? Let’s find out. Grab a pencil and have a seat. It’s quiz time with Annie this week. In this week’s episode, Annie shares 10 questions to ask yourself to assess if your mindset is ready for *sustainable* long-term weight loss. So, if you want your weight loss results to STAY for good, come listen and take this quick quiz. Next week, we’ll dive in deeper to help you learn what your quiz results mean! If you’re loving the podcast, come join us in our free Weight Loss Without Restriction Facebook group ! Become a Balance365 insider and receive even more health and weight loss content and the chance to connect with us live every week! Key Points Annie lists 10 questions to ask yourself to see if you’re ready for weight loss The difference between a fixed and a growth mindset Transcript Download a copy of this episode’s transcript here . Related Content: Episode 170: What If I Have A Lot Of Weight To Lose? Episode 158: Roxanne’s Mindset Shifts + 20lb Weight Loss Journey Episode 149: Member Spotlight – How Phaedra’s Mindset Shift Led To A 30lb Weight Loss…
Episode Overview We think ALL people deserve to know the truth about sugar. In this episode, we provide you with the tips and tools to make desired changes to your sugar intake. It’s our hope that after listening, you’ll feel informed and empowered to make great decisions for yourself regarding your sugar intake. Join us! NOTE: In part one of this series, we talked about the science behind sugar and started deconstructing some common myths about sugar. If you haven’t listened, please begin there! And before you click play, we have a free resource for you to download: 5 Reasons You're Craving Sugar . Click here to get it sent straight to your inbox so you can start learning how to manage your sugar cravings today! Key Points How to determine how much sugar is too much Why restrictive dieting can lead to more sugar cravings and consumption Our Core 4 foundational habits inside of Balance365 How to make desired adjustments in your sugar consumption Mentions WHO Guideline: sugars intake for adults and children Episode 169: Real Talk About Your Alcohol Consumption Episode 86: Obesity: A Complex Problem That Needs Complex Solutions Related Content Episode 171: 4 Reasons You Don’t Have Self-Control Around Food Episode 99: How To Stop Stress Eating With Josh Hillis Transcript Download a copy of this episode’s transcript here .…
Episode Overview It’s time to come clean about sugar. In this 2-part series, Jen and Annie do a deep dive into what you need to know. Is sugar addictive? Does it cause diabetes? Today we’re discussing what sugar actually is, how our bodies use it, and help you separate fact from fiction. Don’t forget we have a free resource for you to download now: 5 Reasons You're Craving Sugar . Click here to get it sent straight to your inbox so you can start learning how to manage your sugar cravings today! Key Points The nutritional science behind sugar The Balance365 guidelines for sugar intake We examine common beliefs around sugar Mentions Episode 44: Is Sugar Addictive? Episode 86: Obesity: A Complex Problem That Needs Complex Solutions Related Content Episode 73: What An Obesity Specialist Wants You To Know About Weight Loss Episode 114: 4 Beliefs Getting In The Way Of Finding Your Healthiest Weight Transcript Download a copy of this episode’s transcript here .…
1 Episode 183: How to Create a Life You Want 1:01:47
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1:01:47Episode Overview Women are sleeping. No, not the “zzz’s” kind. We’re talking about women who don’t know what they want or why they want it because they are subconsciously going through their lives pursuing a life they think they “should” be living. In this episode, we provide you with some tough questions to ask yourself, to help you define what you truly want for yourself and help you create a life you WANT. Come listen, and don’t forget the tissues. While you’re here, make sure you grab our new, FREE guide: Five Reasons You’re Craving Sugar right here and get it sent directly to your inbox! Key Points What it means to say “women are sleeping” Common signs that someone is asleep How Jen and Annie discovered when they were asleep Ways you can close the divide between where you are and who you want to be Mentions Women Who Run with Wolves , by Clarissa Pinkola Estés Untamed , by Glennon Doyle Related Content Episode 174: How Weight Loss Can Impact Marriage And Partnerships Episode 147: How To Set Boundaries With Problematic People You Love Episode 115: Cut The Crap: Tough Love From Jen & Annie Transcript Download a copy of this episode’s transcript here .…
Episode Overview Today we’re doing something we’ve never done before: sharing a behind-the-scenes peek into what it’s like to be coached inside Balance365. This coaching call was such a powerful experience, diving into the guilt and shame that Balance365 member Barb has carried for so many years for not becoming a “diet success story.” When we asked her if we could share it, she replied, “Absolutely.” After listening to this call, we hope you realize that nothing compares to working with our team LIVE. Right now, Balance365 is open for enrollment. Jump in before we close the doors August 27th! Click here to join Balance365 Coaching now. Key Points Introducing Barb and learning about her history of weight loss “failures” Annie helps Barb see the differences in what she’s done in the past and what she’s doing now Barb begins the mindset shift of moving past her fears of failing again Mentions Join Balance365 Coaching here! Related Content Episode 153: Member Spotlight – Finding Self Love, Self Care, And Sustainable Weight Loss With Kiki Episode 149: Member Spotlight – How Phaedra’s Mindset Shift Led To A 30lb Weight Loss Transcript Download a copy of this episode’s transcript here .…
Episode Overview Today we’re sharing the spotlight with Balance365 member, Katie McNally. Katie joined Balance365 in September 2020 feeling excited but a little nervous about what was to come. After leaning into the coaching lessons in our program, she has transformed her mind as well as her body (we’re talking a 50lb weight loss, friends!). For the first time in her life, Katie says she truly feels at peace with food and her body. Want to become a member like Katie? Now is the time to get on the waitlist to join Balance365 the next time we open enrollment (hint: it’s coming soon!). Click here to sign up! Key Points How Katie realized that dieting was keeping her from getting results How she learned to love movement and trust herself The ‘seismic change’ that lead her to feeling free in her mind and her body Related Content Episode 114: 4 Beliefs Getting In The Way Of Finding Your Healthiest Weight Episode 131: What To Expect When You Quit Dieting Episode 135: You Know What To Do… Why Don’t You Do It? Transcript Download a copy of this episode’s transcript here .…
Episode Overview Sometimes the things we’re told to help us lose weight are actually the things keeping us stuck. Granted, there are a ton of different things that can hold people back from achieving and maintaining weight loss results, but in today’s episode we’ve chosen to share the top three issues that we’ve been seeing in our community. Join us as we discuss these sneaky sabotagers and dive deeper into how we can identify and manage them. And if you want to learn more, don’t miss our next *free* workshop starting August 24: 3 Steps to End Emotional Eating (and Stop Self-Sabotage). You don’t have to go on this journey alone! Register today—3 STEPS TO END EMOTIONAL EATING (AND STOP SELF-SABOTAGE!) Key Points Why the things you’ve been told to help you lose weight might be what is keeping you stuck Three weight loss sabotagers Solutions for moving past these barriers Mentions 3 Steps to End Emotional Eating (and Stop Self-Sabotage!) Workshop Dr. Traci Mann James Clear Dr. Yoni Freedhoff Related Content Episode 164: How To Stop Weight Loss Self-Sabotage Episode 158: Roxanne’s Mindset Shifts + 20lb Weight Loss Journey Transcript Download a copy of this episode’s transcript here .…
Episode Overview Oh, the lies we tell ourselves that sabotage weight loss! Don’t worry... we ALL do it, and speaking from both personal and coaching experience, we can tell you that humans are great at telling themselves small (and big!) fibs. These lies can lead to a lot of frustration when you find yourself stuck spinning your wheels over and over, getting nowhere. Today we share some of the most common lies we see women telling themselves when they’re on health or weight loss journeys. Because, believe it or not, living authentically and intentionally requires... honesty! We’re also hosting a free workshop this month called 3 Steps to End Emotional Eating (and Stop Self-Sabotage). Emotional eating and self-sabotage are the top two issues our Balance365 members report struggling with, and we can’t wait to share our process with you. Sign up for the free workshop here! Key Points How to determine if you’re in the right mindset to address the lies you tell yourself The most common lies we tell ourselves that sabotage weight loss How to get more honest with yourself Mentions 3 Steps to End Emotional Eating (and Stop Self-Sabotage!) Workshop James Clear’s website Related Content Episode 141: The REAL Cost Of Dieting (That Nobody Talks About) Episode 135: You Know What To Do… Why Don’t You Do It? Episode 125: Is Weight Loss A Realistic Goal For You? Transcript Download a copy of this episode’s transcript here .…
Episode Overview I’ll just have one, you tell yourself. But that leads to another. And another. And another. Pretty soon, you’ve eaten the whole bag of chips, sleeve of crackers, or tub of ice cream. We’ve been there. You’ve been there. And of course it’s ok - unless it’s not ok with you. For some, this becomes a pattern they don’t know how to stop. Join us as we talk about three common reasons you can’t eat just one and what you can do about it. Also, if you love our podcast, wait until you work with us! The Balance365 program opens up just a few times per year, and if you want to be the first to know click here to join our waitlist today! Key Points Why saying no to food is so difficult Three main reasons you can’t eat just one What to do when you’re struggling to stop eating Mentions Balance365 waitlist Episode 171: 4 Reasons You Don’t Have Self-Control Around Food Kevin D. Hall, Ph.D. Episode 151: How To Curate Your Environment For Weight Loss Success Related Content Episode 165: How To Break Free From Emotional Eating Episode 150: Weight Loss Simplified Transcript Download a copy of this episode’s transcript here .…
Episode Overview Food freedom = eating all the things whenever you want, right? We’ve got some news for you. That “food freedom” might not actually be setting you free. If you feel like you’ve struggled with swinging between dieting and food freedom, this episode is definitely for you! Join us as we discuss what food freedom truly is, why it may not be working for you, and how to actually start feeling *true freedom* around food. And before you click play, Balance365 Coaching is opening up again soon. If you’re ready to join us, this is your chance! Get on the waitlist here so you can get first dibs on a spot. Remember, we have a limited number available and they go fast! Key Points The true definition of food freedom Why food freedom may not be working for you How to experience true food freedom Mentions Balance365 Coaching Waitlist Episode 159: Rebellious Eating – What It Is And How To Stop Related Content Episode 157: Can I Lose Weight While Eating Like A Normal Person? Episode 148: You’ve Been Bingeing For A Month Straight… Now What Transcript Download a copy of this episode’s transcript here .…
Episode Overview Menopause is a time when major hormonal, physical, and psychological changes happen to our bodies. That can come with many different symptoms, including a disruption to the sleep cycles we’re accustomed to. Today, we’re joined by Balance365 Coach Barbara St. Louis who specializes in women’s health and peri to postmenopausal wellness. She’s going to specifically address how we can improve our sleep habits during menopause. She explains what helps, what doesn’t, and provides actionable plans for moving towards better sleep in this season of life. Enjoy! And if you haven’t grabbed our free guide, Binge Eating: Why You Do It & How to Stop , you can do so here . Download your copy today and start learning how to better manage strong urges to overeat. Key Points What is menopause? Why menopause impacts sleep What you can do to manage sleep and menopause Mentions: The North American Menopause Society website Episode 145: Menopause – Weight Loss, Wellness, And Learning To Thrive Episode 122: What Is A Fat Loss Workout? Related Content: E pisode 128: How Sleep Impacts Fat Loss E pisode 73: What An Obesity Specialist Wants You To Know About Weight Loss…
Episode Overview Intermittent fasting has gained a lot of popularity in recent years, but is it really as effective as everyone says? Does it actually lead to sustainable weight loss? We decided it was time to sit down and give you the straight facts about intermittent fasting and why it may or may not be the best approach for weight loss or better health. And don’t forget! We have a free resource for you to download now: 5 Reasons You're Craving Sugar . Click the link to get it sent straight to your inbox and start learning how to manage your sugar cravings today! Key Points What is intermittent fasting and why is it so popular? Why intermittent fasting is different for men vs women What the science shows (and doesn’t show) Jen’s experience with intermittent fasting Mentions: 5 Reasons You're Craving Sugar download Related Content: Episode 165: How To Break Free From Emotional Eating Episode 136: 3 Strategies To Manage Stress Eating Urges…
Episode Overview Many of our members and listeners have weight loss goals and desire to work towards those goals in a balanced, healthy, and sustainable way. But what happens when your partner is on a different path? Can it create a stronger bond or does it lead to friction and disconnection? On today’s podcast we discuss both the positive and negative impacts that weight loss journeys can have in marriage and partnerships. We also share how we’ve handled our own weight loss journeys within our relationships. Join us! And if you haven’t grabbed our free guide, Binge Eating: Why You Do It & How to Stop , be sure to do so right now! Download your copy today and start learning how to manage your binge eating behaviors. Key Points The difference between dieting and sustainable weight loss journeys The main ways we’ve seen weight loss impact our members’ relationships Jen and Annie’s experiences with weight loss and marriage Mentions: Episode 160: When You Feel Triggered By Your Partner's Diet Or Weight Loss Binge Eating: Why You Do It & How to Stop download Related Content: Episode 70: How To Ask For What You Need Without Apology Episode 154: How Stress Impacts Your Weight…
Episode Overview If there’s one question we get asked the most on social media, we’d say it’s most likely this: “Why can’t I stay motivated?” In today’s episode, we dive into why motivation seems to come and go so quickly, what you can do to create more, and what you can do when your motivation seems to have packed its bags and left the building. While you’re here, make sure you grab our new, FREE guide: 5 Reasons You’re Craving Sugar right here and get it sent directly to your inbox! It *is* possible to manage your sugar cravings! Key Points Where does motivation come from? How to create more motivation What to do when you’ve lost your motivation Related Content: Episode 122: What Is A Fat Loss Workout? Episode 152: The Balance365 Fat Loss Formula…
Episode Overview Today we are joined by our friend and former Balance365 Team Member, Alison Tedford. Alison is an author, marketer, mom, and a Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion Consultant who has been working in the field for over a decade. She’s here with us today to discuss common ableist issues in the health and wellness industry as well as share what people in the health and wellness industry can do to better support the disabled community. We’re also offering our free guide, Binge Eating: Why You Do It & How to Stop , to help you start managing your binge eating behaviors. Interested? Download your copy here ! Key Points What is ableism? Common ableist issues in the health and wellness industry What we can do about it Mentions: Alison Tedford’s Website Alison’s Inclusion Checklist Alison’s Book Alison on Instagram World Health Organization: Social Determinants of Health Binge Eating: Why You Do It & How to Stop download Related Content: Episode 155: The Power Of Lifting Women Up With Molly Galbraith Episode 132: Member Spotlight: Navigating Balance365, Fat Loss And A Diabetes Diagnosis…
Episode Overview Self-control. The diet and fitness industry’s FAVORITE catchphrase! And perhaps you feel like you struggle with your own self-control. Maybe you’re often grappling with the thought of “just eat one” or feel like you’re in the fast-food drive-thru line more often than you should be. In today’s podcast episode, we’re talking about the four main reasons we see women struggling with self-control around food and sharing the steps they can take to change it. Because, believe it or not, you CAN have more self-control around food! Let us share how! We’re also offering our FREE download, 5 Reasons You’re Craving Sugar . Just click here to get it sent right to your inbox so you can start managing those cravings for sweets today! Key Points Why deprivation causes us to make poor decisions Why environment plays a huge factor in our self-control Why your all or nothing mindset is keeping you stuck How knowing what truly matters to you can help you stay the course Mentions: 5 Reasons You’re Craving Sugar download Episode 140: The Minnesota Starvation Experiment: What You Need To Know Related Content: Episode 151: How To Curate Your Environment For Weight Loss Success Episode 53: Secrets From The Eating Lab: Dr. Traci Mann…
Episode Overview As a woman who’s lost a substantial amount of weight, Annie has some insider tips for those who find themselves discouraged by the amount of weight they want to lose. In this bite-sized podcast, Annie shares some of the experiences she had while on her weight loss journey. In true Balance365 fashion, Annie gets real about the good, the bad, and the feelings she never anticipated having. Join her as she discusses what you can expect before, during, and after your weight loss journey. And if you haven’t grabbed our free guide, Binge Eating: Why You Do It & How to Stop , you can do so here. Download your copy today and start learning how to manage your binge eating behaviors. Key Points What to do if you worry a lot about your weight Why relying on motivation isn’t as important as you may think Things you can work on accepting about your weight loss journey How to handle uncomfortable emotions that can come up with weight loss Mentions: Episode 161: How To Celebrate Weight Loss Binge Eating: Why You Do It & How to Stop guide Related Content: Episode 150: Weight Loss Simplified Episode 156: 4 Beliefs That Make Weight Loss Difficult…
Episode Overview With the stress of living through a pandemic, homeschooling kids, and not seeing extended family or friends for months, it’s no surprise to see an uptick in alcohol consumption. Our question to you is: is it helping or hindering your health and wellness? Is it making weight loss more difficult than it has to be? We’re here today to have some real talk about alcohol consumption. And whatever your reasons for drinking, we aren’t here to judge. What we are here to do is inform you, so you can make empowered decisions for your life. While you’re here, make sure you grab our new, FREE guide: 5 Reasons You’re Craving Sugar right here and get it sent directly to your inbox! Key Points The challenges of talking about alcohol consumption What is moderate drinking? The common issues we see around drinking Tips to reduce consumption Mentions: National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism Center for Disease Control and Prevention National Institutes of Health 5 Reasons You’re Craving Sugar download Related Content: Episode 64: How Alcohol Impacts Your Health And Fitness Goals Episode 104: Tigers In The Room: Healing Trauma Through Food With Julie Peters Episode 106: Staying Calm And Healthy In Chaos Part 1 Episode 107: Staying Calm And Healthy In Chaos Part 2 Episode 108: Staying Calm And Healthy In Chaos Part 3…
Episode Overview Metabolism is a word that’s common but often misunderstood. Most of you have probably experienced hearing “fast” or “slow” metabolism. Maybe you’ve even put those labels on yourself. But are they fact or fiction? Because metabolism is not fully understood, the word is often combined with fancy science-sounding lingo and used to sell people diet and supplement protocols that won’t actually do anything (except empty your bank account). And we don’t want that for you. So… What’s the truth about metabolism? We dive into that this week! And, if you haven’t yet picked up our FREE guide, "Binge Eating: Why You Do It & How to Stop" yet, click here to download: https://www.hhhmprograms.com/binge-eating . Key Points What is metabolism? How common are fast and slow metabolisms? Can you influence your metabolism? Mentions: Examine.com article: Does metabolism vary between two people? Related Content: Episode 128: How Sleep Impacts Fat Loss Episode 105: Is Exercise Necessary For Weight Loss? Episode 154: How Stress Impacts Your Weight…
Episode Overview Today, Annie is in the interview chair, and Jen is the host as they discuss the things Annie would have done differently during her weight loss journey. For years, Annie felt stuck spinning her wheels going nowhere. When she finally found her groove she went from a size 24 to a size 12. In this episode, Annie shares her history with dieting and her top four things that would have helped her achieve her weight loss goals faster. Also, if you missed our recent enrollment for coaching and don’t want to miss out on the opportunity to join next time, our waitlist is open! Sign up now and get priority access before we open to the public: https://www.hhhmprograms.com/balance365-coaching-waitlist . Key Points Looking back at Annie’s history with dieting What happened when she chose to ditch dieting for good Annie lists four things that would have made her weight loss journey faster Mentions: Balance365 Coaching Waitlist Episode 93: Annie's Story: Self Love As Fuel For Change Related Content: Episode 142: How Weight Loss Obsession Leads To Weight Gain Episode 150: Weight Loss Simplified…
1 Episode 166: Member Spotlight — How Jasmine Learned To Trust In Herself + Her 50lb Weight Loss Story 48:33
Episode Overview In today’s episode, we are joined by Balance365 member Jasmine to talk about her journey with us! Before joining Balance365, Jasmine had been a hardcore dieter, driven by quick results and never able to sustain them. But her life looks quite a bit different now and we hope you love listening to her story. Also, Balance365 Coaching is open for enrollment RIGHT NOW! Visit https://www.hhhmprograms.com/balance365-coaching-eos to join us (like Jasmine did) to work with our coaches and start making consistent and sustainable progress today! Key Points How Jasmine went from hardcore dieter to feeling happy and safe in her body Why scaling her habits helped her navigate the pandemic How self-trust became Jasmine’s new superpower Related Content: Episode 93: Annie's Story: Self Love As Fuel For Change Episode 115: Cut The Crap: Tough Love From Jen & Annie…
Episode Overview Emotional eating. You’ve done it. We’ve all done it. It’s part of the human experience. In today’s podcast episode, we address what emotional eating is (*hint* it’s not just stress eating), why it may be helpful or harmful, and how to take back control if it isn’t serving you and your goals. We are also hosting out our super popular workshop very soon—Cut the Crap: How to Simplify Weight Loss and Get Out of Your Own Way. We’ll be going live to help clarify topics like weight loss, nutrition, and exercise. At the end, you’ll have a much clearer path on the steps you can take to SIMPLIFY your weight loss process. You can register for this workshop at https://www.balance365life.com/free-workshop . We can’t WAIT to see you there! Key Points What is emotional eating? Why emotional eating isn’t always the same as stress eating The one question to ask yourself to break free from emotional eating Related Content: Episode 136: 3 Strategies To Manage Stress Eating Urges Episode 157: Can I Lose Weight While Eating Like A Normal Person? Episode 150: Weight Loss Simplified…
Episode Overview Do you ever feel like you can’t get out of your own way? Do you feel like you’re continually creating problems for yourself? It could look something like: Workout procrastination. Using food to distract us from hard things. Avoiding creating goals because we’re afraid we won’t reach them. Telling ourselves, “why even bother?” when we know we can’t commit 100%. In this week’s episode, we want to share the steps we take to break free when we are caught in this nasty cycle. Tune in to find out how you can stop the cycle of self-sabotage for good and steadily move toward your weight loss goals. And back by popular demand! We’re presenting our workshop “Cut the Crap: How to Simplify Weight Loss and Get Out of Your Own Way” in May! We’re going to be discussing what works, what doesn’t, and how you can pursue weight loss by working WITH your body and brain, not against them. Register here to reserve your spot: https://www.balance365life.com/free-workshop . Key Points What is self-sabotage and how does it affect us? Why we self-sabotage The antidote to self-sabotaging actions Related Content: Episode 130: Self-Compassion vs Self-Complacency: What's The Difference? Episode 151: How To Curate Your Environment For Weight Loss Success Episode 148: You've Been Bingeing For A Month Straight… Now What…
Episode Overview It’s popular to think that shame is a great motivator for weight loss. Just take a look at shows like The Biggest Loser. A lot of women use shameful feelings about their own body as a reason to go through diet extremes, or use exercise as punishment for what they ate. And while their new “healthy” journey may FEEL like a positive step in the beginning, we believe that if women don’t learn to healthfully process moments of body shame, they will almost always be setting down a path that is most likely to result in weight gain—not weight loss. But it doesn’t have to be that way. And in this episode, we are here to explain how your weight loss journey can look very different from what you’ve been conditioned to believe. We’d also like to announce that we are bringing back our incredibly popular workshop in May—Cut the Crap: how to simplify weight loss and get out of your own way. We’ll be going live with you all to deliver a little real talk, a little tough love, but best of all, help you clear out all the clutter you have about weight loss, nutrition, exercise…. and SIMPLIFY your process. You can find the link to register for this workshop at https://www.balance365life.com/free-workshop . We can’t WAIT to see you there! Key Points The connection between body shame and future weight gain The steps you can take to stop feeling shame about your body Can I love myself and still want to lose weight? Mentions: Relation between dieting and weight gain study Related Content: Binge Eating: Why You Do It & How to Stop download Episode 124: What Is Body Neutrality? Episode 114: 4 Beliefs Getting In The Way Of Finding Your Healthiest Weight…
Episode Overview If there’s one thing we here at Balance365 are certain of, it’s that weight loss can be very confusing. “Buy this meal plan. Do this exercise. Follow weight loss gurus to inspire you. Don’t do that exercise. Don’t eat that. Maybe this time it will work. Why did I fail again? Maybe this new thing will work.” We understand that it can feel very frustrating to feel confused, stuck, and unable to move toward your weight loss goals. That’s why we sat down to explain the most important thing that you need to understand about weight loss. If you want to know more, download and listen today! If you’re feeling confused and tired of the dieter cycle and want to lose weight (and keep it off for good!), our Balance365 Coaching program is for you! Enrollment is currently closed but you can join our waitlist for the next time the doors open: https://www.hhhmprograms.com/balance365-coaching-waitlist Key Points Why weight loss isn’t a race to run The three things that predict weight loss “failure” What a dieter identity looks like and the solution to it The most important thing to know about weight loss Jen and Annie's weight loss stories Mentions: Josh Hillis' book Related Content: Episode 141: The Real Cost Of Dieting (That Nobody Talks About) Episode 129: How To Reconnect With Your Body After Dieting…
Episode Overview It seems like almost any conversation about celebrating weight loss right now is either, “Yes, do it all the time,” or “No, don’t ever.” But at Balance365, we believe that this topic requires a lot of nuance and conversation. And that’s what this week’s podcast is about! Join us as we discuss how you can confidently celebrate weight loss in others and yourself! And if you haven’t grabbed it yet, we have a free guide available for you: “Binge Eating: Why You Do It & How to Stop”. Download your copy today and start identifying and changing the overeating habits that can hold you back from your weight loss goals! Key Points Why celebrating weight loss can be so controversial Learn why unsolicited comments about others’ bodies cause harm What to do if you want to celebrate others’ weight loss What to do if you want to celebrate your own weight loss Mentions: Binge Eating: Why You Do It & How to Stop Related Content: Episode 142: How Weight Loss Obsession Leads To Weight Gain Episode 156: 4 Beliefs That Make Weight Loss Difficult…
Episode Overview So your partner (or someone close to you) has started a diet. They may even be dropping weight fast. We know it can be challenging to watch someone go through a health and wellness journey that is different from your own. It can bring up a range of feelings from jealousy to resentment to inadequacy. If you need help processing your emotions or beliefs around this, Jen and Annie are here to tackle that topic today. Join them on this week’s podcast episode as they discuss what you can do when you feel triggered by your partner’s diet or weight loss. PS - if you missed your chance to enroll in Balance365, don’t worry! Get on the waitlist for our next enrollment period and you’ll get access to spots 24 hours early.. Just click here to join: https://www.hhhmprograms.com/balance365-coaching-waitlist Key Points Why we can feel triggered about a partner’s diet or weight loss How we can unpack and process our feelings and beliefs around other people’s diets and weight loss Understanding that your feelings and beliefs are your responsibility What you can do if you have children in your family How to understand how everyone is on their own journey Related Content: Episode 147: How To Set Boundaries With Problematic People You Love Episode 87: Parenting While Triggered: Navigating Motherhood As You Heal Episode 112: How To Talk To Kids About Food During Times Of Uncertainty With Terri Ney…
Episode Overview Let’s talk rebellious eating! When you decide to reject diet culture or food rules, you may find yourself eating without abandon… And unable to stop. Every time you think about passing on dessert or curtailing your evening snacking, the rebel inside you awakens and demands food. While it can feel good to rebel against diet culture (we highly recommend it), we also know that rebellious eating for long periods of time may not be serving your long time health and wellness goals. So how do we meet in the middle? Is it possible to tame our inner rebel? Annie and Jen discuss just that in this week’s podcast. And if you’ve been feeling out of control around food, we also have our free digital guide: Binge Eating: Why You Do It & How to Stop . Just click the link and we’ll send it straight to your inbox! Key Points What is rebellious eating? How feelings of scarcity around food can lead to rebellious eating rebellious eating may become a strong identity but won’t work for everyone How to stop defiant eating patterns that can lead to negative outcomes Related Content: Binge Eating: Why You Do It & How to Stop Episode 141: The Real Cost Of Dieting (That Nobody Talks About) Episode 129: How To Reconnect With Your Body After Dieting…
Episode Overview “WHO AM I?!” We couldn’t help but laugh out loud in this week’s podcast episode with Balance365er, Roxanne. Roxanne’s whole life shifted when she became pregnant and she was struggling. She turned to Balance365 coaching to learn how to kick some new habits into gear as a new mom and was blown away by the results. Now she’s down 20lbs, has an adorable little daughter joining her on her journey, and she feels more like herself than ever before. But we’ll let her explain the rest in her own wonderful way. We can’t wait for you to listen! Don’t forget that Balance365 coaching will be opening for enrollment at the end of the week, the same coaching program that helped Roxanne make these incredible changes! If you haven’t joined our waitlist, here’s your chance to sign up and get priority access to claim your spot before we sell out! https://www.hhhmprograms.com/balance365-coaching-waitlist Key Points Learn about Roxanne’s mindset shifts from disordered eater to empowered and confident in her choices Why the smallest adjustments can have the biggest impact How we can break the generational cycle of diet culture The importance of stepping into our authentic selves Mentions: James Fell Related Content: Episode 149: Member Spotlight – How Phaedra's Mindset Shift Led To A 30lb Weight Loss Episode 116: Why Weight Loss Plans Fail Parents…
Episode Overview Can you eat like a “normal person” and still lose weight? What does “normal eating” even look like? If you find yourself a bit confused, you’re not alone. In this week’s podcast, Jen addresses what normal eating looks like and how you can integrate normal eating with your weight loss goals. Come listen and find out what our Balance365 members are doing to eat like normal people and still meeting their weight loss goals! Make sure to join us for our free 3-part workshop, 3 Steps to End Emotional Eating (and Stop Self-Sabotage), beginning March 9th. We’ll share the process we use to help our members work through emotional eating and self-sabotage behaviors. You can sign up at www.balance365life.com/endemotionaleating . Key Points Find out what a “normal eater” is Learn what dieting behaviors disrupt normal eating patterns and how that harms us Common beliefs around our eating habits that hold us back Related Content: Episode 156: 4 Beliefs That Make Weight Loss Difficult Episode 144: Member Spotlight: Erin's 38lbs Weight Loss + Freedom From Diets Forever Binge Eating: Why You Do It and How to Stop…
Episode Overview You're trying to lose weight and feel like you're doing everything right, yet you still aren't seeing any progress. What gives? Well, it's often what we believe about weight loss that can determine if we succeed or not in reaching our goals. In today's episode, Annie shares some of the common beliefs that women have about weight loss that are actually holding them back from seeing results. Tune in to learn how you can shift your focus, create new beliefs, and start seeing weight loss success! We've also got something exciting coming up! In less then two weeks Jen and Annie are hosting a FREE three-part workshop called 3 Steps to End Emotional Eating (and Stop Self-Sabotage!). You can sign up here . Key Points We don’t need to be hyper-focused on fat loss Weight loss is more about food and less about exercise The scale isn’t your best measurement of success There is no finish line Related Content: Weight Loss Without Restriction Facebook group Episode 133: What vs How You Eat And Why It Matters For Fat Loss Binge Eating: Why You Do It & How to Stop…
1 Episode 155: The Power Of Lifting Women Up With Molly Galbraith 1:10:11
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1:10:11Episode Overview Hey friends! Today we have an amazing guest on our show: Molly Galbraith, co-founder of Girls Gone Strong! Girls Gone Strong is a movement dedicated to women's health, strength, and empowerment. Recently Molly wrote an essential and much-needed book called Strong Women Lift Each Other Up. It's an actionable guide to creating a better life for yourself and a better world with more opportunities for women and girls. Jen and I were lucky enough to get advanced copies, but you can get yours on March 9th! We can't wait for you to listen! Workshop Alert! Join us for our upcoming three-part workshop, 3 Steps to End Emotional Eating (and Stop Self-Sabotage!) next month. You can sign up here . Key Points The funny story behind how Jen and Annie met Molly. What is scarcity mindset and why do we feel like we’re not enough? The importance of building trust and relationships with other women. How building and breaking friendships and relationships can make us stronger. Mentions: Molly’s book “Strong Women Lift Each Other Up” Related Content: Episode 111: Building Friendships From The Heart With Jules Webber Episode 147: How To Set Boundaries With Problematic People You Love…
Episode Overview We live in a culture obsessed with food whether it’s talking about carbs, calories, or chemicals. It can all feel very… Stressful. Yeah, that’s the word! And that’s also the topic of today’s podcast: how stress can impact your weight. At Balance365, we believe there are bigger, foundational issues people totally miss that are wreaking havoc on their health and ability to lose (or maintain) their weight. Come join Annie and Jen as they share how to “zoom out” and re-prioritize healthy habits that can help you better manage your stress. Grab our free ebook: Why You Binge and What to Do About It Key Points What is stress? Can you control your response to stress? Why you need just the right amount of stress How high and low stress can impact your weight Mentions: Traci Mann - Secrets from the Eating Lab Related Content: Episode 136: 3 Strategies To Manage Stress Eating Urges Episode 98: How To Reduce Stress In 2 Minutes Or Less With Kelli Weber Episode 128: How Sleep Impacts Fat Loss…
1 Episode 153: Member Spotlight - Finding Self Love, Self Care, And Sustainable Weight Loss With Kiki 36:18
Episode Overview Meet Balance365 lifer and ray of sunshine, Kiki! In this week’s episode, Kiki shares their journey from day one of becoming a Balance365 member to where they are now, and how much they’ve grown along the way. Before joining Balance365, Kiki was starving themself and exercising twice a day in the name of weight loss. They felt hungry constantly and were struggling with depression. But with support from the Balance365 community, Kiki had a “holy sh*t moment.” They learned how to break free from guilt, shame, and hate and are now focused on living life fully and unapologetically. We hope that when you get to know them, you’ll smile just as much as we did! Enjoy! Join the Balance365 Coaching Waitlist. Enrollment opens March 12th! Come be social with us! Balance365 Facebook: Weight Loss Without Restriction Balance365 Instagram: @balance365life Key Points Kiki, Jen, and Annie discuss how you can navigate the “messy-middle” of self-love and fat loss Is weighing yourself helpful or hurtful to *your* journey How Balance365 helps people walk in their truth and learn to live unapologetically. How having a community that offers both compassion and support but also tough love is key to your success. Related Content: Episode 93: Annie's Story: Self Love As Fuel For Change Episode 115: Cut The Crap: Tough Love From Jen & Annie…
At Balance365 we specialize in keeping things simple . That’s why our clients are so successful - we cut through the overwhelm and help them create plans that work for their lives! Today we’re going to share a very simple formula we use in our coaching program for figuring out what you need to do to lose weight. Now, don’t get us wrong. Just because something is simple , doesn’t mean it’s easy ! Humans LOVE to complicate things… That’s why so many people benefit from the support and accountability we have inside Balance365 Coaching! ;) If you’re looking for clarity on how to get started or why you’re stuck, you’re going to love the game-changing Balance365 Fat Loss Formula. Enjoy! Related Content: Episode 150: Weight Loss Simplified Get on the waitlist to join Balance365 Coaching in March!…
Time and again, women tell us they believe they could reach their goals if they just had more willpower or motivation. After almost a decade of experience coaching thousands of women, we know the time and energy you put towards trying to summon more willpower would be better put towards creating an environment that supports your goals. In this episode, we dive into some of the myths that exist about willpower and motivation and chat about how you can curate your environment to make pursuing your goals feel effortless. Enjoy! Get on the waitlist to join Balance365 Coaching in March!…
Are you struggling with your weight right now? If the answer is yes, you are not alone. There are a multitude of reasons why people struggle with managing their weight… One of the most common being that they’re making it far more complicated than it has to be. Let’s be honest. Most of these quick-fix plans are rooted in control and restriction, whether it’s eliminating certain foods or only eating at certain times. This is all fine until… Life hits. REAL life: work, stress, routines, routine changes, kids, etc. The weight loss goal you have may FEEL realistic, but if the method doesn’t work for your life (your REAL life!) the results won’t stick. In this episode, we’re getting into the nitty gritty of what you really need for sustainable weight loss. And bonus… We’re giving you a sneak peek at our super secret Core 4 habits. Pull up a seat and hang with us for a while! Get on the waitlist to join Balance365 Coaching in March!…
You are in for a treat today, friends! In this episode, we’re interviewing a super special Balance365 member from eastern Canada! Phaedra is an incredibly kind, compassionate woman who is SO supportive of all the members in our community. She’s also a mom, a full-time therapist, and she’s lost (and kept off) 30lbs with the Balance365 program. Like many of our guests Phaedra shares that she didn’t lose weight because she made it the focal point of her life…. Rather she opened herself up to a whole different perspective: the Balance365 program. In this episode you will not only hear the details of Phaedra’s journey, you will learn that what she values most are the mindset shifts and insights into her health.It all starts with how we think and view ourselves, my friends. We know many of you will relate to Phaedra on a deeply personal level and be inspired by the change she’s created in her life. Are you in? Balance365 Coaching opens up for a select number of women January 8th. Get on the waitlist so you can claim a spot before they’re gone! Join the Balance365 Coaching Waitlist…
Maybe you’ve been on holidays, a vacation or just a month-long binge and now you’re feeling some regret. So what do you do? You’re likely feeling an impulse to jump on a diet bandwagon… But will that work? In this episode, we’re going to tell you exactly what to do and what not to do when you’re feeling the urge to “reverse the damage” of overeating. We hope you’ll join us! Get on the waitlist to join Balance365 Coaching in January!…
Do you struggle to set boundaries with problematic people you love? In this week’s episode we have a very special guest, the one and only Dr. Jody Carrington from Alberta, Canada! She walks Jen and Annie through considerations to make when setting boundaries in relationships that are important to us. Don’t let Dr. Jody’s title fool you - she will have you laughing hysterically the whole way through this episode! Dr. Jody is a Child Psychologist by trade however she very rarely actually treats children. She believes the key to raising healthy, well, and thriving children is to make an impact on the grownups closest to them. If you’ve been with us for a while, you’ll know that we're long-time admirers of Dr. Jody’s work. We promise you after listening to this episode, you’ll be fan-girling over Dr. Jody too! Enjoy! Get on the waitlist to join Balance365 Coaching in January!…
Is it possible to lose weight during the holidays? This can seem like a trick question - with all the food and social gatherings that naturally come with the season, it seems near impossible for anyone to stick to a healthy eating routine, let alone lose weight. But some Balance365 members have done it. How? You’re about to find out! In today’s episode, we discuss the important mindset shifts that need to happen to help women who want to stay on track with their goals over the holidays. We also share some important considerations every individual should make before deciding if that’s even a realistic goal for you. The episode wraps up with Annie interviewing three Balance365 members who’ve managed to change their chaotic eating habits over the holidays and enjoy healthy, balanced meals throughout the year. Join the Balance365 Coaching Wait List for January!…
We have a returning guest to Balance365 Radio: trainer, coach and author Amanda Thebe! Amanda is a quick-witted, straight talking, down-to-earth woman as well as a force of nature and advocate for women who are experiencing what she calls menopause hell . Amanda has made it her mission to help women feel healthy and confident in their changing bodies during midlife and beyond. Join us as Jen, Annie and Amanda discuss weight loss, wellness and learning to thrive during mid-life, while reminding us there is so much to celebrate and be thankful for. Enjoy! Get on the waitlist to join Balance365 Coaching in January!…
On today’s episode, we’re joined by Balance365er Erin Powers. Like many of us, she has an extensive dieting history. Erin started dieting when she was just a teen, right up until she joined Balance365... TWENTY years of her life spent dieting, with very little to show for it. In our experience coaching thousands of women, a dieting history dating back several decades is NOT uncommon. As you will hear in today’s episode, Erin is now OFF of the diet roller coaster and enjoying a life full of self-love, balanced eating, and moving her body in a way that feels good for her. The result? She’s also down 38lbs! Erin is here to remind us that restriction-free weight loss is possible for ANYONE who is ready to embrace the Balance365 philosophy. We hope you enjoy learning about Erin’s journey reclaiming the healthy and happy life she deserves, in a body she feels comfortable in. Balance365 Black Friday Sale Come be social with us! Balance365 Facebook: Weight Loss Without Restriction Balance365 Instagram: @balance365life…
If you’re a resident of North America, you know we’ve entered a season where we’re bombarded with high energy food for several months. Many people eat their way through Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Years… Feeling totally out of control and unable to moderate their eating habits. This usually leads to jumping on board a diet bandwagon come January. (Repeat every year, forever!) No judgement, you do you, boo! But... What if we told you there IS a different way to navigate these food-abundant seasons all while honoring your desire to celebrate and enjoy what each holiday has to offer? What if we told you that you can enjoy these celebrations while also not going off the rails? It’s possible, friends! Join us as we share our best tips to help you get through this last quarter of a seemingly endless 2020. Let’s get you set up for success in 2021! SIGN UP to get in on the Cut the Crap Video Series here! Come be social with us! Balance365 Facebook: Weight Loss Without Restriction Balance365 Instagram: @balance365life Join the Balance365 Coaching waitlist…
We live in a culture that has normalized becoming preoccupied with the size and shape of bodies. This has led us to the point that some people only experience their lives through the lens of weight and size. Be honest: how much time do you spend thinking about your body? If you’ve been around for a while, you’ll know that at Balance365 we absolutely believe you can have weight loss goals. But, we also believe that it’s detrimental to that goal AND your overall health, to be consumed by it. Join us as we dive into the obsessions that drive the quick-fix diet culture we live in and uncover how they impact our bodies on a physiological level. Could the pursuit of thinness actually be leading people to gain weight year after year? Tune in to find out! SIGN UP to get in on the Cut the Crap Video Series here! Come be social with us! Balance365 Facebook: Weight Loss Without Restriction Balance365 Instagram: @balance365life Join the Balance365 Coaching waitlist…
The diet industry is a $72 billion dollar industry with a 95% failure rate. Yes, you read that correctly. Depending on how long you’ve been following along with us, that may or may not come as a shock to you. The world spends a lot of money on weight loss products with very little in return. Still... The financial repercussions are not what we consider to be the most damaging consequence of jumping on board diet bandwagons. In this episode, we’re uncovering the REAL cost of dieting. Don’t worry, we won’t leave you in a pit of despair. In the name of balance, we’ve made sure to end this episode on a high note, showing you that it’s possible to take the lessons you’ve learned from your experience and channel them into something positive. Enjoy! SIGN UP to get in on the Cut the Crap Video Series here! Come be social with us! Balance365 Facebook: Weight Loss Without Restriction Balance365 Instagram: @balance365life Join the Balance365 Coaching waitlist…
When you go on a diet, you lose weight. End of story. Right? Wrong. In 1945 one of the first and most comprehensive studies on the physical and psychological effects of semi-starvation was completed. This study was later dubbed the Minnesota Starvation Experiment. The findings that researchers learned from this experiment still hold true today. Only now we know it’s not just those who have endured periods of starvation who will suffer with these consequences, DIETERS will suffer with them too. Whether you’re a past dieter, current dieter, or a person looking to jump off of the diet hamster wheel…this episode is going to knock your socks off. Enjoy! Come be social with us! Balance365 Facebook: Weight Loss Without Restriction Balance365 Instagram: @balance365life Join the Balance365 Coaching waitlist…
When Halloween rolls around many people find themselves thinking: “resist, resist, resist!” But when 9PM hits they’re diving in, eating all their favourite candy bars and bargaining with themselves for the next hour. “Just one. Ok, just one more. Maybe two. No, three more!” (Repeats until dried up tootsie rolls are the only candies left! Don’t worry, you aren’t alone. Halloween is a fun holiday that can quickly become a nightmare for those who feel powerless to the candy extravaganza. Join Jen and Annie for today’s podcast episode where they share their four best tips for moderating Halloween treats. The goal? Learn to enjoy the Halloween season while mindfully indulging - no more white-knuckling through it! Come be social with us! Balance365 Facebook: Weight Loss Without Restriction Balance365 Instagram: @balance365life Join the Balance365 Coaching Waitlist…
In today’s episode, we interview a highly sought-after woman in the health and fitness industry, Brianna Battles. We’re lucky enough to call Brianna our friend and have been privy to her journey of redefining what being an athlete means for her as she transitioned to becoming a mom and entrepreneur. Today, Brianna is a powerhouse in the health and fitness industry- training with high level athletes and also trains coaches on how to work with pre and postnatal athletes. One of Brianna’s main messages: you have to learn how to work through your “athlete brain” mindset if you want to live a healthy, happy, balanced life. If you identify as an athlete or high-achiever in any capacity this podcast is going to really hit home. And bonus: if you are a personal trainer, coach, physiotherapist, or any professional who works with a pre/postnatal population, Brianna’s course: Pregnancy and Postpartum Athleticism is on sale this week. Enjoy! Come be social with us! Balance365 Facebook: Weight Loss Without Restriction Balance365 Instagram: @balance365life Join the Balance365 Coaching waitlist…
This week we’re joined by Balance365 member, Megan. Megan is a busy, full-time physician and mom to 3 boys. She is a long-time member who has had an incredible journey with us. Megan says Balance365 has been life-changing for her, helping her gain body acceptance, food freedom, and countless other habits that support her in feeling physically and emotionally well. Not only have the habits that Megan implemented resulted in 45lbs of fat loss, she’s also become passionate about calling out diet culture and modeling healthy food and body relationships to her children. As a mom and a healthcare provider, Megan’s schedule is F-U-L-L! If you’ve ever thought you’re “too busy” for Balance365, we know this episode will change your mind! Come be social with us! Balance365 Facebook: Weight Loss Without Restriction Balance365 Instagram: @balance365life Join the Balance365 Coaching waitlist…
Many of us are finding ourselves feeling an extraordinaire amount of stress right now. For some that means finding themselves elbow-deep in a bag of chips at the end of the day, feeling like it’s all they have to look forward to that’s just for them. While we may not be able to control our circumstances right now, we can still learn new strategies for coping with them that don’t involve eating. Follow along as Jen and Annie teach us how reframe our thoughts around stress triggers and how to rewire new habits that can keep us out of the chip bag at night! Come be social with us! Balance365 Facebook: Weight Loss Without Restriction Balance365 Instagram: @balance365life Join the Balance365 Coaching waitlist…
“I know what to do. But... why don’t I do it?” You’d be surprised at how often we hear this inside of our community. The real question is: you know what you want, but HOW do you take action, and keep taking action? In this episode Jen and Annie break down the five stages of change women cycle through, and what to avoid to keep from feeling stuck and unable to commit to habit change. Also… Stick around to the end to listen in on a coaching session as Jen coaches Annie through her ambivalence towards a super common habit struggle. Come be social with us! Balance365 Facebook: Weight Loss Without Restriction Balance365 Instagram: @balance365life Join the Balance365 Coaching waitlist…
Do you have a healthy relationship with food? In a world consumed with finding the “perfect” way to eat, many do not realize when mindful nutrition turns into an unhealthy preoccupation. It can have a profound impact on an individual’s life and seep into every facet of their being. In this week’s episode, Jen and Annie are joined by Dr. Ebony Butler, a psychologist, food relationship strategist and Balance365 expert panelist. Join us as Dr. Ebony delves into her passion for helping women heal their relationship with food and how she teaches them to show up in their bodies and lives in ways they can feel proud of. Come be social with us! Balance365 Facebook: Weight Loss Without Restriction Balance365 Instagram: @balance365life Join the Balance365 Coaching waitlist…
Most of us have a basic understanding of nutrition. If you think back to your elementary nutrition lessons you probably learned about food groups and how different types of foods fuel and nourish our bodies. The idea of nutrition education is to instill healthy, regulated eating habits in children. Over the years nutrition education has been obliterated by diet companies and food gurus. Now instead of learning about the basics we are bombarded with messaging about all that is bad and wrong. This has led us to become so consumed with what we’re eating that we’ve lost sight of how we’re eating. We’ve deviated from thinking about how food makes us feel (nutrition behaviour) because we’re so laser focused on eating the “right” things (nutrition choices). What if your obsession with the right and wrong foods is driving your dysregulated eating habits? Perhaps you eat a fairly nutritious diet, you just eat in a chaotic manner that leaves you overconsuming. Join Annie and Jen as they dive deep into their past dieting days, detail what it means to be a dysregulated eater and the steps they took to become nutritious, regulated eaters. Come be social with us! Balance365 Facebook: Weight Loss Without Restriction Balance365 Instagram: @balance365life Join the Balance365 Coaching waitlist…
Meet Balance365 member, Jennifer Hysuick! As a fellow ‘Saskie’, Jennifer hails from Saskatchewan Canada, with prairie girl roots akin to our very own co-founder, Jen Campbell. As a beloved and long time member of Balance365, Jennifer found herself at a crossroads amidst a sudden diabetes diagnosis. In this podcast Jennifer shares how she used Balance365 to navigate a new lifestyle without panicking or plunging herself back into restrictive dieting. Through perseverance and her B365 principles and practices, Jennifer was able to walk her journey with balance and self-compassion. Jennifer may have lost 80lbs in the process, but the self-love she gained was by far more important than the pounds. We hope you are as inspired by Jennifer as we are! Come be social with us! Balance365 Facebook: Weight Loss Without Restriction Balance365 Instagram: @balance365life Join the Balance365 Coaching waitlist…
So, you finally ditched the diet! Goodbye points and macros. So long detoxes and cleanses. Peace out, color-coded food containers. Much like closing the door on that narcissist ex… You’re relieved but also burdened with the thought of: “okay, now what do I do?” In this episode of Balance365 Radio, Jen and Annie discuss the three biggest hurdles you can expect after you quit dieting and how you can maneuver through them without the dieting drama. Come be social with us! Balance365 Facebook: Weight Loss Without Restriction Balance365 Instagram: @balance365life Join the Balance365 Coaching waitlist…
Whether you’re a Balance365 Veteran or new to our little corner of the internet (hi, welcome!) you’ve most likely heard us preach the importance of self-compassion. This is where some people get tripped up, feeling like self-compassion will lead them to abandoning their goals and becoming complacent in their lives. Spoiler alert… If you are practicing self-compassion, your goals will become more attainable to you than they ever have before. If you have abandoned your goals or feel yourself settling for less than you deserve, you are leaning into something else. Buckle up as Jen and Annie journey down the windy road of self-compassion while unpacking the commonly held belief that compassion can’t exist without complacency. Come be social with us! Balance365 Facebook: Weight Loss Without Restriction Balance365 Instagram: @balance365life…
1 Episode 129: How To Reconnect With Your Body After Dieting 1:04:00
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1:04:00We’ve been raised in a culture that values the outward appearance of our bodies over the inner workings of what truly makes us who we are. How often have you asked yourself: “Who am I? What do I want? What do I need?” We’ve all experienced moments in life where we have felt completely, intrinsically connected with ourselves. However, as we step into our roles as women and mothers, oftentimes we lose sight of the person we once felt deeply connected to. In this episode, Jen and Annie are joined by our expert Balance365 Coach, and Body Image Therapist, Deandra Dey. Join us as Deandra thoughtfully guides us through the intricacies and nuances of getting to know oneself, teaches us how to create space in our own lives for ourselves and how to fully arrive into our power as women. Come be social with us! Balance365 Facebook: Weight Loss Without Restriction Balance365 Instagram: @balance365life…
Do you wear “busy” as a badge of honor? Is Netflix constantly asking, “are you still watching?”We live in a culture that applauds productivity but also offers an abundance of cheap, accessible and soothing escape buttons from that exhausting, productive life. The CDC reports that approximately 1 in 3 Americans are regularly short on sleep. After working with thousands of women we’ve learned this is often due to being overscheduled on one hand and an over reliance on numbing behaviors (like Netflix-bingeing) on the other. You likely know what you gain by staying up late but have you ever considered what you are losing out on? In this episode, Jen and Annie discuss the benefits of maintaining a healthy relationship with sleep, detail how to create a wind-down routine for yourself and why Balance365 considers sleep a foundation for fat loss and overall health and wellness. Come be social with us! Balance365 Facebook: Weight Loss Without Restriction Balance365 Instagram: @balance365life…
In today’s world, with the abundance of diets and different eating philosophies, nutrition can feel confusing. At Balance365 we specialize in keeping nutrition simple. We know people are most likely to stick with plans that are balanced, flexible and can work in a variety of different situations. In today’s solo episode, Jen breaks down the basics of nutrition. She shares how we teach our members to assess their nutrition and food behaviors so they can start putting their time and energy into what matters. Come be social with us! Balance365 Facebook: Weight Loss Without Restriction Balance365 Instagram: @balance365life…
Before she found Balance365, she was floundering. Meet Erica, a high-achieving lawyer from California and Balance365 Coaching member. On her 39th birthday, Erica decided it was time to give herself the same level of care that she pours into her husband and children. And she hasn’t looked back! Erica learned how to value her body and to create sustainable health practices to become her “best self”. As a result, she has lost 25 pounds. Come be social with us! Balance365 Facebook: Weight Loss Without Restriction Balance365 Instagram: @balance365life…
If you find yourself hustling for weight loss, this episode is for you. This week’s brand new episode of Balance365 Life Radio has co-founders Jennifer Campbell and Annie Brees discussing considerations individuals can make when assessing if weight loss is a realistic goal. Wait wait wait. You mean there’s something else women could be doing with their time besides pursuing weight loss?! Listen in as Jen and Annie break down how continuously chasing weight loss can actually lead to the opposite, how to find your “best weight,” and what questions you can ask to figure out if weight loss is something you can expect from your habit changes. Come be social with us! Balance365 Facebook: Weight Loss Without Restriction Balance365 Instagram: @balance365life…
It’s so wonderful when you finally reach a place where you can look in the mirror and truly, honestly love your body. But what if you look in the mirror and really aren’t sure how to feel? In this episode of Balance365 Life Radio, co-founders Jennifer Campbell and Annie Brees are speaking to any woman who isn’t sure how - or even IF - she can love her body the way it is. From jiggly bits and stretch marks to short legs and long arms, feeling neutral about your body might just be the key to how you can move beyond what your body looks like and start living life on your terms. Come be social with us! Balance365 Facebook: Weight Loss Without Restriction Balance365 Instagram: @balance365life…
1 Episode 123: Gut Health 101: Myths, Truths And Everything In Between 1:06:23
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1:06:23You’re probably heard about the hype behind gut health. Probiotics, prebiotics and microbiomes - oh, my! Does the average person NEED to be concerned about their gut health or is it all just another trend that’ll be over faster than celery juice? You’re about to find that out plus a whole lot more in this week’s episode of Balance365 Life Radio. Jennifer Campbell and Annie Brees talk to registered dietitian Chelsey Love, who breaks down so many things about human gut health. It’s an amazing and super informative discussion about things like what gut health actually is , why you need to pay attention to how often you’re in the bathroom, whether your gut is connected to your immune system and whether that handful of mud your toddler just ate is going to help or hinder them. Come be social with us! Balance365 Facebook: Weight Loss Without Restriction Balance365 Instagram: @balance365life…
Can you have a workout that’s specifically about fat loss? Or is calling it a “fat loss workout” just marketing and click bait? This week, co-founders Jennifer Campbell and Annie Brees interview Balance365 coach Barbara St. Louis and agree to disagree on the intention behind whether or not a movement labeled as a “fat loss workout” is helpful, harmful or neither. Tune in to see which way you lean! Come be social with us! Balance365 Facebook: Weight Loss Without Restriction Balance365 Instagram: @balance365life…
Boundaries and habits and schedules, OH MY! Those are just a few of the topics Jennifer Campbell and Annie Brees are breaking down in this week’s episode of Balance365 Life Radio, where we’re talking ALL about how to all-or-something your summer. It’s summertime and the livin’ is… sometimes anything but easy. Kids are (still) home, schedules are lax and, thanks to a global pandemic, there’s definitely a different vibe to it all. The desire to have a perfect, all-or-nothing kind of summer is natural - but pretty unrealistic. That is, unless you can adjust your expectations, set yourself some boundaries and, when all else fails, go with the flow. Catch this week’s episode to discover six simple things you can do NOW to set yourself up for an amazing all-or-something kind of summer! Come be social with us! Balance365 Facebook: Weight Loss Without Restriction Balance365 Instagram: @balance365life…
It’s time to diversify your podcast playlist. A quick, solo show with host Annie Brees, this week’s episode of Balance365 Life Radio serves to shine a spotlight on six podcasts hosted by Black women inside the health, wellness and entrepreneurial space. Get ready to make notes because you’re definitely going to want to subscribe to these incredible shows.…
It’s not uncommon for women to panic about their weight, whether they have a significant event coming up (hello, weddings and vacays) or are going through a tough season in life (here’s looking at you, global pandemic). We’ve been there and remember well the feelings of shame, failure and inadequacy that come along with this. If weight panic is something you experience, know that you’re not alone. This week, Balance365 co-founder Annie Brees brings us a solo episode to talk not only about how to handle your own weight panic, but how you can also have compassion for others who are experiencing it too! Previous episodes mentioned in this podcast: Episode 7: What is Fat Phobia and How it Hurts Women at Every Size, with Bethany Bellingham Come be social with us! Balance365 Facebook: Weight Loss Without Restriction Balance365 Instagram: @balance365life…
At Balance365 we know change can feel hard. But we also know the hard stuff is what’s worth doing. On this week’s episode, Balance365 member Melissa Atchison shares how she was able to leave the dieting mindset behind and finally come to a place of balance after years of being entrenched in diet culture. Melissa speaks to how her own habits are changing the way her children treat themselves and their bodies, and what food freedom really looks like. Come be social with us! Balance365 Facebook: Weight Loss Without Restriction Balance365 Instagram: @balance365life…
Some of the greatest lessons about growth, change and resilience can be found as we parent our kids, especially our resistant kids. In this episode, Balance365 co-founder Jennifer Campbell shares the realizations she made while trying to homeschool a resistant child during the COVID-19 pandemic. She applies what she learned to health, wellness and weight loss goals. To the rebels in the audience this episode is for you. Learn how you can use your resistance and desire for autonomy to your advantage when working towards your goals. Follow us on Faceboo k and Instagram for more Balance365!…
Are you a busy parent who’s finding it impossible to stick to your diet? Do you struggle with weight loss now more than any other time in your life? Do you feel frustrated your family won’t get on board with your changes? We hear you. Change can be hard to implement, and even harder when you have other people and schedules to work around. In this podcast we discuss 3 reasons weight loss plans fail parents and offer some food for thought on what other opportunities exist for you to reach your health, wellness and weight loss goals. Follow us on Facebook and Instagram for more Balance365!…
1 Episode 115: Cut The Crap: Tough Love From Jen & Annie 1:00:18
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1:00:18Balance365 values self-love and self-compassion but that doesn’t mean we avoid uncomfortable conversations. Over the last six years we’ve observed there are some very common patterns among the women we work with that perpetuate staying stuck and producing the same lackluster results over and over. It’s time for us to lovingly kick you in the butt and help you cut the crap! In this episode, Balance365 co-founders Jen and Annie discuss the 7 most common mindsets that will get women nowhere and how they can work on transforming themselves into goal-getting bad asses! Follow us on Facebook and Instagram for more Balance365!…
What are some of the beliefs you’ve adopted that are keeping you from finding your healthiest weight? We can bet that some of them are on the list that Balance365 co-founders Annie and Jen are serving up in this episode. Stop beating yourself up, learn to accept things you can’t control, and learn how to sustainably adjust the things you can. Follow us on Facebook and Instagram for more Balance365!…
Balance365 coach Michelle is back on the podcast with Balance365 co-founder Annie to once again dispel some exercise myths. Forget about “no pain, no gain,” and lean into the idea of “all or something.” All exercise is good, and this episode will give you a confidence boost with some practical tips for gaining the strength you’re striving for. Follow us on Facebook and Instagram for more Balance365!…
When you open your fridge or pantry, do you get that panicked feeling that you don’t have enough and you won’t be able to get enough? That’s what Terri of Tiny Bites Nutrition is here to address in this episode. You’re going to learn about actual food scarcity versus perceived food scarcity, how to feed picky children during COVID-19, how our mindset can shift about food availability, and how to sensibly stock up on food without hoarding. Follow us on Facebook and Instagram for more Balance365!…
1 Episode 111: Building Friendships From The Heart With Jules Webber 1:05:04
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1:05:04This episode’s topic is relevant no matter what season of life we are in: navigating female friendships. Jules Webber, life coach and counselor, joins Balance365 co-founders Annie and Jen to gab all about where the drama in many female relationships comes from, how we can support our girl friends while still being true to ourselves, and how it all circles back to our mothers. Follow us on Facebook and Instagram for more Balance365!…
1 Episode 110: How Routines Can Help You Find Control In The Midst Of Chaos With Kendra Hennessy 46:16
The COVID-19 or Corona virus pandemic is something we have never dealt with in our lifetimes and many of us are navigating new routines, including working from home or having our kids constantly at home. What are the best tips for creating new routines or continuing the routines you’ve already set up? Our guest Kendra Hennessy, home management expert and positive motherhood enthusiast, tells Balance365 co-founders Annie and Jen all about how we can adjust to our new normal and even get the whole family on board. Follow us on Facebook and Instagram for more Balance365!…
We have a special treat for you - this podcast episode is a meditation led by friend to Balance365 and yoga and meditation teacher, Kelli Weber. Take some time for yourself to get centered and grounded. Shut out the chaos of this very uncertain time we are living in today, even just for a few minutes. Follow us on Facebook and Instagram for more Balance365!…
This is the third episode in our 3 part series about staying healthy and calm during chaos. Balance365 co-founders Annie and Jen are talking in this episode about creating foundational habits, finding out what you want to focus on to be healthy, and setting realistic goals. You’re going to learn so much good stuff, especially how habits can lead to routines that are easy for you to practice and stick to when you feel like your world is in upheaval (particularly while the world deals with the COVID-19, or Corona virus, pandemic). Follow us on Facebook and Instagram for more Balance365!…
1 Episode 107: Staying Calm And Healthy In Chaos Part 2 1:14:05
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1:14:05This is the second episode in our 3 part series about staying healthy and calm during chaos. In this episode, Balance 365 co-founders Annie and Jen are talking all about how to manage our environments - the mental and the physical. You’ll get great tips on how to work from home with all its distractions, how to improve your mental environment, and even how to adjust your home environment to be productive and make it easier to practice healthy habits. Follow us on Facebook and Instagram for more Balance365!…
The world has been rocked by the COVID-19, or Corona virus, pandemic, and we know many of our listeners are anxious about the situation. On this episode, Balance365 co-founders Annie and Jen give you a little sneak peek into some of the mindset coaching techniques that are used in the program. You’ll get a sense of how to figure out what is healthy for you during these stressful times and how to manage your anxiety. This episode is the first in a series of 3 episodes related to keeping calm in our current situation, so watch out for the other 2 episodes releasing this week. Follow us on Facebook and Instagram for more Balance365!…
Balance365 co-founder Annie and coach Michelle are here to bust some myths about exercise and weight loss. Not only will you learn that exercise doesn’t necessarily have huge benefits solely for weight loss, but you’ll hear about all the other amazing benefits it has for your body and mind. Plus, you’ll learn how to easily incorporate exercise into your daily life or find movement you love, even if you’re not super stoked about hitting the gym. Follow us on Facebook and Instagram for more Balance365!…
When someone experiences trauma, it can feel like there are constantly tigers in the room with them. How do you lessen the anxiety? How do you begin to heal? And can food help with that process? Our guest Julie Peters, yoga teacher and author, gives us so much great information by telling her story of healing from sexual assault and how consuming food became a daily practice of consent. Her story and outlook on how food can nourish us when we are experiencing hard times is actually perfectly aligned with Balance365’s philosophy of balance, self-compassion, and self care. Follow us on Facebook and Instagram for more Balance365!…
Continuing our discussion on weight loss from a couple of episodes ago, we are looking at all of the small changes that need to be made in order to lose weight - consistently and over the long haul. In this episode, you’ll find out the truly important things for you to focus on in your weight loss journey, and also the things we give you permission not to stress about. Follow us on Facebook and Instagram for more Balance365!…
This time on the podcast, Annie is chatting with Balance365 member Kim Boyer all about the amazing transformation she has made in her mindset and how she has been hitting her habit and health goals in the Balance365 program. She confirms that slow and steady wins the race when it comes to weight loss, that changing your mindset around weight and wellness can create a positive spillover effect to the rest of your life, and that having a support network can make it all easier. Follow us on Facebook and Instagram for more Balance365!…
We know weight loss can feel impossible. We also know it’s not everyone’s goal, but for those who are striving for weight and fat loss, this episode will get you into the mindset of all of those women who have lost weight and kept it off. While it may be a long road, we know you can do it with patience, persistence, and realistic goals. Don’t forget to sign up for our FREE workshop, “The 5 Step Process to Overcome Overeating,” at www.balance365workshop.com Follow us on Facebook and Instagram for more Balance365!…
We can’t believe it’s here - our 100th episode! In this episode, we are taking you on a trip down memory lane, complete with clips of our favorite, tears, and most-shared episodes. (We had a hard time paring it down to just a few, so make sure to go and listen to past episodes.) You’ll hear clips from some amazing guests and nuggets of wisdom, plus, a Balance365 Life Radio goof for the ages. Follow us on Facebook and Instagram for more Balance365!…
1 Episode 99: How To Stop Stress Eating With Josh Hillis 1:02:01
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1:02:01Josh Hillis is back on the podcast! You might remember him from our conversation about emotional eating, but this time he’s here to talk about stress eating and the tools and strategies you can use when you are caught in the pattern of eating to combat stress. Spoiler alert: No diets needed! Download now for a healthy dose of laughter and reminders of how establishing better habits will foster a greater sense of self love. Don’t forget to check out our free workshop to help you ditch the diet cycle for good! Visit www.balance365workshop.com to learn more. Follow us on Facebook and Instagram for more Balance365!…
This week, it’s all about calming our minds. Annie’s friend Kelli Weber, a yoga and meditation teacher, joins us to show that meditation is not what you might think it is - in fact, it’s a practice that can be done almost anywhere for only a few minutes at a time and has countless benefits, including relaxation, mindfulness, and stress management. Plus, Kelli shows us how easy it can be in a 2 minute guided meditation that you can do along with us. Don’t forget to check out our free workshop to help you ditch the diet cycle for good! Visit www.balance365workshop.com to learn more.…
1 Episode 97: Getting Real With Balance365 Co-Founder Jennifer Campbell 1:14:42
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1:14:42It has been a wild ride for Balance 365 co-founder Jennifer Campbell, who, after many years of an ongoing struggle to find true self love, was able to settle into a balanced life and peace with her body. Ultimately, she came to understand that her journey had caused her physical and mental damage, and slowly, by forming new habits and mindset changes, her pendulum began to settle in the center. This is an emotional, but important, episode.…
Our bellies are body parts we just can’t get enough of - and there are lots of questions surrounding them: How does stress play a role in belly fat? Can you wrap yourself in a cocoon at the spa and lose weight? And what about those pesky genetics? Annie is flying solo in our newest podcast episode, and she’s setting the record straight on our tummies!…
On today’s episode, Annie and Jen have a discussion around what to do when someone calls your kid “fat.” It can be a tough conversation to navigate in a way that supports your child, builds resilience and doesn’t reinforce fat phobia. Tune in for Annie and Jen’s suggestions on getting through these conversations with growing kids.…
1 Episode 94: Does Losing Weight Make You A Bad Feminist? With Maggie Anderson 1:07:41
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1:07:41In today’s episode, Jenn and Annie are joined by Grace Club YVR founder Maggie Anderson for an exploration of feminism, weight loss, body autonomy and how to create more compassion for yourself and others. Tune in for a spirited discussion about if you can call yourself a feminist and still want to lose weight.…
1 Episode 93: Annie's Story: From A Size 24 To 12 Without Dieting 1:22:58
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1:22:58The tables are turned in this episode of Balance365 Life Radio when Jen interviews Annie so she can share how the big weight loss that came with going from a size 24 to a 12 was really a small piece of the way her journey. After so many rounds of Weight Watchers, Annie finally found something that worked.…
In today’s episode, Annie and Jen interview Molly, a longtime Balance365 member about the changes she experienced as a result of participating in the program. From the outcomes she expected to some others she didn’t, listen in to hear how Molly didn’t just learn to balance her plate, she learned to balance what she wanted and how she shows up in her own life.…
1 Episode 91: Growing Teens And Appetites: Building Healthy Food Relationships With Ahuva Magder Hershkop 56:23
Jen and Annie are joined by Ahuva Magder Hershkop to address the specific challenges of feeding adolescents - how do you know they are eating enough, eating the right things and developing good relationships with food? Find out how to cope with feelings and expectations around feeding your teen when they have so much more independence.…
Jen and Annie are joined by Michelle Phillips, aka Coach Sparkles, to discuss body positivity and weight loss and if the two concepts can co-exist. This is a hot topic of discussion and the decision to pursue fat loss goals is so personal. Find out what the Balance365 team has to say.
What happens when industry professionals are struggling with their own relationships around food and fitness? Professionals working in the health and wellness industry are often seen as experts and are expected to exemplify health. Jen, Annie and Lauren get real about the dark side of the fitness and wellness industry.…
Jen, Annie and Lauren are joined by CC Sutton, professional speaker and life coach, to discuss how busy moms can make time for self-care, what it can look like and why it is so important. Listen in to level up how you take care of yourself!
Jen, Annie and Lauren are joined by Heather Plett, a coach, facilitator and author of a powerful blog post that looks at the dynamics of parenting while you do your own healing work. Is it ever too late to start doing that work for yourself? This question and others will be answered when you tune in!…
1 Episode 86: Obesity: A Complex Problem That Needs Complex Solutions 1:05:00
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1:05:00Jen, Annie and Lauren are joined by author James Fell to discuss obesity, what it really means, what causes it and what possible solutions could be explored. Get ready to challenge everything you thought you knew about obesity and tune in for a really intersectional look at why body weights are increasing.…
Food and fitness can draw lines between friends and family. This is particularly true when someone in your circle starts a new diet, especially if you’ve rejected diet culture. The question comes up often in the Balance365 community - what do you do when someone you love goes on a diet? Lauren and Annie respond in today’s episode.…
In today’s episode Annie interviews Balance365 co-founder Lauren Koski about her path from food obsession and yo yo dieting to finding peace and balance in her approach to food, fitness and nutrition. Listen in for the behind the scenes story of why she made a change and for her message of hope.
If you’re a parent, you might be aware of fitness trackers for kids and your kid might even be asking for one. But are they really a good idea? Jen, Annie and Lauren discuss this complex issue to help arm you with the information you need to make an informed decision.
1 Episode 82: Your Fitness Questions Answered: Getting Over Gym Intimidation 1:06:43
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1:06:43Starting a movement habit and going to the gym can be intimidating if you’re a beginner. That’s why Annie and Balance365 Coach Coordinator Meg Ramos got together to answer common questions actual Balance365 members have asked to help make the gym feel a bit more comfortable. Tune in for the whole scoop about all the things you’ve been too shy to ask.…
1 Episode 81: Kurbo: The Problem With The Weight Watchers App For Kids 1:05:04
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1:05:04Everyone is talking about the latest app released by Weight Watchers, or WW as they are now called. Kurbo is aimed towards kids between the ages of 8 to 17 and contains weight loss content. Is this really a bad thing? Annie and Jen discuss this with Amy, a former Weight Watchers ambassador.
Meal time can feel like a battle ground when your kids are picky eaters. Registered Dietitian and founder of Tiny Bites Nutrition Terri Ney joins Annie for a conversation about how to deal with kids who are picky and how to help them cultivate a healthy relationship with food. Feeding advice is served!…
Fat shaming and poor body image can become a cycle within families, but Suzie decided she wanted something different. In this member spotlight, a Balance365 member shares her secrets to success in the program, how her life changed and why she never wants to go back to diet culture.
Ever notice you weigh more on Monday morning? Lauren and Annie discuss common explanations for those annoying and sometimes anxiety-inducing weight fluctuations and what you can do about them - and why you may not even need to do anything. Learn to approach the scale Balance365 style, even on a Monday morning.…
Birth experiences and choices vary widely from person to person. Jen, Annie and Lauren have all made different choices in the way they had their babies and in today’s episode they invited Emily, the founder of The Good Birth Co, to share a very Balance365 aligned philosophy on birth that’s a breath of fresh air. The messy middle - birthing edition.…
After a decade of fearing carbs and engaging in constant dieting behavior, yoyoing between low carb and high sugar, Jen made the decision to leave diet culture behind and pursue balance. Entering the fitness industry was her awakening that she had to quit dieting. She knew she had to make a change for the sake of her kids. She wanted to support them and having a healthy relationship with food. Like research shows, food restriction leads to food preoccupation. Low carb diet led to preoccupations with carbs, even fear of carbs. But is low-carb eating even what it's cracked up to be? False Promises Part of the allure of Keto is the fabled quick results, however the podcast interview with Amanda Howell shared that the weight loss was from glycogen and water and not actually fat. “Women have been conditioned to believe that that number on the scale is the most important thing,” Jen explained. She shared how the preoccupation with the morning dehydration leads women to believe they are bloated when in fact they're not. Sometimes bloating comes from Binging after the restriction of trying to live on a diet like Keto or low carb. The cravings that come during a restricted diet are natural, like a body gasping for air after holding their breath. This level of restriction can be particularly problematic for postpartum moms who are prone to running themselves into the ground in pursuit of postpartum weight loss, the faster the better. The stress of a restrictive diet can negatively impact their mental health. While she had risk factors for postpartum depression otherwise, Jen feels that her low carb way of eating contributed to her struggles. It’s not just new moms that are affected. Low intake with high output inevitably leads to exhaustion. Jen found that in moving towards a more balanced diet she was able to attain more personal bests in the gym and really start to enjoy exercise without feeling so exhausted. What science says A study done recently that compared the Keto diet to a non-Keto diet and it showed that the Keto diet actually increased total cholesterol, LDL and markers of inflammation, compared to the non Keto Diet. Regardless of science, people tend to rely on their personal experiences and often report that they feel better on a low-carb diet. The diet gets the credit where positive changes might just be due to generally making better food choices, drinking more water, and moving their bodies more. This is particularly true of people who had poor diet prior to exploring low-carb diets. Adjustment Period One of the challenges that come with being on a low-carb diet is that the food that is eaten can change the palate and can make food that's outside of the plan taste bad. Fat makes food tasty and low carb diet tend to contain a lot of it, making a shift from a high fat diet seem less flavorful. The other challenge people can have is when they add in the carbs but don't decrease the calories from other macros accordingly, leading to excess calories and weight gain which they attribute to the carbohydrates. In making the decision to abandon diets, psychological work needs to take place as well to allow former dieter to be able to listen to their body again. Often a diet is an attempt to manage psychological pain and trauma by changing dieter’s bodies. Without dealing with the underlying issue, lasting behavior change can be challenging. With dieting success there's also the psychological boost of people who celebrate weight loss at any cost. The flip side of this is that during weight regain between diets, the lack of positive reinforcement can feel like rejection. The extent to which body hatred and diet culture have become connection points for women in their relationships means that removing connection points can lead to a feeling of being left out and not knowing what to discuss in social situations. Walking Away From Diet Culture There is often temptation when walking away from diet culture to try this one more diet. The reality is that in moving away from diet culture so much mental space is being freed up that sticking to a diet can become very challenging and ultimately not very satisfying. Self-love is a rebellious choice in a world consumed with self-hatred. In walking away from diet culture and restrictive low-carb eating, it's possible to build better relationships with food and each other, to experience food freedom from preoccupation and enjoy a little more balance.…
The Keto diet is the diet that Balance365 Community asks the most questions about. That’s why Amanda Howell, a highly educated nutrition expert joined Balance365 Life Radio to discuss what Keto is, what it isn’t, what it can and can’t do and if it lives up to all of the hype.
If you look at some of the research and the studies behind people's ability to keep weight off in the long term, it seems pretty gloomy. The good news is that Dr. Yoni Freedhoff, a Canadian doctor and expert in weight loss and obesity management, believes there’s still good reason to be optimistic.
Embracing Your Body and Your Life: An Interview with Taryn Brumfitt Before and After Following the explosive success of Embrace, The Documentary, Annie, Jen and Lauren interviewed Taryn Brumfitt on Balance365 Life Radio. Taryn shared with JAL her journey from photographer to prominent body positive advocate after a photograph that went viral amplified the innermost frustrations of women about how bodies are portrayed in the media. She went on to crowdfund and produce Embrace, The Documentary and is actively working to fund the companion version of the documentary for kids. More than just a feel-good movie, Embrace is making a real difference in the lives of the women who watch it. DID YOU KNOW? Women who have seen Embrace have much higher body appreciation and lower levels of body shame, self-objectification and dieting. They’re also less likely to treat their body as an object to believe that they should be thin or to be ashamed of their bodies Vehicles Not Ornaments Part of what comes from not being ashamed of one’s body is being able to use it in a variety of different ways that might have seemed unreachable before. For example, Taryn recently completed a marathon, shaving an hour off her last time. She is an advocate for joyful movement and moving in a way that your body needs regardless of what it looks like. Exercise can be so helpful for reducing stress, bringing calm or building inner resolve to overcome hard things. “I've decided that I'm only going to get fitter and faster as I get older. That's my new challenge,” Taryn explains. DOES BODY POSITIVITY PROMOTE OBESITY? This is something Taryn gets asked all the time and she says, "No, thank you for asking me because I love to deliver the answer. And that is we can't look after something that you don't love." More Lightbulb Moments of Self-Love When Taryn’s photograph went viral, she was inundated with thousands of emails. These weren’t all necessarily positive; women were expressing their pain about hating their bodies. The need for a cultural shift became clear. Taryn had some tips on how we can contribute to a more body positive culture. Re-frame toxic body talk when you hear it. For example, Taryn recommends, “when we hear our friends having a conversation about losing weight because they're going on a holiday and they want to look good in their bikini, we need to say, ‘Hey, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop. Let's think about the fact that you're going on a holiday with your family or with your girlfriends and just go and experience that joy.’" Share Embrace The Documentary with a friend and check out Embrace You , the 4-week course that Taryn offers. Read her book, Embrace Yourself . Re-frame the conversations with our kids. “If your daughter comes to you and says, ‘Mommy, do I look pretty in this dress?’ you need to turn around and say, ‘Oh, I just want to know what are you going to do in that dress?’” Taryn suggests. Increase media literacy. Make sure your kids understand how companies market and what their motivations are. She suggests Celeste Barber as the antidote for toxic body messaging. Model positive body image behavior for our kids. Taryn explains, “We are Kings and Queens to our kids and they are getting all of their information from us. Yes, from other places too. But the majority from us, they're sponges. They're looking at us.” A Perspective Shift “It was not my soul's purpose to spend my life hating and being at war with myself...I refuse to talk about my cellulite or my wobbly tummy or my jiggly arms when there are children and men dying every three seconds from not having food.” Taryn has issued a call to action to focus on gratitude and to put self-hatred in perspective by recognizing where there is privilege. She challenges women to consider what will be important to women at the end of their lives and to focus on those things. She explained how self-love might not feel like an achievable goal, but even neutrality is better than self-hatred and striving for neutrality is valid. More than just focussing on gratitude, Taryn calls for women to enjoy the freedom that comes from accepting your body. “This is the joy of embracing your body. It's so powerful. It's not just about the body, it's about your life. Like it transcends everything. You're more confident, you're more loving, you have deeper connections with people. You don't buy into the rules. And when you don't buy into the rules, that's when you have this real, delicious is the only way I can describe it, sense of freedom and joy and magic in your life.” The Balance365 team is so excited about the upcoming Embrace documentary geared to kids that they are donating 10% of the next week’s sales to help make this movie happen. You can make purchases in support of Embrace HERE.…
In this solo episode, Balance365 Life co-founder Lauren Koski gives a comprehensive overview of binge eating from a psychological and physiological perspective. Tune in for practical tips and a no-guilt look at one of the most challenging habits to break! What you’ll hear in this episode: Lauren’s experience with binge eating Reasons people binge What is reactive bingeing? The cycle of restriction induced bingeing How not to deal with bingeing All or nothing thinking and bingeing Scarcity mindset and binge eating The role of forgiveness, shame and guilt in binge eating How under eating can lead to a binge Troubleshooting your food intake to reduce the risk of a binge Sleep and binge eating Zooming out and how it helps reduce binges Self-compassion and seasons of life that naturally involve less sleep Physiological and psychological reasons people binge Resources: Learn more about Balance365 Life here Subscribe on Apple Podcasts , Spotify , Google Play , or Android so you never miss a new episode! Visit us on Facebook | Follow us on Instagram | Check us out on Pinterest Join our free Facebook group with over 40k women just like you! Did you enjoy the podcast? Leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or Google Play ! It helps us get in front of new listeners so we can keep making great content. Transcript Annie: Welcome to Balance 365 Life Radio, a podcast that delivers honest conversations about food, fitness, weight, and wellness. I'm your host Annie Brees along with Jennifer Campbell and Lauren Koski. We are personal trainers, nutritionists and founders of Balance365. Together we coach thousands of women each day and are on a mission to help them feel healthy, happy, and confident in their bodies, on their own terms. Join us here every week as we discuss hot topics pertaining to our physical, mental, and emotional wellbeing with amazing guests. Enjoy. Lauren: Hello. Hello. Today we are talking about why you may be bingeing and what to do about it. My name is Lauren Koski, one of the cofounders of Balance365 Life. And thank you so much for joining me for a solo episode today. And so I said we're going to be talking about binge eating today. And I used to be a binge eater. I was a secret binge eater. I was a weekend binge eater. Basically I was a "whenever my latest diet failed" binge eater. And so I know very well the feelings of shame and guilt that come with bingeing and with feeling just completely out of control around food. It's something that so many people are dealing with. And I see so many popular diet plans, basically all of them that set people up to binge later. And if you've seen our workshop, you'll know the story I'm about to tell because I talk about it there. But back when I was a strict dieter, which I was a for about 10 years, I had a roommate who worked at Dairy Queen. And as you can imagine as a dieter, it was a nightmare for me to constantly avoid eating a freezer full of Dairy Queen. So my low point came one night when she came home and she went to get her favorite kind of blizzard that was in the freezer and they were all gone. And she asked me what happened and I told her that I went to get one from the back and the rest all fall, all over the floor and I had to throw them all away. And I don't know if she believed me, probably not because it was a lie and it was a horrible lie because there were four blizzards in there. I ate them all in one sitting because I just could not resist that any longer. And I felt horribly, physically and mentally, but it was a horrible lie because if you've ever dropped anything out of a freezer when frozen, it doesn't spill all over the floor and you don't have to throw it away, right? But that's just what I came up with. I was mortified that I could not control myself around that ice cream and I ate all of it even though she shares it with me, she used to share it with me, but obviously it was hers. So that was about 10 years ago. And since then I've worked really hard on my relationship with food and myself and my body image. I'm a trained habit based nutrition coach now and it's been at least five or six years since I've really gone on a binge like that. So let's take a minute and talk about why people binge in the first place. There are several reasons, including restriction, trauma, shame, guilt, stress, etc. Sometimes all of them. But what I'm going to cover today is reactive bingeing, which is really, really common. Before we get going though, I will do want to make one disclaimer. I am not qualified to treat binge eating disorder, which is a clinical eating disorder. And if you think you may have that, then please seek out qualified medical professionals. So I classify reactive or restriction based bingeing as a binge that happens after someone to physically restricts their food, either through intentional or unintentional means. And I'm sure most of you are familiar with what this looks like in real life. So let's say you go on a diet and this diet severely restricts your calories and you need to use willpower to stick with your plan. Your willpower starts off strong and you do really well for a week, maybe a month, maybe even a few months. But along the way, your cravings increase and ultimately you find yourself face first and pizza or ice cream or chocolate or whatever that calorie-dense, delicious food is for you. And at first it feels amazing to eat that food because you've been craving it for so long, but you're soon filled with all of that shame and guilt and regret and you're feeling like a failure. And you also might notice that each time you diet or restrict your food, it takes a shorter and shorter amount of time before you lose control and overeat or binge. So we are going to talk about what to do about that. But first I want to go over what not to do because what not to do is exactly what I see most people doing and what most people end up doing. And it's a totally logical response to binge eating. And that is to lay on the shame and guilt and then to restrict again, right? When I always did that after failing another diet, right? I would binge and then I would continue to eat everything that was off limits during my diet. I was already cheating on it, right? So I thought I'd just get it all out of my system, right? That all or nothing thinking. And then I'd start again on Monday or next week or after the holidays or whatever. And I would start fresh with a new diet, a new restrictive program. And I followed this cycle way too many times to count before I learned a better approach. So let's, that's what not to do. Now let's go over some realistic steps to get you out of this cycle and stopping binge eating. So number one that I want to cover is to rip up your good food and bad food lists. We tend to have all or nothing approaches to weight loss and nutrition and in my experience, that is a quick way to a binge or to overeat. You have to remember there is no wagon to be on or off of. The cookie that you had after dinner doesn't mean that the vegetables you ate were any less nutritious or vice versa. When you realize that there aren't any foods that you need to be totally off limits it takes away that deprivation and that scarcity mindset, right? Anytime you want a particular food, you can choose to have it if you want. And when you start to truly allow yourself to eat without guilt, some of those really intense cravings will lessen simply from you knowing that there's no foods off limits anymore. When you can't have something, it makes you want it more. So if you take those off limit foods and really allow them, some of that scarcity goes away just by doing that. So number two is when you binge or overeat, forgive yourself immediately. You're probably not gonna stop binge-eating totally overnight. So the most important thing you can do is to forgive yourself as soon as it happens and move on. I know it's easier said than done, but shame and guilt will only increase your desire to comfort and numb and overeat. Alright, so number three is going to be "Just say no to restrictive dieting." You have to remember that another diet is never going to be the answer with reactive binge-eating. Restriction is only going to perpetuate this cycle. We call it the Diet Cycle. So I urge you to stay as far away from dieting as possible. And in fact, a history of yoyo dieting and restrictive eating is actually a risk factor for developing binge eating disorder. Number four is to make sure you're eating enough. Binge eating can be as much about physiology as it is about psychology. So your body needs energy to function and it gets its energy from the calories in the food that you eat. So even if you aren't following a specific diet, it's still really important to make sure you're eating enough to sustain you throughout the day. So when I really struggled with binge eating, a typical day of eating for me would look something like this. I would eat Special K cereal with skimmed milk for breakfast. I'd maybe have an apple a few hours later as a stack. For lunch I'd have a small dry salad with grilled chicken. And then I'd have another snack of low fat yogurt and broccoli with no butter, no nothing on it, just plain. And then dinner was something like more grilled chicken and broccoli. And then as you might imagine, nights or weekends, I would binge eat everything delicious and high calories and high fat that I could find. And I would eat no absolutely no vegetables and nothing, basically no whole foods. It was just all as high calorie and high fat as I could find. And this might sound familiar to you right when you're on a diet like that, even though I wasn't on at that time a specific diet, I was still eating as little as possible and still those biological factors were still driving me to binge eat and overeat along with the psychology factors. So your body needs calories and if you're trying to eat as little as possible throughout the day, it will increase cravings for those quick energy sources. So if this is you like it was for me, try eating a larger breakfast and a larger lunch and I'm willing to bet that your cravings and your uncontrollable urges to eat those cookies or whatever it is for you will lessen dramatically just from doing that. And number five, last but not least, don't underestimate the importance of sleep. Studies have shown that sleep deprivation is linked to excess cravings of less nutritious foods. I find this to be true for myself as well as for our clients. But a little caveat with that said, when you have kids, I know that sometimes it's just out of your control, right? When your baby keeps you up all night, just give yourself compassion and know that this is just a phase of your life. Prioritize sleep when you can and then realize that you're doing the best that you can do right now. So before I wrap this up, I do also want to mention that I'm definitely not saying that this has to be a choice between the restricting binge cycle or no change at all. There is a middle road and that is exactly what we do recommend, so the middle road is going to look like making smaller, sustainable changes that you can actually stick with and that won't cause you to binge later, right? Things like choosing one thing at a time to work on instead of trying to change your entire life and eating habits overnight, which is what you do when you go on a diet. It's going to look like focusing on the process instead of only looking at the outcome that you are wanting and creating a smaller calorie deficit so that you don't activate those biological processes that begin when your body thinks you're starving, which again is exactly what happens on a diet. So I hope this has been helpful for you. I hope you are having a fantastic day and I hope you enjoyed this solo episode. Bye. Annie: This episode is brought to you by the Balance365 program. If you're ready to say goodbye to quick fixes and false promises and yes to building healthy habits and a life you're 100% in love with, then check out Balance365.co to learn more.…
Often women are socialized to present as if they need nothing from the world. While the spirit of independence is inspiring, the reality is that as humans we do need things and that isn’t about weakness, it’s about humanity. In today’s episode, Jen and Annie talk to clinical social worker Mel Bosna to explore human needs and why they matter. What you’ll hear in this episode: How to begin identifying our needs and how to meet them in a healthy way Societal messages around women’s needs Why it’s not really noble to ignore your own needs Anti-dependency culture and what it means Uncommunicated needs and expectations Maslow's hierarchy of needs When we put unmet needs onto our body and our food Food, exercise and belonging Finding validation from within versus outsourcing that Getting needs met within a family system Motherhood and how we de-prioritize our basic needs ahead of the wants of others Getting comfortable with the discomfort of vocalizing our own needs The discomfort of trying to be someone you’re not Getting curious about the kind of women we elevate and why The initial disruption that comes from laying down boundaries The habituation process as family acclimatize to everyone having needs Setting boundaries or choosing resentment How resilient relationships adjust to change Two dominant narratives around needs Coming to the realization that your happiness is worth the discomfort of others with meeting your needs Self-soothing after the discomfort of advocating for your needs Learning to advocate for your needs Learning to need without self-judgment Scheduling in time for family, self and relationship Shifting mindset from scarcity to abundance Role-modelling self care and examining the messaging we perpetuate when we don’t advocate for our needs Resources: Mel Bosna’s Website Learn more about Balance365 Life here Subscribe on Apple Podcasts , Spotify , Google Play , or Android so you never miss a new episode! Visit us on Facebook | Follow us on Instagram | Check us out on Pinterest Join our free Facebook group with over 40k women just like you! Did you enjoy the podcast? Leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or Google Play ! It helps us get in front of new listeners so we can keep making great content. Transcript Annie: Welcome to Balance 365 Life Radio, a podcast that delivers honest conversations about food, fitness, weight, and wellness. I'm your host Annie Brees along with Jennifer Campbell and Lauren Koski. We are personal trainers, nutritionists and founders of Balance365. Together we coach thousands of women each day and are on a mission to help them feel healthy, happy, and confident in their bodies, on their own terms. Join us here every week as we discuss hot topics pertaining to our physical, mental, and emotional wellbeing with amazing guests. Enjoy. We live in a culture that often labels women who express their needs as needy or high maintenance. We praise women for being needless, for ignoring their own wishes and desires so everyone else around them can thrive. But denying your needs can ultimately leave you feeling resentful, misunderstood, or even downright angry. Clinical social worker, feminist therapist and artist Mel Bosna understands that having needs doesn't make you needy, it makes you human. Mel is a licensed clinician in the state of Arizona and believes that our best chance at health involve both individual and societal changes and as a result, Mel aims to validate the broader context of what contributes to the stories we're living while supporting clients to change what's within their control to change. Mel feels that it's been a profound honor for her to support women. Together they are learning how to walk away, claim new life, root into new ground, speak the unspeakable, own the narrative, change the script and to say enough to the shame and the lies that have haunted them for too long. On today's episode, Mel offers amazing insight on how to begin identifying our needs and how to meet them in a healthy way. Mel acknowledges that honoring and communicating our needs can leave many of us feeling vulnerable, but encourages us to acknowledge the discomfort as an opportunity for new growth. As always, if you want to continue the discussion from today's episode, we invite you to join our free Facebook group, Healthy Habits Happy Moms. Enjoy! Jen, we have a special guest, like a VIP guest with us today. Are you so stoked? Jen: I am. Annie: Yeah. Mel, how are you? Welcome to Balance365 Life Radio. Mel: I am so thrilled to be here. Thank you for having me. Annie: We are so happy that you're here. You've been around our community for a while. Like you go, you go way back. Mel: Beginning. Annie: How did you, how did you find, well, it probably was Healthy Habits Happy Moms. Mel: Yeah. Annie: -at the time, how did you find us? Or how did we find you or do you remember that? Mel: To be clear, I really don't. I, I think I probably found you as like a recommended group on Facebook, which I'm no longer on, but- Annie: Thanks, Facebook. Mel: No, I stumbled across it and having worked in the eating disorder recovery field for quite awhile, I was always looking for resources that were balanced and appropriate to send people to. And so I just kind of fell into the group. I really enjoyed it for the season that I was involved and have just loved cheerleading, watching, you know, what you guys are doing, it's been really great. Annie: Well, we appreciate it. Do you want to take just a quick second to explain to our audience about your work, what you do? Mel: Sure. I am a clinical social worker in private practice in Scottsdale, Arizona. I've been in private practice now for about seven years, but prior to that I'd worked at a number of different facilities. So I did inpatient eating disorder work for about four years, specialize in body image work, sexuality, trauma, our relationship with food and spirituality and one another. From there I was the director of a group home for girls who'd been sex trafficked, was only there for about a year. Loved the population. The agency wasn't a great fit for me. And then I started having kids and you know, reevaluated my career at that point. And so I've been in private practice since then and really specialize with things that fall under the umbrella of women's issues. So I do a lot of complex trauma, attachment, parenting, sexuality, relationship issues, lots of codependency work and really just trying to empower women to discover who they want to be and to, yeah, just give themselves permission to find their own path, ways of meeting their own needs. Mel: And as they do that, it's just compounding, right. All the growth and freedom and vitality within their families and communities. So I definitely look at things from a specific social work perspective. I like to challenge systems. I like to dismantle them, I like to see, yeah, I just like to see people experience a lot more freedom. So- Annie: Right on and you're just, you're a good human and like a powerful, powerful woman. Mel: I definitely feel my power. That's good. Jen: You also are very, you're very creative, Mel. You have, you're an amazing photographer. Mel: Yes. That's kind of been a side project that I fell into. I never set out to, um, be a photographer. It's kind of funny that that word still doesn't roll off my tongue very naturally, but finding ways to integrate art within my activism and healing spaces has been really profound and healing for me, on both a personal and a professional level. So I do have a passion project where I photograph women who are telling their own stories so you can find that work on Melbosna.com. Women getting to share their stories with the hope of just kind of reducing the fear that often comes from just not knowing or understanding one another. Annie: Yeah, it's beautiful. Circling back to something you said when you were telling us about your work was you mentioned women acknowledging their needs, getting their needs met. And that's what we wanted to bring you on to talk to us about today because you and Jen had a little private conversation in the Instagram dm's which so frequently happens with, Jennifer, which I love and adore. That's how we get a lot of our podcast guests is that this, there's this concept and I really identify this, so I'm so excited to see what you have to say on it is, women are taught to be needless, that I always kind of attribute it to, and I know this wasn't her intention and I'm not pointing the finger, but this like kind of this Beyonce attitude, this like, "I don't need anyone. I'm too cool to care. Like I can do it myself." And like, and as a result, I often struggle for asking for help or even really being very clear on what, what do I need? Like what am I feeling? What do I need? And again, the messages is that we shouldn't be needy. Or if we're needy that we're high maintenance. And I think you'd probably want to, argue against that, right? That having needs does not make you high maintenance. Right? Mel: Right. Having needs makes you human. And so our rejection of our needs is actually a rejection of our own humanity and it makes it very difficult then to be a healthy human, are good human if we're rejecting such a core part of ourself. And there are so many different messages that we are raised with about having needs. So whether that's, you know, "Don't be dependent on anyone to meet your needs" like you were just referencing, kind of the anti dependency spirit, right? Like I don't need nobody or where we get those messages that say, that it's like good to be needless, that it's noble to be needless. Don't be aware of having needs or if you are aware that you should sacrifice them and that there's an honor in that. And women particularly are rewarded for being self sacrificial in that way, but it's not really sacrifice in a holy way. It's actually neglectful and it's destructive. Jen: Yeah. That's more where I identify with the word needless, where Annie thinks of Beyonce. And I think of like being subservient and quiet and small and being rewarded for that and feeling loved and validated as a woman because I don't take up space and I don't need anything. Mel: Right. Jen: I find that, I suppose they're both destructive in their own way, but I find that concept of womanhood more destructive than the Beyonce analogy. But I don't know if I've ever lived the Beyonce, perhaps that's why I find it more destructive and that's definitely my background is if anyone who's followed me for any amount of time, I've had a big breakthrough blog post about five years ago called The Selfish Mom in which I wrote about my transformation of, from just serving my partner and my children to kind of stepping out in the world and going, "Hey, wait a moment like this, this doesn't feel very good and I have needs and you four have to make space for those needs in our life." And just how inconvenient I felt and how uncomfortable I was. But, that went, I mean, millions of people have read that blog post now and I think it resonated with a lot of women. So, that's more my experience of wanting to be needless. Mel: Well, I think deep down, we know that we have needs, but we're not taught, again, how to recognize them or meet them appropriately. And so what I see happening is that because we don't know how to steward them or meet them in appropriate ways, that it will always come out sideways in our life. And so whether that's displacement through putting our needs onto other people around us with the expectation that they're just going to meet them on their own, or be able to read them or anticipate what our needs are or displacement onto other areas in our life that are inappropriate, that are illegitimate, expecting that to fulfill our needs. So, you know, at a very base level, we all, humans all have the needs for, you know, safety, shelter, food, water, stability, community, family, right? Like relationship, belonging. But above that, like if we look at Maslow's hierarchy of needs right above that, then we look at our needs for worth, for identity, for romance and sexual, you know, fulfillment or connection and self actualization and purpose and these other needs that, again, are, they're valid and human. Mel: And we all have them, whether we acknowledge that we have them or not. And so if they're not met appropriately, which most of us don't grow up learning how to meet them appropriately, they will inevitably come out sideways. And so in my work with women, I have seen it most problematic when women displace their needs for belonging, acceptance, worth identity, I see them displace that onto food or onto their bodies as a way of trying to meet that need and fulfill it, which will never happen appropriately because food was never meant to fulfill our identity. Jen: There's, another thing too, and inside of this idea that we can meet our needs with food or a body size, you have whole communities that have risen up to support these pursuits. And so what happens is you, you find, you feel as if you, you can find a place to belong if you, too, participate in this, whether it's these food rules or becoming this body size. And that can feel really good, especially for somebody who might actually feel pretty lonely or has been experiencing rejection, or has struggled with just fitting into this culture that does seem to be consumed with food. So it can feel really good initially. And you hear a lot of people, I think, they defend their diets, or they defend, you know, what they're doing, what their goal is because they still have the warm and fuzzies perhaps. Mel: That meets the need. It actually does meet the need. And so it's really hard to walk away from something that's meeting the need, even if it's also costing, you. Jen: Right. Mel: In the process. And so, I mean, I don't think anybody's crazy or stupid for engaging in those types of behaviors because they are, they are actually meeting a need, but it's not meeting it the way that it's designed to be met, if that makes sense. And so because of, because it's an illegitimate way to meet the need, there are all these, like, negative consequences or costs in the process, right? And it's so fluid. So you have to maintain a destructive habit in order to continue to belong or feel accepted or valued. Jen: Right, right. Annie: On a personal note, I found that a lot of the needs that I've been trying to meet, I've been trying to meet them from the outside in versus inside out, if that makes sense. You know, like I was trying to outsource my confidence or put my confidence in my self worth in the hands of other people. Like if my peers like my work, if my husband thinks I'm attractive, if my girlfriends like my outfit, if they think I'm funny, if they think I'm smart then like, you know, then I feel seen or I feel worthy or I feel good enough but it doesn't, it's not super sustainable because then I felt like I was forever reliant on this like applause or this like, "Hey, you like me, right? Like, I'm still doing a good enough job, right? Like, hey, like I'm okay, right? Did I do a good job? Jen: If you like me then I can like me. Annie: Instead of just like checking in with myself. Like, in fact, I've shared many times, Mel, you are actually one of the reasons I started going to therapy because you're like, maybe you need to talk to someone about that. Jen: Maybe just stop messaging me on Instagram. Annie: It was on Instagram. Jen: Mel set a boundary. Annie: And it was wonderful, but one of the things she said was like, "Well, what's your experience? What do you think?" And I'm like, "Well, they liked it so it was good enough." And she's like, "Uh uh. No, you didn't answer the question." And so turning inward or reflecting inward before trying to like outsource all that has been a lot, a lot of work, but it feels like I'm on the right path. Mel: Mmhmmm. It is an inside job and there's both power and grief related to that. Right? Like it's, we still want to have that validation or affirmation given to us from others because again, as women, that's what we've been taught is the path forward, right? As long as we're needless, as long as we're pleasing to others, accommodating others, meeting other people's needs for what, for how we should act or what we should look like, then we think that we can provide ourselves with that type of security. So it can feel really scary to start elevating our own voice, right? And our own validation, it can feel really scary initially because it's just such a unfamiliar pattern for us. But it is rewarding, like you're talking about, to feel so firmly rooted in knowing who we are and also how to meet our needs. Mel: So then it's not dependent on all these other people around us. When we know how to appropriately meet our needs, then we're not just outsourcing them and then scared or powerless with, like, whether or not other people are going to be able to come along and validate, support, fulfill what it is that we're looking for. I see a lot of women do this within their own family, again, because they don't know how to meet their needs. They'll just place their need for validation, for worth, for fulfillment onto their kids or onto their partner. Again, such a, such a vulnerability for their own growth as well as like a huge responsibility for their kids then to have to grow up with making mom happy, making sure mom's okay, making sure mom feels good about herself and so again, the more that we can learn appropriately how to validate and meet our own needs so they're not coming out sideways in our marriages and our parenting or communities, just the healthier the whole system functions. Mel: So it's taken a lot of work. I mean, from, also from a personal place. Like I didn't grow up aware of what my needs were or how to meet them. I am the daughter of a pastor and his wife and I love my parents so much, but both within the spiritual community I grew up with as well as the traditional family system I grew up with, I just was completely clueless and I just thought that my husband was going to know how to meet my needs when I got married at 24 and so this process for me of identifying what my needs actually are and taking ownership of them and then learning how to ask for support at times with meeting them, has been bumpy. It's been sold with a lot of trial and error. But the more that I've taken risk with owning what those needs are and learning how to nurture them and steward them, again, the healthier I have felt and the healthier my family system functions. Jen: I'm circling back to Maslow's hierarchy of needs. This is quite common. I see this and with women I talked to is that, they are making sure or they are the facilitators or the supporter of members of their family reaching higher levels when their baseline is not even being met. And so sometimes I have to, really, it's hard, right? Cause everybody's operating from their own level of awareness. And you know, when I see a woman post, one happened in our community that she couldn't afford pelvic floor physiotherapy after paying all of her children's sports fees for the year. And something like that just breaks my heart, although I can't say I haven't been there right where you are so low on the to do list that your children are participating in multiple extra curricular activities before your own basic health care can be tended to. And what we talk about in Balance365, actually in our program is this, if you are a member of a family, this is a family job to sit down and make sure everybody's needs are being met. And that is so uncomfortable for so many women, me included. So I was wondering if you can help us in, sharing with our audience how a woman can get started there, what that's going to feel like. Mel: Sure. That's such a great question, Jen. I'm glad you asked it. I think one of the first things that I would, um, encourage anybody who's curious about this process is to start exploring what makes them feel so uncomfortable to begin with, right? And perhaps that's through journaling. Perhaps that's through talking with like, a good friend or your Facebook group. But really just starting to, to evaluate what is it that feels so risky about having needs and prioritizing them and when we bump up against our discomfort or that vulnerability, that's a prime opportunity always for new ground to take place in our life. And so again, we have been taught to avoid discomfort, I think culturally, on a societal level. Like we see it as like risky and just maintain the status quo. But again, that's always where new ground takes place. Mel: And so if we can get comfortable being uncomfortable, right? Like embracing, like, this feels really risky for me to take up space. Why? What messages have I received about taking up space? And whether that's with my physical body or the fact that I need a nap or I'm hungry right now, or I want a vacation away from my family. Or like, I need new clothes or I haven't bought new underwear and you know, so my clients haven't bought new underwear in two years. Jen: Right. Mel: And they're like buying their kids, like, whatever their needs are on a regular basis. So whatever that is, to be able to just say, what is uncomfortable about taking up space here? We just start with looking at the messages that women have heard and the stories they tell themselves. And the behaviors don't change if the story doesn't change. Jen: Mhmm, I think sometimes, you know, for me, I've had to look at the way, what type of woman I've glorified and what type of woman has been glorified within my family and my community or socially, right? So, members of my family, me included, we have glorified the woman who does it all. The woman who wants to be with our kids 24/7 and so I was trying to make myself into a woman who I have seen glorified, not into the woman who I actually am. And that's like square peg, round hole. It doesn't fit very well and it doesn't feel very good when you're trying to squeeze yourself into being something who you aren't. Mel: Right. Right. So I what I love about that, it's just the questioning, right? Of what's the story I've been given about what it is to be a woman, a mother, a partner and does the story serve me? Jen: Right? And the other thing you, a lot of women, have to eventually look at is who have they judged before? Right. So, in my story as I went about trying to be this woman, I was very judgmental to other women who weren't doing that same thing. I was very judgmental towards women who were being more fearless than me, setting boundaries in their family. I think I was maybe maybe resentful towards these women. Jealous? I don't know what it was, but they just weren't fitting into my narrow view of the way women should be which in the end ultimately made it even harder for me to kind of let go of this because I had a lot invested. My ego was totally invested in this way of living. So yeah. Mel: Yeah. It can make it hard when we're invested in a particular narrative, and I'm just going to say this cause I think it might be something that your community bumps up against. It's also really hard when those around us are also invested in this narrative. And so when a woman decides that they are going to start validating and honoring the needs that she has and her children, her partner, her, again, the community at large isn't used to her having needs. There is a disruption that can follow that initially, which is why we need the support and validation of others as well as we do find this new narrative. So I tell people it's kind of like a baby mobile. If you can picture one above a crib, right when you add or take away any part of that baby mobile, right? Like say it's a bunch of teddy bears. Mel: There is an immediate disruption to it, right? Like where it moves around and it feels like chaos and it's unsettling and uncomfortable for every part of that mobile, but eventually it habituates. It finds a new norm. And so for women who are learning, again, how to start to take up more space and ownership of what needs they do have, there is often that initial disruption where where their kids, their partner again, maybe like, "Hey, I don't know. I don't know that I like that you're leaving right now. Right? Or that you're going to go lay down right now or that you're readjusting the budget to buy your underwear when I was planning on getting a new, like, game boy or something." Like there's that initial disruption as everyone's finding like this new norm of what this woman's needs look like within the family system, but it will habituate. And so if we can get comfortable with that initial discomfort or disruption, we can trust that it is what's healthy and good for everyone involved. Annie: This is so hitting home right now because, this probably isn't going to come as a shocker, but I pride myself on being like strong. Like no, I'll just do it myself. Everything from like opening the pickle jar to, like, pushing a car out of the driveway if the battery's dead, like no, like I don't want to ask for your help and if you offer your help, I'm probably going to be even annoyed that you even offered help. And like, I'll just do it myself. And one of the things that I've accepted as I've grown older is I actually am a crier, but I have associated this whatever is behind the tears as weakness. That's like the story that I've told myself is that it's weak and it's something to be ashamed of. And watching the most interesting part has been watching other people respond to me crying cause it's kind of like "Is she okay. Like what? Okay, I don't know what to do with her right now that she's crying." And I'm like, it might not, it might be joy. It might be sadness, it might be I was just embarrassed or it could be so many things, but it has been, like, interesting to be like, "I know what I'm doing and I'm comfortable. But watching your discomfort is interesting for lack of a better word," Mel: Right, right. Well, it's unfamiliar for others it sounds like to see you show emotion, like part of your vulnerability. They're not used to that. And so, I mean, that's what I'm hearing at least. Annie: Absolutely. No, absolutely. That's spot on. Mel: Are you okay? Versus somebody like me or Jen who maybe cries regularly because of the narratives that we've shared about ourselves to other people. But yeah, they will adjust to your kind of new expression of your emotion the more that you practice it. Jen: In my experience, resilient relationships do adjust, right? So I decided to go back to work after my first son and somehow during my maternity leave there, an assumption had been made by my partner that I wasn't going back to work without a discussion happening and his life got pretty good while I was on maternity leave. It was very Flintstones for lack of a better word. And I have no judgment to anybody who has a lifestyle that is more traditional of father works and mom stays home and does the household stuff that is, if that brings you joy, I'm so happy that you're in that role. But I wanted to go back to work and I remember when I told my partner that that would be happening and how our life would have to adjust his jaw just hit the floor. Like he was just, you know, in his head I could see the wheels turning. Jen: He doesn't, you know, get to go to the gym every day that, you know, all these things, supper on the table at six o'clock, all of these things, he realized it would cause him more work. It was just life would become more physically demanding. And, you know, and that was kind of the reality for me of going back to work was that my life was about to get better and everybody else's lives were going to get harder. And it was very difficult for me to step forward into that and say, "But I'm worth it. My happiness inside this family is worth it. I have made so many sacrifices for all of you. You will make sacrifices for me.” And coming to the realization that that's actually how healthy relationships go, right? There's a give and take. And I think myself and a lot of women feel that there's, after a time, as Brene Brown says, you can set boundaries or you can feel resentful. You can, or it's choose discomfort or choose resentment. It's one or the other. And over time, a lot of women become extremely resentful because they're not able to move into that discomfort and, and say, "Hey, what about me over here?" You know, and you're waiting for someone to do it for you. I think a lot of us also have kind of this white knight complex, like there's some kind of, someone's coming to save us, but there isn't, nobody is nobody's meeting our needs, right. Until we ask for them to be met. Mel: Right, right. Yeah. I see that a lot too. Again, going back to kind of this two dominant narratives, one is, you know, again, somebody's gonna come along and and save me or meet my needs. I see lots of women who are just crossing their fingers, hoping that someone's going to notice, like, what they need and just naturally meet it and that either leads again to like total neglect or resentment or that other narrative like that Annie had shared where I'm not going to be dependent on anybody to meet my needs. I'll just meet them all on my own and neither is a true picture of health. Part of our work is practicing curiosity again with like, "Where do I fall on that spectrum, right?" And so the work that each woman has has more to do with the personal narrative that she has about what it means to be a woman and what she's afraid of. Mel: So if she's afraid of asking for help, right, like being dependent or intimate with somebody, then her work is going to be more about the vulnerability of needing someone else to help meet a need. If her work has been, or I'm sorry, if her narrative, has been largely resting on this idea that I'm not supposed to have needs or allowed to have needs, then it's moving into a space of validation and ownership of them. Recognizing that either way brings about that, like, that discomfort and vulnerability and lack of familiarity. It will be disruptive on a personal and relational basis, but it's worth it. I guess I'm curious to hear from both of you, you know, like what you feel like you've gained through risking owning your need, sharing your needs, doing this work yourself, what's come out of it? Annie: Oh, this isn't how the interview works, Mel. You know, one of the things that has come up, and this is kind of in the grand scheme of things that maybe doesn't feel really big, but I have spent so many birthdays and holidays and Mother's Days praying that my husband will get the gift I want, treat me the way I want, like do the thing that I want. And it's not even necessarily what I want. Not even necessarily like this big extravagant like party or anything. It's just I just, like you said, I want him to read my mind. Right. And what I've done since kind of doing this emotional work in the last couple of years is just flat out said like, this is what I would like. Mel: Yeah. Annie: And he's happy to do that. Like he's happy to fill those needs, assuming that he can make it, whatever happened. And oftentimes it's usually like, I just want to control the day. I just want to come and go as I please lay in the hammock, take a nap, go get a workout, have lunch with my girlfriends, whatever. It's nothing usually extravagant, but that's so much easier for me to just say what I want and like hopefully help assist, implement that if needed. And instead of the alternative, which was this like pouty, like "He didn't get mother's Day right. Like, that's not even the book I wanted. Or like he thinks I like that color? Like what was he thinking?" Jen: It actually takes far more energy, I think to be that, to just ask for what you need then to have all these thoughts racing all the time and disappointments and resentments growing. Annie: But then there's this, and I don't, I don't know. What do you, what do you think of this? There's this like, you know, okay. Just say, like, flowers. Like he got me, I wanted flowers and I kept asking for flowers and now he got me flowers and he only got me flowers because I asked for flowers, so he didn't really want to get me flowers, you know? And then there's this, like, he just got them because I asked them for them. Does that, do you know what that is? Jen's giving me a look like "What are you talking about? " Mel: I do. I do. Annie: Because I want the flowers because it's an expression of your love and how much you care about me, not just because I asked you to get flowers. Does that make sense? Mel: Yes, it does. I relate actually to this very specific example of yours. So I remember years back, my husband would bring me flowers on our anniversary and maybe Valentine's Day. Great. Right? Like those are the two days of the year that we would expect it. And so it wasn't very special. And I know every relationship is different. Every, yeah. But just speaking from my, and then not only will he not bring flowers on those outside of those particular days, he would bring me ugly flowers. Jen: Carnations. Mel: Yes. It would be like flowers that I would be like, "Ugh! Again!" like Annie said, "Does he not know me? Like at all?" Right? Like I would personalize it and so they would be like flowers that just didn't meet my need, right? And so I had to start learning how to advocate for my need. And there is an element to this process that, again, takes some of the surprise out of it, right? Like, like you were saying, Annie, like, you want, you want them to intuit, right? You want to feel surprised or wooed or whatever it is by it, but the need didn't get met. So if I was just going to wait until he intuited I wanted flowers, or intuited which flowers I like versus, you know, don't like, and then I would feel like a total B, by the way, like, for being upset about the ugly flowers. In the back of my head, I hear that shame voice, that inner critic that said, "You should just be grateful that you got flowers. Do you know how many women would like to get flowers? You should just be grateful." Mel: And so that should voice would weigh in, which would be invalidating of the need that I had as well. And so I started just, like, taking pictures off of Pinterest and sending them to him. "These are the types of flowers that I like." Right? And now it's like when I notice that maybe I haven't had flowers in a while, I might say, "Hey babe, sometime in the next like three weeks, can you bring some flowers home? It would mean a lot." Right? And is it lacking maybe in that element of surprise I wish was there? Sure. But does my need get met? Yes. And they're really beautiful flowers, right? It's showing up for myself and then he gets to feel like a hero because he's able to support, maybe hero's the wrong word, but he's in alignment. Right. He's getting to show up for me as well because I've showed him how to appropriately-. Annie: Yeah. That's, yeah. That's a great example. I love that. Mel: Well, you know. Annie: What about you? How has it changed since you- Jen: Are you looking at me? Annie: Yeah. Since you started showing up for yourself? Jen: I would just say I feel more like I'm living a life I'm supposed to live. I'm the woman I'm supposed to be and I'm in alignment with myself. I'm living a life aligned with my values. I feel I've changed the trajectory of my children's future in their own relationships because I'm showing up as a woman who, I'm normalizing a woman who asks for her needs to be met. Actually, early on when it did feel very uncomfortable for me and I wanted to hide and not do it I would do it for my children. So I have three boys and my husband also grew up with three boys and there was a very traditional model in their household and that just became their normal and my husband's normal and he wanted that normal to continue. Jen: So, these are just, you know, bringing this awareness to my children, I think, that women have needs, women take up space, moms take up space. The other, this is so small but it felt profound for me. My children had all had breakfast and exited the breakfast area. I was sitting down with my toast and coffee and my oldest son came back in for second breakfast and asked me for my toast and I was like, "I have not even eaten yet this morning and you are asking me for my toast, like I get to eat. Now it is my turn to eat. And if you would like to feed yourself again, you are welcome to go make yourself some toast." And it was just, it was just a moment for me to go, "Um, no, like I'm setting a boundary here with my child to say like, I'm taking care of me right now and I get to meet my needs before I meet your second breakfast needs." Jen: And this was just stuff I couldn't do before. I really was just a "Yes, yes sir" kind of lady. And yeah, so it's kind of those small moments, but also the big moments, in fact that I, even when I first started this business, I thought, I felt so called to start it. And then I thought I could run this business between the hours of nap time and my husband at work. And I realized at one point I was trying to, I was trying to create not just a business, but a movement and a community that did not disrupt anyone else's lives. Do you know? And I was just run ragged because I was trying to do this without interrupting anybody. So, and now today it's like, "Hold on, I do need help at with, you know, running this country, it is going to disrupt people's lives. Just like everybody, you know, just like soccer disrupts our lives and my husband's career has disrupted our lives. So, those are big things for me. But I, they just feel so normal for me now. It feels so expected. Like of course, like, that was crazy that I would think like that. Like of course my needs need to be met. Mel: Right. Annie: Mel, if you had a couple of takeaways, one or two takeaways, because what I imagine is, women are listening to the three of us talk about like, "Oh yeah, like, maybe I want to do that too," or "I should do that" or "That's a great idea." Or "I know I need to ask for this Xyz." I imagine some of them are, maybe can have the courage to like have a conversation with their partner, a friend, a mom and dad, whoever they're expressing needs with and then almost like hiding under the covers. Like, "Oh my God, I can't, like, I can't believe I just did that." And like having this, like, "Okay, I asked for it, but then actually maybe I asked for a nap, but now I'm going to actually go take the nap. Or I asked for a night out with the girls, or a night off from cooking or whatever it is." But then actually following through on it, like there's a different, there's a difference between expressing it and then actually allowing yourself to- Mel: Yeah. Annie: do the thing. What would you, how do you recommend women navigate that discomfort of actually taking action on their needs? Mel: Right. I think that's a really wonderful and important question. So, again, the story that we tell ourselves about who we are and whether or not we're allowed to have needs and whether or not we're allowed to receive, not just give, but to truly receive. We get to change that story. And so if something feels, like, so uncomfortable, distressing, intolerable. I had a friend who, who could hardly lay on a massage table. She felt so guilty, right, for being there, right, for that whole hour. We have to change the story. And so starting to soothe that discomfort, that shame, we want to expose it. Again, like Jen was saying earlier, asking ourselves, "What are the messages I have for myself about taking up space or having this need or receiving without always giving and how do I change that message?" And so for me, in my own work and the work that I do with, you know, my clients, it really is continuing to deepen into the fact that I have nothing to prove. I have nothing to earn. I have nothing to lose, but I am allowed to be human, which means that I'm allowed to have needs and that's holy and it's good and that practice of receiving it and taking up space has everything to do with the story that I tell myself and then the behaviors that I practice. And so if we want to see the behaviors in our life change, we have to always be critical then of what is the story. Does that make sense? Annie: Yeah, I'm just, like, in a trance that's, like I think I'm going to need to put that little clip right there on some sort of mantra meditation that I listen to every morning. Yeah, that's just, that's a really beautiful message and I really hope that your words and your stories and our stories give women permission that they're, you know, maybe needing to express their needs with whoever in their life. Mel: I hope so too. I hope that this inspires people to take more risk and to lean into that discomfort and, to accept that disruption is a healthy, vital part of our growth. And like Jen and you and both spoken to, healthy relationships around us will adjust, they will adapt, they will want to affirm even in the discomfort of that new pattern. And it's part of what teaches us, again, who's healthy and safe around us because if people don't allow for that growth, like us being human, right? Like having needs. If there's not an allowance for that, then, again, that's an opportunity to to be critical or curious about the types of relationships and communities that we're part of. So yeah, I hope this does inspire people to be curious and self validating, take some more risk. Annie: Absolutely. It's beautiful. It's really inspiring. It's very encouraging and optimistic. Very optimistic message too. Mel: Yeah. Well, thanks for having me on. Annie: Yeah. Thank you. Jen, anything to add before we wrap up? Jen: I just, I actually was, Mel, as you were talking, I wanted to, just on a very practical, baseline level, how we kind of have figured this out in my marriage is that, I think in some marriages you get in these patterns of, like, give, like, a "me, me, me" or it can feel like that in some ways. Like it's this person or this person rather than this person and this person. And, we, in our marriage we had a real scarcity issue around time, energy, money, and once we've been able to just flip our mindset to one of abundance, I'm sorry if this is getting too woowee here for everybody to understand that everyone's needs can be met. Jen: Like they can, we have the time, we have the energy and how we actually make that happen is we had a marriage counselor once that said, "Every family should have three things you need. You need time connecting with each other time connecting as a family and you need time connecting with yourself." And we now sit down with our calendars and as unsexy as this is, we schedule those in. Are we hitting those three things? And of course sometimes we go through seasons where it's more about the kids, like soccer season, for example, which is right now, but then we, we have to keep in mind too, we have to rotate priorities back to that balance of hitting those three things. And sometimes a season of our life might be more about connecting with self or connecting as a couple. But, it's just keeping those three things in mind all the time and actually doing the unsexy things of sitting down for the calendar and making sure that's getting scheduled in. And once we started doing that, we saw there is time, we can meet everyone's needs. It doesn't have to be this tug of war. It doesn't have to feel that way. And I think when partners initially approach that conversation, you know, based on different relationship patterns, they may have been in prior, it can feel like that. But I, you know, I think it's a family conversation and how, you know, how do we do this for everybody, right? Mel: Well, I would agree there is a real practical element to this as well, in terms of, I don't know, I don't know anybody whose needs are met 100% of the time, right?Like I don't every day like feel 100%. Jen: Right. Mel: And that takes intentionality and ongoing curiosity or evaluation for me to know what needs to prioritize on my own. So for instance, I may have a need to hang out with my girlfriends, to get some exercise, right. To have some alone time, to, you know, like, to do a project and so I'm regularly assessing with the time that I have, with the resources that are available, what need do I prioritize and meet the most today or this week or this month. Right. And so there are seasons where my alone time is the most precious need for me to protect. Mel: And so that may mean that I structure then my schedule around having alone time, which may mean that I exercise alone, right? Or that I, when I finally have time to go out, I go out alone versus other times where maybe I need to sleep more or I need time with my girls more, whatever it may be that that self awareness is key. And again, we're often discouraged as my men to be that self aware because we're so focused on our children or our careers or the other relationships we have in our life. So learning how to prioritize, again, just practical, it's a habit. . Nut it will make women, I really believe that it's going to make one and less fatigued, less resentful, less discouraged, less alone when they're able to be curious and attend to the needs that they have. So it's worth it. Jen: Yes, totally. It's worth it. Annie: Alright, Mel. We're going to wrap up. But we'd love to have you back some time. I know that there's other topics you specialize on that I just, I would love to pick your brain on. And, think you're just such- Jen: I think we've both tried to solicit you for therapy. Mel: No comment. Annie: This is how we get therapy, Jen. We just keep asking her on our podcast. Jen: I remember, I asked, I told Annie one time, I asked Mel to be my online therapist. Annie: I did too. Jen: Yeah. And then Annie was like, I did too. Mel: I had to turn you both down. Annie: Well there should be. Yeah, there you were very ethical in it. Mel: You guys are my friends, you know. Annie: Yeah, you know, there's boundaries and ethics and you know, state laws that we tried to disregard, but you honored your boundaries and you're like, "No, you need to go talk to someone about this." And we both did and it's both been great. So thank you for pointing our heads in the right direction. But, we would love to have you back, because I think there's even an element here about how, what you talked about earlier and how some of these needs can come out sideways, that I think we could dive in deeper and how this need for belonging and acceptance can come out as, you know, diet and exercise disordered behaviors even. So, thank you so much for your time. This was wonderful. Jen: Thank you, Mel. Annie: So great to talk to you. Alright, we'll talk soon. Jen: Bye. Annie: This episode is brought to you by the Balance365 program. If you're ready to say goodbye to quick fixes and false promises and yes to building healthy habits and a life year 100% in love with then checkout Balance365.co to learn more.…
1 Episode 69: The Benefits Of Unsupervised Outdoor Play 1:06:11
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1:06:11Could you be supervising your kids too much? Safety is important, but that doesn’t have to translate watching your child’s every move. Annie, Lauren and Jen are joined by parenting expert Allana Robinson to discuss outdoor unsupervised play, fostering independence and life skills and finding more balance as a parent. What you’ll hear in this episode: Societal pressures around supervision and engagement of parents with their kids The amount of time working moms spend with their kids vs stay at home moms in the 50s What science says about enrichment and play Motor skill development and play How motor skill development affects reading ability Facilitating outdoor unsupervised play through relationship building in your neighborhood The value of small risks in learning to prevent injuries How children's’ injuries have changed with the introduction of “safer” equipment How to introduce unsupervised outdoor play in an age-appropriate way Boundaries and consequences - how to use them Helping kids learn to entertain themselves Judgement and the mom on the phone in the park What happens when you interrupt or correct play Isolation and the need for community of parents and of kids Zooming out from our kids’ behavior and learning to see it in context Resources: Uncommon Sense Parenting Facebook Page Allana’s Facebook Group Ping GPS The Gift of Imperfect Parenting Your Kids Need to Play Outside Without You podcast episode (Allana Robinson) Marian Diamond Rat Enrichment Study No Child Left Alone study Learn more about Balance365 Life here Subscribe on Apple Podcasts , Spotify , Google Play , or Android so you never miss a new episode! Visit us on Facebook | Follow us on Instagram | Check us out on Pinterest Join our free Facebook group with over 40k women just like you! Did you enjoy the podcast? Leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or Google Play ! It helps us get in front of new listeners so we can keep making great content. Transcript Annie: Welcome to Balance 365 life radio, a podcast that delivers honest conversations about food, fitness, weight and wellness. I'm your host Annie Brees along with Jennifer Campbell and Lauren Koski. We are personal trainers, nutritionists and founders of Balance365. Together we coach thousands of women each day and are on a mission to help them feel healthy, happy, and confident in their bodies on their own terms. Join us here every week as we discuss hot topics pertaining to our physical, mental and emotional wellbeing with amazing guests. Enjoy. We live in a culture where parents are expected to be with or entertain their kids all the time, but we also have other responsibilities inside the house that need taking care of too, and as a result, our kiddos' outdoor playtime often gets cut short, but today's guest has solutions. She understands the importance of outdoor play for kids and wait for it, she encourages unsupervised outdoor time. Yeah, you heard me right. Alanna Robinson is an early childhood educator and parenting coach for parents of toddlers and preschoolers. She helps parents understand why their children are misbehaving and what to do about it without yelling, shaming, or using timeouts. On today's episode, Alanna, Jen, Lauren and I discuss why your kids need to play outside without you and how to begin implementing that today so your kids can play outside and you can tackle your to do list inside or you can always just relax too. But before we dive in, it's important to note that we have a diverse audience, and even though we don't have immediate solutions for everyone, we want to acknowledge that inequalities do exist and people with different socioeconomic and racial backgrounds may have a different experience with outdoor play. But as always, we don't want anyone to feel left out of this conversation. And if you want to discuss any of these topics further, we invite you to join our free private Facebook group. Healthy Habits Happy Moms. Enjoy. Lauren and Jen, welcome to the show. We have a special guest. Lauren, are you so excited? Lauren: I am so pumped. I'm so excited to learn all the things. Annie: I know. Jen, I know you're excited cause this was a guest you found and you brought and you were like, "She needs to be on the show." Jen: Yeah, I'm part of Allana's, I'm in her parenting posse Facebook group. Actually, Allana, I found out about your Facebook group in our Facebook group. Allana: Oh yeah? Jen: You were, or did someone just recommend your Facebook group to me in our Facebook group to me in our Facebook group. So group to group. So I joined yours and you have said some things that have been so profound and have changed the way I parent and discipline, which is amazing. Allana: That makes me so happy. Jen: And even though you specialize in one to six year olds, I have, well, I've been in your group for quite a while, but my boys are transitioning out of those ages. So I have a five, seven and nine year old. I find your advice still works for my seven and nine year old. And so you just scale it to their level and yeah, it works. It's amazing. And it's taken so much stress out of parenting, right? Especially with discipline because you're always like, "Is this enough? Did he learn his lesson?" Annie: So in other words, welcome to the show, Allana. How are you? Allana: Thank you so much for having me. I'm great. Annie: Good. Allana: Making me so extremely happy because you never know if what you're putting out into the world is actually landing with people and it's just, it makes me so happy to hear when it does. Jen: I don't, I just read along. So I would say I'm a lurker in your group. I've posted once, but I read. And so it's actually a good reminder for me that in even our Facebook group, I'm sure there's tons of lurkers, so nothing you say is ever really wasted. And so I read whatever you write. So whatever you're doing in that group, I'm a step behind. Annie: And then she comes to me and she's like, "Hey, you need to check her out." And then I went to your website and listen to one of your podcasts. And it was about why your kids need to play outside without you. And I was like, "Freedom!" It was amazing. Jen: That was a huge moment for me and you're so open about your own parenting practices and you're not just telling people, "Hey, here's what to do." You're like, "Here's what what you should do. And I'm doing it. And this is what happens in our day to day life." And can I say the comment that blew my mind? It was just from a couple of weeks ago. Can I say that? Am I allowed? You told everybody, someone asked when they can let their toddler play in their backyard unattended. And then all these women were giving advice, right. And it was this huge thing and all of a sudden you swooped in and you said your youngest or you start them out one and a half years old playing independently outside by themselves at one and a half. And your son has been walking down the street to the park from four years old. Allana: Yup. Jen: On his own. And I was like, "Wow." And you said the world is safer today than it's ever been. There's this perception that it's more dangerous and we actually have more things in place to keep our kids safe even though it's safer. But that's killing us as parents. And actually what it's leading to is a lot more indoor time and screen time for kids because it's actually not realistic or sustainable to expect parents to be playing or even supervising their kids 24 seven and so kids aren't even getting the minimum amount of movement that they should be just because it's actually become impossible for families to provide that. Allana: It's an impossible standard. There's also a study that was done not that long ago about the difference in the amount of time working mothers today spend with their children versus stay at home mothers that spent with their children in the 1950s. Working mothers today spend more time on average with their children than stay at home mothers did in the 1950s so this concept that we have to constantly be in their face, we have to constantly be engaged with them. We have to constantly be enriching them. Jen: Right. Allana: Putting this impossible, impossible load on us. And you know where that came from? It came from another study. There was a woman named Marian Diamond who was in the 1960s, she was doing research on rats and how big their brains got when they played versus rats who weren't given the opportunity to play. Allana: And she was a woman scientist in the 1960s and she was playing with rats. So she got ridiculed socially by her male colleagues for being the girl who plays with rats. And in order to try and make her study, her papers more serious, have a bit more aplomb, she removed the word play and she changed it to enrichment. And nobody knows this woman. Nobody has ever heard of these studies before, but they have just trickled through our societal psyche to the point where we believe that we always have to be engaged with our kids or they're going to be stupid. And what that study should have said is the more time the children play, the smarter they get, the bigger their brains get. And that tiny little change in the way that we communicated that idea has had such a prolific impact on North American society. And now we're at the point where it's breaking us to meet those expectations. And we're so terrified that if we don't, that our kids are going to be stupid. And it's, yeah. So this fear that everybody has, and it's a deep seated subconscious fear that we have to be with them all the time or they're going to be taken or stupid. And it's just, it's not sustainable. You can't do it. Jen: Can I just, I'll just add another fear. That they're going to get hurt and someone's going to call child and family services on me and my kids are gonna get taken away because I wasn't there when they fell off their bike, broke an arm. Like, you know, it's just, I'm afraid of what my neighbours are gonna think of me. Not so much anymore because my kids are a bit older. But when my kids were younger, it was, we lived near a park, I wouldn't dare have sent, you know, in my head I'm like, "I'm sure they'll be fine." My Dad used to do some very questionable, like, I mean over the line questionable things. So you know I'd always have my dad be like telling me "It's fine!" Just, but you know, you, you actually worry about your neighbors. And actually I've been on social media for several years now and shared a lot of our family during that time. I think I started after my third was born and I have had many people message me and threatened they're going to call family services on me, like awful telling me I'm an awful mother. Like, if I'm trying to share like our mom life moments, you know, like, there's accidents- Allana: That hasn't happened to me yet quite frankly, because as you said, I'm very open about what I allow my kids to do. And there's more studies. There was this study that was done in 2016 about, it's actually called No Child Left Alone. And it was a study that was done by a small group of researchers and they basically asked a large, large group of people, they gave them scenarios in which a child was left alone and every single scenario was exactly the same except for the reason why the child was left alone. So they varied the reason, like, you know, mom went to go see her lover versus, you know, mom had an emergency at work and couldn't find a babysitter. And what they found was that people assessed a higher risk to the child based on what they morally felt the reason was for leaving the child, even though all the factors were exactly the same. And so what that means is that people don't just think things are dangerous and therefore, and moral, they think things are immoral and therefore dangerous. So, and when I say to people like "I let my five year old walk to the park," they're like, "Aren't you afraid CPS is going to get called on you? Aren't you afraid that somebody?" And I'm not because I know my neighbors. And that is how we combat that, because it's a lot easier to judge somebody on their morality when you don't know them, when you can't put a face to them, when you've never spoken to them. So, and it's awkward, super awkward. But when we moved here when my son was a year and a half old. And so he was just starting outdoor play and he was, he's tiny for his age, like he looks much younger than he is. And so I actually took his hand and we went around and we walked up and down our street and we knocked on everybody's door and we introduced ourselves. And I said, you know, "My name's Allana. This is my son Logan. You might see Logan around, he likes to play outside by himself. I'm okay with that." And people were kind of like, "Okay." And it was, it was awkward as hell. And you know, we have a bit more in depth conversations with our immediate neighbours who can actually see into our yard. But so no, nobody ever, I gave my phone number to everybody and said, "Hey, if you ever see him doing something questionable that you're not sure it's safe or appropriate, please send me a text message. Like I am always, I will deal with it." And what that people call CAS because they see a child doing something that they're not sure is totally on the up and up and they don't have a touch point. They don't have anybody to go to other than the police. So if you go to your neighbors and you say, "Hey, this is who I am, this is my child, this is my phone number, please call me if you know you ever need anything," it removes that ability to have such a quick moral judgment on you because they seen your face. They've spoken to you, they've had a conversation with you and that I think because we don't know our neighbors, in this day and age we move around a lot more. We live in much larger communities. Houses are much closer together. We don't, we don't know our neighbors the way that our parents did or grandparents did. So it takes a conscious effort on our part if we're going to be sending our kids out into the world by themselves that we know we've scoped out the world for them, right? Jen: Yeah. Go ahead, Allana. Allana: Oh, I was just going to say it like, he has, he's walked to the park before and I've had neighbors text me and be like, "Hey, so your kids at the park by himself?" And I'm like, "Yup." And they're like, "Oh, you're okay with that?" "Yup. Thanks for letting me know though." And they're like, "Okay, great." And that was the end of it. And they know him, he knows his boundaries, like, and there's a certain amount of teaching to this. You don't just send your kid out the door and be like, "Off you go." There's a lot of very conscious teaching that has to happen in, right. Annie: Allana, I would love to get into, like, how do you actually implement it in a little bit? Because I know like you can't just take a kid that, like, hasn't had any unsupervised play and be like, "Okay, see ya. Have fun." But I want to back up because you have quite a bit of information about, like, the benefits. Like why does this matter to the kids and why does this matter to parents? Allana: Well, because the outdoors is basically, like, nature's occupational therapy, right? Like the rate of children in occupational therapy has soared since the 1990s and it's because the kids aren't getting outside. When you go outside, first of all, the environment is perfectly sensorially balanced. It's made for us. It's not too loud. It's not too quiet. Depending on where you live is not too hot or too cold. But you can adjust it, you know, generally it's not too bright. There's, you know, very subtle sounds that help you orient yourself in space. Like just the sounds of birds tweeting and leaves rustling helps your brain figure out where you are in space. It has, there's so many sensory experiences, mud, grass, air, everything is a sensory. The heat from the sun even is a sensory experience that helps your brain integrate the input that it gets both indoors and out. It's not controlled and there's things that you have to adapt for which you wouldn't have to adapt for inside because everything is so controlled inside. So our kids aren't getting that stimulus that hopefully we got that our parents definitely got outdoors and the result is that there's a lot of kids in schools right now who have vestibular problems and it's affecting their ability to read. It's affecting their ability to sit down and concentrate. Spinning, spinning has been shown, if you spin for five minutes, it's been shown to increase your attention span for two hours. They've removed every single merry go round. Every single spinning toy. Kids aren't allowed to spin on swings anymore because it's "dangerous." They've shortened the height of swing sets. If you look at pictures of swing sets from like the 1960s, the set itself is super, super tall and the chains are super, super long, which means they got a lot larger range of motion. When everything got scaled down and we got super safety conscious. We literally scaled down the swing sets. The chains are much shorter. They're not getting as large a range of motion. They're not getting as much stimulation. So it's vital not just to, you know, their ability to entertain themselves. It's vital to their long term learning. If you don't have a body that can integrate all the information that you're getting, then it's going to crop up down the road in lots of different ways. Jen: Wow. You know what? We moved from Vancouver, a huge city in Canada to a very small city, in the interior British Columbia, 90,000 people. And then within that community we live in like this tiny little suburb that backs on to, like a provincial park. So just hiking trails and stuff. My children's life has changed. Being so close to nature and having other children on the block, like our doorbell is ringing constantly. These kids are outside all the time, way more than when we lived in Vancouver. When we were in Vancouver I felt like I had to facilitate everything because you're in this big city you like, it's just, yeah, it was, there was just, it was very, and it was very stressful and I don't even think I realized how stressed I was until I wasn't living there anymore. And I have so much more freedom. I, you know, we even live close enough to the school that, like, boys can walk to school and walk home. And then just my free time has gone way up. Like as far as, and the load of parenting has gone way down for me living in this neighborhood and in this smaller city and I just can't believe how the quality of our life has improved. It's crazy. Allana: Totally. And like I have a lot of parents were like, "Listen, I don't have an outdoor space for my kids. Like we live in an apartment building and I can't let them go downstairs and play in even in the public green space by themselves because there's, you know, 60 back balconies that face onto it and somebody is going to take issue with it" and I always say "Some is better than none." Jen: Yes. Allana: Taking your kids to a park and take them to a park where there's no equipment. Right. Don't take them to a park where there's all these plastic climbers and stuff. Take them to a park where there's no equipment, provincial park, national park somewhere that it's more of a natural space and let them play there rather than let them climb the trees, let them walk on the logs, let them go, you know, dig in the ravines and the ditches. That's much more high quality play than the kind of contrived play that happens on swing sets and stuff like that. Jen: Yeah, they, when my kids were young, we lived in New Zealand and they are extremely progressive as far as play there. And this is kind of when all this started coming to me, because I had never heard this kind of talk in Canada and they talked a lot about the benefits of decreasing supervision and increasing risk on playgrounds because for example, our school, our playground no longer meets safety codes anymore. And so our school is paying $100,000 this spring that we all had to fundraise for to put in a new, new safe playground. And I'm kind of sitting back while everyone's very excited, great, but I'm sitting back going like, this is a hundred grand on a new safe structure that- Allana: Is going to do them a disservice. Jen: Right? And so - Allana: Yeah, I know the feeling. My son's play, my son's school, he's in junior kindergarten here in Ontario and they don't even have a playground. They don't have any, like they have a fenced in yard and there's a play structure for the kids who are in grade four and up. But anybody under that isn't allowed to use it. And we're moving schools next year. And his first question was, is there going to be something that I can climb on Jen: Right. Allana: Yeah, dude, that's like one of my top priorities. Jen: Yeah. I see just as many kids in the field next to the school. It's all fenced and stuff than I do on the playgrounds. Right. So it's and then tell me this, I don't know if this evidence based or not, but I often wonder what happens on playgrounds when the kids are bored and there's no risk anymore. Like do they turn? Like is that why they're turning on each other at recess? Allana: When there's nothing to do, you're going to create something to do. And so the nice thing like, and people will often say to me like, "How do your kids play outside for hours on end? There's nothing in your backyard." And there isn't. We literally have a yard and a shed and, but there are things in my backyard. We have lots of loose parts. We have, when my husband built that shed, he took all the off cuts and just kind of sanded down the edges generally so that he wasn't getting any splinters. And so there's, there's a ton of lumber back there. There is sticks, there's mud, there's a sand pit, we have a water table that kind of turns into a pond during the summer because nobody cleans it out. It gets very disgusting but so they have all that stuff out there and they'll take like, you know, an action figure or a car or something, one little thing and they'll build this whole playscape off of it just because toys are built with a very specific purpose in mind and kids know that they're supposed to use them that way, right? You're supposed to use a tool the way the tool is supposed to be used. We're very, very clear about that with young children. So when you give them a toy and it's only able to be used one way, they're going to get bored with it really, really quickly. And then when there's nothing to do, they're going to start disturbing. Jen: Bleeping the child psychologist. Allana: I always have an explicit warning on my own podcast because when I get passionate I run my mouth. But yeah. So, but if you don't give them those things that are closed ended to begin with, if you give them open ended stuff and you expect them to create their own world, they'll do it and it will be so immersive for them that they won't have time to make, you know, trouble. They're going to be so engaged in it. And that's the other thing is toys generally can only be used by one or two people versus open ended materials. "Okay, you want to come play with me? Great. Go grab a stick. Right?" So that's, it's a lot easier for children to join play when there isn't set materials for them to use, when everything's very open ended because they can modify what they're doing to include more people very easily. And to come back to kind of what you were saying about the play structure, that's another problem, right? There's usually limits on how many kids can be on the play structure, especially in school environments where they're like, you know, there can only be five kids on the play structure at a time that just hamstrings them. It cuts them off at the knees and when there's children, you know, want to come in, they can't. So keeping things and it's just really, the science across the board just says "Back off! Back off and they'll figure it out. That's what their brains are designed to do." Jen: Right. And that's really what builds a resilient person. Right? They can figure it out in a moment. Right. The other thing that had been talked about in New Zealand I remember is as playgrounds were becoming more safe, they were not just less risky as in, "Ooh, am I going to fall? Or it was also, they were less physically risky in that it didn't require as much strength to go over these different spots in the park. So the upper body strength in children is coming down big time because they are taking out monkey bars. They're taking, you know, they're taking out all these upper body things." Allana: Exactly. Because you've got children in occupational therapy to build that up because they're not naturally getting it, they're not weight bearing. I have so many clients who their child is in kindergarten and first of all they're asking these kindergarten kids to read and write when that's not developmentally appropriate, but they also can't physically do it because they don't have the strength in their muscles to do it. Like fine motor skills starting in your shoulder and they work their way down. Jen: Right. Right. Allana: If you don't use your gross motor skills. You can't use your fine motor skills when you need to. So yeah. And the other thing about reducing risk is that they're reducing small injuries, but the injuries that do happen are much larger. Children are breaking bones more frequently. They're, you know, having huge concussions when they do, because their vestibular system is so underdeveloped, they don't know the limits of their body. And so when they go to try and do something new, they can't tell if they can actually do it or not. Jen: Right. Because they've had no lower level risk that warns them Allana: They weren't able to build up to it. Jen: Amen. Yeah. Allana: We've reduced, you know, cuts, scrapes, minor stitches and we've turned that into breaks and concussions and it's, ask any occupational therapist and they'll tell you that a lot of these things are very easily solved just by sending them outside to play. Jen: Right. That's so interesting to just reframing it, right? These things are good. Like this is good for your kids to make these mistakes, have these small falls. None of them are life threatening, but they're teaching them about their environment and saving them from future. An analogy to that, actually, I posted a insta story a year ago with my oldest son on a little mini quad at his grandparents' farm and he was doing donuts and it was all dusty and I got so many from women that were like, "I would never let my child do that." And he had an accident that summer. He bumped into the side of his uncle's truck and he flew and hit his chest on the handlebars and it really hurt him and it really scared him. I mean, he's wearing a helmet and we've got that safety stuff. And I was like, "Good." I could see the donuts were getting a little out of control. I could see that kid needed some kind of little bump to remind him that he is on a machine and it happened and it was good. And he is much more safe now. And I guess, I guess what, and also my dad's a farmer, so I grew up in, you know, "dangerous" environment of, like, just roaming around a farm and yeah. And it's like, I see now how good that is, but you know, and I moved to the city and I think of all these city kids getting licenses at 16 and like, you know, we're a little, when you grew up on a farm, you're just driving, you drive, right? Like you drive when your dad's lap or you, you're helping, you know, you're way too young. You're 12 years old and you're helping move trucks from one field to another. And then I think of all these city kids getting their licenses and it's like that's crazy that they have no driving experience. And you know what I mean? So it's like- Allana: I was reading something the other day about how it's taking longer. Like when I turned 16 almost all my friends got their license on the first try. And apparently there's some statistics now coming out that it's taking teenagers longer to learn to drive because they're having to develop vestibular and proprioceptive skills that they didn't as a child. And so they're not able to judge where their car is in space. Jen: Oh gosh, that's so interesting. Allana: So yeah, it's, this isn't just about mom getting some breathing time of being able to clean the kitchen without anybody crawling up their back and about the kids being able to entertain themselves. These skills that they develop, that looks like they're doing absolutely nothing are so important. And they will follow them for the rest of their lives. And it's just, it frustrates me so much. Jen: Lauren had a question, I think. Allana: Oh yeah, Lauren, did you have something? Lauren: Yes. Can I, can I? Hello? Annie: Hi. Welcome to the show. Lauren: Hi, I'm over here. I'm trying to get a word in next to Jen. Annie: Good luck. Jen: Classic little little sister moment. Lauren: So I love all of this. Can I ask some practical questions selfishly that hopefully will benefit all of our listeners? I have a five year old and a one year old and I'm wondering like, okay, my one and a half year old obviously is probably going to have different boundaries than a five year old, but the five year old, I mean, I let her play outside sometimes, but I'm usually watching her through like the window and whatever. Like so what are, how do I introduce this concept to both of them in age appropriate ways? Allana: So the five year old, as you said, it's going to have a much longer leash than the one and a half year old. If you have fenced space, it's, that's easiest because it's easiest for us to back off. But generally what I do with little kids is I start by being outside with them but not being engaged with them. So like blowing snow in the driveway. They can't participate in that, but they can be outside while we're doing it, weeding the garden, they might join in but they're going to get bored and they're going to go do something else. Doing things that need to be done anyways, but, and that we're around, but we're not focused on them. We're focused on something else. So that's like step one is generally just getting them used to the idea that you're not going to be watching them all the time. And then step two of that is starting that way and then being like, okay, I'm going to go in and go to the bathroom. I'm going to go in and make dinner. And just gradually lengthening the amount of time that you go in at the end of your play time so that they're not going from "I'm inside and supervised, to I'm outside and not supervised." There's a buildup to that and it's amazing how, like, children are very intuitive. So if we have concerns, if we're scared of them doing something, they're going to pick up on that very quickly. Their limbic system is very connected to ours and our inter brain is going to go, "You're not safe!" And so they're not going to feel safe. So it's a workup for us too, right? We need to feel confident and comfortable leaving our kids alone. So those are steps one and two generally for me is just being outside, not engaged with them but being outside with them. And then at the end of that starting to introduce, I can go inside and you don't have to come with me. And once you kind of work up to a good chunk of time, then you can start sending them out by themselves and lengthening that amount of time so that you're like, "Okay, well, you go out and I'll meet you there. Like I'm just going to go and put this in the oven and then I'll be outside." And starting to get them used to going outside without you following behind them. And then you can go out again, do something else, not be engaged with them, but be around and then go back inside. So you're kind of working it from either end rather than just sending them out on their own. And that's generally a nice good workup for kids. They don't feel scared because they know you're coming, you know that you're not having to like peek through the window to keep an eye on them either because they can sense that too. Windows don't block limbic resonance. Lauren: Do you have tips if your yard is not fenced in, like, do you give them ahead of time, like, boundaries? Allana: Absolutely. So my favorite tool for this is go to Home Depot or Lowe's and grab some of that neon paint that they mark gas lines with when you call and be like, "Hey, I'm going to dig in my yard." And then somebody comes by and like Mark's all your gas lines so you don't hit a gas line when you dig. Go and get that and spray your property line. And I do that every spring with my two, because I have a two and a half year old. And so last year he was a year and a half and he wants to play in the front yard with his big brother, but there's no barrier in the front. So he was getting really angry because my big can let himself in and out of the backyard and the little one can't and he'd be so mad when my big one would leave him in the backyard. So I did. I went and I got the orange paint and I sprayed, just a line right down our ditch and down either side of our front yard. It doesn't look great, but when you mow the grass goes away and he, and I was like, "Listen, you cannot cross the orange line without mummy or daddy." And we walked the orange line and I showed him, "Yes, no, you cannot go on this other side." And it did. We had to work up to it Again, starting with me being outside with them and keeping an eye on them, but not engaged with them, reminding him that he can't cross that line and just very gradually backing away from him and letting him have more ownership over that. Now we can go just about anywhere. Like we have a cottage with a waterfront that we go to in the summer and now I can like walk up and like spray that line along the waterfront and I'm like, you can't cross the dark line- Jen: Take it to your hotel. Annie: The restaurant. Jen: The restaurant play here, don't worry, you can mow it out. Allana: I've done it with orange electric. Try and pick a color and stick to it because kids tend to get that, like, color association. But I've done it with orange electrical tape, like, we were at, actually just this last week, my big one was hospitalized and we were in this waiting room, like, it was like an examination room with the door didn't close. It was kind of like just a triage kind of space. And my little one was kept trying to escape and I busted out my roll of orange electrical tape and put on a hard line on the doorway and I was like, you can't cross the orange line. And he was like, "Okay." Jen: That's so awesome. Annie: it is. Allana: At this point that he's like, "No, we don't cross orange lines," causes problems when they're like, "Here you can go!" Like where were we? We were at Wonderland or something like that last summer and there was, like, a line on the ground to mark where you can't cross to go before you go on a ride. And they were like "Come!" and he was like, "Uh uh, we don't cross orange lines." Annie: So I have a feisty two and a half year old and I'm picturing this like it, like I'm, this is not that I don't believe you, but I mean- Allana: It's not an overnight thing. Annie: Yeah. I'm picturing me, like, getting out, like, rope or a spray can and like her just laughing in my face like, "Yeah, okay, mom. Right." Allana: Right. Well and they do. But that's the thing where you have to very consistently redirect them back to the other side. And- Annie: What have you used as appropriate consequences? Like do you say, like, "Sorry, we can't play outside then if you-" Allana: Yeah, well if you can't, so I often say like "If I can't trust you to stay on this side of the orange line, then we're going to have to go inside. Or if I can't trust you to go stay on this side of the orange line, we're going to have to go in the backyard that's fenced" and, or "if I can't trust you to be playing up" like often when I was starting to do this with him, I would be washing my car because my husband's a car nut and so it makes him very happy when I wash my car frequently. So I was like, all right, this makes him happy. This makes me happy. We're going to wash the car while the kids play in the front yard. And like, I mean it's nice when you have an older child who gets to be the tattle tale, but it was like, "Mom, Owie's going into the road" and I would bring him back. "If you can't stay on this side of the orange line, then you're going to have to come and sit in the car." And he was like, "Uh un." And I was like, "Yeah." And it doesn't take very many times of, like, "Hey," as long as you tell them what is going to happen before it happens. Like you can't spring it on them and be like, "Nope, if can't stay on this side of the orange line I'm going to strap you into your car seat." And then they're like, "Well, I didn't know that was what was on the line." Jen: That's actually, this is another huge takeaway I've gotten from your group is the whole concept of natural consequences, like, life changing. We could do a whole other podcast on it and I'm sure people can find more about it on your podcast. But I, it's just like brought my chill level into a normal range around my kids. And, you know, even, it was in your group, it was something about, it was just like this, right? So it's like you lay out the boundary, you tell them what the consequence is and it's a natural consequence. So it's so it's not like disciplining anymore, right? Allana: Exactly. Annie: It's about getting them to connect to the consequences of their actions. Allana: and kids can tell when we're pulling a power trip, right? Timeouts all that stuff. They know when we're like, "No, I'm just doing this because I can." And so, like, things with, "Okay, if you can't stay on this side of the orange line," the best logical consequence for that would be, "Okay, well then you need to go into the gated area." Like that's, he doesn't want that because he knows his big brother's not in the gated area. He knows that, you know, he wants to be in the front with us. And so that creates a consciousness in him that he's like, "Okay, I need to think critically about this. I'm not going to," and they will test. Kids are scientists. They use the scientific method with much more accuracy than any adult. And they will have a theory and they will test every variable possible, which is why I say, like, try and keep the color consistent because like my son, we were at my mom's once and she didn't have any orange paint, so I busted out some pink. Pink apparently doesn't have the same staying power. It is not an orange line. Jen: Oh my kids would do that. Allana: Because right. Anytime you introduce a variable, they have to test it. They have to, they're so inquisitive. They are scientific little minds. So, and that's where you have extinction bursts where they're like, "Okay, this was the limit before and now it's, there's a new limit. How hard do I have to push until we go back to the old limit?" So staying consistent really is the key to the whole but yeah, keeping, I've lost my train of thought now. Jen: You're amazing. Like you, it's like you're in a child's brain and the way you explain things is so fantastic. I can't wait to send everybody to your podcast and you just, and then suddenly my anxiety in parenting is just gone when I listen to you because I know I'm doing the right thing and it will work out. Right. You sometimes feel like you're just trying whatever, just try it, see what works. But I just have this, like, reassurance from you that it's just consistency. Allana: it's so much easier to let go when you know what's going on under the hood and you know how their brains work. And that's, like, my whole philosophy is if you can understand how your child's brain works, then you can work with it instead of against it. And so many of the conventional parenting wisdom is working against their brain. Annie: Right? Right. Jen: Yeah. Allana: Dominant. It's trying to exert dominance. Jen: Then you get struggles and they feel, yeah, it's- Allana: They feel controlled and nobody likes to feel controlled. You push back and they feel like they're being manipulated and treated like subhuman. So when we just treat our kids like we would not how we would treat an adult, but when we are give them that kind of respect, it's amazing how quickly they come onside. It really is. Annie: And I think from like a parenting perspective, hearing you as an expert in this field, pun intended, it's almost permission giving to say like, "It's fine. Go inside, go to the bathroom, put a frozen pizza in the oven. I mean that's what I would do. Like make a phone call, whatever. There'll be okay. And they need it. It's not just for you." It's, like, it just helps me like do this guilt-free. Allana: Totally. And like I've had clients with 11 year olds who will still make their 11 year old come in from the backyard when they need to go pee. Like when you go to the bathroom. Jen: Like that thread in the group before you came in and laid it down with everybody. I was like, "Who are these people?" Like how long are you gonna be like basically- Allana: And the funny thing. It's like my babysitter, my main babysitter is 11 years old. And when I tell people that they're like, "What?" They're like, "But you don't her alone with them." And I'm like, "Oh yes I do. She can." My 11 year old babysitter can feed my children dinner, bath them and get them in bed and an hour and a half flat. I can't do that. Jen: That's the other thing is that eventually we're working up or my son turns 10 this summer and we've kind of given him the, when you are 10 we will start leaving you a home alone. Like if I'm popping out for groceries or whatever. And it's this thing he's looking forward to and that's kind of the law here. Just so everybody knows. I know the law's different in different areas. But that is, we are law abiding citizens anyways. And so if you can't leave your child, like it has to start happening at some point, right? On a gradual basis. You can't be micromanaging your kid. And then he turns 10 or 11 or 12 and then you go, "Okay, we're leaving you alone." Allana: We don't give children any ability to experience minor risk and then they turn 18 and we're like, "Go out and innovate." Jen: Yeah. Go live alone. Annie: This sounds like- Allana: And they're like, "I've never done this in my entire life. You can't start with, like, throwing them out the door. Jen: And then they struggle. Right. And mental health issues in freshmen university students are just skyrocketing. Allana: Of course, living with their parents for longer and longer because they just don't have- Jen: They're not self sufficient. Allana: Yeah, you don't know how to cope without somebody micromanaging you and telling you what to do all the time. And then when people are like, "Make good decisions," you're like, "I don't know what that means." Because you have no. Jen: Yeah. Allana: Litmus test for it. So it's, it really is, you know, when people say early childhood is so important, it is the foundation for your child's entire life. And if you can't start trusting them when they're four with little tiny responsibilities, how are you going to trust them when they're 16, 17- Jen: Right. Yeah. The other thing I learned from you Allana that I wanted to say was about this bored thing. Cause I think that's the next thing, right? So, okay, your kids are playing alone, but they come back and they're like, "I am bored." I learned this from you in your group. You said it is not your job to entertain your child. And I, so that's just what I say to them. Now they come to me and say they're bored. I'm saying "That's not my job to find something for you to do. Like you, go find something to do." Allana: You are not a clown. You are not the family cruise director. Jen: Right. Sometimes I'll say, "Here's your options. You know, you can get out the coloring stuff. You can go out and jump on the trampoline" or I'll give some options to "Go get your bikes, go down to your friend's house, see if he wants to play." But I tell them all the time that "I am not here to entertain you. That is not my job." And that's been such a revolutionary thing for me too, because I, you know, you feel the pressure around that. Allana: Well, exactly. And that comes again to that pressure of they need to be enriched 24 seven if we want them to be smart. And that the only person that's available to enrich them is me so I have to be constantly engaged with my child and it's just not true. In fact, it's damaging. Jen: Right, right. Lauren: So I have my one and a half year old, like, he'll go play by himself, like, no big deal. But my five year old has always been, she wants to play with somebody. Do you have any tips for like training that'd be like you can, like, she'll go play for a little bit but it's, it's just she's completely different than my one and a half year old and she seems to only want to play with me. Jen: Or what about an only child? Like people that have one child? Allana: Only children I find are actually the best at entertaining themselves because they have no expectation. Like, even my older son is super good. He's really good at playing by himself because he had to, he had nobody to play with. My younger one is not so good at playing by himself because he's always had big brother being his cruise director. I actually find only children are usually very good at playing by themselves. It's not usually such an issue with them. There are children who are just, they're extroverted. They take energy from being around other people. Whereas introverts, that's expending energy, right? So it's a difference in what we find stressful. And so for kids then that's typically how I find kids who are extroverts is when they're like, they always want to be with someone. I'm like, "That's because that refills their tank. That's actually calming. Jen: Interesting. Allana: Versus children who are spending energy. So for them it's actually more calming to have people around and to be engaged with people. And these are the people who when they're in their 20s want to live in those houses with like 40 other people and they're like, "This is fun." And you're like, "No, that's stress. Stress." Jen: Annie, sorry. Annie's been waiting. She's got a question. Annie: No, no, no, no. Jen: She'll try to shut us down, I know it. Annie: I'm giggling because I am an only child and like- Jen: Oh right. Annie: But also, but I'm also an extrovert, so I grew up in a house where, and this might've just been a reflection of my mother and father who both worked full time. And I know that they were just tired when they came home from work, but I always got to have friends over. But I grew up, this supports kind of what you're saying. I grew up in a neighborhood where my, you know, I had three or four best friends within a block of, and we would just skip through the yard to get to, cut through yard backyards to go to the other person's house. And it was like, you just come home when the street lights turned on. That was like our guide and I was, you know, that was probably fifth or sixth grade, but that was there, you know, get on your bikes and you just go, you, you, and, and as long as you're home, by the time the street lights come on, like, we're good. Jen: I'm at the point where I'm like, when my kids are hungry, they'll come home. Like I trust. I've come to trust it. And because you're building this relationship, right, you give them more boundaries and more boundaries and then you as a parent, you trust. You know, it's always a little, once you give them a little more, then it's another trust thing. But then, you know, I've built, like, in our neighborhood with my three kids, we just, there's a lot of trust there with my kids now. And maybe I do, maybe I have my kids have more free reign than some of my neighbors, but I have trust there and I know my kids will get hungry eventually and they will come home and we just, it just works. Allana: Totally. And even like people will say to me like, how can you let your five year old go down the street? Aren't you scared he's gonna get hurt and not be able to tell you or you know that somebody's going to snatch him? First of all, my child is usually low jacked with a GPS. So we do live in 2018, these devices exist. Jen: Oh, you actually have a gps on your son? Annie: I actually have a gps on my son. It's the size of about a quarter or a looney. Jen: What do you wear? Can you tell us about that? Where you put it, how you? Allana: Yeah, so it's just I have, you know, those, tags that they put on merchandise in stores so that when you walk out, if you don't pay for it, it'll beep and flash and all that stuff. So those have a pin that need to be removed with a magnet. Right. So I have just a little fabric pouch. GPS goes in the pouch and it gets pinned to his, he's usually wearing cargo shorts. So we put it inside the cargo pocket and we pin it in there so he can't lose it. Nobody can take it off of him unless they removed his pants. And- Jen: And that's connected to your phone? Allana: It's connected to my phone. It doesn't track him. It just tells me where he is, where the gps is in that moment when I go to look at it. So I can tell if he's, and it's accurate to about 20 meters, so I can tell if he's in the general area that I expect him to be in. It also has the ability to send an SOS. So he just pushes on it and it'll alert my phone that he needs help so then I can go find him. Jen: What brand is this? Could you share that with our- Allana: Yeah, it's called a Ping gps. Jen: Wow. I am getting three. Allana: It is awesome. I love it. There are about 80 bucks and then they cost about five bucks a month US to run. But you can't get a cell phone plan- Jen: Look at Lauren writing. Taking notes. Lauren: Ping GPS. Jen: Lauren lives on a beautiful acreage with a huge, that's why she was asking about the fencing and stuff for kids. She always posts on Instagram these beautiful pictures of her back- Lauren: Snow covered. Jen: Yeah, it's November, but it's gorgeous. So, these would be very handy for you, hey, for your- Allana: Yeah. Jen: Country kids. Allana: It also takes off a little bit of that, you know, CAS call pressure- Jen: What if? Allana: Everybody's so scared that somebody is going to go, "You don't know where your kid is" and you're going to go, "You're right. I don't." Whereas if somebody comes to me and says, "You don't know where your kid is," I can go "Actually, he's within 20 meters of-" Jen: Right, right. Allana: The whole like, and even, I was talking about this on my personal Facebook page where I was sharing that No Child Left Alone Study with just with my friends cause somebody had asked about it and my aunt was actually like, well, like she was the perfect example of where you're not judging something based on the actual risk factors. She was "Never be too careful and the world is a dangerous place." And I was like, but it's not based on the statistics, based on the information we have, it's not. Jen: Right. Allana: We were talking about it because as you said, you know, we always give them those incrementally larger responsibilities. My five year old has wanted to walk to the bus by himself in the morning for school, for months now. And the other day he said to me, "Mommy, please, can I have the responsibility to walk to the bus all by myself?" Well, I can see his bus stop from my front window. It's literally two doors down. Our neighbors all know him. My neighbor who lives beside me is on maternity leave so she's watching him out the front door. She's always texting in the morning like "Good morning," I'm being watched. So I know she's watching him too and she's one house closer to him and I was like, I really had no reason to say no to him other than people who don't know you might think you're too stupid because you're too young. That's not a good enough reason for me. So I let them walk to the bus by himself and one of my neighbors took offence and called the bus company and was like, "I don't think this is okay." And they called me and I was like, "That's their problem." Jen: Right? Totally. Good for you girl. Look at you go. Allana: He's, you say, and it's again, we're, I'm pretty sure the directives we get next year are going to be rewritten because their directive saying that children need to be supervised at the bus stop. I'm like, that literally means they need to be watched. And I was watching him. It doesn't say they need chaperones. So we need to start kind of advocating on the competence of our children too because so many people are so quick to say, "Well, they're five, they're stupid" and no, like you know what your child is capable of and even what they're incapable of and nobody knows your kid like you do. So if you genuinely don't feel like your child can handle walking to the park by themselves because they don't have the awareness of people around them. They're not able to walk on the side of the road. Like I didn't just send my five year old to the park, we walked to the park together for many, many times, almost the entire summer. You know, I would send him to the park and I would stand at the end of the driveway and watch him walk to the park and then I would follow him with his brother. And we would do the same in reverse and like, again, you work up to it so you have to know your child's competency level before you, you try and give them a responsibility, right? Annie: I find it really inspiring and encouraging to listen to you Allana. Like just own your choices even with some pushback from spectators or neighbors or family because I would have, I think that that's something that I get a little nervous about too is, like, my kids, my two oldest run the neighborhood and I really don't, like, I trust them. They've haven't violated my trust. Knock on wood, I have no reason to second guess them that they're going to come home and they're going to be where they are and, but I am always like, what do other people think? Do other people, like, know that like they're okay and that we've had these talks and like there's just this fear of judgment or fear of like getting criticized and then they- Jen: They think you're a bad mom. Allana: Or that I'm just lazy. Jen: It comes down to that in so many situations of decisions we're making and Annie and Lauren and I talk about this around nutrition all the time, right? So it's like you're scared. Do they think I'm a bad mom? Like it's just this constant thing. Allana: And it's that moral judgment again, right? Like do they think that I'm being, that they're doing this because I'm lazy? Does that make them think that they're at a greater risk than they actually are? Annie: I just want to sit on my couch sometimes, and like, don't move. Jen: I do.The thing is, and this, I mean you see it too, like, if you want to take your kids to a park and sit on your phone, I'm like, do it. And I see these posts on Facebook. They're like the mom who just sat on her phone or her kids had to play by themselves and the child was shouting, "Mom, watch me." And the mom didn't look up. I'm like, the child will live, like- Allana: Our parents didn't do that for us. Jen: No. And sometimes it's all the mom has in her day to just be chilled out. Like I had three kids in four years and we lived overseas. So no family and in New Zealand, a lovely thing about New Zealand too is that all their playgrounds are gated. So, and you can't get out. So I could literally go in and just sit and just Facebook or read or whatever, just ignore them. And that was the only time I had and I'm all the power to ya, girl if that's what I'm on. If I see a mom with- Allana: On her phone and I got in it last summer with the mom, cause I do the exact same thing. I bring my laptop generally and I will tether to my phone and like work at the park so that my oldest, my youngest kid run around and ours has a fence but it's not a closed off fence. So I mean if they want to, they can escape. I've walked the perimeter with the many times we've talked about what the boundaries are. If my little one, I've showed him there is a gate, it's open, but that means it's a doorway and you need to stay inside the park or we're going to have to go home and he wants to play. And every once in a while I'll just shout out like "Cubs, where are you?" because we call them the bears and they'll go, "Here, here!" And I'll go, "Great!" And I don't even look up as long as I can hear them I know that they're close. And this woman was like, "Excuse me, do you know what your son is doing?" And I looked up and he was climbing and I was like "On the play structure?" And she was like, "Yes." And I was like, "We're at a park." That's what he's supposed to be doing. And she's like, "But you didn't know that you had to look." And I was like, "That's generally how sighted people determine information. Yes." She was so angry because I didn't have my eyes glued to his butt the whole time. Jen: Oh this busy bodyness is just killing us. Annie: Yeah. Allana: Kids don't need us to be in their face 24 seven. They need the space to play. And in fact, if you're playing with your kid and you're not into it, it removes all benefit of play for them. Both, all the people who are playing something need to be in a place state in order for the play to be beneficial. One person or group that isn't enjoying the play removes all the benefits of play for every single person in that group. So if your kid is forcing you to play trucks with them and you're like, "Oh my God, when is it nap time, I don't want to be here." They're not actually getting the benefit of you playing with them. Jen: Yeah, that's so interesting. Allana: So it's better to find something that you actually enjoy doing with your child and do that so that you're both in a play state, it's a frame of mind. It's not an action. Jen: Brene Brown has in her parenting book The Gift of Imperfect Parenting. They sat down as a family and made a list of things that fill everybody's cups and found the common ones and then that's what they focus their family time around now. And I thought, I thought it was such a good idea, right? Like it's mind. So Brenay Brown said it's mind numbing to play board games for herself and so she's just done. She's not doing it anymore. I was like, "Wow, it's so nice to hear someone like you give me permission to not do these things that I don't like doing with my kids. And I don't, I don't do things I don't like with my kids anymore either." Allana: Like I swim with my kids. That's what I enjoy doing. So we go swimming once or twice a week and we get in our mommy and kid time and that's great. Other than that, I'm like, "Please go do something else." And they're like- Jen: Raise yourselves. Allana: "How are you running a business at home? Mostly by yourself. Two little boys at home." And I mean, my oldest is in JK but he only goes three days a week. And I'm like, because they play by themselves. They go, I feed them breakfast, then I'm like, "Okay, play time." And they go and play in the basement and I'd go work and then they come up when they get hungry and I feed them and the little one goes down for a nap and the big one goes downstairs and play some more and it just gives you so much more freedom. It's actually better for their brain. Jen: And you're happier as a parent, right, having some time. And I guess before we wrap this up, I want to, you know, I just, I guess it's to, it's nice to let parents know that there is detrimental effects to your child by over supervising them, right? So just saying like there's measurable detrimental effects to these kids. Allana: Children who are closely supervised during their play will hamstring their own play. They won't allow themselves to go into a full play state because they're anticipating being interrupted or corrected. Jen: Oh interesting. Allana: So if you are constantly supervising your child's play, they probably aren't getting the benefit of their own play either. Even if you're not playing with them because they're anticipating having you go, "You can't do that. Don't use that that way. That's a firetruck, not a helicopter." And they're not allowing themselves to go into that fully immersed play state where all those benefits of play, all the problem solving and executive functioning skills and all that really get used in that play state. They keep their play very, very surface level when they're being supervised closely. Lauren: That's interesting because I find myself, I can't not correct when they're in view. So I put them out of view. I'm like, "Go in the playroom and play because when you are doing this, I cannot help myself but say stop it." Jen: It's like when I bake with my kids. I, like, can't handle cooking or baking with my kids because I, I just am like, "Don't do that. That's wrong. You're going to break it!" Allana: My mom's a pastry chef and God bless her, she can and I'm like, "Okay, that is your thing, Nana." She is totally into the whole cooking thing. And you know he got all these little, like, real knives and stuff, but they're small so that he can handle them. And the other day we were making, just chopping up potatoes for like roasted potatoes for dinner and he was like making these, like, really, like, random sized chunks. And I was like, "Okay, you're too," Jen: You're like twitchy about it. Allana: One inch cubes, not two, you're holding a knife and you're doing well. You're not killing yourself. Annie: Oh, that's awesome. So a lot of this is, I mean, it's not just about retraining kids to do this. It could be about retraining yourself too, or both or both depending on what you're kind of used to and what your goals are. And, but either way, I mean, just to summarize, this is good for both sides. Both parties, both parents, caregivers and kids when they have unsupervised specifically outside, but unsupervised play. So- Allana: Absolutely. And so many parents, so many moms express that guilt to me cause they're like, "I feel bad making the play by themselves. I feel bad that I'm not engaged with them. I feel super guilty." And it's like, "This isn't about you. This is about them." And it's, yes, it benefits you as well and that's nice, but this really is about them. This is for them. And it takes that guilt away. You don't have to feel bad for making your kids play by themselves. It's good for them. Jen: I want to just kind of leave us with this vision. I'm going to tell you something that really struck me when my kids were younger and was an eye opener moment for me actually. And I was watching, I was in a hard place with motherhood, right? Like these three kids under five, oh my gosh, under four actually. And I was watching The Good Shepherd and it's an old movie that takes place in the fifties. It has Matt Damon and Angelina Jolie and there's this scene where Matt Damon, he's coming home at the end of the day and all, and he's walking up to the house. It was a well researched scene and this is not even what the scene was about. It's just something that I noticed. The moms were all grouped together chatting in one person's front yard and they were all smoking as they would be in the 50s and kids were running everywhere. And I like had this pain in my chest when I saw it because it reminded me of how lonely I was and how parenting must've been so differently back then. Different back then. And not just that, I think moms are more lonely now. It's that kids are more lonely now in a way too, right. Because we are very isolated inside the homes and yeah, I just quite, I really quite crave are return to that and I feel like we've kind of found it in our new neighborhood and like it's just easier and simpler and yeah. Allana: I think, I think once we realize that what children do naturally is, there's generally a reason behind it. We don't tend to trust kids in what they're doing. We want to, we think we know better, but children know what they need and they'll do what they need. And once you can start to trust your kids that way and realize that what they're doing, whether it's a behavior, even if it's a maladaptive behavior, even if it's like what they're playing, if it makes no sense to you, children are doing things for a reason. There is never a child that is doing something just because they feel like it. Like there's never not a reason behind something that a child does. And so when you can trust that and trust that your child is doing what they need, it's so freeing for us. And it does allow us to go back to that, you know, children are allowed to be rambunctious. They're allowed to get hurt, they're allowed to be unsupervised. And you know, people keep thinking, "Oh well, you know, lots of, you know, the good old days didn't exist." Well, no, but we can bring them back in a modern way that is safe and comfortable for everybody. It doesn't have to be the way it was in the fifties for it to be beneficial. Jen: Right. We have tape and our GPSes. Allana: Exactly. That was a hard thing for me because I was like, I have a Bluetooth tracker on every, on my keys and my wallet. Even on my car. I have everything tracked. So not being able to have that connection to my kid was really freaky for me. But we have the technology, let's use it. Annie: Cool. Awesome. Allana, where can they find your group if they want to join? Allana: My group is called The Parenting Posse with Allana Robinson and it can, if you want to go directly there, it's facebook.com/groups/parentingposse. Yeah, and my Facebook page is Uncommon Sense Parenting. So because everything that I teach make sense once you think about it, but it's not common sense. Annie: Perfect. Well, thank you so much. This is great. I think, I know our audience is going to really enjoy this conversation, so thank you so much for time today. Jen: Thank you so much for all the help you've given me too, you've really changed the way I parented and I so appreciate it. Allana: That makes me so happy. I can't even tell you. Annie: Yay. Alright, well thank you. Good chat. Jen: Bye. Allana: Bye. Lauren: Bye. Annie: This episode is brought to you by the Balance365 program. If you're ready to say goodbye to quick fixes and false promises and yes to building healthy habits and a life you're 100% in love with, then checkout Balance365.co to learn more.…
In this member spotlight episode, Annie and Jen are joined by Balance365 member Bethann for a light and fun conversation about her Balance365 journey, living in the messy middle, loving the community and laughing together about equally messy minivans. Tune in for a great chat! What you’ll hear in this episode: Cleaning your environment of negative media messaging The value of supportive community Scarcity and consumerism Where we learn about what it means to be a woman Making the shift between focusing on weight loss to postpartum recovery and wellness Media messaging around how women relate to each other Social constructs of women in competition with each other How our sense of self worth impacts how we treat other women How increased self worth drives the ability to participate in your own life The role of sleep and mindfulness in determining appetite and true hunger Trial and error in establishing habits Giving yourself permission to figure it out Calorie counting and how it relates to hunger and satiety cues Getting to a place where food doesn’t hold so much power over you and what that looks like Discussing moderation with your kids Resources: Tracking Weight, Steps, Food: When It Hurts, When It Helps Arms Like Annie Everyday Strong Learn more about Balance365 Life here Subscribe on Apple Podcasts , Spotify , Google Play , or Android so you never miss a new episode! Visit us on Facebook | Follow us on Instagram | Check us out on Pinterest Join our free Facebook group with over 40k women just like you! Did you enjoy the podcast? Leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or Google Play ! It helps us get in front of new listeners so we can keep making great content. Transcript Annie: Welcome to Balance 365 life radio, a podcast that delivers honest conversations about food, fitness, weight and wellness. I'm your host Annie Brees along with Jennifer Campbell and Lauren Koski. We are personal trainers, nutritionists and founders of Balance365. Together we coach thousands of women each day and are on a mission to help them feel healthy, happy, and confident in their bodies on their own terms. Join us here every week as we discuss hot topics pertaining to our physical, mental and emotional wellbeing with amazing guests. Enjoy. Thank you so much for joining us for another episode of Balance365 Life radio. We are back today with our mini series called Member Spotlights. This allows us to introduce you to Balance365 community members who are just killing it inside the program so that you can take their wisdom and stories and learn from them. They're busy women and moms just like you who are changing their habits, their mindsets, and reaching their goals. Today you're going to hear from one Balance365 member who was determined to make changes to her habits in hopes of making a positive impact on her children's lives. Bethann is a seasoned member of our community who came to us looking for help in healing her postpartum body and has since stopped obsessing about food and exercise, lost 30 pounds, connected with true hunger and fullness cues and become more comfortable with taking up space in the world. I can't wait for you to hear more about this mom of three's experience inside Balance365. enjoy! Jen. We have a special guest with us today. Are you so excited to have her on? Jen: I am. She's like an old friend. Annie: I know. Well, she actually is an old friend of mine because I got to meet her back when I took a trip to Arizona. Jen: Oh right! When John went to Phoenix. Annie: About eight months ago? Jen: You had a little meet up with all the Phoenix- Annie: And there's was a lot of them too, which was great- Jen: girls. Annie: Yeah. So Bethann, welcome to Balance365 Life radio. How are you? Bethann: Good, thank you. Thanks for having me. Annie: Oh, thanks for joining us. I'm so excited to have you because we did get to meet in Arizona. And I think you messaged me, I posted an insta story that was like, "I'm in Arizona" and you were like, "Can we have coffee?"And then the next thing I know there was like eight of you and it was great. It was so fun to meet in real life, not just on the Internet. Bethann: I know. I was so excited and I remember getting ready to come meet you and my husband was like, are you going on a date? I was like, "Oh my gosh, I'm fangirling!" I was just so excited because you guys have literally you, the three of you have changed my life in the best way. So I was so excited just to be able to thank you in person. Annie: Oh, I remember you picking me up in your minivan. It's just like quintessential- Jen: Mom date. Bethann: Yes, that's a mom date. That's exactly it. The first thing you said was, "Is your van always this clean? Do you have children?" It's like, I do, but my husband's very tidy so they are not allowed to eat in our car. Annie: Yeah, I remember, I was like, "Is this new? Like did you just get this yesterday?" Jen: When my husband gets in my vehicle, he's like, "It smells like a barn in here." Like yeah, Kinda. Annie: There's probably a lot of snacks in the back too If you're hungry- Jen: Open a window. There's some French fries on the ground at your feet there. Annie: And if you look in the crevices, I bet you can find some goldfish. Jen: That's exactly what my vehicle is like. Annie: Oh, Bethann's husband is probably just having an attack right now listening to us. Bethann: Well, he's at work. Annie: Oh good. So you have been a longtime member. Do you remember when you joined Balance365. Bethann: I want to say it was 2015, so that was the year my twins were born and I actually found you because I had a really bad muscle separation from carrying my twins. And I found that out because I had a hernia after they were born and I had a CT scan done to see how bad that was. And my doctor says, "Oh, and you have diastasis recti." And I was like, "Well, what is that?" And he talked about it a little bit and I realized I probably had that after my first son was born and nobody mentioned it. I just had that six week follow up and they said, you can exercise like you normally do, which I did and probably should not have been doing some of the things I was doing and then I started searching because he basically said, don't do planks or situps- Jen: Right, there's not a lot of instruction from the medical community on what is, like, rehab appropriate and how to scale that back into a regular exercise routine postpartum. Bethann: Right. And that kind of scared me because I'm like, "Well, I like to exercise." So then I started searching and then I found the Mama Lion Strong website. Jen: Oh, crazy. That doesn't even exist anymore, that website. Bethann: And I found a little bit, Brianna Battle's website. And then that of course left led me to the Healthy Habits, Happy Moms' Facebook group. So, which gave me a lot of really great information. And then actually I had just done a couple of cycles of a 21 day program. Jen: We know what you're talking about. Annie: We know about that. Bethann: And then as I kind of dove further into the Healthy Habits group, I was like, "What am I doing?" I had done, like when I was younger, I'd done Weight Watchers, you know, in college and the more I read, I was just like, "I'm newly postpartum. Why am I dieting? Why am I worrying about this stuff right now?" And so the more I read, you know, and the more I got into the healthy habits group, I just kind of just stopped doing all it, stopped doing all that stuff at night. The first thing I did was unfollowing, I think I remember it was a post that Jen did that said stop following these kinds of toxic people and these toxic groups on Facebook and Instagram. Jen: Yeah, because they become part of your environment, right? Because social media is part of our environment now. Like, let's get real. The amount of time, I think I read a study that says the average woman is on her phone five hours a day, which is crazy. But I don't really want to look at what my phone usage is anyways. But it is part of our environment. And when your social media environment is all about weight loss or different unkind, unempowering messages towards women, that becomes your reality. Right? Annie: I would offer even a not meaning to have a negative impact on your life. There's some posts that can be really positive in nature, but for whatever reason they just don't make you feel good. Bethann: Right. Annie: And those should be unfollowed too. Maybe for now, forever, for temporary. Bethann: And I was just thinking, I was like, you know, when you're already in that postpartum space with all the hormones and you know, you're dealing with all those body changes. And I'm like, "This is a really good idea. I need to just kind of back off from this stuff and get to a better head space." And the messages in the Healthy Habits group are really positive. And all the women were really positive for the most part. And I was like, "This is really the space I need to be in right now to get to a better place." And- Jen: I think it's quite, it's just, it's like world shifting for a lot of people. Bethann: It is. Jen: It's a perspective that you have never been exposed to for some women. Right? Bethann: Right. Jen: It sounds like you shifted from thinking you can fix yourself with weight loss to realizing your body needed healing after having twins. And also what women really need to fix themselves isn't weight loss. It's a better relationship with themselves and food. Bethann: Yeah, I think a lot of women don't. And for me, just as an aside, I lost my mom at 10 to cancer. So I didn't have a woman in my life that really taught me about what most of what I learned about being a woman is from magazines or, what other women or girls around me were learning from magazines. So like all of those, like, you know, the Cosmo and Young Miss and all of those kind of horrible headlines on magazines were like the things that we're picking up. And, and I was like, it's not about makeup and swimsuits and diets and hair removal and any of those products or any of that stuff they push at you. But it took me to 2015 to get that because I didn't have anybody in my life that was able to be like, "No, no, no, no, no. This is all marketing. This isn't how you person"- Jen: Totally. Bethann: "This isn't how you become fully realized or happy with yourself." So to find a group of women who, like, "This is a bunch of BS, there are other things that fulfill you, you know, or even that I've always struggled with that concept that, you know, it's women against women. Like I always, whenever I had girlfriends who were like, "I don't like that girl because of this." And I was always like, "I'm not getting involved." Jen: Right. Bethann: Like, why is it like that? Why is it, why, why is it like that? I never quite understood that. And when I found Healthy Habits I was like "All of these women are uplifting each other and cheering each other on." It was like, these are my people. Like I was still happy. I always have trouble really making connections with girlfriends because there would be people, like I'd always meet women like that and I'm like, "I'm not doing this thing." So I'm moving on. Jen: Yeah. Which is another culturally prescribed behavior, right? That we're sort of pitted against each other. You see it in movies, you see it, you know, in different media that we have to compete for men. And there's just a big scary, you know, we have to be the thinnest. We have to, you know, there's just this big scarcity thing around beauty and - Bethann: Around everything. I feel like scarcity is a big theme. Jen: Well, scarcity drives consumerism, right. So- Bethann: And we don't need any of that stuff, really. We don't. Jen: Yeah. So were, you know, and we need to, you know, I think what we're trying to achieve is getting women to expand their definition of health and happiness. Bethann: Yeah. Jen: Past all the superficial stuff we've been sold that bring us happiness. Right? Bethann: Right, right. And I'm just, I'm so glad I, I'm just so happy to be here and I just feel like so much more of a, like a fuller more well rounded, happy, fulfilled person. Jen: Awesome. We love that. Bethann: Than I did before. I mean, so many wonderful things have come into my life since. Annie: Before we started recording I was just asking you some questions about this episode because having known you for a while I've seen some behavior changes or some non scale victories and even some scale victories that you've celebrated inside the group. And I just kind of blanketly said, "How has your life changed?" And you shared about the diastasis recti healing and you've shared that you have lost some weight, which was maybe a goal of yours at one time. But what I really loved about what you said to me, you said, "I've stopped obsessing about food and exercise and about what my kids eat, but maybe most importantly, I found my clan that helped me find my voice to speak up for myself and to allow myself to take up space in this world." And I think that's like, that's just beautiful. That's really great. Bethann: I really feel like I can, I used to not really say what I thought about things. Like I definitely had an opinion, but I didn't think my voice mattered all that much on issues. And now I'm not afraid to just say like, "Listen, I don't care if you agree with me or not. I think this is important. Annie: And I think when you start acting and believing out of this place of self worth and value just innately because you're human and that you should be treated with respect regardless of your body shape or size or how much you weigh or what food you eat and you're a good person because you're living, breathing person, it spills out to everything in your life and it started affecting how you see people and how you treat people and then in turn what you expect in response and sometimes, like, the stuff that was cutting it years ago isn't okay. Like I identify with the, you know, cutting down of other women when I was really insecure and self conscious, I did that to other women a lot because that's kind of how I talked about myself. And then once I increased my self worth and my value and became more at peace with my body as is, that stuff just melted away. Jen: So such a shift from focusing on the negative of what you saw on other women to focusing on the positive. And as Annie mentioned, that often comes as we build up our own self love, we suddenly feel more loving towards and less judgemental to people around us, which is just such a wonderful headspace to be in. Bethann: Yeah, it's just really nice to just be able to put that positive energy out into the world. Especially, you know, with so much negative things going on. Jen: Right. And you can't put that out there if you are existing in a universe where you feel very negative about yourself. But second to that is that you are, you are depleted, you are empty cup, you have nothing to put out in the world when you have an empty cup. So it's just that cycle of loving yourself, caring for yourself, and if everybody in our society did it, you know what that could do. Annie: Yeah. Good people bring out the good in people. Right? So, Bethann, let's dive into, let's shift gears a little bit and dive into the habits that were game changers for you in the program because I know you had a couple, do you want to share those? Bethann: For me it was a true hunger and goldilocks, really. I had, because I'd been in the Healthy Habits group for so long, I had, like, daily movement and neat down really well, hydration was down really well for me and balanced meals cause I'd done the powerball challenges several times before I did Balance365, but the things are really struggled with was I felt like I didn't know when I was hungry or when I was full ever. And I think part of that was doing, I've done several cycles of Weight Watchers and they were big on having, like, always have a snack with you always know when your next meal is a the five to six small meals, you know, make sure you have your points. And I made like doing the points you could eat, literally eat garbage, you know, within your points range. And I really had no idea when I was hungry or when I was full. I mean, I had no idea. So I really stopped doing that. And I did, you know, I was pretty good at meal prep already and so I would just wait until I felt hungry for breakfast and then once I did that and I was actually getting enough protein, that was really huge. The true hunger thing was really huge because then I was like, I am not hungry at noon, at lunch. Right. I'm not, I'm not hungry when my kids are hungry for lunch. I'm hungry at one 30. I'm not, I don't have to eat when they eat. And then that actually stopped the, you know, when they wanted snacks. I don't actually like Goldfish. I would always eat snack with them. I didn't like them. They don't taste that great. Jen: Wait a moment. Bethann: Or like, or some of the like, I don't really like animal crackers, you know, some of the things that would snack on with them, "I'm like, I don't really enjoy that." I realized I'm not hungry and that doesn't even taste good. So, and then after I got that down, I would actually, I kind of stopped eating breakfast and lunch with the kids and I started doing those two meals separate from them. So when they would like, either go down for a nap or were playing quietly, I would take my time and eat really, really slow. And then I realized, like, I actually can't eat all of this food, like the power bowls, like as you know, the rest of it, the portion sizes are a little bit too big for me and I would actually sometimes eat the, some of the lunch power bowls for the second half for dinner. I didn't realize, you know, I was like, "Oh that is way too much food for me." I didn't realize before, but then getting to that point and then sometimes I would notice, um, like throughout the month, kind of along with my cycle, like just before my cycle I would be super hungry, I could eat a whole powerball. So it was really, those two were really taking it very slow and listening to my body and listening to the different times throughout the month too cause my need would change. Sometimes they'd be really hungry and sometimes I wouldn't. Sometimes I'd need more, sometimes it would be less. So it really depended on, it also would depend on how much sleep I got. Jen: Totally. Bethann: If I got enough sleep then I wouldn't eat as much. If I wasn't getting enough sleep, my body would need more energy to keep me going. Especially with, you know, when I had like three toddlers running around, there was a lot more to do. So it was really, but it was, that was really, now it's easy, but at first it was really hard work because I really had to like slow down and sit with it for awhile and listen. Jen: And probably be imperfect. I think a lot of people struggle with this like, "What if I get this wrong?" And it's like "You are going to get it wrong. Guess what? You're going to get it wrong a lot of times before you get it right." Bethann: I would like, stop. I'd be like, "Okay, I definitely feel full. But then 45 minutes later I'd be like, I'm definitely hungry." So I would go back and eat until I felt full again and then so it was definitely kind of messy. Jen: Yeah, it always is. Annie: That's part of balance that's exploring what's too much and what's too little. Like that's how you find balance. And then like you said, Bethann, sometimes it ebbs and it flows. Like you do need a little bit more food for whatever reason or a little bit less food. Bethann: I felt like, it was just like I didn't stress about it. That was one of the things, like I would always go back to the material and one of the things, so I was like "Don't stress about it" or I would write down, I would take notes and be like, okay, well, you know, I kind of felt, like, I would think about how I felt about it and be like, I just felt more hungry. Like I was trying to be kind of like, "Whatever." I was more hungry. It's just food, right? It's not, I have to pay attention to what I needed. Not, it wasn't a want, it wasn't a, I wasn't having an emotional response to it. I actually physically felt hungry. So I really tried to go "Am I physically hungry or am I emotionally having a problem here that I need to work through?" And it was, you know, and sometimes it wasn't emotional thing. And I was like, "I really need a nap," or I really need to just, I want to eat this because I really am just stressed out. Jen: And sometimes that is what you need and that's fine. It's all about frequency, right? Like how often some people don't have any other tools in their toolbox for coping with stress then to eat. And that can become a big problem if, especially if you have a very stressful life., right? Bethann: And I did use those, the two questions, like what did I do well today? What did I learn? I actually had a reminder on my calendar, on my phone. And so at the end of each day, I would journal that. And then I would say like, "So today I learned I was feeling stressed about this. And my response to that was I either, like, coped pretty well with it by doing, you know, I meditated or I stretched or I went for, I took the kids for a walk because I was feeling anxious and upset about this. Or I talked to my therapist or I did this, or I didn't handle it as well as I would've liked and I ate a sleeve of Oreos but then I would write after it, "That's okay." Like at the time I did something, like, I would prefer I didn't do, I always reminded myself that it was okay. Because it was just one response in the whole of the journey. It was that day's response. It wasn't like I did it for a year. I did it that one situation. That's what I love about the Balance365 thing. Right. it's you doing it right. It's, you working through it. It's not prescribed. There's not meals, there's not points. There's not rules. Jen: It's not a pass or fail program. Bethann: Right. . Jen: It's a journey of self exploration and you can't fail at learning what works for you. Bethann: Exactly. So there's no, you're not going to get slapped on the wrist. Right. So I would write that saying "It's okay" was me saying you have permission to figure it out. So that was a big thing for me. Like you have permission to do what you need to do to figure it out. And so now I'm at the point where I can have a package of Oreos and I remember posting, like "I've had this package of Oreos in my pantry with like an Arrow to where it was and I forgot about it for three months." Jen: Yeah. Like, how does that happen? Bethann: Unopened for three months. And they're my, like, I am not a big store bought cookie person, but those were my favorite store bought cookies and I forgot I put them in my pantry. I bought them for me and I forgot about them. And I was like, "How did I get to that point?" Because they were kind of like my stress cookie. Jen: Well, you're not preoccupied with them any more and food preoccupations come from restricting and dieting. And when people approach changing their nutrition, they immediately go to, "Okay, what are all the bad foods I'm eating? What do I have to cut out? What do I not have control around?" But I guess what we have to understand is that it's actually the restricting that is causing those preoccupations and in order to fix this issue, you can't fix it at stopping and restricting. You have to address, you have to stop restricting that is the answer, which is very scary for some people. Bethann: Yeah. I mean, now I can keep all sorts of things in the house where I'm just like, "Yep, we've got that in the pantry and I don't really care." Jen: And it's just food. It's always going to be there. It's not, it doesn't have any power over you Yeah, totally. It's a great place to be. I wanted to circle back a bit to calories because you talked about being a point counter and all of that and we have a podcast on calorie counting in which Lauren does a good deep dive into the science behind calorie counting. I think we talk about when it hurts, when it helps, but one of the main issues is if anyone listening has an extensive history of counting calories or points or you know, whatever it is, one of the drawbacks of that is that it can disconnect you from your hunger and satiety cues. And our hunger and satiety cues are, honestly, our best calorie counters. And if you want to punch into a machine and get a rough estimate of what your daily energy expenditure is, that's fine. That can, but it is just an estimate because as you mentioned, our caloric needs change on a daily basis. If I go for a long run, one day, my caloric needs are different than the days when I'm sitting at my desk working most of the days, most of the day, if I am pmsing my body actually needs 90 to 300 calories extra those days than it does when I'm not premenstrual. And so when you're disconnected from your hunger and satiety, and when you aren't honoring your hunger and satiety, then you're going to be fighting with it. And it's always going to be this wrestle with your body of "Wow, you know, I feel hungry or I'm having these cravings, but I couldn't possibly, I'm at my point level for the day. " And as we know and have discussed in this podcast that wrestling with your body being at war with your body, you just never win it. I don't know really anyone who's winning that. Right, it inevitably leads to a binge and bad feelings and that cycle that almost every woman is stuck in. Bethann: I think I remember getting my points range for Weight Watchers and then like anytime I would go over I just felt bad about myself. Annie: So Bethann, I think, your experience with hunger and Goldilocks is, or I know, I don't think, I know is something that is been life changing for a lot of women in the program, myself included. It was such a game changer habit. And, what would you say are, in addition to the hunger and Goldilocks habits and all the other habits that you mentioned, what would you say, what's been the outcome so far of your effort into the program? Bethann: So, I've definitely, like, my body composition has changed, and I have lost weight but that, like I said, it wasn't my main focus because I feel like I gained a lot more self confidence and self love and value. But also just for my family, for my boys, I don't really worry about what they eat. I notice too, even like when we go to the donut shop and they'll pick out donuts, they don't eat the whole donut, they eat what they want and then they push it away, which to me really says something like they, that's a sweet treat. And that's not something, we don't get donuts every single day. But even then, you know, I know a lot of adults would be like "Donuts!" And they eat the whole thing. Jen: And some kids, once they get to a certain age, right? Like this is a skill we all kind of innately have. These are cues. Like when we have to go to the bathroom, we go to the bathroom. When we're tired, we go to sleep, our hunger and satiety are cues that we have and the thing is adults take that away from kids, right? By trying to control and restrict and tell them "This is good and this is bad" and if we didn't take that away from them then we'd probably all be okay today, but we're not. Bethann: Yeah. And that was another thing that he said, he came back and he said, "Sugar is bad," and I said, "Sugar is not bad. Sugar is in everything." He said, "Well, what do you mean?" I said, "Well, this apple you're eating has sugar, that orange has sugar, the potatoes have sugar, the bread has sugar." I said, "Sugar is not bad. It's in everything." I said, "It's not the only thing you want to eat. We want to eat some of everything." I said, "It's just part of, it's just food. Everything is just food." So you can't, no, you can't just survive on donuts, but you also can't just survive on carrots. We can't survive on ham. So- Annie: There's that balance and moderation coming back again. Bethann: So, you know, I, so I just have to, I kind of feel like, I'm like, okay, "Yep, that's what they said in school. But remember, you know, it's about what your body needs. If you ate just donuts all day you wouldn't feel very good, but if you ate just carrots, you wouldn't feel very good either. It's like, yeah, I know that. So, you know, I just kind of go back to it and it's the same with exercise I said, you know, "You can't run all day. You need to go to bed too or you need to sit and rest or you need to stretch. I mean, you can't just do that." And I exercise in front of the kids. My parents never ever exercised at all. So I was not an athletic kid in the least. An I did not, I did not do team sports in school, anything like that. It took me a really long time to find movement I liked. Arms Like Annie really helped me. I really. Jen: I'm on week 20 myself, actually, on Arms Like Annie program. Bethann: I'm doing Everyday Strong right now because I finished Arms like Annie, so I'm doing Everyday Strong then I'm going to go back to Arms Like Annie, but I really like weight lifting and I really like feeling strong. So I do it with the boys. They really love the inchworms and mountain climbers. The four year olds, the twins are like, "Is it an inch worm and Mountain Climber Day?" And they're down on the floor and it's really, really cute. But I love that they go, "Mom, is it time to exercise? Where's your workbook?" Because I printed it out. So then, "Where's the workbook? Let's do the timer for the 30 seconds. Are we dancing? Are we doing jumping jacks?" Like they know the workout and they're asking which day we're doing, "Do we need the resistance band or do you need your dumbbell?" And they know all of the workouts. And then even sometimes we do the videos on Youtube, we'll put it on the TV and, and they go, "Oh, is that Annie or is that Jen?" They know everybody and it's really great because they will come out and they'll come, they'll, you know, do everything with everyone. Annie: And, well, I even remember when I was in Arizona, I think I ended up like sending you like a FaceTime. Did we facetime? Bethann: He's like, "Will, Annie say hi to me? Annie: Like we're real humans. Jen: That's adorable. Bethann: I know, like, you guys are celebrities to my kids so, they're in the living room. They were like, "Are you talking to Annie and Jen?" "Yes. Right now." Oh my gosh, they're so excited. Annie: Maybe we need to branch out and do a kids exercise programs. Jen: Yeah, we can get ourselves a Sunday morning special. Bethann: But they could keep up with the adult stuff you do. I mean, they're like, "Are we doing the Sweaty Betty today?" Annie: Oh, I love it. Jen: Oh that's so cute! Bethann: You know, all of it. What I like is that I can do it in the living room with the kids. Annie: Yes. Well, Bethann, thank you so much for your time. Jen: Yes, thank you. Annie: I appreciate it. This is so good chatting with you, and I know you're going to inspire a lot of our community members to make changes for their kids and for themselves along the way, because yes, let's end those predatory companies. Bethann: Yes. Thanks so much for having me. You guys have really just, you make the world a better place. Thank you so much. Annie: Thank you for being a part of it. Jen: Thank you. Annie: Okay. We'll chat soon. Bethann: Okay. Annie: Okay, thank you Bethann: Bye. Jen: Bye. Annie: This episode is brought to you by the Balance365 program. If you're ready to say goodbye to quick fixes and false promises and yes to building healthy habits and a life you're 100% in love with then check out Balanced365.co to learn more.…
Do you ever feel like you would be more successful in your journey to better health if you had more willpower and motivation? Does it feel like everyone else has more willpower and motivation than you? Does it seem like all these changes are more difficult for you than other people? You’re going to want to tune in for this conversation with Annie and Jen for the truth about willpower, motivation and what action you can take to feel more successful. What you’ll hear in this episode: The definition of willpower How decision fatigue impacts the quality of choices we make What’s the difference between motivation and willpower? How preparation sets you up for success Meal planning - why it can be helpful What to do when you can’t rely on motivation and willpower How waiting for motivation gets in the way of change that matters to us The magic in boredom The Habit Hangover - what is it? What keeps successful people going What a study of soda and water in a hospital teaches us about habits How to curate your environment for success Resources: Atomic Habits by James Clear 53: Secrets From The Eating Lab: Dr. Traci Mann Secrets From The Eating Lab Arms Like Annie Learn more about Balance365 Life here Subscribe on Apple Podcasts , Spotify , Google Play , or Android so you never miss a new episode! Visit us on Facebook | Follow us on Instagram | Check us out on Pinterest Join our free Facebook group with over 40k women just like you! Did you enjoy the podcast? Leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or Google Play ! It helps us get in front of new listeners so we can keep making great content. Transcript Annie: Welcome to Balance365 Life Radio, a podcast that delivers honest conversations about food, fitness, weight and wellness. I'm your host Annie Brees along with Jennifer Campbell and Lauren Koski. We are personal trainers, nutritionists and founders of Balance365. Together we coached thousands of women each day and are on a mission to help them feel healthy, happy and confident in their bodies, on their own terms. Join us here every week as we discuss hot topics pertaining to our physical, mental and emotional wellbeing with amazing guests. Enjoy. Welcome to Balance365 Life radio. Have you ever felt like if you just had more willpower, self control or motivation, you would finally be able to reach your goals? We get it. We hear this a lot and it's no wonder. The diet and fitness industry have led us to believe that willpower and control are characteristics of driven, successful, healthy individuals. And if we just had more, we wouldn't struggle. But is that all we need? Do we really just need more self control? And if so, how do I get it? Cause sign me up! On today's episode, Jen and I dive into the theories and the truth behind willpower, motivation and self control and offer tried and true practical strategies to help you stay on track with your goals even when you're just not feeling up to it. And by the way, if you want to continue this discussion on willpower, motivation, and self control, we invite you to join our free private Facebook group. Healthy Habits, Happy Moms. See you on the inside. Jen, how are you? Jen: Good, how are you? Annie: I'm great. We are talking about willpower and motivation today, which is something that comes up so frequently in our community. Like how do I get more motivation? How do I get more willpower? Right? We hear this a lot. Jen: Yeah and everywhere, right? Even the messages we get out of the fitness industry talks about getting motivated and having more willpower. And sometimes those phrases are used in a way that can feel really hurtful, right? Like you're doing something wrong and everybody else, everybody else around you seems to be very motivated and have a lot of willpower and you feel like it's something you lack. Annie: Right? And if you just had that, if you had willpower and determination and motivation and self discipline, then you could achieve anything. Jen: Right? And how many times have we heard, "I just have no willpower and that's my downfall. No willpower." Annie: Right? Yeah. And so we've done a fair amount of investigation into what really is behind willpower, what's behind motivation, what's behind self discipline? Do you really just need more of it? Because that is the message. Like you said, that we've been sold by the fitness industry that like, "Hey, if you just stick to this thing, if you can just have enough self discipline and motivation to stick to this plan, then you'll achieve your goals." And so then that becomes a way in which people feel like they're feeling like, "Oh, I did this." Like you said, "I'm wrong. I'm a failure. I'm lacking in this element of my life and everyone else is doing it. And I'm not." And is there any truth behind that? And I think what we're going to share today might surprise some people. Jen: Yes. Annie: Foreshadowing. Jen: Yes. Annie: And I want to say, like, you've done a lot of writing on this too because a lot of this is in the first phase of our Balance365 programming called Diet Deprogramming. Jen: Yes. Yeah. Annie: And that's the phase in which we kind of challenge, not kind of, we challenge some of the beliefs that you might hold sold to you by the diet and fitness industry, right? Jen: Yes. And the science around willpower and motivation is very heavy. And so I think today we're going to try talk about it in less scientific but more practical terms. Annie: Yeah. Jen: That make sense to everyone. And they can implement in their lives immediately. Annie: Well, yeah, I mean, we're not researchers! Jen: That's the goal! Annie: I mean, I like to think that I'm pretty smart, but definitely not researcher level. Okay. So let's start with the definition of willpower. Let's just get really clear on that. And the definition of willpower is the ability to exert control and resist impulses. And the truth is that we all have varying degrees of willpower. And on one end of the spectrum you'll have people with almost perfect willpower. And on the other end of the spectrum, you'll have people with almost no willpower. And the vast majority of us are- Jen: Somewhere in the middle. Annie: And like Jen said, there have been a lot of studies done on willpower and a lot of theories and it's kind of an ongoing process and you might find some that kind of disagree with each other. So like Jen said, we're just trying to give you more practical advice on how you can reach your goals without maybe relying on willpower and what is clear is that one of our mentors, Steven Michael Ledbetter, he is an expert in the science of human behavior. It's said that people reporting high levels of fatigue are the ones whose lives require high levels of mental energy expenditure. And do you want to give us that marriage example that you share in Diet deprogramming? Can you walk us through that and so we can see what Steven Michael Ledbetter says applies to real life. Jen: Okay. So yes. So, you had just talked about how people who have high levels of fatigue are the ones whose lives require high levels of mental energy expenditure. So this might include having to make many small decisions or choose between similar options all day long, and so what this, what we talk about in diet deprogramming as we compare two people. We've got a stay at home dad and a working mom and I put out this situation where a working mom, she gets up early kind of before anyone else is awake and she has some quiet time, has her breakfast and then she dashes out the door and on her way out she grabs her gym bag, which is packed and ready to go right by the door and she heads up the door for work. Her day is, you know, maybe not a super high stress job. She has some responsibility, but it's not super high stress. Her lunch breaks are always scheduled. She goes to the gym on her lunch breaks. It's a automatic habit and then she returned home around 5:30, six o'clock. Meanwhile, stay at home dad. This is my dream life. That's why I use this as an example. He wakes up tired because he's been up with maybe a toddler a couple of times in the night. He wakes up to lots of noise too, maybe a baby and a toddler crying "Breakfast!" And immediately he's going, "What am I going to feed these kids for breakfast?" And gulping back coffee and then trying to get those kids dressed because they have an appointment at 10 o'clock and then trying to get himself dressed. And it's just the crazy, right? I think we've all been there. Annie: That sounds familiar. Jen: Yes. And then just getting those kids out the door getting, and then one of them saying they got to poop. So then coming back in to change a diaper, like just like madness constantly. Right. And despite his best intentions to do a workout during nap time that afternoon, he is just so mentally fatigued from everything that happened between 8:00 AM and 1:00 PM that by the time the afternoon hits scrolling Facebook and the couch have won him over. And then of course the afternoon to get up from their naps. Similar stuff, making dinner, just that whole crazy and working wife gets home at 5:30 and dinner is almost ready and they sit down for a nice family dinner. They get the kids to bed that night. They go to unwind on the couch. They might share a bag of chips and working Susie goes to bed at a reasonable hour. But stay at home husband is just mentally fatigued, is so sick of being around kids. This is the only time he has in a day to not be with kids and he ends up staying up til midnight like he does every single night. Just hoarding those hours for himself and that might lead to more chips, maybe a beer, watching TV. Then he goes to bed around midnight and it starts again the next day. And so this example I think is typical of what might be happening in a lot of people's households is, you, I don't want to say typical. I'll say it was typical for me for a long time. I don't know if it was typical for you, Annie, but and I would say that even though my partner had taken on the responsibility of earning and that was an enormous responsibility, I felt like my life was chaos, very hard to find a routine when my kids were all little, little. I had three kids under four and it was just that I felt like my mental energy was just, just chipped away at all day long. Just all those little decisions you have to make dealing with unreasonable little kids all day. And it was very hard for me to get the physical or mental energy together. And then it's a downward cycle, right? Like then you have staying up late then broken sleep, can't get up in the morning, can't get going. And you know, we know that spiral, right? Making not so great food choices. Annie: Yeah. it's hard to make great choices when you're exhausted, when you're mentally and maybe even physically fatigued, you're kind of not in a prime position to make a good choice. And the mental fatigue that comes with a long day of decision making, whether it be you, Jen, when you were staying at home or the husband that we described in the last situation, the long day of decision making chips away at your energy and your willpower. So you have the contrast of the working mom who didn't have to make a lot of choices or maybe she made those choices ahead of time. So when she was fatigued- Jen: Right? So she packed her lunch, you know, she packs her lunch the night before, packs her gym bag. Doesn't have to think about those things. And maybe, you know, I think about my husband when he would go to work, there were lots of decisions that needed to be made and he did work in a high pressure environment, but he had assistants, receptionists, you know, like there was a lot of people pushing the ball forward with him, and yeah, so, and I don't want to like create this comparison game. I just might help with conversations between partners or just reflection, right? And so yeah, like, “Wow, how can I reduce the amount of decisions I have to make in a day?” Because what we know is all those decisions is actually contributing big time to your mental fatigue. Annie: Right? And so that's why we talk a lot about things like habits. So when you walk to the fridge, you have your, maybe your lunch for the week, you know, you've got all your power bowls. That's why our power bowl challenge was so successful and we loved it so much is because you don't have to then think at 12 o'clock when you're already starving and like, "Oh gosh, what am I gonna eat for lunch now? And do I want to cook something? Do I want to go grab something?" Because convenience wins. We know that over and over and over again, that whatever is most readily available will likely win out, which we'll talk about how your environment impacts your habits in just a little bit. But essentially what this boils down to in real life that this means, although it may appear that some people have higher levels of willpower than you do, it's probably they've just have just less mental energy expended during the day on large or small decisions. Jen: Right. So that may mean they have less decisions to make, or it may mean that they have habits in place so that they are not making those decisions, right? So you know, if you've listened to our podcast for a long time, you'll know exactly what that means. But if you're new to our podcast, it's sort of how when I open up my phone each time, I don't have to think about what my passcode is to get in, right? But when you go to change your password, you put in your old code, you're like, and then you have put it in again, and then you put it in again. And then all of a sudden you're like, "Oh yeah, I changed my passcode." So that's just an example of where energy is expended in one little way, right? Until that new habit is formed and then it takes no energy for you to do that. Or I was on another podcast, a couple months ago and a farm podcast actually. And, I said to the host, I was trying to explain habits and I said, "What happens when somebody moves the silverware drawer?" And the host, the a male host, Rob, his name was, he goes, "10 years later, you're still reaching to get it out of the old drawer." And that's the thing, right? So habits, having habits set up, like packing your gym bag before bed, if that becomes a part of your night routine and then you don't have to think about it in the morning, "Oh, where's my pants? Where's my shoes? Where's?" Do you know what I mean? And so it's looking at it, you know, case by case. You think, well, these aren't big decisions. Like who cares? But it's actually adding up all those things through the course of a day where you're just like, "Ugh, brain done." Annie: Yeah. Like, you know, the term that comes to mind is just this like exasperated. Like "I can't, I just can't. I can't, I can't." I think I've said that to my husband before like, "I can't make a choice right now. I just need you to do this for me. Like I don't even care." And then he picked somewhere to eat and I'm like "But not that place." Self control is similar. In that when scientists analyze people who appear to have great self control, similarly, it's largely because they're better at structuring their lives in a way that does not require heroic willpower and self control. And in short, they spend time, less time in tempting situations. And that was pulled from also one of our mentors, James Clear, his new book, Atomic Habits, which if you haven't checked out that book or his blog posts they're great. He's hopefully similar to us really applies information to your lives really easily. Jen: Yeah. But ps, he may not know he's a mentor of ours. We may just be like silent mentees Annie: It's not like we're buddies. Jen: Annie, you took his course a couple of years ago. Annie: Yeah, I did. Jen: Yeah. Anyways- Annie: Maybe admirers. Jen: Admirers of his work. Stalkers? Annie: Creepers. Jen: We're not quite at that level. But and we also talked about this in our podcast with doctor Tracey Mann. She's actually done a lot of research on willpower and she talked about it in that podcast and what she had said is nobody has good willpower. You think, you know, nobody does, in different survey she's done when she asks people to rate their own willpower. Everybody scores themselves low on willpower. So nobody thinks they have good willpower. And this is just an excerpt from her book Secrets From The Eating Lab, which is another book we recommend all the time. "Humans were simply not meant to willfully resist food. We evolved through famines, hunting and gathering, eating whatever we could get when we could get it. We evolve to keep fat on our bones by eating food we see, not by resisting it? So is that a good segway into- Annie: Well, I think the takeaway is there, like you can take some of the pressure off yourself for not having like iron man or whatever, like discipline and willpower like, the truth is no one is like that. That's what we're trying to say is that people that you think have really good willpower have most likely, again, created their lives, created routine, created habits that make other options less tempting. They've made the choices that they want to make the most readily available, the easiest to choose, and the most obvious choice in their lives. Jen: Right? So instead of putting all this energy into kind of shaming yourself and getting down on yourself for not having perfect willpower and motivation, put your energy into what we know matters, which is curating your environment and setting yourself up for success, which I do almost every night with my nighttime routine, I kind of start getting things ready for the next day. Annie: Yeah. And motivation is also something that kind of goes, seems to go hand in hand with willpower. And we've kind of been using these terms thus far interchangeably, but motivation is actually our willingness to do things. And the thing about motivation is at times it can feel abundant. Like you have all the motivation and like, "Yes, we're going to do all the things." And then at other times it's like "I'm just so unmotivated, I can't, I can't do anything at all." Jen: Right. Annie: You've felt like that- Jen: Totally. Annie: You've felt that burst of motivation and I think the myth is, again, it goes back to that people that are achieving their goals or they're going to the gym five, six days a week and they're meal planning and their meal prepping and they're eating the foods that the meal plan and plan and they seem so disciplined also have unlimited sources of motivation. And that is not the case either. No one, no one is riding this motivation high all the time, every day. Jen: Even people who, say, prep meals in advance, I prep some or portion of food I'm usually on the weekends and that sets us up for success during the week, but by no means am I cooking and preparing all of my food. You sometimes see on Instagram, you know, like, people who, like, have all these dishes and they line them up and they post meal prep Sunday Hashtag motivation. Annie: It makes for a great photo. Jen: Yes. And they have all their breakfast, all their lunches, all their snacks, all their suppers lined up for the week. Which, honestly, all the power to you. Some weeks I probably could use that. I just don't have time on the weekends to do in depth preps like that. But I do perhaps some and I do meal plan so I know what's coming. That's when meal planning can be great because it takes away the mental energy of deciding what you're going to eat. But what I will say is even the stuff I do prep, I'm not, I don't always feel motivated to eat it. I'm not like, "Oh, can't wait!" I'm like- Annie: Yes! Amen! Jen: And I think even the people who prep all those meals in advance, they might seem really motivated on Sunday cause they've got all these prep meals, but I bet you by Thursday they're eating the same lunch that they had all week and they're just like not thrilled. Or drowning in BBQ sauce. Annie: I can't tell you how many times I have and this is something I would have done back in my deep dieting years is, you know, this on again off again thing, I would like clean out the kitchen. I'd have this like motivation usually triggered, I mean, let's just revisit the diet cycle here. Triggered by shame. I'd see a photo of myself and like, "Ugh, got to lose 10 pounds!" Clean up the kitchen. I'd run to the grocery store, buy all this produce and lean meats and veggies and fruits and like I'm going to do this so well this week. And then, like, come Thursday I'm like, "Ugh!" Because you get this burst of motivation and then to, like, continue to the follow through is, like, that's much harder and when you rely on motivation to do the things that's bound to happen. That's exactly what we would expect from a human because again, no one is riding this high of motivation, seven days a week, 24, seven hours, 24 hours a day, seven days a week. It's unreliable and it's fleeting. It comes and it goes, it ebbs and flows. It rises throughout the month, throughout the day. And, like, I notice it, my motivation rises and falls throughout the day and even in particular to do certain things. If I wanted to have motivation to go work out I know that it needs to be mid to late morning. If I wait until 6:00 PM to work out, it's probably not going to happen. Maybe some days, but probably not. Vice versa, if I try to work late at night, I can't work late at night. It needs to be like three, four o'clock seems to be like a really productive hour for me. So if I have something important to do, like, you know, kind of stack your day to where the motivation fits that task. Jen: Which can work. For me, the only realistic time I have to work out is super early in the morning. So I get up at 5:30 and I work out from six till seven three days a week. And I am never, ever, ever hopping out of bed excited, like "I can't freaking wait." It's just become a habit and which can lead us into a discussion about values and goals. But ultimately for me,I made a commitment to do this to my future self. So when I get up in the morning, I just don't let myself question it. Obviously if I've had a rough sleep or a sick kid, I will not get up at that hour. You know, I have grace with myself and I'm realistic. But yeah, I'm never motivated to do it. It's just simply become a habit for me. And something that's very important to me. Annie: I think that's a common mistake people make is they're sitting around waiting for motivation to strike them like lightning from the sky and as a result they're at the mercy of motivation. So they can't take action until they're motivated. That's like this belief that they have in their head. But you can also flip it and action leads to motivation, which research has proven as well. And I think just anecdotally, you would probably say the same thing. I would say the same thing. Like you get that first set in, you get your workout clothes on, you get into the gym and you start the workout and it's like, "Okay, I can do this now." And then you'll do it, and then it snowballs and it's like, and then you retrain your habit loop in your brain, like, I get up, I do the thing. The reward is I feel good. I may be more productive during the day, in the long term I'm improving my health, I'm increasing my strength, I'm learning new skills and then that's how habits are formed. Jen: Yeah, absolutely. Annie: Without relying on motivation. Jen: Right. Yeah. Annie: Boom. Jen: And that's why a lot of people give up on workout routines, right? Like how many people start something new and within three weeks they're done because they just, they lose, they're super motivated at the beginning, everybody is, when I started this new lifting program, well, its Arms Like Annie, it's your program, Annie,, I was very motivated but that really it doesn't last. And then you, then it's boring because then you're just putting in reps. But that's actually where the magic starts happening, I think, is actually those boring stages when you don't want to, that's when you're starting to, you're not relying on motivation anymore and you are truly training in that habit cycle and you might feel yourself resisting and trying to go back to old habits. Right? When my old habit is to sleep till seven, not get up at 5:30. But that's truly when the magic starts happening. That's truly around even where the tipping point starts happening, right, into forming a habit. And so that's why it's important to push through but not push through in the way that push through and find more motivation. It's like just push through like you're there, like this is, this is where it's going to happen. Annie: So that's, inside Balance365, that's something we call the Habit Hangover often. Like, we see that it's pretty common. Like, because people- Jen: This isn't fun anymore. Annie: Yeah. When they're motivated and they're like, "Okay, now this is just hard work and I'm not near as excited as I was when I started three weeks ago. And the newness, the shininess has worn off. Jen: Yes, new and shiny is gone. Yes. Annie: And again, that's another vote that we've said it before on the podcast. We say it all the time in our community. That's why we start habits small because when that motivation falters and it will then you're not relying, you don't need like this Richard Simmons level of willpower and motivation to do the thing that you're supposed to be doing if you start a little bit smaller versus like doing all the things at once. Jen: Yeah. So actually because I had struggled with, we moved a couple of years ago, a year and a half ago, I guess, and since we moved, I really struggled with my workout habit. So it was kind of last fall sometime where I just epiphany, "Look, this isn't working. I'm not being consistent because I haven't been able to find a time in my day that this really works for me. It definitely does not work at night for me." And that's something I just kept trying to do, trying to do, trying to do and then finally I was like, "Look, you're not going to work out at night." And so that's when I started getting up in the mornings and I actually kind of had the epiphany that's really what time works best for me and I had to start going to bed earlier and I started with twice a week actually. I was doing Mondays and Wednesdays only and that felt very realistic for me. And when things did get hard, I would say, "You know what? It's just two mornings a week. Like you, you can do this. It is just two mornings a week." And then when I felt ready, which is about two months after I started, I added in Friday mornings and now that's going really good. And we're going to add in a cardio, just a cardio session. And yeah. So, and that's just, that's really how habits form, right? Like that's so boring. But you scale up as you solidify new skills and habits, then you can add in something else and something else. And then all of a sudden you're living it and you're going, "Oh, this is happening and I'm doing the thing." Annie: I'm doing the thing. Jen: Yeah. Annie: Or the things. So to recap thus far, willpower and motivation is not what keeps most "successful people" going. It's their habits. And the next kind of layer I want to add on to that, which we've already touched on, is that your habits are highly influenced by your environment. And I want to share this study, I think we've shared it before, but really quickly, this is again, something inspired from James Clear shared before, but they did this study of soda and water consumption in hospital. And what they did was they let people choose their soda and their water consumption for two weeks, three weeks, whatever. They collected the data on the sales of each. After three weeks they added, they didn't change anything about the soda. They added water to different locations, more convenient locations throughout the hospital cafeteria. So again, all they changed was made water more available. And as a result, water sales increased and soda sales decreased. And I think that's just such a simple example of how impactful your environment can be on your habits. They didn't say, they didn't promote or push the water or give any marketing about how soda was "bad or harmful" and water was better. They simply just offered it in more places. And people are like, "Oh, there's water. I'll take a water now." Jen: Totally. So in my house, Oh boy, we talk about this all the time. My veggie tray. Annie: Yes. Yes. Jen: So fruits and vegetables are often things that people struggle to get enough in. And you have to make them convenient and part of your environment. One way I do this is one, I buy bagged salads and I just kind of have no shame around that when my salads are pretty much prepped for me, I'm eating them and enjoy them, but I am just not going to start from scratch every single meal to create a salad. That's a lot of work. And or maybe, maybe it's not a lot, but it's too much for me. And a second is I make a veggie tray every, that's kind of part of my meal prep. On Sundays I make a Veggie tray. I've got like an old one of those old Tupperware ones. I make a Veggie tray and then I'm usually restocking it by Wednesday morning. And I bring that out for most meals, lunch and supper for me, my kids. And I also pull from it when I'm packing lunches for my kids school lunches. And I keep all our fruit, most of our fruit, if it doesn't have to be refrigerated, I have it on the counter in just a little fruit basket and we go through fruit like crazy around here. But I have made fruits and vegetables very, I have put my energy into making those two things very accessible and then I don't have to think about it during the week. It just happens naturally. And that's what we're trying to say here, right? Annie: Yeah. And I think the other aspect to that is visual cues are really, really important. So because when you open up your fridge, you see the Veggie tray and it's, like, there. Jen: It's there. It's right at eye level. It's not tucked, you know, it's not tucked away. It's not in the back. I don't have my vegetables tucked in the drawers and the bottom. It's like right there. Annie: Exactly. I even remember you talking about, which you've seen my Instagram videos, you know, my kitchen also houses my dumbbells and kettlebells. But, but you did the same thing too, you were like, look, I'm not getting in a lot of movement and I want to, and it would be simple to incorporate some kettlebell swings, but in order for me to actually do that, I need the kettle bell in my kitchen. So every time you walked by it, so you ended up doing, you know what, 10 swings a handful of times throughout the day. Jen: Yeah. So yeah, so I have a big round Moved Nat yoga mat off my kitchen island. There's kind of just a space off my kitchen that's just blank space. I know not everybody will be able to find a space, but there's other ways to do it. But anyway, sorry, I have this huge round Yoga Mat. The boys use it to sit and play cars on or they sit on it and read. But I also use it, like, it's just there. So if I feel like doing some movement, whether it's getting on the ground and doing some glute bridges or pushups or whatever, my mat is right there and I don't have to go on my gross floors. But, and then I also have just, you know, I have my garage gym,, but I have one kettlebell that I keep up in the kitchen and it's kind of on the lighter end, but I can do, you know, I can do lots of things with it in my kitchen and I, yeah, I see it and I'll do it right. Which I know it sounds silly, but if I'm waiting for water to boil on the stove, I'll go over and do a couple of kettlebell swings or a couple of pushups or, yeah. And I mean that just works well for me. I'm not saying it'll work for everybody, but it just works well for me. And other people might find benefit in having a yoga mat in their living room and some weights, you know, beside the TV. And so when they're watching TV, they might just feel like, yeah, I could get down on the floor, do some bridges, some presses, some, you know, some yoga stretches, anything, right? Because if it's, but it's just about looking at your environment and say, how does my environment support more of what I want in it? And then on the flip side of that, which we talked about with Traci Mann, is how can I put small barriers in place between me and things that I want less of in my life. So for me, I keep, like all our nuts and seeds and chocolates, like really high calorie, high energy foods. I keep a lot of those above my fridge in the cupboard and then I don't, I can't see them. There's no visual cue to eat them. I'm having them when I want them, right. When I think of them and want them and reach for them. Annie: Right. And then you know that if I want them it's because I actually want them, not just because I see them and then I want them, which is like marketing 101. We think that we're in control. We think we're like making the choice. But a lot of times it's like the power of suggestion. Like I've said it before, my kids don't want the Goldfish at Target until they see the Goldfish at Target, at the end cap. Jen: It's why grocery stores put all that stuff right at the checkout. Right? All the trashy magazines, all the indulgent foods, like the chocolate bars, they put it there because they know you're going to be standing there awhile, waiting at the checkout and you're just more likely to grab it the longer you're standing there. Annie: Right. And the other thing about habits too is that, habits and your environment is that we often have a set of habits per the location we're in. So if you think about the habits you have in your bedroom, the habits you have in your kitchen, the habits you have in your, in the gym, the habits you have in a grocery store, you probably grocery shop the same path every time. You have your routine, right? You like grab your produce, you move to meats or whatever it is. Same thing with the gym. You walk to the same space every time, you put your bag down, you go use the same equipment, you probably have a favorite treadmill or a favorite squat rack or whatever. The thing is important to know is that it can be easier to change habits in a new environment. So if possible, like I'm not saying go out and buy a new house, but could you rearrange your furniture so maybe, or take a TV out of your bedroom or rearrange your furniture so it's not facing the TV and it's more conducive to reading or whatever habit you're trying to change. Or put a kettle bell in your kitchen or go to a different grocery store. Like would your shopping- Jen: Rearrange up cupboards or, yeah. Annie: Yeah. You don't have to like completely like burn everything down and start from new. But can you think outside the box of how your environment shapes your habits? Like even, James Clear, and I'm guilty of this, was talking about your environment should have a purpose. So, you know, he was working at his kitchen island. But he also wants to eat in his kitchen. And then it's kind of like, there was no boundary. That's like, now I'm working, now I'm eating, I'm eating and I'm working. So he created a new small environment out of his bedroom for an office or whatever. And like that's his work. When he's working, when he's there, he's working. When he's in his kitchen, he's eating and you know, on and so forth. So- Jen: I just- Annie: Go ahead. Jen: I posted about this in Balance365 a couple of months ago. I totally had that epiphany in the wintertime when it was chilly out, I started working at my kitchen table near the fire instead of my office. And I started snacking more and more and more. And then one day I realized, it's because you're just staring at the kitchen all day. You're just staring at the cupboard, staring at the kitchen and you're just triggered to go grab something to eat. Right. And so I moved back down to my office and that problem is gone. I'm not snacking between breakfast and lunch anymore. Annie: Right. Jen: And it's crazy, right? You think, you know, you think this comes to motivation and willpower again, but you just can't believe how much your environment influences your choices. Right. And again, my goal is not perfection. My goal is balance. So I'm not like saying take all the treats out of your cupboards and all of that. I feel like I have an appropriate amount of treats in my house stored in a space that aligns with the goal I have of balance, right. Annie: Right, right. Yeah. And I think that it's, you know what all of this really boils down to for me and I'm assuming for you is that self control and willpower and motivation can work in the short term. They can be a great short term strategy. And I wouldn't want anyone listening to this to think I'm super motivated, but I somehow have to like contain that motivation or pull back from that motivation because I don't want to like misstep or whatever. Like, no, if you're motivated to do something, you can follow that. Like you can explore it. It's not that it's a bad thing, but the point is, is that a better, in our experience, a better long term strategy for reaching goals boils down to habits and environment. Jen: Right. I don't, sometimes I feel super motivated to go for an extra run or walk or I do an extra workout. But another thing I just want to note is you don't want to, when you're feeling motivated, that's not where you want to set your bar, right? Like you don't, you know, some weeks I have my baseline habits, say, like my three workouts a week and that's just kinda my minimum at this point. I miss the odd one. We just took two weeks off, actually, me and my workout partner and that's all good. We're right back to our three times a week. But the odd time when I feel like an extra run or I feel like an extra workout, I don't bring my bar up there. I don't say, okay, now I'm at five times. I just, you know what, I recognize it as a week, even a month sometimes where I had a burst of energy and I utilize that and that felt great, but I don't bring my bar up there. I just recognize. Annie: Yes. It was just a bonus. Jen: I just feel motivated. Yeah. It was just a bonus. Annie: Yeah. That's great. This is good. I hope that this helps clear up a lot of the questions that we get about willpower and also helps reduce some of the shame and guilt that people might be experiencing if they don't feel those emotions or if they don't feel like they have those traits or those characteristics innately, and then, because I think I, you know, just on a personal note, I think people think that I am motivated, for example, to go to the gym three, four times a week or five times a week. I'm not. Like Jen said, like, there's days where I'm like, "Eh, I don't know." Like I'll text my girlfriend, it's like, "I need you to talk me into this." Jen: Right. Annie: Or "This is workout really doesn't look fun. I don't think I can do this," but it falls back to habits. I dropped my kids off at school, I'd go to the gym and if I can just get my kids in the car, I know that that trigger loop or that habit loop has started with my trigger of getting kids to school. And I know the rest will just fall in naturally thanks to habits. Jen: Yes. And I do think it is really key too, I don't think a lot of people do this and I think it's such a great thing to do is to stop, pause, especially if you've gone through any life transition, like had a baby, changed jobs, moved and think about where you can decrease the decisions you're making in the day. So my nighttime routine consists of, you know, washing my face, brushing my teeth, getting my workout clothes out, putting them right beside the bathroom sink so that when I get up in the morning, the first thing I do is get dressed. I get my coffee pot out, the coffee out. So you know, so just in the mornings, I just, I don't have to think. I just get up and do, and then I head down to the gym. Annie: That's great. Awesome. If you want to continue the conversation on willpower and motivation, come to our free private Facebook group with our Healthy Habits Happy Moms on Facebook. Jen, Lauren and I are in there frequently along with some really, really rad community members that have been around for a while and have great contributions, so we hope to see in there. Jen: Yes. Annie: Alright, thanks, Jen. Jen: Bye, Annie. Annie: Bye. Bye. This episode is brought to you by the Balance365 program. If you're ready to say goodbye to quick fixes and false promises and yes to building healthy habits and a life you're 100% in love with, then checkout Balance365.co to learn more.…
Following our recent podcast with Dr. Traci Mann, Balance365 Life radio listeners had additional questions about the weight set point theory. In this quick solo episode, Jen Campbell attempts to answer these questions, providing additional clarification and hope for listeners as they explore the messy middle. What you’ll hear in this episode: What is weight set point theory? Does everyone agree with weight set point theory? What is the difference between physiological and psychological pushback to weight loss Why habits of convenience are easier to integrate Questions to ask yourself to help determine if you are overweight Lifestyle setpoint - what it means to you Seasons of life and how they impact weight How stress can affect your weight What Dr. Sharma and Dr. Freedhoff have to say about determining if you are at a healthy weight Resources: Secrets From The Eating Lab book 53: Secrets From The Eating Lab: Dr. Traci Mann Dr Sharma and Dr Freedhoff paper Learn more about Balance365 Life here Subscribe on Apple Podcasts , Spotify , Google Play , or Android so you never miss a new episode! Visit us on Facebook | Follow us on Instagram | Check us out on Pinterest Join our free Facebook group with over 40k women just like you! Did you enjoy the podcast? Leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or Google Play ! It helps us get in front of new listeners so we can keep making great content. Transcript Annie: Welcome to Balance365 Life radio, a podcast that delivers honest conversations about food, fitness, weight, and wellness. I'm your host Annie Brees along with Jennifer Campbell and Lauren Koski. We are personal trainers, nutritionists and founders of Balance365. Together we coach thousands of women each day and are on a mission to help them feel healthy, happy, and confident in their bodies, on their own terms. Join us here every week as we discuss hot topics pertaining to our physical, mental, and emotional wellbeing with amazing guests. Enjoy. Jen: Hey everyone. Welcome back to another episode of Balance365 Life radio. For those who don't know me, I'm Jennifer Campbell, one third of the founding members of Balance365. Today is going to be a quickie, but also a pretty big topic. Are you overweight? And I don't mean where do you fall on the BMI scale because that is not a measure of health. It's a measure of size. I mean, are you above a weight that is healthy for you? We did a podcast a few weeks ago with Dr Traci Mann, author of Secrets From The Eating Lab. In that episode we did a deep dive into weight set point theory. That's episode 53 if you want to go back and listen. Weight set point is a theory that says our bodies have a programmed and largely predetermined weight range where we function best. When we try to live outside of this, our body will fight to get back to that range. The feedback we got from that podcast in and outside of our community is that it was depressing. For many women they felt as if it meant the body weight they are at currently is what they are destined to be the rest of their life. So we want to clarify. It's important to note that while there's plenty of evidence for weight set points, there's also critics. One of the most vocal critics is Doctor Yoni Freedhoff, an obesity medicine doctor here in Canada. If you follow us on social media, you'll know we have been slightly stalkerish lately, publicly asking him to come on our podcast. He speaks often of the psychological aspects of weight loss and the resistance that people have to change and how that is actually what's keeping people at higher weights than what is healthy for them. As usual, I want to invite you to explore the messy middle of weight setpoint theory with me. The tricky part of this discussion is that I know people crave black and white answers, but we cannot provide them. Nobody can. You are not a mathematical equation. You are a complex human being with your own unique genetics environment, lived experience, stressors and set of habits. What's right for you may not be right for the next woman and that's okay. So do we have a physiological weight setpoint? Absolutely. Just ask any bodybuilder about their experience getting down to unhealthy levels of body fat for competitions. That's a temporary state they're in for a few hours and their bodies are fighting it. But do we also have a psychological pushback? Yes, we totally do. And just because you find yourself resisting a new behavior doesn't mean your body is at its healthiest weight. It means your brain is like, "Hey, this is hard. Let's not do this." Human beings are wired to conserve energy, which is why habits that make your life more convenient solidify so quickly. So let's get back to the main issue. Are you overweight? We want you to look beyond the charts and graphs and instead look inside yourself. Today I have a series of self reflection questions for you. Here they are. Number one, do you struggle with the all or nothing mentality and the all or nothing behaviors that follow? Number two, do you have chaotic eating habits? Number three, do you have binge eating episodes? Number four, do you graze on food? Number five, do you frequently eat out of habit rather than due to hunger? Number six, do you frequently eat until you are stuffed? Number seven is emotional eating something you find yourself struggling with? Number eight, do you have poor sleep habits? Number nine, do you eat out regularly or do processed slash refined foods make up a large part of your overall diet? Number 10, does life feel very stressful? That could be your job, your relationship, financial stress, trauma, et cetera, and number 11 are you mostly sedentary? If you found yourself nodding along to this list, then you might, fine print, might be at a weight that is higher than your natural healthy weight range and honestly, it wouldn't be uncommon to find someone who answered yes to every question. To what degree a person is overweight, I don't know. That probably depends on how long the behaviors have existed and to what frequency they show up day to day. For example, if you find yourself emotionally eating a bag of chips once in a while it probably has had no effect on your weight or your health, but if you find yourself emotionally eating high energy foods every single day, then yes, it probably has had an impact on your weight and your health. So for you to change that behavior would likely result in weight loss. In the spirit of being in the messy middle, as we always are, at Balance365 we like to say "lifestyle set point" and that's because it acknowledges that there is a range of weights that are healthy for each person and that that range can change. So people are going to go through different seasons of life where the weight range that is healthiest and possible for them is different from the next. What your weight is when life feels easy may not be what you weigh when life feels hard and that is okay, it doesn't mean you are unhealthier and it doesn't mean you have less value. You can't necessarily control your weight, but you can adjust your behaviors during seasons of life to care for yourself in the way you need. We have to accept that sometimes the way we need to care for ourselves, the healthiest path for us in that time could also involve a weight fluctuation and maybe that's up or down. What we know undoubtedly is that the behaviors we use to achieve any weight loss must be done forever or the weight will come back. That's why working on habits, not diets is so important and that you choose those changes because you enjoy them or at least can accept them as part of your life forever. And lastly, I want to leave you with just two more questions. And this came from a paper by Dr Sharma and Dr Freedhoff and Dr Freedhoff, I had mentioned earlier, he's an obesity medicine doctor in Canada out in, I think it's Ottawa and Dr Sharma is also an obesity medicine doctor in Edmonton. And in this paper they have two questions to help people determine if they are at the right weight for them or not. And number one is, can you eat less calories than you are now while still enjoying your life? Number two, can you exercise more than you are now while still enjoying your life? If the answer is no to both of these questions, then you're there. If it's yes, then you'll likely see more fat loss if you make the changes. And I thought that was just so beautifully simple. I hope this podcast was helpful and maybe a little eye opening. Either way, we please leave us a review on iTunes. We appreciate them so much and I know Annie, when we're doing our longer podcast, she is always looking at the reviews and reading out the new ones. Alright, thanks everyone. Bye. Bye. Annie: This episode is brought to you by the Balance365 program. If you're ready to say goodbye to quick fixes and false promises and yes to building healthy habits and a life you're 100% in love with, then checkout Balance365.co to learn more.…
1 Episode 65: Parents, Kids And Sleep: A How To Guide For Families 1:00:54
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1:00:54Parenting can be exhausting, especially if your kids aren’t sleeping well. How do you help your kids get the sleep they need? How do you get the sleep you need? Jen, Annie and Lauren discuss these important questions with Dr. Craig Canapari to get listeners and their kids on their way to better sleep. What you’ll hear in this episode: Misconceptions about sleep training The role of mom shame in the decision to sleep train or not Harnessing habits for better sleep in your kids Sleep as a buffer for toxic stress Sleep debt - what is it? All or something - the value of incremental gains in your sleep habit At what age should you sleep train? Social jetlag: what is it and what does it have to do with sleep? How to shift your sleep schedule Dividing sleep responsibilities Sleep routine in blended families or single parent households Screens in the bedroom - why you should unplug How limiting screen time can improve your sleep How to help your kid stay asleep or in bed longer How sleep impacts weight Resources: Atomic Habits by James Clear It's Never Too Late to Sleep Train: The Low Stress Way To High Quality Seep for Babies, Kids and Parents - Link when available Dr. Craig Canapari’s Blog Learn more about Balance365 Life here Subscribe on Apple Podcasts , Spotify , Google Play , or Android so you never miss a new episode! Visit us on Facebook | Follow us on Instagram | Check us out on Pinterest Join our free Facebook group with over 40k women just like you! Did you enjoy the podcast? Leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or Google Play ! It helps us get in front of new listeners so we can keep making great content. Transcript Annie: Welcome to Balance365 Life radio, a podcast that delivers honest conversations about food, fitness, weight, and wellness. I'm your host Annie Brees along with Jennifer Campbell and Lauren Koski. We are personal trainers, nutritionists and founders of Balanced 365. Together we coach thousands of women each day and are on a mission to help them feel healthy, happy, and confident in their bodies on their own terms. Join us here every week as we discuss hot topics pertaining to our physical, mental, and emotional well-being with amazing guests. Enjoy. Annie: Welcome back to another episode of Balance365 Life radio. Before we dive into today's episode, I want to share with you a really sweet review left for us on iTunes. SPagan84 says, "I beg of you. This is what female need to hear. Annie, Jen and Lauren cover a lot of freaking rad topics. Women empowering one another, women evolving to be the best version of themselves and women learning to love themselves. This podcast is so much more than fitness and nutrition though they have a no bs approach to diet and fitness that applies to real life. I love, love, love the Balance365 life." Thank you so much to all of you who have taken the time to leave us a review on iTunes, we read every single one of them and they all mean so much to us. Alright, let me tell you about today's guest. Annie: Dr. Canapari is the director of the Yale Pediatric Sleep Center, father and author of his first book, It's Never Too Late to Sleep train. Shortly after becoming a father, Dr. Canapari realized that all of his years of 36 hour hospital shifts didn't come close to preparing him for the sleep deprivation that comes with parenthood. Inside his book, Dr. Canapari helps parents harness the power of habit to chart a clear path to high quality sleep for them and their children. Sound familiar? On today's episode, Lauren, Jen, Dr. Canapari and myself discussed the importance of quality sleep for not just your children, but why it's so important for parents and caregivers as well. Plus he shares a ton of great insight on to how to improve sleep for your whole family regardless of age. Enjoy! Annie: Welcome to the show. We have a special guest today. Jen, do you want to tell us how you met our special guest? Jen: Sure. So this is Dr. Craig Canapari. Hello. I found his blog, it would be over four years ago now because I had, my third son was a nightmare between the hours of 7:00 PM and 7:00 AM and I had never experienced this before. My first two were natural sleepers and I was going out of my mind by the time he was one. And so one night it was late and I was googling anything and I came across his blog and I got some answers to my questions and I've followed him ever since. Annie: Doctor, welcome to the show. Dr. Canapari: Thank you for having me. And that's very kind. I wish I could actually see what time of night people are reading my site relative to time zone because I suspect it's probably mostly in the middle of the night. Jen: It was probably 1130 for me and I was like crying and I just, yeah, so now I refer people to your site all the time as, like, an evidence based resource for um, parents whose children have sleep issues, which it's hard, you know, there's just so much. One thing that I will tell you that I appreciate and that I think a lot of our listeners might be able to listen to is that there's a lot of, I don't know if you want to call it pseudoscience or opinion based sleep recommendations online. And when I had my third, um, we lived in New Zealand and I, you know, they just, what I'll say is I was very wrapped up in the natural birthing community by the time I had my third and sleep training is just like "N-O" in that community. Like, your kid's going to get brain damage, they'll have neurological issues, attachment issues for life. Jen: And so I really thought if I tried to intervene in my child sleep that I was going to give my child brain damage. And what happened is I pretty much got brain damage from that year of trying to deal with him. And I mean I literally felt crazy where I, when he was one, I pretty much had a nervous breakdown and was in therapy and I was a mess. And it was, like, my marriage was falling apart, everything. And it was all because of, I wouldn't say all, you know, nothing happens in a vacuum, but in hindsight now we're four or five years later, I'm like, that year of sleep was like, it made me crazy, like crazy and this stuff is serious and people don't take sleep seriously enough. But like there are some women and men out there that are really, really suffering and they don't know where to turn. Dr. Canapari: Well, I think there's a, there's a lot of good points in what you're saying and the first thing is that I think that like sleep and bedtime are really personal things for people and, it's a totally separate issue, but you know, in our town, and you know, I've been involved locally, regionally, nationally with sleep issues for teenagers and trying to get more humane start times for teenagers. And there's something personal about bedtime and what happens in your house at night. So people aren't always open to advice. And I think there's also the thread of, it generates a lot of strong feelings for people and people have very strong opinions that aren't always grounded in facts. And I always laugh about the the idea that crying can damage your child's brain. I mean, my kids used to cry all the time over like the dumbest stuff. Dr. Canapari: Like in the book I talk about my kid was four and found an ant on his donut and he was crying. And I'm like, I don't think it damaged his brain, you know? But I think we're also a little bit more vulnerable when we're sleep deprived that things that are, you know, if you stop for a moment, you're like, you know, I think it's reasonable for me to expect that I get a decent night of sleep my child does. But you're more vulnerable to kind of this judgment that can kind of come in and, and you guys know all this as moms too, I think that the whole sort of mommy shaming thing is real. Jen: Yes. Yes. Dr. Canapari: You know, my boys were both born via c sections and the first one was cause he, you know, he couldn't be born any other way. And I remember my wife talking about, you know, some people would say things that almost made her feel like she hadn't, you know, delivered my son. Jen: Right. Like, are you mom enough? Dr. Canapari: Yeah, totally. Totally, totally. So I think that it's not that everyone has to sleep train their child. It's not that you have to use cry it out sleep training and it's also that sleep training has such a negative valence in our society. People are like, "Oh, it's just cry it out. And it's just this thing that a lot of people view very negatively." There are lots of things you can do that don't necessarily mean that your child is going to cry more. Jen: They are not talking about it publicly, but we're all googling it. It's one of those, like, it's become one of those secret underground things that we all want to do but we are afraid to admit it. I experienced this big time. I formula fed my first baby and um, that was horrific. I had a woman come up to me in the grocery store and ask me why he was drinking from a bottle. And it's just, yeah, like you, I've had three children and my youngest is now five and in hindsight I wish I could take all that pain away for new moms. Like I wish I could say, "Hey, it doesn't matter. Like, it really doesn't matter. Once they get up and going, you know, it's just, I can't tell the difference between my three kids who I sleep trained, who I didn't, who had formula, who had breast milk, who was born by epidural, who was born naturally. They're just, just choices that we make." Dr. Canapari: And especially with the first child, it's so fraught. I remember one of the biggest fights that my wife and I ever had was about what stroller we were going to get. Right. You know, and, and, and you know, I wanted of course this really stupid technological thing that she didn't want. And with the second kid, you're like, "I want the cheapest stroller that I can fit in my car really easily." It's just, you get a little bit more perspective, but I think you're totally right. Like as a parent, you kind of need to give yourself permission to be like, you know what, I'm going to do something a little bit different from some of my peers and it's okay. Jen: Yeah. In the end, you, you need to be okay. And I guess that was my greatest lesson from having postpartum depression, postpartum anxiety, and like, basically a nervous breakdown as I just talked about. I was not okay. In my pursuit of trying to find what was "the best" way to raise a child, I personally was not okay. And now I just believe so wholeheartedly that children need their parents to be okay and we'll and to be okay we'll all kind of make different choices in that pursuit. Dr. Canapari: I think that things have kind of pendulumed away from self care for parents, especially moms. And, you know, when the term attachment parenting was coined, it was in the 60s, and back then people were like, "Oh, if your child's crying, you should ignore them because otherwise you're going to spoil them." And clearly that's not true, right? It's natural to comfort your child. And, you know, there was a, uh, a lot of pioneering work done by a woman named Mary Ainsworth that sort of showed that, well, that's not correct and it's okay to comfort your child and be emotionally available for your child. But when we think of attachment parenting now, we often think of, you know, Sears and everything that's kind of come out of Sears' work. And I agree with a lot of what Sears said is that like, you know, you should be close to your child and it's valuable to make time if you would like to breastfeed to make that a priority. But, you know, there's little room there for the needs of parents, especially moms in that conversation these days. And you know, I tell parents all the time, like, you know, it's okay to fix this for the reason that you're falling apart. Like, you're a better parent if you're not super sleep deprived and your child will benefit. You know, it's totally, you know, and that's kind of my job. They know it's the case, but they almost need someone to give them permission to make some changes. Jen: And there's not, and you know there's like zero to 60 and then there's like level one, level two. Do you know what I mean? Like not, and I think it's scary to go from zero to 60 but you don't have to necessarily go to 60. There's interventions that can start here where you're comfortable and then you can assess from there. Dr. Canapari: Totally. It's not a binary thing that like you're doing everything or nothing or they're perfect or it's terrible. It's usually somewhere in between. Jen: Right. Dr. Canapari: And we all know as parents, you figure some things out, you get your kids sleep the way they're going, and then all of a sudden another kids waking up at night or they get a cold or it's never going to be perfect. Jen: Right. I feel like managing my kids sleep is like this ongoing thing that, you know, there's always something. So anyways, yeah, as long as we're all sleeping good enough, I'm okay. Dr. Canapari: That's my goal. Have you heard the whole a good enough mother? Donald Winnicott was this psychiatrist and pediatrician in England in the 60s and he coined the term "being the good enough mother." And it's just the idea is like if you love your child and you do your best to take care of them, they're going to turn out fine. You just need to be good enough. Jen: Right. Dr. Canapari: And I, and I just love that idea. It's like, "Hey, look, it's not going to be perfect." And like so much of parenting now is, like, full contact and be like, I've got to get my two year old studying Mandarin or you know, they're not going to law school or something like that. And really it's just, you know, do your best. It's okay. Jen: Right. Annie: Doctor, before we get into some of the questions we have for you, can you tell our listeners a little bit about your book? I feel very special. Your team sent me, an unofficial an uncorrected proof that's not yet for sale. So I feel like VIP having this book here- Dr. Canapari: It's full of typos. Annie: You know what, that's great because I'm the world's worst proofreader. Lauren and Jen- Jen: It makes us feel good enough. Dr. Canapari: I just went through, I think the final proof and I still found a bunch of stuff and I'm like, "Oh," I'm like, I can barely read it anymore. I've read it like a thousand times. Oh, I'm sorry. Go. Annie: I thought it was great. It's called, It's Never Too Late to Sleep Train: The Low Stress Way To High Quality Seep for Babies, Kids and Parents. And what I loved about it is that you have this little dedication right in the front of the book there to your wife and kids and it says "You're the reason I get out of bed in the morning, in the case of Teddy, often, literally." It's like you've lived this, like, it's not like you're just some doctor- Dr. Canapari: I've been in the trenches. Annie: Yeah. Which I appreciate. So can you tell us a little bit about the book? Like, when will it be for sale? Where can they find it? What's in it? Just give a little overview. Dr. Canapari: So the book is coming out in May 9th and you know, just to backtrack a little bit, I started writing stuff for parents online, in 2012, back when I was over at Mass General in Boston with the idea of that, my background was in pulmonology. I trained in sleep medicine as well, but I used to do sleep apnea research and the behavior stuff was kinda new to me and I was like, you know, I'm going to start writing these articles for parents and it's going to be my way to master this material as well and to have resources if someone's in the office and I don't have time to go through everything and be like your go to my website, this is exactly what I think is important. And, you know, as going through this over time and kind of learning how to do this as a parent and as a doctor, I realized there's a lot of great sleep books out there, but I generally felt like a lot of them are pretty long. Dr. Canapari: You know, I think Ferber's book, which is great, it's about 600 pages long and it covers things like narcolepsy in teenagers. And you know, if your one year old can't sleep, you probably don't care that much about that. And I also think that there's been a lot of new research since Weiss, Bluth and Ferber wrote their books that kind of, perhaps demystified this a little bit. And specifically looking at the psychology of habits, which is, you know, habits are such a hot phrase nowadays, right? There was the Charles Duhigg book, James Clear just came up with Atomic Habits. But just the idea of there is an underlying psychology that underlines all these automatic behaviors we have all the time. Right? Those fights we have with our kids, every day, that's a habitual behavior, right? Dr. Canapari: So if you understand how that works, you can maybe tweak those behaviors to, for lack of a better word, to kind of use the power of these automatic behaviors to help rather than hinder you. So in the book we talk about if you want to change your own habit, and I bet you guys, in terms of what you do, talk a lot about habits with your client. Jen: It's all we talk about. Lauren: I have James Clear's book, like, literally right next to me. Annie: Same. Dr. Canapari: Yeah, no, I heard it's great. I haven't read it yet, but I've followed his stuff for a long time. Jen: Yeah, he's good. Annie: He's great. Dr. Canapari: The difference is if you want to change a habit, you're going to change the behavior. You know, if we talk about the habit loop, you have a cue that triggers a behavior and you have a downstream consequence. And it loops around and around. Your child is not going to raise their hand and say, "Hey, you know, mom, you're super tired and I'm just going to stop getting up at 4:30 in the morning." Right? That's the behavior you want to change. So you have to think about what are the upstream things you can change and how can you change your own behavior in the way that you respond to what your child's doing to help to shape their behavior to what you want. So anyway, this book is my summary of the things that I've learned in my journey as a sleep doctor and as a parent. And, my specific focus is in a population that I think people don't focus on as much. Like there's a lot written about infancy and I think infant sleep training is actually really simple. Dr. Canapari: It's not easy, but it's simple. And I cover that in the book. But also what do you do if your child's a little bit older? What do you do in a toddler or an early school age child where the, when we think about sleep training, we may think about cry it out. That's not going to work in a three or four year old. You know, it might work, but it would be horrible for parent and child. So what are other ways that you can change a child's behavior that really just aren't so unpleasant or scary for parents and kids? Jen: The reason I found your blog was because my youngest son, no, this wasn't why I found your blog. I found your blog because of sleep aids, my son had a sleep aid and it was me. And, the second time I revisited your blog in detail that was helpful to me was that my youngest son has night terrors. And your, one of your sons had night terrors. Dr. Canapari: Oh yeah. And now he sleepwalks too. We were just on a vacation with his cousins in the middle of the night, we found him just sitting on the toilet with his pants down, but not awake. And I'm like, his cousins found this pretty amusing as did we, yeah, he's 11. He found it less funny but- Jen: Right. So yeah, I mean you really have been in the trenches and there isn't a lot of information once you move past the infant years. And so yeah, that was the second time your blog was very helpful to me, was seeing you had, you're not just talking about this, you had experienced night terrors with one of your sons and just the science around it and what, how you guys ended up dealing with it, which is now how I deal with it. And yeah, I mean that stuff is scary and very stressful for parents. Dr. Canapari: Yeah. And I think that, in some of the things you guys have, with the topics today, just sort of talking about, sleep and sleep debt and I think of sleep as a, it's kind of a capstone skill for parents and families, right. If sleep is good, other things get easier. If sleep is bad, everything gets, everything gets worse. Jen: So would you call it a skill? Cause I noticed, you know, you're not calling it a habit, you're are calling it a skill. So would you say learning to sleep as a skill? Dr. Canapari: Well, I think yes. I think especially for, look, you said your two older children were good sleepers. Right? Jen: Fantastic. Dr. Canapari: And, it just kind of came naturally to them and we all have experienced this as parents. Like, you know, my older son is a great sleeper, but when he was little, he was a picky eater and every child is good at some things and bad at other things. So, like, I think some kids sleeping comes naturally to them. Like self soothing, sleeping through the night is very easy. Other children need to need to be taught. And the way we call, sleep training is the process, the term we use to describe teaching our children to sleep independently with our help, either falling asleep or staying asleep. And it's funny, some of the research, one of my colleagues is doing at Yale now, Monica Ordway is, we're looking at sleep as a buffer for toxic stress. Like, you know, stress is, we all know what stresses, right? A little bit of stress as good. You want to study for an exam, you need to be a little bit stressed to do it. But being chronically stressed is, it can really cause harm to health. Like when your son wasn't sleeping for a year- Jen: I ended up with a registered Dietitian who was amazing, but I had gone down the woo hole, which Lauren, my partner here pointed me out, with diet, but I mean I was breaking out so badly and I was like so inflamed and I thought it must be nutrition related. And there were a couple of people out there willing to tell me it was nutrition related. So it's cutting out all that stuff and it wasn't working. And I had, I did go see two GPs where one prescribed this cream that basically burned my face off. And the second one wanted to put me on the pill, which is fine, but I didn't think that I was like, "No, there's something, like this is not, this is very abnormal for me. I've never struggled with this." It's finally Lauren had said, you need to get to a registered dietitian. Jen: And she sat down with me, went through what's happening in my life and was like, you need to get some sleep. Like you are so inflamed because your body is so stressed. And that ended up being what it was. It ended up being that when I buckled down and we kind of dealt with these issues with my son and actually what happened was my husband took him away to his parents for five nights cause he just needed to be away from me I think. And within three weeks my, everything was calm. My face was calmed down, starting to heal. Like, I would just wake up and look puffy, like when I was so sleep deprived, I wake up and look puffy and almost feel hungover and that all just, once I fixed our sleep issues, that all went away. Dr. Canapari: I find that totally believable. And first of all, as a sidebar, how great to find a provider who looked at your whole set of issues and really like, there's no upside for a nutritionist to say "It's actually your sleep," right, financially. Jen: Right. Dr. Canapari: But I think I know, Annie, you work as a trainer, right? Annie: Yep. Dr. Canapari: So I bet if your clients aren't getting results, you're probably like, how much sleep are you getting at night, right? Like you can't, you're not gonna you're, you're going to struggle with your weight if you're sleep deprived. You are, I mean, I know you guys wanted to talk about sleep debt. Sleep debt certainly is a real phenomenon. It's hard to measure biologically. It's not like you can do a blood test and say, "Oh, you have, you know, your level of this neurotransmitter is high, that means you're in this amount of sleep debt." Dr. Canapari: But we know that it's a cumulative phenomenon and you can't really catch up on the weekends. Right. There was a study of teenagers, again, I know we're talking about moms and little kids here, but I think it's very interesting. This researcher named Dean Bebe had this fake summer school for kids that they were enrolled in as a research trial. And they'd have these classes that were kind of boring and they'd sleep deprive the kids for like six hours of sleep a night for two weeks. And they let them sleeping on the weekends. And what they found was every day their performance was getting worse. And if they did, in terms of how they were retaining material, in terms of their vigilance, et cetera, and if they got catch up sleep on the weekends, they got a little bit better, but they didn't get back to their baseline. Dr. Canapari: So the next week they started off worse than they had in the beginning. So it just is going to keep snowballing. And the classic example is of a parent. I mean I think that there was a research trial published a couple years ago that said single moms are the most sleep deprived people in the United States, hands down, which I find totally believable, right? Jen: Absolutely. Dr. Canapari: If you're working outside of the home, you're a single parent, you know, you are getting your kids to bed and then you have all the work of the household to do. It's just, it's nuts. And it's not like with airline pilots or bus drivers or something like that where we actually have rules saying, well, you have to sleep x amount to do your job. Nobody's, you know, nobody's looking over your shoulder as a parent and saying, "Hey, you know what, it's 10 o'clock, you know, I'll take it from here." Right. Annie: Wouldn't that be nice? Dr. Canapari: Yeah, it would be pretty cool. Annie: That's actually, quite in line. You and I have talked over the phone before this podcast that we address sleep in Balance365 as one of, kind of the habit foundations or habit accelerators because we know, as people in the health and wellness industry that when you're tired, everything just seems harder. Annie: So in terms of sleep debt, if you have a sleep deprived kid or adult, how can you get out of it? Like how- Jen: I don't think we defined sleep debt either before we started talking about, so sleep debt Is what accumulates right? Once you go without sleep, you accumulate, you owe sleep debt. Dr. Canapari: Yes. Essentially. Essentially if you are consistently sleeping less than the amount of sleep you need, and we know for adults it's anywhere between seven and nine hours of sleep at night. Your sleep requirements might be a little bit different than mine. If you think back to before you had kids and you imagined f you went to bed at a certain time and you could wake up spontaneously without an alarm, that's about how much sleep you need. If you do that consistently over a couple of weeks, of course, none of us with children ever experience that. But it's if you are constantly getting less sleep than you need or your sleep is interrupted frequently as it is if we have a child that's sleeping poorly at home, you're developing sleep debt, which is just the biological imbalance. Dr. Canapari: When you think about sleep it's sort of like breathing, eating healthy food, breathing clean air, drinking enough water. We know if we eat poorly, we feel worse. If we we're having too many calories, the wrong kinds of calories, but it's the same. It's the same deal with sleep and sleep is, it's very easy to shortchange sleep, right? You can't manufacture extra hours in the day. It's easy to stay up a little bit later and you know, either catch up on work, do your email, fold laundry or even just get caught in that cycle of say, binge watching or something like that. Because we're surrounded by these addictive technologies that want to, you know, have our eyeballs instead of having us go to sleep. Jen: And, and just to that point, I mean we do, we're human beings are amazingly resilient. So anyone can tolerate a couple nights of bad sleep or a couple of nights of not great eating habits. It's really what we're doing day in and day out, week to month to yearly, right? Dr. Canapari: Right you can catch up to a degree on weekends, but again, most parents don't have that luxury. I think that the real key is, look, some people have weeks, months, years of sleep debt, the key is just going forward. How are you going to change your life to allow you to start getting caught up on that? And I think even if it's just allowing yourself to get an amount of sleep so you feel rested in the morning. In my clinic, we look at an incremental gains, right? Like if someone's going to sleep at midnight every night, again, I deal with a lot of teenagers who are sleep deprived. I don't want immediately go and be like, well, you should go to bed at eight o'clock night. We sort of start seeing, well, what, what can we do to get you to sleep at 1130 or 11? Like getting those small incremental gains are going to make someone feel better and be more successful even if it's not perfect. And it's likewise if you're working on your child's sleep issues, again, like little kids usually aren't that sleep deprived, right? Because they're going to make it up during the day. They're going to make it up in the car. They may have naps at preschool. They may nap great a preschool even if they refuse to now for you, which is a really frustrating phenomenon, right. Lauren: That's happening to us right now. Dr. Canapari: Yeah. And they're going to catch up but as parents we don't have that luxury, right? We can't take a nap. We need to be attentive when we're driving in the car, giving presentations at work or anything like that. When you get into older children, think later elementary school, middle school, high school, that's when those kids are going to have more difficulty catching up. The biggest reason to fix the problems in young children is to me, it's the benefit for the parents. Jen: Right, right. Annie: That's actually something you also addressed in your book, which I so appreciate as you have a section about what sleep training will do for you. You know, it's like it allows, it's like the snowball effect. As I said, everything's just seems harder when you're tired and all of a sudden when you're getting more rest, maybe you have more energy to get in a workout or have some extra time to go do Xyz or you're more productive at work or you're more efficient in the home or what, you know, whatever. It just seems to carry over and spill over into so many areas outside of the bed. Jen: What happened with my youngest son, and if you think this is way off, Dr. Canapari, you can tell me to shut up. I had three kids in four years and then my last one was this terrible sleeper and then I ended up, you know with the doctor or with that dietitian telling me you need to get some sleep. Even though my acne started clearing up after three weeks of consistent sleep, I noticed that I didn't wake up feeling refreshed for about a year. Like it took like a year for me to feel like I was recovered from those years with the kids. Dr. Canapari: So I think there's probably a lot of factors there, right. You know, working off a sleep debt is not something that happens easily, right. If perhaps your husband had said, I'm actually going to take all three of the kids for a month. Jen: Right. Dr. Canapari: You could've gotten caught up. But also, and excuse me for presuming you mentioned you were also struggling, struggling with some postpartum depression and that probably also could be factored into this as well. Jen: And starting this business and you know, there is stress definitely in my life. And also let's go over that year, the kids would get sick and you know, it's not like I had a year of perfect sleep before I felt recovered, but I just remember at that one year mark going like suddenly realizing, "Oh my gosh, I'm waking up in the morning and I'm feeling, like, refreshed." Like, yeah. So it was just, I was just very tired for quite a while after even getting the sleep training and not that, you know, not that things didn't improve for me, right, just by getting better, right? We talk in Balance365, we have this saying called all or something and it's like, when will it ever be perfect? But you can always, you know, there's usually a better choice available to you. It doesn't have to be all or nothing and- Dr. Canapari: Totally right. Jen: So and we have a lot of women who talk about, you know, they're just so fried from work and parenting that the evenings feel like the only time they have for themselves, like get the kids in bed at, you know, say 7:30, 8 o'clock and then they stay up til midnight because it's the only time they have for themselves in their week. And they just, they're just like selfish with it. They just crave that alone time so badly. But, and I, we all deserve that. Like, I get it and we all deserve that. But just even saying, okay, well instead of four hours for yourself, can you take three, go to bed at 11 instead of midnight. That gives you something. Right. Dr. Canapari: Well also, I mean, I think that if you can convince someone to get an extra hour of sleep at night, they're going to be like, "Oh, that is for me. Right?" Like getting that extra sleep is actually a really powerful tool I have to make my life better. Jen: Right. Dr. Canapari: And, you know, I certainly, you know, Annie and I were talking like, you know, to have finally developed an early morning exercise practice and now I just go to bed earlier cause I feel tired at like 10 o'clock at night and wow. You know, I used to stay up til like 1130 or 12 and I'm like, "Wow, I actually feel *inaudible*" and I'm like a sleep doctor, I should know this, right? It was very easy to stay up and like, you know, watch another show on TV or just kinda, you know, the time gets away from you when you're tired, right? You can just sort of be scrolling through Instagram or watching Netflix and all of a sudden you're like, "Holy crap, it's like 1145." Right. And I see parents where their young child is going to sleep at 11 or 12. It's more common than you'd think. Annie: Wow. Dr. Canapari: And I'm always saying to people, I'm like, "Look, I love my kids, but I am so done with them by like 8:30 at night. You know, like, they need to go to their place and be on their own so I can, you know, my wife and I can unwind." Jen: Right, right. Is there any truth to this fact that getting every hour of sleep you get before midnight is like two hours of sleep that you're getting after midnight? Is there any truth to that? Dr. Canapari: I think that's probably, I haven't heard that. I would say that when it comes down to is, the fit of when you're sleeping versus when your body wants you to sleep. Jen: Oh, okay. Dr. Canapari: I don't know if you guys have ever heard the phrase social jetlag. It's something we think about a lot in teenagers, but it can happen a lot in I think mostly not parents cause we get up early on the weekends. But if you think back, I can think back to before I had kids, I had a weekday bedtime and wake time and a weekend wake time and bedtime and wake time, right. Jen: So your weekends are maybe 2:00 AM to 10:00 AM. Dr. Canapari: Exactly. Jen: Yeah. Okay. Dr. Canapari: So I'm sort of like, on the weekends I was living on California time and the weekdays, I was living in Boston time. Jen: Right. Dr. Canapari: And we know it's not just the duration of sleep, it's the quality of fit to what your natural body clock schedule is that has a lot to do with it. Like, we know that shift workers, even if they get adequate sleep, are more vulnerable to certain types of cancer, certain types of chronic disease because they're not sleeping at a time where their body really wants them to do it and, we know, you know, you probably know, we all know, are we more of a night owl or a morning lark? A lot of us as parents, we become morning larks because we have to, and there's actually, if you look up online, you can look up a morning-ness, this evening-ness questionnaire that will actually tell you where you fall on this continuum. Dr. Canapari: You know, teenagers are, you know, kids are naturally kind of morning larks. Like most kids before puberty, they tend to want to go to sleep earlier. They want to get up earlier on average though there are exceptions. When they hit puberty, their sleep schedules shifts two or three hours later. So that is our, you know, in the, and that's when all of a sudden your kid that was going to sleep at eight o'clock, can't fall asleep till 11 o'clock at night and it's not just cause they're on snapchat or their smartphones and doing homework on the Chromebook. It's also just their natural biology. So I think that thing you're referring to is probably, you know, get to the idea of are people just not sleeping at a time when their body wants them to do it? That being said, most people are naturally, you know, I'd say if they go to bed between 10 or 11, get up between six or seven. Again, this sounds like a pipe dream for a lot of parents, right? But around there we'll probably feel pretty good. Jen: Can you shift that too, so if you found yourself to be, I mean it may mean some of us are forced to because of our morning lark children, but I recently, I would have considered myself a night person but starting in November I started getting up at 5:30 in the morning just because it feels like the only I can exercise or on days I'm not working out. I can get some work done before my kids are up. I'm less distracted in the mornings that I am in the evenings for whatever reason. And I feel myself shifting where I'm like- Dr. Canapari: It absolutely is something that you can shift. So generally, the levers you have to pull are, the most powerful one is light exposure. So light exposure in the evenings will tend to shift your body clock later and these are slow changes although it is always easier to stay up later, than go to bed earlier. Right. Jen: Right, right. Dr. Canapari: If you want to shift your sleep period earlier, you could probably go 10 or 15 minutes a night. If you wanted to shift your sleep later. Again, it's not usually what I'm trying to do in the clinic or what most parents are like, "Boy, I'd like to stay up three hours later and get up three hours later." Jen: Right. Dr. Canapari: But it's easier to go in that direction. So light exposure in the evenings is going to push your clock later and think about, well what's the light emitting device that we hold about 12 inches from our face? Jen: Smartphone. Right. Dr. Canapari: So smartphones will tend to push people's sleep schedules later. Evening exercise will also push it later. Jen: Oh, okay. Dr. Canapari: Conversely, exercising in the morning light exposures, the best is natural light exposure will move things earlier. So someone wants to get in the, you know, like you said, getting up earlier, exercise in the morning. If you can't exercise outside, that's great. Probably in Canada or Connecticut, we're not exercising with natural light in the morning at 5:30 in the morning cause it's still dark out and it's below freezing but those are really helpful things. In our clinic too, we use a lot of Melatonin. Melatonin in the early evenings will help shift people shift their schedules earlier as well. Certainly that's something someone wants to talk about with the doctor. Jen: Right. If melatonin is right for them. Dr. Canapari: Right. Jen: Okay. So back to sleep training kids. I know we don't want to talk too much about infants cause that's not even, we just don't want to spend too much time there because actually our audience has a wide range of age of children. But when I think one of the most controversial things is when to start sleep training a baby. Dr. Canapari: Sure. And I think that, you know, it's funny, there was a couple of years ago, there was an article in New York Times about a group in Tribeca, which is a very trendy neighborhood in Manhattan, was recommending the people sleep, train their kids at two months of age. And you know, they didn't publish anything on this, but they said they were getting good results. But I think that's a little bit too early. If you look at your average baby between four to six months of age, that's when they're going to start going for longer stretches of sleep at night. They're going to start to be able to fall asleep without being soothed by their parents at bedtime. So that implies to me that naturally speaking, they're evolving the capacity for longer periods of sleeping night. Jen: Okay. Dr. Canapari: I would say for most parents, between four to six months is probably the sweet spot. Jen: Okay. Dr. Canapari: But before then, you really, you know, the best thing to do is to soothe your baby to sleep, rock them, nurse them, give them a bottle, lay them down in a bed when they're asleep. Then around four to five months, that's when you can start trying to put your baby down drowsy but awake. And, if they fuss a little bit, that's okay. If they're screaming and yelling, maybe they're not quite ready from a biological standpoint. Right. It's, you know, the funny thing about when I had my second son is I'm like, "Oh, he's not exactly like the first one," which if you asked me intellectually I would've said, "Oh, of course they'll be different," but you expect your child to be this kind of the same. And, you know, and I say, parents just try putting them down drowsy but awake and see how it goes. If your child's hysterical, then wait a week or two and try again. Jen: Right. Okay. Dr. Canapari: If your child's sleeping through the night and you know, no matter what you do, you don't have to sleep train. Right. You know, it's not something you have to do. The reason you do it is so your child can fall asleep independently and stay asleep for the night so that we can get a good night of sleep. Annie: So two and a half is maybe a little too old to be coddling to bed. Is that what you're saying? Dr. Canapari: I mean, I think that it's fine if your child sleeps well at night, right? Like, you know, I always say like, if what you're doing is working, great, you don't have to change a thing. There's nothing, you know, sometimes I lay down with my kids at night at bedtime. My younger ones, like, will kick you out in five minutes. It was like, "That's great dad. You can go." As his words are, "I want to go to sleep in my own time." He doesn't even want me to see him setup his blankets and the older one wants me to stay a little bit longer. And I'm like, "Well, this is precious. He's 11. Pretty soon he's going to want nothing to do with me." So I'm happy to lie there. And I don't think there's anything wrong with it if your child is sleeping great and you're happy with how your child's sleeping, however, if you're not happy with how your child's sleeping, if you have to spend three of those precious hours in the evening laying with them to get them to fall asleep, if they need you multiple times during the night, then you may want to make a change. Dr. Canapari: Right? But you don't have to change anything if you're happy with the arrangement. The same thing with bed sharing. If you have a family bed and it's going great, provided that you're observing safe sleep practices with an infant, more power to you, that's wonderful. But if you're not happy and if someone's not sleeping well, then you may need to make a change. Annie: I want to keep the cuddles at bedtime and let her fall asleep on me. I don't want her waking up at night. Jen: Yeah, that's what I like. Annie: I want the best of both worlds. Jen: But I think that's quite common. It's, so there's getting the child to sleep, you know, baby, toddler, child, what, how do you keep a child sleeping? Dr. Canapari: Now that's the trick, right? So you know, I think it was actually, it was Richard Ferber, which came up with this idea of sleep onset associations. The idea that your child falls asleep under a certain set of circumstances, and then naturally, as he or she goes through the night, she wakes up at night. We've all experienced that. We may wake up at two or three in the morning, adjust our pillow rollover and go back to sleep. You may not even remember it if you're up for five minutes, but you know, as Ferber talks about in his book, if you woke up in another bedroom, you might be like, "What the Hell is going on?" And you might go investigate. So, it's hard to know what babies are thinking. But if your child falls asleep with you present and then goes through a natural awakening at night, she might need you to go back to sleep. Dr. Canapari: That's why working on independent sleep at bedtime tends to make those nighttime awakenings go away. Because once your child is able to put herself to sleep, she can go back to sleep with a natural awakening. And this dovetails nicely with a phenomenon we've all seen. Your child will have three hours of the deepest sleep of the night, stage three sleep, slow wave sleep at the beginning of the night. So that's like if you're driving back from somewhere, your kid falls asleep. You can pick your kid up, change the diaper, put them in a bed, they don't wake up and that's about two or three hours of sleep. But then, say you put your child to sleep at eight o'clock, you're getting to bed 11, all of a sudden you hear your kid calling for you, right. Because that's when they come out of that stage of sleep and they go through a period of REM sleep, REM sleep, or dream sleep clusters in the second half of the night. And it happens every two to three hours after 11 o'clock, that's when your child is going to wake up and request your presence. Jen: That's exactly what's going on in my house. It starts around 11. Dr. Canapari: Yeah, exactly. Just when you're getting the bad and you're lying- Jen: Yes. Dr. Canapari: Maybe tonight's going to be different, right? Lauren: Right. I remember that sense of dread. 11 o'clock. Jen: And that's actually when my sons, my boys go to bed at about 7:30, between 7:30 and 8 and they go to bed really well independently. But when my son was having really intense night terrors, I could almost set my watch to it. It was around 10 30 or 11 when he would start screaming. But now he's not having his night terrors s just getting up and coming to find me. And you know, parents are too tired, you're too tired to take them back to the bed. So he crawls in bed with us and I'm not happy with that, but it just seems like our best option right now. And I think what I found, cause I had mentioned earlier, I found on your website to talk about sleep aids and I think I'm my son's sleep aid. Like it's me. It's actually, and when he goes to his grandparents' house, he does not wake up through the night. He sleeps all night. It doesn't go looking for anybody. Dr. Canapari: Is it frustrating? Jen: It's so frustrating. Dr. Canapari: I guess you're doing it wrong. You know, I always like my parents applying like the finest seventies parenting techniques. No, when my kids are over there and I'm like, you know, I just, you know, give them like Coca Cola, like all the stuff that I'm like, I would never permit in my household and, you know, it's fine. But that is one of those things. And that's why I think one of the things in your outline, is I think is, I just want to get to is, is dividing sleep responsibilities in the household. If there's a two parent household, it's very important that both parents participate at bedtime. And, I can't tell you often I hear the story of you know, someone and it's, let's be real here, if it's a mom and a dad in the household, it's usually the mom coming in and saying, "Well, he'll only go asleep for me." Dr. Canapari: And the dad may say, you know how dads are, "I can't do this. You know, you have to do it." And, you know, I think that best practice is at an early age, get both parents involved at bedtime. But if, you know, sometimes, as you said, sometimes mom needs to go out of town. Right? Like if you can't, if you leave town for a couple of days, guess what? The dad's gonna figure it out and your kid will figure out it as well. It's not like if you, you know, if you had to go away on a work trip, your child would not sleep for five days. Right? Like, that's just not how it works. And I think it's really important that any one of the household who is a caregiver helps. Dr. Canapari: And, you know, I even give parents a script. I mean, I to say, you know, "I know we're both concerned about our son's sleep. I really need your help. You know, like, the doctor says you need to help at bedtime and I'm going to go out." You know, it's likewise in blended households, if parents are separated, like single parents, et cetera, it's very important that kids have the same set of rules and have consistency at both homes if there are sleep difficulties. This is the struggle for a lot of families. I mean, you know, many, you know, every parent wants the child to sleep well, but say they're at mom's house on the weekdays and on the weekends the Dad may let the kids stay up later, and just lie with them to go to sleep and that you know, that it's fine if things are going great but if things aren't going well it's really important that everyone who cares for the child get on the same page. Jen: Right. And with the same routines. Dr. Canapari: I mean it's not going to be the same in both households but as close to possible in terms of the timing, in terms of what you do and specifically in terms of is a parent there when the child falls asleep or not? Annie: Right, right. Okay. Do you have any, I know you have a whole chapter in your book dedicated to sleep environment and location and I think there's probably a lot information in that chapter that could apply to adults in addition to kids. Do you have any, are there any like non negotiables are things that you would really encourage people to consider in their sleep environment? Dr. Canapari: Oh man. I'd say getting the screens out of the bedroom and, I think there is, when I started working as a sleep doctor, when I finished my training in 2007, the big argument was does your kid have a TV in the bedroom or not? Right. That was what, you know, that was often the conversation. That's often the conversation I was having with families would be like, "You need to remove the television from your child's room because they're sleeping poorly." Nowadays it's not a conversation about television in the bedroom, it's about tablets, smartphones, et cetera. And we know these devices are corrosive to sleep, you know, as we were talking about earlier, the bright light can actually shift your biological clock later. We also know that these devices are profoundly addictive, right? Like Instagram doesn't make money if you're not looking at Instagram. Jen: There's a lot of research put in to how to keep people there. Dr. Canapari: The smartest psychologists in the world are in Silicon Valley trying to addict you to these services. Jen: Right. Dr. Canapari: Yeah. And, I encourage people to keep them out of their bedroom and really to be pretty strict. I love now on, what's the feature called on the iPhone? It's screen time. Lauren: Screen time. Yeah. Dr. Canapari: It's generally been a positive with my kids, except when I'm at work on a snow day, say, and they keep sending me messages to give them more screen time, but I think they kind of get it. And I also liked in my phone says at 10 o'clock being like, you know, it basically kind of shuts it down and I can bypass it. But taking that step being like, "Do I really need to keep scrolling through this right now?" You just need that little check and really ideally keeping the devices out of the home because, you know, I'm very careful about shutting off alarms on my phone. My wife has all these alerts on her phone. So if like something on the Guardian website, the UK goes off a news alert goes in the middle of the night, she gets an alarm and I'd be like, do we must we know what, what the queen said in the middle of the night? Sometimes I get up in the middle of the night and I turn off her phone. Jen: So just getting all those alerts off notifications, like just- Dr. Canapari: Yeah, if you can keep out of the room and if your kids are little, setting this example now will pay dividends when they get older. Right. Jen: Yeah. My son, I did this as an incentive for them to get their butts going and get ready for school in the mornings. They are allowed to watch TV or play video games once they are ready for, ready to go for school. So that just got them go hustling. Right. So they could watch some TV before school and when it started they would, that meant 10 of TV before we had to leave for school. But I have found over the last year that it has increased because they're getting up earlier and I am not sure. I'm wondering if that's because there's some kind of habit or something built in where they're there, maybe start rousing a bit in the morning, but then all of a sudden it's like "TV, I can watch TV." And so it's, I didn't mean to, so there's, it's like they're sleeping less and I don't know if there's any science behind that, but I swear if I cut out TV in the morning, they'd sleep longer in the mornings. Dr. Canapari: Well, I mean, how badly do you want to do that, right? Jen: I don't know, I don't know if it's negotiable or not. Dr. Canapari: In general, I like incentives for behaviors that are desirable and really getting kids ready in the morning are one of those situations where you have so little leverage, right? Jen: Right. Dr. Canapari: Like if your child, if your child is difficult in the morning, what is the outcome for them? You have to drive them to school. Like they know that they have you over a barrel. I think that maybe putting a limit on being like, well you know, here's the maximum amount of screen time you could get. But it is one of those things like as you go through the night, your sleep gets lighter and lighter. Right? That's why it's so much harder to get kids to stay asleep. Especially to do early morning awakenings than it is to get them to fall asleep. Both in terms of behavioral techniques and even, cause I see kids with sleep problems bad enough I write for prescriptions. Dr. Canapari: Any medicine that can last long enough to keep a kid asleep in the morning is going to last too long. You just can't calibrate it that way. So I think that if your children are functioning well in the morning and going to sleep at a reasonable hour, they're getting enough sleep. I wouldn't worry too much about it unless it's disruptive. But if you feel like they're really struggling during the day, like if the teachers are giving you feedback or they're falling asleep on short car trips during the day, then maybe you want to think about a different incentive to get them going. Annie: Right. Right. Jen: Right. Lauren: I'll say, Jen, something that we did with Elliot this year is she would wake up at like 4:00 AM and come in my room and wake me up. "Is it morning time yet?" Cause it's dark, you know, when she would wake up I'd be like, "No, go back to sleep." She'd come in at five. "Is it morning time yet?" So we got this little alarm clock thing that lights up green when it's morning. Dr. Canapari: The "Is It Ok To Wake?" clock? Lauren: Yes. Dr. Canapari: Yeah. No, I think, I think that works really well. And, you know, it's, I think Andy alluded at the beginning, my younger son was, for a while, was a real early riser. I mean, I remember going to Disney World when he was like seven and taking him for walks so my older kid and wife could sleep until 6:30 in the morning, you know, like, I like the okay to wake clock and an older child to who can get it, you can be like, look, "You can get up and play in your room and read books." Lauren: Yeah. She's five, so she's old enough to understand, you know. Dr. Canapari: Yeah. I mean a two or three old is just going to roam, right. You know, but and that's the important thing too, you know, in terms of the sleep training conversation, it is very clear that sleep training, even cry it out sleep training is effective and it's safe. But the best study, looking at the safety of it, they were looking at things like that always gets trumpeted as side effects of sleep training, elevated cortisol levels at all, et cetera. It all was fine at the time where kids were age five and it really seemed like most kids were sleeping pretty well by age five, no matter what you do. There are exceptions to this, right. You know, I've explained this in my home, in my clinic certainly, but I think the message to parents is positive. Like address the problems you need to address for your sanity. If you're doing things that you know aren't quite best practices like lying with your two and a half year old until they fall asleep and they sometimes crawl in your bed at night but you can live with that, that's okay. Your child is going to be fine. If you are okay, if you can live with it, right? It's like parenting is an exercise in compromises. You can't potty train your kid and sleep train your kid and like you can't fix everything at once. So it's okay, pick a problem you want to work on and work on that. Let the other stuff slide you're going to be okay. Annie: I think that's a wonderful message to wrap up on because it's like, it's very much in line with our program as well. Like, find what works for you and it's good enough. That's all the is really important. Even if it's not best practice, you know, the ideal or whatever it is. Dr. Canapari: Well. Yeah, and I think that if, correct me if I'm wrong, I believe one of the focuses that you guys talk about with, is clients the right term? Annie: Members, yeah. Dr. Canapari: Your members is weight control, right? And I just want to leave with you with, I think that's something that's so important is we know that sleep curtailment is associated with increased appetite and increased weight gain. And, I just saw a great research talk showing that the hormonal reasons for this were different for in men and women. But the outcome is kind of the same, that if we sleep poorly, we accumulate more adipose tissue, more fat. We have more hedonic eating, craving for salty, sugary foods. So I think, and of course I'm biased, but for people that are struggling with their weight, improving their sleep is such a important thing to do. And if the way you do that as improving your child's sleep, think about that as another goal why this is worth your effort, right? If, we'd all like to, most of us, you know, want to maintain a healthy weight, and working on sleep is going to help people do that. So I think that's an important message even if your members don't have kids, working on their own sleep is going to be a really high yield thing for them to do in terms of their health. Jen: Right, right. So like regular sleep will lead to more regulated eating, which leads to a stable regulated weight. Dr. Canapari: Absolutely. Annie: There's not much that more sleep wouldn't do good for people. I can't think of any, too many negative outcomes for more sleep. Dr. Canapari: Yeah, no, absolutely. I think that most of us professionals, grownups, we're working on sleep debt, we need to chip away at it because it's going to help us be healthier, feel better, and you know, to kind of be the people we want to be. Annie: Yeah. Thank you so much doctor. There's so much good information here. I can't, I think our listeners are just going to really, really appreciate this. And we will send links to go find your book because I'm sure by the time we release it will be out. So congrats on the book and thank you for joining us. We appreciate your time. Dr. Canapari: Thanks guys. It was fun. And yeah, I'm sorry we didn't answer all the questions you sent me in advance, but I'd be happy to come talk to you guys again some time. Annie: Yes. We'll have to have you back for sure. Okay. Dr. Canapari: Take care. Jen: Thank you. Lauren: Bye. Dr. Canapari: Bye guys. Annie: This episode is brought to you by the Balance365 program. If you're ready to say goodbye to quick fixes and false promises and yes to building healthy habits and a life you're 100% in love with, then checkout Balance365.co to learn more.…
Can alcohol be a part of your life of moderation? Jen, Annie and Lauren sit down and discuss how alcohol can impact your health and fitness goals and your life, how to assess if it’s time to make a change and how to implement that change if needed. Cheers to moderation! What you’ll hear in this episode: How the United States Dietary Guidelines Advisory Committee defines various levels of drinking Mommy wine culture - what it is Habit replacement as a way to break a habit Identifying the components of a habit loop - reminder, routine, reward Using small obstacles to interrupt a habit Curating your environment for habit success The relationship between ease of access of alcohol and consumption Tracking consumption to make decisions about how much is too much Separating emotion from tracking How alcohol impacts hunger or perceived hunger Questions to ask yourself around your alcohol consumption How alcohol impacts your next day food and movement choices Deciding what’s negotiable and non-negotiable for you personally Physiological effects of drinking Resources: Episode 15: Habits 101 – Hack Your Habits, Change Your Life Episode 22: The Oreo Cookie Approach To Breaking A Bad Habit 53: Secrets From The Eating Lab: Dr. Traci Mann Learn more about Balance365 Life here Subscribe on Apple Podcasts , Spotify , Google Play , or Android so you never miss a new episode! Visit us on Facebook | Follow us on Instagram | Check us out on Pinterest Join our free Facebook group with over 40k women just like you! Did you enjoy the podcast? Leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or Google Play ! It helps us get in front of new listeners so we can keep making great content. Transcript Annie: Welcome to Balance365 Life radio, a podcast that delivers honest conversations about food, fitness, weight, and wellness. I'm your host Annie Brees along with Jennifer Campbell and Lauren Koski. We are personal trainers, nutritionists and founders of Balance365. Together we have coached thousands of women each day and are on a mission to help them feel healthy, happy, and confident in their bodies on their own terms. Join us here every week as we discuss hot topics pertaining to our physical, mental and emotional wellbeing with amazing guests. Enjoy. Annie: Do you need to give up alcohol to reach your goal? Improve your health? On today's episode, we are talking all about booze. People drink for a variety of reasons. For many, alcohol just tastes good. It can help us unwind, connect socially, and maybe even increase creativity. In my experience. Drinking in moderation can be fine. I absolutely enjoy a glass or two of wine here and there, but maybe you found yourself wondering if cutting back or eliminating alcoholic beverages altogether from your diet would help you reach your health or weight loss goals faster. Or maybe you've noticed that a few drinks on a Wednesday night snowballs into poor sleep, missed workouts, and less than desirable food choices the following day. If that's you, you've got to give this show a listen. Jen, Lauren and I discuss how alcohol impacts our health and questions to help you decide if your intake is helping or harming your lifestyle. Enjoy. Lauren and Jen, we are back together. Lauren, how are you? Lauren: I am wonderful. How are you? Annie: I am golden. Coming in hot after a lost a microphone or lost headphone fiasco to laser tag guns, but I recovered them and I'm sweating now but I'm here. Lauren: That's what's important. Annie: Yes. Jen, how are you? Jen: I'm good and I'm so glad to be back because I had to miss our last recording day because of sound issues, which was super frustrating, but our sound girl, her and I worked it out and here I am. Annie: Yay. Three best friends. Anyway, we're back together. So, we, I just sang on the podcast, you guys. We are talking about alcohol- Lauren: Leveling up, leveling up. Annie: Leveling up and alcohol. Both. We're doing both today. We're talking about alcohol because alcohol comes up a fair amount in our community and how does it factor into one's lifestyle and can you have alcohol and still have weight loss goals? Can you have alcohol and still want to improve your health? How does alcohol affect your health? How does, and when I say health, I'm talking about mental, mental, physical, emotional. So we just wanted to, three of us have all had fair amount of experience with alcohol and how much we use at various points of time. And I think it's gonna make for a really great podcast today. You guys excited? Jen: Yeah. Lauren: Yeah. Annie: Awesome. So drinking a moderation can be fun. And I want to start this podcast episode with a little bit of a disclaimer that this podcast is not a substitute for professional help. If you suspect that you have, an abuse or alcohol addiction problem, that we would absolutely refer you out to a professional, whether that be a doctor, a therapist, a counselor, a group, whatever sort of treatment you feel that you need. We're talking about specifically light to moderate drinking and how to assess if maybe you need to change some of those behaviors to reach your goals. Right? Lauren: Yeah. Annie: Jen and Lauren, do you drink, do you drink at all, Lauren? Lauren: To be honest, lately I have not. I will have a couple of drinks on the weekend if we're going out or doing something. But during the week I don't. Annie: Jen, what about you? Jen: I rarely drink either. I used to drink more and I actually, which we can get into in the podcast, but last October I cut back significantly. And so now I just drink just socially probably. And I'm not very social, so. I don't have very many friends. So- Annie: Kinda introverted. Well I guess I'll, I'll take one for the team here. I drink a fair amount and then it ebbs and flows depending on what's going on in my life. But, it's not uncommon for me to have a glass or two of wine a couple times a week, just with dinner or after dinner or after work or whatever, a little happy hour. So, I guess I'll be the kind of the drinker of the three- Jen: Right. You'll be the heavy drinker. Lauren: I used to drink more before I had kids and like Jen said, when I had more of a social life. So, it kind of ebbs and flows too. Like in the summer I usually have more drinks than in the winter because we're out at barbecues and just doing things and out more than I am in the winter. Jen: Yeah, I would say it's, we're hopefully getting into spring here in Canada and in the summer I tend to drink a bit more than I do in the winter too. There's just something about, I dunno, a deck, sun shining, fire and when I'm with you two. Annie: I have no clue what you're talking about. Jen: Yeah. Annie: We do enjoy good, which we can talk about later. But we do enjoy good meals when we're together. And sometimes that's just like- Jen: We do. It's very nice. Annie: It's like a treat. It's a luxury. It feels like a luxury. Jen: Yeah. Totally. Annie: And I do just want to also clarify, according to at least the United States dietary guidelines advisory committee, moderate drinking for women is up to seven drinks a week with no more than three drinks on any single day. For men that's up to 14 drinks per week with no more than four drinks on any single night. Heavy drinking is eight or more drinks a week for women or 15 or more drinks for men. And then binge drinking is kind of its own separate category and that's the consumption of about two hour window of four or more drinks for women or five or more drinks for men. And Jen, when we were actually, I was sharing the podcast outline with them and Jen was asking about why do men and women have different guidelines? Annie: And she noted even women are the same size as men. Like me, which I am the, I am the same size as a lot of men in my life. And I actually had to do some research on this. And what I found out was it's men are generally larger and build in general, general quotes, not in my case, but that gives them more blood volume. They also generally have less body fat, but they also have, regardless of their weight, higher enzymes that help them break down alcohol and the concentration of water, I did not know this in the body of an average man is around 61% and a woman has considerably less water content and about 52%. So as a result, a man's body is just naturally equipped to dilute alcohol more efficiently than a woman's body regardless of weight. Lauren: That's really interesting. Annie: I know, I thought that too. Because like Jen, I'm like, "Well, I'm the same size. I can go drink for drink, right?" Like, no, I can't. I tried that in college many times. Didn't work out well for me. But also how you can metabolize and how alcohol affects you can also be affected by your age, your sex, as we talked about your race or ethnicity, your physical condition, the amount of food you consumed before drinking, how quickly the alcohol was consumed, the use of drugs or prescription medications and then family history of alcohol problems. So I just wanted to kind of like throw out some like baseline, like what's moderate drinking, what is heavy drinking? What factors go into play with how we metabolize alcohol. Just so we can have, level the playing field, so to speak. Does that make sense? Jen: Yeah. So, question, Annie, this information is from, where did you say this is? Annie: This is from, well it's from a variety of sources, but the drinking guidelines was from the United States Dietary Guidelines Advisory Committee, which actually now that you say that, I'd be curious to know if the guidelines vary from country to country because drinking as a culture is very different in European cities versus American cities. Jen: So versus like Russia or- Annie: Yeah, be curious to know. Jen: I think alcohol consumption is very cultural, which we might get into a bit later too. So I think a lot of people that I know would be surprised to read this and see that they are considered heavy drinkers based on these guidelines. I think they would feel like, "Wait a sec, I'm not a heavy drinker." Lauren: I am considered, according to these guidelines, a binge drinker, which is weird to say that just because like I don't, I'm not the type that will just have like one wine after dinner. Like I'm a social drinker, so like I'll go have a few and then I won't drink for the rest of the week. And I'm just finding that interesting to read. Annie: Well and the other thing that I think is important to note is serving size, you know, a serving size, what they're counting as a drink would be five, four to five ounces of wine, a 12 ounce beer, five ounce cocktail. I don't know about you, but when I pour a glass of wine, it isn't never five ounces. Jen: Right. Annie: It is always way more. So- Jen: I don't even know if that's standard in restaurants. Like, I don't know if a restaurant even ever pours five ounces. Lauren: It is they're supposed to- Annie: Right. Because when I go to a restaurant, I'm like, one of us is doing this wrong. I'm pouring a much bigger class than they are serving me at the steak restaurant down the street. Jen: So from my memory of going out and having wine is that you can order either a six or a nine ounce at restaurants. That's in, where I live. Lauren: Oh, we don't have that. Annie: No. Jen: Oh, you don't? Lauren: No, you can order, like, a tall or a short beer, but you, it's just one serving size of wine or like a drink. Jen: I, yeah, no, you can order size six or nine ounce, which is six ounce sounds like it's considered larger than your standard serving. But yeah, I kind of live in wine country, a wine region of Canada too. So maybe that's why they have that. Well, yeah, interesting. Annie: It is. And I mean to be full disclosure, there's nights where I'm like "my serving size is a bottle." Jen: Yeah. And I mean you have to, everybody has to understand, these are guidelines. They aren't, just like nutrition recommendations are also guidelines. It doesn't mean, you know, you want to roughly make sure you're in the range of the guidelines, but just because Lauren goes out once a month and has four drinks in two hours and sees that those align with binge drinking doesn't mean she is a binge drinker. Lauren: It doesn't, right. It doesn't make me unhealthy. You know what I mean? Like it's balance, you know? Jen: Yeah. You gotta, like, you gotta zoom out always and put everything in perspective. Annie: Well, and I think that hopefully what we'll get into in a little bit here is that we're going to pose some questions to help you determine if your alcohol consumption, your alcohol intake is serving you positively or if it's affecting you negatively. And then what you do with that information is for you to decide because, true to Balance365 form, we believe in body autonomy and that you get a right, the kind of the owner's manual and what works best for you is all that's really in our best interest. We're not here to tell you to cut out alcohol together, although that might be what you decide after listening to this podcast or evaluating your intake or to reduce it or, you know, I think there's, there is some, I don't want to say misinformation, but there's, there's plenty of articles that would say alcohol is good for you and they're a little bit gray. Annie: I don't think that the general guidelines from, you know, the source that I mentioned earlier, the United States Dietary Guidelines Advisory Committee noted that there might be some benefit, but that they wouldn't encourage anyone to start drinking because of it. So, this is really just like a more tools in your toolbox to help you evaluate again as this serving you. Is this moving you where you want to be? Are you comfortable with this? Is this problematic for you or is this adding to your life in a way that you're enjoying it and you're comfortable with? So, reasons that you might want to reconsider your intake though. We have a couple here and the first one is that you're stressed. And I think we see this a lot. People are stressed out. They're feeling anxious, they're feeling the overwhelm and they pour a glass of wine and it's almost habitual. Lauren: It's become, like, in the mommy circles, right? It's become a thing. Like I need wine. Jen: It's actually called, it's called mommy wine culture. Lauren: Yes, thank you, I couldn't remember the name. Jen: Yeah. And we've, there's a lot of people have been talking about this in the last year about how alcohol companies or even marketing to moms now in as far as "Here's a way to manage your stress, here's some wine, have some, it's okay." So I have mixed feelings about it. I think it is a slippery slope and based on personal experience, I mentioned earlier that I really peeled back on drinking last October and I was going through a very stressful time. We had moved in August and I had basically done that move by myself with kids and, you know, new city, just everything was new and I was struggling with some anxiety and my consumption just went way up. And then I, here's some, here's some, here's some honesty for you. Jen: I met you guys in October, remember we met in Detroit and we went out to that concert and I got, like, wasted like just like 19 year old university frat house drunk. And I was, I don't know where it came from, but I was mortified the next morning, like, "Whoa, that was too far!" And, when I got back from that trip, I just really tried to have an honest talk with myself about my consumption going up and up and up and I just was so stressed out that it had become toxic for me. Like it really was a way for me to manage my stress and anxiety and that's a slippery slope. So, and people do this all the time with lots of different things, right? Like, whether they, sometimes with food we talk about that quite a bit. Jen: And so yeah, I just had an honest talk with myself and I set some boundaries for myself, which is when I, at that point I said, you know what, unless I am socializing, then I don't need to be just drinking wine on a Wednesday night. And, I'm just going to keep it to two drinks. Um, even when I'm socializing for now. That was sort of the guideline I set for myself and now a year and a half has gone by and I feel really good. I feel in control of my consumptions but I don't have that stress and anxiety anymore so it doesn't feel compulsive to me. But yeah, it was just a really good choice for me. It was a really, really good choice. Annie: And you know, it might be a really great opportunity if you find yourself drinking because you're stressed to explore, expand your toolbox, so to speak, of other ways you can manage your stress. And that might mean taking a shower, going for a walk, meditating, reading, knitting. Jen: Or going to therapy. So I used that experienced and reflection and to go, you know what? I need to start going to see a therapist and I'd been thinking about it for a long time and just not executing, not executing. And then I use that as sort of a turning point for me. So then I started therapy and you know what I've done in the last 18 months, I cry significantly more. I think, it's because it is great and I just find like I'm, you know, I just went through, I just, I'm a crier and I process my emotions when I'm crying and it's not a negative experience for me. It's really positive for me to cry. So I've noticed since I pulled back on drinking and started going to therapy, I've just learned that how to process my emotions in a more healthy way. And it's been really great. Lauren: I find crying is a stress reliever for me too, for sure. Like when I'm stressed, like I will just have like a mini breakdown by myself in my roommate and I'm like, "Whoa. Alright." Jen: Yeah. Like that was just so great. Lauren: Everything's okay. Annie: Yeah. I agree. Maybe, I just, I attribute it to therapy as well, but feeling your feelings is quite nice, sometimes even the ugly feelings, even the really uncomfortable feelings. Um, okay. So another reason that you might be drinking, and that you might want to reconsider your drinking is because it's, you're doing it out of habit, which I think I've told this story many times, but I got into a habit of drinking shortly after Blair was born because she was probably eight weeks old or so and really fussy and hard to get to sleep. So I would like spend all this energy and time and mental effort getting this baby to sleep. And the minute she would like go to bed, I would come down and I would just pour a glass of wine and sit in the kitchen and talk with my husband. Annie: And I realized pretty quickly that there was, there was a habit which we've talked about in our Habits 101 podcast and How to Change a Bad Habit that there's a habit loop there. And in that habit loop is the reminder, the routine, the reward, the three Rs. And the reminder for me to drink to have a glass of wine was putting Blair to sleep. It was like super stressful. I was tired. It was just like, "Oh my God, I just, I can't do anything more right now. I just need this glass of wine." The routine was drinking the glass of the wine and the reward was, is that it kind of felt like it took the edge off. I got to spend some QT with my husband in the kitchen. It was kind of our own little happy hour and once I realized that there was this loop replaying almost nightly, that I could replace the behavior. Annie: The best way to change a bad habit or an unfavorable habit or a habit that you want to decrease is to replace the routine with something that elicits the same reward. So for me, instead of drinking glass of wine, it was immediately going and taking a shower or going and taking a walk and then coming back and having a Lacroix or a Diet Coke and still sitting in the kitchen with my husband, still having some QT, our own little happy hour. I just replaced the routine with something else that still took the edge off, still gave me a little breather, still take, like, some downtime. Still felt like that reward that I was getting from the wine, but served my goals a little bit better because ultimately I don't want to be, I don't want to drink every night and in order to get the same kind of take the edge off feeling I was having to drink more and more and more. Annie: So what started out as one glass of wine was quickly becoming three glasses of wine, like, over the course of a couple months. And before you know it, I was like quasi tipsy, putting my other kids to bed and I was like, this isn't something I want to do every single night. Like that's not for me. It was affecting my sleep and I could go on and on about the ways that it was affecting my life negatively. But that was one way that I addressed the habit loop. Just swap in the routine was something that elicits the same reward. Lauren: Yeah. Jen: Sorry, go ahead, Lauren. Lauren: I think that kind of what you described happens really frequently. So like we were talking about the stress, right? That was part of your story, right, was stress? And then you had the drink to like take the edge off or whatever. But then what happened is that became a habit. And I think that happens really frequently. And so I love that story too. And I tell it all the time too. Annie: Remember when you were drinking all the time? Jen: I think that people, so if you haven't listened to our Habits 101 podcast, you people don't understand how strong habits are, right? They think they just have horrible willpower and I, they just can't make good choices, et cetera, et cetera. But, habits are just like, they're like primal. They're deep in our brain and they're basically, they're practically a survival mechanism, aren't they? Jen: Because they allow us to do things without wasting time and energy on them, right? So when you form habits, it's really important to identify those three hours. Like, and he said in this can apply to anything, right? So for Annie, her, she was putting her kids to bed and then her brain would like light up and go time for a drink. But sometimes that is time for a chocolate bar or time for some TV. Like it just, and you just, you go through the motions of life because are we just, our brain has so many habits running on repeat and in order to change them, you have to identify them and identify what your reminder is, what your routine is, what the reward is, and then try and transition to a different habit that you'd like to replace it with as Annie did. Jen: But yeah, so it's not nothing to do with you personally, you know, and your willpower. It's important to acknowledge. I think that this is like, you know, I used to close my kid's door, but them to bed close the door. I'd be walking down the hall and I would start salivating. Like it was like my brain was just like "snack time." Like I wouldn't be hungry, but it just was a deep routine for me to snack at night and so I would just go straight to the kitchen and get some food. Lauren: So very timely. Last night I watched The Office episode where Jim does that with the Altoid with white with the noise in his computer Annie: Like Pavlov's dog. Lauren: Yup. Annie: Same thing, same, same. The other kind of element that also some plays into why you might be drinking and also habits is environment plays a strong strong element and a strong role into drinking. And when I say environment, it could be like your physical location. It could be the people you're spending time with. It could be the time of year, it could be like a restaurant, like where you always, it triggers these same sorts of behaviors. For me in the particular case of putting Blair to bed, part of the environment was that we just always had wine on hand and in fact, we would buy boxed wine because we thought that that was like an easier way to serve us wine and save money in the long run. We'd get more use out of it. We wouldn't let it go bad. What ended up happening was it was just like wine on tap all this time and that element of our environment made it just a little too easy to pour wine all the time or a half a glass of wine and then another half a glass of wine. Annie: So a simple swap was we just started buying bottles of wine and a bottle of wine for my husband and I is about two glasses each when it's gone, it's gone and trained. Traci Mann actually talked about this in our podcast with her about the small obstacle, like make something, put it in a position, make a small obstacle to whatever you're trying to do. So it's a little bit difficult or a little bit more difficult than it would be otherwise. In my case, the wine was just too accessible. So making it less accessible made the habit harder to implement. Lauren: Yeah. I think a key when you're thinking about environment in the habit context is to think about, if you are trying to change a habit that you don't want to be doing, just make it a little bit harder to engage in that behavior. And if you are trying to create a new, healthier habit, you want to make it as easy as possible to engage in that behavior. Jen: So I keep, I don't actually keep wiring in the house as much anymore and, but when I do have one in the house, I have it in a high cupboard. Same as I keep our treats in a high cupboard, but I have my tea in a low eye level cupboard. And because the habit I want to have is when I'm feeling like something in the evening, I just make myself some te, and so yeah, I just keep the tea really accessible right there. Yeah. So the other thing I wanted to mention around environment is just sort of on a grander scale is Canada used to not have alcohol in, like, grocery stores and places. It was really only accessible. You'd have to go to a liquor store, like a special store that only served alcohol. And when I moved to New Zealand in 2010, New Zealand has alcohol in their grocery stores. Jen: And I walked, I remember into a grocery store and seeing an aisle of wine and being like, "What?" and just from there, it was just so easy to buy. And then they have like their bargain bin wine that was like $6 a bottle. And so that's another time in my life. I remember when my consumption increased because it was just so accessible to me. Suddenly it wasn't like you have to make a special trip to a special store to get alcohol. Anyways, things have changed in Canada and it's now, now you can get alcohol in many grocery stores, which I know isn't kind of new for us. I know it's not new for you guys. I think when I go to you, you can get it in the gas station, it's just like, you know. And so it's just recognizing that, and we talked about this with Traci Mann, I think it was Traci Mann. Yeah, we talked about this with Dr Mann as well around treats, right? Like you can go to staples or an office depot and there's chocolate bars at the checkout. They're like, you start noticing that all of these foods that people actually struggle with moderating, they're sort of, they're in our environment everywhere, right? Like you don't go to Office Depot and have apples and oranges at the checkout, right? You have, you know, these processed foods. I don't want to demonize any foods, so I don't want anyone to thinking that's what I'm doing. But you know, it's chocolate bars and bags of chips and you know, things that keep for a long time. But so alcohol is kind of the same thing. I think if you are struggling with your alcohol intake, it's just something to take note of. Jen: Like, "Oh, like it's at the gas stations. It's at the grocery stores? It's for-" Yesterday when I was, we were messaging about this, the three of us, but my kids were at their ski and snowboard lessons yesterday. So we were up on the mountain and I sat down to do some work at the lodge and there's a bar right there. And I was like, "Oh, I should get a glass of wine while I'm working." But it was just that. Then I actually just did that pause as we discussed in the Traci Mann episode. And it was like, "No, you know what, I'm good with the coffee." But I just noticed that all around me there's people coming in from skiing and they're sitting there having a beer and yeah, it was just there and I realized, you know, it was just, it was just, it was just there. Right. And I was going to have some just cause it was there and I just took that second to pause and I was like, "Nah. Yeah." Annie: That's was exactly my experience with wine in the home. I mean, and you're right, you can get wine in the gas station, at least in Iowa. I think it's different from state to state, who can sell alcohol where and at what times, but- Lauren: You can get alcohol everywhere in Michigan all the time. Jen: The other thing that just floored me was when we moved to Australia, you could, like, get in the movie theaters, I was like "What?" And then it's this novelty, right? You just, you want to get it. But now in Canada it is also available in, things sure have changed in the last decade here in Canada. But you can also get it at movie theaters in Canada now too. Lauren: I remember a few years ago, it was all like a big thing that you can now buy beer at the zoo. Jen: Oh Wow. That's crazy. So I don't know if this is good or bad, right? Like we all have to be responsible. You know, there's the personal responsibility piece, but then there's also the environment piece. And we know that, we know through, you know, there's tons of research done when you remove things from people's environments. So they've done things, you know, they've done studies in hospitals, they've done studies in big sports arenas and they've manipulated the food and the drinks that are being offered. And it significantly changes what people choose. Right? So even at a sport, I think there was a study on a sports arena where they didn't remove the soda machines, but they cut back on how many soda machines there were and they increased the water machines and suddenly consumption shifted to people drinking more water than soda. And so, I don't know if it was a terrible thing in Canada that you had to go to a liquor store to buy liquor. I don't think it was a terrible thing, but anyways, times are a-changin. Annie: In addition to like your physical location, another element of environment, which I think I kind of mentioned beforehand, was, it can be people and it can be totally, it could be it could even be like situations like you're at your family's Christmas or your office work party and it may be like, you know, that one office work party a year. Like, you need a gin and tonic, or you need a glass of wine or whatever to make it through with whatever gusto you need. Jen: Yeah. Annie: And it could be people, you know, I have girlfriends that I don't drink with ever. And then I have girlfriends that we seem to, every time we seem to get together, we always have a glass of wine or whatever. Jen: Yeah. We had a Balanced 365er talk about that recently. She was talking about how that's what her friends do. They get together and drink on the weekends. So for her to try to cut back on her alcohol consumption was very, very, very hard. Just, you know, the peer pressure I guess around it. And also like, that's what they do. So- Annie: Yeah. Yeah. And, and you know, again, it's not necessarily that you have to do anything with it, but just creating some awareness like, "hey, this is our pattern. Every time we get together we do x, Y, Z, or every time I'm with this person, you know." And the same could be said for desserts. You know, like every time I go out to dinner with Heather, we always get a dessert or you know, for example or whatever. It's just creating awareness of how your environment affects your habit is really awesome. Jen: And there's nothing wrong with any of it. It's more about the frequency, right? If you go out to eat every single day with Heather for lunch and you guys are sharing cake every single day for lunch, well then that might be something you examine. If you and Heather go out once a month for lunch. Are we talking about Heather Osby? Different Heather? Lauren: Hi, Heather! Annie: Actually, I actually don't, we do go out for lunch, but Heather just came to mind. But yes. Heather and I don't, I don't think we share a dessert though. I don't actually. Jen: Anyways. Anyways, Heather's a fitness professional that is a good friend of Annie's in Iowa. Anyways, yeah. So it's more about the frequency. Like how often do you do this? Annie: Are you comfortable with the frequency? If you are, great, if not, then maybe it's time to make some changes. Speaking of making some changes, I do want to, kind of move on. So if you're considering making some changes, you heard all of this and you're like, "Huh, yeah, maybe I should kind of examine my consumption." We would encourage you to gather some information on the situation before you make decisions. And step one can simply be like, take note of how much you're drinking. And as I mentioned, portion size is key here because a serving size of wine is four to five ounces. And in my house that's, like, not happening. So to really be honest about like "how much am I really drinking?" can be your step one. And that could just be like a food journal. It could be like a note in your phone, it could be a tally mark on your cover, I mean, whatever that looks like for you. Annie: You don't have to track calories, you don't have to track macros, you don't have to do anything with that. You could just, just take note of the quantity. And then step two would be to review the data. And this is where I think a lot of women get tripped up is they, we would encourage women to look at the data as just like, "This is just information. This is just data." It doesn't mean that you're a good person or a bad person or that you are a failure or that you did really well or that you did anything bad. It's just like, like, "Let's just look at it as objectively as possible." And some questions to ask yourself when you're reviewing the data, "Am I drinking more or less than I thought? Are there patterns that we discussed earlier to your drinking? The people, the places, the days of the week?" Annie: This is really key. Is it bringing "unwanted friends" to the party? Which that could mean binge eating, emotional drama. Like, are you fighting with friends or your spouse or are you short tempered with your kids? Are you enjoying, you know, an extra dinner after you started drinking when you're aren't hungry to begin with because as I've experienced many times, alcohol actually does suppress leptin, which is the hormone that tells your brain when you're full and it negatively affects other brain chemicals that are involved in appetite suppression. So, it's easy to see why like, "Yeah, pizza sounds great!" At 2:00 AM after a couple drinks, college Annie knows that very well, but it really is harder to read hunger and fullness cues after a few drinks. Jen: We also don't, you know, we typically pair alcohol with higher calorie foods. It's not like, you know, it's not like you go to a party and everyone's having wine and there's veggie tray and salads on display. Like it's usually chips and candy or you know, dips and bread and that kind of thing. And so a Balance365er did recently share this as well. She was talking about how it's not actually the alcohol for her that she thinks she's over consuming. It's that she has a couple of drinks and then she eats, she just mindlessly is eating at the snack table and pretty soon she's gone through like a party size bag of Doritos. Right. And so that's sort of where it can affect your over consumption or if you have weight loss goals or that- Annie: It can just lower inhibitions. But, I mean, really, as I noted it does make, alcohol makes it harder to read hunger and fullness cues. Jen: Right. Yeah. Lauren: For me, it also went beyond that, right, for like the next day, cause I would be tired and crabby and craving more, like, high fat comfort foods. Jen: Right. So then you want, you get up and you're like, "Oh, Mcdonald's- Lauren: McDonald's breakfast. Jen: Yeah. Annie: What is it about fast food the next day? That Lauren: It's so good. Annie: Makes you feel better. Lauren: I don't know. Annie: Is that just habit? I wonder if there's science behind that. Like a higher fat, higher calorie meal. Jen: I actually don't crave fast food when I'm hungover, I crave like Booster Juice, like a smoothie, something like- Annie: Oh, no way. Lauren: That would never happen. Jen: For me, that's like, hydrate. I'm just drawn to it. Lauren: Genetics, like some genetic cause, like, that's honestly what you crave, right? And I honestly would never have that the next day. Annie: I am honestly disgusted by your hangovers. Jen: Who are you? Annie: So yeah. We get, let's circle back to that in just a little bit, but when you're reviewing the data, additional consideration would be how is it affecting you physically? Is it affecting your sleep? Is it affecting your workouts? Do you generally feel good before and after you drink? Do you feel in control of your drinking? If you had to give it up for a week, how would you feel? Would you feel panicked? Would you feel calm, cool, collected about it? And then are you in choice of your drinking or is it your friends and your family controlling how much and how when, and I mean, ultimately, we want to be the ones that are in control of how much we're drinking, that we want to feel like we're in choice. We're not pressured, we don't feel obligated. We don't feel compelled to participate in consuming alcohol if that's ultimately what we don't want. So alcohol and weight loss, like can they go hand in hand? And Lauren, do you want to, do you have any thoughts right off the bat or do you want me to jump right into it? Lauren: You can jump right in. I think what I was going to say is, probably you're going to get into it. Annie: Yeah, because It ultimately boils down to calories, calories in, calories out. And a lot of times people might find their calorie intake increases with additional caloric drinks like alcohol, especially if you're mixing them with like Daiquiris and you know, like high calorie mixers. Jen: Like it would be nothing for a Pina Colada to be like a 400 to 500 calorie drink. Annie: Right? Jen: And like a standard glass of wine I think is about 200 calories. And so, and caloric drinks don't improve or are, you know, they're not, they're not satisfying as we touched on. And so that's why it's easy to over consume them. Annie: Right. And alcohol does have calories. It has about seven calories per gram of alcohol. So, but usually like Jen said, we're mixing them with other elements that can increase the calories. So it's not that you can't lose weight and have alcohol as part of your diet, it's more how does that intake affect your overall caloric intake over the day, over the week, over the month? And additionally, I do want to share that when alcohol is broken down, that it will burn out, your body will burn alcohol before any other calories consumed are stored, including fat or sugar. So even if you drink and consume more calories, if you drink and consume more calories than you need, you're more likely to store the fat from the wings, you ate or sugars from the monster cookies you ate because your body is getting all the energy from the alcohol. Annie: And additionally, it's possible the alcohol temporarily inhibits lipid oxidation. So in other words, when alcohol is in your system, it's harder for your body to burn the fat that's already there. So again, with all that said, it's really an issue of calories. And looking at the chain of events, which we kind of touched on, that happens once alcohol is consumed. So if you're having two or three glasses of wine a night and then you indulge in late night snacking, you sleep poorly, then you skip your am workout cause you're tired, you feel crummy because you skipped your workout and you slept like crap. So now you're opting for higher fat, higher carb foods, and then it just sets off this chain of events that affects your entire day. So it's not just like that two or three hour window where you're consuming alcohol. It's, like, now a 24-48 hour thing. Right. Jen: RIght. I don't have, and I don't have, for me, I don't have the luxury of time anymore. Like when I was younger to recover from being hungover. Annie: Where you could sleep. Jen: Yeah. Where I could lay on the couch all day. I just don't have that luxury anymore. So for me, you know, when it comes to any choices we make nutritionally or drinking alcohol or workouts, it really comes down to what is negotiable for you and what is non negotiable, right. And so I knew I wouldn't quit drinking. That wasn't, I wasn't going to just crank the wheel and quit drinking. But I, you know, when I was really honest with myself, I knew that that a lot of my alcohol consumption was actually negotiable for me. It's non negotiable for me to, you know, get together with you two and have a glass of wine. That's just something I really enjoy and I'm not going to do something crazy like cut that out. Jen: So yeah, but my, you know, my Wednesday night making separate glass of wine, that was negotiable for me. And the more, the other thing too is that, you know, there's no bad foods but you, what we talk about people is, you know, there's kind of foods you want to have more of and then there's foods you maybe want to have less of. And that's simply because if you say you need 2000 calories per day, the more you know, whether it's chips and chocolates and alcohol that you have in a day, it crowds out those other foods that you actually want to have more of like fruits and vegetables and whole grains and lean proteins, like the things that actually support your health and feeling good. Right? And so it's sort of like making sure your ratios are right when it comes to moderation. Annie: Right. And that goes back to the question I posed earlier. When you're reviewing the data, like okay, over the last seven days I had x amount of drinks. Did you generally feel good? Were you able to do the things that you still wanted to do? Or like we said, are you sleeping poorly? Is it affecting your sleep quality? Is it affecting your mood, is affecting your stress levels? Is it, you know, are you able to get your workouts in like you had planned, are you keeping up with all the other things that you want to do? Like it's just trade offs. It's, you know, you're saying yes to this couple glasses of wine tonight, are you saying no to anything else or vice versa? And are you okay with that? Jen: Yeah. The other thing to note as far as weight loss, there was a Balance365er who, she really, she had been in Balance365 for several months and she really did not feel her alcohol or, or her weekend intake was a problem. Her, I should say her weekend, caloric intake, her overall, but I feel like the three of us just really kind of knew, like, when she was, she joined Balance365, this particular Balance365er had fat loss goals and you know, we troubleshoot in the group, here's what she's doing, here's her habits, here's what her week looks like, here's what her weekends look like. And I feel like we knew it was her weekends, but we just, you know, we can't really tell somebody, you can sort of guide them to making their own decisions. But she went through a season of her life that was very, very busy. She's a student, she had to cut back on drinking significantly and she went down two pants sizes, like, immediately. And even though prior to she had been, she didn't think her weekends were a problem. However, she also hadn't been willing to, like, track her alcohol intake or her food consumption on the weekends. She, I think she was just, there was a blind spot that she wasn't willing to look at it and she just wasn't willing to do, which is fine. Everybody has to go at their own pace. But that was such a wake up call for her to how high her calories were on the weekends. And again, it wasn't, she's, I'm talking about the same person I had mentioned earlier, so it actually wasn't about necessarily about the drinking was that she was eating so much on those nights when she was meeting up with friends and drinking. Jen: So anyway, so it was a huge wake up call for her to actually how much she was consuming. And so she decided, you know, again, for her, the process of going through what's negotiable, what's not negotiable. "Can I pull back on drinking a little bit? Can I bring the veggie tray to the party instead of the chips? Like, can I use Diet Coke as my mixer instead of regular coke?" Cause you know, there's like an all or something in there too for people if they want to, you know, they don't want to quit drinking. They don't have to, there's lots of changes we can make inside of that behavior to just pull back a bit. Annie: And it's not in our manifest or ethos to say "Just stop drinking." Like, yeah. I mean the three of us have tried to cut out a variety of things and white knuckled it for a while, but ultimately like, I want to live a life in a body where if I want a glass of wine, I can have a glass of wine and it's my choice and I can enjoy that in moderation and feel no guilt or shame, knowing it's not going to derail me from anything that I'm trying to do ultimately. You know, like that I just, that I have the tools in the toolbox to decide how much quantity and frequency alcohol gets to play in my life or how little it gets to play my life. Jen: Yeah, totally. And everybody's situation might look a little different. I cut back on alcohol and that was totally fine for me. But you know, there's, you know, I know what wine I like and I'm a quality over quantity kind of person. So I would rather have, you know, the wine that I know I enjoy than like there's these other wines on the market that get more, advertised like skinny wine or whatever it's called. I can't remember what the brand is called but they have a low calorie wine. But it is gross. No, like I'll just pass. Right. So for me I'm like that's a non negotiable for me. But everybody's negotiables and non-negotiables are going to be different and you just have to find out what yours is. Annie: And so that's why it doesn't make any sense for us to say, "Here are the rules. Do this, this way." Jen: Right. Annie: I mean, it's very person specific and as you can see that among the three of us, Jen doesn't drink at all during the week. And it's not uncommon for me to have a glass or two on Tuesdays and Thursdays when I'm not working in the evenings. And in fact, that's when I do my best Instagram writing. Lauren: And Lauren will have six once a month- Annie: And we're all healthy in our own right. Lauren: Right. Annie: Alright, well, anything to add on our alcohol podcast? Jen: I don't think so. Annie: Alright, this was good fun. This is fun. Next time we record something on alcohol, maybe we should do it in the evening though and we could, like, share a glass of wine. I mean, not share it. Lauren: I was thinking that when we first started the podcast and I'm like, "Well, it's like 11 o'clock." Annie: Yeah. But you know, if we were in Switzerland, I feel like that would be totally kosher, so you know, to each their own. Alright, thanks ladies. Good talk. Jen: Bye. Lauren: Bye. Annie: This episode is brought to you by the Balance365 program. If you're ready to say goodbye to quick fixes and false promises and yes to building healthy habits and a life you're 100% in love with, then checkout Balanced365.co to learn more.…
1 Episode 63: How To Raise Body Positive Kids In A Media Obsessed World 1:04:21
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1:04:21Jen, Annie and Lauren are joined by Renae Regehr of Free To Be Talks to discuss how to support our middle school kids in developing media literacy and better body image. Teaching kids to navigate social media and the messages about their bodies is so important. Learn what to say when you don’t know what to say and enjoy this stimulating conversation. What you’ll hear in this episode: How Free To Be Talks was born Which age groups responded best to the curriculum Embodied media literacy: what does it mean? Head knowledge vs lived experiences The blind spots we have about the impact of media messaging Helping our kids cultivate self-compassion Do you really need to have all the answers as a parent? Being vulnerable with our kids in an age appropriate way Role modelling for our kids Appearance-based compliments and the need to balance them Being mindful of the language we use to describe our children’s bodies Body acceptance: accepting our own bodies and those of our kids The subtext of unattainable beauty ideals Equipping our kids to separate their value as people from their social media metrics Finding validation from within Being mindful of how much of our identity is rooted in our appearance Healing body image issues in context, with the help of others Body diversity on social media, feeling seen and represented Maintaining perspective about the importance of our appearances Being judicious about how much mental energy we devote to our appearance Resources: Free To Be Talks Hillary McBride podcast mothers daughters body image Sisters podcast Learn more about Balance365 Life here Subscribe on Apple Podcasts , Spotify , Google Play , or Android so you never miss a new episode! Visit us on Facebook | Follow us on Instagram | Check us out on Pinterest Join our free Facebook group with over 40k women just like you! Did you enjoy the podcast? Leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or Google Play ! It helps us get in front of new listeners so we can keep making great content. Discount code: Free2bbalanced Transcript Annie: Welcome to Balance365 Life radio, a podcast that delivers honest conversations about food, fitness, weight, and wellness. I'm your host Annie Brees along with Jennifer Campbell and Lauren Koski. We are personal trainers, nutritionists and founders of Balance365. Together we coach thousands of women each day and are on a mission to help them feel healthy, happy, and confident in their bodies on their own terms. Join us here every week as we discuss hot topics pertaining to our physical, mental, and emotional wellbeing with amazing guests. Enjoy. Annie: Welcome to Balance365 Life radio. This is your host Annie Brees and today we are talking about middle schoolers and media. Media is reaching our youth younger and younger by the day. In fact, the average kid spends eight hours a day consuming media and it's one of the primary reasons as to why 40% of six to 12 year olds don't like who they are because of how they look. Negative body image, depression, anxiety, and eating disorders are on the rise, but thankfully women like Renae Regehr are taking action against that. Renae founded Free To Be Talks, a nonprofit organization that promotes positive body image which gives tools to youth, parents and educators to help them filter through media and develop their individual strengths. Through her MA of Counseling Psychology, Renae developed and tested a research based curriculum inside Free To Be and to date over 2,500 boys and girls have gone through the program. Renae is a registered clinical counselor and also contributing blogger for the Huffington Post and her work has been featured in Time, Darling, Good Men Project, Everyday Feminism and many more. On today's episode, Renae, Jen and I discuss three important points in helping middle school age children develop positive body image and if you listen to the very end, Renae shares a really special gift and opportunity with our listeners. I know you're going to love this episode. Enjoy Annie: Ladies, we have a full house today. Again, we have a special guest. Renee, welcome. How are you? Renae: I'm good. Thank you so much for having me. Annie: I am so excited to have you here because Jen has just raved about everything that you're doing. Can you tell, how did you and Jen meet? Renae: We met, I believe, through mutual connections. Jen: Yeah. Through Hillary Mcbride who we've had on our podcast twice. And Hillary, I expressed to Hillary that I, you know, I do all this work and we have this worldwide audience, but I still feel my ultimate vision for my life is that I'm actually making an impact in my community where my children are growing up. And she said, "You have to meet Renae. She runs a nonprofit called Free To Be Talks. So I started following you on Instagram and then as soon, the next time you offered a training, I signed up. Renae: Yes. And there's been some changes since then and I can't wait to talk about them. Annie: Renae, you are a registered clinical counselor. How did you get into this Free To Be Talks, like, how did that come about? Renae: Oh, I feel like it's been like my life work, really. But when I was going through my master's, I developed a curriculum for a group class that I was running. And at the time I had a friend that was in the school system in my hometown and she said, you know, I want to run this program. And I said, "Okay, well I've developed this rudimentary curriculum, why don't we run this body image program together?" And so these grades six and seven girls volunteered on their lunch hour to be a part of this group. And it was so eye opening because not only did the same struggles that I had gone through when I was a teen, those things were coming up again for the girls but I would say there even more pressures that the girls were facing with the rise of social media and just different factors that were impacting them. Renae: And so I went to my research supervisor at the time and I said, "This is what I'm doing. I'm running the program. Can I create this for my master's thesis?" And he said, "Well, if there's a problem in the literature, then yeah, go for it." So I said, "Okay, challenge accepted. And I dove deep into the research literature and I wanted to know, like, what had been done, what still needed to be done, what was helpful, what wasn't maybe so helpful. And then from there I emerged and with this new vision of okay, this is what's been helpful, this is what we need to do. And really from that, a couple of things. One was that we needed to move more from a pathology perspective. So not just focusing on what are problems with body image, but what do we do now that we know what these problems are like, what the "So what?" to this problem here? Renae: Where do we go from? And really utilizing them like a strengths perspective so we can deconstruct something but then we need to be able to build it back up again. And then the second thing with that is we need to include boys in this conversation and although boys have been included in this conversation, more so in the last five to 10 years, I would say, historically and previously body image has primarily been thought of as a girls issue. And so from that I approached my supervisor and I said, "Hey, this is what I found. There is definitely a need in healthy body image programs. And so I started to create Free To Be, and I actually ran with grade tens as my first group and did the analyses with them. And although the research showed that it was effective, just my clinical intuition and when I was running the program, it felt like I was doing a lot more intervention with the kids. Renae: And even though they were receptive and you know, we had good conversations, we then ran it with grade six and sevens. And that was really where we hit the sweet spot because these issues were becoming so relevant to them. Their bodies were starting to change, their bodies were on their mind a lot more and they were really engaging with the material. And so from there it started to just take off and I realized, you know, I can't just keep this to myself. And that always had been my vision that I wanted to expand it beyond me. Years ago I actually had a blog and it was called Bigger Than My Voice because I wanted it to be bigger than me. And so from there after, as I was developing free to be, I realized I can make this bigger than me and I've had so many incredible women come around that have either identified with my story or have had kids that have impacted or they've had body image struggles when they were younger and they wanted to take it, run with it and teach the curriculum around North America now. So it's kind of like the short version of everything. Annie: I love it because- Jen: I had my own goosebump moment. It's amazing. Like I would say grade six is when I started becoming aware of my body. Like everything happened a lot for me in grade six. It was like all of a sudden boys became very, like, a thing in my life and my body started changing and a lot of, and even other girls, their bodies were changing at a more rapid rate than mine. And I was like, "What's wrong with my body?" And you just, yeah, it's grade six was, yeah, a big year for me, personally. Renae: Yeah. Grade six, grade six, grade seven. And because girls, you know, we develop earlier than boys, you know, there's a wide range of like when we're developing and our bodies are just so much more on our minds then. And so it makes sense that to be able to be armed with tools about, you know, what's going on around us, how is this impacting us? Could be, is so helpful to be like, "I'm not weird. I'm normal, this is normal. This is normal. What we're all going through." Jen: Yeah, absolutely. The other thing, Renae, is why I was so excited to find you is because we work with women and I like, I love working with them. I'm sure many of them are listening. I love working with them, but sometimes I start to feel like, "Oh," like I just, I feel like we're on the reactive side of, you know, building communities and treating, you know, this issue where I want it to be on the preventative. And I also wanted to be involved on the preventative side because I don't want to keep raising generations of women that just need treatment, right. Lauren: Yeah. And I'll add to that too, like, because we work with women, we have them coming to us say, "Okay, how can I prevent this for my child? What can I do to be that preventative role model for them?" Renae: And there's so much that parents can do. That is something that I've, that I always, when I went on, whenever we run the Free To Be program, there is a pamphlet that we hand out in the beginning and we always stress to teachers, to parents, to whoever's running the program, hand these out because these conversations that we are starting at school are so much more impactful if they can be continued at home and deepened at home and expanded at home because that's where so much learning occurs. Annie: Absolutely. And something that I think we hear often in our community too is that women want to have these conversations or parents are obviously, we work pretty exclusively with women. They want to have these conversations with their girlfriends, with their kids, but they're so worried about if they're saying the right thing or not that they just don't say anything at all. Like, you know, "Okay, my daughter comes home and is asking about calories or someone called her fat or you know, she's being bullied or she's being picked on or she wants to lose weight or she wants to get a fitbit. I mean it's just these daily conversations that they're almost like, I'm so worried I'm going to say the wrong thing and they're gonna like permanently feel that type of way forever and ever. So it's really great to have you on here because I actually, I said, "Can you just give us the main talking points and kind of do's and don'ts about how we can help promote positive body image for middle schoolers?" Which is like your jam, right? Renae: Oh yeah. Oh yeah. And even when you sent me that request in that talk, I was like, well, you know, we could just talk about it and where it goes because we literally could talk about this for hours and hours and hours. Annie: Absolutely. Renae: But that can just be overwhelming. So- Annie: Yes. So you came back with three, which I appreciate. These are the three, like the, really, I'm guessing kind of the big rocks that you feel are really important. If you want a place to start, these would be three good areas to spend some effort or give some attention to, yeah? Renae: Yes. And even the way I structured those three, they are, we could talk about them in depth for a lot, a long time. And so do you want to go through them one by one? Or do you want me to sort of list them off? Annie: Yeah, well here, the first one that you listed off was develop embodied media literacy. Not just head knowledge, but experiences that help them know and experienced their bodies as good and powerful. Can you tell me what that means? Renae: Okay. This has become a big one for me recently because I cannot tell you enough. I go do these talks. I do these presentations in addition to running Free To Be, and I will talk to kids or I'll talk to teenagers and they're so smart. They are very smart, they're savvy, they know what's going on. And so we'll talk about Photoshop, we'll talk about appearance pressures, we'll talk about things that are impacting about social media, how it can be used as a tool for good or as a tool that can, you know, be a portal into isolation or anxiety or this comparison trap that you get stuck in and they can be so articulate and their responses and yet then they'll tell me, "Yeah, this can really impact some people, but it doesn't impact me." Renae: And that's just not how our brains work. What we are exposed to is going to impact us. Like, my brain isn't locked in some special fortress where I'm not impacted by the messages and ideas around me. And, so they can be critical of these messages or ideas and and yet they embody them at the same time. It was, I was struck so much by this realization a couple of months ago when I was chatting with a particular group of girls and this girl was telling me about all of these things, and here she was with fake eyelashes and embodying all the appearance ideals and on her phone on Instagram scrolling through things. And it's not that wanting to invest in your appearance or following beauty trends is bad or wrong or anything like that. It's the fact that there's this disconnect that we think that things impact other people but not us. Jen: 100% we see this all the time. I know exactly what you, they like, they know but they can't embody. There is just a total and I have been there so I get it like it's- Renae: Yes and I get it because there's so many factors that are involved in creating our body image that go into our body image. And so I really started to stress this embodied media literacy because it's not just head knowledge. We can have head knowledge until we are blue in the face with, like, understanding something. But if we don't experience our bodies as good, as agents of power, as a place to connect with others, as something that is powerful, then a lot of the message is lost because our minds and our bodies are so connected and we need to be able to experience our bodies as good. Renae: And so in presentations I never just talk and so much of Free to Be isn't just talking. It's experiencing your body as something that is good and moreover we're so much in relationship with others. So we need others. We need to have that experience where others experience us and we feel experienced. We receive the experience of being seen as good enough for who we are. And so there's so many things that we can do to get that embodied media literacy. But that's that embodied piece. And then the media literacy media literacy piece is really just helping them critically digest and understand like what is going on in the media around us and not just the media, like in our friends and in our family. Because all of these fears are so important because we ended up internalizing these messages ourselves and they become our narrative and the way we live our life. And so it's not just the media literacy, the critical digestion, it's also the embodiment piece that we need those two together so much. Jen: So would you say, Hillary McBride talked about this in her first podcast with us because Hillary McBride experienced an eating disorder and actually she ended up in inpatient care and she talked about how she said her mom would tell her to eat her lunch at school, but she would come home and her mom's lunch would be uneaten in the fridge. And is that kind of what you're saying? Like it has to, we have to embody this message. Renae: Yes. I'm just trying to think about the best way to say this because it's, we can tell our kids that they are, you know, they're beautiful, they're wonderful til like tell it to the moon and back. We can say that to them over and over and over again. But if they don't see us also embodying the message, if they see us, you know, talking disparagingly to ourselves. If they see us, cook a delicious meal and then we serve them this wonderful food and then we're off in the corner just eating her salad and like restricting ourselves in what we're eating. Those, they're developing an inconsistent message about what they're about, messages about food, about their bodies. But they're learning also simultaneously that some things are good, some things are bad. And our parents model that behavior to us from such a young age. You know that from the comments that we make about, you know, "Oh, you're so beautiful," to what we eat, to how our clothes fit and we don't, I've got to stop right there for a second. We can, like, we can talk about each one those specifically- Jen: For ever and ever and ever and ever. Renae: Exactly but there is, our parents are so influential in how, in embodying and delivering this message and living and living this message. Yeah. Jen: Brene Brown talks about this quite a bit. She has a book called imperfect parenting that it is the only parenting book I will ever recommend to anybody. But she talks about what do you, you know, it is far more impactful to be self compassionate than to tell your kids they should be self compassionate. Renae: Yes, because that outer voice becomes their voice. Jen: Absolutely. Renae: When they are, when you mess up as a parent and when I mess up as a parent because oh my goodness, I do mess up and I make mistakes or even simple things like I'm driving and I take the wrong turn, instead of being like, "Oh my goodness, I'm such an idiot" being like "Ah! Mistakes happen" and, or I mess up at home or I mess up doing something else. And you know, being able to repair and model that repairing and being able to model being disappointed, even with the actions that I've made. And doing that in a healthy way isn't a sign of weakness. I think it's a sign of being able to model a way of being because our emotions are, we all have emotions and they're fundamental to the way we live and experience life. Renae: And so if I can give my children the gift of, you know, this is how, these are healthy ways that you can experience sadness or anger or like those tough emotions that don't feel comfortable, then we are, I think that's a big gift to be able to give them. Jen: Totally. Renae: And so many body image issues, are tied to insecurities, feeling anxious, feeling not enough, feeling embarrassed, feeling shame. And nobody likes sitting with those. They're not, they're uncomfortable. And so learning to be able to sit with those as parents and model that, oh, it's such a gift and it's hard. Oh it's so hard. Jen: It's so hard. And I also, I was talking with one of our Balance365ers about this last week. She struggles with caring for herself, you know, being self caring and self compassionate. And I think that it's important to understand that, well, not understand, but just to note, it might not feel natural for us, especially if we were raised by somebody who was, you know, very hard on herself or hard on us. And I think that was pretty typical that our parents came from a place of shaming, right, to discipline. And Brene Brown talks in her book about how if you're a parent who, you know, didn't shame your kids, it's like you would be shamed for not shaming them. So it was just so that's how everybody parented. And so now we have this, these generations of people who really struggle with shame and there's an element that comes in as far as being self compassionate and self loving and more, having a positive body image things, a dialogue, I guess I should say. Jen: There's such a thing as faking it til you make it right. Like, it might not feel natural, but, it's like, I just feel so strongly on the days when I just, I don't want to be self compassionate. I feel responsibility to be self compassionate for my children because I know they're watching and I never want them to question it or it to feel unnatural. I don't want them to struggle with the same things I did. And so I just sometimes don't have the energy to be kind to myself. It's just, it's in my nature to be really hard on myself. And I think, but I always have the energy for my kids and I just, I, yeah. So even when embodiment doesn't feel natural for me I feel like I feel this sense that I have to, you know, I have to for my children. And so yeah, I think a lot of people wait to take action on them. We hear this all the time in a self love sense, but they're waiting to be kind to themselves because they're waiting to learn to love themselves, but- Renae: They need feel that right. before they act on it, right, yeah, Jen: Right. But it comes from actions of self care. Renae: And it's the same thing that you would, we would tell a client that's struggling with depression. You don't wait to go for a walk. You don't wait to feel better til you go for a walk. You go for a walk and then you'll feel better. And it's the same thing with these acts of self compassion and it does feel foreign and we can validate that even in ourselves and be like, "Yeah, this feels really weird and uncomfortable but I'm still going to try it and I'm going to do it anyways because I know it's the right thing to do even if it is uncomfortable." And even as parents, you know, we want to be, we want to have shoulders that are big enough for our kids to know that, you know, they can come to us with their big emotions and our shoulders are big enough to handle and to help them to support them. Renae: So I think there's, you know, I like what you're articulating that with our kids we want to be able to model that and you know, being aware of who is the adult and who's the child. And yet at the same time being vulnerable to model what it's like to be disappointed or to be uncomfortable with yourself. I think that, I think that it's a tension that we have to, we have to grapple with and we have to, we may not always get that right perfectly, but it's something that there's no one way or the other way that we can go in order to have a healthy relationship, we need to be able to say, "Okay, you know, this is a hard day for me. I'm having a hard day. I don't have a lot of patience right now. And then whether we tell them the details, whether that's age appropriate or not is something else to consider that we need to be mindful of, you know, depending how old they are because we don't want to put them in a parental role. But at the same time, you know, if they're older than we, even when they're younger telling them, you know, "Mommy's having a hard day or I'm having a hard day. But I'm a big girl." My daughter's two. Jen: I'm a big girl. Renae: I'm a big girl and I can handle it. But just, you know, teaching that, that it's okay that even as adults we have hard days too. Annie: Yeah. Jen: Yeah. Annie: I think that's beautiful. It's not, so what I hear you saying Renae is that it's not that you need to, like, be perfect all the time. It's that, like, there's power in expressing, like, "Hey, I'm struggling too or this is hard for me or this is difficult or I'm overwhelmed or I'm angry about this, but this is how I'm going to handle it or this is what I'm going to do about it, or this is my choice." And I think that's great because you know, I think there is pressure to feel like, especially when it comes in terms of body image, like I said at the beginning to say all the right things all the right time and like, to have all the answers and it's like, maybe you don't know, you know, like I don't, I don't know. How do you feel about that? What do you think? Jen: Yeah, what do you think? Annie: -can be a great answer. Just have a discussion. Like you don't have to like have this perfect like Brene Brown answer, Renae: Or even "Let's go find the answer together." Jen: Yeah. Annie: Yeah. Renae: Right. And, that being committed to finding an answer and to finding a solution, wanting to do that together in a way that's healthy and productive not only teaches that, you know, you don't have to have all the answers, but also how to problem solve and how to, find some answers and then to be, to, to be stuck is, we all get stuck sometimes and it sucks being stuck, stuck, stuck. And, and as a parent, you know, we really want to be able to provide that roadmap. Something that has been so helpful to me, even just not even as a therapist but as like a because I have three children and they're all very different in my son's eight months old. I have two year old daughter and an eight year old son and I have this idea of, you know, how I want my kids to be and I don't want them to struggle and I don't want them to have big problems in their life, like any parent. Renae: And yet then sometimes when I parent, I think of myself as a construction worker who, like, takes a two by four and I'm hammering together this house that I am creating. But that's totally not the way parenting works. Parenting is more like tending to a garden and it's a plot of land that has its own type of soil. Each soil is a bit different. Even when you move down the road, you know, slugs get in, there's different types of, there's amount of rain, like you have to tend to the garden and be attentive to the garden, but at the same time, the garden's going to grow the way the garden is going to grow. There's so many things that are out of your control as the gardener and as a parent. And so learning to work with that, it also, I think that can be so freeing as well too because we can have such good intentions and we can be, we can be so invested in our kids, but there is, like, there's so many things that, just our kids' genetics, the experiences that our kids are having in school, there's so many factors that are involved in developing their body image and just even developing who they are that we can't put all the weight solely on us as parents, as directing the course of, like, this is the way they're going to be because well, A, it's going to fail because they have free will and they're going to do it and they're going to, and they're going to do things that we don't like sometimes. Renae: But they're also going to have their own minds and learning to cultivate that in the sense of thinking of ourselves as gardeners. To me, it's such a freeing way of thinking, freeing but also a huge element of responsibilities still in parenting and you know, realizing we don't have to be perfect parents but we have to be attentive and attuned and that's so much more, I think, gracious comes to my mind. Like we can be gracious with ourselves and we can even start that self compassion talk with ourselves too. Because sometimes our kids do things that we just, we just don't like. And it's, it's, we can, yeah, we can learn to be still present and attuned and still tend to the garden of our children. Jen: I think too, when you put, you know, when you have, you're trying to will your child to be a certain way and bringing it back to body image, what we have talked about in a previous podcast is sometimes the biggest hurdle for mothers and fathers as far as letting go and doing the things that we kind of know need to be done to help your child develop a healthy relationship with food comes down to accepting your child's body for what it is sometimes, you know, and that can be really a big hurdle for men and women and they come, you know, men, we all come with our own experiences. So for a woman who grew up being teased about her weight on the playground and that that becomes a wound and that wound goes festering her whole life. And then she has a daughter and starts from a very young age trying to control her daughter's food intake because she's so afraid of her daughter being fat and having that same experience that is such a hard thing to deal with. Jen: But ultimately you have to, you know, our own body acceptance is one thing. But as a parent you have to accept your child's body as well for what it is. And it can just, it can be so tempting and some people just do it unconsciously trying to kind of control their child's body size. But ultimately I don't think you're doing your child any favors, you know, by trying to, will them into a certain body size so they don't get teased. You need to work on developing that resiliency at home and that positive body image and- Renae: and a lot of that comes down to language as well, too. And learning to talk about our bodies in a way of like what is your body capable of doing and exercise is so important. Not even, like there's so many health benefits that you are all aware of for exercise from, you know, depression and anxiety and just in addition to just bodily health benefits and you know, for mental health benefits as well too. And but reframing exercise and reframing moving our bodies in a way not to reduce our shape or to change our weight, but rather to promote health because then we're moving from a place of not lack. We don't, we want to move to a place of fullness and not where we're changing our bodies to become smaller, to become, to reduce in size but rather to become more fully alive and more fully who we are. Renae: And I think a lot of that even, so that's one thing that we can do just when we come to exercise. But then the other thing with exercise, because it is so important, and I also, I have parents talked to me about this as well, is that, you know, do things together and make it fun and make it a time of like bonding and where you're experiencing your body in new ways together. And I mean, and it doesn't have to be something like going for a hike or going for a swim, you can do some simple things like dancing or my kids are really little so even like wrestling. Jen: Right. Renae: Lots of things that we can do where we can, like, move our bodies in just, like, daily ways that are fun and active. Right? Jen: Right. Yeah. Annie: It looks a lot more like play, you know, than, which I think trips a lot of people up, a lot of parents up when they think about, you know, getting active as a family. It's like I don't, when we get asked to have a family, it's not like we're doing an aerobics youtube class, we're, like, we're running and we're playing, we're jumping, we're, you know- Renae: Playing hockey, climbing trees. Like there's lots that you can do and it's about lifestyle, though. It's learning to experience your body in a way as like a lifestyle that is a vessel to adventure and voyage in the world. Annie: Yeah. Kind of on that same note, you were on the tip of the iceberg there, Renae is, your second point is to be mindful of your language by cultivating all of who they are and you know that we focus on what we value. So we need to value and grow all parts of our kids, which I don't know where you are exactly where you were headed but what comes to mind is my dad has the best of intentions, but all the time "What a pretty girl, what a pretty-" like to my daughter, "What a strong boy. What a handsome boy." It's just all very appearance space. And there's definitely, you know, the stereotypical little boy, little girl comments that he always gives. And I'm like, "But we're more than that." Is that, is that what you meant? Renae: Exactly. And it makes sense that, you know, in first impressions that we do focus on appearance because we necessarily know somebody and we can see the outward physical experience of who they are. So we, you know, it's easy to make why we would focus on that, but especially little girls from such a young age and even a little boys, you know, they're so cute or they're so adorable. If that's what we hear growing up time and time again, that is what we are going to value. You know, you think about the news, the news broadcasts, what's valuable, like, what's going on in the world, right? And so you hear it on every single news station and if every single news station is for our kids is highlighting their appearance, it's beautiful, it's wonderful, that's what they need to focus on. Renae: That's what the is going to become at the forefront of their attention and what they're going to need to invest in, what they're gonna need to pay attention to. And so I really become so mindful even more now having kids and especially like my friend's kids or kids that I meet just focusing on just finding anything that I can compliment that focuses on the intention of cultivating their entire personhood. So if my kids are playing Lego, "Oh my goodness, that's so creative in what you've made that took a lot of hard work" or "Wow, you're so, you're so smart in how you figured out this problem" and really trying to help them expand their awareness about all the things that they are capable of doing and to help them just expand their awareness but then just place value on that and speak into that into their life to know this is good. Renae: There's so many qualities about you that are so good as well. And that can be hard to do in the beginning. Especially when you see somebody that you know, just meeting your friends' little daughter that you've just met for the first time or just haven't seen her in a long time and she's wearing a really cute dress that she got a really cute haircut and you're like, "Oh you're so cute." And I don't think it's bad. And I really don't think it's bad to say, "Oh, you're adorable." But I would say, like, for every one comment that you give that is appearance-focused, try to find a five to seven comments that are not appearance focused because we live in a highly appearance-focused culture from just the fact that we live on our screens so often. And so it's natural that our attention goes to that. Renae: So being able to cultivate all those other qualities, that's kind of where I'm going with being mindful of our language because again, that external voice that we hear, we internalize that voice. I was just talking to my debt to my husband yesterday about language growing up and about our bodies and experiencing our bodies. And I said, when I was younger my dad always used to pat me on the back really firm, and then say "solid as a horse." I loved horses and it was such a compliment to me because it meant I was strong and I was capable and I, and that and that always stuck with me. And so there's fun ways that you can do that as well. But yeah, that's just something that kind of like stood up for me and these voices become our voices as we get older. Renae: I grew up, we covered this in one of our podcasts where Annie interviewed me and my sister and, we grew up with very different body types and so, Annie interviewed us on our experience of this and I grew up with people commenting on my body my whole life, like how thin I was, and I just, it was always there, which really speaks more to the women around me, what was going through their heads, right, than anything to do with me. But I would say that contributed greatly to how I ended up developing my values as a woman, right, of what was important. And so I agree with you. I don't think there's anything wrong with commenting on someone's appearance or complimenting their experience, you know, but in context, like I love how you said, just really think about it in context of the world we live in. Like there's nothing wrong with telling a little girl she's pretty, or for me to tell Annie she looks beautiful today, but when you, yeah, when you put it in context of the world we live in, that's all we're acknowledging about women. And now we have a society full of women who are, you know, they're making themselves sick, trying to pursue appearance ideals that just aren't even healthy, right. Renae: And it makes sense though, why we are pursuing this because it's so much more than our appearance. So we live in this world where we have these images of these idealized beauty standards where women are, tend to be thin. You know, they have flawless skin, they have this, there's so many factors that are unattainable and that continues to shift, you know, depending on kind of what decade that we are in, but there's still ideals of the case. So this is what a woman looks like right now that, you know, she's considered the beauty standard, but it's not just that, it's this beauty standard. It's the subtext to that. It's this pairing of a beautiful ideal now, like an impossible ideal thanks to, you know, Facetune, Modiface or Perfect365 or any one of those apps or just Photoshop in general. So you have this impossible beauty ideal. But then you also have this, this pairing with love, acceptance, opportunities, mattering. All of these, these images are so closely tied to these deeper fundamental qualities that we all want as humans. We all want to matter. Jen: Yes. Success. Lovable. Connection. Renae: Exactly. And so we're automatically lured in when we see an image like this or we see, we see something that, you know, even on social media, there's a reason that those numbers are there. Like Instagram didn't, or Snapchat didn't make these platforms and think, I wonder if someone's going to use these platforms. It was like, of course not. They know there's a reason why these likes these views, these metrics are there. Because we conflate that with value and we, equate that to mattering to being seen and we all want to be seen. Like that's, as humans, we're wired to be in connection with each other and so we need to acknowledge that it's complex and it makes sense why some of us, why a lot of us, why we strive to have this beauty ideal, but that's where it goes back to that media literacy and teaching kids about the subtext, about the deeper messages, about the deeper ideas of what's actually being depicted, about what actually is being shown here so that we can help them not only critically digest it but then invite experiences into their lives that are going to allow them to live a holistic life where they're not only thinking about their appearance or they're not only thinking about their, you know, their account following on whatever social media platform they're using because it's, it's a complicated issue and we need to, but they're smart and they can grapple with it from a young age and so we need to equip them from a young age because they're using these platforms from such a young age. Annie: Which I think is a great segue into your third point, Renae, that you encourage parents to be mindful of how many reminders kids have of their appearance and clothing mirrors, cameras social media and how that shapes our value system. And I actually had that experience just the other day. I was thinking, like, I was just having a rough body image day, which, as it happens- Renae: It does happen, yeah. Annie: And it was just like, it just seemed like I wanted to capture these photos, or these selfies with my kids, but like, I just couldn't, like, it was just there. It was just right in front of my face all the time. Like every time I opened up Instagram it was like, you know, do an insta story, but I didn't want to be in the photo, but I wanted the photo and it was just like, you know, and then, and even how seeing other people's appearance reminded me of my own as well. Renae: Yes. Annie: Like it had nothing to do with it, but it was like, I mean, I used to do this, I used to struggle a lot with this when I really, really struggled with body image, probably about five, 10 years ago. It was really hard for me to see other beautiful women because it was just a reminder of all the ways I was feeling. I couldn't just separate the two. I couldn't just admire her attributes or features or traits or whatever, or even see her for more than just a physical thing. I just really struggled to get beyond that and it was somehow I made it into a reflection of all the ways I was lacking. And I would imagine that young girls and boys are dealing with that just as much, if not more with the rise of social media. Renae: Yeah. And I think just to even springboard off what you're saying there, something that isn't necessarily the most popular opinion, but I think it's something that we do need to acknowledge and grapple with is that beauty is,, there are objective standards of kind of like what is a beautiful person? And I mean it's hourglass shape for women. It's hourglass shape, it's clear skin, it's like bright hair, it's white eyes. These are kind of universal standards of what a beautiful person is. And there's been a big push within the body positivity community and I think has been really well intentioned. But at the same time it's actually been perpetuating this obsession and this focus on our bodies because not people are not going to, like I said, it's been, not everybody is, you know, drop dead beautiful. They're just not. Because if we're all beautiful, then we're actually all average. Beauty is above average. Renae: And the problem with that though is that with hearing that is thinking that "Well, then I'm of lesser value." And that's not at all what I'm saying, and I'm not even talking about inner beauty, we all have inner beauty and because inner beauty is defined by a wide, wide range of like of attributes and characteristics and it's way more important. But this obsession with, you know, liking our bodies for everything that they are, you know, liking all our cellulite, liking every wrinkle, every stray hair, every whatever it is that perpetuates this value system where our focus stays on our bodies. And when we are scrolling on social media, unless you are following like dogs and panda bears or kitty cats, you're being focused on the body, that's just inevitably what's going on. And, so even as like for me as a body image researcher, I have to be so mindful of that. Jen: And then even like living in Vancouver, I don't live in Vancouver but that's the closest big city that is where I live, Vancouver is world renowned for its architecture on glass, for example. And when what happens when you walk past a glass, like, a mirror, you see your reflection, you, like, check yourself out a little bit. That's just, it's natural. You don't want to feel, you don't need to feel bad about that. But what we do. But then again, it's just that it's that energy that goes back to our appearance. And I think something that we really, really have to be mindful of is that we have a finite amount of mental energy. We have an absolute finite amount of mental energy. And if that is being devoted to our appearance, whether that is good or bad, that is energy that is going elsewhere that cannot be focused on cultivating all aspects of who we are. And so I've really started to take that to heart in my own life. And even just the way even I manage Free To Be and I manage the social media and I manage just the experiences that I invite into my life because it impacts us. It just does. Jen: The other thing is that we have this as one of our questions in our Balance365 Self Love Journal. So if you take who you are and break it down into a pie chart and if you are kind and funny and a really good friend, a very supportive partner, you know, if you just break it down and if each of those takes up 10% of who you are, who you are, who you consider yourself to be, and appearance is in there, because appearance is part of who we are. If that is 10% of who you are, then when you wake up in the morning with a huge zit or whatever, it doesn't destroy you. It's just a little bit of who you are and you can still function and move along. Or maybe you aren't considered the standard of beauty in our society, but it's just a little piece of who you are, your appearance. Jen: But the problem is I feel like we have a society of women who were taught that their appearance is 80% of who they are. Renae: Oh yeah. Jen: And so when they wake up in the morning with a zit, it just, it destroys them or whatever else is bothering them about their appearance. It destroys them and they can barely function in life because their body image is just so, so negative. Or if you have a bad body image day and knowing that your appearance is just a part of who you are, it can allow you to have a bad body image but still function where some people can't get out of bed in the morning when they're having a bad body image day and so really looking at all of who you are, which comes back to what were, you know you had said we need to start teaching our kids and complimenting them for the whole person that they are. Because when we are just complimenting on appearance or just talking about appearance or just scrolling social media and looking at other people's appearances we're starting to build this idea that women are their appearance and then it's just so, so, so then it just becomes, then of course if your parents are 75% of who you are, then 75% of your mental energy is going to go into trying to improve your appearance. But women are just, they are just so much more. Renae: We're so much more than that and yet we're that, that focus on it from such a young age goes to our appearances. So it makes sense that it's so hard to break out of those, like, corseted ideals that we, that we bind ourselves to because that is how we're reinforced and we can't be naive, like, we are, we are rewarded when, when we ascribe or when we try to follow them and let me qualify that, some of us are rewarded and, but we have to be very aware that, that, that power that we get from that that's super short lived. Because it's not true power if, you know, it's going to expire when you're 30 or when your appearance is going to change or if something happens to you. Like that's, we need to, we need to be grounded and centred for deeper things. But it makes sense why we would feel that way and yet we can also work towards then living life differently as well too. Annie: I've found too, unapologetically, about going to therapy, but one of the things I'm learning is that like my true power comes from within. Like, it's not, I don't get my power from compliments or praise or affirmation or validation from, I don't, I don't get to like outsource my power. And I've tried that for many, many years. Like if they like me then I like me. If they think I'm pretty, then I'm pretty. If they like my work then it's valuable and that feels good in the short term. But it's ultimately not sustain. Like it doesn't fulfill me. And so turning inward, like, do I like me? Who am I? What do I value has been like way more worth my energy than like trying to look a certain way or do a certain thing so other people like me. Renae: And at the same time, that's like, that's hard to do to put, like, our own beliefs and to put that under a microscope because that can be super uncomfortable to kind of shift away from the thinking that we have had because it does feel good. And then when you think about social media, just going to say one more thing about social media here, you then we are rewarded with those short term signals of those likes, thumbs up and all those things and those things do feel good. You do get, you know the dopamine, a neurotransmitter like dopamine, you get a little rushed and that feels good, but the problem is then we, that's what we ended up seeking more and more and more of that, those short term, the short term validations. And we don't end up doing that deeper work of like, who am I? Renae: What do I stand for? What do I like? And at the same time living in that tension about acknowledging that our body image concerns don't develop in a vacuum. They develop in context with other people. And so it's going to be so important that we realize that our healing is also going to develop in context with other people where we're going to have to have experiences where people teach us that we are enough, that we are good just the way we are, that we don't have to change, that we aren't too much or too little of something. That healing also is going to have to occur in relationship because we are, we are so wired for relationship. And so it's a, although we want to have, you know, that internal locus of control, we also are dependent on others to be able to have that and also to be seen. Renae: Cause we need to be seen, we need to matter. And that all happens in context with others. And so it's, I think sometimes I get frustrated when I walk on, when I scroll on social media and I see all these self love inspo quotes and it's, we're shortchanging ourselves because developing these issues didn't develop in isolation. And so healing these concerns isn't also gonna occur in isolation. I just don't, I think that you can find healing through groups on social media, but I'm always so wary of the system, you know, again, because we are rewarded for these likes and these comments and it pulls us and it's so, so powerful. So being able to have conversations like we're having right now where I can see your faces and I can see your expressions. I can see the way you're moving. It's so much more telling than, you know, just liking a post that you put online and it's way more healing and even embodying to be able to do this. And it takes, it's more holistic. It's part of, like, a whole personhood. And again, that goes back to the healing of who we are. Jen: I wonder what your opinion is on, like, a lot body acceptance slash self love bloggers, influencers, whatever you want to call them. They post photos of themselves, their bodies, you know, in bikini or underwear and supposedly exposing these flaws, right? These "flaws." And people love it and I've heard there's larger organizations like Beauty Redefined talking about how, look if we're trying to acknowledge women as a whole person, we have to move past this constant, you know, barrage of women's bodies. Like if, you know, if you want to love the whole person then we have to look at the whole person. We just can't keep seeing women in bikinis or their underwear showing stretch marks and, I understand what they're saying, but I have to say that personally when I saw that shift start on social media, this is before we founded this company and everything, that was extremely healing for me to see other women's bodies that looked like mine. Like I remember the first time feeling like wanting to sob. Like there's other people out there that look like me. Renae: Yes, absolutely and I do struggle with this because it's something that it's very, it's very healing to be, when you see yourself represented, you see, you see that as valuable. I think it is important that we do have a wide range of bodies that are out there. And my body has changed drastically after giving birth and being able to see other women's bodies out there, see stretch marks, see saggy boobs, see different things is normalizing and it and that speaks to that deeper issue of wanting to connect and be seen. Right? And we can feel shame when we carry these fears in isolation and we think that we're the only ones and there's just healing by feeling known. And so I think with those photos and that, those, this wider representation of bodies shown is helping a lot of us being known, be accepted. And that in and of itself is healing. And yet at the same time, I also hold the same viewpoint that we do need to move past. We do need to move past just focusing on women's bodies. But they're both incredibly important steps, I think you could say. Or just things that we need to acknowledge intentions that we need to work with. We just can't, we can't dismiss the one and say that it's not healing. Jen: It's almost like a phase, you know, I had a phase where I was following any woman I could find who was showing her body because I just, I knew I wanted more and more and more of it because it was just so validating for me. Like I just, I felt a release. I felt this just, "Oh my gosh. There's other people out there that look like me" and, but now I feel like I'm in a different phase where I've sort of like, "Okay, yes, there are many other bodies that look like mine and bodies come in all shapes, sizes, colors, and I don't need that in my life as much anymore." Now it's like there's like a phase, I think. Like I feel like I'm on phase two at this point where I- Annie: I personally feel like, cause I feel the same, Jen, but I still post those photos because from time to time, because I do acknowledge that, like, I can acknowledge, like, I know that there's bodies come in a variety of shapes and sizes, but I also know that there's still so many women like you and me and Lauren, you know, five years ago that needed that photo. Jen: Right. And I see it, I see when you do post pictures of your stomach, Annie, I see when when your stomach is visible in a post, you know, women appreciate it so much. They see this woman who is happy, who is powerful, who loves her body, and has, you know, positive body image and also, is unashamed of these parts of her body that our society- Annie: My humanness. Jen: Humanness has told us is wrong. It's something that should be hidden. Something we should be trying to fix, something we should be deeply ashamed of. And so I still see it. I still see it because there's always new mothers coming. You know, sometimes we get disconnected almost from what a new mom experiences. And I look back and think, my goodness, the change in me from when I had my first 10 years ago to now like, I mean I thought my body was ruined. I thought I was an abomination after I had my first baby and I can't and I have to, I have to constantly remind myself that there are women who are feeling like that every single day because it's, you know, things have shifted for me. But I think we live in a world where there's more talk of body image today than there ever has been. Like 10 years ago, I feel like it wasn't even an option to love your postpartum body. It wasn't. Where now it's an option, but we still have to make women aware of it. Renae: I think that the tricky line or the line that we want to be aware of, especially from when I think about the research standpoint behind this is the objectification. So when I think sometimes of when I scroll through social media and I see photos of someone posing in a very objectifying pose and then they have this like liberating quote underneath, if you took away the quote and you just were to see the image for what it was, it can reinforce women as being objectified. And again, that's something that, and because we have limited mental energy when we are, when we objectify ourselves, we can internalize that voice. And we then we view our bodies as objects to be consumed, as objects that are, like, viewing pleasure for somebody else. And again, it's so subtle that because we just, we are inundated with diet culture. Renae: We're inundated where women are still seeing so often, in an objectified sense. And so it's something that I just, I really am very mindful of with myself, with even like, even just the research and what I encourage people to do as well too, thinking about, you know, like I do think it's so good to post to how photos of diverse ranges of bodies, but there's a big difference between posting a body that is, you know, having fun or happy or like doing something versus a body and like, and then let's say, you know, I've got stretch marks or I'm, or I've got the, you know, my body's changing. I want to be able to show this is what a body can look like. And this is an aging body and this is a good, and I'm still having fun and I'm having, and this is great, but there's a difference between posting a photo like that versus spending, you know, a long time like A, photoshopping my photo, taking a hundred selfies and then wanting to post only the right photo and then doing it in a way that's, like, very objectifying. Renae: I think we really have to think about like our intentions behind why we are posting those photos. And again, that's not like the most popular opinion to hold. But then when you again, when you look at the research and when you look at how much time and energy we invest into our bodies, I think it's just, we only, we only get one life to live. And I think that's like the driving force behind why I'm so passionate about this message is we get one life to live. And when, I was just at a funeral on the weekend and prior to the funeral I had felt like I had nothing to wear. And then when I was in, when I was sitting in my chair and I was listening in the church to what was being said. And it was, she was an absolutely amazing lady. Renae: I was like, it would just, it just puts everything into perspective for me again about my goodness, I get one life to live. I want to live my life. I don't want to worry about these additional pressures that I invite into my life. And so tying that all back to the initial conversation about like, about the images that we're seeing out there, I think it's healing. We just need to be mindful of how much energy we're investing into it. Cause when you're dying, we're not going to think, "Oh, I wish I posted more photos of, you know, of my body doing this." And yet at the same time we want to be like, I feel comfortable because I did see women in their bodies, right? So- Jen: Yeah. Right. That's a perfect response. Annie: I want to be mindful of our listeners times here. And I know I have, I'm looking at the outline and I have questions that I still wanted to ask you. So what I would love to do is invite you back next month. How's that sound? Renae: Great. Annie: Like we said at the beginning, we could talk about this forever and ever. But before we pop off, I know that you have a special gift for our listeners. Do you want to tell them about that? Renae: Yes, I would if I, for anybody that's listening, if you would like to be trained in Free to Be our research based curriculum, it helps, it's for youth in grades five, six, seven and eight. It helps develop media literacy, cultivate their individual and their group strengths. It really helps with developing gratitude and just a whole, it's a six session program and I want to be able to offer any listener that's out there 30% off the curriculum so you can use the discount code. I believe it's FreeToBeBalanced and I don't know if you're going to link to that in the show notes or anything like that. And so that we can take this conversation outside of, you know, this wonderful podcast and you can actually start to have these conversations with your kids and you can even potentially have your, if you're a teacher you can be trained to run it in your school. And so that we can continue to spread this impact wider because I do just think that there's such a powerful shift that's happening now with the conversations that we are happening and people are wanting and especially kids, they want to have these conversations. And so you are welcome to use a discount code FreeToBeBalanced and to get 30% off the curriculum. Annie: That's so awesome. Thank you so much. Jen: Yeah! Annie: So excited. We're changing the world. Renae: Yes we are. Annie: Okay. Well thank you so much for joining us. We have to come. I want you to come back because I know Jen in particular to had a great question about addressing all of these topics with boys and if there's any differences that we need to be mindful of in our approach and our discussion and our topics. And, because you do work with boys and girls, which I think is really great that this, your program is not just for females. So, we'd love to have you back. We'll set up a time and continue this talk. Okay? Renae: Thank you so much. Thank you for having me. Jen: Thanks Renae. Bye. Annie: This episode is brought to you by the Balance365 program. If you're ready to say goodbye to quick fixes and false promises and yes to building healthy habits and a life you're 100% in love with, then checkout Balance365.co to learn more.…
Emotional eating can be a real challenge in finding balance. Sometimes there is a sense of helplessness to it. In today’s podcast, Josh Hillis shares his emotional eating coaching strategy to help our listeners find new ways to cope with stress that doesn’t always revolve around food. What you’ll hear in this episode: How effective are cravings control strategies when you have emotional eating issues? Is the answer to emotional eating more control? The emotional release effect when you emotionally eat after tight control The role of acceptance in emotional eating Normalizing the existence of uncomfortable emotions. Diffusing uncomfortable emotions - what does that mean? Gaining perspective around the perceived urgency of feelings The role of mindfulness in managing negative emotions Defining emotional or disinhibited eating Learning to let the monsters ride the bus Being in the driver's seat of how you deal with feelings Introducing a waiting period to delay emotional eating The value of taking time to identify feelings Ways to scale and create distance between you and your feelings Three ways to feel comfortable with your feelings without using food Managing expectations of emotional eating - moving past all or nothing Psychological flexibility as a goal, defined. Identifying and being aware of your “monsters” Thought suppression and the health and wellness industry sales tactics Frequency and emotional eating Rules vs Self-Loving Guidelines Tracking progress - things you can track Resources: Josh’s Blog Fat Loss Happens On Monday Everything You Know About Emotional Eating is Wrong - blog post Annie quotes Mothers, Daughters and Body Image - Hillary McBride’s book Getting Older: Hillary Mcbride On Women And Aging Episode 13: How Your Body Image Impacts Your Children With Hillary Mcbride Learn more about Balance365 Life here Subscribe on Apple Podcasts , Spotify , Google Play , or Android so you never miss a new episode! Visit us on Facebook | Follow us on Instagram | Check us out on Pinterest Join our free Facebook group with over 40k women just like you! Did you enjoy the podcast? Leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or Google Play ! It helps us get in front of new listeners so we can keep making great content. Transcript Annie: Welcome to Balance365 Life Radio, a podcast that delivers honest conversations about food, fitness, weight, and wellness. I'm your host Annie Brees along with Jennifer Campbell and Lauren Koski. We are personal trainers, nutritionists and founders of Balance365. Together we have coached thousands of women each day and are on a mission to help them feel healthy, happy, and confident in their bodies on their own terms. Join us here every week as we discuss hot topics pertaining to our physical, mental, and emotional wellbeing with amazing guests. Enjoy. Annie: Welcome to Balance365 Life Radio. I am so excited for today's guest because today's incredibly smart and talented guest goes way back with Balance365, so far back in fact that he knew Lauren, Jen and I before we were even a business. Josh Hillis has been a longtime friend and mentor to the three of us and I'm so excited for you to hear his wisdom on today's episode. Josh helps people beat emotional eating using a skill-based not diet-based approach that allows people to create a new relationship with their bodies and food and get results that have previously never been possible. Josh is the author of Fat Loss Happens on Monday and the upcoming lean and strong and yet untitled emotional eating book coming out in 2020. Josh has been writing for his blog losestubbornfat.com since 2004 and he currently attends MSU Denver and is doing his thesis on contextual behavioral science and emotional eating. He's the perfect guest for this topic. The current standard answer to emotional eating and the health and fitness industry encourages individuals to just have more control, more control over their diet, over their thoughts, over their emotions, more control over your cravings. But on today's episode, Josh shares why that advice usually doesn't work. For those who struggle with emotional eating and provides multiple practical tools to help you overcome it, I think you're going to love it and joy. Annie: Josh, welcome to Balance365 Life Radio. We're so happy to have you. You go way back with our team like way, way back. How are you? Josh: I'm good. How are you guys? It's so cool to see you guys again. Annie: I know, like, we're still, like, we're still together. The last time we were Facetiming was under a little bit different context. We were Healthy Habits Happy Moms then and we were, you've kind of helped us mentor us as far as like habits and skills and philosophies and you're just a really great coach. Just flat out really great. Josh: Thank you. From you guys, that's awesome. Annie: So we're so happy to have you and Jen and Lauren are here too. How are you guys? Jen: Hi- Lauren: Good. Josh goes way back to like before we were even a thing. Jen: We met Josh the same time we met each other. Lauren: Yeah. Josh: Wow. Jen: Years ago. Annie: Yeah. Josh: Oh Wow. That's awesome. That's amazing. Annie: So you're kind of a big deal to us, are we making you uncomfortable yet? Josh: That's awesome. Jen: When our book comes out we're going to have a page for acknowledgements and I was just telling the girls last week, like Josh Hillis is going to be my number one acknowledgement. Josh: Are you serious? Jen: Yeah, just like all your work and your blog, like it's been so insanely helpful to me. And even just watching you in conversation with people, like, as creepy as that sounds, but just how you handle people, how it's just and you're just so objective and, and really what we try to embody at Balance365 as far as there's no right one right way for every single person and just being open to tools and helping people build a, just a more varied toolbox and they currently have for their health and wellness. Jen: And also the other big thing that we come up against is that, because we're all about self acceptance and embracing oneself, we also often get lumped into a segment of this industry that we all know about, which is basically the anti weight loss movement, which is like weight loss is so bad. Why? Like nobody better talk about this. And a lot of dietitians are on that train as well as psychologists. And so it's just, it's like frightening for me at times. And I found myself questioning, you know, cause you go to the, you see these other professionals and you're like, "Oh man, like, she makes a good point, like what's?" And you've question your own values and what, but ultimately we have risen as like, look, we're just, we're just trying to take a messy middle approach. And there is really nothing inherently wrong with weight loss, changing your behaviors. Jen: And I so appreciate that and you, because I see you as a real leader and professional, not just in the health and wellness industry. Well the health and fitness industry I should say, but you are now a part of the psychology industry. Lauren: Say, "Hey, this is okay. Come on" Annie: And you're not a jerk. Like you're not, like you're not out there shaming people and you're like still able to like help them achieve the goals that they have in a really like compassionate, positive way, which is awesome. Jen: Yeah. And you've got a couple of clients I was reading yesterday on your page that you have a couple of clients that have lost over a hundred pounds. That's like, that's a, that's a life changing, values altering like those clients, like you've totally changed their lives. Josh: Yeah. Yeah. Annie: So now are you uncomfortable? Josh: No, this is like the coolest, most thoughtful, most wonderful compliments I could ever get because you guys are acknowledging me for the things that I've worked the hardest at and that mean the most to me, like in the world. So I totally appreciate it. I totally, totally, totally appreciate it. Annie: Yay. Well, we're like, we can just be your ultimate hype women when you're having a bad day. You can give us a call. Okay. Josh: Can you guys introduce me on every podcast? Annie: We can. But peaking of podcasts, we should probably talk about the topic that I, that you actually wanted to talk about because we've been trying to get you on the show for a while and you're a busy guy. So, when I said, are there any topics that you wanted to jam on and you were like emotional eating, like top on your list. So what is it about emotional eating that you love so much? Josh: I think, so a couple of different things, on like the bigger, like zoomed out level, I think it's access to making the kind of difference that I want to make with people. If they can get, what's really neat is if someone really struggles with emotional eating and they can get that under control it tends to spiral out into other areas of their lives and they have like better relationships and do better at work. I mean like it's, it's really like I don't coach any of that stuff and that kind of thing shows up. The other thing that I like about it is I think it's a place where people feel so out of control and they feel like they can't be this kind of person that they want to be and like they're like, they're being driven by this other thing. And so I like it cause I want to put them back in the driver's seat. and then also the framework that I study, which is contextual behavioral science is just really good for that. And so that's- Annie: I think it's great because I, you have, you have an incredible blog. One of the blog posts you shared with me, you noted that the typical response in the fitness industry to emotional eating is like control, like just control more things and then like, you'll be fine. And,in order to control emotional eating, individuals just they need to control their diet, then control their thoughts, their emotions, their cravings, and you think that that's pretty much crap. Josh: Yeah. Annie: So tell us why, why do you think it's crap? Tell us more. I mean, we agree. Josh: Yeah. So, one thing I just want to preface this with, because it's the most surprising cause I do think it's totally crap and I've gone that way for a while, but I was really surprised this year that I found some studies where they separated out people that had a high degree of emotional eating and cravings, eating and external eating, which is like, you see food and you want it versus people that scored really low on that. And for the people that scored really low on that control was actually fine. Control actually totally worked just just fine. But that's not the clients that I get, you know, they don't hear me. So, the flip side is that control, if you do have issues with cravings or emotional eating, tired eating or and you're procrastinating or any of those things, then control will have an opposite effect. If it works, it always rebounds and the rebound is always, pretty un-fun. Like people really feel like a really, really bad loss of loss of control and they feel kind of gross and they don't feel good about themselves. Jen: So it's sort of that the more tightly wound you are, the faster, harder you'll spin out. And applied to eating, I think people get that release, like they're so tightly wound around food trying to control everything then getting out of control, they just, I mean in the moment it's like a release, right? Josh: Yeah. So you bring up these two really big points. Oh man, it's so cool. So on one hand you've got this like rule based way of living and the problem with having a totally rule based way of living is you break the rule and you're like, I'm off. I'm like explode. Like do it all because this is the last time ever. So, there's that huge like explosion release thing there. And then the other side is that, like, food really does work temporarily for numbing emotions. So, those two things kind of spiral together where people, like, break the rule and they're like, "Oh no, I'm, I'm off my diet and I'm going to go into all the things." And then they start to feel guilty about it. And then they actually are eating to numb the guilty feelings they have about breaking the rules. It's like- Jen: layer one and layer two. Lauren: Wow. The plot thickens. Josh: Totally. Annie: So I understand if you have emotional eating issues or cravings control strategies backfire, like they aren't helpful. What does work? Josh: Great question. So, it kind of all fits in the world of like acceptance based strategies and I get, I like, I have some clients to kind of freak out when I say, like, "acceptance", you know, cause they're like, "I don't want to accept." But that's just kind of like a family of strategies. And what kind of falls inside of that is, the first thing is actually normalizing. It's just recognizing every single time that you have uncomfortable thoughts and uncomfortable emotions, that it's normal to have uncomfortable thoughts, uncomfortable emotions and, like, the foundation is people, like, believe that that's not okay. You know, cause they've heard so much about, like, positive thinking or controlling their thoughts or all of these things or they were, maybe it wasn't cool growing up for them to have emotions or whatever. Josh: But for whatever reason, they think they're supposed to be a shiny, happy person. And just recognizing it's normal to feel sad sometimes. And the number of coaching calls I get on where something really bad happens to someone and I have to say like, "It's okay. It's okay to feel to feel bad. It's okay to feel sad. It's okay. It's okay to have all these feelings." So recognize that it's okay and normal and healthy. Sometimes we can even pair with, well, that's jumping to the next thing. So the next thing is getting a little bit of distance from uncomfortable thoughts and emotions, in act and acceptance commitment training they call it diffusion or fusion. So if you're fused with your thoughts, you feel like they're coming from you, you feel like they're true or true or false, and you feel like there are a command, you feel like there like something that like urgently needs to be fixed. Josh: Diffusion is getting enough enough distance from your thoughts. You can see that like these thoughts might have come from my parents or the media or magazines or whatever. But like, my automatic thoughts aren't me. Right. They aren't true or not true. They're just thoughts. They aren't an urgent problem that needs to be fixed, right? It's normal to have these thoughts and feeling and so diffusion is a matter of, if people have done any kind of like meditation or mindfulness and like, noticing your thoughts and like not so that's where people get caught up. A lot of people have done, I've tried to meditate or do mindfulness in such a way that they were trying to change their thoughts and not have thoughts. So, it's not that, but it's like being able to notice like, "Oh, here are these thoughts and these emotions." Josh: And it could be as simple as saying, "I notice I'm having the thought that blank" versus just treating the thought like it's true. Or probably a little later we'll get to, there's a metaphor for all this called, let the monsters ride the bus and it will kind of pull this together, but, basically get it, get enough distance from those thoughts that you can be with them and that they're not driving and then the third thing is you've got to drive. Like you're the bus driver, but like you can have these thoughts and still take actions that fit your values in your life. And then the last thing is that requires having actually, like, clarified your values. Jen: Right? Right. Annie: This is like my therapy. This is what I discuss with my therapist. Josh: Do you have an acts therapist? Annie: I don't know. But there's, it does feel very similar into that, like just acknowledging like, these are my thoughts. These are my emotions. What is this? Where did this come from? I don't have to act on them. I can just acknowledge them and, and then sitting with them, not like trying to numb them, not trying to run away from them or like avoid them. Yeah. Lauren: I've realized recently that my, I'm very prone to, what did you say? Fusion? Josh: Yeah. Lauren: Where I'm like, this is my thought and I have to fix it right now. Josh: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Jen: We know that about you. Annie: We could've told you that, Lauren. Jen: She's doing that thing again. Lauren: Well, I recently found this about myself. Jen: This is like my inner Spock. Like when my inner Spock is like, "Halt." You know what I mean? When we have to, "Let's analyze this." Yeah. Annie: So, okay, so Josh, what does this, what does this look like? So people have stress, they have an emotion. They have like, I mean, it could be emotional eating, it can be a wide continuum of emotions. It could be happy. It could be- Jen: We didn't define emotional eating either at the beginning. Annie: Yeah. Do you have a definition, Josh, that you, or a way to define emotional eating? Josh: So most of what I'm looking at is disinhibited eating. So that's, like, a feeling of loss of control with food related to strong emotions, good or bad? Good, good or bad. Wanted or unwanted would probably be more accurate, external, like, seeing things and cravings and so it'd be eating in response to any of those things. With my clients I also lump in, to me it's all the same thing. I also lump in procrastination eating, tiredness eating. Those are the other two. Yeah. Annie: Tiredness eating being that you eat when you're tired. Josh: Yeah. Annie: That's me. Annie: I do that I think. Yeah. Okay, so you experience these emotions, any of them. And then you have a behavior around food. Is that- Josh: Yeah. Annie: Any behavior or it could be a wider range of behaviors? Josh: Oh, it's typically like feeling some degree of loss of control. Like you're not, you don't feel like you're choosing to eat the Brownie, like, I woke up and there was brownies everywhere. Jen: It would be different than happy eating cause we had someone in Balance365. I feel like her emotional eating was out of control. She ate when she was sad, but she also ate when she was happy. But it's more of a loss of control aspect to it. Not a, "Oh, I'm so happy. Let's grab a cake. Celebrate." It's right. Josh: Yeah. It's not, "Let's have a bottle of wine at on date night." It's not, "It's my grandma's hundredth birthday. I'm going to have a chocolate cake." It's not that at all. Should I get into stuff like what, what we do about it? Annie: Yeah. Go for it. Jen: If you want to. Josh: So the simplest thing to do is to put in a waiting period. Right. Could be waiting. 10 minutes, could be waiting a minute. Does it matter? All we're trying to do is they've got this really, really ingrained pattern of have an emotion, eat and if we can separate that, we're good. So that means, like, if I've got clients with pretty legit emotional eating problems, we'll start off with, they have an emotion. They wait 10 minutes, they eat the thing anyway, almost every time. That's fine. We can totally start there. Jen: Progress being the waiting period. Josh: Yeah. Yeah. So, the progress is it's not automatic, they might have to like struggle with it for that 10 minutes or they might have to think about it for that 10 minutes, but at some point, but they've got enough time, they get to choose in that case where they're having it all the time, they don't, they don't have a lot of choice. But it's at least we're breaking that pattern where it's automatic, where they might not even know what they're feeling. They might not even know what they're thinking. Which is actually really common, which is really, which is why, another really, so things you can put in that 10 minutes, you can put it in like looking at a feelings wheel and being able to just like pick out this is what I'm feeling, which actually creates some diffusion that creates some separation. And there's something really magical about people being able to figure out like going from, "I feel bad" to "Oh, I'm sad. I'm sad because this the, you know, my boss yelled at me and that sucks." Right? Maybe it's normal to feel sad when my boss yells at me or whatever. Jen: I do this with my kids like they, but Brene Brown talks about how she has some research that shows, she's done research on college age students and they can only, they only identify three emotions and that's like- Josh: Really? which ones? Jen: Happy, mad and sad. And so she talks about how, you know, in order to be in touch with our emotions, we need to be able to identify emotions and we just aren't taught how to identify. I do this with my kids and we, like, talk about all these different range of emotions outside of mad, sad and happy because you can feel so many different things. But it's so interesting for you to talk about this because I also see so much child psychology stuff that actually applies to two grown ass adults as well. Like we need, you know what I mean, because we weren't taught in childhood. So it, yeah. So it needs to be brought in. Josh: All of the emotion regulation stuff for kids I use with adults. It's awesome. Annie: There's Josh Hillis' coaching secret. Kid psychology. Jen: Go grab your feelings wheel. Annie: Where are you on the spectrum? Jen: Next time Lauren has a meltdown I'm going to say "Go grab your feelings wheel." Annie: All of our slack community, our corporate communication is now going to be, "I feel because" statements, so Josh, you, so you create some distance, you identify some feelings or what your feelings, you get really clear on what that is and then you can eat the thing if you want to still, right? Josh: Yeah. And so they're sort of like these, like, kind of guideline-y things, like waiting 10 minutes. Another like guideline-y thing that I'll start off with, like, either don't do it, do whatever you want. If someone is eating the thing every time then we'll add in like a 50% guideline where 50% of the time they'll eat the thing and 50% of the time they'll find something else. And again, that's just sort of like some training wheels to have to like think about it and choose and be like, you know what, I ate the thing three days in a row. Maybe today I should try going for a walk. Jen: Right, right. Annie: And the point is to really just disrupt the autopilot, right? Josh: Yeah, yeah. Jen: Yes. Right. And also sounds like scaling a little bit. Josh: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Jen: Rather than, again, what we see big, big, big problem is people try to go from zero to 60 and it never works. It never works. And Lauren had a really good idea for bridging the emotional eating gap. She said if eating a piece of cake is your coping mechanism, try pair it with a bath, go eat your cake in the bath, and then eventually your association can be more, can become about the bath and then remove the cake and then have it be about the bath, right? It's about scaling that towards a healthier coping mechanism. Josh: That's awesome. Jen: Yes. Go Lauren. Annie: Are there, Josh, do you have any other ways to create distance or to even just feel comfortable feeling your feelings without food? Josh: Yeah. So there's always going to be three different things that you can do, three different effective things. One is you can create distance and just sit with it. Like, just accept this is normal. Right? And a lot of times that's really cool. If you're in a situation where you can't do something else, right, Like maybe you're at work and you've got to keep working, and so what you do is you notice those feelings and you come back to being present with your work or your family or whatever's going on around you. Like, you actually get present with that. The other thing would be to have a menu of different self care things that you can do. And so you notice you have those feelings and then you take a walk or do some deep breathing or take a bath or read a book or whatever. At this point I think I've got a list of like 70 different things in like 15 categories. Jen: I want to just say one thing for the moms who listen and the dads, when I find myself emotionally eating, my kids are often a trigger and alternative forms of self care are not available to me. Right? Like I can't go take, I can't check out of parenting and go take a bath or even go meditate or whatever. And so sometimes I'm just freaking eat a bowl of chips. One thing I would say is that I've scaled it from diving headfirst into a bag of chips to like getting out a little bowl and putting some chips in there and then just eating them and going, "Yeah." So I would say like, I mean my emotional eating skills are not, but they have greatly improved over the years. Josh: Well look at that. So there's a couple of great things about what you just said, right. Number one, parenting is a great context for, like, being able to just, like, accept it and be there. Also, you, you did look at, like, separating out the chips and, like, having a certain amount versus just, like, grabbing from the bag, which works for all kinds of treats all across the board. And then the third thing that that brings up is, it's actually, and this is another thing that's such an important thing. It's normal to eat to chill out your emotions sometimes. Jen: I totally agree. I don't think the goal is like 0% emotional eating. It's like, really, how often are you doing it and how, what is the loss of control there, right? Rather than- Josh: Yeah. Jen: Like emotional eating isn't all bad and it's like, really? Is it? Josh: Yeah. Jen: A couple of chips when my kids are losing it? Is that so bad. Annie: Is it problematic for you? Josh: Oh, and it's one those things where like, like the goal is psychological flexibility. So psychological flexibility is the ability to make different choices. Right. It's just an ability to make different choices. Jen: Right. Right. Josh: Like, never emotionally eating is rigid. Jen: Totally. Josh: Always having to, like, where most of my clients had is they've got like a rule, they don't, they don't say it as a rule, but like they've got a rule that if they have emotions they eat, totally rigid. Jen: Right. Josh: If we can get in the middle we're rocking. Jen: Totally. Yes. Annie: That sounds so familiar, Jen. Jen: The messy middle, yes. That's where we like to hang. Josh: I loved that so much. That is like the best phrase in the world. Jen: Brene Brown, I've brought her up a few times now. You can see I really like her. Josh: I like her too. Annie: But- Jen: Yeah, she talks about being in the messy middle, but when you're in the messy middle you get arrows from both sides, which we have also experienced as well. Being in the messy middle between hardcore health and fitness and hardcore body positive anti weight loss. Hanging out in the middle is can be quite lonely and you can get arrows from both sides. But- Josh: I get that. Annie: Okay. So say you're finding yourself, like, face deep in, like, cake or chips or whatever it is and you're, like, you have this, like, moment of, like, "Whoa, what am I doing?" Josh: Yeah. Annie: Like you're like in this middle, like an emotional eating extravaganza. Josh: Yeah. Annie: What do you do? Do the same thing, like, create some distance still or are there different rules? Josh: Oh no, that's, you nailed it already. It's the exact same rules. So, you notice you're in the middle, you separate yourself from it geographically. You give yourself some time to think about it. You do some sort of diffusion exercise. Whether that's, well, where I talked about, like, a feelings wheel, but also I've got some clients that will journal, they'll write out everything that they're feeling and just writing it out gives them a lot of distance. The biggest thing my clients use actually a metaphor called "let the monsters ride the bus" so we might as well dive into that now. So, it's a really, really common act metaphor and the metaphor is, you're a driving a bus and sometimes you get really cool passengers that get on the bus and they're like, "hey, you're great and we love you and high five!" Like that. Josh: And they get on and off when they want. And sometimes they get monsters, they get on the bus, they're like, "Hey, you're ugly and stupid and you always do it wrong" and they get on and off when they want. And your job as the bus driver is to drive the bus and you could always make a left turn towards, like, numbing and controlling, or you can make a right turn towards your valued actions. And what this allows people to do is allows people to realize like, "Hey, I've got these monsters that will get on, will ride along with me and I can still take a right turn towards my values. Even with the monsters on the bus. Like, my job isn't to get rid of the monsters. It's not to not have monsters. It's to let the monsters ride the bus." Josh: And my clients have identified, they almost always have identified, like, what their most common monsters are. And my clients get to a point where they have identified the monsters that they have in the middle of emotional eating. I've got a lot of clients that have a monster that's like, "One more will be fine, one more will be fine, one more will be fine." Or they might have a monster that's like, "You've already ruined it. Might as well go for broke. Let's start again Monday." And so when they have those feelings, again, they don't treat them as true. They don't treat them as, like, them. They're like, "Oh, there's that monster again. And that guy can ride along the bus. And I know that when I'm in, when I catch myself in the middle, my monsters are super loud." Annie: Are you familiar with Pema Chodron's work? She's a Buddhist nun. Josh: No. Annie: This is feels very similar because you have in that blog post, and I think, I think I pulled this quote from your blog posts it said, "The irony is that when people accept cravings as being normal" or I'm assuming these uncomfortable emotions, "they have an increased capacity to tolerate cravings" and that's just very similar to her work. That's like you actually, by just acknowledging the feelings and emotions you suffer less, like, and that's, like, instead of trying to avoid it or like do all these things like this contortionists, like, "I'm going to avoid it in any way possible. I'm going to do all these things so I don't have to feel the thing that I'm trying to avoid feeling." If you just like feel it and like acknowledge it, like, "I see you, monster, you're on the bus, I hear you, but I'm not going to listen or I'm not, you know, whatever." Josh: Yeah. Annie: It's like you can still take action as you notice, what did you, how did you say, that aligns with your values? Josh: Yeah. Annie: Yeah. Even though you hear them, even though they're on the bus- Josh: You nail. Yeah. Yes. The same. And that's a really, really, really big. So, here's the paradox there. You're 1000% right. The paradox is that when you allow the monsters to be there, it is a lot less painful and it's a lot less intense. The paradox is that you don't want to approach it as, "I'm going to allow the monsters" to like force it to be less intense because then it doesn't work. And so that's not actually doing it. But what you're talking about, which is really cool, it's really, really cool, is that there's two kinds of pain. There is normal human pain, which is like the feelings and an uncomfortable thoughts that we all have. And then there's like the added pain that comes from trying to, like, control and fore and not, you know, and so, you do get to avoid all of the added pain and you're not the first person to be, like, you know, there's this Buddhist that kind of sounds a lot like these acceptance and commitment training people. Annie: Well I think it's, I think it's, I don't know if it's just the universe, like, I've been doing kind of this emotional work to like make these messages become really clear to me. But it seems like I've been trying to, and I've talked about this on other podcasts, outsource feeling good or feeling great all the time. Like you said, like we get this message that like, "Maybe I shouldn't be feeling these things" or like "Everyone else feels great all the time and they never have bad days" or "They never have self-doubt" or they never have body image issues. And it's like, "That's actually just not the case. Like, just acknowledging that like you get to feel all the things and you still live, we're going to be okay," like that. It's like, that feels really powerful to me. But I like that you say like, I love that analogy of let the monsters ride the bus. I could see that becoming a big phrase in our community. Can't you Jen? Jen: Yeah, I was already picturing it as a hashtag soon. Josh: That's awesome. Jen: The other thing is I think when I was hearing you say, Josh, is because we have this other guests, she's been on twice now. Her name is Hillary McBride. We have to, we're going to call her Doctor Hillary McBride soon cause she's almost done her Phd and she is also psychologist and she works in body image and she has a book called Mothers, Daughters and Body Image. And so she has sort of encouraged the same process as far as thoughts about your body, like kind of stepping outside of it. But, and then I think her version of monsters on the bus is to acknowledge the monsters on the bus. But to say, is this really true? Just that simple question, is this really true? And I just sort of have this vision of being a driver on a bus hearing all the monsters in the back, but being able to say, "Is that true? Like, do I have to do that? Am I, you know, am I helpless to this? Is that true?" And you know, the answer is often, like, "No, it's not actually true." And then you can kind of just, yeah. Keep doing what you were doing. Josh: Yeah. Jen: Yeah. Josh: Just to, like, it's, like, notice. Jen: Yeah, just notice. Yeah. Josh: Like it's, it doesn't, yeah. Cause we, it is so normal for us to treat it like it's true. Like it's, like, it's so true. Jen: Right. It feels true. Right? Josh: That's awesome. Annie: Okay. So Josh, we discussed, being aware, creating distance, normalizing the experiencing of different emotions. Is there anything else that comes to mind when I'm addressing emotional eating? And again, I do want to recap that this is like as you, as you said at the beginning, that those are tools that work for people that have emotional eating issues. If you don't have emotional eating issues then, like- Josh: You probably don't have to- Annie: Then it doesn't apply. Or what was the difference that you said? That thought control or thought suppression would work for people that,- Josh: yeah. So, here's where it gets really funny. Cause I got really spun whenever the research that thought suppression worked for cravings and emotional eating for people that don't have cravings and emotional eating issues. And but, like, at first I was like, "thought suppression is always bad. Like how does that work?" And so I actually talked to my friend, Amy Evans, who's this brilliant behavioral analyst and she's like, "Well, of course not because the function is different, right? So if the function of that controllers is trying to like push away these uncomfortable emotions and cravings, then it's like an avoidance strategy. But if you don't have issues with those, then it's actually kind of like, maybe it's just like conscientiousness, right? Like it's a totally different thing." And I'm like, "Oh!" So it's good to have genius friends. Jen: Right? So can you give us an example in context? So person A doesn't have ongoing emotional eating issues, so we're talking about, but then something, a craving pops up or, or they're feeling emotional and they're feeling some kind of urge to eat if they don't struggle with ongoing emotional eating issues, then suppression works. Josh: Apparently. Yeah. I mean I don't coach that, but in the, in the research, yeah. Jen: So what would suppression look like for them? Josh: Yes. So, I'm guessing if they didn't score very highly than it's just a simple guideline that they're just like, "Oh, I don't, I don't eat between meals." I don't eat from the, you know, which is, which is totally fine. Jen: Right? Yeah. We call these self-loving guidelines in Balance365. They're not rules. They're flexible guidelines that keep you in a place of self care kind of thing. Josh: Yeah. So like- Annie: Oh, sorry, go ahead, Josh. Josh: I was just going to say if someone doesn't score really high on cravings and they have a little craving, it's pretty easy for them to go like, "Oh, I'm not going to do that." Jen: Right. Josh: "If someone scores really high on cravings- Jen: Then it's a bigger deal to say, "No, I'm not doing that." Yeah. Okay. Annie: I think it's important to note though, as you noted, as we noted in the beginning of the podcast is that that can work for some people, but right now the majority of the health and fitness industry are selling thought suppression. Josh: Yeah. Annie: To everyone. Like, that is, like, the widely accepted common answer versus, "Hey, like, maybe this is normal." Jen: They're also selling emotional eating at any point as as unacceptable. And so, you know, a person who is has an emotional eating episode one day, that's, you know, we're trying to say in this podcast that that's not wrong. And really, if you don't struggle with emotional eating, whether you do or don't engage in emotional eating is not a make or break for anyone's life. Right. It's not, whether you choose the chips or don't, it's just not really an issue. Like it's really a small, tiny little rock that really, you know what I mean? Like we're talking about, there's people that have real loss of control that going on, you know, sometimes daily for them around emotional eating. So, and it comes down to the frequency. How often are you engaging in these behaviors and ultimately what does that end up? What does that look like for you? After three months, 12 months, three years, 20 years, right? Josh: Frequency's everything. Jen: Right. Annie: Josh, you're so much fun to have on our podcast. Do you have more? Josh: Can I throw one other thing out there? The other thing that, the biggest misconception that I've gotten when I've talked to people about this and I've got it so much that I want to make sure not to miss it. This is still a behavioral approach, right? Like they're like, "Oh, you're like deal with your thoughts and like that" but you still, like, you still have to clarify your values and attach behaviors to that. But it's like, so self love guidelines was that? Jen: Self loving guidelines. Josh: Self loving guidelines, or like kind of like more, more intuitive skills or like, all these different things. The whole point of all this is to be able to do those things more frequently. Jen: Right? Josh: Right. So, all of my clients, I shouldn't say all of my clients. The majority of my clients track behaviors, right? So they track how often they have like a mostly balanced meal or how often they have vegetables or how often they, you know, snacked between meals or how often they noticed their hunger before they ate or how, you know, like how often they were full and stopped and like, they track actual behaviors and things that we can count the real world. Monsters on the bus is another thing that they track and count how often they use it. They also track if they didn't need it, like, "Oh, I didn't need it today," but- Jen: Oh interesting. Josh: If they're like, "Oh, I didn't need it and I used it" or "I didn't need it and I didn't use it." Those would be different things and it seems really weird maybe to use like a metaphor as a behavior to track, but it works really well. Jen: So ultimately you're tracking, the behavior change that you have people track is not necessarily emotional eating episodes, but how they dealt with those, whether they dealt with it in a manner that is more healthy than bingeing. Josh: Yeah. Jen: Right. Okay. Josh: Yeah. And so that could look really differently for a lot of different people, but it's like how often did you use this metaphor? How often would you use a diffusion technique? How often did you use your menu of things you can do? Jen: Right, right, right. Annie: Great. So, so you're putting behaviors with it. That's great. Josh: That's what grounds it in the real world. Annie: Yeah. Josh: Otherwise it goes way. Jen: Josh had a thread on his page, several months ago where you said, "sometimes I think" as far as your weight loss clients, you said "If we changed nothing at all except working on stress reduction methods, people would lose weight without changing anything at all." And then I had mentioned or just sleep, like, just a sleep habit, which is, you know, kind of goes hand in hand with stress- Josh: So good. Jen: Isn't it? So it just sort of like, yeah. So imagine if people just, so what we find is people hyperfocus on food, like they just are hyper focused on it and if you zoom out and you get back, if you just laid your foundations for say stress reduction, better sleep hygiene, anything you identify that helps your wellness wheel go, the food just doesn't matter. People will kind of eat until they're satisfied. Do you know what I mean? Like it's often these, the overeating tendencies we have are often a result of these high stress, sleep deprived, poor coping mechanism, lifestyles that we're living, the rest of the overeating issue. You don't have to be so hyper focused on the food or crank the wheel to the right and jump on the Keto wagon or cause you're really never getting to the underlying issues of why you're overeating in the first place. Right? Josh: Yeah. With my most successful clients, all these things we're doing show up as self care. Jen: Right. Totally. Josh: And it's like, and then the people that struggle are the ones that keep trying to do it as punishment. Jen: The food, the food. Yeah, totally. Josh: And the thing about sleep is no one makes phenomenally great food decisions when they're exhausted. Jen: Nobody. That's right. Yeah. Josh: I will throw out there in case there's any people that work like swing shifts or anything like that out there. For a while I had a ton of clients that were nurses that worked overnight and so for them, a lot of it was just acceptance of every time their schedule shifted they were going to be like unusually hungry. And so that is workable. But for everyone else, if we can just turn off screens like an hour earlier, like, man, this all gets easier. Jen: Totally. We just interviewed a sleep doctor before we interviewed you. Josh: Oh really? Annie: Yeah. He said the same thing. Jen: Same thing. Our podcast is the best. Josh: Your podcast is the best. This was so much fun. Annie: Are you always this energetic? I mean, every time, I've talked to you twice in five years, like you always have such great energy about you- Jen: And smiling. You're always smiling. Josh: You're super great. It's fun hanging out with you guys. Annie: You are welcome back here anytime. Josh: Also, this is, like, my favorite stuff to talk about. Annie: So yeah, you are, you're welcome back here. Anytime. Anything, any projects you're working on that you want to tell us about or where can we, where can our listeners find you or keep up with your work? Jen: You're working on a million books. Josh: I am working on a million books, so, losestomachfat.com is still my blog. I still do celebrity workout stuff and emotionally eating research, which is now a weird combination. I've got two books coming out. Lean Is Strong is coming out at the end of this year. And then the untitled emotional eating book is coming out next year. And that's my big stuff right now. It's top secret. Annie: Oh, okay. Oh, okay. Alright, well thank you so much, Josh. Josh: Thank you. Annie: We will talk soon, hopefully. Josh: Okay, cool. Thanks guys. Annie: Thanks. This episode is brought to you by the Balance365 program. If you're ready to say goodbye to quick fixes and false promises and yes to building healthy habits and a life you're 100% in love with, then checkout Balance365.co to learn more.…
Join Annie in this solo episode where she debunks the three biggest exercise myths she hears as a personal trainer with over a decade of experience. The myths that are commonly accepted to be true often hold back from true enjoyment of exercise and leave them focussed on the wrong things. Annie sets the record straight and answers the questions on most women's’ minds. What you’ll hear in this episode: Are ab exercises the key to a six pack? Can you spot reduce fat? Which elements influence if you have visible abs? Does sweating help you burn more calories? Why we sweat Does strength training make women big and bulky? Benefits of strength training Resources: Can You Control Your Weight Podcast Episode Learn more about Balance365 Life here Subscribe on Apple Podcasts , Spotify , Google Play , or Android so you never miss a new episode! Visit us on Facebook | Follow us on Instagram | Check us out on Pinterest Join our free Facebook group with over 40k women just like you! Did you enjoy the podcast? Leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or Google Play ! It helps us get in front of new listeners so we can keep making great content. Transcript Welcome to Balance365 Life Radio, a podcast that delivers the honest conversations about food, fitness, weight, and wellness. I'm your host, Annie Brees along with Jennifer Campbell and Lauren Koski. We are personal trainers, nutritionists and founders of Balance365. Together we coach thousands of women each day and are on a mission to help them feel healthy, happy, and confident in their bodies on their own terms. Join us here every week as we discuss hot topics pertaining to our physical, mental, and emotional wellbeing with amazing guests. Enjoy! Welcome back to another episode of Balance365 Life Radio. It's Annie here, cofounder of Balance365 and I'm flying solo on today's episode. Today I want to debunk three exercise myths that I hear all the time. They're not only untrue, but they're flat out keeping a lot of women stuck spending time on stuff that doesn't even really matter, and I don't want that for you. So let's get going. Myth number one, are ab exercises the key to a six pack? Sorry to say that all the crunches in the world won't get you a six pack. Crunches may be the most iconic core exercise out there and yes, proper core training and strengthening movements do have benefits, but unfortunately the idea of spot reduction or the ability to lose fat in targeted areas through exercise is a myth. In other words, all the crunches, the situps, the planks in the world won't magically melt fat from your stomach unless it's also paired with a caloric deficit. If rock hard abs are on your wish list, you might want to also consider the other highly influential elements that can determine if you have visible abs like genetics and body composition. The truth is our genetics have a huge influence on whether or not we will have a visible six pack abs. While they may be possible for you, please remember that that doesn't mean it's possible for the next person to have them while also maintaining a healthy body weight. Even at my leanest, I've never had six pack abs. While we don't have control over our genetics and side note: if you want to hear more on how much control you have, check out our podcast on Can You Control Your Weight. You can tackle changes to your body composition, but here's the kicker. You're most likely to succeed by addressing small, sustainable changes to your behavior while keeping in mind where individuals lose fat first is genetically driven. Swapping in veggies for chips and adding in a few strength training sessions per week may not be as impressive as an overnight overhaul, but studies have shown that the fewer habits you try to change at once, the more likely you are to succeed in the long term. So slow and steady wins this race. Myth number two, sweating helps you burn more calories. Your workout left you drenched in sweat and that's a good thing, right? Or is it? Let's talk about sweating or lack of sweating really means in a workout. The bottom line is sweating is not a good indicator of an effective workout. Sweating is simply our way of preventing our bodies from overheating. When we exercise, our body temperature rises and as a response we produce sweat. As the sweat evaporates, our bodies cool down. But how much we sweat can be highly individual and influenced by many factors including external temperatures, humidity, how many sweat glands you have and your current level of fitness. It can be easy to connect sweating with calorie burn, but really sweating is more a reflection of how warm our bodies are, not how hard we're working. So please don't forgo workouts that don't make you sweat. I enjoy a good sweat session, yes, but I also enjoy deadlifting and when I'm strength training, I barely crack a sweat. Exercises like lifting and yoga may not result in puddles on the floor, but they have so many additional benefits that I don't want you to miss out on. So instead of worrying about the sweat, you might be better off keeping your focus on intention, the intensity and the enjoyment of your workout. And finally, our third and my favorite myth to debunk is "Does lifting weights make women big and bulky?" We could probably spend a whole podcast on the theories behind this and as a trainer with over a decade of experience in the weight room, people ask me this all the time. The short answer is no, lifting heavy weights won't morph you into The Hulk overnight. The truth is women typically don't have the hormonal makeup required to gain muscle mass quickly, but really adding muscle mass is generally a lengthy and intentional process that requires years of consistent exercise and mindful nutritional choices. What you won't ever hear me saying is "Don't worry, you won't get big" and that's because this response perpetuates the fear of getting big as if being big is something to avoid at all costs. Not to mention words like "big" and "bulky" are extremely subjective. Personally, I love big muscles, but I also believe that as women, we're the boss of our bodies. We are in charge of how much muscle we prefer on ourselves individually. Whether you love visible muscles or not, lifting weights has many benefits that women can benefit from, like increased strength and bone density, enhanced mood, and reducing stress. And that I don't want you to miss out on. We just debunked three of the biggest exercise myths I hear most common, and if you want to debunk some more myths or continue this conversation I would love to see you inside our free private Facebook group. Healthy Habits Happy Moms. Thanks for joining.…
Can you really control your weight? There are two schools of thought on this: one believes that nothing is within our control and the other believes everything is within our control. But what if the truth is somewhere in the middle? Annie and Lauren explore just how much control we have over our weight and provide helpful perspective on an age-old question. What you’ll hear in this episode: What studies say about how much genes influence weight What studies say about how much genes influence height Twin Studies, The Secrets of The Eating Lab and The Minnesota Starvation Experiment How we adjust our eating when we feel we are being observed The two camps: we can control all the things and we can control none of the things How much control do we really have over our weight? How your body responds to decreases in calories Ideal weight vs ideal weight range What happens when you try to “pause” on an escalator Process versus outcome goals How weight range relates to body composition Getting clear on your goals How your pre-disposed body type relates to your weight How to find your weight range Resources: 53: Secrets From The Eating Lab: Dr. Traci Mann Secrets From the Eating Lab Episode 9: Two Sisters, Two Bodies: Growing Up Together In A Body Obsessed World Episode 4: What A 70-year-old Starvation Experiment Taught Us About Dieting Body Respect Learn more about Balance365 Life here Subscribe on Apple Podcasts , Spotify , Google Play , or Android so you never miss a new episode! Visit us on Facebook | Follow us on Instagram | Check us out on Pinterest Join our free Facebook group with over 40k women just like you! Did you enjoy the podcast? Leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or Google Play ! It helps us get in front of new listeners so we can keep making great content. Transcript: Annie: Welcome to Balance365 Life Radio, a podcast that delivers honest conversations about food, fitness, weight, and wellness. I'm your host, Annie Brees along with Jennifer Campbell and Lauren Koski. We are personal trainers, nutritionists and founders of Balanced365 together we coached thousands of women each day and are on a mission to help them feel healthy, happy, and confident in their bodies on their own terms. Join us here every week as we discuss hot topics pertaining to our physical, mental, and emotional wellbeing with amazing guests. Enjoy. Welcome back to another episode of Balance365 Life Radio. Before we dive into today's topic, I want to share a super sweet review we got on iTunes last week from Blonde Lauren, which I promise it's not our Blonde Lauren. She says "This podcast is nothing short of life-changing. With all the negative information and images thrown at women in regards to our bodies this podcast is like a ray of sunshine. I listen to this podcast religiously as I walk the neighborhood and it always puts a smile on my face and helps me conquer the day. Jennifer, Annie and Lauren are so relatable and I feel like we were really friends and I just love that." Thank you so much. To everyone who takes the time to drop us a note in our email inboxes or leaves us a review on iTunes, we read them all and they all mean so much to us. Okay. Let's talk about today's episode. We have been talking about this topic in a roundabout way on previous podcasts, but we wanted to dive a little bit deeper into the topic. Can you control your weight? A lot of fitness professionals think you have all the control while some of them think this is a losing battle, why even try? On today's episode, Lauren and I discussed how much control you really have over your weight and I think you might be surprised. Enjoy! Lauren, how are you? Lauren: Good. It's us again. Annie: It's just us again, poor Jen is having some audio difficulties and she wanted to be here, but we are sticklers for sound quality on our podcast and it just wasn't gonna cut it, right? Lauren: Yes. She likes to compare her sound now to my sound when mine wasn't working because she thinks it was terrible. Annie: Well, you know, we've had this, I think we've talked about this on the podcast before, but sound quality. And I thought when we started this podcast, like you would just plug in a microphone and hit record and then you just piece it together. Lauren: I feel like it should not be this hard. It's really fun for us. Annie: It's really hard and especially because you and I have both moved and, maybe Jen's even moved, but when you move, like then you're changing a different recording location and that can affect the acoustics and so, yeah. Lauren: And then the technology on top of all that, sometimes it just does not work out. Annie: Yeah. But we're not complaining Lauren: It might sound that way. Annie: We actually, I really enjoy the podcast. I really, really enjoy doing it. But it's just been a little bit more difficult than we anticipated. So, and especially getting the three of us together in three time zones, like, you know. Lauren: There's always some disaster. Annie: Always. Lauren: The morning of recording. School's canceled or sick, a kid is sick or the heat went out, but we always figure it out. Annie: Yeah. We piece it together. Lauren: Yeah. Annie: We're scrappy in a good way. So we're talking about a really interesting topic and it comes up pretty frequently in our community and that is, can you control your weight? And I think it's really interesting because it seems like there's kind of varying answers to that question and it kind of depends on who you ask. But there's this idea that we can control everything, right? And we can absolutely control our weight. We have total control. On the other side of the spectrum there's this like, "No, you don't." There's people that say you don't have any control at all. You don't need to bother with trying to control your weight or manage your weight. It's just, it is what it is and you're just stuck with it. Whatever it's at and we wanted to dive into like what the real answer is. Do you have any control of your weight? And it's something that we've kind of, I feel like, talked about in a roundabout way with various guests on the podcast, but we haven't specifically addressed like this. Lauren: Right. This one question. Annie: Yeah. And on paper it seems to boil down to simple math, right? Which I think is where we get kind of the, "Yes, you can control everything about your body and your weight." It's "Eat fewer calories than you consume and weight loss will happen," right? And you'll get the desired outcome. And we have- Lauren: And we talk about that too, right? Like we talk about its weight loss does come down to calories in versus calories out, but that's not the whole story. Annie: Right. And we have professionals in our industry that will say that you just need dedication and self control and commitment and then you can have the body of your dreams, right? Like, whatever, whatever body you want, which I think is where we see a lot of the, I don't know if this is still a thing, I don't actually read these sorts of magazines anymore, but at one time, health and fitness magazines used to have like a celebrity on the cover of their magazine. It was like, here's the Jennifer Aniston Diet, or here's the Jennifer Garner diet or whatever. And I used to think like, "Oh, if I just eat what she eats, if I work out, like she works out, then I will then look like Jennifer Aniston. Lauren: Right. And, I can't remember her name. Do you remember the actress's name from that movie? Zack and Miri? Annie: I don't even know that movie. Lauren: Okay. It's a funny movie. I can't say the whole name of it because it's not appropriate. But she was on the Ellen show and, they were showing a picture of her own magazine and talking about like what she eats or whatever. And she was like, you know, it doesn't matter what I eat, this is genetics. Like, this is what I would look like regardless. I would look pretty similar to this. Annie: Right. Lauren: So, you know, people are congratulating her and she's like, "I didn't do anything special. This is just how I'm built." Annie: Yeah, exactly. But you're jumping ahead of the outline. Lauren: Oh, I'm sorry. Annie: Okay. I guess we can sign off now. No, we'll use that as a great segue because it does, it sounds really easy on paper that if you just do what she's doing or, you know, I think, yeah, I get questions, you know, like about my arms. Like what, what arm workouts are you doing? Lauren: Yeah. Annie: It's genetics. Like, maybe years of softball has played into this but it's where I carry my fat. It's how easily I build muscle. And, I think, it's known that our genes control or have an effect on our weight, but it's a little bit, we've been a little bit gray on how much control. Lauren: Right? So we have, like you said, the two camps, the "you have total control" and "you have no control." And surprise surprise, we fall somewhere in the middle. Annie: Yeah. And if you listen to Traci Mann's podcast, which if you haven't listened to it, we'll link it in the show notes. It is a wonderful podcast. She is just a wonderful woman professionally and personally. She's just a good human. She wrote the book The Secrets of the Eating Lab and inside there she compared, she shared a study and it compared the weight of more than 500 adopted children with their biological parents and their adoptive parents. And so this, the idea behind the study was that if learned eating habits, if you could just willpower and self control and you know, do all the things, if learned eating habits have more of an impact on weight then the children should have a weight that mirrors more like their adoptive parents and if genetics had more of an impact, then it should, their weight should be closer correlated to their biological, their birth parents. But what they found was that the children's weight correlated strongly with the weight of their biological parents and not all with the weight of their adoptive parents, which I think is fascinating. Lauren: It is fascinating. Annie: And additionally, a study also she shared in the science, studies, Secrets from the Eating Lab, study from the Secrets of the Eating Lab. They did a study of identical twins that were raised in separate homes, which I think is like interesting enough that there's twins that were raised separately enough to study. Lauren: Can we get the story behind that please? Annie: But there is, there were enough studies, as a way to make sure that they didn't share the same eating environment. Right. So it was a way to tease out that environment was a role in this study. The study looked at 93 pairs of identical twins raised apart and then a 154 pairs of twins raised together. And the results showed that the weights of the twins, whether they were raised together or apart were highly correlated, which again goes to show that our genetics, our biology has a large impact on our weight and those studies and in addition with some other studies what largely contributed, to scientists concluding that our genes account for about 70% of the variation in people's weight. Lauren: Right. Which is huge. Annie: Which is, yeah, which is huge and I don't know, some of you may be listening in and think that that's way more than you anticipated and some people will be like, "Oh maybe I have a little bit more control than I thought." Like it kind of depends on where you fell on that spectrum. If you were like, I can control all the things and, and get whatever body I want if I just have enough self willpower and dedication and self control, this might be shocking news for you. On the flip side, if you were like, I don't have any control, I'm stuck. I come from a long line of people that look like x, y, z. This is just as is what it is. You might have a little bit more wiggle room than you thought. Lauren: Right. So you have about 30% of your body weight is in your control. Annie: Yeah. Lauren: Is what this is basically saying. Annie: And what I think is interesting about this is, Traci Mann also shares, I mean obviously we're not researchers, we're not scientists. So we're pulling this information because we are evidenced based. We don't want to just feed you information because it sounds convenient or because it works for our philosophy or our brand. But for reference she also compare us that genes play about an 80% role in height. And I think that's such an interesting study because you don't see anyone being like, "Oh, I just wish I could, if I just had more self control or willpower, I'd be taller." Lauren: I could get taller. Annie: Yeah. But so often we see people talking about their weights like that. Like, "Ah, I just, I need to quit being lazy or I just need to get my butt to the gym. And then I, you know, I'd get rid of this, you know, fat on my hips or whatever," you know, but you don't hear people talking about their weight or their height, like they do their weight, but it's pretty comparable in how much control we have. Lauren: Right, right. A little less in height. But still really close. Annie: Like you're not over there trying to be taller. Lauren: No- Annie: I mean, maybe heels. Lauren: It's interesting that both of my parents are relatively tall and both of my sisters are, well, they're all like more average size and I am smaller. Don't know where that came from, but it did come from somewhere. Annie: Yeah. Well, and you know, we kind of talked about this, how genetics in the two sisters podcasts where we had Janelle and Jen, cofounder Jen, had her sister on and they have very different body types and they were just, they had a really beautiful story about how Jenelle looked like all the women on one side of the family. And Jen looks more like all the women on the other side of the family. And I just, I think there's a lot of beauty in looking at your family tree and like seeing that. It's not just like body parts, it's like seeing your grandmother, your aunt, your sister, like elements of them. And I think that's just beautiful. Lauren: Not to throw a wrench into this discussion either, but now there is, sort of, more relatively new study called epigenetics, which is like how your environment can turn on or off certain genes, which is also really interesting and I'd love to, I haven't looked into this yet, but I'd love to kind of look into that too that aspect and that might be the 30% that you can control, right. I'm just making that up, but it's something to consider. Annie: Yeah. Yeah, for sure. That is, I've never, I don't even think I've heard of that term, to be honest. So I'm curious to learn more about that. Lauren: You know, it's relatively new. I think it's, they're learning more and more about it but there is some studies out there. Annie: Fascinating. Lauren: Yeah. Cause we have, we have a lot of genes and different things determine which genes get turned on and which genes don't. Annie: Yeah. Lauren: Just a little side note. Annie: Interesting. And I feel like I'm now distracted by that. Lauren: I'm sorry. Annie: Refocus. So our genes, just to recap that first point there, our genes have accounted for about 70% of the variation in people's weight. So, again, that's just saying that our biology, our genetics make up a lot of, determine a lot of how we weigh or what we weigh. But that doesn't mean that you're totally out of control. But additionally, our genes can even control how much weight we gain. And this was another study from the Secrets From the Eating Lab that there was even studies where participants were fed the same amount of calories, and the twins gained varying amounts of weight for it. So for example, pairs of twins that were overfed by a thousand calories. Again, if this boiled down to just math, if it worked out on paper, you know, a thousand calories equals this percentage of pounds of body mass gain a week, they should have all gained the same amount of weight. But what happened, pairs of twins that were overfed by a thousand calories a day gain to anywhere from nine to 29 pounds. So in other words, we aren't in conscious control of how our bodies use calories or energy, which I think is fascinating. And you know, if you're listening to this and you feel like I hear this a lot, women comparing like what they eat to their girlfriends or what they eat to the men in their lives and it's like, "Oh, I feel like I look at a Snickers and I gain weight" or you know, "My husband has trouble." I just met with a personal training client yesterday and she actually is having trouble putting on weight and I'm sitting here on the opposite end of the spectrum. Like, I have no problem putting on weight, it seems. Lauren: Right. Annie: And so I just think that that's again to show that our genes can even control how easily we gain weight, lose weight, put on muscle mass, don't gain muscle mass. Lauren: It's super interesting too because we are still learning about how all of this works. Like even now, researchers are still asking questions and they still don't know everything about how all these genes play into weight and metabolism and metabolic rates do differ between people. I think it's, it's not as significant as maybe some people have been led to believe, like if someone has a fast metabolism but it can differ a little bit. Annie: Right. Lauren: Which is what's happening probably with, you know, your client who can't gain weight. Annie: Yeah. And there's so many factors to be considered like environment and like what they do for their, what their, like, habits are, and how their relationship with food and their relationship with exercise. So it's like oftentimes multifactorial. But in the studies of these two are really interesting, especially because we've talked about, we have another podcast, The Minnesota Starvation Experiment, you know, studies like that just aren't even allowed anymore because they're considered unethical. Like, and it can be hard to study people's eating habits. And Traci Mann talks about this in her book because the minute people think that their eating habits are being studied, they change their eating habits. They like get all self conscious and they start doing different things that they wouldn't normally do if they didn't think that they were being watched for eating. I mean, I do that when, like, when I'm out and I feel like, you know, all of a sudden I'm at this nice restaurant or whatever and I think people are looking at me, I'm like, "Oh, I better put my napkin on my lap and not spill and use the right fork and put my fork down between every bite. Breathe. Not just inhale all my food. Annie: Anyways, getting back to our genes. Lauren, this is something you've talked about a lot in our workshops and our podcasts and our program, but that your body has a pretty kick butt weight regulation system and that can often override conscious efforts to change your weight. So for example, you cut calories, your body may in response slow your metabolism, resulting in fewer calories burned or you ramp up exercise and your body secretes hormones to increase hunger, which happens to me all the time. Like I exercise, I actually get hungrier. And so I often eat more and you've talked about that before, that your body's like pretty smart like that. Lauren: Yeah. Well your body, its main goal is to keep you alive, right? And so when you cut calories or you're not eating as much, or cut calories drastically, I should say, because that's what most fad diets do, your body thinks that you're starving. It doesn't know that you are doing that on purpose and that you're going on a diet. And so it does everything in its power to help conserve what energy you have and get you to eat more calorie dense foods. So that's another big reason why you crave high energy foods when you cut calories, you know, because your body wants that energy. Annie: Exactly. And many dieters, I know I've experienced this, I'm sure you have too, have maybe experienced a feeling like your body doesn't want you to lose weight. Like you're fighting against your body and it usually looks like something like this. You cut calories, you experience some excitement and exhilaration of initial weight loss and that's followed by an increased drive to eat and/or not move as intensely as you have been, which leads to weight regain because you go back to eating the food you were eating or not moving as much. And then that's followed by guilt and maybe even this sense of hopelessness. And that's something that Linda Bacon talks about in Body Respect, which is another wonderful book if you haven't read that and she just note that that's because you can only cheat biology so long. Like as you were talking about, your body is trying to, it cares about you a lot. it wants to keep you alive. Lauren: And that's like the unconscious part of ourselves. I think it's the reptilian, it might be the reptilian part of the brain, right, that controls that. And so you literally don't have control over those things. Annie: Right. And Linda Bacon has this, I think it's really kind of refreshing, it feels like it just takes the pressure off of me personally. But she has the quote in her book, again, Body Respect that "Diet failure is no more a sign of gluttony or lack of character than breathing deeply after exertion indicates lung failure or shivering in the cold weather evidences weakness." Like that's, this is the desire to eat, the desire to not move as intensely, the weight regain, that is all what exactly what we would expect from someone that's dieting, that's trying to cut calories. This is what your body is made to do and it's trying to do this because it's what it thinks is best for you. And it's a normal and expected response. So, I guess what we're just kind of boiling this all down to say is that you might not have as much control as you, some people lead you to believe. And what we talked about in the Traci Mann podcasts was that you have a little room, a little wiggle room, and one of the things that she suggests, because I know some of you might be listening and thinking like, "Crap, I wish I had more control over my weight" and we don't want you to feel discouraged from making changes if that's what you decide. But Traci Mann really encourages people to have a weight range versus a specific weight. And, I think that that's a really great idea because so often we hear women that they have this like ideal weight and that ideal weight is pulled out of thin air. It might be their pre-pregnancy weight, the weight when they got married, the weight they graduated high school. It might not even be realistic. And to think that your body can sit at one stable weight throughout the day, the week, the month, the year is just not attainable. That your weight ebbs and flows throughout again, the day, the week, I mean, if I weighed myself in the morning versus night versus Monday versus Friday versus the first of the month versus the end of the month, I would probably get six different body weights. Right. And it could range, you know, and you know, fluctuate five, six, seven pounds. And that this is normal and especially seasons of life, you know, if you're, you've got to, you've just given birth or you know, maybe it's winter and you're not as active, you're not outside as much. Your schedule is really busy because you're an accountant and it's tax season and you're working more and not hitting the gym as much. It's normal. And for this reason, a range seems to be a lot more realistic versus maintaining a single number throughout the year. Lauren: Yeah. So if you just kind of are aware but also going with the flow, like if your weight is up five pounds or down five pounds and just being okay with it instead of again pulling back that pendulum cause that's going to start that extreme pendulum swing over again. If you can just, like Jen says in our workshop that we do, in her Mario Kart example, if you can just move the wheel slightly to the right or to the left instead of extremely turning right or left, you'll be much better off. And also, Traci Mann also talks about this weight range. So there's a certain weight or there seems to be for people a certain weight that is dependent, like we said on many different things that if you go below that, that's when all of those biological changes start happening. Like your appetite increases and your metabolism starts to slow down to conserve some energy. So instead of, she says there's a weight range that your body is comfortable at and you can make changes to get to the lower end of that weight range. And so that's where you have, that's where you can control. So you can't control exactly what rate, but you can control where in that range you say. Annie: And the beautiful thing about that weight range is when you find it, you'll often find that it feels effortless to maintain or that you don't have to work near- Lauren: or close to Annie: -as hard. You have the perfect analogy in our workshop, that we share every now and then about riding an escalator. And when you're dieting hard, when you're trying really hard to maintain a weight that's below that range, it often feels like you're riding, trying to go up a down escalator and like, you're working, working, working, working, working. And the minute you want to take a break or rest or hit pause, it's like you're right back to where you started. And the idea is that when you find that range, you can move it around, give or take a little bit, but it's not like exerting all of your effort, all of your brain power, all of your energy to achieve this weight, either above or below that range. Because she also found in that book, she also found that the opposite was true to that getting people to gain weight out of their range was also equally as difficult as trying to get them to live below the range. Lauren: Yeah. Annie: Yeah. So with that being said, another suggestion we have in addition to the weight range versus a specific weight is to focus on your health behaviors versus weight. And, we've said this for a while, that your weight is not a behavior and for so many reasons we can't always control our weight and trying to do so is really, really difficult. And one of the things Jen talks about too is a lot of this can boil down to are you valuing your weight or are you valuing thinness or are you valuing health? And, you know, and again, no judgment Annie: There's been, I spent a lot of my life valuing thinness. I wanted, I didn't care if I was healthy, I wasn't even thinking if I was healthy or what I was doing, the behaviors I was utilizing, the tools I was utilizing to get to a certain weight was healthy if it was sustainable. I wasn't really even concerned with that. I just was so focused on getting that weight or getting that look, my body to look a certain way that I kind of forgot about health unfortunately. And again, I could just, I have a girl crush on Traci Mann, I could just talk about her all day but at the end of that podcast, she encourages that if you're eating balanced meals most of the time, not getting too full, you're not under eating, you're exercising a little bit throughout the week, you're managing your stress that whatever weight you find yourself at doing those things is good enough. And I think that, like, gives me like a, almost, I can almost breathe like a big deep breath, like a sigh of relief. Like I don't have to do all of these things and then I'm validated by reaching that goal weight that like, "Okay, I did enough." It's like, well, let's focus on what, like, actually our behaviors are and if those encourage health, then we're on the right track regardless of what we weigh. Lauren: Right. When I was at my thinnest, my behaviors were not healthy. Annie: Right. Lauren: And when I was at my heaviest, my behaviors were not healthy. Annie: Right. Lauren: So, you know, focusing on those healthy behaviors, I have settled in the middle. Annie: Yeah. And, you know, one of the ways, we've talked about this before, one of the ways, I think the easiest ways to kind of what we're talking about almost is process versus outcome goals. And a lot of times women have outcome goals. They want to be the size eight. They want to be the size four, they want to be 130 pounds, 150 pounds, whatever it is. And those are all outcome based goals, which are fine. But I think what's really, really a key is to, if that's a goal of yours, to also think about how you're going to get there and write goals around the how. So okay, you want to run a marathon? Like how am I going to get there? You want to drop 10 pounds, how am I going to get there? The how is the behaviors. Lauren: Right? And if you're in our Balance365 program, you'll notice that that's how we set up our program, right? So when you're checking off your habits, that is a process based goal. So you're checking off whether you had that, you know, half plate of vegetables or quarter plate of vegetables or whatever your goal is, you're going to check off if you did whatever your movement goal is. And those are process goals and not outcome goals. Annie: Yeah. And those are things that we can control more often than not. Lauren: Right. Annie: Versus our weight. Like I can do all the right things and for whatever reason, still not hit that goal weight. And I see that happen a lot. We see that happen a lot where women are exercising, they're eating some more fruits and vegetables, they're getting more sleep and they step on the scale and their weight hasn't budged and they feel like deflated. They're like, "Ugh, this was worthless. I didn't do anything. I'm not any further along towards my goal." And it's like, "Wait a minute, you're exercising, you're eating fruits and vegetables, you're sleeping more, you're doing all these really great things for your health and your body. Like, don't throw the baby out with the bathwater just because you didn't lose a pound." Lauren: Right. Annie: The last point I want to make when it comes to, can you control your weight? And I just, this has been absolute ultimate freedom for me is to accept the body type you have and work with it, not against this. And we oftentimes make the comparison between Jen's body and my body because Jen and I are pretty close in age. We've both had three babies. We're both personal trainers. We're about the same height, but there is probably, I don't know what she weighs now, but, there's probably about 50 pounds, 40, 50 pound difference between the two of us and for Jen to look like me or for me to look like Jen is just, like, ridiculous to think that that could happen. That's kind of what, going back to what we were talking about it at the beginning of the podcast about, you know, to think that I could just diet like Jennifer Aniston and therefore look like Jennifer Aniston is just absurd. Right? Lauren: Right. Yes. Annie: But honestly, this has given me, accepting my body type has given me so much peace of mind and like, I can just own my big thighs and my broad shoulders and I don't feel like I have to, like, whittle them down because I'm not, like, I'm not going to, I can, again, like Traci Mann says, I can maybe be a little bit heavier, a little bit lighter within that range. I'm still going to have thick thighs. Like it just, you know, and for a girl that her first diet and exercise book was Thin Thighs. Like, that's all I've ever wanted was the long lean legs. My mom had long, beautiful lean legs and I was like, "Why didn't I? Why did I get my dad's legs?" But now that I'm like, "Okay, I'm going to have thick thighs and that's just the way it is and this is what works for my body and Oh, guess what? They can actually be a really powerful asset in the gym. And these are some aspects that I like about them." I don't love everything about them. That's okay. But again, like I don't love everything about my kids all the time. I still love them. Lauren: Right. Annie: It's like, it doesn't have to, like, you don't have to love every single aspect of your body to love it as a whole, which is something we've also talked about. But, making peace with like, "Okay, I've got a big nose or I've got small hands or big trap," I don't know, whatever it is that you feel like you've been working to fight, like, making peace with that has been really, really impactful in my body acceptance journey. Lauren: Yeah. And one thing I want to circle back to because, I was going to mention this too and you mentioned it and I think it can be really powerful for people, is taking your body type, right? Cause like we have mentioned multiple times in this podcast, you can change a range of your body, your body fat, your weight, but you're not going to change your body type, like that is not going to change. So looking at your body type and think you can think about like, okay, so what is with this body type? Like what am I going to be good at? What does my body type give me an advantage in? And like for Annie, that's like weightlifting and powerlifting and being strong and so you can look at what is that for you. And it might help with this acceptance piece and this body love piece because it's not all about what you look like, but at the same time being, having your body help you be good at something can be really empowering too. Annie: Yeah. That's, we say when you look at your body like an instrument instead of an ornament. Lauren: Yeah. Annie: You know, what? Like, okay, what does, you know and being grateful for what my body does allow me to do or can help me do, can also be really, really special. But, I think that that's, you know, there's a lot of ways you can work on self love and body acceptance, but, that has been really, really powerful for me to just say like, "This is my body and it's, you know, maybe not what I've spent a lot of my years working towards. But like it's, it's still pretty great. It's not better or worse than any other type of, than your body, then Jen's body, than Jennifer Aniston's body, like this is my body and I'm going to take care of it the best way I can, like, thick thighs and all. Lauren: And you know, it's, it's funny because there are a lot of women out there who idolize your body type. Annie: I know. Yeah. That's been, so people, the funny thing is, is this happens to me a lot, which I love, I'm appreciative, but women will comment on the things that like I feel the most self conscious about. You know, like, oh, I, you know, or the funny thing is about my arms. I'll get a lot of comments about my arms. And it's like, well, if you look at the back of my arms, they're covered in stretch marks and it's, which I'm fine with. I again, I've made peace with, it's like I had stretch marks way before pregnancy. I had stretch marks on my arms and my hips when I hit puberty, I just, you know, just genetics and growing and- Lauren: I do too, I have them on my legs. Annie: Yeah. And I think it's just so interesting. And I do this to other women. Women can see beauty in my body or find appreciation in my body or aspects of my body. And then the same elements on their body, they hate on, they berate themselves, they have shame about, and it's like, "Hey, you know what? We all have a lot more in common than we probably think we do stretch marks and cellulite and pimples and gray hairs and wrinkles. And should I keep going?" Lauren: All of it. It's all normal. Annie: It is all normal. If you have a body, you probably have a lot of that or all of it. Some of it. If you have none of it, then that's cool too. Lauren: That's fine too. We love all bodies. Annie: We do. We are pretty inclusive here. So anyways, so I just want to recap. You know, it boils down to what Secrets from the Eating Lab Traci Mann showed, that Linda Bacon and Body Respect has done some extensive research on is that our genes and biology play a pretty big role in our weight. And it's not as simple as you can control it all and you can have the body you want. It's not as simple as you don't have any control at all. It's somewhere in the middle. And what we would encourage you to do is find the weight range that you can live your best life at, your healthiest life at, where you aren't working tirelessly to, you know, maintain a certain weight that's above or below that weight range that allows you to do the things, the activities, the behaviors that you want to do and feel good about yourself. Lauren: Can I add one more little thing? Annie: Absolutely. Lauren: Can we talk for just a second about body composition changes? Because this is a hunch I have because I don't think any studies have been done. I asked Doctor Traci Mann on that podcast, and I don't, I don't know of any studies that have been done, but this weight range seems to be not totally, like it's weight, right? It's not just like a fat percentage range, right? Like we have seen people change their body composition and their weight stays the same. And, so I was talking with someone in our Balance365 program last week, who was worried about working to, she wanted to lose weight for many reasons and different reasons, health reasons, and just not feeling comfortable in her body, right. And, but she was put off by this whole weight range topic. Like "Should I even bother?" Was like the kind of talk we were having. And one thing is acceptance, doing your healthy habits, your behavior-based goals. And then also I think for a lot of people, something really important is building muscle, is keeping your muscle. And I know Annie you have experienced with that, even more than I do if you want to just talk about that. Annie: Yeah. Well, my weight range, has, I guess since since I've quit dieting, which has been six, seven years, it's been a process of over the course of six, seven years, has stayed probably within 10 pounds. But I think, I've also had, you know, some babies in there, my body composition within that 10 pounds has changed pretty dramatically. And, you know, I attribute, so when Dr Traci Mann is talking about a weight range, I feel like that is absolutely me. For me to drop below my, that 10 pound weight range, it takes a lot, a lot of effort and I cannot sustain, I've tried it many times, just more just as an experiment. I've had some performance goals that I've had a hunch that maybe if I were a little bit lighter doing things like Crossfit, gymnastics would come more easily. I just can't do it. Like, and I shouldn't say I can't, I'm not willing to, to make the sacrifices and the changes that would go along with achieving that weight loss, at least not in this point in time. And I say that very objectively, I'm not, I'm not emotionally tied to my weight anymore. But my body composition has changed quite a bit. And I would say, although my weight is in the same range, my body looks different. I have considerably more muscle and less fat. Lauren: And I would echo that too. I'm about almost a year and a half postpartum and I am sort of getting to the lower end of my weight range. Like I can just tell based on my past experiences and you know, and, but my composition is different because I have not been working out as much as before I got pregnant. Right. Because I had a baby and a lot of things have changed and I've been doing the minimum exercise that, you know, I've just been doing what I can and that's good enough for me. But I know that if I want those body composition changes, it's not going to be me losing more weight. It's going to be me adding more muscle, pretty much. Annie: Yeah, absolutely. Which, you know, just in my experience when a lot of women come to me and they say they want to lose weight or they want to look more muscular or they want to look like they lift, that's something I hear common. You know, I just, I want to look like I lift, I want to have more muscle. What they mean is they want more muscle, less fat, not even necessarily weight loss. They and that's, you know, to each their own. But that's me, that's, you know, I really don't care what the scale weight says. I want to be able to do the things that I want to do in the gym and do the activities that allow me to play with my kids and go skiing and, you know, have the stamina and the energy and do fun tricks to with the kettlebell. Lauren: Yes, that's the best part. Annie: One arm push ups maybe eventually. But yeah. So, but I think that's just getting clear on what you really mean, you know, when you're talking about like, if the scale said x amount of weight, would that really change anything if you look the same or, you know? Lauren: No. Annie: Yeah, it wouldn't. Yeah, that's a good point. Lauren: Yeah. So I just wanted to add that little caveat because I've heard people in the interwebs, I've read conversations about this being a negative thing, right? This set weight range and it doesn't have to be, it doesn't have to be a negative thing. One, It gives you a lot of freedom, right? When you realize, like you had said, it's not all on you, like you can try as hard as you can try, but you're not going to change your body type. But also you can, even though if you may not be able to change your weight any further, you can change your body composition if that's a goal of yours. Annie: Absolutely. And yeah, I really side on the, like, if you feel like you've been dieting and your body is really, like, fighting you because it's, you feel like you're hungry all the time or you don't have a desire to get up and move or exercise because you don't have any energy or your sleep is crap. Like these are things that we would expect and that's normal. And to me that's like, "Oh good. It's not me. It's everyone. It's, like, I'm not just lazy. I'm not just weak. I don't need more self self discipline or willpower." Like, that's, you know, I think that's honestly, I think that that's as a fitness professional, I think that's a lazy excuse to tell a client like, "Oh, this is your fault. You know, you did this, you just need to be more dedicated. You just need more willpower." It's like, if that's the only solution or the only answer I have for someone that's coming to me with some goals, that's like, I'm not a good coach. Lauren: Right. And this is where, you know, education comes in, right? Because for that specific, you know, for that personal trainer, it may be easy for them, right? Because that's their genetics and that's their weight range that they can easily maintain. But that doesn't mean that that's true for everyone else. Annie: Or fitness and food are their profession. And- Lauren: and they work tirelessly. Annie: They work tirelessly to be in the gym and they get a lot of movement because they're, you know, in the gym, from 8:00 AM to 5:00 PM working and helping people exercise and their environment is curated to support those goals. You know, that's, I would try to be really cautious about how I talk about my exercise because, you know, I find myself just with my job in the gym multiple times a week. So it's easy for me to show up 30 minutes early and get a quick workout. It's not like that for everyone. You know, I have a little bit of a leg up just because of my profession. Lauren: Right? Annie: Yeah. All right, good talk. This was good. Lauren: Good talk. Annie: Good chat. Lauren: We got a little off track, but- Annie: Well, let's, no, you know, sometimes it goes sideways but I think- Lauren: Hopefully they enjoy the conversation. Annie: Yeah. Well yeah, I mean if they made it this far. Lauren: Congratulations to you! Annie: You win! If you want to continue the discussion, if you want to, you know, revisit the podcast with Traci Mann, we did ask her like, "Okay, how do you find this weight range that's right for you?" And really what she's offered was trial and error. It was like, it's really person specific. There's no, like we can't offer a flow chart, you know, like, is this, you know, is this yes or no? That would be really cool if we could, but if you want help navigating and exploring like "Am I in a weight range that's comfortable for me?" Maybe it's a little bit higher than you thought or you want to move to the lower end of that weight range and you need some help with your habits and your behaviors. Please join us in our free Facebook group Healthy Habits Happy Moms, we'd love to help you. There's a lot of really great women in there, we're in there. Lauren, Jen and I are in there often answering questions and we'd love to see you in there to continue with the discussion. Yeah? Lauren: Yes, please. Annie: Yeah. Alright. Thanks, Lauren. We'll talk to you later. Lauren: Alright, bye.…
In today’s episode, Annie and Lauren guide us through five easy ways to simplify a fitness routine. So often we overcomplicate things and that leads to no workouts at all. It doesn’t have to be that way! With these practical tips you can make working out a lot easier and a lot more enjoyable. What you’ll hear in this episode: How we overthink food and exercise Does a workout need to be sweaty and exhausting to be effective? How to get started if you aren’t moving at all NEAT - what is it and why does it matter? Muscle confusion - is it real? The value of doing the same workouts repeatedly Finding the sweet spot between consistency and boredom Why you should focus on large muscle groups Do you really need equipment? Why bodyweight workouts are great “What do I wear?” and other barriers that are easier to overcome than you think Overcoming perfectionism and managing our own expectations How to build a backup plan The value of small, sustainable consistency over the long term Resources: Balance365Life on Instagram Cosmic Kids Yoga Workout Wednesday where you don’t have to get off the floor https://www.instagram.com/p/BrAu5OLHcQj/ ) Learn more about Balance365 Life here Subscribe on Apple Podcasts , Spotify , Google Play , or Android so you never miss a new episode! Visit us on Facebook | Follow us on Instagram | Check us out on Pinterest Join our free Facebook group with over 40k women just like you! Did you enjoy the podcast? Leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or Google Play ! It helps us get in front of new listeners so we can keep making great content. Transcript Annie: Welcome to Balance365 Life Radio, a podcast that delivers the honest conversations about food, fitness, weight, and wellness. I'm your host Annie Brees along with Jennifer Campbell and Lauren Koski. We are personal trainers, nutritionists and founders of Balance365. Together we coach thousands of women each day and are on a mission to help them feel healthy, happy, and confident in their bodies on their own terms. Join us here every week as we discuss hot topics pertaining to our physical, mental, and emotional wellbeing with amazing guests. Enjoy. Hey, hey, thanks for listening to another episode of Balance365 Life Radio. Today's episode is all about how to simplify your fitness routine. So often we see women with the best of intentions overthinking exercise, and it ultimately prohibits them from taking consistent action or any action altogether. If that's you, this episode is a must listen. Lauren and I give you five ways to pare down your approach to fitness so you can get in some exercise and get on with your day. By the way, on this episode, Lauren and I talk a lot about our workouts we share on Instagram every Wednesday. If you're not already, be sure to follow us on Balance365Life on Instagram so you can snag a new free workout every Wednesday. Enjoy. Lauren, welcome to the show. How are you? Lauren: I am good. How are you? Annie: Good. What are you up to today? Lauren: Just getting back into, like, work week because last week I think your kids were all out of school and my kids were all out of school and I was so happy to drop them off this morning. I feel like real life again. Annie: Agreed. The snow days. They are a fun surprise once in a while to like, "Hey, let's, like, go do some snow stuff" or- Lauren: Yeah. Annie: Like just chill in our PJ's all day. But I was ready to get back to the routine. Lauren: Yeah, we were off for a week and a half, so it was like almost another, like, Christmas break. It was like, "Ah!" Annie: Yes. Which ,when you're not planning for it and you're still trying to get all your work things done, it's like, it can be a little bit stressful. Lauren: Yeah. Annie: Yeah. So what did you do last night, by the way? You posted on Instagram a fancy photo. Lauren: Oh, we went to go see the Phantom of the Opera. Annie: That's fun. Lauren: In Detroit. Yeah, it was fun. It was the first time I'd ever seen it live. Annie: So you skipped the Super Bowl. Lauren: Yeah. Well when we bought the tickets we didn't know what was the Super Bowl. So it wasn't, like, an on purpose thing, but we still went cause we spent a lot of money on the tickets. Annie: Is James a football fan? Was he? Lauren: Not really, I mean he'll watch it but he's not like a big fan. So- Annie: I didn't even realize until the third quarter that the Rams are now in LA, not St. Louis. Lauren: Oh, I don't even know who the Rams are. Annie: Well, they used to be the Saint Louis Rams and then it was like the LA Rams and I'm like, "I thought the Rams were in Saint Louis." Lauren: So you can just move? Annie: I guess. I dunno, I'm not into pro football. Lauren: I'm in Detroit and the Detroit Lions aren't so great anymore. I guess they used to be. But they haven't been in a long time. So, yeah. Annie: Well, I'm in Des Moines and we don't have a pro football team. So college football is much, much more popular here. Lauren: Yeah, we have good college football too. Annie: So you and I are talking about fitness today, simplifying your fitness routine. And this topic kind of came to us because I think the three of us were discussing essentially how women overthink it. Everything- Lauren: Everything. Annie: Like nutrition and fitness. But we're going to start tackling fitness. But women overthink it and it's like they get so caught up in these small rocks and the small details that they almost become paralyzed and they, like, just don't do anything at all. And it's part mindset and part just like basic information on how exercise can look and can work in your life. Because I know, I mean, it's easy for me to say as a personal trainer, I find myself in the gym just naturally with clients or coaching class or whatever. But I realize that not everyone has a love for fitness or a passion for fitness like I do, which is why it's great to have you on the podcast, not to throw you under the bus, but you owned that, like, fitness is not like something that you just love to do. Lauren: It's the first thing that goes for me when I get in a busy season or stressed out and I'm sorry about my voice, I'm just getting over a cold. But yeah, it's the first thing that like gets chopped off for me. Annie: Yeah. Which I think is really common for a lot of people. Like it feels like, kind of almost like a luxury to some people, that if they have the time they'll do it. But oftentimes it's kind of a catch 22. Like you aren't going to have the time unless you make the time and- Lauren: Right. And like, I'll get in the habit and it'll be good. But it takes the longest for me, it seems like to get into that habit and then it's the first one that's the easiest that drops off. So I'm just kind of constantly going back and forth. In and out, which at this point with, you know, two little kids, I'm okay with that. Annie: It's good enough. Lauren: Yeah. Annie: Yeah. So today we just want to give you five ways to simplify your fitness routine and some of its mindset related, some of it's actual practical advice. But I want to preface this by saying that all movement counts, and this can be a really huge mindset shift for a lot of people in our communities. We've seen this. It's, what we hear commonly is, "Walking doesn't count," or "I didn't break a sweat so it's not enough or it wasn't, I didn't, I wasn't sore the next day, so it must not have been effective." And so often people think that they have to be drenched and exhausted and sweaty and on the verge of throwing up for a workout to be effective or for, to exercise to get any benefit out of exercise. And that's just not true. Right? Lauren: Right? Yeah. And I'll also add too, like if you're in a really stressful season of your life, like if you're newly postpartum or just, you're in a really stressful period, something like walking is actually going to be, can be more beneficial than stressing your body out more with an intense workout. Right? Annie: Absolutely. Yeah, they're smart, smart choices. And smart choices don't always feel the most physically taxing, you know, but they're still good choices. Okay, so let's, let's dive into it. The first suggestion to help simplify your fitness routine is simply to level up. And what we mean by that is you don't have to go from zero to 60 overnight. If you're not currently moving at all, even just five minutes is a step in the right direction. But what we see so often as people are like, "Okay, I'm going to, I'm going to start exercising and I'm going to do this thing" and Sunday night they like write up, this used to be me, so I'm speaking from my own personal experience. I'd write out like all these workouts, I'd write out seven days of workouts and it would have this like cardio element, strength element. And then I do a little stretching and I mean honestly I'd probably pair this with all of my food changes too and I'd have this little journal and look really, really great on paper and I might be able to do it for a couple days. But then it's like, "Oh my gosh, like, this is just too much. I can't stick with it." Or I was really motivated at the start of the week on Monday, but now it's Thursday and I don't want to get up early anymore and I'm tired and my body's sore and I can't sustain it. So I would just quit. And that's, we see that kind of pendulum shift. Like they pull this, you know, if you can imagine one of those pendulums, you pull that ball back all the way to one side and that's you doing nothing. And then people ramp it up and they let it go and they do all the things and then they just swing from nothing to all of it, nothing to all of it. And so if you're at a stage where you're not doing anything, doing a little something is a benefit. If you find yourself maybe a little bit more moderate exercise and you want to get some more benefit than you can level up, you can increase the intensity or the duration or try a new activity. But the idea isn't that you have to jump from, like make big leaps. You can just make small steps to level up your fitness routine as you see fit. Lauren: For sure. One of my favorite places for people to start that I like to suggest is if you're someone who's doing nothing right now, I like to suggest starting with something that takes no extra time, right? So, like, Simply parking in the furthest parking spot when you're going shopping or when you're at work and taking the stairs instead of the elevator and just adding those little extra movements throughout your day, they can make a big difference if you do them every time. Annie: Absolutely. This is, what you're describing is, I know you know this, just for our listeners that may not be familiar with this term, it's called NEAT. It's a non-exercise activity thermogenesis. And this is something we actually cover inside our Balance365 program because, and we can put this infographic in our show notes for you, but it's a little bit harder to describe visually over an audio podcast. But essentially if you saw the, how NEAT contributes to energy expenditure or calories burned it, it accounts for more than an actual workout more often than not. So in other words, all the daily movement that you do throughout the day, the chores, the chasing after kids, the picking up kids, hauling groceries, running up and down stairs, mopping the floors, doing the dishes, all of that that you do, actually all that movement that you do actually accounts for more energy expenditure than an hour in the gym more often than not. And, but so often people are like, "Ugh, you want me to walk around the playground while my kids are playing or swinging?" It's like, "That's not, like, that's not worth it." And actually it really is. It all adds up. Okay. Number two, this is one of my favorite ways to simplify your fitness routine and it's to repeat the same workout over and over again and changing up your workout every week or every day can require a crap ton of mental energy, especially if you're the one that's like dictating how you should change it up, which is what I was describing just a little bit ago. You know, every Sunday night I would scour Shape magazine and a Muscle and Fitness Her and Health magazine and like piece together these workouts and I'd be like, "Okay, I'm going to, I'm gonna do this workout and then I'm going to do this yoga workout and then I'm going to do this Youtube workout and then I'm going to write my own strength leg workout or whatever."And I would have something different every single day. And that can require just a lot of effort. And additionally, I know a lot of people have heard the idea of muscle confusion, right? Have you heard that? Lauren: Yeah. Annie: You've heard of it? Yeah. It's been kind of used as a marketing tactic, as a "pro" to, like, workouts that do constantly vary their workouts. Right? And I don't need to name any names, but I think you can think of what talking about and you might have heard comments like you need to keep your muscles guessing or you need to keep your muscles confused. And that doing so increases the gains, right? Like you'll get stronger, you'll get fitter, you'll get leaner faster if you keep your muscles guessing. But it's pretty much garbage. And in fact, in my personal and professional experience, the reason people don't get the gains thereafter is because they don't stick with anything long enough to actually get them. And science backs this debunking of the muscle confusion philosophy too because our bodies, specifically our muscles, respond to a philosophy or principle called progressive overload, which means that you train a specific muscle group or a movement pattern, progressively adding intensity or duration over a long period of time and so hard days are followed by easier days or longer periods of intensity or followed by longer periods of rest and recovery. But either way, to get better at something, repetition and consistency are key. So you don't have to expend a bunch of mental energy or even physical energy thinking, "I'm going to use kettlebells and then I'm going to do cardio and then I'm going to do strength and then I'm going to do some mobility and then I'm going to do all these things." If you really just want to get stronger, if you want to increase your ability to run, you just need to run, you know, like, run a little bit faster, run a little bit longer, you can vary it that way. Now on the flip side, I know some people are listening to this and they are going to say that repeating the same workout over and over again is boring. Lauren: I would say that. Annie: Yeah, which I totally understand too. And honestly that's one of the reasons I really enjoy Crossfit is because it has a lot of variation to it. They use a lot of different pieces of equipment. They train a lot of different movements. They vary the sets and the reps schemes. And I think it's really important that you find that sweet spot between consistency and boredom. So if you find yourself getting bored and then you're just not doing any workout at all, like, it's okay to switch it up. I'm not saying don't switch it up, I'm just saying it's not necessary to switch it up. Lauren: Right. Like if that's something that's keeping you from doing something because you think you have to find something new to do all the time. Annie: I mean, for me, for example, I trained powerlifting for almost five years. I squat, benched and deadlifted every week for almost five years. And yeah, that was boring. There were some workouts where I was like "Ugh, snooze fest, five sets of eight again or three sets of five again." But guess what? I got really good at squat, benching and deadlifting and, again, this is a, you don't have to, if you want to vary your workout, if that's something you like to do because it's fun for you and you can do it, great. But if you're feeling stuck in the overwhelm of, "Oh my gosh, I have to think of something every day new to do" and that's keeping you from doing any exercise at all, I'm giving you permission to just cut it out. Like, it's not necessary. Lauren: So something really important for me, which is, I think, what you're just talking about is, like, decreasing the mental load of my workout. So for me, it's, like, going to a class where I literally just have to show up and like, I don't have to think, I just go there and show up. Or another thing I've been doing since I haven't been going to classes recently is, just shameless plug for the Wednesday Balance365 workouts that we post on Instagram is I've just been doing those and we have enough now where I can do them, you know, Monday, Wednesday, Friday or whatever, and just cycle through them. And I, again, don't have to think about it. I just open the app, look at the picture and do it. Annie: Right. And I think if you pay attention to those workouts, you'll see that they almost always have some of the basic elements in there. They'll have a squat, a hinge, a core, a pulling variation. Like there's still some basic elements of a well rounded fitness program. Is it going to help you deadlift 315 pounds? No, but that goes back to our first suggestion to level up. If that's a goal of yours, then, then you're probably, you know, at a different space than a Wednesday workout. That can be a great supplement. But the Wednesday workouts are great for people that are like, "I don't know what to do. I just need someone to tell me what to do." And again, that goes back to why like Crossfit, because I train people a lot and I think up their programs really well. Annie: If I left up to my own devices to write my own program, I would be doing the things that I like all the time and not the stuff that I don't like and probably should be doing and need to get better at. And, I don't want to think, like, I'm just, like, "Just tell me what to do and I'll just do it." And so I can just focus on doing the workout, get in, get out and be done. Lauren: Yup. Annie: Okay. Number three, focus on large muscle groups can help you to simplify your fitness routine. And by large muscle groups, I mean compound movements. And what I mean by compound movements is movements that are using utilizing more than one joint at a time. So a lot of times I'll see kind of these, what I call bodybuilding exercises, where they're focusing on just one muscle group, which is great if you're a bodybuilder, but they'll do, you know, three exercises for a bicep or three exercises to work your quads or four exercises to hit your hamstrings from all these different angles. And again, that's great if you're interested in bodybuilding and isolation movements. But if you're short on time and you're looking for the most bang for your buck, you can either do a lot of exercises working one muscle group, or you can do a fewer exercises that recruit more muscle groups, more joints, like squats, deadlifts, pull ups. So again, that's why when you see going back to those Wednesday workouts, when you see those workouts, they're almost always compound movements, right? They're thrusts, it's a squat with an overhead press. It's a burpee. It's a RDL. It's a deadlift variation. It's a Kettlebell swing- Lauren: Walking lunges. Annie: Walking lunges, which is everyone's favorite, right? Everyone's like, "I hate walking lunges, that and burpees." Lauren: I'll take walking lunges over burpees any day. Annie: Maybe we should do both. Lauren: I'll take anything over burpees any day. And supermans or superwomans. I do not like those. Annie: Is that a shoulder thing? Lauren: I don't know. Annie: Oh, I like superwomans. See the reason why superwoman's, just a side note is, in a lot of, excuse me, a lot of our workouts is because I like to have bodyweight workouts for people that don't have access to equipment for whatever reason, but to do pulling exercises to work your posterior chain, to have like a rowing, pulling exercise with no weight, that's difficult to do. Lauren: Yeah. Annie: Like a lot of times you need weight and superwomen, which, if you're not familiar with that exercise where you lay down on your belly and you lift your arms and your legs, like you're flying like a superwoman, at the same time to work your backside of your body, it can be really beneficial. But- Lauren: I still do it, I just- Annie: You don't like those? Lauren: It's not my favorite. Annie: Oh, interesting. Lauren: Side note. Annie: So maybe the next Wednesday workout should be all of Lauren's least favorite exercises- Lauren: Yeah, burpees, superwomans, what else? I hate inchworms. Annie: Lunges. Oh, those are fun. And kids like them too. Like does Elliot ever workout with you? Lauren: Sometimes she does. She usually just takes my stuff and then goes and plays with it. Over the, I want to say winter break, the snow thing, school closing. I don't know why I can't think of a name for it. We actually started doing Cosmic Kids Yoga and she really likes that. Annie: Oh, that's fun. Lauren: Yeah. It's cute. Annie: I don't know if my kids would be into that or not. We should link that in the show notes. That's a cute, a fun way to get moving with your kiddos. Okay, we digress. Anyways, moving on. So focus on large muscle groups, compound movements. If you need ideas the Wednesday Workouts are a great idea. We also have a YouTube channel. If you're just looking for workouts. Balance365 on YouTube where we have a fair amount of free workout videos, which we take you through, start to finish. They're mostly under 20 minutes. I narrate all of them to give you cues and tips so you can follow along. You can press pause, you can write down the workouts and take them into your garage or your gym and do on your own. If you don't want to follow along with the video. But they're pretty good workouts. Lauren: Yeah, they are really good. I enjoy them. Annie: I mean, I wrote them, so you better agree. Anyways, okay, tip number four to help simplify your fitness routine is to get rid of the gear. You don't need a bunch of fancy equipment. That can be fun and it can make it really exciting and exhilarating, but body workouts are great. Bodyweight workouts are great, excuse me. They can be super effective, super efficient and minimal equipment works well too. I personally can get a heck of a great workout with just one kettlebell. So don't let this idea of "I need all the resistance bands, I need multiple sets of dumbbells. I need sizes of kettlebells. I need a barbell, I need a ball, I need a mat, I need a timer. You don't need all of that stuff to get in a really, really great workout. And in fact, I just did a bodyweight workout on Monday and I was sore. Now I say sore. That's not an effective way of deciding if your workout was great or not, but you can, my point is you can make body workouts challenging or not if you want. And again, I've been lifting for years and years and years and I still do bodyweight workouts, a fair amount or body weight movements, a fair amount. So, I think, I wonder a lot of times if people kind of poopoo bodyweight workouts or workouts with minimal equipment or workouts that don't have a ton of gear or equipment or cardio because they think, "Oh, that's not very hard or that can't be very hard if I'm not using a ton of weight." And I would challenge you to try it because they can be pretty difficult. And even, I'm just throwing this in there, cause I notice a lot of our Balance365ers do this, that even your pj's can double as workout clothes. And again, this is one of the barriers that I see women kind of get hooked up on is "What do I wear?" Or they're trying to wake up early and do a workout and they're like, "Ugh, I have to get dressed, find my clothes, find my sports bra, the right tennis shoes, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. It's just too much." And so we've seen a fair amount of women in our community just work out in their pajamas. Lauren: Yeah. Annie: Bra, no bra up to you. Whatever you're comfortable in. But especially if you're, like, working out at home, like, who cares? Right? Like workout in what's ever comfortable with you. Your gym might have some guidelines. I know at the first gym I worked at you had to wear a shirt and that sort of stuff, but get up and work out in your pj's or do a workout in your pj's right before bed. Like don't let that be a barrier to working out. Don't, you don't have to overthink like, "Oh, I don't have on the right clothes." And again, we've even seen women walk on the treadmill or take a walk in their work clothes over their lunch hour or in jeans, you know, that works and it counts and it's good enough. Lauren: Yeah, I wear, leggings most pretty much every day. So I just, I literally do home workouts just in my clothes. Annie: Yeah. Lauren: Like, you know, it's 15, 20 minutes and I'm done. I don't have to change my whole outfit and change it back. Annie: Yeah, half the time I don't even throw my hair up in a ponytail anymore. I'm like, I'm that girl. I'm that girl, I cringe to say this, but I used to kind of poke fun at girls that worked out with their hair down. I'm like, "How do they do that? Like how, like how, like aren't they hot? Aren't they sweaty? Isn't in their face?" And now I'm that girl. I'm like, "You know what? I have five minutes. I'm going to do a couple of movements as, until I run out of time and that's going to be good enough." I don't even put my hair in a ponytail, like, just go. Just move. Again. It all counts. It all adds up. Lauren: Yup. Annie: Okay. And our last suggestion is kind of what we've been talking about all along is to help you simplify your fitness routine, and this is definitely a big mindset shift. It's become one of our biggest mantras in our community is "All or something." And the all or something approach to fitness is life changing in my opinion. Because again, I think I've already said this, but women and men, but we work with women, women poopoo workouts because they aren't hard enough. They aren't long enough. They don't use enough weight. It doesn't hit all the elements of cardio strength and mobility. And as a result ,we say that's not good enough. So we just don't do anything at all. "It's not a perfect workout, so I'm not going to do it." And how many times have you let not being able to do the perfect workout keep you from doing anything at all? Right? Lauren: A lot of times. Annie: A lot. Lauren: Yes. Before the last few years. All the time. Annie: Yes. Lauren: If I look at my workouts from, especially the last year since I've had Benny, none of them are crazy intense or super long or perfect or the most effective that they could possibly be, but I'm doing something. Annie: Yes. And that's really all it boils down to. Like, you know, we've said this before in other podcasts, but people get so stuck in living in that all or nothing, they're either on the wagon or off the wagon. They're right, wrong. They're good, bad, black, white, that they forget that there's a whole host of options in between there. There's this big gray continuum in the middle of those two extremes. So as for fitness, it's like you're either not doing any exercise at all on a given day or given week or a month, or you're doing all the things. Like those are not your only two options. You can take a 10 minute walk or do three sets of glute bridges. I mean, I even wrote a workout for Workout Wednesday, we can reshare it, where I said, you don't even have to get up off the floor for this one. Lauren: I did that one. Annie: I know, I've been there where you're like, you're playing on the ground with your kids or you're laying on the floor or whatever and you just cannot be bothered. Lauren: There were superwomans in there. Annie: Glute bridges, clamshells, pushups. We can do all the workouts from the floor, but I imagined people just like slithering off their couch, like sliding to the floor. But again, is it, is it perfect? Is it the most intense workout of your life? Is it going to leave you so exhausted or you can be drenched in sweat? Are you going to be extremely sore? Probably not, but it counts. It counts. Lauren: And you know what? The benefits of exercise come when you do them consistently, right? So if you're like "Go hard or go home", well, you go hard for a week and then you go home for the next four months, right? Like that's, that's not really doing anything for you. If you were to take a walk every day for four months, then that would be, you'd be in a much better place. Annie: Right, or say you, I mean even just by the math or by the minutes, you say, "I'm going to do, you go really hard and you do 10 workouts over the course of four weeks," you know, five days a week for two weeks, that's 10 workouts. Or you say "I'm going to do three workouts a week because that's more sustainable for me, that's more enjoyable. I can actually fit that into my life." In the longterm over the course of six months, like we're looking at a lot more workouts and I'm guessing at the end of six months you're going to be a lot stronger. And in fact, before we started recording this, Jen had some audio problems so she couldn't join us today, but she was saying that she's currently getting, getting really strong and she's the strongest she's been in a really long time and Jen's owned that she's had periods of exercising kind of ebb and flowing, but she's been working at it for eight weeks and she joked about how like that's, you know, "I've been working at this for eight weeks now. Like, I should see all the gains, like how it's kind of a short period of time." I think a lot of people in mainstream fitness think eight weeks is a really long time. And in the grand scheme of things over the course of the year, eight weeks is pretty minimal. So you have to be able to think, like, what can I do for the long term? And over the course of eight weeks, 10 minute walks, that adds up a lot over the course of eight months. Like so don't poo poo exercises just because you can't get it all in. And one of the things that I stole from James Clear, we also have in our Balance365 program is to have kind of a backup plan. And one of my favorite "all or something tools is the if/then statement. Do you remember this? We've talked about this, right? Lauren: Yup, Yup. Annie: That, so what that looks like to me is, "Okay, if I can't get in my workout over lunch, then I will take a 10 minute walk before go home." Or "If I can't get in a full workout this morning, then I will do 30 minutes of it," you know? But like again, you have to, it's just a backup plan. It's to help you think of like, "Okay, I can't do this, but what can I do?" Not, "Well, I can't do this. I can't do anything." It's like, what's the something here? And you know, that's a really good example, Annie. A lot of times, you know, they'll be running late. This happens to me a lot. I drop my kids off at school and if we don't get out the door on the right time, then I'm going to be five minutes late for my class at the gym. And there's so many times where I'm like, "Oh, I'm late. I'm just, I don't, I shouldn't, I shouldn't even go." I'm like, "You know what? I can show up five, 10 minutes late and still get in a great workout. It's shorter, you know, I might have to play catch up a little bit, do my warm up, and then jump in. Or I might have to stay a little bit later, but I can still do something instead of just saying, oh, I missed it so I can't do anything." Lauren: Right. And I think having that if/then statement planned out in advance is also really helpful. So because for me, I know that when things aren't going my way, like when I'm rushed and flustered, that's not the time for me to be like, "Okay, well what can I do?" Like, I'm more likely in that moment to say "Screw it," but if I have this planned out and I'm like, "No, if I can't do this, then I will at least do this." Then I'm like, you know, it makes me feel that much better about doing it in the moment. Annie: Yeah. And let's be honest, like, if you're listening to this, you're probably a busy woman. You either, you know, whether you work or not or how many kids you have, like we're all really, you know, our schedules are packed as much as, as we'd like to admit that they've, like, we have time, like we have time to exercise but if kids get sick, school gets canceled, things come up, if you're like me, forget about projects that you're supposed to have done for Lauren and you're like, "Oh crap, I have to do this now." And like you said at the beginning of the show, Lauren, exercise is one of the first things that gets chopped off the list for a lot of people- Lauren: Yeah. Annie: But maybe instead of chopping it all off, can you just chop off some of it? You know, like, can you do the something? Lauren: Right. Annie: Yes. Okay. Let's do a quick recap. Ways to simplify your fitness. The first one was to level up. You don't have to go from zero to 60 overnight. You can just take small steps and just keep leveling up and up and up and up and up until you're at a fitness level that you're comfortable with. Step two, you can repeat the same workout. We debunked the idea of muscle confusion, that you don't need to keep your muscles guessing. And in fact, the opposite can be true, that consistency and repetition are needed to get #gains. Step three, focus on large muscle groups, especially if you're short on time. You can do a bunch of isolation exercises, which is great if that's the style of exercise you like or if you're into bodybuilding. It's not necessary though, which is why you see us using a lot of movements like squats, deadlifts, pullups, pushups. You can also get rid of the gear if that's keeping you from doing any exercise at all. You don't need a ton of equipment, your PJ's can double as workout clothes. You can use just one piece of equipment or body weight workouts, it all counts and number five, "all or something" your workouts, which means if you can't do it all perfectly, then you can do something, right? Lauren: Sounds good. Annie: Yeah. Lauren: Sounds like a plan. Annie: Yes. Like who doesn't want to go exercise, right? Like, let's go! Lauren: Says the person I know- Annie: I actually didn't exercise this morning. I took the day off and I am totally fine with that because rest and recovery is needed. So, I am walking the walk, right? Talking the talk. Walking the walk. Lauren: Yeah. Annie: Okay. Well, thanks, Lauren. And hey, if our listeners want to continue the discussion or if they need more information on a ways to simplify their fitness, they can join our free Facebook group Healthy Habits Happy Moms on Facebook, 40,000 women worldwide. A lot of them are already working on their exercise habit or working movement into their day through their NEAT and we would love to have you in there if you aren't there, right? Lauren: Yeah. Annie: Okay, good chat, Lauren will talk to you later. Lauren: Alright. Bye. Annie: Bye.…
The Member Spotlight Mini Series continues as Jen and Annie interview Beth, a long-time Balance365 members whose daily gym selfies help keep other community members stay motivated. Beth is one of the amazing women in the Balance365 community - tune in for her inspiring, down to earth perspective on healthy habits and the good that comes from them that goes far beyond weight loss. What you’ll hear in this episode: What was going on for Beth when she joined How Beth found the Balance365/Healthy Habits Happy Moms community Getting past when you get “stuck” The habit that made the biggest difference for Beth Meal planning for a season - Beth’s approach Why Beth does daily gym selfies How Beth found habits became wellness snowballs The role of mutual support between women on social media Feminism and weight loss The problem with goal weights Setting goals you can control vs goals you can influence Beth’s advice to anyone on the fence about Balance365 Beth’s advice to anyone feeling stuck about starting the program Weight loss of a byproduct and the other benefits of eating in a balanced way Moderation as a way to reclaim the body you were meant to have Balanced eating as a way to manage existing health conditions The role of the diet industry in weight gain Resources: New Jeans And Vacation Without Shame: Sarah’s Story Small, Sustainable Changes: A Balance365 Journey With Danica How To Fall In Love With Exercise, Even If You Hate It Vivienne McMaster Episode 21: Before You Delete – How To Handle A Photo You Hate Beth’s Instagram Learn more about Balance365 Life here Subscribe on Apple Podcasts , Spotify , Google Play , or Android so you never miss a new episode! Visit us on Facebook | Follow us on Instagram | Check us out on Pinterest Join our free Facebook group with over 40k women just like you! Did you enjoy the podcast? Leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or Google Play ! It helps us get in front of new listeners so we can keep making great content. Transcript Annie: Thank you so much for joining us for another episode of Balance365 Life radio. We are back today with our mini series called Members Spotlights. This allows us to introduce you to Balance365 community members who are just killing it inside the program so you can take their wisdom and stories and learn from them. They are busy women and moms just like you who are changing their habits, their mindsets and reaching their goals. Today you're going to hear from one Balance365 member who is determined to find changes she could make that produce results without taking over her life. Beth is a seasoned member of our community and is a self-proclaimed member of the slow starter team but since deciding to take action she has made great strides towards her goals including more balanced dinners and consistent exercise. I can't wait for you to hear more about Beth's experience. Enjoy! Beth, welcome to Balance365 Life Radio, how are you? Beth: I'm OK. How are you guys? Annie: We are golden, we're so happy to have you, we as in me and Jen. Jen's here too. Jen, how are you? Jen: Hi, good. Yes. Annie: We woke you up. You are in a beautiful house coat this morning. Lauren: My Instagram audience is quite accustomed to seeing this housecoat so all good, all good. Not ashamed! Annie: Now it's a signature look and full disclosure, I put one on my wish list. Jen: You don't have a housecoat. Annie: I don't have a housecoat. We call them a robe- Jen: That's bizarre. Annie: Beth, do you call it a housecoat or a robe? Beth: So I call it a robe but what I wear is a housedress. Jen: Oh, I love that. Annie: That's next level, is that like a nightgown? Beth: Yep. Annie: So Jen- Jen: That's my 1950s dream, like but with rights. Annie: I don't know how you can not get twisted when you sleep in house coats. Beth: I don't sleep in it. Jen: Sometimes I sleep in my housecoat. It depends what's going on in my life. Beth: I keep it next to my bed so I can throw it on when I have to go deal with things but no, I'm not wearing it to bed, no. Jen: No, I wear my nighties, they're these silky long things, I don't. I just, you should try it. Annie: No, I'm good in my tank top and sweats. Jen: It's like that meme that went around with the spaghetti straps and the boobs out. Annie: Boobs falling out. Jen: That is me sleeping in a tank top. Beth: Remember when we were like "We're going to stay on topic" Annie: I know that's what I was just going to say, before we started recording we were like, I was talking about how I am pretty good at staying on topic but Jen and Beth are chatty cathies in the most wonderful way possible, they have a lot to say and whereas like, I'm going to keep these ladies on topic and look at us now. Jen: I heard you going for, I saw you going for the B word there and then your lips changed to ladies. Beth: I really respect where they were going. Annie: You know what, the B word in my vocabulary is a term of endearment. Jen: Yes. Annie: But we have also labeled this podcast as clean which is very, very challenging for me so I feel like I deserve snaps for that. OK so, Beth, you have a long, long time member of Balance365 and you have actually been one of those women we've kind of consulted on across the years, I've called you personally and said like "Hey, what do you think of this? What's the vibe on this? What's the community feel on this? And you kind of been, I don't know, like a good sounding board because ultimately we're here for you and our community and you've always been really in touch with our community, so thanks for joining us on the show, it's like about time we have you on. Beth: Yay! I don't know what to say. I'm just happy to be here. Annie: OK. Well, why don't you tell us the Cliff Notes version of how you found Balance365. Beth: Sure, so my sister-in-law, who was recently featured on your podcast, Sarah, she added me to the public group without telling me and this is back in the day when you guys added people in like large groups and so one day and just all the stuff was in my feed. And I was a little bit shocked but it was a message that I really felt good about and it was close to what I was already kind of following in my own social media. So I was in the public group probably, well, you know, 6 months or so and then you guys had a, at the time again Balance365 was going all at once, people were going in groups and so I joined in September of 2016. And yeah, that's the Cliff notes version of how I ended up with y'all. Annie: In hindsight, do you think adding people to the group without telling them is a good start? Because that comes up a lot, like- Jen: That still happens. Annie: And then people, sometimes people are like "How did I get in this group and what is this?" Because our message is quite revolutionary and our opinions so to get and it's big, it's active in a really great way but as you said, when you join the group it can be a little bit like "Whoa!" Like. Beth: Yeah so I think that that strategy can backfire or it can go well, right, so I think for me it was great but I think sometimes for the community it's hard, like people adding, you know, kind of drive by adding their friends to the community, especially if your attitude is "My friend really needs to do the program because she's so crazy and won't stop talking about her bizarre diet, I'm going to add her to this group" like that's horrifying to the community, right, like, because then this person is in there being like "Let me show you my before and after, I lost 100 pounds in 4 months and I never ate any carbs " and you're like "Ahh!" Jen: Totally and then it kind of disrupts the community and some people feel upset even, because they say "I'm in this group to get away from that kind of stuff" Annie: And then the individual can often get defensive and- Jen: Yeah, it's really difficult. I think it's better if people organically find us. Beth: In general I would agree. Annie: Or you approach your person, your friend in real life and say "Hey I've got a group I think you'd really like, would you mind if I add you? Or can I send you a link to join?" Yeah. Well, I'm so happy that Sarah added you and if you haven't listen to Sarah's podcast. Sarah has such a wonderful story too. She's had so many wins in our group and you can find her podcast, we can put that in the show notes too, she's just a gem of a woman. Jen: I enjoy her. Beth: She's my fave. Annie: Is she your only sister? Beth: She's actually my sister-in-law. We're married to twins so I met my husband in college and then I set her up with his brother. We were high school best friends. Annie: Oh that's perfect. I see what you did there, you were just trying to curate your family with people you like. Beth: No new friends. Annie: I love it and now look at you, you're on a podcast with 40,000 women. OK. So, let's let's get to it. You joined Balance365 in 2016. You purchased it a while ago but honestly, as you have been open and shared with us in our community, that it took you awhile to committing to the process and since fully committing you've experienced quite a few changes including weight loss. Can you tell us more about your experience with that? Beth: Sure, so when I joined in September 2016 I was just finishing law school. And starting a career at 35 and I really thought, like, now I'll have too much to implement some habits and lose weight and that was crazy. I don't know what I was thinking. I was entering a new field I was going from having not work a full time job in 8 or 9 years to working 50 plus hours a week so like, it really was not a perfect time for me to focus on implementing habits but I just kind of slowly would implement, like, you know, one habit halfway for 4 or 5 months and you know, dabbled, I did a lot of dabbling. "Oh maybe this is the one! Maybe this is the one! Maybe this is the one!" And there is nothing wrong with that. I actually think that a lot of women when they join program they kind of need a time of doing that. Because they've been relying on programs that project, that portion of my growth. I was stuck there for quite a while, like just about 2 years. And for me that wasn't great, like, I think I was there too long. I needed to kick start something sooner and I think, I see a lot of women in our community who sometimes have that problem, like they get to this point where they're like, "I have to completely address my sleep problem before I can address anything else or I have to completely address this one thing that I'm worried about before I can address something else and for me, I was getting stuck there. Jen: We, it's sort of like, it's like you're waiting for things to be perfect before you can start or something like "My life must look like this and then I can start" and Danica addressed this in her podcast with us as well and I mean, she had the same realisation, nothing changes unless something changes and there is never going to be a perfect time. Beth: Yeah, I, you know, I think it was not the right time, like it was not a good time for me to start when I joined the program. I'm not sad that I did it when I did. I'm happy for the time that I spent allowing myself, because I think that's the other thing is I think some of the women come in and they're, some people who come into a group in any kind of group and they're like, I paid for this and now I have to do it, right? And I think that's relatively unproductive a way to think about things because this is a lifelong experience, right? I can change my habits from now until I die. I don't have to change them all right, you know. And so I think there was a positive to be had with sitting and being like nothing is really changing and that's OK but if you, for me I was starting to feel frustrated with that, that kind of for me was the moment of being like "OK" but then as Danica said, if I don't change something, nothing will change and so for me, some of it was just identifying what kind of habit I can change that would produce a change in my life but not take over my life. I don't want a program that takes over my life. I think that's really important to me. I can't think of anything less interesting than thinking about food and exercise all day and so I needed something that I could make small change and for me that was, I just planned my dinners and then I just ate what I planned. And it's so boring and so mundane but it's what I did and it immediately resulted in changes to my body. Jen: So you were, I guess, that would be your dinner habit which is just one section of Balance365 that we have you address and did it dramatically change what you were eating or how much you were eating or? Beth: So really it was a matter of just, I think it changed the macro makeup of my- Jen: Right, the balance of it. Beth: Yeah, the balance. I was already eating all the all the correct things, I just was kind of addressing, you know, how much protein I really needed at dinner. I was looking at my dinner as a whole instead of just like, well, here's the meat and your vegetable or whatever, like, I was kind of looking at it as whole, you know, like, "OK, what can I change? What will help me stay full? What will be satisfying? What will I be willing to eat? I am known, I suppose, in the community I meal plan once for a whole season because I hate meal planning, I hate it, I hate it, I hate it. So I meal plan at the beginning of a season and then we need the same 7 dinners for 13 weeks, which is not for everyone but it works for me and so by picking things that I actually knew I would eat and that were balanced I was less likely to be like "I don't feel like eating that! I'm just going to the drive through?" or I think one big thing for me is they were easy. I picked easy things, which I will say during the 2 years when I was not actually implementing the program, I for sure would see Lauren and Annie talking about hating cooking and I would be like, "Oh come on, ladies, like, it's just not that hard, like, just, like how hard is it, right? But as I implemented this career that, you know, required, like, I have to lean on my husband a lot more to do a lot of that stuff and so planning things that I knew that at the end of the day it would be, there was chicken in the fridge and I could just take a bagged salad and throw it on top of it, like, it made it so that I would actually do it and so I just did, I just ate the dinner that I planned. I think that's so boring but it's what I did. Jen: The thing is studies show that one of the biggest contributing factors to our food choices is convenience and so this is not it's not necessarily a flaw of humans, it's something, you know, it's population wide but we are busy people, we are very busy people and that's why meal planning works. The majority of women who work with us are actually working women, like working outside of the home, women and you know and so you know, we get it. Like, I mean, Annie, Lauren and I work so you, when it comes to supper time, you know, it's just, you know, I don't have time in my day to sit down in the morning and decide what we're having for the day and go to the grocery store and get all those ingredients and you know, I used to do that. I used to really enjoy it, like, I really did enjoy that component of being a stay at home but working, being a working mom is a whole new ballgame and yeah, meal planning can be just such a stress reducer, in a working family, I shouldn't say woman, I should say family. Bring boys in close here. Annie: You know, circling back to when you're talking about how Lauren I hate cooking. Beth: Sorry. Annie: No, no, I can own that because I don't, it's not that I can't, I mean, I can follow directions and probably cook some meals but I just don't want to, like, just like some people don't want to run or don't want to exercise or just like that's just not how I want to spend my time so that's why I really love Balance365 is because I'm not like, if it doesn't work for you, it doesn't work period. And so for me to go out and buy this meal plan that requires all this cooking or all this meal prepping or all this like grocery shopping, like that's just not going to, like it to me it feels like me trying to fit a, what is it? A square peg into a round hole, like, I could maybe do that for a while, like white knuckling, I could like stick to the plan for a little bit but eventually I'd like, that doesn't sound fun, like, that's just not like something I enjoy. So I can still balance my meals in a way that works for me that doesn't require a lot of cooking or a lot of meal prepping or on the flipside, someone that likes to cook can also do a lot of cooking with it if they want. If that's how they want to spend their time and it's like no judgment or no, neither one is better and worse than the other, it's just what works for you, period, is all we're really concerned with. Jen: I wanted to circle back to those 2 years where you weren't inactive, that's the thing, it's not like you bought and then you were inactive, you were very active in the group particularly in, we have a spin off group and some spin off groups, I guess, it's the Facebook group that's attached to our strength program Arms like Annie and you were active in Balance365 as well as you were quite active in Arms Like Annie. So it's not that you actually didn't do anything. You implemented an exercise habit. Beth: That's true, yep, but as, I mean, we've talked about it in the community, many times, like, an exercise habit is wonderful and there's so many positive things you gain from an exercise habit, but you know, if I just change nothing about my dietary habits, my nutrition habits, you know, it may not make a big dent in my fat loss and it didn't but it did produce lots of other positives. Jen: Absolutely, there's so many, you know, I would say fat loss is the last reason to work out. I mean, that's me personally, I don't know how other people feel but there's just so many health benefits to it that you don't even have to throw fat loss on the list, so but that's so, that's wonderful for you, really, holistically to have an exercise habit nailed and then you moved on to nutrition and- Annie: You know, that's actually one of my favorite things about Beth is that she is posting her selfies, her gym selfies at ridiculous hours in the morning because sleep is, you know, a love hate thing with you sometimes, so you go to the gym in the morning by yourself and you post your selfie and half the time you're like "Look, I didn't want to do this but I'm here and now and now I feel better or now I know my day is going to like take off in a completely different direction had I hit the snooze alarm or turn off the alarm and not come at all" and I love that you own it, just like I own I don't like cooking. You don't really like exercise but you see the benefits, like, you feel better, your day goes better, the rest of your habits seem to fall in line, which you've said before, it's kind of a snowball habit, like, your day is just different when you exercise, right? Beth: Yes, that whole, yeah, there's a lot I guess I'm trying to stay on topic, there's a lot to say about my gym habit and my selfies and all of that. I do find I don't enjoy exercise, it's not, I danced in, like, my youth, when I was pre-college I was a dancer and I loved that but I never really found that same level of enjoyment from any other kind of exercise, including like, people were like "You should take a group fitness class, that's like dance based." No thank you, I don't want to, I'm not interested. It's not the same. You know, and people are like "You should do the barre method." Please, no thank you. I will just not. I will just watch my daughters dance and I will get the same enjoyment from that and my sons. I get enjoyment from that but not with the exercise. So I am, I did, I don't like cardio at all, and so I bought Arms like Annie and I think when I bought it there might not have been a spinoff group yet and it turned out the Facebook's spinoff group really helped me achieve consistency with my habit and I feel so ridiculous, I will be honest, like, the selfies feel ridiculous to be me most days. But so there's a couple things, I guess, on the selfie thing, one is, I was mentioned in a previous podcast about what if you hate exercise, so I do, I put selfies every day when I'm in the gym, partly to create a sense of accountability to the group that I've said I will do this and I will do it and I show up. And as weird as it feels to me because I don't think I've done anything inspirational, like, I have women both in our community and women who like follow me on Instagram who are like, they feel that it is inspirational that I get up and I go to the gym. Jen: It is. I find, sometimes I see them in the morning and I'm like "Oh, just go, Jen, just do it, Beth did it. Annie: Beth did it, you can do it too. Beth: It's hard for me to see it as inspirational. I really try and treat my social media like, I try to treat it like a real, when I was coming, when I was having kids, I'm a little older than, my kids are older than y'all's kids and when they were coming up I found it really hard, there wasn't as much social media and I felt really alone in hating being a mom, like I hated it and I felt alone, so when I tried to put myself out on social media in any way, I tried to be really honest about who I am and how it feels. So I do say, I hate cardio, I hate that I'm here in the gym, I say "I had to talk myself into every single set I did today." And I feel like, I see that there are women who feel the same way and they do see it as inspirational that I went. It's funny because I kind of see it as just me like kvetching into the like universe but I see why people feel it's inspirational but also, I do the selfies for me. So a long time ago in the community, I think it was when I was in the public facing group, Jen had recommended something and I somehow came to to the work of Vivian McMaster, she's a photographer and she focuses on, she has programs focusing on self portraiture as part of, like, self acceptance and Annie said the same thing a number of times in the group, like, just taking pictures of ourselves and just seeing what we look like can get us to body neutrality. Jen: We have a whole podcast, not a whole podcast but we've mentioned this in a podcast and it's the whole thing of if you don't like the way you look in photos, you shouldn't take less, you should take more and look at yourself more. You need to get used to the way you look. Beth: Yeah, so I am, I really have tried to, like, so I will say I don't post a lot of unattractive selfies of myself, I'm still extraordinarily vain. Annie: Yeah, like you're feeling yourself. Beth: But I take, literally, in a month, probably thousands of selfies, like, I met admit how narcissistic that sounds but whatever, here it is. And they are attractive and unattractive and they are from angle that look good for me and the angles that don't because when I take them and I see myself I become, like, inoculated against seeing myself. And there was a long time where I was taking a ton of gym selfies and I was feeling good because I was taking a specific angle and I was avoiding all the other angles and I went on a trip with my friends and somebody posted, you know, a picture of a group of us and "Ahhh!" It was like a wake up call that, like, OK, like, I've lost some of the honesty of this practice. And I needed to get back to taking pictures and seeing myself for what it really is and this is just my body, this is just the body that I live in and it's fine and sometimes I feel really great about it and other times I feel kind of ambivalence about the whole thing and neither of those is the right emotion, they are just how I feel in that moment and so, I, so, yeah, so I take selfies for me as well I don't just take them to be an inspiration to the community. Annie: I love it because, to me, to me it's an act of self-love and it's an expression of self-love and I think, it's, sometimes women need permission to do the same and when they see other women taking selfies at the gym from good angles, from bad angles, like, this is cute, I don't really like this but I'm going to post it anyway because this is me like it gives women the permission to do the same and in fact, along the same lines of kind of what both you and Jen were talking about is we don't really cultivate self love by just focusing on the stuff we love, it's also exploring the stuff that we maybe don't love or even the stuff we hate and like why do we hate this, what is it about this, where did this start, where did this come from? Like and how can we move through that or at least like not be so dang uncomfortable with it, like you said when you see that photo, like, "Oh my god, delete, untag, get rid of that, I don't ever want to see it again!" Like maybe just sit with it, which we have a whole another podcast on that we can link in the show notes too but yeah, so I love that about you, Beth, I love that you, you just own it and if you've ever posted a selfie on social media best sees it, she is your top hype woman. She is like, liking that stuff, she's commenting, she's responding to your story, like, "Yes, woman, yes" Jen: Women should, they should do that for each other, we should be celebrating each other non stop because we are coming out of an era where we shamed, we were shamed and we've shamed each other. We are coming out of that era and it's time we women need to stop hiding, post all the selfies. Beth: Absolutely. Annie: Beth will have, I'm just going to, I hope you don't mind me- Jen: I'm going to post one today now. And I'm going to wait for Beth to comment on it. Annie: I hope you don't mind me sharing, Beth but Beth, you even posted, because we're friends on Facebook, like, I think you said something like, I've had a glass of wine or something, post your selfies so I can hype you up. You were going to work, you're like "This is like, I'm going to spend, you know, X amount of time hyping up women in my life, like, telling them how awesome they are." Jen: We're doing a selfie now. Beth: Okay, sorry, i just needed to take one for the gram, I was doing it for the gram. So yes I, so I have a very boring career as a real estate attorney, it's not anything real super exciting and it's not the work that I, I mean- Jen: It's not Law and Order? Beth: No and I love what I do but it is not, it's not lifting up people, you know, the way that I want my life, the way I want my life's work to be and what I have come to realize is like, you can have a career and you can also have a life's work and they don't have to be the same thing and I really truly believe that my life's work is about helping people feel good about themselves and accepting themselves and so it's weird because, like, I'm not, I'm just a girl who has friends on Facebook. Like, I'm not, I'm not, I don't have a public facing Facebook page and on how that's not what my life is about, I can only touch so many lives because I am a busy mom but I have a community of, especially because I went to law school late in life, I have a community of women who are younger than me who, I'm like, you could do this before you're 35, you could be in love with the life that you are choosing, you could be in love with it now and you can accept yourself radically now, you do not have to wait until you're an old woman, you don't have to wait until you have gray hair to decide to love what you look like and so I do. I will, especially, it's true if I drink I'm especially likely to just troll my friends' Instagrams. Jen: Loving up on all of them. Beth: But I will also, like, if I'm having a bad day I will ask people to post selfies in my comment sections so I can tell them how great they are because- Jen: Oh, that's so lovely. Beth: It really does make me feel better, like I feel better doing that and as Jen, I do think, I think loving yourself radically as a woman is a feminist act, like, I think it is saying to society that, like, you know, you can kick rocks, like, this is what we're doing now. Jen: Yeah, we're loving each other, like we are, this is not a woman against woman society anymore.. Beth: No and I saw a meme the other day day and it said something along the lines of "Who needs to send scandalous pictures to men when we can just celebrate each other" and that's how I feel, right, like, you don't have to, like I don't know, I don't care, you don't have to think I'm cute. Like, my girlfriends will hype me up and I am, I joke, I'm everybody's auntie on Facebook because if you post a selfie I am going to tell you how great you look. And I just, I, it's part of, I think, it's one of the things I love most about myself and so it matters. Annie: I love it about you too. Jen: I know that you have to go, Beth, so here's what I hear. I hear radical self acceptance, really bad A-S-S gym habit. Working out, building the guns every morning and as a byproduct of and you started implementing nutrition habits, balanced nutrition habits make you feel good and as a byproduct you have seen some weight loss that you are, I don't know if pleased is the right word, how do you feel about the weight loss? Because I know you are a very, you are, you've, you strongly identify with the feminist movement, I know that about you and so sometimes in the feminist circles weight loss is a touchy subject, right, because as you know it's been used to abuse women for so many years, so how do you feel as a strong feminist who has changed their nutrition habits and is losing weight? Beth: You know, I'm pretty ambivalent about weight loss, if I'm being really honest. I, some of that is because of all the things you mentioned, right, like how our bodies look has been such a weapon against us over the centuries. And so some of it's that and some of it is I have, well, I didn't do a lot of dieting in my life, I did do a lot of binge and restrict, just traditional trying not to eat the bad thing- Jen: Just the traditional- Beth: Just the traditional, you know, thing that we all do, I don't eat anything and then I eat all the things. So I have lost tremendous amounts of weight and been congratulated by the world and then have the experience of gaining it back and feeling like there was something wrong with me for having gained it back so I am a little bit ambivalent about weight loss for that reason, like, just that I want to make sure that I don't put too much of my value in it. Jen: Right. Beth: But, like, so I actually shared that my mother's in town right now and I shared this story with her the other day and I thought it was really, it's one of the things I gained from Balance 365 that I'm the most thankful for. I was in my doctor's office the other day and I told him I was, like, "Look, you know, I'm doing all this stuff and like the weight, really, like it's just, it's a slow slog. I feel like it's not coming off. I'm doing the things I'm supposed to do and it's not coming off." And he told me, he said, "You know, you're an attorney who has 4 children. You live a very high stress life and it will be hard for you to lose weight, like it's going to be hard, like the stress is going to make it difficult," and he said, "So, you know, I wouldn't put a lot of weight on that. I wouldn't put a lot of your focus on trying to lose weight because it may not happen, you know" and it felt really, at first, really discouraging. But there were lots of times in my life where if I had heard that message from a doctor that I would have been like "Well, I'm calling it. It's ice cream sundaes for the rest of the week and I'm staying in bed and I'm not going to the gym" and instead, I mean, this was probably 2 months ago, I have only increased my gym consistency and focused more on my eating because it really turns out weight loss is not my aim doing this, ultimately. I've stopped linking the things that I do for my health to how fat I am. Like I've just stopped linking those two things. Jen: Good for you. The weight loss is just a byproduct, like, it really, you know, it's and that's what Balance365 is about and that's what a lot of women's journeys have to be is that weight loss is not a driver, it's not like, you know, where for a lot of women it was, right? It was like wake up in the morning, OK, what do I have to do to lose weight today, right? Instead of going, waking up in the morning, saying "Hey, how am I taking care of me today?" and the byproduct of that, you know, it is what it is and for some people that could be weight loss. Annie: And one of the kind of philosophies that we preach is that weight loss is not a behavior, it's not a habit, it's a byproduct or it can be a byproduct of our habits and that's not, that's, I mean, we're a habit based behavior change company, so we're focusing on behavior change that you're after, that's important to you, that matters to you, that works for you and if weight loss is a byproduct of that and you're comfortable with it, then we're comfortable with it. Beth: Yeah, and that was a big plus for me here because I've always been like "What's your goal?" "Well, my goal is to lose 50 pounds or my goal is to lose two pant sizes or my goal is to, you know, whatever" and it was like it was revolutionary for me for my goal to be "I'm just going to show up at the gym," like, I'm just going to show up and I may not have any strength gains and I may not lose any weight and I may not have any result, there may not be a result, I'm just, my goal is something that I can control which is shocking because most of us have been in programs for our whole lives where the goal was something that in reality we have very little control over, right? Jen: Right. Beth: You can do all the things right, you can exercise perfectly and you still may not lose weight and you have no control over it so your goal is something you're like, I may never gets to, that's the worst, who wants that kind of goal? Jen: Yeah, I mean, I think you if you know your body well, you know, you can influence your weight, you know, that there are certain behaviors that influence weight loss but having, I mean this is why we have to be very careful with setting goal weights is that what if you, what if you are living a life you feel very healthy and balanced and you're not at that goal weight? Like, what are you willing to do, right and so it's sometimes it's just disappointing to set them, right, like? Annie: Right, well and even in our experience after coaching thousands of women, you know, the goal weight that many women have for themselves is like so unrealistic. "Where did you get that number?" "Well, that's what I graduated high school at. That's what I got married at 30 years ago." Jen: And you dieted for 6 months before your wedding day and now- Annie: Yes and I think, you know, Jen and I talk about this all the time, you know, Jen and I similarly, we're within a year apart with 3 kids, same height but Jen and I have like a 50 pound difference between us and so for me to think that like, "I could be Jen's weight," or for Jen to think "Oh, I could be Annie's weight," like that's just absurd. Like it's just, like, not realistic on either end of the spectrum and so yeah, I think that's just something to consider when, if you're listening and you have a have a goal weight in mind or if that's, like, in your back pocket it's like maybe give that some thought- Jen: Maybe focused on your behaviors and as an act of self-love you can let your weight be what it's going to be while you are pursuing behaviors that feel really good and really healthy for you. Beth: Well and I don't, I guess, I didn't, I don't want to sound like, you know, like, I sound like a Debbie Downer, like, I feel ambivalent about weight loss and you might not lose anything and I should say I have lost 15 pounds since the beginning of September so it's not as if, I'm not trying to say, like, it's impossible to lose weight or you you can't lose fat. Absolutely, it's possible but it's just for me, it's been very freeing to have goals that have nothing to do with my weight, that are just goals that I have control over so I don't want to make it sound like "Eh, lose weight" Annie: Beth, I enjoy you so much. OK, real quickly and then we'll let you get on with your day because, you know, it's a nice Sunday afternoon before the holidays, perfect timing for a podcast. If someone was on the fence and they were listening about joining Balance365 what advice would you give them? Beth: I think there is never, I don't think there's anyone who couldn't benefit from the program. So I will start by saying, "I think you should do it." And alternatively, as a second thing, if you are in a position where, like, you're worried, like, financially I don't know if I can do it, or you know, if you have reasons that you are holding yourself back that are valid ones that for you, then I do think, my experience is that there is certainly benefit to being in the group before you're ready to make changes but it's OK to wait, it's OK to wait until you're ready. So if you feel like it's not right then maybe it's not right right now but there's no one who I wouldn't say "Yeah this is a program that you can benefit from." So, you know do it, you can hang with me in the slow start club. There's a lot of us, there are a lot of us in the slow start club and I think now, kind of my purpose, it's not another life's work but like my goal in the group is to kind of try and help those people who are still hanging back, wanting to start, not knowing how to. Jen: We have a lot of Balance365ers who are listening and so if you and some of them are like, they're holding back from just getting started, so what would your advice be because I saw you tell somebody the other day in the group, I'm not sure what the post was about but you said "Hey look, I waited two years, I think, you waited two years to get started and that was a big mistake." Beth: Yeah. Jen: So what would your advice be to move people out of that zone of like- Annie: Contemplation. Jen: I've started but not starting, I've purchased but I'm not starting. Beth: I think I would say, "OK, so I think, my personal opinion is that starting with the balancing one meal is the right way to go. Now, that was what was right for me, not everybody is going to start the same way and but I'm speaking to people that for whom balancing a meal would be a good way to start and here's what I would say to those people: you have to eat something for dinner tonight anyway. Jen: Right, you might as well balance it. Beth: You have to. It's not as if your stress means you don't eat dinner, in fact, most of us are here because our stress means extra dinner, so like, if you are in a red zone and Annie and I, when we tried to record this in the past and I was so sick, we talked a lot about how I have ambivalent feelings about the red zone as well, like it's not, I kind of feel like "Eh, if you don't want to do it, don't do it. For me, that's a big part of what I love about the community is there's not this sense of like "No excuses," like, there aren't really truly, there are no excuses, you just, you know, you either do it or you don't do it, because you want to or because you feel like you can or whatever, it's fine. If you don't do it, you don't do it. Nobody is watching. Jen: And no one's judging you. Beth: Like, I don't care. I don't care if eat a balanced dinner, like, you're cool. I have met so many wonderful women in the community and you know what, if they don't eat a balance dinner, I could give two, right? Jen: Well, some people don't take action because they feel like, especially in this sort of "wellness industry area" they they don't take action because first of all, taking action in the past has been this big thing, overhauling their life, it's not like, "Hey, just balance your dinner. It's just like this one thing." It's like this overhaul, right and number two is you feel like people are watching you and you're going to be judged and you're going to get this right or you're going to get it wrong and it's like, we're not here to judge you, we're not here, you can't pass or fail. This isn't a, you know, we're just working at change, all together. Beth: Yeah, I guess, so yeah, I guess my advice would be just pick a meal and balance it and it feels, I know it feels like there's 7000 things that are keeping you from doing it, I know it feels that way, because we all feel that way, we all feel like, like you said, it might be the judgment of past diets or it might be fear of failure or it might be actual things, right it might be a sick child or a marriage that's falling apart or it could be any number of things. I have interpersonal problems too. I have and that's not to say,"I have these problems and if I can do it you can do it." I mean, we're all going to live that way forever.I have yet to meet a mom who's like my day is just so smooth and I have nothing to do with my time except meal plan and make perfectly balanced dinners. Like, I've never met that woman. I've never met her. Jen: Yeah. Beth: I don't think she exists. I think she's fake and so you're going to make dinner tonight. You are going to. You're going to eat something so choose to eat something that is closer to what you think would help you achieve your goals. So, for me that meant just planning, I'm going to be honest, like I said, I go to Pudova, I buy chicken and I throw it on top of a bag salad, that is what I eat like 3 nights a week when my children are not home because it means I don't have to do anything. It's my favorite and I probably would eat it 7 days a week if my children were not home and I didn't have to feed them. Jen: Beth, do you feel better? Like, I mean, is there anything, like, can we attach some feelings to this? So because eating balanced meals isn't about, we're not guiding women into eating more balanced meals for weight loss, that's not our primary driver, do you feel better eating more balanced meal? Beth: So yes, one, like, digestive health is better, obviously, when you eat vegetables, friends, like that's just true. Jen: It's just yes. Beth: It's just a fact about your digestive tract and my digestive health is better when I eat vegetables. I personally have some gall bladder issues and when I'm balancing my fats I feel better in that sense and I think my sleep has improved since I've been implementing more balanced eating, probably some of that is because if I'm not going through the drive through I'm less likely to drink caffeinated beverages late in the day. Jen: Right. Annie: Right. Beth: So there's a number of things that I think are positive and some of it, I won't lie, some of it is that fat loss has been a byproduct has also made me more comfortable in my body in a number of ways and so I think there's lots of positives that have come from eating a balanced dinner. Jen: Yeah, I mean, I heard from one of our members as far as the fat loss, she said you know it's the little things like bending down to tie my shoes and not having, you know, all this fat in the way, it's like physical comfort that she quite enjoys about losing weight off her body and I think that's OK to talk about, right, like there's only so much we can control each of us individually and as long as we're talking inside the constructs of what you, what is possible and achievable for you I think that's, you know, totally OK. And the other reality is that in the culture we live in that is so, so guided by diet culture a lot of women, a lot of women the bodies they are in are a result of years, decades of dieting and sometimes implementing these habits and seeing fat loss is about taking back the body you were meant to have before you got into this binge and restrict cycle that the diet industry pushed you into, resulting in actually living in a larger body than what is healthy and just your, what your natural body is, right and I'm here for that, too, right, so we say about Balance365, we're not trying to help women live at a body weight that's leaner than what's healthy for them, we're trying to get you to reclaim the body you were meant to have. Annie: I love these conversations with Beth because it's, like, not just about, like, this exterior, like, this has a very deeply rooted, deeply seated meaning of exploring, like, your relationship with yourself, your relationship, how your relationship with the world affects your relationship with your family and your other relationships and like, how, it just changes how you show up in the world on so many levels and so I just always love Beth's perspective. Jen: Me too. Annie: Yeah, OK, Beth, I know you have places to go, would you mind sharing your Instagram handle? Beth: Sure, my instagram handle is bethiclaus, beth like my name, i, claus, like Santa Claus and you can follow me, I think it's set to public right now but I'll probably get a private but if you ask to follow me and you're a woman- Jen: She'll let you. Beth: I definitely will let you. If you're a man, who know, maybe not. Jen: We're going to link to your Instagram account in the show notes. Beth: Girlfriends only. And so yeah, I mean, yes, if you follow me and then you do an Instagram story, there's like a 90 percent chance if you put a selfie in there you'll get feedback from me. Jen: Praise emojis and heart eyes. Beth: Positive affirms only as I like to say. Annie: Yeah, it's, what a great, you know, it's like dropping a pebble into a pond and watching the ripple, like, expand out. It's wonderful. I think that's such a great way to spend your time. I can't, like how valuable is that, making other women feel good or just encouraging other women to feel good, so thank you both for joining, Jen, this was fun that you were able to join for a member spotlight. It was enjoyable. Jen: Yes. Annie: Even in your house coat. Jen: Yes and now we can all go and enjoy Christmas. Annie: I know, I know but it's going to be way past Christmas by the time this comes out so- Beth: Merry Christmas, y'all. Annie: Merry belated Christmas. Alright, thank you ladies, we'll talk soon. Beth: Bye. Jen: Bye.…
There is a tremendous amount of pressure on women to bounce back after baby, and that can have a negative impact on new moms during an already stressful time. It doesn’t have to be that way! Jen, Annie and Lauren get together and brainstorm ways to fight the postpartum body blues, move past shame and into acceptance. Tune in and get practical advice, much needed perspective and renewed focus. Enjoy! What you’ll hear in this episode: Changes in the portrayals of the postpartum experience Media and cultural messaging around postpartum bodies and how they should look Postpartum as a chapter in your life where your body looks different The role of comparisons in body shame Advertising messaging in pregnancy magazines When women dread the obligation to lose weight postpartum The impact of dieting stress on the body The stress associated with having a newborn The temporary nature of postpartum body feels Timing of fat loss goals postpartum relative to other stressors Achieving body neutrality postpartum The constantly changing nature of our bodies Practicing non-attachment to our body shape The prevalence of postpartum body dissatisfaction and what you can do about it Resources: Secrets From the Eating Lab Episode 29: A Therapist’s Advice On Asking For What You Need Mindfulmft Instagram account Episode 9: Two Sisters, Two Bodies: Growing Up Together In A Body Obsessed World Learn more about Balance365 Life here Subscribe on Apple Podcasts , Spotify , Google Play , or Android so you never miss a new episode! Visit us on Facebook | Follow us on Instagram | Check us out on Pinterest Join our free Facebook group with over 40k women just like you! Did you enjoy the podcast? Leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or Google Play ! It helps us get in front of new listeners so we can keep making great content. Transcript Annie: Welcome back to another episode of Balance365 Life radio. Before we dive into this topic, I wanted to share a really sweet review we got on iTunes and this is from Becks H and she says "As I learn more about the damage that diet culture has done and is continuing to do in my own life and in general, these ladies are a breath of fresh air. It's like having a chat with encouraging girlfriends who can answer all of your questions. I always learn something and I always an up in a good mood plus listening while I work makes tasks and chores more bearable." Thank you so much, Becks H, I appreciate the review and to everyone else who has left a review for us on iTunes or Spotify, we read every single one of them and they mean so much to us, thank you. Alright, let's dive into this postpartum topic. The postpartum period can be a time of great love but it can also be great sadness. If you've had a baby you've likely experienced the insane amount of pressure placed on postpartum women to "bounce back" quickly after giving birth, from magazines to media, to even well intentioned friends and family, women are praised and applauded for making it appear as though they never even had a baby. With such high expectations for women it can feel impossible to feel like you aren't failing. Our bodies go through so many changes in the pregnancy and postpartum stage, it's common to hear women in awe of their body's ability to grow and birth a child but on the other hand, insecure and confused about how their post-partum body looks. On today's episode of Balance365 Life radio, Lauren, Jen and I discuss our personal experiences with postpartum body shame and suggestions on how to cope and if you want to continue this discussion, we'd love to see you inside our free private Facebook group Healthy Habits Happy Moms. Enjoy. Ladies, the gang's all here. Yay! All three of us are back together. Lauren: Yay! Annie: Jen, how are you doing today? Jen: Good. Annie: Good. Lauren, how are you? Lauren: Good. Annie: Again. You know, we act like I haven't talked to Lauren twice already on two different podcasts. I've done this intro already. Lauren: I'm still wonderful. Annie: Good, good. I'm happy to have both of you here with me today because we're talking about a topic that comes up frequently in our podcast or in our community and I'm kind of surprised we haven't already dove into this in our podcast but that is postpartum shame. Which kind of used to be our bread and butter, that was like how, we were then Healthy Habits Happy Moms, we really started as pre/postnatal talk and training experts. Jen: Yeah, I mean we still do talk about pre and post natal health, women's health, we've just expanded from there. Annie: Yeah, but it's like kind of going back to our roots today, like we used to talk about this so much and we still do inside of our Facebook community which is Healthy Habits Happy Moms on Facebook, if you're not a part of it, it's a pretty a free private community which if you have more questions or you want to continue the discussion on the podcast today inside there is a great place to do it. But we want to talk about postpartum body shame because it's something that the 3 of us have absolutely experienced at various stages in our life and it's something that we hear from a lot of women in our community that they also experience and that's large in part because there's an insane amount of pressure on postpartum women to "bounce back" after giving birth and it's not surprising because we live in a culture unfortunately that fonds over women who lose the baby weight and don't even look like they've had a baby or they are able to slip on their pre-pregnancy jeans shortly after leaving the hospital and intentionally harmful or not this message, the message to women is clear that women are encouraged and applauded for having a baby and then essentially destroying any evidence of having done so and it can feel incredibly hard when you see all of that to not feel like you're failing if you don't achieve those results, right? Jen: Yeah, I mean, I think the message that we get becomes an expectation almost like if you aren't one of those women that "bounces back" then there's something wrong with you. Lauren: Or you better at least be trying your hardest. Jen: Yeah. Lauren: If you're not trying, what's wrong with you. Annie: Absolutely and I just, I do want to be clear that there's a lot of ways that shame can kind of show up or present itself in the postpartum period and that can be, like, function related which we've talked about a lot in our community as well as far as diastasis recti, incontinence, hernia, pelvic floor dysfunction, sexual dysfunction. It can also show up as mental and emotional related shame which is something I know Jen's been very vocal about postpartum depression, anxiety, O.C.D, just general sadness or depression but we really want to focus on shame as it relates to your appearance or your body today on this episode and some of the ways that can show up is, you know, feeling like you still look pregnant after giving birth shortly or a while after. It can change your belly shape. You can feel shame or embarrassment or concern about stretch marks, your skin, your hair, maybe carrying additional body fat or weight, more cellulite, baggy or loose skin, which, to me ,I'm reading this, listen, I'm, like, "Yep, that sounds pretty par for the course for pregnancy, postpartum." Jen: Or you, just, you know, you've never had a baby. Annie: You just have a body. Jen: Yeah like so these are just trigger things for women and you know, we, you know, we talk about this so often but really we have been set up for failure in postpartum, as women, you know, women get set up for failure in that, first of all, nobody talks much about postpartum and two, there isn't a very realistic portrayal of postpartum. I mean, it's coming, it's coming, I think we've got more pages, like social media accounts of stuff that popped up with women sharing a more realistic postpartum but I mean, when I was having babies, I started in 2009 and ended in 2013, there was nothing out there like there is now. There was a lot of women going viral, like, I mean, I'm talking across the world for how they looked postpartum. Just, you know, international headlines, it's crazy. Annie: Well and that's one of things you wanted to share, you found a couple studies that kind of reflects your experience because I remember one of my first conversations with you was you had, would it have been your third round Heidi Klum? Jen: I had my first around the same time as Heidi Klum I think had her fourth or her third and she was on the Victoria's Secret runway at 10 weeks postpartum and all the power to Heidi Klum, for sure, it's just that, you know, she probably spent 10 weeks preparing for that, she was probably preparing for it in her pregnancy and it just wasn't a realistic, you know, postpartum journey, you know, not many women, you know, would look like. Lauren: Not many women's lives look like Heidi Klum's, right? Jen: Yeah. Lauren: She has help in every area of her life right and a lot of us are doing this more or less on our own, so it's not going to look the same. Jen: Right and also after she was on the runway I mean everybody made such a huge deal out of it and then there was articles everywhere talking about, interviewing her on her diet and exercise regime leading up to that and she was on a very strict diet and she had, she was working out tons and so there was just no gentler message out there at the time and I really thought that should probably be, like, I should have, I clearly should have been doing that kind of thing and I did feel really ashamed. Annie: Right, there's this like inferred, like, standard, like, this is the standard for her when, in reality, like, she gets paid to look a certain way and do a job based off of the way her body looks which we can dive into a little bit later. And like, and you don't, so like the expectations are just different, you know and the standards are different but there is that, when you see that put on a pedestal, her put on a pedestal for doing this thing with her body after pregnancy, there's this inferred "I should be doing that as well" or that's what's expected. Jen: And I also wanted to note that postpartum body shame is incredibly complex but most women headed into postpartum at that are feeling ashamed about their bodies already carried quite a bit of shame beforehand, like the shame, the body shame always existed and it does exist in millions upon millions of women and postpartum just intensifies it. Annie: Absolutely, I know just on a personal note, I felt like, as you noted, starting right away in pregnancy that my body was changing faster than my thoughts and emotions and mind could process and it was just, you know, and that carried well into postpartum and I'm 2.5, who says that, 2.5, 2 and a half years postpartum and I still feel like I'm seeing changes in my body with like my hair and my skin, like, I feel like my hair is starting to grow back a little bit and it's like your body is just changing and I just remember thinking that it was changing faster than I could process, I could emotionally, like, keep up with it. It seemed like I got comfortable with one aspect or the way my body was feeling or looking or functioning and then "Oh, we're going to pivot, we're going to change ,we're going to grow a little bit, we're going to expand a little bit or shift a little bit" and it can be challenging. So we, but you know, with all that said we also understand that a lot of women at this stage have a desire to feel more confident and you know, ultimately I remember feeling like I wanted to regain some sort of control because as a mom, it felt like so much of it was out of my control and I just wanted to control something and a lot of times, in our experience, we see women trying to control their bodies or their food or their exercise as a way to like do that thing, to gain some control, so we just wanted to share some steps, essentially that might help you overcome or work through some postpartum body shame. Yeah? Jen: Yeah. Lauren: Yeah. Annie: OK, alright, let's go. So the first one is to quit comparisons and this can be on a couple different levels but we would encourage you to let go of comparing your pre-pregnancy body with your postpartum body and also comparing your bodies with other women, which is just good advice in general but a lot of times we hear women comparing their prenatal, their pre-baby body and their post baby body and we would offer that it doesn't have to be better or worse that it's just different. Jen: Yeah, I mean a lot, there's, this conversation happens constantly but it's women comparing, you know, how long it took them to get back to their pre-pregnancy weight or, that's a goal, right, so it's like "I'm 5 pounds from my pre-pregnancy weight. I'm 15 pounds from my pre-pregnancy weight." It seems to be the goal for a lot of women postpartum. I'm not saying there's anything wrong with that, it's just that, it's sort of like believing you can predict what your body is going to look like and feel like after puberty. It's a major, major hormonal event, major physical changes happening and you don't really know what your body is going to look like on the other side of pregnancy and into postpartum and the other thing, you know, we've kind of touched on this but our own postpartum body standards is that postpartum is yet another chapter of a woman's life where her body is going to look different so there is, one study I pulled that actually interviewed a whole host of women in Australia who were giving birth and inside that study women talked about their utter, like, their, just, their shock around postpartum, like, their their prenatal classes had all revolved around labor and delivery and nobody had really talked to them about postpartum, like what they would look like, how they would feel and there was an acceptance of their body changing during pregnancy because it was very functional. But postpartum they felt, they didn't feel there was a function for that changed body anymore and it and they were shocked at their bodies didn't go back to how they looked pre-pregnancy and so I always encourage women to look at postpartum like another chapter right, so pregnancy is a chapter of life where your body will be changing and may not look or feel the way it had before but postpartum is also another chapter where your body definitely has a function, where now you are recovering from birth and many women will be nursing a baby, some women not, which is fine. But that's just another chapter where your body has function and and a job to do and it's going to look different. Annie: Yeah and we always say in our community too that postpartum is forever, like once you're postpartum, you're postpartum forever so there's no, like, timeline for, at least we wouldn't prescribe or suggest or a timeline for which any of this is normal. It's all very individual base and person-specific. Like some women change, gain weight, lose weight for a variety of reasons, at a variety of rates and it's not, like, prescriptive, like, this is what you should be doing. Lauren: I think for me, what really, something that really helped me was exactly what Annie said, realizing that "pre-baby body" like, that's gone, like, I will have a post baby body forever, like, it's never, it's always going to be different and it's not better or worse and it doesn't mean I can't get, you know, some semblance of, you know function back. I can still lose the some extra fat that I put on. I can get stronger but it's always going to be different than it was before. And that's OK. That's how it's supposed to be. Jen: Yeah and it's also important to remember that fat has a function as well, it's not just, you know, excess weight that we've put on that's unnecessary and it's like, it's crazy out there on social media that, you know, what women become consumed with. There was a period of time where every time I logged into Pinterest the very 1st pin at the top of my feed was how to lose fat during pregnancy and I could see that it had been pinned thousands and thousands of thousands of times and it's just, it's just such a symptom of what women are so concerned about in pregnancy, right, it's yeah, it's just become this massive concern because we live in this society- Annie: That fears it. Jen: Yeah that has set up this expectation for us but it's no different than everything we've talked about on this podcast before, it's just during a different chapter of your life. The marketing machine is still the same and the marketing machine is still there for pre and post natal women so it is, you know, holding up an unrealistic standard for women, making them feel ashamed that they don't meet that standard and selling them something in order to try and meet that standard. And you see there's like all these things like stretch marks creams on the market that really don't have any evidence behind them whatsoever. Because whether you develop stretch marks or not is probably mostly based on your genetics. I had stretch marks well before I hit pregnancy. I got them in puberty so I knew some would probably be coming during pregnancy. My sister had stretch marks, my mom has stress marks, you know, and there's all these industries that have popped up around women's bodies being wrong, even during pregnancy and postpartum and one other study that I pulled was a media study done on 3 popular pregnancy magazines and upwards and over 50 percent of the advertising inside those magazines were ads about weight loss or getting your body back. So you're already being bombarded with this messaging during pregnancy that your primary goal postpartum should be erasing any signs that you have become a mother. Lauren: And it causes a real fear even during pregnancy. Jen: Right. Lauren: About what's coming, what's going to happen. Jen: Right, absolutely. Annie: I just had a phone call with one of my closest friends, she is pregnant and she's struggling with gaining weight during pregnancy and I assured her over and over and over again that this is exactly what your body's supposed to be doing, like, this is your body's job, like this is normal, this is an expectation but she's already kind of bracing herself for, like, weight loss postpartum, like, I'm putting on all this weight and I'm going to have to lose it and it's like, "You know, actually, you don't have to. You don't have to." Jen: Yeah, you don't have to do anything different, really postpartum and a lot of women's bodies will settle in. So I look at my three experiences and in my third experience I was not dieting and in my first two I was just, you know, hyper focused on the weight loss postpartum and in my first two I lost weight very quickly and you know, again my whole goal being finding my "pre-pregnancy weight" but it just consumed me, right and I had, especially in my second pregnancy, I had all these pelvic health issues going on but I could not pause to deal with those because I was just, I just was obsessed with losing this weight. And then by my third one I wasn't dieting so I wasn't hyper focused, I wasn't doing anything differently than I had maybe done in pregnancy as far as just, you know, eating balanced meals and all of that and guess what? I lost the weight anyways, like, you know, without stressing over it and so what we say is like, you know, we always say this, but, "Cultivate healthy habits that work for you in that season of your life and let your body be what it's going to be. Let your weight be what it's going to be and that is probably what's healthiest for you." Annie: Well and especially to consider that as a mom, new or not, whether it's your first or it's your fifth, babies are stressful, you know and then maybe you've got some other kids on top of that, maybe you're returning to a career in the home or outside the home or whatever but I mean, at the bare minimum, caring for a baby and yourself in that stage of the game is stressful and then so many women want to throw additional stress of dieting and workouts, which dieting is a stress on your body, it creates psychological stress. I mean, Traci Mann is coming on our podcast this week, it's echoed in her book Secrets From the Eating Lab, like it's additional stress on your body. Jen: Yeah, measurable, you measure your stress levels, that when people are dieting their stress levels go up. Annie: Yeah, their cortisol is higher and it's, like, you know, cut yourself some slack. Jen: Yeah, absolutely and then it leads into a cycle, right, so there's this the stress cycle where, like, you're super stressed so your cravings intensify, which Lauren can talk more about that if she wants to and then all those cravings intensify and you end up in that binge and restrict cycle, right, even postpartum and it's so intense because you are already so stressed, fighting those cravings, then trying to restrict, which leads to more stress, which leads to more urges to binge eat and yeah, it's just a really messy, messy cycle that I think if more women were honest, they would say they were very, very stuck in in the postpartum chapter. Annie: Absolutely. Moving on, I know I just said that once you're postpartum you're postpartum forever but with that said, I also want to offer that now is not forever and what I mean by that is how you're feeling now about your body, hopefully, likely, I mean, assuming it's, if you're listening to this you might be feeling some negative emotions about your body or maybe you've experienced that in the past or you're kind of preparing for it in the future but know that feelings ebb and flow and as uncomfortable as it can be to lean in and shine a light so to speak on the dark feelings that you're feeling, it could be the thing that helps you step forward from self loathing to self-love and Vienna Pharaon was actually on our podcast, if you don't follow her on mindfulmft which we can link into the show notes on Instagram, she's a just a wonderful uplifting account. She's a therapist but she encourages, a couple weeks ago she had a post about how to cultivate self-love and her answer was the only way to love yourself is by exploring all the things you hate about yourself. The practice of self-love can't be fully successful if we hide and reject the parts that actually need it and so I guess with that, what comes to mind for me is when I'm feeling some type of way, when I'm feeling a negative emotion or shame about a body part or an aspect of my life or trait of myself, instead of kind of running and hiding from it or distracting myself with other thoughts or behaviors to actually kind of explore, like, what is this, where did this come from, why am I feeling like this, where did I learn this, when did this start and see what answers you come up with and in my experience, the more I do that, the more I'm able to lean into those emotions, the quicker they pass. Jen: Right, the other thing is to understand that self acceptance is such a crucial component of body satisfaction and self acceptance does not necessarily mean you love every part of your body and this goes for postpartum, so full honesty here, I don't love the way my postpartum body looks and I don't love the way it feels so I just find it extremely uncomfortable, not just my stomach but like big breastfeeding boobs, I just can't handle and I'm not used to because I'm actually very small chested normally. I just, all of that stuff just is very uncomfortable. Lauren: Yeah so....sorry... Jen: Self acceptance isn't about loving every part of your body or even necessarily loving the way it looks, it's just about accepting, accepting it all and taking it all in, right? Lauren: Right, yes so for me, I am the newest postpartum out of the 3 of us. I have a one year old and I remember this very, very clearly because when I had Benny we were already, we had already started this company, right, I have been in this process for years but I remember, just not, I was maybe 2 months postpartum and I just didn't feel like myself, right I didn't, I didn't love the way my body looked and like you said, I didn't like how it felt, it felt foreign to me and I didn't feel like myself and what helped for me is to realize that now is not forever, like Annie mentioned. It was, it opened my eyes because we have a lot of people come into the Facebook group and talk about, you know, I haven't lost the baby weight yet and I, you know, I don't feel like myself or whatever and we're like well how far, you know, how long ago did you have your baby and they'll say, you know, 6 weeks, 8 weeks, 12 weeks, whatever and as a non postpartum Mom, you look at that and say "Well, that's a blink of an eye, right, like you are so newly postpartum" but I remember being in that space and to me, it felt like it was taking forever. And I knew, like I knew all this stuff, right, but still being in that place, having your hormones changing, your body still constantly changing. I just need anyone in that space to remind themselves that now is not forever and it does, in the moment, feel like a long time but it will pass. Like, I'm a year postpartum now and I'm still going through postpartum changes but I'd say probably for the first 6 months or so I was like kind of in the thick of it as far as my postpartum body went for sure. Jen: Right and actually in Balance365 we don't even recommend anyone even be thinking about anything fat loss related until they're out of the thick of it, which for some, you know, that differs for every woman, I know we kind of said ish, around 6 months postpartum, like if you're thinking about fat loss before 6 months postpartum you're just probably in the wrong area of your wellness wheel at that point and then I think it was, when you're around 6 months postpartum, Lauren or had you said you kind of came out of think of it around four months postpartum, I can't remember now. It doesn't feel like that long ago. Lauren: Yeah it was like between 4 and 6, like, there was, I mean, it was kind of cyclical, right, like the baby would sleep through the night then he wouldn't sleep through the night and so it just kind of depended but between like 4 and 6 months is when I started even working on, you know, anything fat loss or even really health related. Jen: Right, it is just survival, right, survival. Lauren: Yeah, I started just by, like, "Well, let's get some veggies in everyday, Lauren. Let's get some protein." Jen: Which is a very realistic look at what postpartum looks like right and on that sleep front, my third, he didn't sleep through the night until I weaned him when he was one and I honestly didn't feel like I was coming out of the thick of it until then. So I really think like you know it's just so dependent from woman to woman on what that feels like and but that's why that acceptance piece, that self acceptance piece is so important, right, like now is not forever and you can wake up in the morning and you can acknowledge that your breasts feel really heavy and you do not like that feeling or your belly feels, you know, very large and it's in the way and you are not, you know, it's just and you just, you don't enjoy that and that's not where you want to be but just that acceptance can wash over you of this is just, "this is not forever, it's just right now." Annie: And I think that moves you into a space of being very neutral about your body which I know we've talked about with Janelle on the sisters podcast that she really felt like neutral is a good place for her to be at various points that she wasn't able to, like, as you said, love all aspects about her body, which I don't even think is the goal, I don't even know if that's possible, if it is possible I haven't experienced it yet but you can just be kind of like "Oh, this is what it is." Jen: Like, well, if you don't pour all your self-worth into the way your body looks then self acceptance can be easier, right? But when you've poured all to yourself worth into how your body looks then it is absolutely devastating to have to endure postpartum. Annie: Absolutely which is a great segue into our third recommendation is to remember that your body isn't the problem and this is so easy for the three of us to sit here and say now that we're a year plus removed from giving birth but the antidote to your postpartum body shame is way less about dieting down to your pre-pregnancy weight and way more about cultivating self acceptance and Lou Ullrich, I hope I'm pronouncing that right, this, I love this quote of hers. She says "Bodies inevitably change, the more attached we become to their shape, the more we will suffer" and that's essentially what Jen was saying, that, I mean, even, you know, from puberty to college to, you know, high school, college, pre-pregnancy, baby 1, 2, 3, like, I mean, my body is just like, it is constantly evolving, you know. Jen: If we lined up our bodies from, you know, if we had a picture taken on all of our birthdays and lined them up from ages 0 to age 99, you would start to see that your body is always evolving, we are always changing whether it's your shape and size or you know, your skin is changing and that's just it. There just needs to be an acceptance around that, period. Bodies change. Period. Annie: Yeah, you can't stop it. Jen: So never get too attached to any one way that your body looks. Annie: Yeah, absolutely and again this is easy for us to sit here and say but I want to remind our listeners that this is something that we, the three of us, have been practicing for years and years and years and years. This didn't just happen overnight where we're just like "Oh, we're done dieting, we're done with self-loathing, we're done with, we're done you know with shaming ourselves." Like, this has been a practice and I think, you know, the three of us were being honest that we still have days or moments, you know, where we're not loving everything about ourselves or we're struggling a little bit more than others for whatever reason and but now we have the awareness to say "Look, this is just a bad body image day or a bad body image week or I'm feeling in this type of way because X, Y, Z happened and it will pass and it doesn't mean that it needs to affect my behaviors or my actions or how I'm moving forward." Awesome. OK, well, anything else you ladies want to add? I feel like we could talk a lot more about other aspects of postpartum shame as well. Jen: Yeah, I think this is a good initial dive. Annie: Dive into at least appearance which is what brings women to us, because again, we've been conditioned to think that our body is the most important aspect of our ourselves and so we get a lot of women in our community, especially with the name Healthy Habits Happy Moms that are like "I'm a new mom and I had a baby and now I need to, you know, lose my weight- Jen: I want to get healthy so that means I need to lose all this baby weight and it's like, "Is that healthy?" Like, we just need to pause here and let's just question that a little bit, like is that healthy for you, right now? Especially as quickly as possible, right? Like, we talk about this on this podcast constantly, losing weight as quickly as possible is about one of the most unhealthiest things that you can do to your body and postpartum is no different. Annie: Absolutely. Lauren: Yeah. Annie: OK, good chat, I hope we left our listeners feeling uplifted because I feel uplifted like, "Hey, like this is this is all normal." Jen: "This is all normal and we've all been there." So we get you, girl. Annie: Yes and if you want to, like I said at the beginning, have more support, you know, doing things like a media fast could be helpful. It could also be helpful to join our community continue the discussion here as I mentioned already, Healthy Habits Happy Moms on Facebook. We have a really, really great community of women that would love to work out any sort of emotions you're feeling about your postpartum body or even if you're pregnant or even if you're 5 years, 10 years postpartum, every woman is welcome in there. So we hope to see you on the inside and thanks for joining me ladies. Lauren: Thanks. Jen: Bye. Lauren: Bye.…
Cheat meals have been a part of popular diet culture for a long time and there are even experts who promote them as being healthy. But what is the truth? Join us as Annie and Lauren unpack the assumptions that are made about cheat meals and explore what balance and moderation mean in the context of healthy, happy living. What you’ll hear in this episode: Do cheat meals boost your metabolism? Could cheat meals be negating your progress? What the experts say about cheat meals Do cheat meals provide a psychological break The Pink Polar Bear effect and cheat meals What “sugar addicted rats” really tell us about restriction Do cheat meals help you stay on track? Cycles of binge restrict - seasonal, time of day, days of the weak How to enjoy treats without cheat days The Goldilocks approach to balance What to do when your pendulum swings back How to find balance in the middle Resources: Is Sugar Addictive? 49: Diet Culture Explained Learn more about Balance365 Life here Subscribe on Apple Podcasts , Spotify , Google Play , or Android so you never miss a new episode! Visit us on Facebook | Follow us on Instagram | Check us out on Pinterest Join our free Facebook group with over 40k women just like you! Did you enjoy the podcast? Leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or Google Play ! It helps us get in front of new listeners so we can keep making great content. Transcript Annie: The philosophy of a cheat meal is based on the idea that for one meal or one day a week you can eat whatever you like and it seems to have become the standard in many mainstream diet plans. Fans of cheat meals boast that they boost your metabolism, provide a psychological break and help you stay on track with your goals but do they really? On today's episode of Balance 365 life radio Lauren and I dive into our thoughts and experiences on if cheat meals help or hurt your relationship with food and how you can actually enjoy the foods you love without relying on cheat meals. Enjoy! Lauren, it's me and you again. How are you? Lauren: Hi. I feel like we should have so Mariah Carey in the background. Annie: Oh yeah, we should have, maybe Vanessa can, our podcast editor can put some in the background since Jen's not here. Jen is not a Mariah Carey fan and Lauren and I are diehard Mariah Carey fans. Lauren: Like old school Mariah. Annie: Yeah, in fact on Saturday night there's a bar in my town that is an over 30 bar, which- Lauren: Oh my god. Annie: But the it's great because they play a lot of Mariah Carey and Whitney Houston and Janet Jackson and Paula Abdul. Lauren: Do you have to show your ID to prove that you're over 30? Annie: You don't but yeah, I just don't think many people under 30 it's really their thing. Lauren: Want to go. Annie: It's definitely an older crowd but the music is so good so it's fun just to go dancing there because it's like you're in middle school. It's like you're at those middle school, like school parties again. Lauren: And like the skating party. Annie: Yes, like Jay for roll away. Lauren: It reminds me of that meme that says there needs to be a bar, like, for people who like to have 2 drinks then go to bed before 9 o'clock. Annie: Yup, that's me. I had a couple glasses of wine at dinner then we went out dancing with my girlfriends and it was great. Lauren: Like that sounds fun. Annie: It was fun. It was, I mean, that's essentially what happens in my bathroom every morning, you know, a little dance party with Mariah Carey- Lauren: But maybe without the wine with. Annie: Yes or or maybe with a lot of coffee. Just replace the wine with coffee. Anyways, I'm happy you're here with me today because we're talking about cheat meals and I used to be a big cheat meal fan. Did you ever do a cheat meal? Did you ever do that like? Lauren: Yes, I did lots of cheat meals. They were always like, Saturday it was like my cheat meal day. Annie: Mine was Friday night and then it kind of wiggled its way into Saturday and kind of eventually came around Sunday which we will actually talk about later today but the cheat meal was kind of a standard in a lot of diets. Lauren: Yep. Annie: I don't know if you see this too in your area but it's kind of touted as like the go to philosophy for a lot of, especially in the gym setting, I feel, like a lot of people are doing, you know, that if it fits your macros or whatever and then they have their one designated cheat meal or cheat day. But the idea is that you can eat whatever you want in that timeframe, right? Lauren: Yeah. Annie: And there's actually even some "experts" that make claims as to why a cheat meal can be a good thing for you and they can say everything from it boosts your metabolism, that it can give you a psychological break from dieting and they can also say that it helps you keep you on track with your plan, which we're just going to blow those right out of the water in the next few minutes. So are you ready? Do you want to just get right into it or do you have any cheat meal thoughts before we jump into it? Lauren: Do you have any cheat meal thoughts? No, no, we can jump right in. Annie: Okay, let's go. So claim number one: cheat meals boost your metabolism. Lauren, you're kind of the nutrition guru, you are, not kind of, you are the nutrition guru. Is that true? Do cheat meals boost your metabolism? Lauren: No, I mean food boosts your metabolism in general and if you need a cheat meal to boost your metabolism, you are not eating enough right or being way too restrictive. Yeah and you know, to add to that whole eating breakfast, jumpstarts your metabolism, like, that's not true either so no, not and also one cheat meal can undo your results for the entire week and I think, I know you've probably experienced this too, right,where you you put in all this hard work throughout the entire week and so your cheat meal you all the things and I think we underestimate how much, how many calories we can eat during a cheat meal or a cheat day and it really, it kind of "undoes" everything you just worked to do, right and if you instead just kind of make smaller, more manageable changes throughout the entire week you don't need a cheat meal and you probably or could get better results anyway. Annie: Yeah, the first time I was, that concept of essentially a cheat meal having the, could be an opportunity to essentially negate all the work you did throughout the week I was in a doctor's office and I was talking to my primary care doctor, this was before I was a personal trainer. I was in the fitness industry, this is was long before this but I was expressing to her that I was trying to make some changes to my diet but that I wasn't losing weight and she asked, like, well, you know, what are you doing and I said well you know Monday through Friday I do really well, I, you know, pack my lunches, eat breakfast, I eat dinner, my snacks are this and that, like all the gold standard, sort of balanced diet stuff, right, it was heavy on the restriction side, of course. Because that's, you know, what I knew then but I said, you know, then on the weekends, then we'll eat out and she was like "Well, tell me about your eating out" and I was like, "Well, we'll go to the, you know, the restaurant down the corner or this or that" and she was like, "I hear that you're trying to make some changes and you have some really good intentions," she's like, "I want you to know that one of those meals can negate any caloric deficit you've tried to acquire during the week" and I was mad. I was mad when I heard that because I was like "No, I work so hard during the week to get this result and then I essentially just blow it all in one Chinese buffet, like, is that what you're telling me?" She was like, "Well, look, it's not personal but yes, it's possible." Lauren: Yeah, that's really like, exactly what I used to do. I know a friend of mine, do you guys have On The Border? Annie: Yeah we ate at On The Border when you were here. Lauren: Oh, well we would go to On The Border, there's one like by my house and we would eat the chips and salsa first, right, then I would get these tacos, these amazing tacos with the rice and then we would get this like cake dessert thing which had like the cake with the gooey chocolate center and ice cream and it was like, I probably, yeah, I would definitely overdo it because I was so hungry and so excited to actually eat good food, you know, because when you're restricting yourself so heavily throughout the week you want food that tastes good, like, you want taste. Annie: And I know we've said this a million and one times on this podcast before but I'm going to say it again, restriction sets you up to binge. Lauren: Yes. Annie: And so it's no surprise that if you're restricting, restricting, restricting, you know, like, white knuckling it through the week and then you get to that cheat meal on Friday or Saturday or Sunday or whatever it is or cheat day, it's no wonder you're like "Game on! Let's go, I'm going to get all the things! You know, I'm going to start at breakfast and I'm going to go all the way to dinner, you know or I'm going to have this, like, 3 course meal if you're just doing one meal, like, I'm going to I'm going to expand that meal into an appetizer and then a main course and then a dessert and then a side dish and some heavy caloric drinks or some alcohol or whatever." That's normal, that's exactly what we would expect from someone that is white knuckling it through the week, like. Lauren: Right and when you only have one day or one meal to get in all your favorite foods, like, I'm going to fit as much as I possibly can fit in my stomach right now, like, and I still go out to eat, like, I still eat chips and salsa and tacos and sometimes order dessert but I just eat less, like, I don't eat as many chips and salsa because I'm not starving, like, I'll eat, you know, I'll take half of my meal home because I don't need it all and if we do order a dessert, like, the whole family shares that, I have a few bites and like that's it, so not saying you can't go out to eat but it's just a different kind of experience. Annie: Absolutely. I think that's what we call moderation here at Balance365. Lauren: Oh, OK. Is that the term? Annie: Is that a new concept to you, Lauren? Jokes, jokes. OK, claim number 2: cheat meals provide a psychological break. Is that true? Lauren: No, I don't, not in the long run. So it can feel like a break when you're in it, right, but then you have to go back to restricting. I remember I always used to like, plan, like you said, I would play my whole day. Annie: Yes, right. Lauren: Plan what I'm going to eat for each meal, the whole cheat day but then you have to go back to it and we had Marci Evans on the podcast a few weeks ago and we talked all about sugar addiction, right or whether sugar addiction is a real thing, so if you haven't listened to that, definitely go listen that was a really good and if you remember, she talked about the sugar addicted rats that "prove" that sugar addiction is a real thing, right, when you read the click baity articles and whatever. But what we, what the study actually showed was the rats that had that addiction-like behavior were the ones that were, they had to fast before hand, right, they restricted their food before hand and then they gave them that access to the sugar and they gave them sometimes a lot of sugar, sometimes they would take it away and give it back and the rats that did not have that restrictive behavior before hand they just ate it like regular food, right, they didn't exhibit that same addicted like behavior. Annie: Yeah so what she was suggesting and what other research has backed is that it's not necessarily the food, it's the way in which the food is presented or the context around the food. Lauren: Right. Annie: So yeah, when you're saying, no, I can't have this until Friday, like, yeah, come Friday you are salivating for it? Lauren: Like, yeah and I think we talk about this in probably almost every single podcast but like the Pink Polar Bear effect, when you tell yourself you can't have something, you want it more and actually something that was really interesting, I think it was another Tracy Mann study who we're going to have on the podcast soon too shows that when you restrict your food you are more likely to notice food around you and that's by design, right. So when we were at real risk for starving we were more likely to notice when food was around us and that was helpful to us back then, but now with food everywhere it's not so helpful but when you restrict your food or tell yourself you can't have that food, you notice food more around you I mean, which is super interesting. Annie: I think if you are trying to get pregnant, have been pregnant, the thing that comes to mind is like, when we started trying to conceive with my children, you know, it was like all I saw was pregnant- Lauren: Everyone- Annie: Everyone was pregnant right, like, the farmer's market was just full of pregnant women. Lauren: Or you ever get a new car and then you've never seen that car before and now you see it everywhere and like everyone has your car. Annie: Yes, the power of suggestion, right? Lauren: Yeah. Annie: OK claim number 3, this is kind of what I was hinting at earlier is that meals make it easier to stay on track, which- Lauren: Yeah. Annie: Tell me about that, Lauren. Lauren: Well, so your cheat meal on Friday night leads you to your cheat day on Saturday which leads you to your cheat day on Sunday. Normally I could cut it back off for Monday morning but trying to just do one cheat meal over the weekend and then stop is really difficult and I think most of our listeners who have been through this can completely understand where we're coming with this. Annie: And I think it's really common, you know, if you first start implementing the philosophy of cheat meals to be like "OK, cheat meal one and done" and then, you know, a few months later it's like a cheat meal Friday night goes into breakfast Saturday and then after a year of cheat mealing it you're like "Oh, look, my whole weekend is now a cheat meal, which is essentially my experience." Lauren: Right and then it's like what are you working so hard Monday through Thursday for, right? You're just torturing yourself for no reason. Annie: Right and the other thing that's kind of actually thinking about it in those terms, we've talked a lot about Weight Watchers, I've been a member multiple, multiple times but that's essentially what I was doing around weigh ins was I would kind of white knuckle it, restrict, restrict, restrict pre-weigh in and I would go weigh in so I could weigh in light and reach my goal for the week and then after the weigh in it was game on, like, finally, just give me the foods that I was saying I couldn't have before I weighed in and which leads us right into why or how rather cheat days can create the perfect storm for yo yo dieting, weight loss, weight gain, weight loss, weight gain, weight loss, weight gain is essentially what we're saying, Lauren and I are saying is that you spend, you know, 3, 4, 5 days dieting, dieting, dieting, dieting, restricting, restricting, restricting and then the other 2, 3, 4 days game on, all in, I'm just going to eat whatever I want, you get a case of the screw its and that's like, "Let's go, right?" Lauren: Yeah for sure and then, we're kind of talking about this as week and weekend but there's also like the seasonal thing, right, like we just got over, we just got done the holidays, right that's a big thing too, like, you diet, diet, diet up to the holidays and then you go crazy until, you know, sometimes the beginning of January, sometimes it's until the spring, right and then you just repeat that again. So this can be like shorter, like weekly or it can be even shorter than that, like, sometimes you'll see people trying to eat as little as possible throughout the day and then they go crazy at night, right? They can't stop eating at night, like, after their kids go to bed or when they get home for work or whatever, so it could be a short of a time frame as that, it could be a week, it could be months. But yeah, it's kind of all the same, even though it's different. Annie:Yeah and I just want to say, I want to reiterate that the restrictive diet that's paired with the cheat days or cheat meals is what makes it necessary, "feel necessary" to eat all those foods because your hunger, you're hungry, you're thinking about all the foods you said you couldn't eat and your quantities have likely been repressed before that and so you want to eat a high volume of foods and then you combine that with what we're talking about with the lab rats earlier, like, you know, you get this addiction-like response because you've been restricting these foods, it's not because the foods themselves are addictive. it's the manner in which you present the foods to yourself. Lauren: Right, it's like we always talk about it's the diets, like, it feeds itself, right, like you go on a diet and going on the diet causes you to overeat which causes you, you know, shame and guilt and all these feelings which make you want to diet again, it just goes in a circle it over and over and over. Annie: Yes, so how do you enjoy treats without cheat days? Lauren: Well, you want to start not at the cheat day part ,you want to start at the diet part. Annie: Yes, so many people are- Lauren: So make your diet not so restrictive and you, like, you just said you don't have that strong desire and strong need to overeat all the things. Annie: Right. It's not, the answer isn't eat everything in sight all the time and it's not, also on the flip side, to eat only healthy or "good" foods and never eat treats again, the answer is daily consistent moderation. Lauren: Well, there is that word again, moderation. Annie: It just keeps coming up. It's so weird. And that's finding a balance between the food you love and a way of eating that helps you live your life and show up in your life as your best self. So instead of cutting out sweets and treats or pizza or tacos or whatever it is or waiting until the weekend, you plan to enjoy a reasonable amount of treats or pizza or tacos throughout the week and you know and you might have some variations of that, so obviously you are not going to probably choose to eat a cheat meal for the whole, or what you would traditionally eat at a cheap meal, you know, I'm thinking of someone who is currently listening and they're like imposing the cheat meal philosophy. You might have a little bit of a pendulum swing where while you're, as Lauren said, trying to stop this process in the restriction, you might feel that your cheat meal carries on for a week or a couple weeks and you eat all the foods but eventually, in our experience, as Lauren said and we've shared this on the podcast before, you're probably going to find that if you continue to cheat meal type foods, whatever that looks like to you, over the long haul you're probably not going to feel very good. Like you just aren't and again, we just shared this on our last podcast that we recorded that the diet industry wants you to believe that if you are left to your own devices you will sit on the couch, eat all the foods all the time and do nothing, right, that's what they want us to believe but we would offer that if left to your own devices, our bodies naturally crave a variety of foods, balance, moderation, movement, variety and so one way to implement moderation is to allow yourselves to eat those cheat meal foods throughout the week, not just on the weekends or not just when you have those designated, like, "I'm allowed to eat this" moment. Lauren: Right and it's not, you don't need to confine yourself to just "diet foods" right, like, eat foods that you enjoy and eat enough of them to sustain you and you won't feel that crazy desire to eat all the things that taste good and are super hyper palatable and it's just, it's exactly that going from one side of the pendulum to the other to in the middle. Annie: Yeah, because part of finding balance whether it's with food or exercise or anything, anything in life when you're trying to find balance, part of finding balance is experimenting what feels like too much and what feels like too little. I mean, even, you know, like, thinking about, like, you're learning to drive a car, which is another analogy we've used before. You know, when I watch my kids drive a car when they turn, you know, a car, they're not driving my car, just to be clear, you know, whether to drive like a go cart or a video game, when they turn, they crank the wheel hard and when they stop they push the brake hard and when they press the gas pedal, they push the gas hard and they have to just learn that, like, that was too much, this is too little. I got to find that balance in between what's just enough for me. It's like Goldilocks, right? Lauren: Yeah and we see this all the time in our Balance365 community and the Healthy Habits Happy Moms community. Someone will be like, well I tried this for a day and I ate all the things that didn't work and now I don't feel good, right, like, you are not, you have to realize you are not going to get this right on the 1st try, like, it takes trial and error. But going through that process is worth it in the end, like it's not going to take forever, it will take some time to figure out but then you have it and you know and you know what's too much and you know what works for you. Annie: Yeah, so if you're someone that's listening, I'm thinking of myself when I was 20, you know, 2 or 23 and I was doing cheat meals on a Friday night. I guarantee if I let go of that restriction during the week, cheat meals on the weekend sort of thing I would have had a period where my pendulum swung in the opposite direction and I would have been pizza, tacos, chips like a steady diet of just those three foods, like no vegetables, no fruit, very little, you know, protein. And I would have I would have eventually have come out of it and in fact, I did, that's essentially what I did is, like, let go of that process was I had to move through some of this, like, "OK, I'm going to experiment what feels like too much food and then I'm going to let my pendulum kind of settle somewhere in the middle which is now I'm able to enjoy pizza and tacos and chips, you know, as little or as much as I see fit and I'm completely neutral about it." Lauren: Yeah and we're not saying, you know, you're never going to eat another vegetable again, like, once I kind of find, once you, say, sort of start settling back in the middle, that's when it's really helpful to kind of adopt these other healthy habits that we teach in Balance365 like adding your vegetables and making sure you're going enough protein but doing it from the mindset, from a balanced mindset instead of a diet mindset, it makes all the difference. Annie: Yeah and I think too, you know, just to wrap up, remembering that this is a process, right, like we were just saying that it's going to be a practice, it's going to be an evolution. And you might have some missteps but we encourage our Balance365 members to look at this as like an experiment and it's just kind of information that you're gathering about yourself so you can, you know, that saying when you know better, you can do better and you can make different choices based off of your needs the more information you have about yourself. But, all in all, we would we would largely encourage moderation over cheat meals, for all the reasons we just listed previously but we think that really promotes a healthy relationship with food and that way you get to eat your pizza and your Cheetos, next to your kale. Lauren: That was a different podcast. Annie: I know but it still applies, it still applies, you can have it all and kale. Lauren: Yes. Annie: OK, good, we crushed that, Lauren. Lauren: Yeah we did. Annie: Yeah and if you need, if we say so ourselves, if you need help, if you're currently like cheat mealing it up and you're like, "OK, yeah, I hear what they're saying, this isn't working for me anymore, I don't want to continue this" and you want support and you're not already in our Facebook group please join us. It is a free private Facebook group. We are Healthy Habits Happy Moms on Facebook we have 40,000 plus, and growing daily, women in our group that would encourage you, love to encourage you and cheer and clap for you and support you as you find out what balance and moderation looks like in your diet. Lauren: Yeah. Annie: Alright, thanks, Lauren. Lauren: Alright. Bye. Annie: Bye…
Secrets from the Eating Lab Author Dr. Traci Mann, professor of Psychology at the University of Minnesota and an expert on the psychology of eating, dieting and self-control joins Jen, Annie and Lauren in discussing the science behind the hot topics of self-control, temptation, diets and the alternative to dieting. What you’ll hear in this episode: How much of our weight can we influence? How much of our weight is influenced by genetics? The concept of the Leanest Livable Weight Goal weights and reasonable ranges Weight regain and dieting – how common is it? Why you regain weight after dieting What happens to your body when you go on a diet What you start to notice when you go on a diet Is weight regain guaranteed? Characteristic of people who keep weight off The role of healthy movement you enjoy in maintaining weight loss Self-control: who struggles with it and can you increase it? The obesogenic environment: what it is Temptation free checkouts and apple bins, reducing the need for willpower at the grocery store The role of small obstacles and inconveniences Making healthy choices convenient to increase compliance Keeping the focus on health instead of weight Resources: Secrets from the Eating Lab Dr. Mann’s Facebook Page Dr. Mann on Twitter Episode 4: What A 70-year-old Starvation Experiment Taught Us About Dieting Learn more about Balance365 Life here Subscribe on Apple Podcasts , Spotify , Google Play , or Android so you never miss a new episode! Visit us on Facebook | Follow us on Instagram | Check us out on Pinterest Join our free Facebook group with over 40k women just like you! Did you enjoy the podcast? Leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or Google Play ! It helps us get in front of new listeners so we can keep making great content. Transcript Annie: Welcome back to another episode of Balance365 Life radio. Before we get into today’s podcast episode with an amazing guest, I want to share with you a super sweet message that we received from one of our community members on Facebook today. Christy says “I have been a part of Healthy Habits Happy Moms for almost 2 years now and a Balance365er since May of 2018. I am all in to the way this group thinks and believes. I’m at the point now that when I workout I channel Annie Brees, when I mention establishing habits to coworkers I channel Lauren Koski and when I’m trying to give some perspective to friends about diet culture and treating myself well I channel Jennifer Campbell. I can’t thank the three of you enough for how you have changed my outlook and daily life. I’m chipping away at the program but at this point my greatest takeaway is the way I live out each day because of this new perspective. I can go on and on but I just have to give a big thanks to Jennifer, Annie and Lauren. Thank you so much, Christy and I want to share with all of our community members that any email, any message, any direct message on Instagram we read them all and we are so appreciative of any reviews that you share on the podcast. We love them all. We cannot thank you enough. Alright, let’s jump into this podcast because I’m super excited about it. I’m not sure if we have referenced any other book on this podcast as much as we have her book, Secrets from the Eating Lab by Dr Traci Mann. Dr. Mann is a professor of Psychology at the University of Minnesota and an expert on the psychology of eating, dieting and self-control. In addition to all her impressive professional experience, she’s also a mom who loves those ice cream, super relatable, hey? If you’re curious about how much control we really have over our weight, how you can avoid temptation and why diets don’t work and what to do instead then you have to listen to this interview with Dr Mann. Enjoy! Jen and Lauren, we have a special, special guest are you two pumped for the show or what? Lauren: So pumped. Jen: Yes, I’ve been waiting. We arranged this well before Christmas I think so I’ve just been like vibrating waiting for it. Annie: Yes and what our listeners didn’t catch before we started recording was Jen gushing for about 10 minutes about how she loves Dr Traci Mann. Welcome to the show, thank you for joining us. Dr. Mann: Well, thanks for having me, you guys are so nice. Annie: We, the 3 of us have read your book, The Secrets from the Eating Lab and we reference studies, quotes, information from this book so often in our community and our podcast if they haven’t read it, if listeners haven’t read it we would highly recommend it and it’s heavy on the science because you’re a researcher but I wasn’t overwhelmed by the science when I was reading it. I felt it was very like, I could understand the concepts that you were sharing. So, thank you so much for joining us. Dr. Mann: I would also say I’m sure I shouldn’t say this but it’s free Kindle right now. Jen: OK. Annie: Oh my! How long is it going to be free for? Dr. Mann: You know, I have a vague memory of agreeing to this with my agent like a year ago thinking it was like a month long thing and I think it’s possibly forever, I don’t know. Jen: OK we will Dr. Mann:-never sell another book. So, whatever, it’s fine. Annie: Well I will- Dr. Mann: Better people read it than buy it. Annie: say if you look at the 3 of our copies they are highlighted, like top to bottom, they have been like, right, like, they’ve been used, they’ve been well loved. Lauren: I think the name Traci Mann has been on probably 90 percent of our podcast. Jen: Yeah and this, so I have this page highlighted, what I was gushing about before we hit record was how Traci, Dr. Traci, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to- Dr. Mann: Just call me Traci. Annie: We’re besties now. Jen: So you are very much a messy middle writer in that you really objectively look at the research, you haven’t gone headfirst into any kind of movement or philosophy and just looked at research to support your philosophy, you’ve looked at the research which has allowed you to come up with a very objective, balanced message. Dr. Mann: That was the goal for sure. Jen: And so I just I highlighted this a long time ago because it was perfect. It says, it’s on page 20 and so what we hear a lot and what our audience is very aware of is that we hear two things, we hear that you cannot control your weight, you should not even try to lose weight, it’s pointless, your weight is predetermined, what you have, what you’ve got, that’s what you’re going to have forever and then on the other side of the spectrum, we have this whole industry of transformations that it is totally realistic and sustainable to lose half your body weight forever etc, etc. When what we actually know and what the research provides is is that you, it’s actually like in the middle but what you had written and I feel like I was waiting for this message. When I found your book I felt like “I have arrived. I am home. Like, this is what I have been looking for, somebody who is just sensible.” And you say, “I’m not saying you can’t influence your weight at all, just that the amount of influence you have is limited and you’ll generally end up within your genetically determined set weight range” and I thought that was so perfect in that you’re not willing to say you cannot control your weight, you’re trying to say “Hey, we can influence our weight, it’s just not to the level that you have been led to believe by the fad diet industry.” Dr. Mann: Exactly. That’s right so it’s partly genetic, but not 100 percent genetic. Jen: Right and isn’t there a percentage? Dr. Mann: I think it was 70%- Jen: Yes I think it was 70% but you have a, there’s about a range of 30 percent in there that you can influence your weight. Dr. Mann: Yeah and I mean, it’s not just that and it’s really interesting that people are staking out these extreme positions, you know, it’s like, “Come on, people, nothing is black and white like that.” Jen: Right. Dr. Mann: But with the weight thing, it’s not just, it’s not the case that you can’t maneuver your weight around to some extent, obviously you can’t, like you just said, you can’t lose half your body weight but you can move it around to some extent but the problem is that it’s really hard, it’s hard to move it around a lot. It’s not hard to move it around a little. Jen: Right. Dr. Mann: And that’s mostly what we talk about in the book is ways to move it around a little without it taking over your life. Jen: Right. Dr. Mann: But to move it around a lot, it’s not that it can’t be done, it’s just that it’s really, really hard. Jen: And it’s very, it can be hard on us physically and psychologically to be trying to move our weight around to those different extreme ends. Dr. Mann: Yeah, exactly. That’s why I like to talk about this Leanest Liveable Weight idea. By Leanest Livable Weight I mean it’s the lowest weight that you can comfortably have without having to work so hard at it. Jen: Right. Dr. Mann: Because the leanest weight you can live at comfortably, now that has been misinterpreted by the lovely people like GOOP.com – the lowest weight you can actually survive at without dying. Jen: Right and that’s not what any of us here are trying to talk about. That’s what a lot of women are trying to be and they might they may not even realize it, that that’s what they’re actually trying to achieve but that’s definitely not healthy, physically or psychologically. Annie: And I just want to add to that we’ve worked with thousands of women across the span of the globe and one of the common themes that keeps coming up for women is goal weights or they have this like ideal body weight and oftentimes if you asked them, like, “Well, where did that weight come from?” it’s, like, so, like, not evidence based, it’s like, “Oh I weighed that when I graduated high school or that’s what I weighed on I wedding day or that’s my pre-pregnancy weight” and it might not be realistic. Dr. Mann: Or it sounds good. Annie: Yeah, or that’s what I read on some chart in, you know, I even remember coming across a scale in the mall bathroom, why there was a scale in the mall bathroom I don’t know but it had a chart of, like, body weights and like this is if you’re large frame, small frame. And it’s really not realistic, usually not realistic for those goal weights. So we love the idea that you have a range because as a woman I know that my weight can fluctuate you know 10-15 pounds versus in a month, in a year, how would you recommend going about determining a reasonable range of weight for someone? Dr. Mann: Yeah, that’s a really good question. That’s the hardest question to answer and the question I’m least likely to be able to satisfy you with an answer to because there isn’t, like, a scientific formula to figure out your sort of set range, so instead you have to just kind of make a guess based on your sort of knowledge of what your weight has done over your life and a lot of people notice that there’s a certain weight area that they keep coming back to. So they lose some weight but then they come back to this weight or they gain some weight but then they plop down in this weight without even trying very hard and so if it’s, you know, the weight that your body seems to keep wanting to come back to that’s probably right there, right there in the set range, right where your body is trying to keep you because you’re good at it. Annie: Yeah, in your book and I know there’s going to be people they’re going to say, they’re going to scoff at this but you didn’t just look at people that have lost weight and then regained it, you also looked at people that were trying, studies that have tried to get people to gain weight and it was hard to even maintain a weight gain as well, which further supports the idea that, like, this is where your body can effortlessly live or with minimal effort. Dr. Mann: Right, it’s true and then the weight gains that are particularly interesting because so many people think, you know, I am so careful with what I eat, if I wasn’t this careful I would for sure gain a whole ton of weight. Lauren: Yes, we hear that all the time. Dr. Mann: Yeah, you do, you know, I think people really worry about that and I think partly why they worry about it is because if they do eat a lot more than normal for a while, they do gain weight, but they only gain a certain amount of weight, you know what I mean? So maybe you’ll gain your 5 pounds or 10 pounds but you’re not going to gain 50 pounds, you know, or if you do you’ll come back down pretty easily. Jen: Right, we see a pendulum swing happen quite often with women who are coming off dieting, if they have spent a decade of their life dieting. We see this pendulum swing where they go from, you know, one weight and the pendulum swings up to a higher weight that they are comfortable with or that is maybe within their set point range but then it settles down somewhere in the middle and we talk about that and you reference this in your book, The Minnesota Starvation Experiment. Dr. Mann: Right. Jen: So if you are coming from years and years and years of restriction, you look at, we have a whole podcast on the Minnesota Starvation Experiment. So if you are coming from a period of very severe restriction, the pendulum swing is almost an expectation, it’s almost, like, we would say it’s a normal and natural response to dieting. Dr. Mann: Oh exactly, it exactly is. I mean, we all need to reframe how we think about dieting. When people think about dieting, they think of that initial weight loss and that’s their image of dieting and then they assume once they have that initial weight loss, they just stay down there. Jen: Right. Dr. Mann: But actually, if you followed all the research looking longer at dieters, you see it’s completely predictable that the weight comes back on. Jen: Right. Dr. Mann: There’s a tiny, tiny minority of people who keep it off. Jen: Right. Dr. Mann: But for the majority of people, it just comes back on, you know, over the next like 2, 3, 4, 5 years. So we need to realize that that is a normal part of dieting and not a failure by any particular individual dieter. Jen: Right, right. Dr. Mann: And the thing is they always blame themselves for that. Jen: For that pendulum swing. Dr. Mann: That’s just what happens. Your body needs that to happen, your body is making that happen. Jen: Yeah, it’s like, I think you also, I think we’ve used this analogy and I think it came from your book, it’s like gasping for air after holding your breath. Dr. Mann: Right, I didn’t invent that analogy but I did include it, yes. Jen: Yes. Dr. Mann: Yes, it’s true. I feel like anything I say you’ve already talked about but I mean the things that happen when you restrict for a while. Your body, of course, doesn’t know you want to look thinner, your body thinks you’re in the process of starving to death and so it makes these alterations to save you which is so kind of it and yet everyone gets so mad about that because all those changes that save you from starving to death, make, basically make it very, very, very easy to regain the weight. Jen: Right and it probably, well, you can correct me if I’m wrong, it doesn’t really matter what size you are, if you are 120 pounds or if you’re 220 pounds when you do that restriction, your body still, you know, it doesn’t matter how much body fat you have, your body still thinks you are starving. Dr. Mann: Right, if your body detects that much less is coming in than it than expected then it just, all these changes just click on, you know, your metabolism changes, uh oh, now you have to eat less to keep losing weight. Jen: Right. Dr. Mann: Hormone levels change, uh oh, you’re going to feel hungry. Jen: Yeah. Dr. Mann: When you eat an amount of food that didn’t used to make you feel hungry, you know and then there’s all these attention changes too, right? So you notice food more if it’s around, you can’t get your mind off it once you start thinking about it, so all those things make regaining the weight way too easy and keeping it off way too hard. It doesn’t make it impossible, though and so this is a key, another key thing that I think people sometimes don’t realize. Any person who knows someone who has lost weight and kept it off, you know, comes and says to me “You can’t say that your body does this stuff, you can’t say your body makes these changes that cause you to regain the weight because I know people who’ve kept it off.” Well I’m not saying that these changes make it impossible to keep off the weight, I’m saying these changes make it really, really hard to keep off the weight. So hard that most people can’t do it. Jen: Right. We were talking before we hit record, again, another thing I had brought up is that because we are, you know, we try to navigate that messy middle and help women figure out what’s right for them, I had said, you know, hearing these two, I remember when I was first getting into this and starting to read about it like 4 to 5 years ago, I would start hearing that extreme messaging “You can’t keep off weight, you just can’t” and actually my husband has lost about 60 pounds, he was, I think, he was about 300 pounds when he graduated high school and now he sits at between kind of 220 and 245, I think. I mean, he’s going to be horrified that I’m talking about this but anyways but that just, that comes very naturally to him to kind of sit around there and so I would, you know, I was the same as those people. I kept hearing that it’s impossible to lose weight and I thought, he has now kept that off for 20 years and he’s not working, like, I don’t see him get up every day and like work at it, he’s not like, he’s not micromanaging his food, he’s not, he has some great habits, he, you know, he eats balanced meals, he tries to get to the gym 3 to 4 times a week but he’s lived a high stress life like the rest of us, he’s had kids, gone to grad school, all of that and so that just didn’t sit well with me and I thought, instead of looking at everybody who is failing, what are these successful people doing? Like why are they able to do it? Which kind of comes why, again, why your book is so refreshing, because you sort of, you’ve got that sort of nailed. Dr. Mann: Well, you know, I mean, I don’t even know and it’s interesting how you describe your husband as not having to work at keeping it off. Because what the research shows of the people who lose weight and keep it off is that those people are, you know, fairly obsessed with every little calorie that goes into their body and with every little bit of exercise they do to burn calories. So that’s what I expect to hear when I hear that people kept it off for a long time but one thing that I’ve been wondering about lately and no one has done the study that I know of and I don’t actually even know how to do this study but I’ve been wondering like, the people who lose a lot of weight and keep it off are those people who had happened to recently gain a bunch of weight but weren’t normally really heavy? You know what I mean, like I’m wondering if those who end up taking, you know, people who have had this unusual weight gain as opposed to people who are just always some high weight and took it off. Lauren: Yeah we see. Jen: I have theories. Go ahead, Lauren. Lauren: Yeah, we kind of see this and this is, I think, kind of in my story too, we see people who start dieting at a young age, right and then they just keep putting on weight as they do the rebound and you know, their weight wasn’t maybe supposed to be quite that high but because of the dieting it keeps going up. Dr. Mann: It got inflated from their- Lauren: Yeah and so for me, when I, after I stopped dieting and I did gain a lot of weight, when I finally went came to this place of balance my weight did go down and I think it’s kind of just like that it came back to its normal range. Jen: My husband also, I haven’t seen any research on this, he has put on a significant amount of muscle over the years so he, you know, at 18 years old, he didn’t go to the gym. He just, you know, his body composition is completely different, he, you can just tell by looking at pictures of him that he had a substantial amount of body fat and then after he left high school he got into boxing and ended up boxing professionally or sorry I should say semi professional, he’s just going to die, when he listens to this, I’ll just give him a little plug, he won the gold medal at the Canadian games in 2007 for boxing. Dr. Mann: Wow. Jen: I know, amazing, but he just gets so embarrassed when I talk about this. Dr. Mann: You know, just to revise what I was saying, he’s an elite athlete. Jen: Well, he wouldn’t, I wouldn’t say now, I think he’s got more like Dad bod now but he did, he just, he got into, so what we tell our girls in Balance365 is to find movement they like, like if you and you talk about this in your book that if you don’t like what you’re doing you’re never going to stick to it and so when I say my husband doesn’t work at it, it’s not that he doesn’t prioritize exercise and doesn’t prioritize a balanced way to eat, he really enjoys that so it’s not that, so I think what what happens is there are people out there that are just never, they’re never going to enjoy my husband’s lifestyle. I’m not athletic and I am not competitive. I would never have enjoyed training for a boxing match like that or several boxing matches so, but through that- Dr. Mann: I don’t think I would like that either. Jen: Right and so you have to kind of go, you know, and Annie, for example, Annie crossfits like 4-5 times a week which helps her to sustain that 40 pound fat loss that she has done but and so it’s like Annie, personally, doesn’t feel like she wakes up in the morning and micromanages her weight loss, however if I had to get up everyday and go to Crossfit 4-5 times a week, that would feel like I was micromanaging my loss, do you know what I’m saying? Dr. Mann: Yeah, it’s true, so everyone needs to just find a sort of a set of lifestyle habits that aren’t soul crushing for them. Jen: Right, for them and that’s the sort of key that it’s like, what do you like to do and it may not be what somebody else does and so you won’t get the results that person has gotten but hey, that’s OK, like, let’s just be sensible here kind of thing. Dr. Mann: True, I mean, like in the last year or so I’ve had this just chronic hamstring injury, just won’t get better no matter how long it just doesn’t get better and you know, finally my physical therapist was like, you know, it doesn’t hurt when you do spin class, doesn’t hurt when you do yoga, it hurts when you run. It’s like exactly that part of the answer and she’s like “You have to not run” and somehow, her saying that I don’t have to go all winter onto the treadmill, it’s like so freeing to allow myself to do the kinds of exercise that I, I don’t want to say enjoy but that I don’t hate. Annie: Right. Dr. Mann: Even though to me they don’t seem as potent You know, I mean like, my brain is running this but I feel like, you know, all signs are that I’m just as healthy as if I were running as long as I’m doing these other activities and it’s not miserable. Jen: Right. Dr. Mann: So thank you, Christina, for freeing me from feeling like I have to use the freaking treadmill. Lauren: Can I, can I go back to, I want to go back to something that Jen said because this. is something that I’ve been wondering about when we hear this about the set weight range is that total weight or is that like fat percentage? Because we do see people who do build muscle, right and they’re the same weight but their body composition is very different, like, how do you know how that plays into this? Dr. Mann: I don’t. I don’t recall ever hearing anyone talking about set weight ranges in any way other than referring to weight. I’ve not heard anyone describe it in terms of muscle mass. Lauren: OK. It’s always something I’ve wondered. Dr. Mann: I don’t think people have, yeah, at least I’ve not encountered it. Jen: Yeah, I’m curious. If you end up putting on this muscle mass and it leads to your total body weight being, you know, a little bit- Lauren: Are the same as what your mass was with less muscle then is that sort of like a “trick” for your body in that it’s like, oh, we’re, you know, we’re the same weight and so you see people that change their body but your body is like “But I still weigh this much and I still need this amount of calories to sustain me.” That might be a future research project for you. Annie: That would reflect my experience, for sure because I have, like, probably a 6 to 7 I would say pound weight range that I have not budged from for maybe a couple years but my body composition has changed within that. A couple of percent, I mean, to me it’s been noticeable but I cannot, like, I have to work really, really hard to get out of that range either above or below it. Dr. Mann: That’s really interesting. So yeah, that might be a good trick, you know, don’t worry about the number, just try to replace some more of that fat with more muscle. Jen: Yeah and I think my husband probably has benefited hugely from his, his body composition is completely different than when he was 18 and I think he’s still a very heavy man, right he’s still like 240 pounds, he’s a heavy man but he’s not, he just has way less fat mass and more muscle mass on him, right? Dr. Mann: That’s great. I never thought about that, very interesting. Jen: Alright. Annie: We will come be your test subjects. Jen: Yes. Lauren: Yes. Annie: Be happy to take a trip to the eating lab up north or kind of down south. Jen: Down south for me. Annie: Yeah, for Jen. Dr. Mann: You’re in Canada. Jen: Yeah, I’m in British Columbia. Yeah. Annie: Yeah, I feel like that’s kind of a good segue talking about, you know, how much your habits or lack thereof kind of consume you because one of the most common comments we get from members or of our community is that they feel like they just need more willpower, more motivation, more self-discipline and if they have those things then they could, like, just stick to their diet, they could stick to their plan, they could reach their goals, right and I know that as a researcher of self-discipline you’ve noted that you’ve heard that echoed as well, that when you share with people that you’re researching that they’re like “Oh yeah, I want more of that” or “How do I get more of that?” In your experience, is more willpower needed? Is that what people are missing? Dr. Mann: No, no, people are missing, so every dieter thinks they are uniquely bad at resisting tempting food, you know, I mean, like, something you sort of alluded to it but constantly people come up to me after talks and or like before talks, “Oh God, self-control, I need more of that, you know, that’s a good thing that I happen to need, me alone, you know,” but everyone is bad at self-control. Everyone struggles with their willpower, thin people, fat people and everyone in between. It’s not the thing that tells us who is going to end up thin and who’s not, you know what I mean, everyone struggles with it, in fact, there’s these, this group of psychologists called positive psychologists that study, like, human strengths, so things like kindness or creativity, or thoughtfulness and what they find is that like the kinds of things that all range really highly kindness, thoughtfulness, people generally believe that they are kind and generally believe they’re thoughtful, the one that comes in dead last every time is self-control. People do not think they have self-control and they’ve repeated that kind of survey in like 53 countries. Jen: Wow. Dr. Mann: It was always at or very, very near the bottom. Nobody thinks they have good self-control, it’s not, it’s not unique to dieters, it’s everyone and it wouldn’t matter if everybody had great self-control because of the environment we all live in and there’s probably no amount that would be enough to survive the onslaught of temptation every minute of the day. Jen: Is this what you would say is the obesogenic environment? Dr. Mann: Yeah, exactly and that is what we’re living in and I mean, I shouldn’t have to try to resist buying a candy bar when I’m in Office Depot, buying paper for my printer. Jen: Right and you don’t. Dr. Mann: That should not be a temptation challenge, you know. Jen: Right. Dr. Mann: You know, it’s everywhere, all the time. Jen: Right, there’s candy, I don’t know if you guys have staples down there but we have Staples and it’s like an Office Depot and there is candy at the checkout, it’s everywhere. Dr. Mann: A huge selection, I mean and really kind of awesome candy selection. Jen: Yeah. Dr. Mann: At office supply stores for some reason. Jen: So there’s and there’s, I don’t know if this is same down there, but in Canada there is a push to have, like, basically temptation free aisles, so candy free aisles specifically for parents bringing their children to shop because I just argue with my kids nonstop about not buying candy, so then it becomes this thing that children begin to focus on and then they develop these scarcity issues or because there’s just candy and they see it and you’re saying no but and so the other thing that they’ve started offering in grocery stores here is they have apple bins for children so when you are shopping with your kids you take your kids to the apple bin and they can munch on an apple while you’re shopping and this kind of stuff is brilliant, I think. Dr. Mann: Definitely, you know, it all fits the sort of general basic strategy of rearranging things so that you don’t keep encountering temptation. Jen: Right. Dr. Mann: If you don’t encounter it, you’re not going to have it. Annie: And that was kind of like a, I don’t want to say a will power hack, but that was one of the things you mentioned in your book that, like, you don’t have to rely so much on willpower or self-control or self-discipline or say no all the time if you can curate your environment to reduce those temptations, right ? Dr. Mann: Yeah, exactly. Ideally you don’t want to ever have to say no, you know, ideally you just don’t want to come up, you know. Once a food is on your plate, for example, forget it, you’re eating it. Jen: Right. Dr. Mann: If you want to keep things from getting to that point where there’s no hope of resisting it. Jen: Right and we, like, even small things, we were talking about this with our Balance365 community the other day. Simple things like dishing up dinner at the island or on the stove and taking it to the table rather than having all your dishes on the table to dish up from is just a really small hack that you could use to not have seconds or to not, you know, over dish up kind of thing. Dr. Mann: Yeah, exactly and that works because, as we talk about a lot in the book, because people are lazy and small obstacles slow us or stop us. That’s a small obstacle. I could get up from the table and walk 4 feet. That is shocking how many people that stops. Lauren: And I’ve heard you talk about it’s not even just getting up but just moving it further than your arm can reach. Dr. Mann: There’s actually a study that shows that one of my colleagues in the Netherlands literally straining your arm is enough to slow people down. Annie: That’s like the, there’s, I have a salt lamp on the opposite side of my room when I turn it on at night and half the time I get into bed and I’m like “Ugh, that lamp is still on” and I swear more often than not I just sleep with it on because I’m too lazy to get out of bed to turn the lamp on, so like I cannot be inconvenienced. Dr. Mann: I am going to one up you on that sometimes I’m in bed on my back but I really prefer to sleep on my side and I just can’t muster the energy to like just friggin roll half my body over, half! Annie: That and you actually, you actually cover small inconveniences or small opticals is also covered in your book because you tell a story about is it toilet paper. Dr. Mann: Yes, I read that online, as, I was so excited when I read that online so it was a budget tip for strapped households was to when you get the roll toilet paper to smush it a little so that it doesn’t turn easily. Jen: Brilliant. Dr. Mann: You know, so when you go to pull it off it tears off right away, so that leads people to use less toilet paper. Jen: That, I need that for my children. Dr. Mann: Actually it’s good for if you have kids. Jen: They plug the toilet. I’m in there with the plunger once a week. Dr. Mann: It would also help with that but you know, just the fact that it stops a regular adult person from using more toilet paper is another example of how small, miniscule obstacles actually really slow us down. Jen: And Lauren, Lauren only buys single servings of ice cream so that was another one. Lauren: Well, they have them at Kroger, like the little ones ,they’re, like, you know, like, this big instead of the pint or the gallon. Annie: They’re like a little cup or like six ounces or something, 8 ounces. Lauren: Yeah or I just go out to like Dairy Queen or something instead of buying the whole gallon in my house. Dr. Mann: Buy the one. Lauren: Or even just for me is like if we make cookies or something, just putting them in the cabinet and sort of leaving them on the counter, right, we used to just leave it on the counter but if I just put it in the cabinet where I don’t see it every time I walk in the kitchen I end up just forgetting about it. Dr. Mann: Yes, keep temptations out of sights. Jen: We have a saying in our community. We also have a free Facebook community that has 40000 women in it, so they just participate in our philosophy, they haven’t bought our program but one thing we talk about in there is there’s this whole veggie tray revolution and so I started it a couple years ago and my aunt gave me a hand me down, an old circular Tupperware veggie tray and I stocked that veggie tray Sundays and Wednesdays because, like, we just eat it all by Wednesdays now, so that has substantially, and having that front and center in my fridge has substantially increased my family’s vegetable intake and I even take it out during meals. If we’re having grilled cheese sandwiches, the veggie tray will go on the table. Dr. Mann: And so it’s all prepared, like, they’re all clean. Jen: Yes, I have washed them, I chopped them I and I just it’s like, if I just need to do the minimum to set us up for success for the week it’s just that veggie tray takes me under 10 minutes and so we open the fridge and it’s just right there and we’ve also moved our treats to the cupboard above the fridge so I need to get a stool out to get out chocolate and chips and you know, people, you know, these things are simple and they work, you know, and but people just, you know, you tell them but they just, if they’re not, they’re still looking there’s like this magic pill thing going on. They don’t think it can be that simple but it is. Dr. Mann: And so the veggie tray is a good example of removing the obstacles to do something healthy. Jen: Exactly, yes, exactly. Dr. Mann: If you look in the fridge and you want a snack, you’re not going to like pull open the veggie bin, you know, get out the beats, break them, clean them, cook them- Jen: No, I’m not. Dr. Mann: But if you do that ahead, and you have a little bowl or tupperware of roasted beets, you will eat them. Jen: Yes, absolutely. Dr. Mann: Vegetables are hard work. Jen: They are hard work and so is protein. So the other thing we’ve tried to bring to people’s attention is that carbs and fat are readily available to us in convenience form everywhere, so if you want to be eating a more balanced diet, focus your energy on getting protein and vegetables and fruit prepared and as convenient to you as the nuts and the seeds and the bread and you know all of that kind of thing, because they take a lot of prep work, right. So the other thing I do is I just throw some chicken breasts in a slow cooker on Sunday night and then I take it out and I shred it and I just have a little container of shredded chicken breast which I can throw in sandwiches or wraps or do you know what I mean? So- Dr. Mann: Yeah. Jen: So yeah, it’s little, little things like that have made the biggest difference in my life and in our Balance365ers as well. Dr. Mann: That’s great, that’s good, that’s just making it easier to do the healthy thing. Jen: Just environment. Dr. Mann: Harder to do the unhealthy thing. Jen: Yeah, just acknowledging that we’re lazy. Annie: And that’s across the board, like, your research has shown that it’s across the board, like humans in general are lazy, it’s not like these people, like, you know it’s not just me, Jen and Lauren that don’t want to prep our veggies or whatever, it’s like this is human nature and so and I feel like that’s kind of refreshing to hear because it’s not kind of, it’s very refreshing to hear because again, so many people are blaming themselves for why they can’t follow the diet, why they can’t stick with the program, it’s like, look you’re just human, like, you’re asking yourself to change a lot of things at once, to do a lot of stuff that’s really not in your wheelhouse. And it’s normal if you struggle with that. Dr. Mann: And also, can I just add, because sometimes people are like, well, all those strategies you’re saying just sound like, you know, dieting tips. Jen: Yes, they do. Dr. Mann: I don’t really mean them to be dieting tips, I mean them to be, these are just little things that you can just kind of have as habits in your life that will just help you stay in that sort of the lower part of your set point. I’m not saying that by moving the cookies to higher shelf you’re going to lose a ton of weight. Jen: Or that you should never have cookies, right. It’s not about, yeah. Dr. Mann: Right, exactly I’m just saying these are just some things that help you to just kind of stay on an even keel or maybe just aim for that slightly lower part of your set range that you’re already within. Jen: There’s, I wanted to address that too, as well because I feel like there is, as far as environment, there is a lot of tips you can use and they can be used as tools or they can be used as weapons against you, right and so in diet culture these things are often used as weapons and it’s funny because I used to some of the tools I use today to stay healthy, balanced and at a leaner weight, I used to use when I was dieting trying to live a weight below what was healthy for me and I was going hungry all the time, so what would happen to me was I wouldn’t buy the cookies, I wouldn’t buy the ice cream. I didn’t want any of that in my house because my cravings were so strong because I was going hungry all the time, so when that stuff was occasionally brought in my house I would eat it all. I would go nutso on a pint of ice cream in a night or a gallon and so it’s kind of like talking in a nuanced way, right, to go like, “You can use these as tools or you can use them as weapons, it all depends on where you’re at and what’s going on inside your head.” Dr. Mann: That’s really true and that’s a really important point that when you deny yourself something, when you restrict certain categories of foods or certain foods it’s going to eventually backfire. Jen: Right. Dr. Mann: It’s amazing how fast you start to want those things you restrict. I mean, we did a study like this, I think I talk about it in the book where we forbade people from eating a food that they didn’t even love, right, it was sort of in the middle for I can’t remember how long- Jen: 3 weeks I think. Dr. Mann: Yeah. Annie: Radishes. Jen: I feel like I just know your book. Annie: Radishes and chocolate for 3 weeks? Dr. Mann: I better know my details well, in any case, the point I was trying to make about that, the main point of that study just was that very quickly they started really wanting those things that they couldn’t have. So not worth it to deny yourself certain things and instead try to just eat those things in reasonable portions. So I cannot live without ice cream and there’s really no reason to do so but my ice cream trick, when you guys mentioned some of yours, I’ll add one more is I make my husband serve me because he will serve a reasonable portion and put it away and our freezer is crazy cold so it’s not even going to be easy to take more because it’s just, you know, he’ll wait and do what you need to do. So let people wait on you, folks. Annie: That’s just good life advice. Jen: Yes, the other one thing for your freezer- Lauren: I can get behind that. Jen: I bake for my kids for their school lunches and I keep it in the freezer so I, if I want banana chocolate chip muffin it’s totally fine but I have to think about that, right, I have to take it out and then I have to unthaw it in order for me to eat it where, you know, just talking about those barriers in environment, just putting a little bit of barrier between you and that thing causes you to pause and go “Do I really want this or is this just an impulse?” Dr. Mann: Exactly, you need that pause. My 14 year old son is obsessed with baking. Well, you know, classic pre-teen boy, you know, scrawny, looks like a paper clip, you know, no body fat at all. But he’s killing me there are constantly baking here and the good news is he’s obnoxious and doesn’t always let me have any because he wants to take it all the school because he brings it to a certain class, you know, there’s 24 kids in that class. Jen: Right. Dr. Mann: Every recipe makes 24 so he often doesn’t let me have any, thank God, but a lot of the time he does and it’s like once or twice a week this is going on in my house. Jen: Yeah. Dr. Mann: That’s a lot of like baking. Jen: Extra baking. Dr. Mann: That’s a lot of baking. Jen: Yes. Annie: So, Dr. Mann, I know we’re approaching an hour, I feel like we could do this for the whole time though or a couple hours at least, just to kind of wrap up, all of your research and your experience, personal and professional, inside your book as we’ve shared so much already, you provide a lot of gold little nuggets as to how people can improve their health, reframe their mindsets, even thinking about food in terms of healthy and unhealthy, how to alter their habits to support sustainable weight loss if that’s what they’re after but really, you seem to boil it down to just, as Jen said, sensible no-fuss advice, like exercise regularly and create reasonable eating habits and that you believe that that will help you reach your goals with minimal effort, is that really it? Because if so, that super refreshing. Dr. Mann: That is it. But I will elaborate a little bit because here’s where we have to get our heads and our heads are not there yet but where we need to get our heads is if we are exercising the recommended amount, which is 150 minutes per week if we are eating, you know, a reasonable number of servings of vegetables per day and if we’re keeping our stress level under control, not smoking, if we’re doing those things, whatever we weigh when we’re doing those things should be where we want to be. We need to define that weight as our perfect weight because that is what you weigh when you’re behaving in a healthy way. So, I don’t know, this comes up all the time with people. Everyone thinks “if I do the exercise I’m supposed to do I’ll get thin,” but that’s not true. Exercise doesn’t necessarily make you a lot thinner but it does make you healthier. What I keep pushing on people is “Behaving in healthy ways makes you healthier, even though it might not make you thinner or as much thinner as you want it to.” So whatever we weigh when we’re behaving in healthy ways we have got to find a way to be OK with that. Jen: Right, except you have a whole section on acceptance, right and let your, do what’s good for you and let your body be what it’s going to be and just accept this, like it’s actually so freeing. Dr. Mann: Yes, just if you keep the focus on health and not weight everything makes so much more sense. Jen: Yeah, I love that. Dr. Mann: You do these healthy behaviors, they make you healthier, but then again, maybe not thinner, maybe not as much thinner as you want. Annie: I wonder how many of our listeners minds are just like blowing right now hearing that. Like, behaving in a healthy way will make you healthier, it might not make you thinner but it will improve your health. Dr. Mann: Isn’t it crazy that that’s mind blowing? I said that to some radio guy one time and he’s like “I don’t know, that’s kind of a hard sell.” Lauren: You know, well, it’s only a hard sell because you have, you know, diet companies telling you the opposite everywhere all day, every day. Dr. Mann: Seriously, you know, And because people don’t actually value their health the way they all say they do. Jen: Yeah, they value thinness. Dr. Mann: Yeah, if people truly valued health, that wouldn’t be a remarkable thing to say at all. Jen: We had a psychologist post in our group the other day she had read your book preparing for this podcast and she said “I’m a psychologist and I’m reading this book and I feel my resistance towards it, like, I feel it” and she, but you know, she’s acknowledging, like, “This is programming. This is diet culture,” so she was trying to tell everybody, like, “I am a professional and I am resisting this, like, I have a mental block there that I don’t want to hear it. I still want to believe there’s a magic pill out there” and so of course, the general population that isn’t even educated with psychology, you know, of course, there’s a massive block there, massive. Dr. Mann: And I see that and I see that in anonymous comments out there, the people who come up to me are like, “This is freeing, this changes everything, hallelujah” and the people who are like, “I can’t, no, I must believe that I can lose a ton of weight and keep it off.” Yeah, I don’t hear from those people I just hear mean comments. Jen: Right, but they just pursue people who that, whose ideas support their, you know, how they want to see the world right and you know what, honestly, when I embraced these ideals, it was, I went through a pretty big slump of emotion, like, it was like grief. I had to grieve and because it was, yeah, it was, it was an idea that I had based a lot of my life around and spent a lot of time energy and money and the more invested you’re into something, the more you resist that it doesn’t work and trying to convince different gurus or fitness professionals that have built their whole careers and social followings on selling thinness, trying to convince them of that will be even harder because they are so deeply invested in it. Dr. Mann: Oh yeah, they’re the worst. Jen: And so I think a grieving process is like pretty normal when you, like, you have the freedom but then it’s like, you know, you go through these different stages of, like, “Oh, well that sucks” or you feel somebody shame come up and your trigger, that’s kind of your trigger that typically will take you into dieting behaviors to feel like you’re actually in control of that but you’re not and you’re just realizing, “I am not in control” and that can be very depressing, right but but also very freeing on the other side once you fully accept that/ Dr. Mann: Yeah, again, we just have to remember the one thing that truly, truly matters is our health. Jen: Yes. Absolutely. Dr. Mann: You know, have someone close to you die too young and suddenly it becomes very, very real, you know, you have nothing without your health. Jen: Right. Dr. Mann: So keep that in mind as the goal. The goal is health. Not some number on the scale and they don’t measure health with that number on the scale. Jen: Right and and including psychological health in that because I have had people around me succumb to eating disorders and that’s a very real thing in our society and it has very, anorexia has very high mortality rates and so- Dr. Mann: The highest of any mental illness. Jen: Yes and so and it’s just a horrible life, right even if you don’t, even if it doesn’t lead to you passing away and dying, it’s a horrible place to be and it is not healthy and it’s, you know, this is very real as far as, you know, a lot of people think of unhealthy as, you know, very large and morbidly obese and eating and eating but there is the other end where there’s a lot of people succumbing to eating disorders as well. Dr. Mann: Yeah, it’s true. Annie: Dr. Mann, I cannot thank you enough. This is so much fun. Is there a place that people can connect with you? Do you hang out on, I already stalked you on Instagram it doesn’t look like you’re- Dr. Mann: I never post, I’m basically on Instagram to spy on my 14 year old. I don’t expect he’ll see this. Annie: Excellent. Are you on Facebook or your website? Where can people catch up with you or stay on top of what you’re working on? Dr. Mann: I guess I’m on Facebook or Twitter more but again, on Facebook I post but mostly political stuff, on Twitter I only lurk, I’m there, if you want to find me, if you want to talk to me, tweet at me. Annie: OK. Jen: OK. Dr. Mann: Or do the same on Facebook. Annie: Awesome we’ll put that in the show notes so people can connect with you if they want to follow up with you but this was so fun. It was just like talking to a friend that knows a lot about nutrition. Dr. Mann: It sounds like you’re doing awesome stuff so I’m so glad you’re out there doing it. Annie: Yeah, we’re trying. Jen: Thank you. Lauren: Thank you. Annie: OK, we’ll talk soon ladies, thanks for joining us. Jen: Bye. Lauren: Alright, bye! The post 53: Secrets from the Eating Lab: Dr. Traci Mann appeared first on Balance365 .…
In this solo-podcast, Lauren explores everyone’s big questions about breakfast. You’ll learn how to make your breakfast habit a success, what science really has to say about breakfast and how to set yourself up for a great day when your family is too busy to sit down all together like they do in the movies and on TV. Tune in for ideas to make your mornings go more smoothly (and taste more delicious!) Bon appetit! What you’ll hear in this episode: Which components make up a balanced breakfast How Balance365 can help you determine how much of what you need Is it really the most important meal of the day? What happens if you miss breakfast? Will not eating breakfast impact your metabolism? Setting your breakfast time to work with your schedule Reverse engineering your eating How big does breakfast really need to be? Meal prep tips for busy mornings Breakfast ideas – what to eat Resources: Quick and Easy Breakfast Recipes! Learn more about Balance365 Life here Subscribe on Apple Podcasts , Spotify , Google Play , or Android so you never miss a new episode! Visit us on Facebook | Follow us on Instagram | Check us out on Pinterest Join our free Facebook group with over 40k women just like you! Did you enjoy the podcast? Leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or Google Play ! It helps us get in front of new listeners so we can keep making great content. Transcript Hello and welcome to another episode of Balance365 Life Radio. I am Lauren Koski and I am actually hanging solo for this episode today so it’s going to be short and sweet and we’re going to get right to the point. I’m talking about quick balanced breakfasts and I don’t know about you but when I watch a movie or a T.V. show and the family’s all sitting down for breakfast together, the young kids are all eating orange juice and someone’s making eggs and bacon that does not look like my mornings. I don’t know if it looks like yours but mine are more me running around the house like a crazy person looking for socks and shoes and packing food and trying to get my kids out the door and into the car on time and there is no time for everyone sitting down together to eat breakfast unless I got up at like 4:30 which I’m really not willing to do. So, today we’re going to talk how to get a balanced breakfast quickly because I know that if you’re like most of us you don’t have a lot of time in the mornings. So, first what we’re going to do is I’m going to break down what I mean by a balanced breakfast. So the general elements of a breakfast are going to be protein, carbs, fats and fiber or fruits and vegetables. So inside Balance365 we help you determine how much of each of these that you need to support your goals and lifestyle. So we don’t give exact amounts but we give guidelines and typical ranges and then you can figure out exactly what that looks like for you but the elements again are going to be a protein, carbs, fats and fibre which is in the form of fruits and vegetables or whole grains and I also want to address whether or not breakfast is the most important meal of the day. We’ve heard that for years and years and I’m sure you’ve heard that. But I want to make it very clear that there’s nothing magical about eating breakfast as soon as you wake up. So, eating breakfast is not going to increase your metabolism. Nothing “horrible” is going to happen if you miss breakfast. Your metabolism is not going to drop if you don’t eat breakfast. So what you want to consider, there is no right or wrong answer for “Is breakfast the most important meal of the day?” Generally speaking, I’m going to say no, all meals are important. But what you want to consider is how breakfast individually affects you. So if you’re someone who wakes up and you are very hungry and you skip breakfast because you know, you’re trying to eat less or cut calories or whatever or maybe you just don’t have time and you skip breakfast. If that causes you later in the day to over eat at all of your other meals then breakfast is going to be very important for you and that’s something that you’re going to want to prioritize. Now, if you are forcing yourself to eat breakfast when really, you’re not hungry in the morning and waiting to eat breakfast later actually works better for you then no, I would say, don’t force yourself to eat breakfast. So, me personally, I eat about, I eat a couple hours after I wake up. So I get up, depending on the day, between 6 and 7 usually and I eat at about 9-9:30 after I drop my kids off and that’s when I start getting hungry and so that’s when I eat. I’m not going to force myself to eat breakfast in the morning if I’m not hungry right away. Now, with that being said I know there’s also people who have to eat breakfast at a certain time because that’s the only chance to eat until lunch, right, if you have, you know, if you’re a teacher or if you have set breaks at times, eating breaks, then obviously you’re probably going to want to eat breakfast otherwise you’re not going to even until your next break, right? So for those people, well, what we recommend is what we call reverse engineering your eating and so if you find you’re not hungry in time for your breakfast but you do need to eat, one option is to look at what you’re eating at night before you go to bed. If you’re eating a nighttime snack, if you’re eating a large late dinner, try reducing that and you’ll probably find that you’re hungrier in the morning or sooner in the morning. I should say another option is that breakfast doesn’t always have to be a big full meal. If you’re not feeling all that hungry but you need to eat something before lunch, right, you can make it a smaller meal as well. So bottom line, all of that to say, eat if you’re hungry and wait to eat if you’re not is basically our recommendation. So, let’s talk balanced breakfast options. So we find that having your breakfast prepped and ready or parts of your breakfast prepped and ready definitely increases the chance of actually getting a balanced breakfast in the morning when we’re busy and all running around. So some of our favorite meal prep ideas ahead of time are going to be chop your veggies ahead of time for omelettes, if you’re eating eggs in the morning, cook meat ahead of time if you want to put meat in your eggs or breakfast burritos or whatever. You can pre-pack protein scoops and put them in snack bags. I know Annie does this and then she just takes all the bags and puts them in her gym bag so on the way home from the gym she can have that before she eats the rest of her breakfast. You can pre-cook protein pancakes or protein waffles and freeze them so all you have to do in the morning is toss them in the toaster. Another great idea that we have come across is prepacking smoothies. So, prepacking your fruit and veggies for your smoothie in a ziplock bag and putting that in the fridge or even in the freezer if you want to keep it longer and then all you have to do is throw that in the blender and blend and you’re good to go. Janelle, actually, she, sorry, if you don’t know Jen now you probably don’t know Janelle. She is one of our long long time Balance365 members and she is Jen’s sister and what Janelle does or used to do is she would blend her whole smoothie up and put it in like a mason jar and put the whole thing in the freezer and then the night before she just pull it out and put it in the fridge and then in the morning it was already all ready to go. Now if you want to precook an entire breakfast that’s also a great idea. So some of our favorite recipes for this and we will put these a link to get these in the show notes so you can get the actual full recipes that we use. Egg bakes, egg bakes are really great. You can make them in a large casserole dish. You can do eggs eggs, egg whites, a mix of the two and they’re really versatile. So you can throw in basically whatever you want, cheese, meat, veggies, anything you want and you can either cook it in a large casserole dish or my favorite way to actually do it is cook them in muffin tins so that way they’re like pre-portioned and you freeze them that way or put them in the fridge and then you just grab out a few, however many you want, microwave it, you’re good to go. Another great one that’s really popular in our community is Annie’s Oats so, they’re Annie’s Oats because Annie is the only one who likes them. No, just kidding. It has a love/hate relationship with our members. Some people love it, some people can’t really wrap their heads around it but basically it’s oatmeal cooked with egg whites and if you cook it correctly, which I did not do the first time. The first time I basically got scrambled egg whites in my oatmeal but if you cook it correctly the egg whites just add a really creamy texture and they take on whatever else you add into it, so peanut butter or whatever And it’s a really great option for a high protein breakfast. Another one that we really love is our Greek Yogurt Power Bowl. This is super simple. It’s just Greek yogurt and then you put, you know, granola, fruit, chia seeds, whatever you want on top of it and this may not be something you can make totally ahead of time, right, but it’s super easy to maybe have your toppings in a bag, scoop out the Greek yogurt, mix it together and go. Another one of my absolute favorites is Overnight Oats. So you can make that totally ahead of time and put it in the fridge and then grab and go in the morning too. Alright, so those are our quick breakfast options. Again, we will have a link to those in the show notes and just to recap, whether breakfast is the most important meal of the day or not really depends on you, your lifestyle, your preferences and your needs. So again, eat if you’re hungry, right when you wake up and wait to eat if you’re not. Have a great day! The post 52: What’s For Breakfast? Quick, Easy and Balanced Ideas appeared first on Balance365 .…
In this episode, Jen, Annie and Lauren are joined by James Fell, the author of The Holy Shit Moment, a book that explores epiphanies and how behavior can change overnight. James shares his insights from his own radical behavior change grounded in a lightning bolt moment of permanent change, and talks about the science and stories behind these important moments. Tune in and learn how you can find your own shift, what drives lasting change and how everything can come together in an instant. What you’ll hear in this episode: What James Fell’s epiphany was and how that changed his life How personal responsibility can be empowering Global versus focal change – what’s the difference Identity shifts and their impacts on relationships The model of personality and how it relates to change Vanity goals: do they work? Are holy S. moments always bad? Gradual vs. Immediate change What supports immediate change? How does gradual change work? Crystallisation of discontent defined The breaking point and change The quest for greatness as an impetus for change Does sucking it up every work? Building habits and enjoyment over time Weighing the pros and cons of action and committing even when it’s unpleasant Acting like a tortoise but thinking like a hare – what does that look like? Post diet rebound, pendulum swings and coming back to centre Resources: Good To Great by Jim Collins The Holy Shit Moment by James Fell Lose It Right by James Fell Learn more about Balance365 Life here Subscribe on Apple Podcasts , Spotify , Google Play , or Android so you never miss a new episode! Visit us on Facebook | Follow us on Instagram | Check us out on Pinterest Join our free Facebook group with over 40k women just like you! Did you enjoy the podcast? Leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or Google Play ! It helps us get in front of new listeners so we can keep making great content. Transcript Annie: Today’s long awaited guest has been a longtime friend and supporter to Balance365 and whenever we ask our community which guest we should have on our show his name always comes up. You might know him as the man behind Body for Wife but we can’t get enough of his straight shooter honest approach to behavior change. Joining us today is the one and only James Fell. James is a highly regarded science based motivator for lasting life change. James recently launched his second book and on today’s episode he shares with us how love and a Joan Baez as quote changed his life forever, how getting clearing your values can make change feel easier and why relying on willpower is a bad idea. We had so much fun recording this episode with James and we know you’re going to love it too, enjoy. Jen and Lauren, we have been waiting for a really, really long time for this podcast episode and I know our community members have been too. Are you ready for this Lauren? Lauren: So ready. We had to reschedule. Annie: Jen, are you? Jen: Yes I’m ready. Annie: Sorry, Lauren, what was that? I’m so excited I just cut you off. Lauren: I was going to say, we had to reschedule so I’ve been waiting for like an extra week. Annie: I know and every time we ask our community insider Facebook group Healthy Habits Happy Moms who we should have on as a guest, notoriously this man’s name keeps coming up. It is James Fell. Welcome to the show, how are you? James; I kind of feel like a rock star right now after that intro. Annie: You kind of are a rock star. James: Yeah, well, tell my kids that one. Jen: We also get a lot of referrals from you so thank you. James: Oh you’re very welcome, you know- Jen: A ton of women that said they found us through you. James: We have like minded followers I would say. Annie: Yes. We, James and Healthy Habits Happy Mom’s which is what Balance365 was before it became Balance365 go way back so we’ve been pals for a while and Jen and James, you guys met, I think before James and I met, how did you two meet? Jen: In Vancouver. Oh, like, we just met online, small world as we talked about, when you are not shucking B.S. to people and then we met up in Vancouver and we had coffee which was awesome. James: Yeah, that’s right, I was in Vancouver for a conference. So we got to do the, you know, going from being internet friends to real life friends which is always exciting when that happens, so high five! Annie: Yeah and I met James when I went to the fitness summit in Kansas City many years ago, I mean, gosh, that was probably 3 or 4 years ago I suppose but it was, like, one of those whispers in the lobby like, “That’s James Fell.” James: Don’t make it weird, Annie. Annie: That’s what the women were whispering in my ear and I’m like “Oh, OK, OK.” It was fun to have a couple of drinks and since then our relationship with our company and you have fostered and we are excited to bring you on because you have a new book coming out. This is actually your second book, second to Lose It Right, is that correct? James: That’s correct! Annie: It comes out January 2nd and I told- James: January 22nd. Annie: Oh, sorry, January 22nd and I told you before we started this that we have labeled our podcast as clean, which means it doesn’t have any explicit lyrics and the title of this book is called the Holy S. Moment and that’s what we’re going to call it for this podcast because we know we have people listening with little ears within earshot but you can probably imagine what the title of that book is and I just have to say it’s not actually out in print yet, is it? James: No, no, we’re, so January 22nd, so as of recording right now we’re 6 days away, so it depends on when you publish this. Annie: So by the time it’s released, this episode is released they’ll be able to find it, where can they find it? James: Anywhere, so it’s being published by St Martin’s Press in the United States and Canada and if you have any listeners in the U.K. Harper Collins is the publisher there so this is this is my 1st international released book. My 1st book Lose It Right was just published in Canada. Annie: That’s exciting, do you feel good about it? James: Oh yeah, I’m really stoked. So yeah, they can find it in any bookstore, any platform, there’s an audio recording too so if people don’t hate my voice, I’m the one that did the narration for the audio. Annie: I love it when authors do that. Jen: I do too. You really feel connected to that author. James: Yeah, I love it too because they paid me to do it. Annie: Winning and the cover of the book, unless it’s changed, because you were kind enough to share the digital format with us, the cover has a lightning bolt on it, right? James: Yes, it does. Annie: And I don’t know if you can see that but I’ve got a big old tattoo on my trap so, you know, I feel like it was clearly, this was a book that was meant to be in my house. James: Annie Brees, me and Harry Potter are all big on lightning. Annie: Except I’ve never seen Harry Potter, I’ve never read Harry Potter- Lauren: What? Annie: I know nothing about. I know. James: OK, you just lost some fans. Lauren: I’m sorry. I’m not cool. Annie: Okay, I just wanted to get this out too because on page 6 it just says “hi mom” and I was like- Jen: Oh, that is so sweet. Annie: So you definitely earn some bonus points but what I want to talk about is, if you know us, you know that the 3 of us are all about slow and sustainable change but you actually wrote this book because you found yourself as a coach encouraging slow and steady change but that actually hadn’t reflected your experience in how you forever changed your life. Would you mind sharing the story about the moment and the quote that you think shifted for you? James: Yeah, so before I get into that briefly, like, when it comes to say health and fitness, I don’t mean, you know, jump into your first session with Attila the trainer and go hard core and wreck your self on day one. When it comes to the the change of changing one’s body, you still need to be rational and don’t destroy yourself but the change that I’m talking about is the way that you’re motivated, that quite often we talk about motivation as a form of baby steps, being a tortoise not a hare as well, you slowly, step by step drag, yourself over a motivational tipping point developing, you know, habits that become sticky and the reality is that there’s a lot of people that don’t do it that way. They go from 0 to 100 miles an hour in a moment and they stay that way because of some transformative life changing event that just wakes up a part of their brain where they achieve a new purpose in life that endlessly and vigorously drives them forward. So that’s what the book is about is the science of that event and so there’s the, you know, all the scientific aspect but there’s also a lot of anecdotal stories that run the gamut of, you know, relationships and career change and battling addiction but also, yes, there are some weight loss stories in there as well but to my personal, the first big transformative experience for me happened when I was about 22 years old and I was in university and I’d actually gotten a letter that said, this isn’t verbatim but it boils down to “Your grades suck, we’re kicking you out” and I was, you know, I was in debt, you know, the credit card companies were calling. And I wasn’t looking after my health, I was drinking too much and and I was in a state of despair and part of that had to do with my girlfriend was that she was a very driven woman, straight A student, destined for med school and I knew that if I got kicked out of school and I do not say this to ever speak ill of her but I knew if I got kicked out of school that it was going to be the beginning of the end, that, you know, she wasn’t going to stay with a guy that was a drunken dropout who was letting his health go to hell and so I was, I was really kind of freaked out about what am I going to do and so I’m reading the university newspaper and there was this section that’s like there classified ads called 3 lines free and it’s, you know, a mixed bag of things from quotes and witticisms and proclamations of undying love or temporary lust or whatever and there was a quote in there from of all people Joan Baez the folk singer and the quote read “Action is the antidote to despair.” And I read that and it didn’t hit me immediately but it’s the 1st thing was I realize that, you know what, all these problems that I have can be fixed via action. If I get down to get to work I can fix this stuff and that was the first little wake up and then the next part that hit me bigger was the realization that I had been pretty lazy my entire life. I’ve been skating turned on cruise control, not really putting much effort into anything, these problems that I was experiencing were of my own doing. You people know me that I’m not one of those guys that say “Oh, just suck it up” and you know, I realize that there are people that, you know, life is garbage sandwich and it’s not their own doing but my this was my fault. I had dug this hole myself and only I had the ability to dig my way out and and so there was that realization that I’ve been really lazy and I was actually putting effort into being lazy by, you know, the mental gymnastics it took to, you know, shirk my responsibilities each day and that was when my brain woke up in an instant where I said, “If I just put effort in a positive way, if I just got down and started working, I could fix all this” and that’s the way that these life changing epiphanies work is that they are there a big picture concept, they’re fuzzy, they’re not usually very concrete. The concrete action plan comes afterward, after you have the event but the event happened was like, “If I just work I’ll fix everything” and in that moment I experienced what’s known in Psychology of behavior change circles as dramatic relief, where suddenly you see the light at the end of the tunnel, all the problems haven’t gone anywhere, still there but you know you’re going to fix them and you know that the light is there, you can see it and you’re going to race toward it and everything’s going to be OK. And from that moment, in that instant, I was a changed man. Jen: Wow. James: I got 2 master’s degrees. I didn’t flunk out, I went on and got 2 master’s degrees, oh and that woman, the girlfriend, we’ve been together for almost 30 years now and so yeah, I told you she was the one and you know, got in shape, got out of debt all that good stuff, I don’t brag. Annie: I don’t want to spoil, I didn’t want to spoil it for everyone but when I was reading this part about your, like, this moment that you were having reading that quote I was like “Did he do it?” and he did! And that’s, oh my gosh, that’s so sweet. But I love that realization that you said, I was in this position because I had put myself there and while that can maybe feel a little like, “I did this to myself” it can also feel like that “I can get myself out” like the flip side of that coin is, “Yeah, I put myself here but also I can get myself out” and that’s really like encouraging and empowering I think. Jen: I got goosebumps and I don’t know if you can see that on camera but my hair is standing on end. So I see that shift with some of our Balance365 members sometimes and I agree some people get a garbage sandwich but it is so important to reflect on our contribution to where we’re at in life. I believe that wholeheartedly that it is so important to reflect on that. There are obviously things that were out of your control but there are also things that you have done and you know, for this is a very complex topic but especially, you know, just the different members we have in the different lives they come from but I feel like that can be such a light bulb or that lightning bolt they need to go, you know, maybe they can’t change everything about their life but maybe they have more control than they have let themselves believe, leading out to that moment. James: And the thing is that there’s focal changes and then there’s global changes, what I experienced was largely a global change, that I just decided that it wasn’t that I was going to get in shape or that I was going to stop flunking out of school, I was going to fix everything and so that was a global change. Other people had these focal changes, like the example in chapter one of Chuck Gross, who had started with his weight because he weighed over 400 pounds and that was a life changing epiphany after having struggled and tried and failed to lose weight many times, he had this transformative experience and that he knew it was going to work and the direct quote from Chuck was “I didn’t have to struggle with my motivation. It came built in.” And he lost over 200 pounds and has kept it off for more than a decade but the interesting thing there is that these experiences often have cascading effects where afterwards, he ended up, he went back to school and he was a straight A student, he went through a personality shift where he went from very introverted to, you know, more confident and more extroverted, it was better for his relationship and it just had a lot of other positive impacts throughout his life. Jen: What about, something on the other end of the scale, I was listening to a podcast the other day with a therapist and she was talking about the high failure rate of relationships after somebody has weight loss surgery and they didn’t dig into that but it relates back to what we’re trying but here is because a lot of people, it’s not about the weight loss, it’s about the identity change that they have because of that huge event and I can also see it going the other way, that, I mean, this happens all the time in relationships, I guess, you have people go through identity shifts throughout their life and it can also affect your relationship negatively. And so I can see it also, you know, not that anyone should stop themselves from changing but it’s just to show this is radical, right, it’s radical what happens to people and this cascading effect that you’re talking about, it can affect, we have in Balance365 these women that go on, like, one woman has founded a feminist nonprofit in Vancouver and is building this huge community and she talks about how it was Balance365 that just, it just was that moment, right, everything changed from there and it’s just interesting to see and we’ve had women applying for jobs they didn’t think they were qualified for and we’ve had women leave their husbands, we’ve had, you know, it’s just that radical personal growth shift that just, yeah, cascades everywhere. James: Well the research you’re talking about with weight loss surgery, of which I am very supportive, I’ve written an article about how I think that if people that think that that is the right decision for them I’m the last person that would ever shame someone for doing so because the research shows that it can be quite effective but I’m not aware of and I’m not denying it, I’m just saying that I can’t speak to that. Jen: Right. James: However, in these instances I didn’t interview anyone for the book that had undergone very bariatric surgery but there were a few people that had experienced significant weight loss and as well as gone through many other changes and the one theme that I noticed is that what we’re talking about is, yes, there’s an identity shift, yes, there’s a value shift, that’s what makes it effortless. There’s the whole, it refers to Roky, social psychologist Milton Roky teaches model of personality which is, like, the whole, you know, ogres are like onions. Well, people are like onions, too. We’ve got our actions and behaviors at the extra layer which is, if you focus just on changing behavior, that’s why you need to be slow and steady because you’re in conflict with those more internal layers of your values and your identity, whereas if you go through an identity shift and a shift in values, the outer layers just sync up effortlessly which is what happened with Chuck Gross. He went through a rapid identity and values shift which just brought his actions and behaviors into line immediately. But so here’s the thing that, yes, this entire book is about a shift in identity and values which sounds scary. So this is anecdotes, not data but the examples in the book, many of these people were in relationships when they went through this dramatic shift, those relationships got better. Jen: In the examples in your book. James: And I can posit a hypothesis as to why that happens, which is that it’s actually and there’s even some philosophy in there and psychology is that this is not a false construct that you’re creating. When you go through something like this, it’s more like the current identity that you’re letting reign is the fake one, that’s the one that is, you feel that you need to survive each day because of societal pressures and pressures of, you know, maybe toxic people in your life or your job or whatever else is going on that this is the thing that, you know, it can be referred to as the despised self that you’re letting rule your life and then all of a sudden, the true self that, this is the person you’ve been yearning to be your entire life, is suddenly let loose. It’s not invented out of thin air, it was there deep down and it was like every little movie that you watched where there was a hero that did something that impressed you or a story that you read that you say “I wish I could be that brave” or all these little things are tiny bits of data that get lodged in your unconscious that that have the ability to coalesce in a profound way in a moment. So when you go through this type of identity change, this is not slow and steady, it’s such a dramatic emotional event that it’s something where it’s unleashed, it’s like, it’s like a volcano where the magma has been bubbling under the surface, building for years and then all of sudden kerblewy, it explodes. That’s why it’s a, it’s a holy s. moment because you have this sudden realisation and because and when we look at our relationships with other people that when you fall in love with someone, you have a tendency to idealize them and you’re falling in love with what you, the vision you have of them as their best self. You see, you know, they’re not always that way but when you see the best in them, you have a tendency to overlook the bad parts the parts that annoy you, hopefully. I know my wife does it with me all the time. Then when that real true best self comes to the surface and is allowed to let reign, it’s, like, yeah, the other member of that relationship is very welcoming of that, so I’m not saying it’s a guarantee, I’m not saying it’s going to work that way every time but it sounds good, they said. Jen: James, what do you think of this, all of this in terms of dieting. So in our community, really, what we have founded everything on is that dieting does not work and a lot, I mean, it doesn’t work for the majority of people and what happens with women is that dieting becomes a part of our identity over time, so you are or losing weight or maybe you’ll tell me, I’m not using the correct scientific terms for all of this but it may feel like part of our identity. It is so ingrained in us to be basically defining our self-worth based on our ability to lose weight or at least trying to lose weight makes us feel worthy and we get, you know, many pats on the head for it as women when we’re doing that. I would say men probably experience that as well and so feel like when women join Balance365, when we help give them, you know, turn the light on a little bit and they join Balance365 and they realize dieting doesn’t work, and for some of them it happens like in “Zing! This does not work. This I have been doing for 25 years does not work” or sometimes it happens slowly, it’s like, “OK, maybe it doesn’t work” but then they, like, come back, you know, and then maybe they pull back from us a little and go, “Well, I’m just going to try one more diet, just to double check” and then would you say that’s a change in identity happening? James: Absolutely and I think you really nailed it, that a lot of people, so that’s that is, sort of a despised self identity that is being allowed to flourish because their values are the approval of other people or living up to some toxic ideal that you see in an air brushed model on a cover of a magazine and looking at food as something that, you know, what they consume is something that they need to suffer through and this is, the thing about these type of events is the whole goal is to remove suffering, when you focus strictly on behavior change, that’s why the tortoise’s preached over the hare because if you change too much all at once, the amount of suffering you experience is quite high because it’s at odds with the more internal layers. And that’s why they say baby steps is because you’re trying to minimize the discomfort until it gets to the point where you just kind of get used to it and you come to tolerate it and yeah, you know those things can work but we all know that the failure rates are pretty high and what can be a much more positive shift in identity is having self compassion, realizing that you are a fallible human being and that food is something that is supposed to be enjoyable and nourishing and necessary for life and that you can stop caring so much about what other people think and worrying more about the way that you, what you think about yourself. And how you feel about the way you look in the mirror and how you feel physically, like, when you wake up each morning and you know hopefully bounce out of bed and then looking at food as something that nourishes you and because you have compassion for yourself that you want to feed yourself in a healthy and nourishing way and that you want to exercise because it’s good for you and it’s enjoyable and it’s OK to have some vanity goals but if vanity is your overrunning motivator I’ve never seen that work out well. Yeah, you know, for many years I had a shirtless photo of me on my website. And you know, I’m wearing the short sleeved t-shirt- Jen: Snug fit. James: And I think it’s OK to have some of those motivations but you also need to think about the, you know, I’m never going to be as buff as the next guy, I’m never going to be as ripped as the next guy but that’s OK because my wife likes the way I look, I like the way I look and I like running, I like lifting weights, I like riding my bike, I like fueling appropriately, I like the way I feel when I eat mostly healthy food, I like the way I feel when I don’t drink very much, all those types of things, that’s part of my identity, that just being kind of Zen about this whole thing. You know, just do the best you can, enjoy your life, enjoy your food, enjoy your exercise, that’s identity and values right there and that’s a positive one as opposed to all “Oh my God, I’ve got this flab from Christmas” which I totally do and you know, that’s a positive shift that people can make because they hear me talking about it, they hear other people talking about it, they read it and this type of information percolates in your brain and maybe one day it bursts through the surface and you say, “That’s who I am.” Lauren: Can I ask a question before we kind of move on or switch gears? When you were telling your story, I kind of had this realization that I listen to a lot of podcasts and there’s always people, you know, being interviewed and telling their stories and it’s usually someone who has accomplished something or done something and a lot of times you’ll hear them have that Holy S. Moment, you know, whether it’s, you know, they had a big realization or whatever and I am realizing that a lot of times, it’s kind of like they’re, it’s a bad moment, right, like, they’re kind of in a low place when they have that moment, is that and I know you have a lot of examples in the book, is that true for all of them or is there another way you can kind of come to that moment? James: It’s common but it’s not the law so, you know, in my example when I talked about the one when I was flunking out of school, yeah, the whole action is the antidote to despair quote, I was in a state of despair so that’s one of the reasons why it really spoke to me. Despair is not same thing as depression, just so we’re clear. And but and so what happens with a lot of people, one example is called crystallisation of discontent which is a psychological term which refers to discontent is, you know, say there’s one problem that’s bugging you and it’s not that big of a deal by itself you’re like, “Yeah, whatever, I can live with that. Crystallization is when you look at all the other little problems and the whole is greater than the sum of it’s parts where they suddenly crystallize all together and you reach a point where you’re like “OK enough of this, you know, we’ve got to go in a new direction because this is just not working for me anymore.” So that’s an important shift people can make. Then going deeper, we also have the breaking point, which we see quite often with addiction where people are in a horrible state and they realize that they just can’t do it that way anymore and they’ve got to go in a different direction and it is very common for people battling addiction where one day they just “No, this is it, never again” and they’re done and they are done so that’s another way but on the other end of the spectrum, we also have the good to great mentality which is and I’m stealing that from a book of the same name by Jim Collins and and the book is actually about corporate change where corporations want to go from being good at something to being great but it actually, there’s a lot of good stuff in that book that applies to people as well and what it is is someone, you know, life is pretty peachy, things are going along OK, you know, it could be better but then suddenly a quest enters your mind, like, “I gotta do this” where where it’s not like you want to be great for greatness sake, you have discovered something that makes you want to try to create it. And you know, for me people who have that big life changing event often have more later on clarifying epiphanies and for me it was being a writer that I had reached the age of 40 and I had an MBA, I had a successful business career and I didn’t hate my job but I did not love it and I knew that writing was something that I love to do and I realized life was too short to spend the majority of my waking hours doing something that I wasn’t really passionate about and I was going to give it my very best effort in order to make a career out of this and so that was a, life was good and then I became a writer and it became great. Maybe not quite financially great right away. But trust me, you know, I just turned 50 last year and my forties were awesome because I decided to become a writer and my fifties are looking to be even better. Lauren: Right, that’s good to know, you know, you can have these epiphanies without being at like rock bottom. Annie: I would just like to say that James pretty much just described my last year of therapy in like 15 seconds. Because we actually have a section of our program called The Story of You which is where we help members get clear on their values and I think Old Annie, Annie 2 years ago would have just poo-pooed that, like, “Why does this even matter, I just want to lose weight, I just want to build muscle, I just want to, you know, run this or lift this or whatever, like, I want to look a certain way or I want to feel a certain way, why does my values even matter?” and you wrote in a blog post that you encourage people to spend less time worrying about the exertion of will and engaging in continual resistance and suffering and forcing yourself to do what you really would rather not and spend some quality time on examining who you really are deep down and you encourage people to, like, really look at their values, like, what really matters to you and you’ve found in your book evidence that supports that that will help, as you said with that one gentleman that he didn’t have to rely on willpower because this is just what he wanted, like this is was him. This is what he wanted and so we hear it from a lot of women that they feel like they need more willpower and more self control and you’ve dug into self self control, self love and willpower in your book and on your blog post and as you know, the fitness industry loves this like “No excuses, just shut up and do it, grind through it.” So after looking at your work in the book and knowing you and knowing your personal and professional experience, what do you think about that? I mean do you want to expand on that barfy noise? James: There was a lot of research in the book debunking the whole myth of willpower and seeing it as a limited resource that you can strengthen and you just gotta suck it up, we know it doesn’t work, people have been told to suck it up forever, there’s research showing that the efforts to to strengthen willpower are futile. There’s more research in the book that people who do use what they call grit, that you just tough it out no matter what even though you hate what you’re doing, it’s actually physically damaging, it has negative cardio metabolic effects as well as negative effects on I think the telemores which has to do with your life expectancy and so yeah, it’s and it’s just not fun. Willpower and grit and powering through all imply suffering and I just, we don’t want to suffer, we seek to avoid it. Our entire evolution as a species has been about trying to find ways to make things more comfortable for us so instead a person’s ability to do things, like, I will get up and put on a ridiculous amount of layers of clothes to go out for a 6 mile run in minus 30 and it’s not because, you know, I don’t hate doing it, I actually feel a sense of accomplishment, like, it’s kind of cool for me knowing, “Hey, I’m out doing something that other people think is crazy” and so that’s one of the things that motivates me to do it is that it’s, you know, it’s just I get a bit of a an excitement out of it even though, yes, it’s really cold out there and I’m kind of slow because I’m trudging through snow but it’s just, it’s this neat little sense of accomplishment and also a shower after a run at minus 30 feels really, really good. Jen: And I’m over here like, “No way.'” It brings me zero joy to do something like that. James: So that’s not, I’m not suffering. Jen: Right. James: All that being said and I’m really hoping this book takes off because if it does, not only will I feel validated which I kind of need, then I want to write a sequel about what happens after the holy S. Moment and you know, how do you keep snowballing the success from it and I think that doesn’t rule out discipline, so discipline is different from willpower. Discipline is about things, like, you know, getting, formulating routines that you stick to even though you don’t want to and yes, there are days that I don’t feel like running but you know, I just, you know, I figure I’m still a runner, that’s who I am and I don’t always succeed but there other times when I don’t want to but I’m going to do it anyway and you make yourself do it and then you get out there and yeah, maybe the first kilometer and sorry for the Americans that are listening, the first kilometers kind of drag but then you get into it and after it’s like, “Yeah, I’m really glad I did that” so there’s it’s not like everything is a joyous “Oh yeah, I can’t wait to do this.” But it’s just, it’s because it’s who you are, it’s not that big of a deal. Jen: Annie just talked about this in a workshop last night that we did for our members around exercise, you know, it’s like we do encourage people to find exercise they enjoy or can tolerate and Annie just said “Look, it’s not always going to be super fun, you’re not always going to be like I can’t wait to get to the gym but even if you can tolerate that exercise and afterwards feel accomplished and glad you went” Annie: Then, yeah, there’s like this like acclimating period for a lot of people that aren’t super jazzed about exercise or movement that it’s like they kind of just have to get over that hump of maybe they’re a little bit sore or they’re getting into a new routine, they’re like, I think of it as like snowplows, you know, like or you’re going through a gravel road, like the first time you go through like fresh gravel it’s like a little bit wonky and then you keep going through and you keep, like, grinding those, like, pathways and-“ James: Grind isn’t a good word to use, we don’t want to be in a rut. Lauren: No. Annie: But eventually, the pathway is a little bit smoother and you have less resistance but initially, when you’re getting going or maybe you’re trying something new, you’re learning a new skill, it’s not all fun and there’s certainly days where you’re just tired and you just don’t want to do it for whatever reason. James: And sometimes you do and that’s great and other times you don’t, you know, don’t beat yourself up over it because you know, tomorrow’s another day and one of the things that I want to be clear about is that, you know, not throw out the tortoise approach to this because if you think about motivation as, like, a mountain and at the base of the mountain that is 0 motivation to do the thing. And then the peak of the mountain is absolute 100 percent motivation to do everything associated with this goal with inspired vigor. Well, if you’re down at the base of the mountain, you don’t just hang out there and wait for sudden inspiration to arrive and Star Trek transporter your butt all the way up to the top. That can happen, sometimes it does, that’s what happened with Chuck but it doesn’t always work. You increase your odds of success if you start to hike awhile and you do those baby steps, because what it does is that it opens up new experiences to you. It gets you thinking because this is something that happens in the brain and if you are having these new experiences and starting to think about this and examining yourself and how you feel about it and looking at your, this is an emotional experience and that’s what happened for me is I talked about the, you know, the change in school and the change and you know, getting out of debt, all that kind of stuff. I didn’t get in shape right away, that came 2 or 3 years later when I finished my undergraduate degree, stuff was really busy with school and I was really busy with working to pay off my debts and those kind of things and I didn’t do anything about my body because I felt like I didn’t have time and then as soon as I finished my degree I looked in the mirror and said “Wow, I got kind of heavy. Maybe I should do some about that.” That became my next mission, I’d learned how to work hard but it doesn’t mean that I liked it. I started going to the gym and I did not like it one bit and it was after about 2 months that I was, you know, just forcing myself to go because I knew that this was something that I had to do and I was powering through on that grit and that willpower and I came close to quitting so many times and I felt like I was losing no weight whatsoever and then, so I was doing that that slow hike up the mountain of motivation and then one day I’m walking out of the gym after a couple months and the person at the front desk said “Did you have a good workout?” and I stopped and I thought about that for a moment and I said to myself, “Well, it didn’t totally suck” and I thought “It used to totally suck” and hopefully we can say suck on your podcast. Jen: Yes. Annie: Yes. James: OK, so it went from totally sucking to not totally sucking and I thought, well, if I could evolve from it toward it not sucking then one day I could learn to love it and in that moment, I wouldn’t say that I transformed into loving it but I did make a life altering decision that said “OK. One day I can learn how to love that” so therefore, I’m going to keep doing it until I die and that was 25 years ago still going so, go me! Jen: There are a lot of aspects that suck about running a business, it’s coming together but ultimately when you’re, you know, values, you know wake up in the morning and being safe, having financial autonomy is so so important to me, I will, we will show up and we will do those sucky things because ultimately our value of having financial autonomy overrides the pain of doing those sucky things. James: Yeah and it’s, you know, the alternative is is worse, right. Jen: Right, is way worse, yes. Annie: I think that that’s an important point that I hope our listeners grab, especially, you know, I’m talking about exercise because I’m a trainer but so often people think that they love something so then they’ll do it and that’s how you do more things, right, you have to love it first but like you just described, you can actually do something, get a little bit better at it and that cultivates a sense of love or enjoyment, so you can, in essence, learn to love something, like, you learn to love exercise and I think that that’s what so many women who don’t naturally love exercise like I do, I get it Jen and Lauren have expressed that they don’t share their passion for exercise like I do all the time. But that that doesn’t mean that they’re just out of luck. James: And for the analogy that I would use to describe it is that when you take this approach hiking up that mountain and then waiting for sudden inspiration to move you much further up the mountain, you know, dramatically increase your motivation all of a sudden, I refer to it as acting like a tortoise but thinking like a hare and so people need to be receptive to the possibility of this sudden gaining motivation and if they’re more receptive to it, if they’re more mindful of it happening, it dramatically increases the likelihood of it taking place. Annie: I like that, that’s really good. Jen: One of our members, her husband’s in the Army and she had this really good saying on one of our podcasts around motivation and behavior change and self-awareness, I guess, sometimes you need to know when to advance and when you just need to hold the line and I feel like that was a real, like, that’s kind of the hare and the tortoise thing, right, like you just, sometimes you have an opportunity in your life to advance and you need to take it. Motivation isn’t bad, it’s just knowing, yeah. James: Something interesting happened with me, so I was talking about how new experiences and an openness to new ideas that wake up a part of your brain that wouldn’t have happened if you hadn’t gone out and tried that thing, that’s what absolutely happened to me with running. So when I decided to take up running, so I’d lost a fair bit of weight with weight lifting and dietary changes and then I decided, well, I want to lose more and this was before Facebook, so I actually knew that that running was good for weight loss, that it could work because I hadn’t bought into all the fit pros saying “No, cardio makes you fat.” So I decided that for me that running would be a good choice and that it would also be not just good for weight loss but just good for my health, it’s good for organ health and all that kind of stuff and so I decided to start doing it and I was terrible at it and it was painful but I just started it, really short distances and gradually built myself up and I was just thinking about the outcome, like, this is good for losing weight, this is good for my health, that’s why I’m doing it and something completely unexpected happened was that that being a writer and being a person that likes to create stories and tell himself stories is that became the most creative part of my day was when I go for a run my best ideas come to me, either when I’m running or going for a bike ride and I just love the free association that I get to do. I’m away from technology, you know, I don’t have my phone with me or anything like that and it gives me that time alone in my head that, you know, that I just didn’t realize how much I craved that. And it makes such a big difference to me that that was really what I fell in love with, that if I hadn’t actually tried running I never would have known that that was the thing that I needed. Annie: Yeah, that’s really pretty, that’s a beautiful story. Lauren: That’s really pretty. Jen: James, can I get your take on another behavior we see quite often? James; Sure. Jen: So what happens very often in our community when women have the epiphany that diets don’t work and they’ve been living for years and years under a very restrictive way of living, they have their pendulum swing out the other way so many of our members talk about, after they join Balance365 they overeat, go swing into this period of eating all the things that they have denied themselves for so many years and that usually comes with weight gain and a lot of them say it became a necessary part of the process for them in order to have their pendulum swing back to center and be able to be more objective and balanced in their approach. What is your, do you think it’s necessary and or do you, is there any science or anything that you know of to explain that or what’s your take on it? James: So, I mean, I, the first caveat is that I’m not actually a psychologist. Jen: Right. James: I interviewed a whole bunch of psychologists for the book and we didn’t specifically get into that type of stuff. I would say that if you are hearing a lot of people saying that that was necessary for them and that it worked, then it sounds like there’s got to be something to it. For me, like I always would like to say err on the side of caution a little bit but you’ve got to do what you gotta do. Jen: Right. James: If you have been punishing yourself this much for so long and you reach this breaking point and you just got to go in another direction where you’re like “OK, I’m sorry but this is, I just need a break” and that what happens then, then that makes sense to me but at the same time, you need to keep something in the back your mind that says “This is temporary, that this is a reset” because you don’t want to go off the rails, right? You don’t you don’t want to never stop because and it’s not about shaming people for their body weight but just being concerned for their health and you being concerned about your own health and how you’re feeling and that as long as you realize that this is a temporary reset and that it’s part of finding a mentally and physically healthier way to move forward it sounds OK to me but- Jen: Right. James: Just realize, OK, how far does that pendulum need to swing the other way before it comes back and don’t go beyond what’s necessary? So just little bit of caution. Jen: We have to have these come to Jesus talks with our members often on how far that pendulum has swung out and how far, how long they’re willing to stay there because in the end, a lot of women feel they came from a space where they were controlled by the diet industry saying- James: Oh yeah. Jen: Right, but then they’re screaming out into this other space where I’m like “But you’re still not really free, like you’re still not making free will choices if you can’t get your pendulum to come back to center.” James: Exactly- Jen: You’re just in a rebound state. James: You let the food hedonism rule instead. Jen: Right. James: You go from restriction ruling the life on one hand to highly palatable food ruling it on the other hand. Jen: Right. James: So you’re still, like you said, you nailed it, you’re still not really free, so be careful how far you let it swing- Jen: Right. James: Consider it a bit of a mental reset that it’s almost like a statement that you’re making- Jen: Exactly. James: A rejection of this toxic diet mentality where OK, and then you make your point, “Forget you diets.” And then you come back to what you really feel is going to be both physically and psychologically nourishing for you. Jen: Right, exactly. Annie: James, I know you have to get going because you have more interviews, you are just an in demand man. The first time we tried to schedule this episode you were just coming off of another interview and it was right before another one and everyone wants to talk to you, so I’m so thankful that you gave us some of your time. I know our community is just going to really enjoy this episode and I bet they cannot wait to get their hands on your new book which comes out the 22nd of January, so by time this should be available. James: Yes, indeed. Annie: And where, I know they already know where to find you but if they’re new to you, where are you hanging out online, where is the best way to connect to you? James: So if they want to find a book probably easiest place is well, they can either walk into a bookstore or go to bodyforwife.com and there’s a book tab that has links to every possible platform they can want. I think I mentioned that I did the narration for it so they can also get the audio if they want to do it that way. We have a lot of fun on my Facebook page, really good crowd there. Jen: Oh yes. James: It’s, I think we’re over two thirds women on the page and they’re very accepting, very feminist environment, sometimes some very foolish men show up and get their butts handed to them righteously and that’s an awesome thing to witness. Annie: You’ve had some threads that are like “Get your popcorn ready” sort of thing. Jen: You know, I don’t even say a word, I just read through them and I’m like, “Whoah!” James: Yeah, well and the thing is that people like the smack down because it serves as a lesson to other people and I learn things by, because there are so many really intelligent women on that page that, you know, people say “Oh, you know, you really get this whole kind of feminism thing” and it was like “Well, it’s only because I’ve been reading comments on my Facebook page from awesome women who know this stuff really well” and so yeah, that’s Facebook.com/bodyforwife, Twitter, Twitter sucks. I’m on Twitter let’s stick- Jen: What about Instagram? James: I’m not on Instagram, I don’t take good selfies. So Twitter is Twitter.com/bodyforwife as well. Annie: Awesome, well James, thank you so much, I cannot appreciate you enough, I’m really excited for everyone to check out this book and we’ll hope to have you back soon, OK? James: I’d love to and in closing, the one thing I will say to everyone that’s listening, that when it comes to these types of life changing epiphanies, the most important thing is to understand these things happen all the time and it is really important to believe that it’s something that can happen for you because that’s what opens yourself up to actually experiencing it. Annie: Awesome, thank you so much. James: Thank you. Annie: We’ll talk to you later. James: Bye. Lauren: Bye. Annie: Bye. The post 51: James Fell: Epiphanies and Life Change appeared first on Balance365 .…
Can you love your body and still want to change it? The answer to this question depends greatly on who you ask. Some people in the body-positive camp think that weight loss and self-love can’t co-exist, while the diet and fitness industry encourages self-hatred. Does the truth lie somewhere in the messy middle? Tune in for Jen, Annie and Lauren’s discussion on the topic. What you’ll hear in this episode: Has the body positivity pendulum swung too far? Change as a natural consequence of habits and behaviors Mindset blocks and change What research says about how much control you have over your body Altering appearance for self-expression Examining motivations for changes Being realistic about timing of changes Is there way too much overthinking going on? Mothering yourself Identifying when you need self-compassion and when you need tough love The answer to the question of the day! Resources: Secrets From The Eating Lab Learn more about Balance365 Life here Subscribe on Apple Podcasts , Spotify , Google Play , or Android so you never miss a new episode! Visit us on Facebook | Follow us on Instagram | Check us out on Pinterest Join our free Facebook group with over 40k women just like you! Did you enjoy the podcast? Leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or Google Play ! It helps us get in front of new listeners so we can keep making great content. Transcript Annie: Can self-love and a desire to change your physical being co-exist or are they a contradiction of one another? The answer to that question is debatable depending on who you’re asking. On one hand of the body positive camp say body love and weight loss can not co-mingle while it seems as if the rest of the diet industry requires a certain amount of body dissatisfaction as a prerequisite to change. There is no doubt in our minds that the push for body acceptance of all shapes and sizes is a much needed message but what about those individuals who want self-acceptance and still desire to change their bodies?This is a quite complex and messy topic and on today’s episode Jen, Lauren and I share Balance365’s stance on how you can strive for change that’s rooted in self-love and acceptance and joy. Ladies, welcome back to another episode how are you? Lauren: Good. Annie: Why? Why can’t you just answer the question? Jen: I feel like you need to address us individually because what happens is, what people can’t see behind the scenes is we are actually on a video conference call looking at each other so then you are like “Ladies, how are you?” and then Lauren and I stare at each other waiting for the other ones to answer first. Lauren: Who’s going to go first? Annie: Quit being so polite and just answer the question. Lauren, how are you doing? Lauren: I am so wonderful, how are you? Annie: I am golden, thank you. Jen, how are you? Jen: Also wonderful. Annie: I feel like that was just so surface-level answers but we’ll go with it. Jen: Well, if you want to do a deep dive in my problems lately. Annie: Would you like to schedule a coaching call with one of the Balance365 coaches. Jen: Well, I need a new podcast called the Jen show. And I’ll just get all weeps and vent. Annie: I do feel like you’ve used some of our podcast episodes to kind of sort through some of your own issues about exercise. Jen: Yeah, but you know what? It’s helpful for people because my problems are their problems. That’s the narcissist in me. I struggle with things a lot of women struggle with. It can be helpful to go through it with a coach. I actually have a really good idea for a podcast series and that’s to bring on Balance365ers on to the podcast and coach them through whatever block they’re struggling with and sending that out to all of our listeners. Don’t you think that’s a good idea? Annie: I do, yeah and all jokes aside, you’re right, you do have a problems. Jen: I am your average busy working mom that struggles to make time for self care and yeah, that’s why I think our podcast resonates with so many women because we all have surpassed 200,000 downloads I’ll just add that in too. We are not standing on our high horses telling everybody what to do, we struggle with all the same things, have struggled in the past currently or we may in the future so yeah, we’re all in this together. I hope everybody feels that way when they listen and talk to us. Annie: I feel like that just got really serious, like we started out all jokey. Lauren: It started out all good and quickly. Annie: You can always count on Jen- Lauren: To make it an intense counselling session. Annie: To turn it into a serious, sentimental intense conversation. Jen: I’m an INFJ. I like intense conversations. Lauren: I don’t remember what my letters are but they’re the opposite of Jen. Jen: Yeah, we could have called that without you going through the test. Annie: OK. All jokes aside, we do have a kind of a heavy topic today, it’s something, it’s a question that comes up so frequently in our community, so frequently in the diet and fitness world and something that we’ve addressed inside our community but not on the podcast yet and that is “Can you love your body and still want to change it?” and by changing it we mean address your body composition, gain weight, lose weight, change your appearance of some sort and that’s a pretty big snowball to tackle, right? And depending on who you ask you’re likely to get a variety of answers. Extreme body positive activists will tell you that body love and weight loss cannot co-exist, do not co-exist and on the flip-side many professionals in our industry or the diet industry in general as a whole that support weight loss believe that self loathing and body dissatisfaction is a prerequisite to changing a body and here we are as the 3 co-founders of Balance365 yet again in the messy middle, right? Lauren: Yup. Jen: Yup: Annie: And so we’re, you know, again, the answer to that question is going to depend on what camp you’re asking, right? So we’re going to answer this question or discuss some of the talking points that we consider when helping our community members evaluate “Can you love your body and still want to change it? Can they co-exist?” and I think we can all agree that this body acceptance movement or accepting yourself at every shape and size is a much needed message for our culture. But what we’re experiencing is that those who still want to make changes are kind of like, “Well, what about me? What do I do? What, like, how, where do I fall into?” and sadly, it feels like in some ways the pendulum has swung a bit too far in one direction, especially when members of our community are feeling shamed for wanting to change their body still or they’re keeping it a secret or they’re afraid to tell anyone. And that, to us, isn’t neutral or an expression of body autonomy which we are super supportive and this is tricky because on some levels what we do in Balance365 is give women the tools and support they need to reach their goals, which can include weight loss, while simultaneously encouraging them to love and accept themselves and there are people out there who believe that these two concepts contradict one another, which is kind of the debate of the moment, right? Now in our industry “Can you love yourself and want to change it?” Does that mean that you don’t ultimately love yourself if you still want to change yourself? Do you have any thoughts, Jen? Jen: Well, newsflash, almost any change, lifestyle change you make in your life and do consistently is going to change your body because our bodies are always in flux and although they are a representation of our genetics and our environment, they are also a representation of our habits. So I recently changed my mode of exercise. I have gone a couple years of just doing like shorter more intense workouts and now I’m back into a phase where I have the time and opportunity and support to do some heavy lifting. I’m actually going through the Arms Like Annie program that a lot of women in our community are which is a strength training program, full body strength training program, heavy weights and guess what? My body is going to change because that’s what bodies do, they adapt to the stresses you put them under. So this I really see as a big mindset block for a lot of people, whether it’s trying to hate their body to change or resisting change because they’ve learned to love their bodies. I got some really good advice this last spring. I was struggling with a certain mindset around business and money. I was at a conference and I was talking to a man who has built multiple companies and sold them and is a multi multi millionaire. He told me he lives on a street in San Francisco and sometimes he walks out and looks down the street and can’t believe that he could buy every house on the block if he wanted to. But he grew up extremely poor and so why we connected is because I grew up without a lot of financial privilege and I find that affects me today but the advice he gave me that I now see is so universal, he said “You are so busy fighting battles in your head that you are never going to be able to get out there and fight the war” and I honestly see this as one of those mindset blocks, one of those blocks that women run into like and makes them freeze and then they expend this time and energy on it. Do I want to change my body? Don’t I want to change my body? Why do I want to change my body? And then they’re just missing the whole thing that change needs to come from a place of self care and if you are taking action on something that feels like you are caring for yourself, nurturing yourself, mothering yourself, then who cares what the outcome is? Maybe your body will get smaller, maybe it will get bigger, I don’t know. Annie: You just ran through my 3 bullet points in like five minutes. Jen: I’m sorry. I did not read the outline. Annie: So Jen summarized that so well and so concisely we can just end the podcast now. I’m just kidding but you’re spot on. You’re, it’s such a good point that you’re so busy, what did you say? You’re so busy fighting battles- Jen: You’re so busy fighting battles in your head you’re never going to get out there and fight the war and this is what we deal with in an ongoing basis in Balance365, any of our Balance365ers listening will say, “Yeah, she’s right. I mean there are so many women posting daily working through these mindset blocks” and it’s really those different programmings that we have that keep us from actually taking action and doing the things that we want to do or need to do in our lives to feel our best, like our best selves. Lauren: Yeah I was writing something earlier about this kind of exact thing, like the mindset piece that we put first is so important because when you get through that the nutrition habits and exercise habits are so simple, like they’re simple. What trips us up is like these mindset blocks like you’re talking about. Annie: And you know, I just want to back up too and I hope this is inferred and I hope that you can just sense this about us by the way we carry ourselves and the way our program is written and laid out but we absolutely believe in body autonomy and we believe that the individual has control over who and what they use their body for and for what and how long and that means that we respect to variety of goals women may have for their bodies and women come to our program with goals of building self-love and healthy habits and some come with a clear goal of weight loss and we don’t place moral value on either goal over the other. We believe that they’re all worthy and we’re here to help women achieve their goals, whatever they are. Jen: We have women share with us in Balance365 that once they really get that self acceptance piece and love their bodies they’re so afraid of losing it because nobody wants to go back there once you’re not there anymore you don’t ever want to go back in that space. So then they start the habit building process and they start losing weight and that puts them into a negative space almost of self sabotage because weight loss then becomes triggering to them as in “Wait a sec. I worked so hard to love that body and now it’s changing again” and the other thing like, newsflash, our bodies are always going to change every single day we are getting older so our hormones are changing, we’re getting wrinkles, we’re, you know, our hair color is changing. I mean, our bodies are always changing and I think that is the biggest acceptance piece that needs to happen is your body is always changing so stop this hypervigilance on trying to control it. Annie: Right and I think that getting clear on the why behind your desire to change your body can help answer some of those questions and so often we see women wanting to change their bodies and it’s rooted in self hate or this misconception that if you fix your body you’ll love your life and your life will be perfect and you’ll have the perfect body or ultimately that you want to feel worthy and you want to feel free of shame and you want to have this loving and belonging and it’s our experience that you can’t hate your body into loving yourself and nor can you hate your body into being healthy and if that had worked I think we would have a heck of a lot more “success stories” in our lives than we really do, right? Jen: The greatest act of self love is loving yourself when you think nobody else will, so when you aren’t fitting into society’s mold of what is lovable, right, so it’s, you know, so if you do have a larger body there is a lot of good and value there of learning to love and accept yourself at a larger size before, you know, before the weight loss journey comes, if it ever comes, you know, whatever your choice but you know, it’s like only loving your kids when they’re well behaved, right, like, when, you can just love your body when it’s doing what you want it to be doing and you can’t just love yourself when your behaviors are on point, right, your nutrition’s on point, your exercise is on point, your rockin’ life, you love yourself but then as soon as your behaviors are off track you’re filled with these self loathing thoughts. That’s not love, that’s just like surface level approval. Annie: That’s conditioned. That’s conditioned love. That’s not and ultimately I think what a lot of us would really like and are striving for is to love ourselves unconditionally. Meaning our body can look a variety of ways, our behaviors can look a variety of ways and we still can treat ourselves with compassion that we would so many other people in our lives. Jen: Yeah, another good analogy I use sometimes with women is I moved into a house, a new house about a year and a half ago and it’s an older house and there was people that lived here before us that decorated, painted, designed to this house in a way that suited them but is not to my tastes at all. So, for example, my bathroom is lime green and I hate it, I hate it but I still love my home. I am still grateful to live in this home. This is the nicest home I’ve ever lived in. Growing up as a little girl my mother couldn’t have dreamed of providing this kind of house for me as a kid so every day I wake up I feel like I’m living in my dream home but my bathroom is lime green. Yes, I do want to change that color eventually. I haven’t yet, it just, I haven’t had time, it has been the right time but eventually I will paint the bathroom, I will do some renovations around this house to change it but that doesn’t, that doesn’t take away from the unconditional love and gratitude I have for this home and I wish that people could feel that way about their bodies. Sometimes there are changes that you want to make and as long as those are realistic and within your realm of control the problem is there is just such polarizing views. There’s this whole view that you mentioned at the start, Annie ,there’s this whole idea that you have complete control over what your body looks like and then there’s the other end of the spectrum people saying “You actually have no control over what your body looks like so don’t even bother thinking about it” but I think it was Dr Tracy Mann, we’re interviewing her on our podcast pretty soon here which is really exciting but she has in her books that studies in her book Secrets From The Eating Lab, studies show that it’s in the middle, you know, as usual, we actually do- Lauren: That messy middle. Jen: Yes, like you can’t change your genetics, of course, but there are certain behaviors we have in our life that will affect the way our bodies look and feel and I think her stats are we have about a 30 percent, 30 percent of the way we look is we’re able to manipulate, which is probably a lot less than some people think and a lot more than other people think and so it’s OK. It’s OK. You can have total love for your body. You can have gratitude for the body that you were given. You can have acceptance of the genes that you have and you can still say, “You know what, I would love to reduce my abdominal body fat and I am going to step forward making change in a way that will reduce the fat I have on my body and that is coming from a place of self-love and self care and also being realistic.” Annie: And I think the important distinction there, Jen, that you’re, in terms of your bathroom, is striving for change doesn’t mean that there’s anything wrong with it, it’s just different. It’s not good or bad- Jen: Yeah. Annie: I mean I mean to you the lime green might be bad but- Jen: Yeah, I mean, but how some people behave about their bodies is that, taking it back to the house, they would just throw gas around this house and light it on fire like that because they don’t like the way the bathroom looks and here’s the thing, it’s also knowing that there’s a time to address that and not right, like, I have recognized over the last 18 months that trying to make any changes to the interior of my home were just not realistic. I just haven’t had the time or the resources or the money to pay somebody so we haven’t done it and there’s a time to change and then there’s a time to hold the line and just, but you can still wake up every morning and be grateful, right, like it doesn’t have to be something urgent in, like, you know, you can’t love yourself or respect yourself until you have this but I mean, we talk about it in terms of bodies but I mean there’s a lot of people that get hysteria over their house as well because it’s where they live in. Annie: Yeah or you love your job, you enjoy your job but you want to improve in a particular skill set or – Jen: Yes. Annie: You enjoy your marriage, you love your spouse, your partner, your significant other but you wish you could spend more time on date nights or as you noted you love your children but you wish they would listen better at bedtime but you can, we believe wholeheartedly, that you can want to change an aspect or an element of yourself, your appearance, your being, whatever it is and that come from self love, that come from a place of love and care and admiration for yourself, versus- Jen: It’s not that you are more or less worthy with these changes, which is really that key component, right, like I go in and color my hair, I get blonde highlights every 3 or 4 months or so or 10 months. And it’s like, I just like it and I don’t see myself as the less worth, if I, you know, for whatever reason, if I had to go back to my, you know, grow it all out and have it just have my natural hair color, I wouldn’t be like, you know, feeling awful about myself, it would just be “Oh, like, I love coloring my hair. I wear makeup, you know.” There’s all these things, right but like- Lauren: Our outward appearance can be an expression right we are and people have different preferences, people like different hair colors and different hair styles and different makeup styles, that’s OK. It doesn’t mean like we don’t love ourselves if we’re not wearing makeup and that’s how we can use that analogy when we’re talking about our bodies. Like, you don’t have to, we say this all the time, you don’t have to love every little tiny part to love the whole, right? Annie: That’s exactly how I feel about muscles, to me they’re like an accessory, like they’re like my favorite accessory. It is honestly, it’s an act of self-expression for me to have visible muscles. Now if for whatever reason I didn’t have the visible muscles, you know, it might be an adjustment but I ultimately know that I am a human of value, of worth, just innately, not because I look a certain way, not because I can do certain things in the gym with my muscles that look a certain way. I just have value because I’m a human, as do all all women, and I mean and it’s so easy for us to see as mothers and all, we could say the same thing about our kids, like, why do our kids have value? Just because they are, just because they’re beings, they’re living, breathing humans but to give ourselves that same sense of value and worth seems so difficult. Jen: Yeah I think what happens is people, they just, they overthink this and it gets people in a tizzy on both ends whether it’s from believing you can’t love yourself until you look a certain way or believing that if you’re making changes you don’t love yourself, you know, there’s just way too much overthinking going on. Annie: So what with the approach that we’ve already kind of touched on that we take in our program is we encourage our members to adopt a self-love approach to change and if weight loss is the way in which you want to change your body, it can be a by-product of your habits and a way that you care for yourself. Jen: Yeah and it’s always a byproduct of your habits, always, right? So when you are, like, we’ve covered this in previous podcasts, but you can’t just say, snap your fingers and lose 10 pounds. Annie didn’t snap her fingers and grow muscles. All changes are a byproduct of our habits and so once you start looking at changes as a byproduct of your habits then you can look at the habits required and or the skills you need to develop in order to see that change and you can decide if that is self love and self care for you, right? Annie: And you posed a really great question, a thread came up in Balance365 last week and the question you posed in response to her is “Is this goal about health and love and self-care or is this about achievement and ideal?” Jen: Right. Annie: And that can maybe help you distinguish the why behind this. Is this coming from a place of love or is this coming from some other place that really isn’t worth perpetuating. Jen: Right, like I could be leaner than I am right now, I am quite comfortable in my body with my body weight but I have been 20 to 25 pounds leaner than I am now. I can go back to that life but there is a point where the extreme that I would have to take goes from a place of self-love and self care into self harm, right, so I, you know, I eat really balanced meals, I pay attention to my nutrition, eat when I’m hungry, stop when I’m satisfied, exercise regularly, take care of my mental health. If I wanted to lose 20 pounds at this point I would have to pay very, very close attention to my nutrition and to me that takes me into a place of self harm and it doesn’t feel well and that’s sort of my guiding compass as far as is this coming from a place of self care or is this coming from a place of self harm? Lauren: I really like that, like, how does it feel? Jen: How does this feel for you? Yeah. Annie: Yes And unfortunately there are people in our industry that would encourage you to power through that feeling. Jen: They do all the time in the fitness industry. All the freaking time. Annie: They would say “This is a prerequisite. This is a requirement that you regulate this negative self talk or pushing yourself past this comfort zone is something that’s required to achieve these goals that are ultimately of high value, right?” Jen: They describe it as a plateau, right, that you have to push through, which sometimes it, like, I mean, that’s the thing about, you’ve really got to know yourself, right, because sometimes there’s value in pushing through, right, like sometimes you don’t, every time it gets hard you don’t want to give up and walk away. Sometimes there’s hard things that you have to work through but the self harm piece is like “Is this sustainable for you? Are you willing? Are you going to do this forever?” And there’s been different times in my life, like for example, right now I get up at 5:30 in the morning to work out and start my workout at 6 and yeah, there are some days that I don’t want to do that but I push through and I’m always happy afterwards. Right now that behavior comes from a place of self care. When I had a newborn, if I would have insisted on that behavior with a newborn baby when I wasn’t sleeping all night and I was pushing myself to get up at 5:30 to work out at 6, that becomes self harm, right, because it means I am going with less and less and less sleep. I’m not even getting enough sleep to recover from my workouts. So those are really self assessment questions that you need to ask yourself and that nobody can answer except for you. Annie: And that’s exactly why we don’t prescribe weight loss or have weight loss goals or goals in general for our community members because no one knows your body better than you do, not even us who work with thousands of women on a daily basis, like, we don’t know you as well as you do and so we really just want to encourage you to pull that reflection inward and say like, “What is this about? Like, can I love my body and want to change it at the same time?” and maybe for you the answer is like “No, I can’t right now. First I have to work on loving myself, you know. Jen: So we recently had a community member share that she thought she had fat loss goals and she was ready to dig in on those fat loss goals but after some self assessment she’s realized that that actually is not a healthy space for her to be in right now and she loves the idea of just focusing on habits and letting her body be what it’s going to be and that is the ultimate form of acceptance for her and that’s where she’s at right now and we are like “A round of applause, girlfriend” because really, all we want for people is to own their life Annie: Yeah, and, you know, just some of these concepts we talk about are kind of heavy and they’re philosophical but, you know, so often what we hear, what this change looks like, this shift which can be so subtle and so small and sometimes you don’t even realize that it’s happening to people around you is that all of a sudden, you know, we’re exercising because, as Jen said, “It leaves me feeling better. I feel more confident. I have more energy throughout the day” versus “I’m getting up at 530 to punish myself because I want to change my body because I hate my body so much and I just can’t stand another day living in my own skin.” I mean, the behavior looks the same on the outside but on the inside, Jen knows this is coming from a place of self-love and self care. Jen: Yeah we often say and I think we’ve said in the podcast before, “it’s not about the what the people are doing it’s about the why and how they go about it.” That’s where the dysfunction and disorder, that’s where it can be found. Annie: Yeah, and I mean, the same can be true for how you feed your body, how you speak to your body and you know, are you feeding yourself balanced meals because your body deserves to be nourished and again, you feel better when you have balanced meals or are you starving or removing whole food groups or eating foods you don’t like because, again, you loathe your body and you want to change it and if you change your body, you change your life and if you change your life then you have less problems.” Jen: Right, the thing I love and I’ll let Lauren elaborate on this but somebody posted in our group in the last, I don’t know, year sometime, she asked about protein bars and she said “But aren’t protein bars diety?” and then you replied, Lauren, do you want to share that? Lauren: Yes, I don’t remember exactly what I replied but I’ll say what I think about it now. So there’s no, like, diet food or not diet food, right? Like you walk into a restaurant and like two women are eating the exact same thing, they’re both eating a salad and one person restricted themselves and they’re punishing themselves for what they ate yesterday or they’re punishing themselves because they hate their body and the other person is eating to nourish their body and it makes them feel good so that’s why they’re eating their salad, right, like just like Jen said, it’s not always about the what, it’s about the why. Jen: Does it come from a place of deprivation or does it come from a place of abundance and self care? Annie: Exactly and again, they can look the same on the outside. Jen: Exactly. Annie: On the surface. You might not be able to tell, you might not be able to distinguish and that’s why it’s so important that you get really in tune with yourself and what you’re doing and why you’re doing it and that can help you discern, is this self-love or is this self-hate are these behaviors rooted in? And you know, I just, we say this all the time and it can’t be said enough, we have a saying that “We take great care of things we love and your body is no exception” and I think about all the things that I take care of in my life, between relationships with girlfriends, my children, even my house plants, for heaven’s sakes and I want them to feel comfortable and safe and confident and thrive and grow and expand and live this vibrant life, I’m not degrading them, I’m not starving them, I’m not depriving them. I’m actually treating them really sweetly and kindly and with love and encouragement and sometimes that looks like- Jen: Sometimes there’s tough love built into that. Annie: Yes, like, “Jen, do you want to stay in bed because your bed is warm and cozy and it’s cold outside and it’s dark but I know ultimately this is the goal I committed to and I’m going to feel good” Like, it’s not all rainbows and unicorns. Jen: Absolutely. Actually, my mantra, you know, these days I’ve been struggling a bit. And my mantra is “Mother. I’m mothering myself right now.” Like I have just needed, I have needed some tough love lately and it’s not that I’m, like, being a drill sergeant to myself it’s that “Would my mother let would let me stay up and watch Netflix to 1:30 AM when I have to be up at 6 you know 5 nights in a row?” Like, no, and so that’s sometimes where the tough love has to come in but a mother, well, a mother knows. A mother knows when to push and a mother knows when to pull back, right, we do it for our kids every single day but yet for ourselves it’s like we want to put ourselves into like one box and just like stay there either because we see pendulum swing with self-compassion to, right, we see all the time women are like “Oh I’ve watched Netflix for 3 days but self care, right? and it’s like, “I don’t know. I’m not you so I don’t know if that was self care for you or not but I know for a lot of people you have moved from self care to like numbing and avoiding.” And like you know, like, my mother, if I was sick I might watch T.V. for 3 days but if I wasn’t sick my mother, you know, there’s not a lot of mothers out there who would be letting their kids just sit and watch T.V. for 3 days. Annie: After a day she would be like, “OK get off the couch.” Jen: Get outside, right? My parents used to do that all the time, like, “Get your butts outside now,” right, and so you bring it back to that and go like mother yourself. Have you gotten some fresh air today? Have you gotten some movement in? Are you eating balanced meals? You know, eating, you know, high sugar treats all day long, no that’s not self care day after day after day and that’s certainly not balance. Annie: So, you know, I think, this is just my own personal experience but I’ve heard it echoed in the stories of women we’ve worked with in the past is that they kind of are like, “Yeah, OK, I get that some women love themselves and they’re treating themselves well because they love themselves that much. That’s great for them, however for me I’m used to fueling my workouts and my food and fitness choices from self-hate and I’m worried that if I love myself that I’m just going to become lazy and I’m going to eat all the foods and I’m just going to lose all my motivation and I’m going to get complacent, right?” Jen: That’s how it feels when you’ve been in a place of control for so long, I mean what happens to the teenagers who move out of their family home at 18 that have been living under very rigid controlling rules. They go to college and they go nuts, right? Like we will always rebel against these rules. Annie: Lauren and I are like “Yep.” Jen: Yes, so it’s sort of like, you know, it’s just, it’s human nature, right it’s just human nature and so a lot of people might see their pending swing but eventually you need to like sit up and go and you just need to mother yourself, that’s what you have to do and I find that quite effective in knowing when I need a little tough love and when I need some compassion, right. So if my kids were really emotional, you know, school ends, they’re super emotional, they’re fighting, they’re just not doing well, I can look at them and have some self compassion and go like “These kids are tired, like, we’re going to turn the T.V. on a little early today because they they need some downtime, they need to skip their chores today, they’ve got no energy, you know, or emotional regulation skills like this.” Because you you look at your kids and you just assess, right, you’re always assessing what they need and that changes day to day and I think we can do that for ourselves too. We can do a much better job of it than women traditionally have been doing. We’ve just, we live under so many rules, right, like I just think women actually live under so, not just for ourselves but in our society there are so many rules and a societal construct that women always are living around that I think when we do find ourselves in that space of having free time, we may find ourselves in a rebellious space a lot because we actually have no idea how much unconscious time and energy we spend on, like, subscribing to these rules. Lauren: Preach. Annie: Word. So the anti-climatic answer to our question that I posed at the beginning of this podcast is “Can you love your body and want to change it?” is, I mean, Yes/It really depends and that’s something that you have to answer on an individual level. I personally can sit here and say with great confidence that I have changed my body as a complete act of self-love. Or self-love has resulted in a body change is maybe a better way to put it. But not everyone that changes their body is acting out of self love and vice versa and again our bodies are meant to change they’re fluid. They’re ever changing, they’re always changing, especially as women of childbearing age, I mean, my body looks so different than it did a year ago and I’m 2 plus years postpartum, like, it’s till changing from pregnancy I feel like, I mean, my hair for heaven sakes is still changing. But I think, you know, we’re, as usual, we feel like the truth to that question is somewhere in the middle. We are not on either side of one extreme camp or the other and we really want to help put women in the driver seat to answer that question on their own terms, in a way that serves them and feels good to them and anything we can help women, any way that we can help women come across that answer is good for us. Jen: Yes. Annie: All right, good one. Jen: Lauren will go zip in in the background go ” Preach.” We should get you a t-shirt that says “What she said.” Annie: OK, well, yet another great topic with yet another awkward ending in the bag but this is good. This is a good conversation that I think needed to we needed to address on our podcast because again, we’ve discussed it so many times in our community, which again, if you’re aren’t in there and you want to join it’s Healthy Habits Happy Moms on Facebook. The three of us are in there, we’ve got some awesome moderators and a great community system if you want to continue the discussion on loving your body and still changing it or how you can begin making changes from a place of self-love. It will be a great place to learn so I hope to see you inside and ladies we will chat soon, OK. Lauren: Bye. Jen: Bye. The post 50: Can You Love Your Body And Still Want To Change It? appeared first on Balance365 .…
Diet culture is often so subtle that it can be hard to even identify. On today’s episode Jen, Lauren and Annie tackle the big topic of diet culture: what it is, what it looks like, how it’s harmful and some practical advice on how we can begin to dismantle this hurtful, oppressive system. While this topic is broad and deep, this conversation is the tip of the iceberg and a thought-starter for future conversations. What you’ll hear in this episode: What is diet culture, what does it look like, what does it sound like? Before and after photos – why are they problematic? The impacts of diet culture on the individual, family, and community Making informed choices as consumers to support or not support diet culture How socio-economic factors impact health Thin privilege and how it impacts lives Health, race, and representation in images of health How kids are impacted by diet culture How different healthy weight is for women individually Diet culture and how it creates weight gain How to turn diet culture around Nourishment as a concept that goes beyond food Curating your environment to fight diet culture Resources: Episode 24: Before And After Photos – Comparison, The Thief Of Joy Getting Older: Hillary Mcbride On Women And Aging Linda Bacon’s book Body Respect Setting Body Talk Boundaries Over The Holidays Learn more about Balance365 Life here Subscribe on Apple Podcasts , Spotify , Google Play , or Android so you never miss a new episode! Visit us on Facebook | Follow us on Instagram | Check us out on Pinterest Join our free Facebook group with over 40k women just like you! Did you enjoy the podcast? Leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or Google Play ! It helps us get in front of new listeners so we can keep making great content. Transcript Annie: Welcome back to another episode of Balance365 Life Radio, we have more than enough research to show that diets don’t work. We know this yet people still continue to diet over and over and over again. Why? Well, it’s likely large in part because dieting is a big part of our culture: diet talk, weight talk, negative body talk. It’s everywhere from office conversations to gabbing with your girlfriends over drinks to the marketing on our food, books, and commercials. Diet culture is often so subtle that it can be hard to even identify. When everyone around you is seemingly celebrating weight loss at all costs and bonding overeating “good” foods and say no to “bad” ones it can be difficult to take a stand against a culture. On today’s episode Jen, Lauren and I tackle the big topic of diet culture: what it is, what it looks like, how it’s harmful and how we can begin to dismantle this hurtful, oppressive system. We know that this is just the tip of the iceberg of a very important topic and discussion and we invite you to continue this discussion on the inside of our private Facebook group Healthy Habits Happy Moms. See you on the inside! Lauren and Jen! We’re back with a big, big topic today, are you ready for this? Jen: Ready. Lauren: Ready. Annie: You’ve got your game faces on, you guys. We’re discussing the term diet culture. What is diet culture? Which, the reason why we want to address this is because diet culture is a term and a phrase that we use frequently in our community and in our content and we really haven’t stopped to kind of unpack what this is, right? And we’re just going to dive right into it because I think we could spend a lot of time talking about this and we want to make sure that we do it justice and who knows, we might have to come revisit this. We’ll see how far we can get on our outline, right, but we know that diets don’t work and this is not a new topic. If you’re new to our podcast that might be a new concept to you but if you have been around our community and our podcast for a while, you know that diets don’t work and the research is there to support it and in fact, the research shows that most people are able to lose weight in the year but the vast majority gain it back with the majority of people gaining back more than they lost within 5 years and to echo the research that’s already out there that supports diets don’t work, we’ve surveyed our community and an overwhelmingly amount of our community have tried dieting and they’ve “failed” yet many women keep dieting, right? We see this all the time, like, people try diets, they don’t have success but they keep dieting and why is that? We would offer that it’s, unfortunately, part of our culture, right? Jen: It’s deeply ingrained in our culture to diet. Lauren: Yes. Annie: Yes. And so what we want to discuss today is what is diet culture, what it looks like, what it feels like, what are the consequences of living in a culture obsessed with dieting and spoiler alert: it’s everywhere. Jen: And yeah, a really good analogy I have is we also live, well I do, personally, where I live, I live in a car culture, a commuting culture, so public transport is not good where I live. You essentially have to have a car to participate in our society and imagine not having a car, how difficult that would make things for you and people would be surprised, like, “You don’t have a car? How do you get around?” So if you compare that to living in a diet culture, it’s the same thing. It’s actually very difficult to not to diet in our culture and it can make your life actually feel harder, initially than participating in the culture. Annie: Because you feel like you’re going against the grain. Jen: You are going against the grain and our society isn’t set up to support people who are not making, who are choosing to not do that. Annie: And because diet culture is so subtle, it can be really hard to identify what it is and what it isn’t and you might not be familiar with the term yet, diet culture, if you’re new to our community but I promise you, you have experienced it and I just want to share just, I pulled these out of a hat off the top of my head when I was reviewing for this podcast some of the ways in which you might have experienced a culture that I think are pretty common. Phrases like “I’m going to be bad and order fries” or how we compliment pregnant women for being “all belly” or tell them how great they are looking after giving birth. Jen: Yes. Or “You don’t even look pregnant” etc. Annie: Yes. People who lose weight are consistently applauded for and praised without question or you might hear phrases like “I’m on a new diet”, “How is your diet going? Have you tried this diet? I lost weight with this diet.” Jen: Yeah or “I’m off my diet.” Annie: Yes, yes, yes, yes. I’m sure many of you listening are probably nodding in your head in agreement that you’ve heard those types of conversations, you’ve seen those behaviors and they’re so common in our daily lives and these are the examples of what diet culture is, could be or what it sounds like are endless but- Jen: Yeah, before and after photos are a really problematic thing in our society and some of our listeners might be in the fitness industry and they might use before and after photos and I just want to say that it’s not, I know the intent isn’t there, I mean you might be coming from a really good place trying to showcase your client’s results and the intent might not be there but you certainly are profiting off of the fear that’s already there and that’s just something I would like our colleagues to sit with. Annie: Which is difficult because that’s something we as a company have struggled with which we have a whole podcast on before and afters and what the consequences of using them can be. We have gone back and forth, should we use them, should we not use them. Because they are effective, I mean, you see them, not even in a professional setting, you know, a girlfriend post that she lost 20 pounds or whatever in a post before and after on just her personal Facebook page and people break their necks looking at it, right? Jen: Right. Lauren: Right. Annie: And, you know, again, that’s diet culture, where we applaud these people for weight loss or think if they’re a better person or more disciplined or of higher moral virtue because they lost weight and we don’t even stop to question “Are they actually healthier? Do they do they feel better? How did they go about achieving that?” like, “Could this person just be sick?” I mean, like, there are so many options other than “this was intentional and they automatically feel better” but let’s just define it, right, this is, the definitions vary from source to source but in general diet culture is a society that focuses on and values weight shape and size over health and wellbeing. It worships thinness and equates it to health and moral virtue. It promotes weight loss as a means of attaining a higher status. It demonizes certain ways of eating while elevating others and it oppresses people who don’t match up with the supposed picture of health which disproportionately harms trans, bigger bodies, people with disabilities, people of color and it can be damaging to both mental and physical health. Lauren: Right. Jen: Right because they just, they aren’t represented in a diet culture. Annie: Yeah, and- Lauren: This is not something we’re even conscious or aware of, right? The fact that it’s so embedded in our culture, is it’s just what we’ve grown up with, it’s what we’re taught to do and you know, we’re not consciously aware of these thoughts or behaviors sometimes, it’s just there. Jen: My social media feed used to be filled with before and after photos because those are the types of pages I followed. Just diet pages, weight loss pages, fitness professionals that were constantly posting before and afters of themselves and their clients and so essentially, anytime I was on social media, which for a lot of women is quite a bit, I was looking at before and after photos and that absolutely affects the way you think and see the world. Lauren: And how you feel about yourself. Jen: Yeah. Annie: And it’s in the marketing of our foods, too. I had a FaceTime conversation with Jen about this topic last week and I got off the phone after talking about diet culture, opened up my fridge and here my yogurt says “light and fit”, you know, to me that’s ingrained diet culture or you know, we’re calling foods “guilt free” or there’s guilt, you know, I think- Jen: It is, it is honestly everywhere and back to the car analogy, it’s like, it’s like roads are everywhere, if you came across a spot in a city that had no roads to drive down, you would go, “What on earth is going on here?” You just take for granted that roads are going to be everywhere and in our society diet culture is everywhere, everywhere. Annie: And again, it also, you know, we’ll talk about this how it oppresses certain populations in a little bit as well but we’re really just seeing one type of body, which we were talking about this before we even started recording, it’s thin white women, you know, in the diet industry. Jen: Of a certain age. Annie: Of a certain age, yes and that can be really harmful and if you don’t stop to question these things, you’ll probably just go with the flow, you know, you’ll just kind of keep swimming with everyone else. Jen: I used to model, which I’ve shared in the podcast before, and I was told at 19 that I was getting old for modeling and that if I hadn’t made it internationally by the time I was 21 that I did not have a future in modeling so that is an indicator of the types of models that we’re seeing. They are very, very young. Annie: Babies. Jen: Yeah. Like most girls go big when they’re like 14 and I was told at 14 by a model agent that I had the perfect body, like, I was perfect at that point to be a model, to have a career as a model in women’s fashion magazines when I was 14 years old. Annie: At 14. Yeah, yeah, you’re selling to adult women as a 14-year old that’s a crazy concept to wrap your head around. Jen: Yes. Annie: But, you know, in addition to talking about what it is and what it looks like and what it feels like, I really want to spend a fair amount of time to on why it matters because, you know, before I was familiar with the concept of diet culture, I thought it was just kind of like on a really individual level, you know, like, I thought like, “Oh, this is just what how this person is choosing to spend their time” and I wasn’t really aware of how it impacted our community or our society and Jen, you know, you said on a previous podcast, like, we talk about how we want society to change or how we want our culture to change, well, that starts with us. Jen: Yeah, we are society, we’re part of it. Annie: We’re part of it. Jen: Yeah. Annie: Yes, so let’s talk about why it’s harmful because it’s harmful to individuals, it’s harmful to families and it’s harmful to communities and the first one, which we kind of touched on is it oppresses a large majority of the population on an individual level, you know, just on ourselves, it encourages people to believe that they are less than until they achieve some level of weight loss or fitness goals, right. It makes you engage in self-doubt, you doubt yourself, you feel like you can’t trust your own instincts. It lures you into thinking that you failed because you couldn’t stick to your diet plan and oftentimes people that are engaged in that kind of thinking are thinking things like “I can’t do this because I look like this. I can’t do this because my body is this” and I have personally experienced that. I remember my husband wanting me to go rock climbing and I couldn’t, like, I was too worried about could I, am I going to fit into the harness? Is the harness going to hold me? Is this something that my body is allowed to do, like, and it turns out I could have, I just was too wrapped up in thinking- Jen: You were too big to do this. Annie: Yeah, the self-doubt that that was my limiting factor, right. And then on a community level, it contributes to a culture that makes it acceptable to treat people as less than because of their bodies, right and in fact, when I was researching this there was one study that I came across that it noted that 15 percent of hiring managers, only 15 percent of hiring managers, would hire an overweight woman for a job. So essentially it’s allowing employers to see overweight people as sloppy or lazy and just not hire them. Jen: Yeah and so you don’t see the person or their skills or their education, you see the body. Annie: And we’ve talked about that, or talked around about that, you know, about how what it looks like when you go to McDonald’s and sit and have you know a cheeseburger and French fries versus what it looks like when a larger body goes to McDonald’s. Jen: Yes, thin women can post photos on social media of eating like a whole pizza and be proud of it and people will high 5 them and I think there’s even, I read a blog post a couple years ago, I can’t remember the author now but basically it showed comments under this photo of a like a thin, gorgeous girl eating a huge pizza and there were males saying “Oh, that’s so sexy” and then next to a photo of a really large woman eating a whole pizza and the comments were “That is so disgusting.” Annie: That’s just heartbreaking and eye-opening. Jen: It’s awful. As far as going, “Hey”, like trying to address the diet culture we live in and your everyday behaviors and the way you talk and think around it, like, that’s really what we’re trying to address here, right, like there are people that are seriously hurt because of some of your unconscious everyday behaviors that contribute to upholding a society that oppresses A lot of people in our culture. Annie: And you know, I have no doubt that there are people with hearts of gold and good intentions that are engaging in diet culture like Jen: Absolutely, I mean, there’s probably still areas of my life if I really dug in, I mean, that’s all part of our work, right, is unraveling that. Annie: Yeah, it’s oftentimes not intentional. It’s just, you know, what you’ve learned, what people of before you have done, what you’ve seen other people do, what you’ve heard other people say, you know, I remember, like, early as a trainer talking about concepts that I, that would make me cringe now in terms of diet culture and it’s like, when you know better you can do better and that’s part of what we want this podcast to do today is just start creating some discussion and awareness about what diet culture is and how it impacts our lives. Jen: Yeah, I even recently have been thinking about something. So I love LuluLemon leggings, they are my favorite. They fit me so well and they’re really good quality, I love them and recently a bigger woman called me on shopping there. She said “You are supporting a company that will not carry my size and has openly had the founder talk about that they don’t cater to women my size” and I felt really uncomfortable and that’s something so I’m just, full disclosure, being open about my own journey but I’m really kind of sitting with that and going like “Am I going to be OK with that that they don’t carry over a certain size and I’m going to keep shopping there or can I keep shopping there but bring it up to management, write letters, like, you know, what can I do?” Like, because I don’t feel good about that and then the other one was Victoria’s Secret which I have vocally and openly called out that company for years and years now of their objectification of women. And they recently went public on record to say that they don’t make larger sizes because that’s not their market and they don’t want to sell to women in that market and I have not supported Victoria’s Secret for years and years but that is just something for us all to think about, right, like would you would you keep supporting a company that said they don’t want to sell to black women? Annie: Right. Jen: Like that’s not their market? Or disabled people? Sorry, our store is not wheelchair accessible because we don’t want, we don’t want people who are in wheelchairs in this store. Annie: Yeah. When you take it out of the terms of bodies and when you put it in that context, it’s a no brainer, right? Jen: Yeah and I mean that is part of living in a diet culture that we all so, we don’t even think about that oppression of larger people, right, so, you know, and as soon as you take it into that context of color or ability then it’s like “Oh, wow, no, that’s awful” but then you bring it back to bodies and you’re like “Is that awful? I don’t know. I have to think about that.” Because it’s just so ingrained that you really have to think about it. So those are some thoughts I’ve been sitting with lately just being honest with our audience that it is a journey and you will continually realize that there are ways that you contribute to supporting diet culture. Annie: Well, I mean, yeah and just again, all the ways that it shows up in your life. I mean my drink of choice used to be a skinny latte from Starbucks or like eating skinnypop popcorn, two things that I really enjoy I hate the name. Lauren: Yeah. Annie: Why did they have to be named that? And you know, so can we just call it nonfat lattes? Jen: Yes. Annie: Like yes, yes i can. I don’t have to engage in that or I can stop buying that product as you noted or I can call it something else or you know, my light and fit Greek yogurt, sorry, Yoplait. I don’t like the name, I like your yogurt, I don’t like the name. In addition though to, going back to how it’s harmful, oppressing individuals and on a community level, it also hurts, as Jen noted ,people of color, those with disabilities, people live in poverty because they’re just less likely to be able to access the tools that some people believe can “cure” or address some of these health-related issues or size-related issues such as health care, gym memberships, nutrient-dense food and in fact, I went back and reference Linda Bacon’s book Body Respect, which is a great book if you haven’t read it. And she notes that social and societal differences account for the largest part of the population’s health, even more so than behaviors, biology or genes so really, like the culture, the socioeconomic status that you are brought up in, you’re raised in that you’re living in, plays a bigger, way bigger role than what you’re choosing to eat or- Jen: Yeah, I often say, like, if you are going to be talking about the health of our society and losing your mind over obesity rates, you better be bringing socio-economic conditions into that conversation and letting me know what you are doing to bridge that divide in socio-economic situations across your culture because you cannot stand on your platform and talk about how everybody just needs to eat healthier, you know, what I mean? Once you start understanding the big picture you start to understand actually how useless- Lauren: Like all you need to do is buy all organic produce, lean meats that are grass-fed, get the special bulletproof coffee drink and you’ll be good to go, right? Jen: Right, it’s elitist, it really only helps- Annie: Privileged people. Jen: People in privileged people, right, helps or harms, that’s a whole other question because if you already have those privileges, you know, somebody is just making you anxious about not being privileged enough or perfect enough then, you know, it’s, anyways so yeah, I mean, part of our work, if we really do care about the health and wellbeing of our society is about how to raise children up out of poverty so that we can see them with better outcomes in life, right? Annie: And just, again, going back to the definition of diet culture, you know, that it promotes thinness and equates it to health and moral virtue, like, you know, I’m not any better or worse than someone that’s going to the gym or that has a gym membership or that eats organic bananas than is, you know, than someone that eats conventional bananas, like, but so often we do, we praise people that have those behaviors, that have access to those services or memberships that’s like, they’re doing something right, right? They’re just better. Jen: Yeah but people love to hear that, like, people love to hear, people love rags to riches stories and so you, like, even I look back on myself, you know, I am a thin, white woman, like I have so many privileges in our society because just because of those things. I was born Caucasian and thin. But I even look back on, you know, the way I used to pat myself on the back, like, as if I was just this, like, awesome hard worker and it’s not that I didn’t work hard for certain things, you know, for my education, for everything that I have today for, you know, that I do work out and consistent with exercise but you know, there was a time in my life where it was an elitist thing almost, like, I thought I was, you know, just extra special for whatever reason but it turns out I actually was born with a headstart in life that a lot of people didn’t have and for somebody to start a health and wellness company and grow it to what we’ve grown ours to in the last 4 years as a fat woman of color, now that is hard work. Do you know what I mean? Like, there’s just certain privileges that the 3 of us have that allowed us to, that people will take advice from us online because we’re all thin. Annie: Yeah it’s that this is a heavy topic. Jen: It’s uncomfortable. It’s uncomfortable for us to acknowledge our own privileges, like it really is but it’s so important in order to, if you want to see more equality in our society, like, women, we talk about it all the time, wanting equality with men and that seems to be an easier conversation to flow. But then, you like, let’s talk about all equality, right, and then that means it’s easy to sit back and be a victim of inequality but like what if you are a perpetuator of inequality, like that is uncomfortable. Annie: Yeah. Jen: But that is so important. We expect men to do it, right, we want men to do it. Annie: To be able to objectively look at our behaviors and say, like, “I could be potentially contributing to the problem” It’s like- Jen: Yeah like here are small ways- Annie: It’s hard to face. Jen: Here are small ways. Yeah, exactly. Annie: Absolutely. OK, so backing up, how it’s harmful. It oppresses a large majority of the population, I mean, when we say large, like, that’s pretty much everyone except for thin white people, I mean, which is, like, that leaves a lot of people out, that’s really exclusive. Jen: Yes. So just if, people who are struggling understand this, if you go do a google image search of and just type in like “health and fitness” you will be met with images, 99 percent of the images that come up are, like, thin white people. Annie: Yeah. Jen: I feel like I need to do that real quick. Lauren: I’m doing it right now. Jen: OK just to make sure I’m right. Annie: I just, as you know, as a personal trainer I know that I’ve searched personal trainer images it’s all white men. Jen: Or if you type in healthy women, so I just typed in healthy women on a google image search and I’m scrolling to the scrolling, scrolling, I saw one black woman, one, rest, oh here’s a woman laying in a bed of fruit with a tape measure wrapped around her waist. So yeah, it’s just thin white women, that’s all it is. Annie: Yeah and that’s not, that’s not true representational, truly representational of health. Jen: Absolutely not. You feel, then, the idea of diet culture is that you have to be a thin white woman to be healthy. Annie: Yeah. Lauren: Right. Annie: And that so far from the truth that it’s ridiculous. OK. Moving on. Another reason it’s harmful, one of the many reasons diet culture is harmful is that our kids are catching on quickly to this culture, the the new normal of these behaviors and conversations. We’ve shared these statistics so many times. I’m going to share them again because, like, it needs to be heard again and again and again. Over 80 percent of 10 year olds are afraid of being fat. 80 percent of 10 year olds are afraid of being fat. 53 percent of 13 year old American girls are unhappy with their bodies. The number grows to 78 percent by the time they reach 17, by middle school 40 to 70 percent of girls are dissatisfied with 2 or more of their body parts and I mean, that’s just 3 of the many alarming statistics. And inside of Balance365, Jennifer, you share an observation from author Jan Jacobs Brownsburg, do your remember this, when you wrote about this? How she had been studying girls diaries. Jen: Yeah, yeah it’s in the 1st chapter of Balance365. Annie: And you read her book and you noted that she was writing about how girls, she was studying girls diaries and how these girls were writing about a desire to better themselves and she notes that the difference was pre-war, they were talking about being the self development was focused on helping others and putting more effort into school or reading and by the 1990s bodies had become a preoccupation, that they were writing about. Jen: And appearance and makeup and fashion and yes so this is also such a hard conversation because what if you really like fashion, you know? Where Hilary McBride pointed out in our of the last podcast we did with her. You know, are our interests and beliefs and you know, all of that, is that who we are or is that shaped by our culture? And so- Lauren: It’s messy. Jen: It’s very messy, right and but yes, so basically that book looked at what girls valued and how they wanted to better themselves 100 years ago versus today and that there are there’s just been a dramatic shift in values over the last 100 years where I think most women would say “Gosh, like, you know, I wish, I wish my daughter was more focused on school than boys and makeup and all of that but that’s the culture we live in” Like, you can say one thing as a parent, “Hey, this is where you should invest your time and energy as a girl to be successful in life, to be happy, to be fulfilled” but when you have a whole culture and society telling them differently, they’ll stop listening to you. My Mom, my mother was so amazing at that, my mom was so ahead of the game in the nineties raising me in the 2000s. But, you know, I was surrounded and I was in a culture that clearly valued bodies. I remember when Britney Spears’ first single dropped in she had the, I remember just crowding around the CD in the CD insert, like the first friend who went and got the CD, they would pull the insert out and we would all just- Annie: Read the lyrics and look at the photos. Jen: Yeah we were just surrounded, like, looking at these photos of Britney Spears and she was wearing a little skirt and it was just, like, everything right and yeah, and we even see it in Healthy Habits Happy Moms, our own Facebook group, where we want to so badly want to see this shift, we see, once in a while women might come in and post a before and after photo, they may be new to our group or whatever, they don’t understand the culture in there yet and even when that happens it will get so much attention. Well, I noticed the other day that a woman posted in the last year she has added in a couple habits and her triglyceride levels are back down into a normal healthy range and it did not barely get any engagement and I look at that stuff and I think, even in our group, it’s so depressing because it’s like that is what health is, like, those are the things we should be celebrating. We don’t know what that picture means. We don’t know if her blood pressure is through the roof. We, it’s just, yes so, it’s just, it’s so depressing to me. I’m like Society doesn’t care if people are healthy, they care that they’re thin. Lauren: Right, like stop framing it as health and wellness, right? It’s thinness that you are celebrating but back to the the diaries of the girls thing too, we talk about all the time how women say in our in our Balance365 group, like, I have all this time and mental space that has opened up since I stopped focusing on my body and dieting and like, I kind of see that in this this study from this author, like, where would we be if we weren’t so focused on ourselves and our bodies, like, where would we be if we were all still trying to better ourselves in other ways? Jen: Right, would fighting for equality with men still be a conversation? Like imagine if women took all the time and energy they put into their bodies and their appearance and put that on equality- Lauren: Or any issue. Jen: Any issue, getting politically active or you know, yeah. Annie: Which is a great segue into the 3rd way I wrote down why it’s harmful is it keeps us from living our lives and as we’ve talked about, our conversations are consumed with diet talk, weight talk, body shaming. On a really small scale, we hesitate to eat kids cake at birthday parties or we hesitate at going out to eat with a girlfriend because we are fearing putting on weight or deviating from our meal plan but I know the 3 of us have talked about that we could not have started this business if we were still eating, breathing, living diet culture. Like we wouldn’t have the capacity for it. Jen: I did a talk for a women’s studies class last year via video through, I was just asked to do it remotely basically so I filmed it in my home and it was for the University of the Saskatchewan, a women’s studies course and I did my 1st year of university at the University of Saskatchewan and at that time I wanted to be a doctor. When I started university I wanted to be a doctor and I had to basically drop out by my 2nd semester. I had to move down to part time studies because I was struggling with an eating disorder by then. It just, it was my whole life, it became my whole life. I was starving, my B.M.I. was 17, I was running on a treadmill for like one to two hours a day every morning, not eating, it just it consumed me and that might be a more extreme result of living in a diet culture is actually developing an eating disorder but there was a study done in the States, I think the University of Southern California and they surveyed 10000 women and 65 percent of women report having disordered eating behaviors. That’s huge. Lauren: I had the same experience and I think it’s, I think maybe getting a diagnosable eating disorder is rare but struggling with disordered eating and having it take up your life is not rare. Jen: No it’s very common. Lauren: Yeah I remember coming home, in my senior year it it took up my entire life. I wouldn’t go out because I had to come home and I had to do my workout and I had to eat my broccoli, like I could go out and eat. I had to come home and yeah, just the same way that you’re describing. It took over my entire life. Annie: I am just scrolling on Instagram, I swear it was Erin Brown wrote, had a quote or shared a quote at one point about how all the possibilities and opportunities that have been missed because women were worrying if their thighs were too big. Jen: Yeah. Lauren: Yeah Annie: And that hit home for me. I mean, everything from rock climbing to saying no to opportunities to speak or present or share or work with a client or you know and I think about some, just in the health and wellness world, some of the women in our community that have even expressed, like, I have a really an interest in helping other people, becoming a personal trainer, becoming a nutritionist, getting the certification but will people want to take advice from me because I look like this? Which is anything outside of the norm and that’s really sad, that’s unfortunate, really unfortunate so I want to do our part to break that, right? Jen: Yeah and the messy part of this conversation is trying, talking about weight loss in the context of it not being about diet culture. So that is a really hard conversation to have because we are all about body autonomy and letting women decide what’s right for them and for some women, fat loss is part of their wellness vision. And so, you know, but in within Balance365 constructs you would understand that it’s behavior change that leads to sustainable fat loss etc, etc, etc, we have many podcasts about this. And so that is just really and that’s why chapter one of Balance365 is diet deprogramming because you really have to untangle what it is, what is driving these thoughts, right? That is something really tricky to untangle so where we talk, you know, Annie has lost. Annie used to be a size 22 and now she’s a size 12, is that right, Annie? Annie: Ish. Yeah. Depending on the brand. Jen: Yes and so for, Annie getting healthy, ditching diet mindset, ditching disordered eating, cultivating healthy habits that she can stick to resulted in losing 10 dress sizes which is amazing and I will celebrate that with Annie. I do not think of Annie as a better person than when she was a size 22. I think she was just as worthy. Annie may not have felt that but, and that is the whole problem in our society that we actually believe we are more worthy when we’re smaller. However, on the flip side, me doing all those same things, ditching dieting, ditching disordered eating, ditching and actually cultivating healthy habits that work for me in my life have resulted in me being about 20 to 25 pounds heavier than my leanest weight. And so that is a really important thing for women to understand when we talk about Balance365 and we address weight, we are there to help women become a healthy weight and that is going to look different for everybody. I am not interested in any way in supporting a woman in figuring out how to live life at a weight that is not healthy or sustainable for her. I am not interested in giving her a bunch of diet tricks that make sure, you know, that allow her to be super lean certain times of the year, that’s just not where our focus is and so Balance365 really, you know, the conversation is more about, is not about what losing weight, it’s like what is a healthy weight for you and the thing is in Balance365 so many women have dieted for so many years they don’t even know what that is. Like they haven’t been able to maintain their weight for 3 months, let alone figuring out what maintaining their weight for years and years even looks like for them and I know I didn’t know. I was just constantly going, you know, because I was constant dieting, disordered eating, rebounding. I was basically slingshotting to below what a healthy weight is for me and then right back to above and below and above and I was just slingshotting back and forth where once I found my, you know, what’s healthy for me was basically smack dab in the middle of that and that is what I have been able, that I maintain my weight for the last 4 years through, you know, even some very stressful seasons of life, like because this is actually what’s healthy for me, but that can be a tough pill to swallow for women because for some women that weight is actually heavier than what they are now and that’s terrifying for some women. Lauren: And I think it’s hard for us to communicate that in a diet culture, right, like it’s hard for us to communicate we’re going to help you get the size of body that’s right for you. It’s not always weight loss, sometimes it’s weight gain, sometimes it’s, you know, you’re pretty much the same weight but you have more freedom, you know, to eat the way you want. Annie: Because in diet culture weight loss is equal to a higher status. Jen: Yes, always. Yes. So in a diet culture weight loss is always the goal, right. Annie: Right. Jen: Yes but we do, you know, we’ve got women who have lost significant amounts of fat inside our program but for them, being in those larger bodies was a prison for them because that was not the right weight for them, it was well above what was healthy and sustainable for them and a person gets to that space because of diet culture, because of the constant yoyoing of diets and every time they diet they lose 10 pounds and they put on 35. They go on another diet, they lose 10 and they put on another 35 and at some point those women, fat loss becomes it isn’t about diet culture anymore, isn’t about worthiness, it’s about reclaiming the body that they were always meant to have had they never gone on a diet at all. Lauren: Right and going back to diet culture, our culture is to blame people with larger bodies, right, that it’s their fault that they are in a larger body when it’s diet culture that put them there. Annie: Exactly. Lauren: Many, many times, right? It’s because of the dieting that they’re in a body that’s larger for them and obviously, that’s not universally true but in a lot of cases. Jen: Yes. Annie: Yeah, I feel like we could spend hours talking about how this harmful on so many levels. But I also want to leave some time and some space to talk about how we can kind of start to change it and the first one, I feel like this is our answer to everything on changing everything is just creating awareness, like, you know, like, we’ve talked about this in so many pockets on various topics but just opening your eyes and paying attention to what is diet culture, where you see it, where you experience it and where you hear it and just like start listening, start paying attention. Because as Jen said earlier, once you start seeing it, you’ll realize it’s everywhere. The second thing is break up with dieting. And I want to be clear that you don’t have to be on a diet to participate in diet culture, like that’s key. Like this isn’t just something that people who are dieting are participating in. But also that giving up on diet culture doesn’t mean that you’re giving up on your health. Like there are other options. And one of the ways you can start breaking up with dieting is to question the rules that you’ve been taught, the “rules”, right? The foods that you’ve labeled as good and as bad, your relationship with exercise, like what does that look like, are we exercising to punish ourselves, because we hate ourselves, because we think when we’re thin our life is going to be perfect and we’re going to have the perfect body and people who weigh less have less problems. And this can take years, like this is, I mean, as Jen mentioned earlier when she’s talking about some of how her decisions she still is kind of wrangling with, like, we’ve been in this and we’ve been doing this sort of work for almost 4 years and we’re still, or if not longer but specifically with our company for for almost 4 years and we’re still, like, kind of wading through the mud, like it’s cloudy and it’s messy and it’s muddy and it’s like, is this health? Is this diet culture? Is this supporting where I want to go or is this, like, disguised, a wolf in sheep’s clothing, so to speak? And then also vote with your dollars and your energy. Just a simple refusal to feed the diet industry, buying products that support it, whether it’s food, systems, magazines etc. You know your yogurts, your places you’re shopping, where you’re buying your clothes. Jen: And this stuff works. It can feel hopeless but, like, we are seeing a shift, like we are seeing a shift and people are getting really loud about it and companies are paying attention. Because we are seeing, we have never had so much, we don’t have a lot of diversity but we have never seen so much diversity in the media as we do today and that is from the work of all of us individually just throwing those pebbles into a pond which eventually make a wave. Annie: One of the places I really like to shop is Aerie, even, I don’t know if there’s an age limit on Aerie. Lauren: I really like Aerie too. Annie: I really like it and every time I go in there there are, you know, they’ve openly declared that they have stopped photoshopping their models, there’s often disabilities, women with disabilities in their marketing. There is, you know, not maybe as large of a variety of body types and skin colors as I would like to see but it’s more so than it was, you know, 3, 4, 5 years ago and just to circle back to LuLuLemon, obviously anyone that follows me knows that I love my Lululemon and I’m an ambassador for them and I would say the same thing for them too, following them on social media, they are carrying additional size ranges, like, they’re, I think they’re moving, what I see from them is- Jen: They’re moving Annie: They’re moving in that direction. Jen: And the thing is so, it’s understanding too, I remember, Annie, we had this talk right so the political party that I have traditionally voted for in Canada frustrates me to no end and so much so that actually our last federal election I did not vote for them and that’s sometimes is a stand that you have to take as a person but there’s another choice is to get involved in that industry or those companies or that political party and try to make change from within and so as far as Lululemon I don’t know if I’m going to stop shopping there but I am thankful for the awareness that my friend brought to me to say, “You know you’re supporting a store that doesn’t even want women my size in there” and that just stopped me in my tracks and what I am definitely going to be doing is going in and saying “This is how you make people feel, people I love and what do you have to say about that?” and that will be escalated. I recently took a stand at my local pool, so this is just another small example but I shared this on social media, I haven’t shared it on our podcast yet but there’s a swim club at my local swimming pool and I witnessed this male coach probably in his late teens, early twenties talking to a group of probably 11, 12, 13 year old kids making fun of people who are over 200 pounds and just the way he was, it was awful and I was sitting in the hot tub while he was doing this with the team and I’m sitting with my kids and after they left I really had a very, I addressed it with my children, like “That was not OK,” etc but then I’m not going to stop going to the pool, like that is a place that we enjoy and frequent. What I did do was I went to management and told them that this had happened and they were so thankful and now they will work, because the swim club is an external club that comes in, so now they will work with the club to make sure the club understands that this is a body-inclusive environment and that is not OK. So there are ways of, you know, there are certain brands you might love, you know, etcetera but until they are like that Victoria Secret, I mean Victoria’s Secret stepped up and said: “No, we are not changing.” They basically said, “We do not want big women in our stores.” I will not shop there anymore, that is my choice but I haven’t shopped there for years. If you have followed me long enough on social media you’ll know why. Annie: You’ve had some runins with Victoria Secret. Jen: They know me but so that’s just a choice you can make. You don’t have to walk away, it doesn’t have to be this break up, it can be like “Hey, I support you and I love you guys, I love your brand but here’s what I need from you to keep supporting you.” Annie: Which is actually a conversation that I have had many times with my local Lululemon store and they’re all about it. They are they are game to do whatever they can to help support that as well, I mean, they acknowledge that like “Yeah, we would love to be able to dress all women and like how can we make our voices heard and what actions can we take and how can we be more inclusive and more welcoming to men and women of all varieties even while in this very moment we only serve pant sizes up to a 12 or a 14? What else can we do, how can, you know, how can we start to create change?” and you know, these are the tough and sometimes uncomfortable conversations we need to have. Lauren: Well and I think too it’s sometimes even more impactful than boycotting, right, to have Annie in they’re saying, like, “Look, this is how what you’re doing impacts me, impacts these people, right? Annie: Right. Yeah and in addition to refusing to feed the diet industry, kind of along the same lines as to build your life online and in real life with people, books, music that support how you want to feel and hopefully that’s not a part of the diet culture and my friend Meghan talks about nourishing her body and when she first told me that nourishment was one of her core values, I kind of rolled my eyes because I thought she was going to give me this like elitist version of how she eats paleo. Jen: Green smoothies. Annie: Yes and what she was talking about, how she defines nourishment is what she puts in her ears, what she puts in her body, how she moves her body, what she reads, what she consumes on social media, like those are all the ways in which she nourishes her body and I love that definition and you know, just like Jen said earlier, you know, her feed used to be filled with before and afters and I’m guessing you’ve unfollowed. Jen: No, I don’t see any of that anymore. It’s jarring to me when I see before and after photos now, I’m like “Oh, where did that come from?” Annie: Yeah and it’s like, it’s OK, sometimes, you know, unfortunately like the saying “fences make good neighbors”, you know some of your friends might be really heavily engaged in diet culture still and you might have to unfollow or set some boundaries. Jen: Yeah, I say “It’s not personal, It’s about me, not you” right, like, “You go ahead and post your before and after photos, it doesn’t serve me and if I saw the odd one now I’d be fine but I I recognize it’s a slippery slope, right, if you have, you get on Facebook for 15 minutes and you have 16 before and after photos come through your feed, like eventually, eventually, that becomes our reality, like, it just does so yeah, curating your environment is so important. Annie: Yeah what else do you want to add before we pop off? I mean, I know this is such a heavy topic and there’s so many aspects and components to diet culture but I just really wanted to kind of throw something out there sooner rather than later for our community who might be new and might be struggling with the concept of diet culture and because even it’s so subtle sometimes I miss it, you know, sometimes I don’t even realize that what I just participated in was diet culture, what I just bought was supporting diet culture. Jen: I would say it’s OK to like get to the awareness stage and start noticing and making small changes in your life, one thing that I feel very passionate about is not overwhelming women and feeling like they have to be the only crusader for this cause, like, we really have only so much time and energy and number one needs to be taking care of you because you will never be able to take care of others until you can take care of you and us three going from the awakening to the taking care of us to making sure our cups are filled to starting this company to becoming crusaders that was a years in the making process, right, like, I didn’t realize one day diets don’t work and I have been part of this machine that exploits women’s vulnerabilities for my whole life to the next day starting a podcast and talking about all these issues, like, I mean, we’re talking years so don’t feel like you have to do all the things in one day but you’ve got to make sure you’re taken care of first. Lauren: Yup. Annie: The awakening, that sounds- Lauren: I like that too. Annie: I was like “Whoa, yes! Sign me up for that” Jen: Stay woke, friends. Annie: Stay woke to diet culture. That should be our new hashtag. Lauren: Hashtag. Annie: Hashtag stay woke to diet culture. Lauren: Tag us if you use it. Annie: All right this was and can be a really heavy topic but, and it is serious, like this is detrimental to our individual and cultural health and especially our children who are just unknowingly, you know, being exposed to it. We had a really great podcast on boundaries where we talked where Jen made the analogy that compared it to secondhand smoke and diet culture is the same way, you know, like that’s, you know- Jen: Just blowing smoke in your kids’ faces all day long. Annie: Yeah and we don’t doubt the intentions or love that a parent would have for their children, so creating awareness to how harmful this can be is, you know, the first step to really making some steps in the right direction but if you want to continue the discussion, if you want to discuss what is diet culture, what it isn’t, is what you’re experiencing or what you’re participating in part of the problem or part of the solution please join us inside our private Facebook group Healthy Habits Happy moms 40000 women that would be happy to continue this discussion inside there and the 3 of us are in there too participating as well so if you have more questions or if you’re still confused or if there is something that you want to talk about that we didn’t talk about in this hour, let us know we’re here, like this is just, I have a feeling this is just going to be an ongoing topic. Jen: Yeah this was the tip of the iceberg. Annie: Yes, the tip of the iceberg, exactly All right, well thank you ladies, it was a good chat. Jen: Yes. Annie: Alrighty, bye bye. Jen: Bye. Lauren: Bye. The post 49: Diet Culture Explained appeared first on Balance365 .…
Free Morning Routine Habit Tracker ! Mornings can be tough but they don’t have to be. Annie and Lauren chat with Makenzie Chilton of Love Your Mondays about the morning routine she recommends for her clients. In just 23 minutes, you can effect positive change on the trajectory of your day. Find out more about simple steps you can take starting tomorrow to make all of your tomorrows better. What you’ll hear in this episode: The scientific benefits of routine What is positive psychology? If you can only do one thing, this is it The power of gratitude Why you shouldn’t reach for your phone first in the morning Strengthening neural pathways for positivity The practice of daily journaling The mind-body connection Movement in the morning – why it matters Multitasking vs monotasking Acts of kindness Tim Ferriss’ approach to a morning routine All or nothing mindset and morning routines What implementing the morning routine for 60 days felt like Seinfeld’s Chain Theory How your brain responds to checking things off your to-do list The Ta-Da List – what it is and how it works Managing your screen time and the anxiety of disconnection Removing obligations to respond to things before you are ready Resources: Sean Achor TED Talk Tim Ferriss Morning Routine Seinfeld’s Chain Theory The Ta-Da List – Makenzie’s Instagram Post Love Your Mondays Website Learn more about Balance365 Life here Subscribe on Apple Podcasts , Spotify , Google Play , or Android so you never miss a new episode! Visit us on Facebook | Follow us on Instagram | Check us out on Pinterest Join our free Facebook group with over 40k women just like you! Did you enjoy the podcast? Leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or Google Play ! It helps us get in front of new listeners so we can keep making great content. Transcript Annie: If you’re like Lauren, Jen or I mornings can leave you feeling a little frazzled. Whether you wake up to an alarm clock or like mine, your alarm clock has two legs, stinky morning breath, needs a diaper change and is demanding breakfast, mornings can often feel chaotic and adding one more thing to your am to do list might not sound so doable but on today’s episode career coach and productivity specialist Makenzie Chilton shares a short and sweet morning routine that is scientifically backed to amplify positivity in the brain and optimize productivity throughout the rest of your day because let’s be honest, the first hour of your day can really affect the tone for what follows. Plus this only takes 20 minutes and you can include your whole family if you wish. After chatting with Mackenzie on today’s episode Lauren and I have already started to change the way we start our mornings and I think after listening you might be excited to explore it as well. I’m excited to share that we’ve got a super sweet freebie for you. You can download and print this routine and habit tracker off at www.Balance365Life.com/episode48. Mackenzie, welcome to Balance365 Life Radio, thanks for joining us. How are you? Makenzie: Good, thanks for having me. Annie: I am so excited to have you because we’re going to talk about morning routines. Lauren, you’re with us today, do you have a morning routine, Lauren Lauren: No, well, I tried to implement one and my son just doesn’t cooperate so I’m excited. Makenzie: To be honest, like, I know that I’m like “Everybody do this routine” but I’m super not perfect at it and my morning routine is coffee, nonnegotiable. Annie: I can get on board with that. Lauren: Oh, I have that. Makenzie: Yeah, yeah. Anything beyond that I’m just like “These are enhancing things” you know. Annie: Yeah, I could totally get on board with that, you’re not like “Do this or die, comply or die” it’s like, “I said these are going to make your day better” but before we get into that can you tell us how you got into morning routines? Makenzie: Yes. So, I’m a career coach now at Love Your Mondays and my background is in psychology so I feel like my story is not super unique in the way about a lot of people have experienced kind of like my path but my education is kind of unique. So I, typical, like went from high school right to university. And I didn’t know what I wanted to do, which, I feel like it’s a common theme for however old you are, 18, when you go to university. It’s still mind-boggling to me that we’re supposed to like have that figured out. Annie: I know, we’re babies, right? Mackenzie: Yeah and then I had taken psychology all the way through and I’ve always been super fascinated in people’s behavior and you know, why people do things, what’s the motive behind it and then I took this really awesome class in 4th year and it was forensic psych and I thought forensic meant death. Annie: Same. Lauren: Same, right? Makenzie: Yeah. It means, like, the study of Law. So it’s anything to do with law and psychology. At first, I was like, “How am I going to analyze dead people?” But it’s anything, essentially, with crime and psychology so that’s like the psychology of policing or jury selection or serial killers or mass homicide and those are the things that I focused on because I really found it fascinating how people could behave so differently than the norm, essentially. Then I worked in the prison system here in Canada for 3 years and I absolutely loved that job, like dream job, so I felt very lucky, I still feel very lucky to have experienced a dream job in a way because I felt like I was helping people that nobody wanted to help and I was getting like real progress with these like very violent criminals. But then I got laid off. Yeah, budget cuts, they cut our funding. And I got laid off and I was like “What I do with my life? So I started using the psychology I had and I went into, I worked in management for a while and combined those two things and started Love Your Mondays and so with that became, like, learning about all these, like, productivity things and how to be your best self and a lot of, I call them like, behavioral enhancements or motivators, right and so that’s where the morning routine kind of slid in because I’m not, I don’t thrive on routine, I have like a balance of like, like, chaos a little bit because it’s creative for me and but I also like cycle back to like really needing a morning routine sometimes. Annie: Fascinating. I, all of my, like, side note: murder mystery podcasts like memories are coming back to mind, like, I wonder what she thinks of that which we’ll have to chat about later. Lauren: Yes I was thinking of a lot and I was thinking of the murder podcast and like crime shows, Orange Is The New Black, I’m like- Makenzie: Yeah. Lauren: Let’s just talk about that stuff. Makenzie: Honestly, like, have you seen MindHunter? Lauren: No. Mackenzie: It’s on our Netflix, I think our Netflix is different than yours in the States but, he like goes into prisons in the seventies and he’s the guy that came up with the term serial killer. But that was like, essentially, my job for a while. Annie: Oh, fascinating. Makenzie: Talk to these. Yeah, it’s great. Annie: And now you’re on a podcast helping women with their routines in the morning. Makenzie: Right. Annie: But it’s all connected. Makenzie: It’s a cycle. It’s all behavioral. Annie: Yeah. So you have a routine because this is what you do now, you help people with productivity and starting their day on a little bit more positive note, as you said, like enhancing their day, enhancing their morning. You have your own routine that you shared with other people which is actually how you got connected to us because I think Jen found your morning routine and was like “Let’s talk about this” because so many women I think listening, myself included, are, in the mornings especially, trying to get themselves ready, get kids ready, manage schedules and it can feel like chaos and you’re just like clawing your way through it and it’s just like survival mode but there are some benefits to creating some routine regardless, I know you were going to get into some elements of the routine that you would recommend but there is some science about benefits of routine, right? Makenzie: Yeah, I mean, it’s structure, right, so it’s like a repeatable behavior that we can kind of eventually do without necessarily thinking about it that gives us structure and flow, especially in the morning for setting the tone for the rest of your day. Annie: Gosh, that sounds familiar, Lauren, huh? Lauren: Yes. Annie: We talk about habits all the time and how especially as busy women our motivation and energy and time are just like commodities that are so precious to us and if you can get into the habit of doing things or routine of doing things you can hopefully find yourself in a position where you don’t have to exert large amounts of willpower and motivation and determination and effort to get the results you want to get throughout your day or throughout your lifestyle or your fitness or your food or whatever it is we’re talking about. Hopefully, the idea is that with some of your tips listeners can implement some of those elements to their morning and have a better day overall, right? Makenzie: I want to, like, I’m not a mom, I’m an auntie, a loving auntie. But I do want to acknowledge that I understand that this isn’t maybe something that can be implemented all at once or all together or consistently every day and so I actually met Jennifer in person. And then she was watching my stories where I was talking about this routine on Instagram and she was like “Listen, when I get up in the morning like a truck ran over the cereal bowl and I spill coffee everywhere and I have 3 kids and it’s not happening” and I was like, “OK, fair.” Lauren: It’s kind of like, “Well, what kind of routine can you have when you wake up to a child screaming at you every day?” and I do really like morning routines and I try my best but I just have to remind myself like a lot of times it doesn’t happen or doesn’t happen consistently like I would like it to and I have to remind myself that like this is a season of my life and it’s not going to be this way forever and so I just have to do my best and let that be OK and realize that I’m not going to probably get my morning routine every day until my kids are older and like there’s just, maybe you have some tips for me but it may just be, like, that’s how it has to be for now. Makenzie: Yeah and I honestly, I really like that aspect of looking at it through a non-judgemental lens, right? Because some people will be like, “Well, I should, I should, I should and-” Annie: Or if I can’t do this routine start to finish, perfectly, all day, every day, then I’m not going to do any of it and I’m guessing you would say, like, “Pick what you can do.” Makenzie: Pick what you can do. Pick what you can do and find space even if it’s throughout the day, even if you complete these, it’s 23 minutes total. So when I was talking to Jennifer I was like, “Involve your kids in the morning if you can for certain things, depending on the age, obviously.” Annie: Yeah, well, now, you know, like 23 minutes it’s like, “OK, let’s get going now, my interest is piqued even though I already, I already know what’s in your routine, I’ve looked it over but I’m sure our listeners are like “OK just tell us the routine.” Lauren: Just tell us what it is. Annie: Yes, so tell us the secret. OK. So what do you do? You wake up and what? Do what? Makenzie: Well, I wake up, I used to be, I’m not going to use the words good or bad but I use to just check my phone right away. And I’ve tried to not do that because in my world it just means I immediately have, like, a list of 10 things that I have to do and it takes away from doing this so I like to, what I say, set myself up for success so I know that first thing in the morning, the only thing I have to do is the morning routine and then I kind of continue on with my day. So this routine, I didn’t come up with but I love it, it’s science-based which I’m a super fan of if you can tell, I’m kind of a nerd in that way, so it’s based on the work of Shawn Achor and he’s a positive psychologist, he has like a really, really funny TED talk. Annie: I watched it this morning. We’ll have to link that in the show notes. He’s super entertaining. Lauren: Oh I want to watch it. I really like positive psychology. I took a class on it once. Makenzie: Yeah, it’s amazing and so for people that maybe haven’t heard of positive psychology before it’s, the focus is more on like future, it’s future-focused behavior as opposed to a lot of other types of psychology that can be very diagnostic and past focused. And it looks at kind of, instead of, and he talks about this in the TED talk, instead of looking at the average, he wants to look at those outliers, so those people are operating at like a higher level of either happiness or ability to learn or whatever, whatever the marker is, they actually look at the outliers- Annie: In hopes of moving everyone up with them. Makenzie: Exactly. Annie: Yeah, so it’s, like, you’re, what are you doing well that everyone else can do well also so we can all do well together? Makenzie: Yeah, exactly, so we could all do well, instead of what happens a lot in, like, data science is that they try and figure out what the average is doing within a margin of error so they can prove it or disprove it. Annie: Yeah and sharing is caring, right? So- Makenzie: Exactly. Yeah. So what he found was that these 5 things and I’ll highlight the one specific thing, if you can only do this one thing then that’s the thing you should do but he found through his research that over 21 days it’ll change the wiring in your brain to make you happier, which is awesome, right? Annie: I’m in for that. Makenzie: Into that but what else he really, really drives home is that when we’re happy our brain operates at an up-level, so as opposed to negative neutral or stressed. So right now you might just be, you know, neutral which is better than being stressed but you aren’t able to think of creative solutions and your brain isn’t operating at a higher capacity like it does when it’s happy. OK, so the morning routine. So the first one is the thing if you can only, only do this one I suggest to people: write down, we’ve all heard this kind of before, but write down 3 things that you’re grateful for and get really specific with these things so thing, like I’m really grateful for my friends, is good but I’m really grateful for my friendship with Naomi because she always makes me laugh and so we see how much how much more specific that is, correct? Lauren: Right. Annie: Yeah. Makenzie: And so the benefit of doing this is that your brain, instead of noticing the negative things in the world first, it’ll train itself to focus on the positive. Annie: Which I really like that, because kind of circling back to the contrast of opening your phone the first thing that, I mean, that’s exactly what I do, I put on my glasses and I grab my phone from my nightstand, I unplug it and I’m opening up email, I’m checking Instagram and almost instantly I’m like, like, it’s just like this wave of, like, this cloud comes over me that’s like, “Oh my gosh, look at all this I have to do, look at all this I have to respond to and then here’s this chick, she looks like she’s just crushing it in the gym and her kids already ate this healthy breakfast and this girl already went for a run and I’m feeling like I’m just I’m already in catch up mode, before my feet even hit the ground I’m already like, “Oh my God, I’ve got to get going” and your suggestion is like don’t touch the phone, wake up and write down three things you’re grateful, three specific things you’re grateful for, so you start already, start focusing on the positive. Makenzie: On the positive. Lauren: I really like that part too because I think we know, I think we’ve talked about before, like, the more you can, you’ve got to create that neural pathway in your brain, right, where like when you think a certain way thoughts that are like that come easier to you, so like I always talk about it in in like, like, body image, right? Like you already have this, a lot of people have this negative thought process going and going and going and thinking like one time one nicer thought about your body, it’s going to feel really hard but the more that you do that the more you strengthen those thoughts. So yeah, I think that’s great and I just see a lot of parallels with a lot of different elements to that. Makenzie: And like this, if anything, if this is the only thing that you can do it still will improve your brain to be- Lauren: Yeah. Annie: And that takes, what? I mean 3-5 minutes at the most, if that. I mean, some days might be a little bit easier, might be able to come a little bit easier than others, but I mean, that’s not a huge time investment. Makenzie: And I think it’s really interesting when you do it, especially for about 10 days, around the 10-day mark you’re like, well, I’ve already said all the things because at first, it’s like, “Yeah!” Lauren: Oh, right. Makenzie: You know what I mean? And then after you’re like, I’ll just plant. Lauren: Can I repeat? Makenzie: But so then it becomes, like, a really kind of, like, fun exercise to try and find things, you know? Lauren: Yeah. Annie: Yeah. And I just, on a really simple, like, way of, like, looking at it, it’s like, the more you pay attention to the stuff the more you tend to see it, it’s just like the power of suggestion or whatever, you know? Like someone or when you’re pregnant, like suddenly everyone’s pregnant it’s like, like when you start looking for good stuff, the more good stuff it just seems to naturally appear. Makenzie: And that’s what we want to focus on, especially right as you’re starting your day. Annie: I love it. K, cool what’s next? Makenzie: Next step is journaling about one positive experience that you’ve had in the last 24 hours. And so the science behind this is kind of that your brain is reliving that positive experience and your conscious brain can’t tell the difference between a memory and between reality and so we see this a lot in people that have post-traumatic stress disorder because they’re reliving a terrible event right and their brain doesn’t know if it’s real, if they’re in a threat or not and so we kind of want to capture that and flip it into reliving a positive experience interest. Annie: So how much do you have to journal or is that up to the individual, like, set a timer or just? Makenzie: Yeah, so I think it’s like the first one, so the gratitude write down 3 things is about 3 minutes, this one I do just about 2 minutes, so even if it’s like a cute older couple I saw when I was on my way to the ice cream store, you know, I’ll try and remember if it was raining outside, if there are any smells and you go through kind of all the senses. And it can be as small as you witnessing like a loving glance between a really cute older couple or something like that, so it doesn’t have to be a big thing that necessarily happens to you even, it could be your witnessing of an event but just reliving like a one of those warm and fuzzies, you know. Annie: OK, because I’m over here thinking about like this like Dear Diary journal entry. Like 4 pages in your best handwriting where your hand starts to cramp. Makenzie: I mean, you can. Annie: But like, don’t overthink it, like, it could be something that you witnessed. Makenzie: Don’t overthink it. Annie: Okay. Makenzie: And you want to be like an easy yes, right? So like an easy behavioral habit that you can create for yourself. Annie: Got it. I love it. Makenzie: The next piece is, so Shawn Achor says exercise for 15 minutes, I say move for 15 minutes, any type of movement because I feel like that feels less daunting. For me, like, when I’m going to work out it’s like for 45 minutes to an hour and it’s like a thing and I’ve put the clothes on and you know I’ve to go out and do it and that’s what feels like a lot in the morning for me to do. Annie: Are you a Tim Ferris fan at all? So have you seen him share his morning routine? I guess, I don’t know if he has, like, a cooler name for it but he’s, that’s what it is, he probably has of like cool marketing term for it. Makenzie: Probably, it’s probably like super optimized and super, yeah. Annie: Like, be 10 times cooler in the morning with these 5 things. But he has something similar in there, he just says do 5 to 10 reps of something and he notes that getting into his body even if it’s just for 30 seconds affects his mood and I think he noted in this particular article that he just does like push-ups right now, like he does 10 push-ups and so, you know, maybe somewhere in between, you know, 10 pushups and 15 minutes or whatever you can give but just this idea that you’re like just getting into your body, you’re priming your body, so to speak, you’re embodying your body can get some endorphins going. Makenzie: Get the endorphins going and improves your, like, mind-body connection, which is such a real thing, like it affects your intuition, it allows you to listen to your body when you’re making decisions. And it’s teaching your brain that your actions matter. Annie: Yes. Makenzie: That’s kind of the link and that’s what we’re trying to get in the morning so it doesn’t have to be this daunting, you know, I’m training for a marathon or whatever it is, not that there’s anything wrong with that but I feel like for people that maybe have kids, this is a way that you can incorporate, depending on the age of your kids, like have a dance party for 15 minutes, like how great would that be, you know? For your little guys in the morning. Lauren: I think that would elevate everyone’s mood, right? Makenzie: Mhmm. Lauren: Yeah. Annie: For sure and it’s not, again, goes back to not a huge time investment. I think we meet a lot of women that are in a spot in their lives where they’re just saying no to exercise period because they can’t commit what they feel is worthy of an exercise routine, you know, like 45 minutes to a half hour, so it’s like, “I can’t do the whole thing so it’s just not good enough. I’m not going to do it at all. Kind of what we were talking about at the beginning with routines, like, I can’t do the whole routine so I’m not going to do any of it but this is, like, just 5 to 10 minutes, like, you know 15 minutes if you’ve got the time or whatever, but if you don’t have 15 minutes, like 5 minutes is better than nothing. Makenzie: Yeah, exactly and that’s, like, one song, like that’s how I kind of do my thing for the morning, I’m like, “OK, these are my 3 pumping up jams and that’s about 9 minutes or whatever it is, right? Annie: Yeah. Oh, I love that. Makenzie: I think it’s good too to just, like, notice where your things are that you want to work on so when you are talking about that it seems daunting to go work out 45 minutes, that’s me, like, I still have issues with consistent exercise because it seems like such a big deal by the time I, like, get sweaty and then I have to shower and so that’s why I do like this in the morning. Because it is easy. Annie: Yeah and you’re still getting benefits of moving your body. Makenzie: Yeah. Annie: Absolutely. Lauren: Can we go back to what you said before, you said, “It trains your brain that your actions matter” is that what you said? Makenzie: Yes. Lauren: Can you expand on what that means? Makenzie: So it goes back to that mind-body connection, right, so if you are noticing differences slowly over time and say your energy or in your ability to focus, your brain will be like, “OK this matters, it matters that I do this” and so an alternative examples of that is kind of and I still do this sometimes but someone said this to me and I don’t know where I read it or saw it that when you hit the snooze button, you’re essentially like lying to yourself first thing in the morning, like you’re teaching, right? And I love the snooze but you’re teaching your brain that you can change what matters in the morning right away and that’s how you’re starting your day and so someone said that and I was like “Oh my goodness. Wow.” So I was like, “OK, I don’t want to lie to myself first thing in the morning. But so this is kind of the reverse of that, that even if it’s, so it’s a dance party or it’s a quick 15 minute walk with your dogs or the push up thing, those small things even will teach your brain that what you’re doing is important because you’ll feel the energy, you’ll feel the increased endorphins, you’ll see the ability to focus and your brain will connect that to your body. Lauren: Gotcha so like you’ll want to do it. OK. Annie: Those become the part of the positive reward that follows the movement, in habit speak, yes. Awesome. OK, So, so far we’ve got, just to recap real quick, we have gratitude: writing down 3 things that you’re grateful for, then a little journaling reliving a positive experience and then exercise, 10 to 15 minutes, move your body whether it’s like dance party, a yoga, some squats, some pushups, a walk with the dogs, a run, whatever it is. Makenzie: Whatever it is. Annie: And then what’s next? Makenzie: So this one is both a buzzword right now or maybe for a little while but it’s meditation and I first found this like really daunting and I expected to be sitting in like, you know, typical yoga pose and like become enlightened real quick and the best description I found for meditation is, because I thought you were supposed to clear your mind, right, I thought that was the purpose and you are, but it’s focusing on your breath which is the key point number one and then letting your thoughts pass through without judgment and so I think that’s something that isn’t necessarily always taught in meditation classes that I’ve taken or certain apps that you can just download without any kind of background but my meditation teacher was, she said that and she was like “We’re just noticing that you’re really wanting coffee” and then you let it pass and then you go back to focusing on your breath. And so we’re only going to do this for 2 minutes in the morning. So 2 minutes breathing in, breathing out. Some people are really visual, so what I found super helpful is to breathe in and imagine you’re breathing in the color blue through your nose and then you’re breathing out the color red. And that like allows me to actually focus and do it. My thoughts will still come in but then I always, you just always kind of come back to the breath. Annie: I wonder how many people are breathing in blue and flowing out red right now because I’m pretty sure I was and I really, like, I really, I can picture that like- Makenzie: Yeah. Annie: And there’s I don’t know if this was intentional but the color association with, like, blue is, like, invigorating and light and airy and like, positive and red feels a little bit heavier and I don’t want to say bad but like negative. Makenzie: No. Right. Annie: So to breathe in the good stuff and exhale. Makenzie: Exhale yeah. I see that red stuff as like “I’m a dragon, like, power!” Annie: Oh I kind of like that too. But and I love that you say, like, 2 minutes, start there. Lauren: I was going to say is there a reason behind, like, the order and the time frames because I have recently gotten into meditation and I’m trying to be consistent and I’m not super consistent right now but I’m working on it and I know that I always try to do at least 10 minutes and I don’t know why, I just think I should do at least 10 minutes for some reason. Makenzie: I think that I’m sure there’s probably, like, research out there that shows like optimal whatever but I think there’s, like, certain people like Sting, I think he meditates for like 8 hours a day or something. Just like I don’t know what else he does. But I think, for me, there’s no way I could do 10 minutes. Which maybe says something about the where my brain is at focus-wise. So I don’t, I don’t really know how to answer that, I’m sure there is something out there, maybe I can do a little poking around. Lauren: I’ll look into it. Makenzie: But the idea is, you know, we come from such a society or culture where multitasking was like champions for so long. And I feel like it was, like, I always say that it was such a nineties thing that you’d write on your resume or likely early 2000 you know the “ability to multitask” whereas now you would write like “can stay focused on one thing.” Annie: Well and I think just in mommy culture that high productivity and multitasking is still very much, like, you know, I can cook dinner, I can have a baby on my hip, I can be listening to a podcast and texting with a girlfriend and change a diaper all at one time, you know, like, and that is just the reality of our lives but being able to really turn inward and focus on what your thoughts are, what your breath is and just having that moment where you’re just doing like just one thing. Makenzie: Just one thing, yeah. Annie: Just one thing can be really good too. Awesome. OK. So is there just one thing left on the morning routine? I feel like all this is like way more doable than I imagined. Makenzie: Right? It’s less scary. Annie: Yeah. Makenzie: So the last thing is acts of kindness. And there are acts of kindness like everyone sort of random acts of kindness where you buy coffee for the guy behind you in Starbucks but I like to keep it super simple. And so this idea is you can either write a positive text message or just someone a quick email thanking them or saying how proud you are of them for XYZ which I really like and this is what they kind of talk about in that TED talk. But what I found is if you do this for longer than 21 days and I have a pretty good circle, I have a pretty decent network, but when you run out of people that you feel comfortable being like “Hey, I really appreciate you and whatever”, just that quick little message. So I like to flip that into conscious acts of kindness, not random acts of kindness, it can be but it’s also just being aware that you’re doing something kind so if you’re holding the door open for someone you could think about it as “Yeah, whatever, like I know I learned my manners” or you could consciously think of that as an act of kindness. Annie: I love this. Of course, when you said buying people coffee in Starbucks I swear I’m always the person that gets their coffee paid for and then feels obligated to pay for the coffee behind and they’ve always had like a $20.00 tab. But I do think, like, just a simple text message, it could be a really great place to start, again, low on the time investment piece so if you’re cramped for time in the morning and it already feels chaotic, it doesn’t take a lot of time but what’s the reason behind that? Is there, does that, I mean, selfishly what does it do for me to send a note to someone, I mean, I can imagine, it makes the other person feel warm and fuzzy but- Makenzie: Right, well, it’s kind of putting the acts of gratitude and the movement and or exercise we do into an exercise, so it’s combining the two things and doing something that someone would be grateful for, so it’s again, creating action out of some of the other things that we tackled in the first four steps of the routine. Annie: And so I think, Lauren, maybe you started to ask about this. Is there a reason behind the order of this or can you mix and match? Makenzie: You know what? I’m fully for mix and matching. Annie: OK. Makenzie: I think that the first one, the three things that you’re grateful for, that has had the most research behind it to show an improved mood so if that’s what you’re going for, then, which I think everybody, if you asked them, like, “Would you want to be happier?” They would say, “Yeah. Of course.” Who would turn that down? So I don’t think the order necessarily matters and some people really notice that the movement for 15 minutes makes their day better so they end up just doing that. Some people know that the meditation is what they need and so they just focus on that, so like best case scenario, we can do all five of these things. I don’t do all five of these things. I try to. I try to get as many in as I can. Annie: When I was, back to Tim Ferriss, when I was reading his little article about it, he, I think he had a really great perspective, he had, I think, five or six elements to his morning routine as well and he said “I’m shooting for 2, 3, maybe 4 and if I can do some of this most of the days, I know that I am starting the day off on a good note and if I don’t get all five it’s not failure, it’s just, like, I didn’t, you know, like it’s kind of just like a point, like I’m just trying to check off a couple, you know? Makenzie: Yeah, I love that. Annie: Yeah, which takes the pressure off, like, again, going back to that all or nothing mindset like I can’t do the whole checklist then I’m not going to do any of it, like what do you have time for? Makenzie: Right, what do you have time for and what did you find to work for you? So say you could do all five for a week but then you’re like, “You know what? I really like the acts of kindness and the exercise.” Annie: Yes, so when you started this, Makenzie, did you do it all all at once or did you start with just one thing? Makenzie: I went gangbusters and I did all five for 60 days. Annie: What was your experience after 60 days? Makenzie: That I realized how many barriers came up for me, so thinking of 3 things to be grateful for 60 days, I was like “Ugh. Am I ungrateful because I can’t think of something new?” you know and then you can spiral into this mindset that I could easily make excuses so it wouldn’t always be first thing in the morning. But I would still be proud of myself that I got it done and so what I did was I had just a square that had 60 boxes and Seinfeld did this, so he called it the chain or the link something like that and he would X off on a calendar, I think it’s the chain, how he would write every day and his goal was to never break that chain, right? And so I feel like for building a habit that you really want to create having something visual like that where it almost feels like you’re getting a gold star is, it’s helpful but since then, I don’t do all of them every day. Annie: Yeah, it was just kind of you were running a test on yourself. Yeah, we have something similar in our Balance365 program, we have habit trackers because that visual representation, like just marking it off- Lauren: Just checking it off- Annie: Can be really, really rewarding, like “I did the thing!” Makenzie: I did the thing. Annie: I did the thing that I said I was going to do and I’m going to check it off and that checking it off feels so dang good. Makenzie: It does and like, lists, like, to do lists are real. You get endorphins. It’s the same. Your brain spikes when you’re able to check things off. Annie: Yes, here’s mine, and I like to make little boxes, Makenzie, you’re on here and I love to check off the, like, gosh, that, there’s nothing feels better than checking off those boxes or crossing that list off, like sometimes I put things on there that I’ve already done just so I can cross them off. Makenzie: Totally, I posted about this on Instagram the other day. Annie: Did you? Makenzie: I called it the Ta-da List. Annie: Yes I saw that. Oh my gosh. I love that we need to reshare that because I remember reading that, now that you said that, and it was you said “Write all the things that you have done and now it’s called the ta-da list” and I was like “Ta da! I did this!” Makenzie: And you feel so accomplished. Annie: Oh yes and that feels good and really, speaking about, in the context of routines, doing something just really small and starting your day off, like, “Look, I said I was going to do this thing and I already did this thing” and it can just snowball, like “OK, look, I already did this one thing, I can do this other thing” and I think, like, for me that’s making my bed, that’s just part of my morning routine, like it, I cannot go in and out of my room without that like distraction, like, it’s just like a visual distraction to me so if I just make my bed and it’s like, “OK, see, look like everything just”- Makenzie: Can’t crawl in now. Annie: Yeah, I mean I can lay on top of it. Pull the covers over it. Yeah but I think again, just to echo, you have some really great elements in your morning routine, just to recap really quickly one more time. You start off with gratitude, making a list of things that you’re thankful for, being as specific as possible. Spend a few minutes journaling, reliving a positive experience throughout your day. Exercise 10 to 15 minutes, just move your body in a way that feels good to you, then start, do some meditation, focusing on your breath, your thoughts without judgment, even as little as two minutes is good enough and then acts of kindness, was there a number? Did you prescribe a number or was it just? Makenzie: For acts of kindness? Annie: Yeah. Makenzie: I mean, I think that can be like a two-minute thing. Yeah. Annie: Cool. Makenzie: So it’s basically the 15 minutes of movement is the bigger one and the rest are like two to five minutes. Annie: And so you said, in total, this takes you about 23 minutes. Makenzie: 23 minutes. Annie: To be exact. Start to finish. Makenzie: Yes. Annie: And again, if you’re a woman in a position where you already feel like your routine or your mornings are just chaotic, don’t feel like you have to add all this in at once, you can, like Makenzie did, or you can incorporate your family in on it, maybe your family discusses acts of kindness or maybe you do the, you know, I’m just spitballing here, maybe you do the journaling, you’re reliving the positive experience as a family or as, you know, like- Makenzie: I mean, get ideas from each other, like make it a group thing. Annie: Yeah. Yeah. And so you, but you know, the other elements, really, as you said they’re small time investments but research has shown that they can have the power to rewire your brain to a more positive state of mind and as you said at the beginning, when you’re in a more positive state of mind, you can fire on all cylinders a lot more efficiently, like you can, you’re just, you’re more better at problem solving, you’re, I can’t even remember all the things that you listed and then that Professor listed as well in that TED talk, which again, we’ll link but- Makenzie: It’s wild and that’s why I do really recommend, like, that I get my clients all do this routine. And they, you know, it’s like part of their first piece of homework is to implement this routine because I do believe it works because one, I’ve tried it but also because the research shows that it works so there’s a lot of information out there right and so that’s kind of how I operate in just because of my background, I think, in psych but how I seek to put the best information in front of my clients or out there is just to see what has been proven to work. Annie: Yeah and you know what else comes to mind, Lauren, is when we were in San Francisco a mentor of ours gave us the 5-minute Journal. Do you remember that? And I think it kind of combined the gratitude, I started off. Yes, there it is, you have it and that combines a couple of the elements in there for you and it just kind of lays it out and it has AM and PM, right. Lauren: Yep. Annie: It’s clearly been a while since I did, I did start it but- Lauren: Same. Annie: You know, what I’m really honestly really excited about is I’ve already decided I’ve already I’m committed to not picking up my phone, not turning on my phone until the kids or I get my kids dropped off at school because I know, I can feel it overwhelming me in the morning. Lauren: Oh, that’s good. I might join you in that, so I’ve been wanting to put my phone on airplane mode when I sleep and then leave it like that and then I’m always worried like, what if something happens and people can’t reach me so I have to like deal with that- Makenzie: That anxiety, yeah. And that anxiety’s real. Like, I before I lived here I lived on the Island, Vancouver Island, and where I lived I got American cell reception so I didn’t get cell reception unless my roaming was on and my power went out so I had no Internet and I had no cell reception and I was just like “Huh.” You know, it was like such a weird experience to be like fully unplugged and like, kind of forced into it. I was like a 30 minute drive to the nearest town. And so it was a really cool, like almost forced experiment to like sit with how that made me feel and then realize, “I’m very anxious and do I want to feel like I’m attached to my phone?” and that was the catalyst for me. Lauren: I think the new iPhone update that I just got has like a, why are you shaking your head? Annie: Because I know what you’re going to say and I don’t like it. Lauren: You don’t like it? Annie: No, but go ahead. It’s why I haven’t updated my- Lauren: it has like a screen time thing but what it does is you can set screen-free hours so like you can set the hours where like all your apps won’t work and the only thing that works is like text messaging and phone calls and I think I might try that. Annie: I just really like- Lauren: You can override it, though. Annie: OK, that’s what I would do all the time. Lauren: Yeah, I know. I’ve done that. Annie: All the time. I really do like the idea, though, of just, I think that’s a super simple change that I could make tomorrow. Is starting my day off in a more like proactive positive mindset, instead of being so reactive and I don’t remember where I was reading this but they were just speaking about how, you know, a lot of times we have this like urgency or anxiety about responding to emails right away or whatever and oftentimes it’s like a reaction to other people’s procrastination, it’s like, you know, they decided not to email until this time and now you feel obligated and it just sets off this whole like a domino effect where you feel like you’re just, like, “I’ve got to do all this right now” versus “OK, I’m just, like, I’m cool, I know I’ve got my stuff together and I’m just going to open my phone up when I’m ready to process all of it” versus process it and then like “Oh now, I’m going to start my day with you know” Lauren: Just make sure you respond to my Slack messages, OK? I’m kidding. Annie: You’ll probably just text me or call me if I don’t respond. That’s me, I joke that I’m Team No Chill so if I don’t get a response right away, you can rest assured that I will be trying to connect with you via Instagram D.M., Facebook Messenger, text message, phone call, FaceTime. Anyways, OK, Makenzie, this was so wonderful. I, you know, I think when we think of morning routines, we do think of things like “OK, we’re going to get dressed, we’re going to brush our teeth, we’re going to make our bed, we’re going to pack our lunch,” you know, that sort of stuff and this was on a much deeper level than that. Makenzie: I’m all about that. Let’s go deep! Lauren: I really appreciate that it was quick too, like, I think of morning routines, I think of, like, you need to journal 10 pages and that just like a hard pass for me but this seems doable, for sure. Annie: Yeah. Lauren: Even if I can’t do it all all the time because I do have a 4-year-old and a one-year-old and- Makenzie: Right. Lauren: They don’t always sleep until even six. Makenzie: And I’m fully aware that like, Moms, you need your sleep, so I’m not in any way suggesting that but if you can incorporate the kids or you know, when they’re dropped off at the school then you dive into this stuff, I think it’ll, you know, I got shivers when you were talking about like maybe incorporating the kids to do that because just imagine how they’re going to walk through the world now, being grateful for things in the morning and if you start them doing that at like age 7, just imagine what they’ll grow up to be like, you know? Annie: Yeah, Lauren: Yeah. Annie: I love it and so, you know, the big takeaway is make it work for you, like these were all really good ideas and suggestions and again, make it work for you and if you want to continue the discussion on morning routines and you aren’t already a part of our free Facebook group of Healthy Habits Happy Moms please do that because I think our community is, I know our community is going to have some really great additional ideas on elements to include or how they’ve made this their own or how they made it work for them so thank you so much. This was so much fun. I enjoyed it, we will have to have you back again soon but maybe we can discuss like murder mysteries. I feel like that would really go well with Balance365 Life Radio slash Murder Mysteries. Lauren: Yes. It’s an obvious pairing. Annie: Clearly. No brainer. OK, thank you, Makenzie, we’ll talk to you later. The post Episode 48: Getting In The Habit Of A Morning Routine appeared first on Balance365 .…
In today’s Balance365 member spotlight, Annie sits down with Balance365 member Rachelle Cowan to discuss the difference the program made in her life and in the life of her family. Healthy habits, mindset shits and learning to navigate the messy middle is discussed as well as the value of community in building healthy habits. Tune in for a powerful personal story, laughter and the joy of a life lived with moderation! What you’ll hear in this episode: Rachelle’s Balance365 experience What Rachelle was looking for How Goldilocks, good/better/best and all or something fit into sustainable practices Short term strategies and short term results Non-negotiables – you don’t have to give them up Our ability to influence our kids with our confidence and choices Setting boundaries around talk about bodies in public with our kids How Balance365 impacted Rachelle’s kids’ lives Resources: Episode 13: How Your Body Image Impacts Your Children With Hillary McBride Learn more about Balance365 Life here Subscribe on Apple Podcasts , Spotify , Google Play , or Android so you never miss a new episode! Visit us on Facebook | Follow us on Instagram | Check us out on Pinterest Join our free Facebook group with over 40k women just like you! Did you enjoy the podcast? Leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or Google Play ! It helps us get in front of new listeners so we can keep making great content. Transcript Annie: Hey, Annie here, thanks for joining us for another episode of Balance365 Life radio. I am super excited about this episode because today you’re going to meet one Balance365 member who first joined the community during one of our free challenges. She says she came for the awesome free workouts but decided to stick around in hopes of finally cultivating the self-love she had been looking for her whole life. Rachelle is a ridiculously energetic working mother of two young girls who shares that this program has transformed not only her life but her daughters as well. I had so much fun talking to Rachelle and I know you’re going to love learning from the insights she shares on today’s episode as well. Enjoy! Rachelle, thank you so much for joining us for our member spotlight. How are you? Rachelle: I’m great, thanks. How are you doing? Annie: I am just golden. Are you sitting in your car right now? Rachelle: I am. I’m actually on a break from work. Annie: Bless your heart. You are the second interview I’ve done where women have had to take a moment out of their work day to do that so I really, really, am I going to get you in trouble by sharing that you’re at work? Rachelle: No. I got it all cleared through management. Annie: Well, thank you for your time. I appreciate it. Let’s just jump right in because I don’t want to take away from your work day but I do want to talk to you. Can you tell our listeners a little bit, just quickly, how you found Healthy Habits Happy Moms or Balance365 or both even. Rachelle: Sure. HHHM, which I usually call it HHHM because it’s like an idea, right? It sinks in. You guys were doing the, I think it was Screw the Resolutions. I can’t remember exactly what it’s called but I saw it posted and I was like, you know what, I want to see what this is about. My feed was filled with lots and lots of like sales people that are trying to sell me the perfect drink, the perfect diet, you guys just kind of stood out. Annie: Yeah, because it was New Year’s. It was, yeah, New Year’s time we did that Screw Your Resolutions challenge and it was like, here’s the alternative to sustainable resolutions, like instead of like making these enormous goals that eventually everyone always fails on, like why don’t we try something a little bit more moderate. Rachelle: Exactly, and you got me hook, line and sinker. Annie: Yes! Mission Accomplished. So you joined and what happened? Rachelle: I got to see all the posts. The posts are what got me first, not just from you and Lauren and- Annie: Jen. Rachelle: Jen. Thank you. Long day. But I got to see the the posts from the members too and then we started seeing things from B365 and it took about a year before I swapped over to B365 with the other one on top but it was nice seeing all of these women that were just like me, all at different stages of life and actually making it work for them. Annie: Yeah, so what were your goals when joining? What did you hope to get? Rachelle: At first I was skeptical. I think that that’s normal for anyone, you know, you join a group in it about healthy habits then you’re sitting there going “OK, but how healthy?” Like are you going to tell me I can never have french toast again? We’re just not going to be friends. But my goal was to find something that made me love me for how I look and who I am and having your moments you still had to find some way to be able to like yourself. Annie: Amen. Rachelle: So that was my goal. Annie: Yeah, what a great goal because I don’t know if you had tried anything else prior to Balance365 but in my experience so many women are looking for a diet or an exercise program to give them just that. Like, if I reach my perfect body then I’ll feel like my life is perfect and I won’t have any more of this like self-deprecating junk that comes along with my body image right now and that would be really great if it worked that way- Rachelle: If it was sustainable. Annie: Yeah, but often that, like, emotional labor is in fact a labor of all of it’s own and that’s what I think really sets us apart from other programs out there is that we address the whole person and that is our goal is that like we don’t really don’t care if you lose weight, gain weight, maintain your weight, like, ultimately, if you feel good about what you’re doing and where you’re at and your relationship with your body is a place where you feel good about then, like, that’s all that really matters to us. Rachelle: And that’s why I fell in love with you guys is that it literally was, you know, yes, you have these amazing workouts which, by the way, are amazing and they’re really time efficient, so I can do it in the morning before I come to work and I don’t look like such a hot, sweaty mess. But it wasn’t just about the workouts and you guys add the modifications where anywhere else they don’t do that, they don’t add in the modifications, they want you to be able to do these things, right off the start. Annie: Yes. You’re just making me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. But really, the point of this podcast is to be about you and if you don’t mind, I want to share a win that I pulled not not too long ago from our private Balance365 group and you said “A year I have been working on my habits but since the start of the Supermom Strong Challenge I have added better habits and this has been my journey. It’s not about the 16 pounds lost or about the 9 inches lost, it’s what I’ve gained in this process of adding healthy habits, working on Goldilocks, which for people listening is our satiety habit. It’s our habit where we talk about, we call it Goldilocks because we want you to feel not too full, not like you’re still hungry but just that, like, right middle in between so Goldilocks is the perfect name for that habit and learning the “all or something mindset.” I’ve gained strength. I’ve gained knowledge and I’ve gained an understanding that size means I advocate this group Balance365 and Healthy Habits Happy Moms to anyone who will listen because for 31 years I fought against my body and hating watching others do the same. I love each and every member in these groups because without you I wouldn’t be the woman I am today so thank you.” Like, wow, that sounds like a total transformation is what it sounds like. It that how you feel? Rachelle: It is. It is huge. I mean, I’ve always been a heavier person. I graduated grade 8 and I was already in a size 20 pant. Like I went to high school and I was that big girl that you see in all those funny movies but you know, they don’t really have a shine on and you feel like you’re in the back, right? You feel like you’re not important. These groups and this program and all the work that you guys do that makes us think about ourselves, that makes us get into our heads and figure out what our real goals are, it has made me look at not just my body differently but my whole life. I’m done playing the supportive character because I am a star, so why not shine? Annie: Yeah, oh my gosh, can we just, like, get a clap for that? Like, yeah, like if I could fist bump you or high five you or, like, chest bump you or something, like, yes, you know, that really resonates with me and in fact, I was just thinking about that the other day about how I can identify with a lot of that, like, I was the same, I was always, I don’t know, I just, my body was just one of the bigger bodies really fast in elementary school and I was always like the funny girl, like the funny chunky, like and that’s what you see in the movies today too, you’re so right that’s, like, so it’s so refreshing to see you know people like Amy Schumer and like, the Ghostbusters movie, the female Ghostbusters movie where it wasn’t like this one ideal body type and these people are playing the stereotypical roles and she’s the, you know, the stepsister that’s chunky or overweight or whatever, it’s like yeah, like, you deserve a center stage in your own damn life, like. So tell me, tell me about how you got from point A to Point B because it sounds like you didn’t maybe always feel like that, that’s why you wanted to join the program. You wanted to cultivate more self love. So what were you doing before that and how did you get to where you are today? Rachelle: Really unhealthy habits is where I started, like, very unhealthy. Skipping lunch and breakfast and only eating a small dinner and then leading to the weekend where you’re home so you can sit there and eat an entire pizza and perhaps box of Oreos. And pushing myself to do movement that I wasn’t enjoying, like, I love yoga but I’m not very good at it. I have no balance and I have no coordination so some of the moves, you know, you push yourself to do them and you end up hurting yourself. That was my mindset – pain was what you needed to do to get perfection. After joining Healthy Habits and then joining B365, you know, it kind of kicked into the “I’m supporting all of these people and I’m saying these things and I mean it when I’m saying it to them but it was time to start looking inward and saying the same thing myself.” So following your videos and joining a gym and eating healthy, balanced meals, like, it’s not easy all the time, there’s still, like today I forgot my lunch in the fridge because I’m forgetful and it’s really early when I leave the house. But it’s knowing that, OK, that would have been the best lunch but I’ll go for something better. So I stopped in the cafeteria and I grabbed a fruit cup, that was probably not the best thing in the cafeteria, but it was quick, it was easy, it was delicious so it was learning those habits and trying to transform them into my life and make it so that it was OK with me and not just with me but my daughters too. Annie: Yeah, for sure and what I hear you saying, Rachelle, is that you weren’t perfect in your time with us but you’ve still achieved so much, you’ve still seen a lot of progress towards your goals, not just physically but mentally as well and I think that something that is one of the biggest mindset shifts that women experience in our community is that that all are something, that like, I don’t have to be perfect, that the two options are not perfect or failing or right or wrong, on the wagon, off the wagon, I’m either all in or I’m all out, like you can, like, navigate that middle ground, that gray between area where, if you’re like us, you probably feel like “I could be doing more, I should be doing more” but if you stay in that middle ground long enough you’re still going to see results. Rachelle: Yeah. Annie: And those and it feels like your whole world opens up when you don’t have to be perfect all the time, like “Hey, I could just be good or I can be better, like, I don’t have to be the best.” Rachelle: I think it was in the B365 group that I actually heard it the first time is “Progress not perfection” because none of us are going to be perfect 100% of the time, that’s unsustainable, it’s unattainable so it’s progress, so, OK, I had pizza last night but I paired it with salad. That’s just as good. That’s still progress compared to me sitting there and eating an entire Domino’s pizza myself. Anne: Right, yeah, actually pizzas is a staple in our house. And I love pizza. I love to eat pizza and I was the same way. Every Friday night was our “cheat meal” – this was in my dieting days or cheat meal and I would eat a whole pizza myself and then some cinnamon bread sticks, like dessert things and I would just feel disgusting, and it wasn’t even had to do with the quantity or the calories, it was just like, “I don’t feel good physically. I feel sick” and now I’m happy to say that I’m in a place where, like, I can have a couple pieces of pizza and then just be done, like, but what so often what we see in women that are still really heavily dieting is they just say “No pizza ever, like at all,” but it’s like “OK, I can have some pizza, like you said, with a salad or I can have just a few slices” like, there’s ways to incorporate pizza. Because to me, a life without pizza is sad, like- Rachelle: It’s the same with poutine. OK, I’m Canadian. I’m not giving up my poutine, it does not matter if I want my butt to bounce quarters off of it.That’s a staple, well, in my life, anyway, I don’t know about anybody else’s- Annie: It’s a non-negotiable. Rachelle: It’s a staple for me. It is. It’s a non-negotiable. And that’s what you guys teach us, right? It’s okay to have non-negotiables. It’s OK not to give up your favorite things in life. If you want that glass of wine, have the glass of wine, it’s not going to derail you for the rest of your life. Annie: Yeah and giving up those things temporarily are likely only going to give you temporary results and that’s one thing, if you want to go into it eyes wide open and say “I’m going to give up this thing and I’m going to maybe see some temporary results for it” but knowing that as soon as I introduce that thing, whatever it is that I’ve removed from my diet back into my diet, I’m probably going to lose the results that I made” and it’s just like, we say that with absolutely no judgment whatsoever because we’re all about teaching you how to fish versus giving you a fish and if that’s a tool you want to use for summer time or a vacation or a wedding or a reunion of sorts, fine, do you, girlfriend but know that, like, those probably aren’t sustainable practices and again, you can do that, you can use those tools in the toolbox without judgment but back to the poutine, I only had poutine once, I mean, let’s talk about the really important stuff, food. And it was at McDonald’s and it was actually really good because, for the American listeners, it’s not really, it’s not a, it’s a French inspired cuisine, right? And it’s French fries with gravy, isn’t it? Am I remembering that correctly? Rachelle: And cheese curds. Annie: Yeah, that sounds great. Rachelle: And they have to be the good cheese curds that actually squeak in your teeth when you bite into them. Annie: Do you have, like, do you make this yourself or do you order it at restaurants? Rachelle: I do make it. I do make it. You know, I order it, not McDonald’s. Annie: Is McDonald’s not the best choice? Is that what you’re saying? Rachelle: It’s not a bad choice, it’s a good choice. Annie: For poutine quality it might not be the best poutine quality source. Rachelle: Exactly. Annie: Yeah like you could get better. Poutine from McDonald’s is better than no poutine at all. Rachelle: Exactly. Annie: Funny. OK, so back to Balance365, we digress. And oh, I do want to celebrate this win too, because this is also huge. You’ve been working with a trainer on your exercise habit outside of Balance365, which again, we totally support, it’s not like you’re with us or not at all. And you just celebrated doing your first assisted pull up, is that correct? Rachelle: It is correct. It was terrifying. I don’t know- Annie: Why was it terrifying? Rachelle: I’m 5’2″ with shoes on so that bar is really high in the air and when you’re as short as I am and you’re terrified of heights, getting to that and trusting that this itty bitty little rubber band is going to hold you and you’re not just going to crash to the floor was really really tough to mentally get over but it was so much fun. I felt like such a super star, it’s like “I’m Supergirl! I’m doing this. This is so great.” Annie: Yes. That’s amazing. That’s part of what I love about being a personal trainer is that so often I am put in that opportunity to present women with challenges they’re not really sure if they can do. I think they can do them or I know they can do them but they’re like, there’s just some mental hurdles or some blocks there, they’re like “Can I get up to that bar” and just last week I had a woman just hang from the pull-up bar, like unassisted, just hang and she was like on top of the world after that and it’s like- Rachelle: I want to give her a high 5, honestly, because it’s like, “Yeah, you rock!” have you ever tried to do the monkey bars? Because when I first started working out I tried to do the monkey bars and I thought I ripped my armpits off. Like it was just pure pain, so to do the assisted pull-up or just hang from a bar, it’s that accomplishment that you’re just like”Wow, I’m a badass.” Annie: Yes. Yes you are and you can do hard things and you can do things that maybe you didn’t think you could do or like, have the ability to do and you’re capable of doing them, like, what a moment, so snaps for you, girlfriend. Rachelle: Thank you, thank you. Annie: Yes. OK, so tell me, I know you already shared a little bit, or a lot, about how Balance365 has positively impacted your life but is there anything else, any other areas it’s impacted your life that maybe surprised you or? Rachelle: My daughters. My daughters, you know, we used to, I used to get really embarrassed when they would point out people’s body shapes or use the word ‘fat’. For the longest time fat was a swear word in our house. It was one of the things like stupid or other bad names that you shouldn’t- Annie: Don’t call people that. Yeah. Right. Rachelle: It was just like, “No, that’s not OK” and then someone in a group, I don’t remember who it was, I wish I did but they posted that you’re not fat. You have fat. It was like, “You’re right. OK.” And then the podcast came out about dealing with your daughter’s body image and all of a sudden I just looked at my girls and I mean, my oldest is going to be 13 in a month and they’re at that age, they’re at that age where people are saying things about their body and they’re saying things about people’s bodies so it was refreshing to hear Jennifer say, “We do that at home. You can still comment at home but to be polite and not hurt people, we don’t say it out in the real world.” So we started instituting those with the girls and then explaining to the girls that movement is a great thing for your body but you have to enjoy it. So do things that are good for you. The amount of self-confidence I’ve seen in my kids since I started this journey is amazing because you don’t realize how much you rub off on them. Annie: Yeah I hear that a lot from women and you know, also what we also hear from women is, and I just interviewed another member saying something similar is that the impact that our mothers have on us have been so instrumental in our behaviors and how we feel better bodies to think that we have any less power is just silly, you know, like we have so much influence on how our kids are growing up and feeling about their bodies to be a mom that’s like “Hey, I was really nervous to do this pull up and hang from this band and this bar but I did it” like like how, I just think my life would have been so different had I had those conversations with my mom and my mom was doing the best she can and she was a wonderful, wonderful woman, I love her with all my heart but she just didn’t know any better and now and now and now thanks to research, thanks to communities like ours, tooting our own horn, and women. Yes and women in our communities that are contributing to these conversations, we have so much more resources available to know that like, “Hey, we can do better. We can have different conversations. We can change the narrative. We can create new stories that are ultimately going to impact our daughters’ lives,” like, yeah, that’s awesome. That’s got to feel really good. Rachelle: I think so. It is. It’s different to see. I mean, I have girlfriends who have little girls as well and just the difference in, I’ve noticed the difference in my kids’ empathy levels versus their kids empathy levels, it’s just one of those “Hmm….” and the fact that my kids go around, you know, using our mantras from B365 and from HHHM, it’s kind of awesome, you know. Annie: We should put them on the payroll. Rachelle: When our kid’s teacher in our kids’ interview is actually talking to you and says like “You know, Summer said it was better to do all or something because that’s what’s important” and I’m like “Oh my god! You do listen to me. Oh. Whew. We might be OK.” Annie: We’re going to make it. That’s awesome. OK, Rachelle, last question and then I’ll let you get back to work, if you knew that there was a listener or you had a girlfriend that was on the fence, a little bit cautious, a little bit unsure about joining the program, what would you tell her? Rachelle: Remember your steps and remember your why. Your why is the most important thing that you can possibly have and if you’re looking to fulfill yourself in a way that is more realistic, more attainable and have the most amazing support behind you then give this a real try because this is going to change your life and it’s not just gimmicky, this is going to change your life, this is literally something that after, I’m going to be 34 in a month and this changed my entire world and it didn’t just change my world, it changed my relationship with my sisters and mother, it changed my relationship with my daughters, it’s given me more worth of who I am and it puts you in a much better place. Much happier place. Annie: That is awesome. I cannot thank you enough. You were so fun to talk to. Rachelle: I’m glad you think I’m fun. It’s like a celebrity moment over here for me. I’ve been blushing all day. Annie: As I show up late with my Coke Zero and like “Hey, just let me put in my headphones real quick.” I probably have protein ball seeds in my teeth. Anyways, it was so much fun, thank you so much for your time. I hope we didn’t take too much time from your work but I’m certain that some of the stories and experiences you shared today are going to resonate with some of our listeners and that’s what makes this whole community work, that it’s not just about me, Jen and Lauren, it’s about our community and the women inside of it and an opportunity to learn from each other and grow with each other and I can’t thank you enough for that, so thank you. Rachelle: Thank you. Annie: Alright, thank you, we’ll talk soon, OK? Rachelle: Alrighty. The post Episode 47: Balance365 Member Spotlight with Rachelle Cowan appeared first on Balance365 .…
When the New Year rolls around, people start making resolutions to change their lives. More often than not these ventures end in failure, but it doesn’t have to be that way. It’s not a lack of willpower, motivation or hard work. It’s just the way we make resolutions isn’t always consistent with the science of behavior change. Jen, Annie and Lauren explore the three ways you can make better resolutions this year, or even decide whether you need to make resolutions at all. Resolve to join us and learn more! What you’ll hear in this episode: The best time of year to buy used exercise equipment New Year’s resolutions and FOMO The Power of Suggestion, product placement and targeted ads Jumping on the bandwagon and following the leader The perfect storm of post-holiday shame Shame-based marketing as motivation for change Ending the binge-restrict cycle Learning to let the pendulum settle Zooming out to give context to holiday eating What happens when you try to change too many things at once Outcome-based goals vs habit-based goals How to turn an outcome-based goal into a habit-based goal Resources: Five Stages Of Behavior Change Episode 15: Habits 101 – Hack Your Habits, Change Your Life Episode 22: The Oreo Cookie Approach To Breaking A Bad Habit Learn more about Balance365 Life here Subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Google Play, or Android so you never miss a new episode! Visit us on Facebook| Follow us on Instagram| Check us out on Pinterest Join our free Facebook group with over 40k women just like you! Did you enjoy the podcast? Leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or Google Play! It helps us get in front of new listeners so we can keep making great content. Transcript Annie: The New Year is upon us and with that comes optimistic feelings of a fresh start, a clean slate and a chance to reach our goals. Love them or hate them, it’s estimated that almost half of Americans make resolutions every year. Step into any gym the 1st week of January and it’s clear that fitness and weight loss goals are topics for most resolution makers. Resolutions are a dime a dozen. It’s sticking to them that can be difficult. Sadly, the reality is that most of us who vow to make changes in 2019 will drop them before January is even over. On this episode of Balance365 Life Radio Jen, Lauren and I dive into common reasons why New Year’s resolutions fall flat and changes you can make to help ensure you stick with your goals long after the New Year’s excitement fades. Enjoy! Lauren and Jen, welcome back! We are discussing New Year’s resolutions already, can you believe it? Lauren: No. Jen: I can’t believe how quickly this year has gone. Annie: No, I feel like I blinked and it was like the end of the year. Jen: I feel like I just saw you guys in San Francisco in February. Annie: I know, it was like a year ago. Jen: I know. Annie: That’s what happens when you see each other every day and talk to each other every day, all day. Besties. So we are talking about New Year’s resolutions because, I mean, it’s obviously a timely subject, we’re coming up on the end of the year and people are thinking about what they want to accomplish in the New Year, right? Which is ironic because we used to have a challenge, we did a challenge a couple years ago called the Screw Your Resolutions challenge and it was our alternative, our Balance 365 alternative to resolutions because so many of us have made resolutions and failed, right? Have you done that? Jen: Most people. Lauren: Yeah. Jen: In fact. Lauren: No, I’ve never done it. Jen: In fact, I keep my eye out for workout equipment around March and April because it all goes back for sale, you can get really good deals on treadmills around that time. Annie: Yes and workout clothes as well too, like they’ll go on, I mean, they’re not on sale right now necessarily but because it’s a popular time to be buying them. Jen: Yeah. Oh I mean second hand- Annie: Oh, OK. Jen: March, April, yeah people, they buy, they get the deals in December-January, they spend $2000.00 on a treadmill and then by March-April it’s back up for sale for like $400.00 So keep your eye out- Annie: Because that treadmill trend- Jen: on buy and sell websites. Yeah because you just hang laundry on it, really. This is what you do. I mean, I’ve been there as well. But I sold my treadmill when we moved last time and I really regret it because now I’m looking at getting another one. And but I’m going to wait I’m going to wait for the New Year’s resolution dropouts to put theirs up for sale- Annie: Yeah, she’s going to take advantage of you guys, listen. Jen: March-April. Annie: She’s going to prey on you. Lauren, what about you? Have you made a resolution and failed to keep it? Lauren: Yes, pretty much every year besides the last five. Yeah, it was always obviously diet exercise related too. But then I would add, like, other things so I would want to do all the things. Annie: Yep. Which we’ll talk about. Please don’t jump ahead of my outline. Lauren: I’m sorry. Annie: We’ve talked about this. Jen: I made a New Year’s resolution-ish. It was a couple years ago it was really big to choose a word, like choose a word for 2016 or 2017 whenever it was and I jumped on board that train and it was a success but we will talk about that later. I won’t skip us ahead. Annie: What was your word? Jen: It was respond. Annie: Oh, OK. Jen: Rather than react because I found myself, I was, like, you know, I could be quite reactive. Annie: No. Jen: So I really worked on that secondary, that response, when your inner B. F. F. comes in and it’s like “Whoa, chill out, girl.” Annie: Yeah, I dig that. Jen: What about this? Annie: Yeah. Jen: So then I would find, you know, I think it was 2016, I worked really hard on it and I’m much better at keeping my reactions under control and responding. Annie: Well, I’ll be interested, maybe a little bit later you can tell us about why that was so successful versus other attempts. But before we get any further, really, today we just want to discuss, I have 3 main reasons that we see resolutions kind of fall flat and I want to be clear that we are not anti resolutions, we’re not anti goals, we’re not anti action plans or whatever you want to tackle, resets, restarts, refreshes in the New Year because I’m totally one of those people that gets super excited about the idea of like a clean slate, like, that’s really, like, I love, like, a fresh start, going to start over. I get to do this. I’m going to do it right. It’s super exciting and super motivating but just the way in which people approach them and their expectations around resolutions are usually why they aren’t successful with them. Jen: Yeah we are pro, we want you to be successful. Annie: Yeah so we’re going to discuss 3 ways you can make your resolutions a little bit more successful because again, it’s not that there’s anything wrong with resolutions inherently, It’s more how we approach them and our expectations surrounding them. So let’s just dive right into it. The 1st one is that remember that you can set goals, create new habits, set intentions any time of the year, right? Like this is not something specific just to New Year’s Day or New Year’s Eve, you can do this February 1st, just the same as you can March 1st or May 15th, like whatever time you want to set new goals, you can make new goals and as I noted, I totally understand the excitement that comes when everyone else around you is doing the thing, right, and it’s contagious and I have severe FOMO, you know, fear of missing out so I feel this pressure like “Oh I want to do that, like, that’s really exciting, right?” Jen: Well, it can be like when you go shopping with your girlfriend and you only need one thing, like you need a pair of jeans and then you get in the store and your friends are like “I’m getting jeans. Oh, I also need earrings and look at this top, it’s so cute, and this coat” and then all of a sudden you’re like “Yeah, those things are so great. I should look at them too and I should get them too” and then all of a sudden you’re leaving the store with like 6 bags and you only want one pair of jeans, right? So during New Years, it’s just that you’re just surrounded by people changing all the things and you’re like “Well that is such a good idea, I need to address that in my life too. Oh and that would be great too and that too” and then all of a sudden you’ve got 10 New Year’s resolutions. Annie: And the power of suggestion, sorry, Lauren, go ahead. Lauren: I was going to say, well, even more than that for me is I would feel like I had to make a New Year’s resolution period, like even if I was not in a particular space in my life where I could handle a new goal or setting a New Year’s resolution, like, I had my daughter 5 years ago on December 1st and so it was like “Oh, I should make a New Year’s resolution” while I had an infant, you know, right, probably not the best time. Annie: Yes and I was just going to add to the power of suggestion is really, really strong around this year because Jen you’ve shared advertising budget numbers from the diet and the fitness industry, they spend a large percentage of their marketing budget this time of year. They are pushing, pushing, pushing- Jen: Yeah, the first few months of the year, the 1st quarter. I can’t remember what the numbers are, I’ve shared them on a past podcast but it’s like 65 percent of their marketing budget is spent in the 1st couple months of the year. Because yeah, so it’s everywhere. Annie: So you’re really, really, you’re likely seeing it in magazines and commercials and newspapers, in bookstores and anywhere you’re going, essentially, to buy this product, buy this program, purchase this service, purchase this membership- Jen: Yeah, people have no idea, like, how much thought goes into marketing and so even, you’ll see, I noticed in my local bookstore that throughout the year when you walk in there’s different tables set up featuring, you know, new books or this all these books on this topic. Well, in December or January the diet table comes to the very front of the store so when you walk in it’s right there. Because they know, they know that that’s the time to be selling these books, to put them right in front of you, get you thinking about it, it makes you buy them. We like to think we’re so in control of our choices but we really are not. Annie: I was just going to say that because I know, Annie 10 years ago would have walked into Barnes and Noble or whatever this bookstore, saw the diet book and “it’s like they knew what I wanted,” like, yeah, how did I, like, you know, how did they know but really? Jen: If you don’t even think about the change, it’s like, this must have always been here. Annie: Right, it’s like, like, you know, it’s like, it’s, now we have Amazon ads popping up on our feed, you know, like Lauren, you just talked about how you were, posted about your standing desk. Lauren: Oh my gosh, yes, I got this standing desk which is amazing, I got it from Costco, I don’t know if it’ll still be here when this airs but I got it from Costco and I posted about it on my story and I had never seen an ad for a standing desk before and after I posted it on my story I was started seeing Instagram ads for this other standing desk and it freaked me out. Jen: Oh. There’s so many conspiracy theories around what Facebook and Instagram listen to and of course they deny, deny, deny but that happens to me all the time. Sometimes I feel like I’m talking to a friend about something, like, in person- Lauren: Yes. Jen: Then I’ll start seeing those ads on my feed. Lauren: Yeah. Annie: There’s a meme that it’s like, of course, if I had a dollar for every time I started a sentence with “There’s a meme” on Instagram that says “Oh, oh, that’s weird how this showed up on my feed when I didn’t talk to anyone about it, I didn’t type it, I didn’t search it, like, it’s, like, there in your brains, you know- Jen: You thought it. Annie: Yes, but anyways, it is, you know, it’s kind of like when you go to Target and your kids don’t want goldfish until they see the goldfish and then you know and it’s like “Now I can’t live without the goldfish.” Jen: And you have to and there’s also food, food companies have to pay more to get their products on the shelf at eye level. Lauren: Yes. Jen: Do you know I mean because they know it leads to you choosing it more so they make a deal with, you know, whatever supermarket chain and they pay a fee to have their product at eye level, like, you really, if you know what I mean, like, it’s just there’s so much of this that goes on that consumers aren’t aware of. Annie: Right, which we kind of went off on a tangent there and I think that would make a really great podcast about how the the science and psychology behind marketing and how it works the way it does, especially when it comes to health and wellness but the point here is that you can set these goals any time of year, so even though the bookstores are pushing it or you might feel like you’re seeing these messages to get these really brand new fresh goals around your health and your wellness. It seems like it’s everywhere. Remember that you can set these 6 months from now, 3 months from now, any time a year. You don’t have to feel pressure to do it on New Year’s Day. Jen: Yes and now that we have told everybody about it, you will start noticing it and you can be more critical about it and this is called media literacy and media literacy has been found to be one of the greatest tools in preventing disordered eating and body image issues. So pass it on. Annie: Pass it on. Stay woke, right? Jen: Stay woke. Annie: OK. Number two, remember your why. Ask yourself “Does this really matter to you?” when you’re setting your New Year’s resolutions because along the same lines of getting caught up, this can tend to be following the leader, kind of like Jen said when you’re shopping with your girlfriend and in my experience, what’s personally happened to me before is one girlfriend dinner is like “Oh yeah, I’m going to join this gym, I’m going to start this program, I’m going to start this diet” and the rest of us are like “Oh yeah, like, I guess that sounds good,” like, “That sounds good to me, I’ll do that too” or like “Guess I hadn’t really given it that much thought but she’s done the research. And she seems to think it’s a good idea so I’ll do it too” and if you listen to our Stages of Change podcast with our Balance365 Coach Melissa Parker, you’ll know that skipping stages like contemplation, where you’re thinking about doing a thing and preparation, where you’re making plans to do the thing, are actually really vital to your success and this is one of the reasons people- Jen: Not skipping stages. Annie: Sorry, yes, not skipping stages. It’s really vital to your success and this is one of the reasons that people can fall flat on New Year’s resolution time is because they join the gym, they buy the meal plan, they sign up for the challenge or whatever it is they’re doing without really considering “Does this even matter to me? Is this a good time in my life to do this? Is this reasonable to think that I can do whatever is required to make this goal happen?” Just like Lauren said, like, she just felt this pressure to make a resolution and it’s like “Hey, I just had a baby. Maybe now isn’t the time to be all in on whatever it is I’m wanting to do” and if you give it some reflection and you come up with like “No, this isn’t OK. This isn’t the time, this isn’t the thing I want. That’s OK. It doesn’t mean that you’re stuck wherever, you’re out forever. It just means that maybe you need to re-evaluate and get some clarity on what your goal is and how you’re going to get there. Jen: Yeah, it often is related to, I think, feelings of guilt around holiday eating as well so, I mean, that’s why the advertising is so successful, right, because they know you’re feeling bad about all the eating and sitting around you’re doing over the holidays and that becomes your motivation, right, which is shame-based motivation, which we also know through research that shame-based motivation is not lasting. Lauren: Yeah, and I’ll add too on this that this is why we actually added a section in Balance365 it’s called The Story of You and it helps you to uncover what your values are and what your core values are and so not only does that help you when you are making changes because when you make a change if it connects with one of your core values you’re more likely to stick to it but it also can weed out this extra stuff so you can think back “Well does this really support any of my core values?” and if it doesn’t you can feel a lot better of saying like “Oh, this isn’t for me, like, it’s good for them, it’s not good for me.” Jen: Right. Annie: And circling back to what Jen said about shame-based marketing, you know, I think in the past when I have started a new diet or a new exercise routine on New Year’s Day it has usually been to combat those feelings of shame and guilt about eating too much, missing the gym because I’ve been busier than normal, the weather’s been crummy, not enough daylight, you know, whatever fill in the blank and they know this. Lauren: Yeah, that was always me, like it comes right after the holidays, right, where everyone’s crazy busy, there’s treats everywhere. And it’s just like, it’s kind of like a perfect storm, right, everyone’s doing it, you feel crappy, the advertising is being pushed to you, so it comes together on January 1st. Jen: Yeah and it’s just it’s all part of that roller coaster, though, you could start if you zoom out a bit and start identifying trends so most people wouldn’t binge over Christmas if they weren’t dieting before Christmas. Lauren: Right, yeah. Jen: And most people wouldn’t diet before Christmas if they were bingeing at Thanksgiving. Lauren: And then you wouldn’t feel crappy, right? And wouldn’t be like “I need to do something.” Jen: Right, so the period between Thanksgiving and Christmas is also a very, very popular time to go on a diet so, you know, people go into the holiday, basically, diet to counteract their Thanksgiving bingeing and to prep themselves for Christmas. Someone just said the other day, told me a friend of theirs was working on losing 5 pounds in preparation for the holidays and I’m, you know, it’s funny kind of, but you’re also like, I just cringe and think, “Oh my gosh, like, you’re basically just announcing that you have an eating disorder and that you are starving yourself in preparation for being able to binge.” Lauren: Right and that just feeds right into the cycle. Jen: Yeah and then so you binge over Christmas and then you get back on that diet rollercoaster for January and then, you know, then you restrict, then you binge and then you’re restricting for your bikini season and then it’s just, it’s just wild. Annie: And most people are trying to stop that cycle in the binge, when they’re in the binge they want to pull all the way back to restriction which I totally get, like, that seems to be, like, “Well, duh, like, I, you know, I’m either all in or I’m all out, I’m on the wagon, I’m off the wagon,” like there’s just two extremes and our approach would be to just let that pendulum settle down in the middle like, don’t pull it so far back. Jen: Yeah, so Chastity, she’s in Balance365, she said the other day is that people want to stop bingeing but unfortunately they don’t want to stop restricting. However the solution to stop bingeing is to stop restricting as well. Lauren: Right. Jen: And people just really have a hard time wrapping their heads around that. Annie: Absolutely, I mean, it can be scary because it feels like you’re letting go of some of that control, especially if you’ve been dieting for years and that’s what you know, that a lot of women feel comfortable and in control when they’re dieting, even if they’re miserable, even if they’re white knuckling it. Lauren: I remember someone when we first started doing this had been dieting for years and years and she was terrified when we told her like stop counting your points, stop counting, like, just give yourself permission to eat and she was like “I will literally start eating and never stop.” Jen: I remember that too. Lauren: And like, spoiler, that didn’t happen and now she lives a free life and she doesn’t count and she’s happy with her progress but she was terrified, like there was a real fear for her. Jen: Right. Annie: So once again we went on a little tangent. Jen: As we do. Annie: I’m just looking at our outline, like “Remember your why” and now we’re talking about restriction and it’s all connected though, isn’t it? Jen: So remember your why. So remember that you don’t want to be on the diet roller coaster and that is your why for not jumping on board a new diet in January. Annie: Well and why am I doing this again, if I am being honest and years past it would have been to try to avoid or to remove some of those feelings of guilt and shame, so it’s like “OK, I’m just going to try to regain all of my control by doing all the things and doing them perfectly” and you know, again, it just, what that does is eventually perpetuates the cycle of this diet cycle. Jen: Yeah, an alternative to feeling guilty is to say “Wait a sec, I’m human and just like everybody else at Christmas, I indulge in the holiday foods and move along.” Annie: Yeah. Because the holiday foods are yummy. Jen: They are. Annie: They are yummy. And yeah and just cut yourself some slack, right? Lauren: Yeah. Annie: OK, so we covered the first two. A, you don’t have to make these New Year’s resolutions just this time of year, you can set goals or new intentions or create new habits any time of year, then you evaluate like “Does this really matter to me? Why am I doing this? What’s my purpose? What’s my mission behind this? What am I hoping to get out of this?” and then if you come to the conclusion that “I still want to move forward. I still want to make change” and your resolutions are around things like eating healthier, exercising more, drinking less, quitting smoking then we’re talking about changing habits which, shockingly, is something we’re pretty good at helping people do. Surprise! And Lauren you have some really good information about creating and changing habits, but essentially it boils down to you don’t have to overhaul your entire life overnight because so often people go to bed on New Year’s Eve and they’re like, they set these plans and they’re going to wake up like a person with completely new habits on January 1st, like 12 hours later, new year, new me, right? Lauren: Right. That would be really nice. Annie: It would be great if it were just that simple, if all the change could happen. Jen: If worked, we would encourage it. Lauren: Yeah, right. Annie: Yeah, it’d be a heck of a lot quicker but will you share the statistics about why changing too many things at once isn’t likely to bode well for you? Lauren: Yes, so we share this all the time, actually but I find that it’s so eye-opening for people is that studies show that if you want to change a habit and you change one small thing and only that thing you have about an 80 percent chance of sticking with that change long term, which is actually really good for percentages. If you try and change too things at the same time your success rate of sticking with both of those things drops down to about 30 percent and then 3 or more changes at the same time your success rate drops to almost 0 sticking with all those changes and then the more things you add on, the less and less your success rate will be. Annie: That’s not very promising to change a lot of things at once is it. Lauren: No, so not only do you not have to, you shouldn’t if you care about sticking with it, right? Annie: Yes, so when you think about someone that wakes up New Year’s Day and is like I’m going to change all 3 of my meals, plus my snacks, plus my sleep habits, plus my water and alcohol consumption, now I’m also going to add going into the gym 5-6 times a week, that is so many behaviors that it takes to change, I mean we’re talking about, like, let’s take a look at a meal, like, what does it take to change a meal, like, it could change what you put on your plate, how you prepare your food, what kind of foods you’re buying at the grocery store, it might require, do you even go to the grocery store in the first place versus eating out, I mean, and those are the little steps that take to build a really great solid habit that so many people overlook. They just think “I’m just going to start eating a balanced breakfast, lunch and dinner tomorrow, all the time, forever and ever amen.” Lauren: And our brains just don’t work like that. It’s just the way we’re wired and you know, we, like our brains, like consistency and constants and so it’s not going to bode well for you if you try and change everything all at the same time. Jen: I don’t even like going somewhere new in the grocery store, like a new aisle. Like when I when I’m looking at recipes and there’s just some whacko ingredient, you know, that either you can’t find in a regular supermarket or I’ve just never seen that before I’m like, “Next!” Like, I just really resist. Yeah. Annie: I think, yeah, I mean, obviously when it comes to cooking I’m the same way. I see it is a recipe with more than like four ingredients and I’m like “No, I’m out.” Lauren: Thank you, next. Jen: Yeah, I know as far as our plans on expanding our our recipe collection on our website and just looking at, like, when we had a woman making recipes for us this fall and the first couple she sent me I was like, “Listen, like chickpea flour is just not going to fly.” Lauren: I feel like we should have a test where like if Annie, Lauren and Jen can’t make it it doesn’t get put out there and we would be like, “Pizza. Quesadillas. Chicken.” Jen: Yeah yeah and so it’s like, I remember I would go all in like back in my dieting days on making things like cauliflower pizza crust. Lauren: Yes I would take so long to make meals and they would always taste like crap. Jen: Yeah and so but then it’s like, you know, five years later, we’re just having pizza, like just regular crust and it’s way better. Lauren: Like, it’s fine. Jen: It’s like all those steps, right, like all those steps to make, to just get in the habit of making these healthy pizza crusts and yeah just really makes no difference. Annie: And now, yeah, I feel good just throwing some veggies and some fruit and some extra protein on my Jack’s frozen pizza. Jen: Yeah, like, I’ll just have a side of cauliflower with my regular pizza. Instead of trying to work it into the crust. Annie: I really like how you say cauliflower. Lauren: Cauliflower. Annie: Anyways, yeah, but truly I think people really underestimate how much energy is required to change just one habit and it’s definitely a slower process but what we hear from women in our community that are working through our program is that it feels effortless, they’re not white knuckling through all these changes and just like, “Oh my gosh, I hope I can do this. I just need to do this for a little bit longer before it comes automatic.” They’re like, actually, they’re kind of like looking around like “Is this really all I’m doing? Like, this is all you want me to focus on?” and we’re like “Yeah, actually.” Jen: Just this one thing. Annie: That is. Jen: Yeah. Annie: And if you’re talking about changing existing habits, which that comes up a lot around New Years resolutions too is the best way to change an existing habit is to replace it with a new one and Lauren and I have a pretty good podcast, actually two podcasts on how habits are built, like Habits 101, and then how to change or break bad habits, so if you want more information on the science and the process behind habit building and breaking bad habits, I would highly encourage you to listen to those because, I mean, I think we give some pretty good tidbits. Lauren: It’s pretty good. Annie: I mean, it’s alright. And the other thing I want to add onto that too in terms of habit changing and going a little bit slower is to discuss the difference between outcome-based goals and behavior-based goals because so often, again, resolutions seem to be outcome-based goals. I want to lose 10 pounds. I want to run a 5K. I want to compete in this challenge or whatever and it doesn’t really address the behaviors, like, OK, how are you actually going to do that? What actions are you going to take to lose 10 pounds? Like I’m not poo-pooing weight loss as a resolution goal, your body, your choice. But how are you going to lose that 10 pounds? It might be I’m going to start exercising on Monday, Wednesday, Friday for 30 minutes or I’m going to replace, you know, X, Y, Z with vegetables on my plate or I’m going to increase protein or you know, whatever that looks like, we would encourage you to write your goals based off of your behaviors, not the outcome you want, because so often if you take care of the behaviors, which we have more control over, the outcome will just naturally be a byproduct of it and so often I see women doing all the right things and they don’t get the outcome they want and then they feel like a failure, you know, they’re making all these great changes. Especially when it comes to weight loss. We’ve seen women work their butts off to try to lose weight, you know, they’re maybe exercising more, they are addressing their self talk, they’re getting more sleep, they are cutting back on sugary drinks or alcoholic drinks or whatever that is they’re working on and they step on the scale and they’re down 3 pounds instead of the desired 10 pounds and all of a sudden they feel like they’ve failed. Lauren: Right. Jen: When they’ve actually succeeded in all these areas of life that a lot of people struggle to succeed in and it’s huge, it’s a huge big deal. Lauren: Yeah. Annie: Yeah, when really if you just zoom out and it’s like “Oh my gosh, look at all this great change I’ve made, I’m feeling better I’m taking better care of my body or you know, whatever it is, fill in the blank, that we just tend to lose sight of that when our goals are outcome based. Lauren: Also when they step on the scale and they see that, that they haven’t lost as much as they had hoped, they also a lot of times will be like “Well, what’s the point, right ?” and then they don’t continue doing those behaviors and it’s the continuation and consistency of those behaviors that’s going to lead to possibly them reaching their goal, right? Annie: Yeah, so the easiest way to turn your outcome based goal, if that’s what you were thinking about before listening to podcast, into a behavior based goal is to just ask yourself “How am I going to achieve that? How am I going to run a 5K? How am I going to run a marathon? How am I going to lose 10 pounds? How am I gonna?” Jen: Yeah. Annie: You know, like and then usually that how, that’s the behavior. Jen: Yeah and then realize that that outcome goal you have actually could be made up of a series of behavior changes that need to happen one at a time, therefore it may not happen as quickly as you like, which is OK. Life is long. Annie: Yeah, it’s the tortoise and the hare, right? Jen: It’s a journey. Annie: Yeah, as cheesy as that sounds, people are probably like, “Oh, come on.” Jen: It’s a journey. Lauren: Zen Jen over there. Jen: I know. Annie: Enjoy the process. Jen: Gandhi. Annie: We need one of those successory memes. You know, popular in the nineties. OK, well those are the three main points I wanted to discuss when it comes to New Year’s resolutions. Is there anything you two would like to add? Lauren: I don’t think so. Annie: OK, let’s do a quick review. First of all, before you set your New Year’s resolutions remember that you can set these new goals, create new habits, set new intentions, you can have a clean slate any time of the year. I totally understand that it’s super enticing to have like new year, new me but you can do this on May 1st just as easily as you can January 1st. The second one is to remember your, why does this really matter to you? Are you just doing this because your girlfriends are doing this or because marketing is telling you to do this or is this something that you really desire and then on top of that are you willing to do what it takes to make that happen and sometimes the answer is no, like Lauren said, you know, she really maybe wanted some of the things she wanted after having Elliott but it just wasn’t, the timing wasn’t good and honoring that, and being like, “Hey, I can just put that on the back burner and wait a little bit to start that until I’m ready to make those changes and I’m able to make those changes and stick with them” is absolutely, that’s an OK answer. Jen: I know you always say, Annie, there is more than two options, it’s not always “yes” and “no”, there’s a third option which is “later.” Annie: I would love to take credit for that but that’s actually Lauren. Jen: Oh, I’m sorry, Lauren. Lauren: Yes. Annie: Yes. I was like, as soon as you said that I was like “Oh, I really wanted credit for it because it’s good, it’s good advice, but I’m going to be honest, that’s Lauren’s advice.” Yes, later is always an option which I think is, that’s goes back to your maturity about responding, Jen, versus reacting, you know, so many people can get reactive during New Year’s resolutions like they feel compelled to do something just because everyone else is doing them and it’s like, if you just have pause, like think like “Do I want this? Was I considering this before I heard Susan over here talking about her weight loss? Like. Jen: I always think of my inner BFF like she’s, she just like, she comes to me in that first second I react and then give it 20 seconds and my inner B.F.F. is sitting beside me like “Hey, girlfriend. Calm down.” Annie: That first voice in me though, she can be really kind of grumpy sometimes. Jen: She’s my naughty friend. She’s naughty. Annie: Let’s do it! Yeah! Is this is code for Annie and Lauren? Jen: There’s Annie and then there’s Lauren. Annie: Annie is like shoving you into the mosh pit at a concert, like “You can do it!” and Lauren’s like, “I don’t think that’s a good idea.” Jen: Let’s stay safe back here. Annie: Both are needed sometimes, OK? And the last point we just discussed today was that you don’t have to overhaul your life in one night, that to think that you’re going to go to bed on December 31st and wake up 8 hours later a completely different person doesn’t usually happen for people and that’s not, that’s not because you lack willpower or motivation or determination or discipline, that’s just the way behavior change works and it takes time and slowing down the process to focus one thing until that becomes automatic and then layering on brick by brick is usually the best place to start and we have a saying too that we stole from James Clear that “Rome wasn’t built in a day but they were laying bricks often” Lauren: We changed it to make it our own. What’s our new one? Beyonce wasn’t built in a day. Jen: Beyonce wasn’t built in a day. Annie: Beyonce also wasn’t built in a day. So if you could just lay a brick, you know, if you have these big goals 2019, 2020, 2021, start with a brick, really and lay your strong foundations, good solid habits, one by one and you’ll get there eventually and hopefully you’ll wake up one day and you’ll have this big beautiful Coliseum and you’ll be like “Oh, that was easy.” Jen: Exactly. Exactly. That really is how it happens. Annie: Yeah and I know that’s probably sounds a little bit ridiculous or a little bit too good to be true but you need to be able to play the long game for behavior change, you have to have big picture and patience which, I’m saying that to myself right now. I’m talking in a mirror. And yeah, hopefully this helps people build some better resolutions. I would love to hear what people are working on. So if you are working on something for the new year and you want to talk about it, please join our Facebook group, it’s, we’re Healthy Habits Happy Moms on Facebook. We have 40,000 women in our private Facebook group and if you need a place for safe support, reasonable advice and moderation, this is your place to go. Jen: I got a huge compliment yesterday. I was at a cookie exchange with 10 women and not many people know about my our company locally where I live and actually a couple women from my community just joined and the one woman said to me yesterday “Your group is the first place I’ve ever found that actually promotes you giving yourself grace.” Lauren: Aww. Annie: Can we like get a testimonial from her? Jen: I’ll ask her. She’s in Balance365 now. Annie: Oh that’s wonderful. Jen: She would be happy to. Anne: Yeah, I think it’s a pretty sweet place. We have amazing women, it’s really, it’s not it’s not us, it’s our community that’s made it such an amazing place to be, they provide support, applause and encouragement and tough love sometimes when it’s needed. It’s a great place to be, so find us on Facebook at Healthy Habits Happy moms You can also tag us on social media on Instagram and show us what you’re working on, show us your more reasonable New Year’s resolutions. Jen: Yes. Lauren: Yeah, I like that. Annie: Yeah, me too. OK, anything to add? Jen: No. Lauren: No. Annie: We’re good to go? Alright, well, we’ll talk soon, OK? Lauren: Bye. Jen: Bye. The post Episode 46: 3 Ways To Improve Your New Year’s Resolutions appeared first on Balance365 .…
The holiday season can be tough, with so many opportunities for unwelcome commentary on our bodies, diets and exercise routines from well-meaning relatives. What’s worse, our kids are exposed to it too. Jen, Annie and Lauren get together and discuss how to set boundaries this holiday season so you can enjoy your family time together, free from the discomfort of unwanted opinions and negativity. Learn how to be the change you want to see in the world and find peace among the chaos of diet culture. What you’ll hear in this episode: The damage of body shaming discussion on children The normalization of negative weight related discussions and body judgments in popular culture Reasons to set boundaries around negative body talk around your kids A comparison of the diet industry and tobacco industry’s tactics to normalize something that is damaging Statistics around the prevalence of disordered eating What is your grocery checkout stocked with? Preparing your kids for the road How to set boundaries in a clear, kind-hearted, non-confrontational way How negative body talk is like second hand smoke The role of media literacy in filtering negative messaging Prevalence of weight loss advertising and negative media messages What to do when you don’t feel comfortable setting a boundary Getting curious about where people are coming from with body commentary The discomfort of change Talking to our kids about the diet industry, body image and media messages Raising critical thinkers Free To Be Talks Workshops Effecting change at the individual and community level Resources: The Habit That’s as Toxic to Children as Smoking Five Stages of Behavior Change Episode 13: How Your Body Image Impacts Your Children with Hillary McBride Free To Be Talks Learn more about Balance365 Life here Subscribe on Apple Podcasts , Spotify , Google Play , or Android so you never miss a new episode! Visit us on Facebook | Follow us on Instagram | Check us out on Pinterest Join our free Facebook group with over 40k women just like you! Did you enjoy the podcast? Leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or Google Play ! It helps us get in front of new listeners so we can keep making great content. Transcript Annie: Thanks for joining us here on Balance365 Life Radio, I am really excited about this episode and we actually jumped this topic to the head of the line because we felt it was just that important, especially this time of year. Today Lauren, Jen and I discuss the importance of setting boundaries with your friends and your family as it pertains to discussions about bodies and behaviors. Women’s appearance, exercise routines and eating habits seem to be free game and constantly open for discussion and debate. Conversations about who’s gained weight, who’s lost weight, how Aunt Jan has given up carbs or the latest supermodel that got her body back so quickly after baby number 3 can unfortunately be heard across the globe. After working with thousands of women, we know that with the holiday season many of us might find ourselves on the receiving end or at the very least, within earshot of comments of this nature. This unwelcome commentary can be shocking, infuriating but most importantly, it can be really harmful, especially to the little eyes and ears that are watching and listening. On this episode, we dive into the importance of women and mothers setting boundaries around diet talk and body shaming, share ideas on how to respond and address these comments if and when they happen and finally, how to help you and your children process those same situations. As always our free private Facebook group can be a great space to continue the discussion if you so wish, you can find us on Facebook at Healthy Habits Happy moms. We’ll see you on the inside. Lauren and Jen, we are all three together, it’s been a while. Lauren: Hi! Annie: You’re just here for the party, we know, Lauren and Jen, how are you? Jen: Good, I really missed recording with you guys. I was away and you did like 3 episodes without me. Annie: I know, you you were on a little family vacation. Jen: Yeah. Annie: Looked fun, we missed you though. Jen: Yeah, I missed you guys too but it was like my first holiday in, with my kids, in years so it was a lot of fun and I have to say, for the parents listening that it is a whole different world to go on holidays with children who are 5-6 and 9 than babies and toddlers. Lauren: That’s really good to hear. Annie: So there’s hope. Jen: Oh yeah, well it just got, for us, it got to a point where I was like “We aren’t traveling anymore. I can’t do this. I can’t take 3 car seats and a double stroller and a diaper bag on every holiday. It’s too… I might as well just stay home because it’s more stressful on holiday.” So now it was just surreal to just be sitting back and watching my kids handle themselves, like carry backpacks and yeah and just like not have myself loaded down, you know, like, I just had a backpack too. It was amazing. Annie: I heard a comparison made that there’s a difference between vacation and trips and you take a trip with your family. It’s not, it doesn’t always feel like a vacation, it’s sometimes a lot of work. Jen: The other thing when you have little babies and toddlers is we would always do like AirBNB apartments because we just felt like we needed the space and with kids getting up in the night we, you know, we just needed like different rooms etc and but that meant that we were also cooking and cleaning up after ourselves on “holidays” too and I would sometimes be like “Why did we leave home? Like, I just feel like I’m in the kitchen all the time.” So on this trip we only stayed in hotels and we ate out for every meal and I can’t even tell you how great that was too to not cook for 10 days. It was amazing. Annie: Yeah that sounds really nice and the weather looked so nice. Jen: Yeah, it was beautiful. Annie: Yeah, but we’re happy to have you back- Jen: Thank you. Annie: Because we have a really good topic and I think it’s going to be best addressed and best covered with all three of us on board and this is actually kind of a combination of two topics that we’ve discussed either in a podcast or a blog post that we kind of married together and we actually are doing kind of a last-minute recording because we wanted to squeeze this topic in before the holidays because what comes up so frequently in our community, which if you’re not a part of it,it’s Healthy Habits Happy Moms on Facebook, over 40,000 women, it’s a great place to continue the discussion, ask questions get support if you need it but something that comes up in our community often is how to respond to comments about your body or behaviors and how then to set boundaries with family members and with it being the holiday season, it seems like we’re exposed to so many more opportunities to have those comments thrown at us, right? And it’s a really common experience with women in our communities that are our bodies and our behaviors, what’s on our plate, how we are exercising, how we’re talking, how we look, always seem to be free game for discussion and debate and it’s really regardless of your body shape and size because prior to this, when we covered it in a podcast the first time, I did a poll in our community and women of all shapes and sizes has experienced comments and remarks like this and it can not only be shocking but infuriating and they can also be harmful to everyone within earshot, right? Jen: Right. Annie: and Jen, you made, it was, we’re approaching the two year anniversary of the blog post that you wrote that was amazing and it’s still on our blog today, but you made an amazing analogy of the harmful effects of body shaming, disordered eating behaviors, negative body talk as it relates to smoking, can you share a little bit about that? Jen: Yeah, first of all, it’s wild, two years ago. Annie: I know. Jen: And so we are talking about the same things, which is great, we hope it’s sinking in, two years later, so I am the analogy queen in our community and I find that sometimes drawing parallels in other areas of life is what really gets the stuff to stick with women and the other thing, when we talk about disordered eating, I just want everybody to know that in, like, eating disorder, I guess, literature and circles, dieting is considered under the realm of disordered eating, so dieting is disordered eating, so when you are talking about dieting around the Christmas dinner table or Thanksgiving dinner table, you’re actually talking about disordered eating, your disordered eating behaviors and 100 years ago it might have been shocking that somebody would would speak up at dinner to say that they’re purposely starving themselves or cutting out carbs but over the years, it’s become normalized, so it’s part of our normal conversation to discuss these things. So what I compared it to in this blog post was that at one point, smoking indoors used to be completely normal. My step mom talks about how she had my older sister in hospital and they whisked the baby away after and the first thing she did was light up a cigarette in the hospital. And everybody had an ashtray right beside their hospital bed and so this was about 40 years ago. Today, that would never fly. So the damaging health effects of smoking and secondhand smoking is well researched, we know the effects, smoking is banned in public spaces, we keep it away from children. I don’t know what the rules are down there but in Canada, it’s illegal to smoke cigarettes inside of a vehicle if you have anyone in the car that’s under 16. And we have family members who smoke and I don’t think they would dream of smoking inside my house, however if they came over and tried, I would immediately, I would have, you know, no issue with saying “Oh, can you please take that outside, this is a smoke free home.” So the parallel I drew is that we also know the effects of discussing bodies and disordered eating. We know that they have serious long term effects to your own personal health but also to the little ears or the children in the room listening to all of this and setting a boundary with friends and family around smoking is probably not a problem for anyone listening, however it still feels extremely uncomfortable to set this boundary around talking about weight, bodies, disordered eating, dieting but if you really put that into context, “Hey, we know this is extremely harmful.” And if you’re having trouble setting the boundary for yourself, just really think, like, now is the time that you need to step up for your kids and say “Hey, no this is not OK to discuss around our kids. If you want to talk to me about this later, that’s fine but you know, there’s little ears in the room.” Annie: And oftentimes, you know, the difference here is that unlike smoking, many people aren’t aware just yet of the harmful consequences of this type of talk and how contagious it is and how detrimental it can be to the eyes and ears that are watching and listening and I think if people knew, which is part of our mission, right, to draw attention to the negative consequences of dieting and body shaming and weight talk, if people knew like they know the harmful effects of smoking, you know, maybe they would be changing the conversation. Lauren: Yeah. Jen: Absolutely, so it’s sort of like, in the “olden days” they talk about how the big tobacco companies went to great lengths to hide the negative, they knew what the negative effects of smoking were and they went to great lengths to try and sort of cover that up and they were lobbying government et cetera, et cetera, they would have doctors as their spokespeople saying smoking was safe and that, basically, is happening today with diet companies. You have, you know, huge diet companies, they have crazy popular spokeswomen or spokespeople, I should say, fronting their brand but the research hasn’t caught up with the public yet. It’s not common knowledge yet so, but we know, it is well researched, we have decades and decades of research about how harmful dieting is, how harmful body shaming is especially for children. Like, body based teasing is one of the biggest contributors to future disordered eating/eating disorders. So the other thing is that I think I feel like awareness around mental health is just coming to the forefront, I guess, where in years gone past we haven’t talked about mental health as much. The focus really has been on physical health. And now we’re starting to see more talk of mental health and taking care of our mental health and what that means for people but I don’t think talking about mental health is as widely accepted yet either, so it’s quite a big conversation. This podcast, what we wanted to cover and talk about in just sort of bring to people’s consciousness is it’s OK to set boundaries in your home around what you expose your children to. Annie: Right, because it’s, you know, essentially in that blog post, which we can link in the show notes, along with all the research or just a handful of the research that we’ve looked at and essentially, you know, kind of compares it to being trapped in a smoky room, you know. Jen: Right. Annie: When, you know, when you are filling your home over the holidays or your environment with that sort of talk, I mean, it’s, the parallel is there, right? And it’s not it’s not one time that’s going to make or break but it’s that constant exposure, the fact that they don’t have a place to process this, that they can’t escape, that they don’t have an alternative, that there’s no discussion about, you know, the consequences and why you would do this or that, like that’s really what we want to begin to bring to light, right? Jen: Yeah and children are listening, like they want to listen, right? I catch my oldest son, he’s 9, I see him all the time, I can just see him, he’s paying attention to what the adults are talking about, he wants to know, he’s interested, he’s learning how to be an adult, right? And so this is something that we pretty much hand down to our children as acceptable and OK. So what we see today and we see this a lot in our Facebook group and just on social media in general, you hear a lot of women talking about, or sharing stories of somebody commenting about their body and how offended they are, whether somebody asks them if they’re expecting or if they’ve lost weight or what diet they’re on and women are saying, “Hey!” You know, they’re starting to notice, people comment on our bodies all the time but this is learned behavior, right, this isn’t some evil person, you know, or mean-spirited person popping out and just body shaming. It’s learned behavior. We make it acceptable at an early age so anybody who’s making those comments today probably grew up in an environment where it was absolutely OK and I think we’re still in that environment. If you are checking out at the grocery store and it’s full of trashy magazines around you, you’ll see that, we have, it’s open season on women’s bodies and men’s to a degree. You might have a National Enquirer there talking about whose, which celebrities have “let themselves go”, what weight this celebrity is, what weight that celebrity is, who has “gotten their body back after baby”, you know, the quickest. It is open season and that’s the kind of stuff that goes on around us that might not even be, you know, in our consciousness, right, so if you start paying attention, you’ll see it’s not just happening around the dinner table at Christmas, it’s happening everywhere and at some point you need to step up and say “Hey this is not OK” and you need to go to your children and say “This is not OK. This is not what our family values and just because, you know, Uncle Ted, you know, talks about women’s bodies that way, it is absolutely not OK” and you need to set that boundary with Uncle Ted or whoever your uncle is or Aunt, and let them know that’s not OK and if that has to happen in front of your kids, all the better. Annie: I just want to circle back, just in case people aren’t familiar with some of the statistics out there that I feel like we share frequently but you can never hear these enough, in my opinion but I think as you said the research is out there, it’s our kids are listening and some of the statistics about it are just shocking, I mean as it pertains to adult women, approximately half of women engage in disordered eating and risky dieting practices, including one 3rd of women report purging. Jen: Right. Annie: 75 percent of women report that their weight interferes with their happiness, which, I’ve been there, that’s been me at various points in my life. A study of 5 year old girls, a significant proportion of girls associate diet with food restriction and weight loss and thinness, like, how do they know this? Where are they learning this? Jen: Right. Absolutely. Annie: 37 percent of girls in grade 9 and 40 percent in grade 10 perceive themselves as too fat, again, where are they learning this? Why do they think that? More than half of the girls and a third of the boys engage in unhealthy weight control behaviors, for example, fasting, vomiting, laxatives skipping meals or smoking to control their appetite. Again, like, they’re listening, they’re watching, they’re observing. Jen: Absolutely. Lauren: Mhmm. Jen: And by the time a girl is 17 to 18 years old, that stat is up to 80 percent, so 80 percent of 17 and 18 year old girls believe they need to lose weight, like these aren’t like, you know, these aren’t like, outliers. This is the majority of our population and again, this is all learned behavior. Annie: Righ. And it’s, you know, we have a little bit of control over here and that’s why we’re in the business that we’re in because it’s not just enough for the three of us to parent our kids, like we need everyone on board to really make a really big impact. Jen: Absolutely. Annie: So that’s the part of our mission, to like, create this big wave, this ripple effect, like everyone’s on board and everyone’s promoting healthy balance lifestyles without all this other unnecessary, unhealthy behavior. Jen: Totally, I look at my local supermarket and the changes that they’ve made to have a healthier physical environment for my children so when I take them shopping there are, they’re called, like “junk food free aisles” so that you don’t have to deal with, like, your kid seeing the treats and wanting, you know, asking for treats so you can choose to go down those check outs instead of the ones that are lined with candy and also, in my local supermarket, they have a basket of fruits and vegetables for kids to just take for free to eat while you’re shopping and so I think “Wow, look at these changes they’ve made for our children’s physical health, right, taking away the less nutritious food and offering more nutritious food. So now let’s take it a step further and how can they support my child’s mental health?” So it’s one thing to have an aisle that’s free of junk food, but now I have to take my kids down this aisle that is instead stocked with magazines full of body shaming and my kids can read now and so I’m going, which is worse? You’ve taken away the junk food, you’ve replaced it with this basically, junk for your brain. Annie: Right. Jen: Essentially, yes. Annie: But, you know, as we said, I remember when you wrote this blog post and you and I had this conversation and I think we came across the saying “Prepare your kids for the road, not the road for your kids” because this is unfortunately part of our culture, you’re going to be outside of your bubble, especially in the holiday season or you know, even as summer approaches, you know and more skin is shown and you’re at barbecues or you know, year round, it happens, you’re going to be outside of your little bubble, inside of our community it’s like, this stuff doesn’t happen, right? Lauren: Right. Jen: Right. Annie: But when we leave our homes it’s like, or we go to the grocery store, it’s like “Oh my gosh, it really is everywhere.” It’s going to happen. So what do you do when it happens? You set a boundary. You can set a boundary and as you said, it can be so uncomfortable to think about setting a boundary for yourself and speaking up for yourself, but if you put it in terms of like, “I’m standing up for my kid” then it’s like- Jen: Totally. Annie: As a mother it’s like, “Oh”, it becomes so much easier, right? Jen: Yes, then it’s like “Roar!” Annie: Mama Bear, right? Mama lion. Jen: Exactly. Annie: Yeah, so, you know, setting boundaries, let’s talk about how to do that because it can be uncomfortable. It can be scary but I think you, in that blog post again, you gave a couple very concise, clear, non-confrontive, kind-hearted responses and I think you could just put these in your back pocket, you can put your own twist on them. The first one is “Hey, I understand that you’re struggling with your eating behaviors right now, can we save this conversation for when little ears aren’t around?” and I think that’s perfect, you know, so I picture myself at the buffet table, you know, and my Aunt Jan’s putting stuff on her plate saying “I shouldn’t have this many carbs and I’m just so excited to eat this and I’ll just have to work it off afterwards and it’s going to go straight to my butt” and you know, like that sort of talk. Jen: Yeah, total disordered talk. Annie: Right. Jen: Totally normalized in our culture. Annie: Oh yeah, like, I mean, 4 years ago I probably would have been like “Ahahaha!” Jen: Right. Annie: Now I’m like “Oh no, no, no, no, no, no!” Jen: Yes. Annie: “Could we save that conversation for when little ears aren’t around” and it’s, the three of us have had this conversation so many times, we feel very comfortable being like “Yeah, I’d be happy to talk with you about how to balance your meals, more sustainable practices for your health and wellness and how that talk isn’t really serving you, like we could talk that all day.” Some of our listeners might not be willing or interested in having that conversation, that’s totally cool too, but I think that just acknowledging little ears are listening and we’re just going to zip it, right now, right? Jen: Yeah, like if somebody, I mean, I know we all probably swear a little bit but if somebody like came roaring into the kitchen and was just like dropping F bombs every second word and your kids are sitting there you might be like, ” Hey, there’s little ears here, maybe we could cut that back” Except Annie’s giggling, because she’s like, “No.” Annie: Yeah, yeah. Jen: Don’t tell me how to talk. Lauren: Well, Jen, I think the second hand smoke analogy was so, so good because I’d like to coin the term now “secondhand dieting” because like, that’s basically what it is and if you’ve listened to the podcast you’ll know I started dieting when I was 12. Jen: Right. Lauren: And it’s because secondhand dieting was constant. It was a constant topic of conversation in my family, especially on one side compared to the other, but it was it was constant and I would never, you know, blame my family for any of that, everyone’s, as we know, we’re doing our best, no one’s doing it on purpose, but it’s how, it’s how, like, my grandma’s generation and my mom’s generation was raised. Jen: Absolutely. Lauren: And they didn’t know any better, just like before we don’t know any better about smoking. Jen: Right. Lauren: And so when I think back to that, like, I would sing the Jenny Craig song like- Jen: Oh my goodness. Lauren: Like I knew the Jenny Craig song, right? Jen: Let’s hear it, Lauren. Lauren: 1-800-Jenny-20. That’s all I remember but like I would sing it and I just cringe now thinking about all the stuff I listened to and that’s kind of what I draw from, if I ever have to set that boundary for my kids, like my daughter just turned 5 so I’m at the point now where it’s going to, I’m going to have to be more intentional and more careful about it moving forward and if you’ve listened to the podcast you’ll know last year we already had like our 1st incident with that at preschool, talking about, you know, good food versus bad food and I had to start that there earlier than I even thought I would, but at this point going forward, it just gets, you have to be more and more intentional about it. Jen: And it’s everywhere so as Annie had mentioned before, like you can’t, you can, media literacy is one of the most powerful tools in this sort of disordered eating/negative body image crisis we are in with our children and I can’t always be there to filter for my kids but I can teach them how to filter, right? Lauren: Right. Jen: And so one thing I noticed, we haven’t had cable for years and last Christmas we were up at the ski hill here where we live and we were staying there over the Christmas period, staying at a hotel and we would watch T.V. in the evenings and I was shocked at how many diet commercials came on what we’re watching T.V. and I probably wouldn’t even have noticed this 5 years ago because it was just part of my life, it’s part of everybody’s lives, where now I’m so conscious of it and suddenly I’m going like “We are muting the T.V. during commercials because this is ridiculous.” Every single commercial break there was a Weight Watchers ad and just horrible toxic messaging. I remember just. in particular. one woman saying “I can eat whatever I want and still lose weight” and I was like, “Oh! My kids are taking this BS in.” Like, so then we started muting it during commercials because I just, I just do not, and I’m like, you know how kids are, they just, like, stare at a T.V. and they’re just zoned out, whether it’s the TV show or the commercial and I was just like, this is not something I want them hearing over and over and over every commercial break, it’s like, they’re like hypnotized by it, being brainwashed. Annie: And I think that goes back to, you know, just that awareness that you said before, Jen. Sometimes you don’t know how well prevalent it is until you start listening and you just, like that might just be your first step, you don’t have to take any action, maybe you don’t set a boundary this holiday season, maybe- Jen: Right. Annie: where you’re at is you’re just starting to pay attention and you create awareness and you know, you know how, like, when you’re pregnant or maybe you’re trying to get pregnant and all you see is pregnant women? Jen: Right. Lauren: Yeah. Annie: Like, that’s what this is. Jen: Yeah it is. Annie: The power of suggestion. Once you see it, it’s everywhere. I mean, I swear, I tell people, like, “What do you do for a living?” “Oh, I’m a personal trainer” and it’s like, all of a sudden they go to confession. Jen: Right. Annie: It’s like, “Oh my gosh, I haven’t been to a gym in years, and I ate, oh my gosh, I need to get back and I need to do” and I’m like “It’s OK, I’m not, like, you don’t have to repent your sins to me.” Jen: Right, right. Annie: And it’s just, yeah, like it’s the magazine titles, it’s the conversations with your hairdresser when you’re getting your haircut, you know, the woman that’s evaluating your food at the grocery checkout line, like “Oh is this a good food? I heard this was healthy for you.” You know, it’s like, it’s just everywhere. Jen: You can’t, you have to be really, you have to be, and that’s why it’s so important to hand those tools off to your kids to be critical thinkers about it, right, so my son when we were on this holiday, we’re talking about at the start of the show, we were watching, again T.V. in the hotel room and this, we’re in San Diego, California and one thing I’ve noticed from previous trips to California is weight loss advertising is cranked up there compared to where I live in Canada, which might just be the culture of California, so it’s like, it’s on the radio, everywhere and I just found it, like, “Whoa! it’s definitely not as prevalent where I live” so the commercial that came on was like a freeze the fat thing, like, it’s like a, I don’t know if it’s like a liposuction procedure or whatever, it’s just a commercial and it came on and I was like “Here we go!” and my son was like, “This is ridiculous. It doesn’t even work.” I was like- Annie: Nice. Jen: Yeah! So you can, right, you can teach them and I try and just say to my kids like, you know, we obviously don’t shame people who are dieting or whatever, you have to be careful of that too, as well, but I just say, like, “You know that stuff doesn’t work and there’s a lot of companies out there who will take advantage of people who are struggling and with how they feel about themselves but you know this stuff does not work and there’s a lot of fake things that go on behind the scenes that trick you into believing it works but it doesn’t.” So, yeah. Annie: Well and to add to that, just as there are people in my life that I love dearly and I look up to in many ways, they also smoke. Jen: Right, absolutely. Annie: There’s a lot of great people that are also stuck in diet culture and body shame and weight talk and that doesn’t mean that they’re bad humans or they are terrible, you know, like I love them just as much and they don’t need shaming. Jen: No. Annie: You know, my mom smoked for years and I hated that element of her but I loved her, I hated that behavior, I should say, but I love her dearly. Jen: Well, you know, if you go back to our stages of change podcast where people are with smoking is OK, the awareness is there, it’s not good for you, the tough part with smoking is that it’s an addiction, right, so they are constantly and I mean, I think pretty much all smokers are in the cycle of change, most smokers are probably thinking of quitting all the freaking time, it’s just so difficult. Where, when it comes to dieting and disordered eating, there’s not an addiction there but if you’ve listened to previous podcasts about the diet cycle, it almost mimics one where you just can’t stop trying to diet, like, you just keep going back to it, you get stuck in that cycle but most dieters are not even, the awareness isn’t even there that this is something that is unhealthy for them and that they could even stop doing it. It’s just part of their everyday life, like, that’s what we do, we diet or we don’t diet, we’re on the wagon or we’re off the wagon and that’s what their whole life is, right? So when you are setting this boundary with people, just keep that in mind, like, this could be brand new information to them, it likely is, that this is, that your family doesn’t diet, your family doesn’t body shame, your family doesn’t sit around talking about your own weight or other people’s weight and it’s harmful. It’s harmful to you and it’s harmful to children to hear ,that will be brand new information. So if you decide to set that boundary, go gentle, as Annie said, you don’t have to set that boundary, that is an option, I would personally talk, if I was in a situation where I felt very uncomfortable setting that boundary, I would make sure to speak about, I would speak to my children about it later “Hey, you know, when Grandpa was saying this or that, like, just so you know ,that’s not what we believe in, that wasn’t accurate.” Annie: You’re jumping ahead a bit. Jen: Oh, I’m sorry. Annie: You just got so excited. No, I think that’s a great segue, just to circle back to setting boundaries, you know, like comments, if you need some actual statements, I always have a hard time putting words on my emotions and my feelings, so I like to have these one liners to put my back pocket that I can practice saying and it can be, you know, like I said before, “Can we save this conversation for when the kids aren’t around? My child can eat what he or she wants, eyes on your own plate, please. Can we change the subject? Simple as that and then as far as comments made to you about your own body or about someone else, whether they’re in the room or not, I mean, one of my personal training clients talks about how her father always comments about women in the media and their bodies. Jen: Right. Annie: Like it doesn’t matter because somehow they are immune because they can’t hear us and they’re celebrities and like they don’t count. Jen: Right. Annie: But it’s still worth addressing in my opinion but the first step is decide if you want to have that conversation or not. And sometimes you may not want to, it might be the wrong time, the wrong person, you don’t have the energy and in fact, Lauren and I remember you talking about a family member that you were just like, “This just isn’t a conversation I’m willing to have with her at this point in my life, in her life,” do you remember that? Lauren: Yeah, there’s a lot of my family members actually that I do not really speak about nutrition or whatever unless I’m asked and so as far as I go, it’s like a boundary unless I’m asked about it. Annie: Right. You know, and then the second option, I think, too is, if someone makes a comment to you, I think Jen, you gave this suggestion a couple times to be curious and just simply say, “Why do you ask that? Why do you say that? Can you tell me more? That’s interesting” and just see where they’re coming from and see where that goes because so often, you know, someone makes a comment to me and again, years ago, you know, 4 years ago Annie would have been like “Ugh!” and I would have been offended and embarrassed and ashamed and angry and infuriated but so often, like, that’s not usually how conversations, like, end well. Jen: Yeah, or “Why does, you know, why does that matter to you? Why is this relevant? How does that affect your life?” Annie: Yes, am I reacting this strongly because I’m worried that there’s some truth in what they’re saying, is this about my own body shame and my own negative weight talk and all that, you know, is this the baggage I’m carrying or is this theirs? And now I’m clearly, like, they make a comment about a body or my body and it’s like “What Susie says about Sally says more about Sally than Susie”, like they’re separate, like that’s on them and yeah, that has nothing to do with me. But decide if you want to have the conversation, then be curious, you know, I think that’s a great way to, if you’re not super confrontational, if you don’t want to be confrontational, like, “Why do you say that? Like, that’s interesting, why do you ask that?” and then find your voice. You know, Jen, I think we’ve talked about, like, you tend to be a little bit more like, “No, I don’t want to do that, like, we’re not going to talk about that, let’s change the subject” where I would be like, “Hey, look, squirrel! How about the Cubs?” like, you know, like something like just totally redirect or you could be super sincere and honest and say “I’m sure you’re coming from a place of love and you care but your comments are hurtful, your comments are alarming, they’re concerned, fill in the blank.” Jen: Or “I’m really uncomfortable discussing my body or other women’s bodies in a setting like this or period.” Annie: And you know what? It might get awkward. Jen: Yeah that’s the the thing but- Annie: It might get a little like- Jen: But change is uncomfortable, right? So, you know, we talk all the time on this podcast about needing a cultural shift or we hear it all the time on social media, society needs to change. Well, guess what? We are society and change is uncomfortable so this is going to be uncomfortable but it doesn’t have, discomfort doesn’t mean mean-spirited, discomfort doesn’t even necessarily mean confrontational, it just means uncomfortable and I think if women paid attention, they would actually see that there are many areas of our lives where women take on discomfort in order to not make the people around us uncomfortable and I’m at the point where I’m like, “Why? Why do I have to take on that discomfort all the time?” Annie: Yeah. And as we’ve said numerous times already on this episode, if you can’t find the courage to do that for yourself, maybe you can find the courage to do it for your kids. Jen: Absolutely. Lauren: Yeah. Annie: And if you’re not there yet, if you’re just like creating awareness and like, kind of getting your feet under you and kind of deciding what, like, where, how you feel about your body, where you stand, like, that’s really cool too, like this wasn’t an overnight process for the three of us. It’s not like we just jumped from 0 to 100 and now we’re, like, “Chop chop! Like, no, we’re not going to do that!” Like, this was like a, this is a process- Lauren: Definitely. Annie: Where we grew in our comfort to have these conversations. Jen: Is there time for me to share a quick personal story about just this as a reality? Annie: Yes. Jen: So this is based on my own history of very disordered eating and lots of weight talk with my sisters and the effects of that. So my kids are a bit younger and I’ve been able to be on the ball with them from a younger age which has been great. My sister’s children are older, my younger sister, my older sister’s children has children as well, but I’m speaking about my younger sister’s children and so her daughter at 9 years old, she came to me once I got to the house, she came to me and she had just sprouted up. And you know, different kids have different growth patterns but what with my nieces she kind of plumped out first and then she shot up. So what happened when she shot up is that her jean shorts became too big on her around the waist and it happened in just a matter of a couple of months so I get there one day and she comes up to me and she’s like “Auntie, look, Auntie, look!” and she was trying to show me the gap between her denim and her waist and I realized she’s trying to show me and basically bragging at validation and connect with me that she has lost weight and she’s 9 years old but I also was hit with this just feeling like I wanted to throw up, thinking of all the times I had shown up at their door to talk to my sister and the first thing out of my mouth was “I lost 5 pounds last week” or “I put on 5 pounds” or, and my sister’s oldest daughter had just grown up with her aunt, who she loves and admirers and looks up to so much, I’m pumping my own tires here but I’m pretty sure that’s how she feels about me. Annie: Naturally. Jen: She has grown up with that “cool auntie” speaking like that around her so of course she’s now coming to me at 9 years old and trying to connect with me over it the same way she sees her mother and me connecting and she’s just trying to be part of our crew and I was devastated and so not OK with it and so had to take a hard look at myself and go, “This is not OK .This is not OK that our family talks like this and I have been a big contributor to it and I will not do this anymore.” So that was about 5 years ago now, so very happy to see it going in the other direction and what my sister says now, because now we’re these empowered women fighting diet culture, she can’t believe that her daughters have gotten to the age they have and not talked about dieting with her yet, where my sister remembers dieting at a way younger age than even her girls have, so there’s hope, there’s hope here, right, we can make a huge impact. Annie: Absolutely and you know, I just had a little lunch talk a couple weeks ago and it was with a group of about 10 or 12 women, mostly moms and they cannot, they kept expressing concern about how to say the right thing, like, they’re so worried about saying the right thing when it comes to body talk and how we talk about how to take care of our bodies and how to respond when they’re talking about weight loss or how their body looks or they want to wear makeup or they want to wear certain types of clothes. They’re just so worried about saying the right thing that they sometimes don’t say anything at all. And I think, you know, when they were asking about what to do and how to approach this, the first thing that came to mind was what Hillary McBride and her Mothers Daughters and Body Image podcast which, if you haven’t, if this is a topic that concerns you, if you haven’t listened to that, please listen to that, but she pretty much hammers home that perfection, in this situation isn’t required, it’s intention and consistency that make the most difference and so you don’t have to say the right thing all the time. It’s really your intent to have the conversation behind it and just as I said, you can just be curious about when people make comments about your body you can just be curious about what your kids are saying, like, how does that feel when this happens? How do you feel about that? Did you enjoy that food? How’s your body feeling? How did you feel when Aunt Jan or Uncle Ted made that comment about me or about your body or when Gramma said that about your plate? Did you think about that at all? Like, it can just be as simple as that. Jen: The thing is if we talk about diet culture brainwashing children and us, we don’t want to be on the other end, brainwashing our kids, right? Like I want to raise critical thinkers and the way to do that, I think, is to ask them these questions and ask myself these questions and maybe and you can even process it together, right? Like that is totally OK. Annie: Yeah, but I think the key is, you know, is setting the boundaries when you’re ready and when you’re comfortable and then to keep having these conversations with your family members, with your community, with your kids, like, they’re hard conversations, they can be uncomfortable, it can be a lot of emotional ties and baggage that come along with some of these conversations but it’s worth it. It’s totally worth it and I just want to kind of wrap up by just acknowledging, again, that we’ve kind of touched on this but there’s work to be done kind of on sort of 2 levels here: at the individual level, you know, like our own selves deciding what our own biases, acknowledging those, creating awareness about our own behaviors, our own talk, you know, like, how many days, how many times a day do you talk about someone else’s body or are you reading about someone else’s body or are you listening to comments about someone else’s body? At one point in my life that consumed me. I talked about other people’s body all the time. Jen: Right or what articles are you clicking on where, you know, there’s those little like click baity ads at the bottom, “How this mom got her body back in 3 weeks” or “What this mom’s abs looked like at 4 weeks postpartum” and then the picture just like cleverly hides and you’re like, “I gotta click on this.” Lauren: That was me constantly reading about every single diet. Jen: Yeah, right, where now I just, you know, I know it’s all B.S. and I know the more we click on it, the more we are telling these marketers that we want to see more of it, right and they’ll just keep showing us more, so I’m like “Nope” and on Facebook when I see stuff like that I report it as inappropriate. Annie: So yeah, there’s definitely work to be done on an individual level, you know, our own behaviors, our shame, our conversations that we’re having and then at a community level, you know, and community can mean just in your own home, you know. That’s- Jen: Yeah, so speaking of that, I’ll just share what I’ve been up to since my holiday is that I just completed my Free To Be Talks facilitator training and I’m going to be teaching body image workshops in my children’s school and I am trained to be able to talk about this to kid boys and girls in grade 6, 7 and 8 and so that was me, that was on my vision board last year where, you know, we were doing all this work through Balance365 and I was like, “You know what? I really want to be out there in my community and I would love to start talking to children about this when they’re younger.” So I just did that training and that’s my way of contributing and being part of the conversation in my community and I would encourage anybody who is interested in that to to check out Free To Be Talks. It’s a nonprofit organization out of Vancouver, Canada but when I was on the training there was lots of women from the States on the training as well who will be doing this in their schools but you can and that’s a thing, like don’t, do not, you know, we read these stats to you guys and it’s shocking and you can sometimes feel powerless, like how can I even stop this? But you can and you can make a difference in your community and if all of us had that attitude, the change would come. Annie: I just get chills and for verklempt, like we could do this, guys,! Yes! Jen: Yes! Annie: I think that’s awesome, snaps for Jen. Jen: Thank you very much. Annie: Yeah, anything to add, Lauren? Anything you want to add before we wrap up? Lauren: No, I think you guys hit it all, I know I was just kind of a more quiet bystander, but you guys were just right in your groove and I think you guys hit it out of the park. I’ll just note that as someone who experienced secondhand dieting, and then the path that it led me down, that fuels me to be the change and not be afraid to stand up and say “Hey, this isn’t OK, we’re not going to talk about this.” Annie: Oh yeah, I think that’s, I mean, I don’t want to speak for you, Jen, but I think that’s why the three of us are in the business we’re in, we’re trying to be the change that we needed when we were younger. Jen: Yeah, totally. Lauren: Yes. Annie: Like, the voice, the message, the solution, the opportunity that we needed when we were younger and that’s, you know, how we are paying it forward, so to speak and I’m going to start crying so I’m going to stop talking. Yeah, so anyways, just to wrap up, when you’re out of your bubble this holiday season, moving into the new year, moving into summer, spring and summer, don’t be afraid to have a conversation. It doesn’t need to be confrontational, argumentative it could just be like “Hey, could we change the subject. I don’t want to talk about this when my kids are in earshot and you know, just start creating awareness and shifting the conversations that you’re having within your home and with your girlfriends and with your family can make a really, really big impact. To me, it’s, I picture waves of an ocean and you know, what one wave just kind of moves right into the other and it’s like, we just all connect to each other, eventually. Lauren: Yep. Annie: And if we’re all in the same page, if we’re all moving the same direction, we can make a really, really big impact on our own lives and more importantly, the lives of our kids so they don’t have to grow up in diet culture and negative body image and weight talk and all that junk. Jen: Yes, we do not have to normalize for them what was normalized for us. Annie: Alright, awkward ending. Lauren: As usual. Annie: You know what, that’s going to be on my topic, on my to do list today, so find a way to wrap up the podcast that’s not extremely awkward. Jen: That’s not like, “OK, bye!” Lauren: Okay, bye! Annie: No. But, alright, thanks guys. Lauren: Love you, bye! Annie: It was fun, kay, bye! Jen: Bye. Lauren: Bye. The post Setting Body Talk Boundaries Over The Holidays appeared first on Balance365 .…
Annie and Lauren interview Registered Dietitian Marci Evans to answer the question once and for all “Is sugar addiction real?” Marci delves into the science, the psychology and the keys to feeling less out of control about sugar and more in control of your life. Strap in for the latest and greatest in peer-reviewed research and what it all really means. What you’ll hear in this episode: Clickbait headlines and sugar research Is sugar addicting? Sugar and Cocaine: How alike are they? Abstinence from sugar and its impact on cravings What rodents taught us about sugar Finding food peace in the messy middle Black and white thinking and sugar The difference between diet rules and noticing what feels good for your body Stopping the cycle of all or nothing with sugar Self-inventory for vulnerability factors Exploring “problematic” foods again Building on quick wins How restriction impacts the brain’s response to sugar The importance of learning to be self-aware with the kindness Your inner dialogue and its impact on your success in reaching your goals The biggest lie of diet culture The truth about your body’s natural tendencies Building self-trust Repeat customers and the diet industry Being responsible consumers of nutrition information Resources: Marci Evans Blog on sugar Learn more about Balance365 Life here Subscribe on Apple Podcasts , Spotify , Google Play , or Android so you never miss a new episode! Visit us on Facebook | Follow us on Instagram | Check us out on Pinterest Join our free Facebook group with over 40k women just like you! Did you enjoy the podcast? Leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or Google Play ! It helps us get in front of new listeners so we can keep making great content. Transcript Annie: You feel completely out of control when it comes to candy and cookies, craving sweets even when you’re not hungry. Maybe you found yourself wondering if you’re addicted to sugar. Scour the internet for the term “sugar addiction” and you’re likely to come up with an overwhelming amount of information, much of which seems to contradict each other. Our culture has a pretty extreme view of sugar and unfortunately, the diet and fitness industry is full of pseudoscience and fear-mongering headlines claiming sugar is addictive as cocaine but what’s the truth? Is sugar really addicting? We invited internationally recognized dietitian Marci Evans on today’s podcast to discuss just that. Marci and her team help clinicians and clients alike develop smart, enduring strategies for overcoming eating disorders, disordered eating and the backlash of chronic dieting. Marci, in particular, has done extensive research on the tenants of food addiction after noting that the concept didn’t square with her clinical experience and yet she felt it captured how so many people feel in relationship to food. On today’s episode Marci, Lauren and I discuss what the past 5 years of research and experience have taught Marci about sugar addiction and steps you can take to feel more in control of your sweet tooth. Enjoy! Marci! Welcome to the show. Thank you so much for joining us. I’m so happy to have you. Marci: Oh, it is my absolute pleasure to be here, to come to chat with you ladies about a topic that is near and dear to my heart. It is just an absolute pleasure so thank you so much for inviting me to join you. Annie: Yeah, we’ve been waiting for a while. I think we started emailing months ago and it just schedules just didn’t work out until now. Marci: Yeah, I know. You guys are very, very patient which I appreciate and I had to get through one more big talk before I could put anything else on my plate so I’m glad, I’m really glad to be here and hopefully the wait will be worth it by the time we wrap up this I know what will be a really interesting conversation. Annie: Yeah, I’m sure it will be. Lauren’s here with us too, Lauren, how are you? Lauren: Hi! I’m good. Excited to be here. Annie: I was just going to say, I bet you’re super stoked- Lauren: Pumped. Annie: Because here we are discussing one of the most talked about topics in our Facebook community, which if you aren’t a member, it’s Healthy Habits Happy Moms on Facebook. We have almost 40,000 women in our private Facebook community and something that comes up a lot is “Is sugar addicting?” And this is a highly debated topic on the Internet and especially in the fitness and nutrition community and as Marci has noted in her blog post, which we will share a link of the show notes to her website, if you just do a google search for “Is sugar addicting?” or “sugar addiction” you’re likely to come up with a wide range of answers from “Yes, absolutely, it totally is addicting” to “No, that’s just a load of crap” it can be really confusing to the mainstream listener, reader, consumer and Marci, this is why we have you on because you’ve done a lot of extensive research on this topic. So how did you get interested in the topic of food addiction or sugar addiction? Marci: Well, I think you nailed it in a couple of different ways. The first is that many people have the experience of feeling really out of control of food and feeling really chaotic, so the term ‘food addiction’, which has gotten written about more and more just in popular media, feels like it’s very resonant for a lot of people and it’s sort of like “Oh gosh, food addiction. There’s something about that feels true for me.” And so it’s something that I have seen a lot of people come to me in my practice with, so it’s something that is definitely coming up in my work in a day to day way, just like you ladies are describing, seeing this in your Facebook group and so I think that that’s a piece of it and then the other piece of it you also alluded to is that there’s been more research on the topic of food addiction and you know, it’s definitely a double-edged sword that this research makes it into the mainstream media. It’s great that the research is being done, the problem is that the way that it often gets written about in the media is not totally accurate to the science and so you see a lot of compelling headlines that you know draw people in and you know get a lot of clicks and get a lot of post likes and are resonant to how people feel that it gets really pulled away from what the actual science says. So I became interested because I learned about it several years ago in a training that I went to but then it was just so relevant in my day-to-day work with my clients that I was like, “I can’t not look more into this. This is just like staring me in my face.” Annie: Yeah and I am, you’re so right because I do think when I’m thinking about all of the headlines and the information that I have read it is very kind of fear mongering, you know, or polarizing or it’s very extreme. We call that click bait, right? Like, you, they’re just trying to get you to bite, right? Marci: Total clickbait. And then they have these pictures of the brain that look very, you know, very smart and you know, “Wow, look how the brain is lighting up” in these comparisons to, like, drug pathways and so it becomes very tantalizing info that people can get really pulled into for sure. Lauren: And I think it’s become just “common knowledge” that sugar is addicting, like, if you ask just random people on the street “Have you heard sugar is addicting?” I’m willing to bet, you know, many, many of them will say “Yes.” Annie: Yeah, OK, so are we ready to just dive right in? Like, can we just, can we just go? Are we ready? Marci: We can absolutely go for it. Annie: Alright, Marci, is sugar addiction a thing? Marci: So the state of the research tells us that sugar is not physiologically addicting. That’s the bottom line so looking at what happens in our bodies when you eat sugar and is there a chemical response that pulls you in to have it more and more and more and that you become sort of this slave to sugar and that the only way to kind of stop yourself is that you have to go cold turkey and that is 100 percent not borne out in the research. Annie: But people have to still keep listening to the rest of the show. Marci: People are going to be like “Who is this chick? Get her off. Yeah, done.” Annie: Like, “Oh I got what, I got the answer I was looking for, it’s not a thing” but you have you have some points of reference that I think are really important to follow this up. Like, to date there is no scientific evidence that sugar is addictive but that’s not exactly, like, there’s more to it than just that and I love that you say, you kind of touched on this earlier, that a person’s sense or feeling of being out of control around sugar or any food in general is not the same thing as having an addiction. Marci: Yes, that distinction to me is everything. That is like where I press pause and spend so much of my time, whether I’m teaching professionals or talking with individuals or nonprofessionals, is that there is the science part, right, that I love, that looks all about the brain wiring and what is happening in a person’s body in, as they’re eating sugar or not eating sugar, right, and we talked about that and kind of gave you the cold, hard truth, sugar is not addicting. However, the other piece of it that is equally important is a person’s experience and what happens inside of them when they eat sugar or when they deprive themselves of sugar, which is really kind of the key part that we’ll be, I think, spending quite a bit of time on, that creates feelings that are really relevant, right? So when people feel chaotic, when people feel out of control, when people feel completely preoccupied and obsessed, those things are very, very real. Those things are important. Those things we have to understand and it’s your guys’ job and it’s my job to help my clients through those experiences and they’re actually very common but those experiences aren’t rooted in an addiction but they are very, very, very important and the feeling can feel like an addiction. Lauren: Yeah, for sure. Annie: So, Marci, are you talking about when we hear in, you know, magazine articles or blog posts, when we hear the response that like this when people eat sugar that their brain lights up like they’re on some, a drug similar to like cocaine, is that what you’re talking about? Marci: Yeah. And I can speak to that if you want me to kind of tease that apart some, those headlines. Annie: Yeah, let’s just jump right into it. Let’s go. Marci: So, unfortunately that is a classic example of total misinterpretation of the scientific research and actually, what we see, when this was published, that sort of initial headline of look at these brain scans and look at this area of the pleasure centers of the brain and this is, you know, more powerful than when a person does cocaine, you know, these really, really, like you said, clickbait, fear mongering type of post was a misreading of the literature from a couple of cardiologists who wrote this post in response to the research, but when you look at the research and what the neurobiologists actually explain is that we have natural reward pathways in the brain. They are there. They are meant to be there. There’s no getting rid of them. They are actually good and helpful things in keeping us alive that we do certain things as humans and we get a reward so that we do them again. So we have natural rewards for things like eating, things like sex, things like holding a baby and feeling really good about it, listening to music, connecting with friends. We get these positive feelings and vibes and actually these neurotransmitters in our brain get produced so that we do those things again because from an evolutionary standpoint, these are the things that have kept us alive. These are the key things that have kept us thriving as a species. And so what we’ve learned is that when a person abuses a non-necessary substance, say, like cocaine, cocaine actually comes and hijacks those completely normal, healthy reward pathways that are supposed to be there. So this idea that “Oh my gosh, you see this lighting up when we eat sugar. This is evidence that you’re an addict. That is not at all what it is saying. You’re seeing normal responses in the brain. We can talk a little bit more about that in terms of what’s normal and what might be problematic in showing these brain images but it’s the drugs that come in and hijack the normal pathways that we get really, really concerned about but those pathways are there. They’re meant to be there. They don’t mean you’re sick. They don’t mean you’re flawed or that you have some big problem. Annie: Interesting. So it was just some misinterpretation of research that caused this whole, like, flood of “sugar is the equivalent to cocaine.” Marci: That’s exactly right. Lauren: And I think it’s, it can be comforting to someone too who feels so out of control around food or sugar to be like, “Oh well, that explains it. I’m addicted, right?” But I think we’ll see that that kind of takes your power away because you aren’t addicted and there are things that you can do to not feel so out of control around those foods. Marci: That’s exactly right and even to add on a layer of complexity is that the notion that I am addicted encourages people to abstain from those foods, right? Well, if I am an addict, the only way to manage this is to totally take these things out of my life and here is where this is probably the most important thing I have to offer to each of you who are listening right now is that that abstaining or we might call it restriction of those foods actually leads to changes in your brain that have a stronger pleasure response that gets lit up and actually encourages you and compels you to have those foods even more. So when the researchers looked at this phenomenon they used rodent models and what they did is they had these rodents and they took the sugar away and restricted them and put them on a diet and it was those rodents that had an amplified response in their brain to sugar and it was those rodents who demonstrated this same chaotic “addictive” behavior, binge-like behavior but when they had the rodents where they didn’t put them on a diet and they didn’t restrict them, they had completely, what we would say, just totally normal responses to sugar and none of the addictive-like behavior and so the problem with the addiction model is not only that yes, totally takes your power away but in addition, it’s going to create the exact scenario that you most fear and it’s going to create the behavior and the changes in your brain chemistry that cause you to feel more out of control and cause you to feel more and more like an addict. So it’s like this double bind, it’s like a double whammy. Annie: And Marci, does research support that for just any food, labeling any foods as bad or addicting or off limits or is this just sugar. Marci: Right now, the research is looking specifically at sugar because the researchers, what they’re trying to do is to get more and more specific and this is where that research on food is much more complicated than the research on say, alcohol or drug abuse because we as humans don’t eat singular substances like table sugar, right? For the most part, we eat things like ice cream and cupcakes or Doritos and so researchers have tried to get as specific as possible to understand is there a specific ingredient that folks are addicted to and this is again where the research right now really points to, you know, the flaws in the research is like, we don’t even have a specific ingredient that we can look at and point to and say that is the addictive substance. Annie: This is something that we talk about frequently in our community and our program Balance365 that this idea of the restriction leads to bingeing or more, it sets you up to be more likely to binge, because so often what we see in our community is that women want to stop the binge by going back to restriction. They’re like, “Oh, I ate too much sugar, got to get rid of all the sugar now!” Marci: Yeah, I have to fix it. Annie: Yeah, instead of stopping at the restriction, sort of resetting or reframing your perspective on sugar. Instead of just saying “I’m all out. I can’t have any.” Try to have it in moderation might reduce your likelihood of binge. Marci: Yes and I feel completely empathetic to anyone who identifies kind of with what you just described because I think that it’s human nature that when you feel like you’ve swung to one side of the pendulum and part of this, you see, I’m a neuro science geek, part of this is just how we’re wired to be as humans. We want to put things into boxes and we tend to be very black and white thinkers so that when we move to one extreme it is very, I think, natural and compelling to hold yourself to the other extreme as a way to find a counterbalance but what happens is that you just sort of envision a pendulum, for most people, they end up swinging between one extreme to the other and it’s not very natural for most people to say “Well, how do I respond to this chaos? I try to find a happy medium somewhere in the middle, right?” If you just had a day or days or weeks of feeling out of control and you’re bingeing and you’re feeling awful. It is very natural to want to kind of pull over to that other side to detox, to restrict, to put up the food rules because when you’re feeling that way it feels awful and you don’t want to feel that way again and imagining dipping your toe into that middle ground can feel very, very foreign and very scary and for a lot of people, they’re like, “That just doesn’t even seem to make sense. You see, I can’t be trusted. I need to put up all the rules and all the walls and all the barriers.” Lauren: You know, it’s interesting that you say that that’s how humans are wired because we call ourselves, like, we work in the messy middle and it’s so hard to get people to kind of reframe and kind of get it and like, we were talking about before the podcast, it takes people you know a few months sometimes of following us to kind of like indoctrinate themselves in that messy middle. Marci: Totally. I love that you guys call it the messy middle because that’s usually exactly what it is. It doesn’t stay messy forever though. It does not stay messy forever but the process can be a bit messy. However, I do find that when I talk to my clients and I really, I’m sure you guys have seen this too, is that when you talk with them about their experience and their stories and what it’s been like for them over the years, that their lived experience is this sort of swinging from being on a diet to them feeling out of control and then needing another diet and then feeling out of control and so their lived experience really points to and supports what we see in the literature and in the research and why so many of us as clinicians are advocating for that messy middle because their lived experience and the research shows us that restrict-binge cycle is not their fault, it is not a failing, it’s not because they’re screwed up and doing it wrong. It’s because it’s a set up and so those skills for navigating that middle ground can feel really tough at first but that’s where the sweet spot is, like, that’s where you find food peace, like, that where you find sustainable patterns of living. Annie: That is what we share in our community often is that it’s, like, a practice and it’s a skill and it’s just a matter of practicing that new skill over and over and over until that becomes your new normal because it’s not, like, that, like you said that is not natural for me, it’s not natural for a lot of women. We’re so used to, like, being on the wagon or off the wagon, we’re in, we’re out, we’re perfect, we’re failing, we’re right, wrong, black, white, like, so to live in this like gray areas, like, “Oh my gosh, what are the rules? What am I doing? Like, there’s no boundaries, where are the boundaries?” Marci: Like, right, “Just give me the guidebook. Tell me exactly how to do it, I can follow it.” Annie: Yes, which in the in the fitness industry, that is so common, I mean, which I think was which is why our program is such a breath of fresh air, of course, I think that, but it’s, you know, we’re like trying to help you navigate that for yourself versus just telling you what to do so you can hopefully go on to create “boundaries and rules” that work for you and I mean, if that’s what you need, that we don’t have to impose our values or morals or rules on to them. Marci: Yeah, that’s awesome and I think that finding that middle space that is is something, I mean, it sounds like what you’re really describing is something that’s really internally guided rather than something that’s externally imposed and that can feel really, really scary but the amazing thing is is that as you go through the process of really kind of tuning in and really listening and really kind of taking a break from all of that external noise is that you can find patterns and habits and boundaries that are truly sustainable, you know, I wouldn’t say I have a rule of eating every you know 3 to 4 hours, it’s not like I have to follow this rule but I know that when I eat every 3 to 4 hours I feel much, much better and so that’s how I eat most of the time but it’s not a rule that’s been sort of handed down to me that you have to follow it and that’s kind of the difference. Annie: Absolutely. Lauren: Yeah. Annie: OK so to circle back then as it pertains to sugar and this sense of feeling out of control when it comes to sugar consumption, how do you break that cycle of, like, you’re either all in and you’re eating all the sugar or you’re not eating any sugar at all for 30 days or, you know, whatever it is, do you have some guidelines that you use with your clients or that you would recommend in general for how to stop that mindset, or reframe that mindset or stop that cycle? Marci: I do. I do and what I want to say before I dive and sort of offer some tips is to say this process is a process and we’ve already been talking about that, be really patient with yourself and I would also say if you can have in your mind the idea of approaching your experience with a lot of curiosity and just kind of wonder and, “Oh, isn’t that interesting?” in trying to find kind of that neutral detective voice that will help you learn along the way because it’s going to be bumpy, you know ,I love your messy middle, like, it’s going to be bumpy. It’s not as if I’m going to give you a formula and then you’re going to take the formula and you’re like “Boom, got it. No more problems with food, right?” But allow yourself to kind of take some of these ideas, try them on, experiment with them and use them to give you more data and more information but the number one place that I encourage people to start is to do a self-inventory and to take some time with the self inventory, like, do it over several days or a week or so. And ask yourself, what are the things that leave me vulnerable to “overdoing it with food right” so it could be a zillion things, like sky’s the limit, so you could think about “Well, it’s maybe related to my food environment or maybe related to how stressed out I am or my mood or how much my kids are bugging me or how much, you know, my job is completely overwhelming me or the time of day or the amount of food that’s available to me or how well I’ve nourished myself that day, how over-hungry, you know, how much maybe I’ve been following a diet that actually doesn’t meet my nutritional needs. I’m constantly undercutting in an attempt to lose weight but then go over-hungry and that’s when I find myself really having a hard time with food.” So trying to be as extensive as you possibly can in creating this inventory of what I call your vulnerability factors and then you can start to have a little bit more of a nuanced conversation in your own mind around “I have a hard time with sugar when, you know, I’m really, really tired, I’m sleep deprived, I haven’t eaten enough and I’ve got high levels of stress,” right? So you’re starting to really get to know yourself rather than saying “Oh, I just don’t have any will power” or “I’m an addict therefore I have to get rid of this,” you’re really inventorying to get a sense of “Oh these are the things that leave me really, really vulnerable to having a tough time” and the other thing that I would add in is, that’s really important and can take a little bit of time to get to know, is “What are my thoughts and beliefs that I tell myself about my relationship to food in my relationship to sugar, specifically? What is the dialogue in my brain? What thoughts do I tell myself? What do I believe and where did those beliefs come from? Are those beliefs that I learned when I was little from my own mom? Are those beliefs that I was taught from going on a zillion diets? Are those beliefs, you know, that I learned from, you know, my girlfriend down the street?” So really be very, very critical and I would say, like, literally journal this out, try to do it like on a piece of paper or if you have an online journal and really get out of your own head “What do I tell myself and what do I believe about sugar and where did those beliefs come from?” So starting with those two inventories is a really, really important place to begin. Annie: I really, really like both of those suggestions. “What you talked about, that vulnerability Journal is kind of similar, in our program we call it, like, triggers, you know, like, what are you doing, where are you at, what are you feeling, what are you thinking, what did you just do, who are you with?” Because all of those things can really impact our behavior and especially when it comes to food and fitness and I know you know we’re just coming off of Halloween season so I know a lot of people have been having candy in the house, you know, it could just be as. I mean not as simple as. but that could be an element into how much sugar you’re consuming, like, is it just a matter of convenience, like, it’s staring you in the face all day, right? Marci: Totally. Exactly, exactly, you have huge amounts of it surrounding you and I love that you guys use the language of skill building because that is the exact language that I also use with my clients, where I say “Learning to eat in a peaceful balanced way is like building a skill” and the cool thing about viewing it as a skill is that a skill is something that can be developed but if you are someone, and you are very good company if you are, who has spent a lot of your life in a dieting mindset, it’s going to take some time to rebuild that skill of balanced, peaceful, non-chaotic eating and so I am really a proponent of saying “Let’s take just little baby steps here.” Now, I do know that there are some practitioners and other people who said, you know, the best thing I did was just surround myself with tons of sugar and tell myself I have total permission to eat this food and to really listen to my body and that it was rough in the beginning but then I really got to a place where I really believed it wasn’t going to go anywhere and then I stopped bingeing on it, however if that works for you, go for it, don’t let me stand in your way. My experience is that for most people what ends up happening is they end up just feeling really out of control for a stretch of time and it feels like more proof, “See, I can’t be trusted, you see, I was out of control” and so it just feels like more evidence kind of building up and so that tends to not be the approach I go with most of my clients, that with most of my clients we’re like slow and steady, we are, you know, I always use the bike analogy. We’re starting off on a balance bike and we’ve got, you know, a bike that’s maybe a little bit bigger, a little bit, you know, a little bit more like an adult bike and then we move into something that’s more advanced and then we’re really going on the unicycle but we don’t just hop on the unicycle right in the beginning, right? We’re going to start we’re just taking these little baby steps and the point is to begin to have more regular access to the foods that you have trouble with but to do it within the framework of really honoring the things that make you particularly vulnerable. So one of your biggest triggers or one of your biggest vulnerabilities is, maybe, what do you guys see actually? What do you notice? I should ask you, in your Facebook group and you know your audience, what would you say is one of their biggest vulnerabilities? Lauren: I would say skipping meals or not eating enough throughout the day. A lot of people find themselves then bingeing or overeating on sugar and snacks at night or in the evenings after they put their kids to bed. Marci: Totally, so that’s perfect. So I would say if you have a day where maybe you haven’t adequately nourished yourself when you skip some meals and it’s evening time, I would say that’s not going to be the most helpful time for you to practice eating something like Halloween candy in a way that’s going to feel not totally chaotic, right? It’s like, well, that’s not really a fair experiment because we knew that was probably a set up from the beginning and so I kind of take that inventory and say “Let’s try to eliminate as many of those vulnerabilities as possible. And start having little exposures where you’re giving yourself permission to have these foods, low vulnerability, low trigger, challenging those old thoughts and beliefs and developing those coping skills to help you manage the craziness that is life and all the stress that life brings and then it’s repeating those things over and over again. So I had a client, I mean, I’ve done this was so many clients, she had a lot of trouble, one of her hardest foods was Nutella and she’s like “Marci, I’m telling you, every single time I bring Nutella into my house it’s gone in a couple days, like, I just can’t handle this Nutella.” And so the way we ended up going about it was we ended up deciding to integrate it at the very start of her day and so when she would come see me, we did this so slow, like we literally did this over months and I would keep it in my office and I know, some of you might be thinking “Why don’t I have my own dietician” I bet you could be really, really creative. She would come to my office, she would bring a balanced meal and she would do some Nutella with the rest of her meal and then we would note, “What are the thoughts that you are having? What kind of tools and skills can you use to kind of help you through your day because you have a busy day, what’s your food plan, like, making sure you have enough food to get you through your day.” And we sort of charted through all her vulnerabilities and then we did that again and again and then we sort of upped the ante where she took some of the Nutella and she repeated that on her own and so then we just stepped it, stepped it up and as she was developing more skillfulness and more ability, then, I mean, again it wasn’t for a couple months, then she brought the Nutella into her home but we started it with just the tiniest of baby steps. Lauren: I love that. Annie: This is a, yeah, I do too and this just feels like, my background is fitness, but it’s like a lot of times people just need a win, you know, and they kind of just build their confidence slowly and slowly and slowly and over time it’s like, you know, that quote “Little by little you travel far.” It helps to build that self efficacy so that they can believe like “Oh my gosh, maybe I can do this,” but to go from 0 to 100 can be really overwhelming like, “Oh my gosh, no I can’t ever have Nutella in my home and not eat the whole jar” like that’s just, that doesn’t seem even doable but I bet you know now she’s like “Oh yeah, maybe I can.” Marci: Exactly. Annie: or “I am.” Marci: Yeah, “I am.” Yeah it’s really cool because I no longer work with this client because she’s doing so well and she doesn’t need me anymore and that’s always my goal and absolutely, she has all of the things in her house but it took us really breaking it down and it’s exactly like you said, it was her having a little win to be like “Oh, maybe it’s not the sugar, maybe it’s all of the beliefs that I have about sugar and the ways I’ve approached it before and their reaction to all of the deprivation.” Like, I just cannot overstate the implication of having dieted and having that restriction mindset really sets us up to go to the other side of things. Like, it’s really interesting when you look at the brain scan literature when they look at folks who have a history of dieting and restriction and they show them images of what scientists call like, you know, palatable foods or we could say, like, high sugar foods or high fat foods, we might think it was “naughty foods” or “bad foods” is that their brain regions of pleasure light up even higher when you compare to people who don’t sort of hit that profile of long dieting history and so it takes time that gradual permission for that hyper response to get dialled down but it’s the only way for it to dial down. So if you keep going back to dieting and keep going back to restriction it’s going to keep that elevated response, but if you can end this gradual way, practice it and your body and your brain get used to “Oh, this food isn’t going anywhere.I have this food in my life. It’s not as if one time a year I get to eat X, Y and Z. Then that hyper response calms down and we can see kind of like the charge around food sort of settles down and it becomes more neutral. Annie: And that just, I mean, that to me sounds like freedom and such peace to be able to live, you know, or just be wherever you are and know that like you don’t have to hold yourself back or you’re just going to be a maniac on, you know, a pizza buffet or an ice cream sundae, that you can just coexist with the foods you love and enjoy them in moderation. Lauren: Yeah, another thing I really loved about your example is about going through your vulnerabilities, like that client within the Nutella probably had to build some other habits to kind of reduce those vulnerabilities, is that right? Marci: Right, you’re spot on, totally. Yes, she had to kind of identify what other tools that I need in my tool box that help me to manage when I’m feeling really overwhelmed with work and when I’m feeling overtaxed or when I have my inner critic and my inner critic is really, really loud so we had to do a ton of work on helping her to notice how is she speaking to herself and what are the consequences and what’s the likeliest outcome when you continue to speak to yourself in that mean, critical way and I would say that’s a huge, huge cornerstone of the piece, huge cornerstone of the work that I do with my clients is cultivating a couple of skills and so these are some of the broad, brushstrokes skills that I will mention for you and mention for your listeners is developing the ability to be self aware but with kindness. As well as this skill of being able to be compassionate with yourself and you guys probably see this all the time, people have a really hard time being compassionate with themselves because they feel like if I’m compassionate I’m just myself slack, right, and I’m never going to make that forward progress. It is the opposite, the more critical and nasty you are to yourself the less likely you are to achieve your goals and make positive change. If you can talk to yourself like you would to your child or talk to yourself like you would to someone you love and care about, your best friend, those are the same things that help you to remain neutral and curious and that enhances your ability to make sustainable changes and so I spend so much time helping my clients notice and shift the way that they interact and talk with themselves and really working on the inner dialogue. Annie: We have a saying in our community that gets dropped frequently and I absolutely love it, it’s “we take great care of things we love and your body is no exception” but I think you are so right, Marci, that when women think about being kind to themselves and speaking nicely to themselves or coming from a place of love, they’re worried that they’re going to get complacent or that they’re going to just, like, I won’t have a desire to go workout if I’m, like, too nice to myself or I won’t have a desire to eat vegetables if I don’t beat myself up and shame myself into eating this salad with no dressing or whatever it is. And that’s just not been our experience. Marci: Yeah it’s not, it doesn’t surprise me that that’s not been your experience because it’s fundamentally untrue. So one of the things the biggest lies of diet culture is that our nature as human beings is to lay on a couch and do nothing but eat ice cream and that we are constantly having to fight against that nature. That is not true, actually our bodies and systems create vibrancy, they crave balance, they crave things that allow us to feel well and we know that if we are polarized to any extreme we aren’t going to feel well. And so our bodies are constantly trying to move us towards homeostasis so we can flip that narrative, we have to live that narrative from “If left to my own devices, I’m going to be a total just slob on the couch” and say “You know what, actually, left to my own devices, I want to feel really good and I know that if what allows me to feel really good is to be in a pretty balanced space.” If you can imagine eating only gummy bears and bagels for the rest your life, you can imagine that probably wouldn’t feel well, right? If you can imagine eating only spinach and chicken breast for the rest your life, like, that also doesn’t sound so great and so being able to trust that our inner nature and our core souls, actually creates movement, creates balance, creates health, creates vibrancy, all of those things, that you can begin to relax a little bit and be like “I don’t have to ride myself so hard, you know, I trust that my inner core craves healthy themes but all the dieting that we do that stamps out that inner flame and when we move away from diets we find that we have it naturally and intuitively inside of us.” Annie: Absolutely. Lauren shares with our community often, like, people that say that, you know, they say what you just said, like “If I listen to my body, I would just eat ice cream all day, every day” and Lauren is like “Have you tried that? Like, have you actually tried that? Like I think you think you would feel good but I don’t think you would feel good if you just did that all day every day” and people are like “Actually, you’re probably right, like, no, that wouldn’t leave me feeling good” and that this idea that, you know, like you said, if left to my own devices, like, I might actually take good care of myself, especially if I think about it in terms of how I take care of my children, how I take care of my spouse or my partner or what I would say to a girlfriend if she missed a workout or if she overate, you know, some ice cream. I wouldn’t beat her up. I wouldn’t berate her. I wouldn’t say “You’re lazy, like, get your act together.” I would be like “Hey, that’s OK. Like, now we know too much ice cream leaves us feeling yucky, like, let’s not do it again.” Marci: Exactly and if you just can notice that what your body is communicating to you and also trust, and this is where so many people skip a step, because we’re not taught to do this in our culture is that our heads override with a rule, right, too much ice cream and our head says “Tomorrow: rule, no ice cream” but if you can say “OK, I’m going to take a pause from my busy brain and say “If I were to let my body choose what the next step might be,” you will notice that your body has all this wisdom to re-regulate you but that head jumps in way too soon and creates this big rule because you’re in a place where you’re feeling awful and you’re feeling really scared and you’re feeling really anxious, right and so but it’s that practice of noticing, “OK, my head is so loud but if I were to just ask, what would my body say?” and I did actually a hilarious experiment like the ice cream one you guys just gave. I had a client, this is one of my favorite stories, we’re working on moving away from this dieting mindset and she said “Marci, my hardest food is gummy bears.” She’s like, “I’m obsessive with gummy bears, I love gummy bears. So you’re telling me (because we were working on unconditional permission, one of the intuitive eating principles, unconditional permission to eat whatever food she wanted)” she said, “Now you’re telling me that I am allowed to have gummy bears for lunch” and I said “Totally, if what you want is just gummy bears for lunch you can totally have gummy bears but I want you to make sure of 2 things, one: you get yourself enough gummy bear so you’ve gotten enough to eat for lunch and I also am going to ask that you have to pay attention to the taste of the gummy bears and how they feel in your body and how you feel afterwards.” She’s like “OK, I’m totally going to do it.” And I think she was, like, looking to like prove me wrong, to be like “I’m just out of control with gummy bears, I can’t be trusted. You don’t know what you’re talking about.” And she came back and I said “Did you do the gummy bears for lunch?” and she’s like “I totally did” and I said “How did it go? What did you notice? What did you learn?” and she said, “Well, I thought that I was just going to be super excited and super happy to eat gummy bears for lunch, like I really felt like I was getting away with something but what I learned is that if I only eat gummy bears at lunch I actually feel sick and I kind of feel shaky” and so I kind of responded, you know, in a very neutral way to say “You know, that’s really interesting.” I said, “So if you were to redo that to where you wanted to have gummy bears at lunch time, you wanted to pair it with other things so that you could feel energized and that you could feel, you know, not distracted at work and you’re not shaky and your stomach doesn’t feel upset, what would you choose?” and she listed out what she had in mind with gummy bears sort of on the side and it was this, like, completely, you know, nutritious, totally balanced meal and I was like “OK, you know, maybe you want to try that” and it was about her experimentation and learning “Oh, I don’t have to have this hard core rule, you know, like, “Don’t eat gummy bears” it was like, “Oh, it turns out that if I really listen I don’t want to just eat gummy bears for lunch, like, I feel kind of awful when I do that.” Annie: And it was inside of her, like, that she knew that, it was almost innate, like this is, “I did this, I didn’t like how I felt, I’m going to try this” and what an amazing moment. That’s an awesome story. Marci: And it was really cool because, like, you know, we were working on “you have to truly give yourself permission, that has to be there, it can’t be conditional, you have to really say ‘I am allowed to have these foods’ and I’m going to practice and I’m going to notice” and she did that and what she noticed was “I’m allowed to have gummy bears for lunch but do I actually want to” and when you’re not rebelling against something and you have permission, then you have the autonomy to actually make a choice. Annie: Yeah, I’ve shared this analogy so many times but when I was in 8th grade of my parents made this boy off limits for dating and his name was Alex and all I wanted to do, I wasn’t even really interested in Alex I don’t think, but when they said I couldn’t date him I was like, “I need to date Alex.” Marci: You were, like, on an Alex binge. Annie: I was like, “Well, now, watch me, now I’m going to make this happen” but yeah, but it’s kind of the same principle kind of applies to food when you make all foods permissible then a lot of them lose their appeal. Like do I really even want this now that I can have it? Marci: Yeah. Yeah and sometimes our head really wants something, especially when we’ve been really conditioned to say “Ooh, that’s off limits, you can’t have that” So sometimes our head will be like “Ooh, I really want this thing” and then we say “Well, OK, I can have it. I can have gummy bears for lunch but what will that experience actually be like and is that what I want to choose for myself right now?” Lauren: Yeah, I think that dieting, like the biggest flaw even over, you know, reducing your caloric intake in half, basically, which is a big flaw, is just that you can’t trust your body, like it teaches you you cannot, you cannot be trusted. I think that’s like the root of everything, right? Marci: Oh my gosh, I couldn’t agree more. I feel like so much of the cleanup that I’m doing with my clients in terms of the diet culture is beginning to help my clients see this notion that you can’t be trusted, that idea was planted in your brain by the dieting industry and then they put you on a diet that would guarantee an outcome to where you feel out of control, that then looks like evidence that you can’t be trusted and then they give you another diet to follow. It is a complete construct of the dieting industry. It is not rooted in reality and our jobs are helping to move you away from that dieting mindset and towards a place of that inner self trust. Annie: Amen. That’s, and you already said this, Marci, but that’s, we joke that our business model might not be the most sustainable because we want to put the diet industry out of business and give women all the tools they need, give back women all the tools that they already had and so they aren’t forever reliant on us, like you said, like hopefully your clients learn to eat well and that supports their lifestyle and their goals and they don’t forever need you, right? But that’s not the diet industry’s motive. Marci: Oh no and it’s not how it sustains itself, right? I mean, if the average listener was to list out the number of diets that they’ve been on it would be evidence of “Oh yeah, this is based on repeat customers” but if I do my job really well, right, I’m going to work with people for a period of time and then my hope is that they aren’t going to return and maybe maybe they do, maybe life circumstances hit them up, you know, things happen but my goal is for my clients not have to be repeat customers. That’s the intention, right, is to get my clients to a place where there is so much internal self-trust built that they know how to navigate how to take care of themselves which is very, very different business model. Annie: Absolutely. Lauren: Yeah and I was just going to mention that there was actually an interview done with a Weight Watchers C.E.O. or former C.E.O. that said part of their business model that they would use to get investors is that they had so much repeat business, so many repeat clients and it’s like well, that kind of proves that your diet doesn’t work, you know? Marci: Exactly and it’s not intended to work. Lauren: Right. Marci: Right. Annie: OK, Marci, I want to thank you so much for your time. This was a wonderful, wonderful interview with you and I think it’s going to provide a lot of valuable and much-needed information to our community about sugar, is it addicting, is it not and as we clearly stated, it’s not, but that feeling of feeling out of control around sugar is something that a lot of women are familiar with and I think you gave some really, really great suggestions on how to begin regaining a sense of safeness or control around those foods. Marci: I sure hope so. It’s been so great to be here and I know you mentioned that you guys are going to link to a blog post that I wrote that really kind of delves into some of the science and some of the trouble with the food addiction model and that might be interesting for some of your readers to see and if it’s, or listeners, I should say, the readers of this blog post and also for folks who might be interested to dive into some of the research, there might be some science-minded folks I can also provide some citations to connect to what the state of the science is and you know, we kind of hit on this in the beginning and I’m sure you guys talk about this, there is so many problems with food and nutrition related research between how it’s conducted, how it’s disseminated and how it is portrayed in the media so the last thing that I would offer up to anyone who is listening is to take food headlines very, very lightly and if they are extreme, if they are black and white, if they are really, you know, kind of imposing a really extreme rule to take that very, very, very lightly, that there’s a lot of problems with reading and interpreting and sharing nutrition-related research in media and that is another way in which you can feel so pulled and sort of feel more out of control and like you don’t know where to go and you don’t know who to trust and you get pulled into another diet and that is why I’m just loving the messaging that you ladies are putting out into the world that is about cultivating greater self-trust because there’s going to be another headline out there and there’s going to be another podcast that I’m going to have to do about that headline. That is going to be my career probably until the end of time. So, do not take every headline so seriously and to really keep doing that work of developing that sense of self trust because it’s in there, it’s inside of you if you believe in it and I hope that this has been not only interesting but also given some concrete steps and tools to help you on your path in your journey in developing healthy relationship to food and body and yourself. Annie: I am certain that it has been and I’m so excited for our listeners to experience it too. Marci: Awesome, thanks. Annie: Thank you, Marci. Lauren: Thank you, Marci. Marci: Bye. Lauren: Bye. The post Is Sugar Addictive? appeared first on Balance365 .…
Long time thrifter Sarah Ruthven shares how she overcame her reluctance to spend money on herself and made the investment in herself that ultimately paid out in dividends with her family relationships. Sarah has been a member of Balance365 and No-Fuss Fat Loss and while she had a specific goal in mind, she was surprised […] The post New Jeans and Vacation Without Shame: Sarah’s Story appeared first on Balance365 .…
Annie and Jen are joined by Hillary McBride to discuss her research on women, aging, body image and the transformative power of getting older. Media messages and cultural learning are unpacked in this powerful exploration of how to get past the fear of aging and embrace living life to its fullest. What you’ll hear in […] The post Getting Older: Hillary McBride on Women and Aging appeared first on Balance365 .…
It’s soup, stew and hearty meals season. Fall is a time we gravitate towards more of those “comfort foods.” They just feel good and our relationships with food are complex. Jen, Annie and Lauren explore the science behind comfort foods, explore strategies to address emotional eating and how to handle those impulses when they arise. […] The post Do Comfort Foods Really Help? appeared first on Balance365 .…
On today’s show, Jen, Annie, and Lauren discuss overeating, whether accidental or intentional, and particularly around the holidays. The way you react to overeating can make a difference and It’s natural to have certain impulses after you’ve overeaten. Join us as we explore what those impulses are and how to handle them so you can […] The post You Overate, Now What? appeared first on Balance365 .…
1 Episode 39: Five Stages Of Behavior Change 1:02:11
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1:02:11Jen, Annie, Lauren and Melissa, Balance 365 Life’s head coach, examine the stages of behavior change, what they look like and how to move between them in a sustainable way to reach your goals. Having insights into how change comes about can help you make the changes that really matter to – and also to […] The post Five Stages of Behavior Change appeared first on Balance365 .…
Halloween can be a scary holiday when you think about how much candy your kids might eat. It doesn’t have to be that way! Join Annie and Jen as they discuss how to approach Halloween candy with your kids to take the headache out of candy holidays. Take note of their three tips to promote […] The post 3-Step Process for Teaching Children Moderation at Halloween appeared first on Balance365 .…
Halloween is fast approaching and that can be a nightmare for dieters who are trying to figure out how to approach candy with their wellness goals in mind. Annie and Lauren get together and bring five tips on how to manage candy around Halloween (or any time of year) – plus there’s an extra unscripted […] The post Five Tips for Enjoying Halloween Candy in Moderation appeared first on Balance365 .…
Nowadays there is so much technology devoted to assembling information about our daily lives for our analysis – whether we really need it or not. Annie and Jen discuss wearable technology and fitness trackers, and the data we collect about ourselves, how one in three people track their health data and whether that’s a healthy […] The post Tracking Weight, Steps, Food: When It Hurts, When It Helps appeared first on Balance365 .…
Calorie counting is often presented as the end all, be all of fat loss and nutrition. But is it really? Join us as Jen, Annie and Lauren explore the myths and truths associated with calorie counting and what really matters when it comes to reaching your goals while maintaining your sanity. We dig in to […] The post To Calorie Count or Not To Calorie Count? appeared first on Balance365 .…
Danica, a long-time Balance365 member, shares her insights on how Balance365 helped her achieve her fat loss goals, make changes in her life that felt right and shifted her mindset around life challenges. Jen and Annie discuss Danica’s story and how she made use of her lifetime membership to continue her journey at points of […] The post Small, Sustainable Changes: a Balance365 Journey with Danica appeared first on Balance365 .…
Annie and Lauren address late night snacking: the reasons people snack, simple strategies to address unwanted snacking, and the myth about what happens to your body if you eat after 7pm. They dig deep into the science of cravings, behavioral patterns and how to make changes that support your goals – if you want to. […] The post Late Night Snacking: Why We Do It And How To Stop appeared first on Balance365 .…
There is so much folk wisdom around food and nutrition that often turns out to be lacking in scientific and factual foundation. Jen, Annie and Lauren band together to dissect the myths and legends of nutrition and how you can make what works for you work even better (and what you might want to change […] The post Three Nutrition Rules That are Made to Be Broken appeared first on Balance365 .…
Not everyone loves exercise, but it has so many health benefits. Join Jen, Annie and Lauren as they explore how you, too, can fall in love with exercise, even if you currently hate it. Tune in for practical tips and advice to get you working more movement into your day, even if you’ve never really […] The post How To Fall In Love With Exercise, Even If You Hate It appeared first on Balance365 .…
A conversation that comes up frequently in the Balance365 and Healthy Habits Happy Moms communities is around pelvic floor physical therapy. Women want to know what to expect at their first appointment and how physical therapy can help them improve their lives. Jen and Annie brought Dr. Libby Trausch of Breathe Physical Therapy and Wellness […] The post What To Expect At Your First Pelvic Floor Physical Therapy Appointment appeared first on Balance365 .…
Vienna Pharaon of Mindful Marriage and Family Therapy joins Jen and Annie to talk about a common challenge encountered within the Balance365 and Healthy Habits Happy Moms community, learning how to bring needs forward and open the lines of communication in our relationships. Asking for and receiving support are valuable skills for self-care and Vienna […] The post Episode 29: A Therapist’s Advice on Asking For What You Need appeared first on Balance365 .…
1 Episode 28: How to Get Out Of A Slump 1:00:21
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1:00:21Everybody gets into a slump from time to time, but how do you pull yourself out of one? In this episode Jen, Annie and Lauren tackle how to get yourself out of a rut and back to practicing the habits that make you feel good. They discuss their own personal approaches and the recommendations they […] The post Episode 28: How to Get Out of a Slump appeared first on Balance365 .…
In the first part of this podcast, Annie, Jen and Lauren reviewed 5 personality traits common among those who struggle with overeating. In this episode, the next five traits are examined and discussed. Learn which mindset or personality traits might be holding you back and how you can work around them to reach your goals. […] The post Episode 27: 10 Personality Traits of Overeaters – Part 2 appeared first on Balance365 .…
Consistency is a value that is discussed often in Balance365, because we strive for that over perfection. In this episode, Jen, Annie and Lauren discuss 10 personality traits and the specific mindsets that can get in the way of consistency. They explore how to address them to improve your consistency with health and wellness goals. […] The post Episode 26: 10 Personality Traits Of Overeaters – Part 1 appeared first on Balance365 .…
The post Episode 25: New Name, Same Great Community appeared first on Balance365 .
If you’ve been on social media, chances are you’ve seen Before and After photos. These popular marketing tools and ways to share updates about our bodies have underlying meanings which Jen, Annie and Lauren explore. Beyond the Before and After pictures, they discuss other data points and dimensions of diet culture. What you’ll hear in […] The post Episode 24: Before And After Photos – Comparison, The Thief of Joy appeared first on Balance365 .…
1 Episode 23: Why Diets Don’t Work Even When You Do 1:00:02
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1:00:02It’s been said before that diets don’t work. Jen, Annie and Lauren get together and break down the cycle of the diet and why they don’t work. They discuss diet industry marketing, weight loss motivation and why willpower is never going to be enough. Find out why 95% of diets don’t work and what you […] The post Episode 23: Why Diets Don’t Work Even When You Do appeared first on Balance365 .…
As a followup to the Habits 101 podcast, Annie and Lauren get together to discuss how to break a bad habit. They share their own experiences and use Oreo cookies to explain how to replace things you don’t want to do with things that you do. Join them and learn about how going cold turkey […] The post Episode 22: The Oreo Cookie Approach To Breaking a Bad Habit appeared first on Balance365 .…
With summer coming, there are more opportunities for photographs and lots of women find they don’t always love the photos of themselves that are posted. This comes up a lot in the Healthy Habits Happy Moms community and Annie and Jen have information on why this happens and some helpful tips about what you can […] The post Episode 21: Before You Delete – How To Handle A Photo You Hate appeared first on Balance365 .…
Jen, Annie and Lauren sit down with Jacqueline Stickle, a registered dietitian with expertise in the area of school nutrition and community health. They discuss nutrition education for kids, how to evaluate how good it is and how to help foster healthy relationships with foods for our kids. Listen in and learn about: What to […] The post Episode 20: Learning About Food At School – A Dietitian’s Perspective appeared first on Balance365 .…
Balance365 is a habit based behavior change program that’s made up of fifteen separate habits. Jen, Lauren and Annie discuss which three habits in Balance365 were game changers for them, why and how they all work together. They share all of their juicy habit secrets, and give advice on how you can learn to implement […] The post Episode 19: Game Changers – Revealing 3 Balance365 Secrets appeared first on Balance365 .…
Annie, Lauren and Jen are joined by longtime Balance 365 member Sarah Cole to discuss how the program has helped her take control of her fitness, nutrition and other important lifestyle habits (and lost 50 pounds in the process!) Here is what they talked about and why they all ended up doing Beyonce hair flips […] The post Episode 18: From Obsessed to De-Stressed: A Balance365 Journey appeared first on Balance365 .…
Annie, Lauren and Jen have worked with hundreds and hundreds of women, in particular women who are looking to make changes to their nutrition and exercise habits and over the course of their work have noticed 4 common mistakes women make about nutrition. These principles are included in Balance365 and are discussed today: How much […] The post Episode 17: 4 Mistakes You Might Be Making With Nutrition appeared first on Balance365 .…
1 Episode 16: Feeding Our Families – Growing Healthy Relationships With Food 1:04:16
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1:04:16Annie, Lauren and Jen discuss how Balance365 principles apply to feeding our kids. What they have found is that Balance365 participants have eagerly tried to apply the principles they have learned to feeding their kids, not realizing there are limits to how the principles used with adults can be applied. This is why Lauren developed […] The post Episode 16: Feeding Our Families – Growing Healthy Relationships With Food appeared first on Balance365 .…
Annie and Lauren discuss the foundation of the Healthy Habits Happy Moms approach which is based on building habits (as the name suggests.) This podcast is designed to be a basic Habits 101 foundation to teach you how and why you should build healthy habits. Habits are the foundation of the Balance365 program and are […] The post Episode 15: Habits 101 – Hack Your Habits, Change Your Life appeared first on Balance365 .…
With the recent announcement of Weight Watchers new family oriented wellness program, Annie, Jen and Lauren discuss the implications and impacts of this controversial move. Each with a different level of experience with the Weight Watchers program, our hosts have an important conversation on teens and dieting. The following topics are discussed: What Weight Watchers […] The post Episode 14: Kids on Weight Watchers or Dieters in Training? appeared first on Balance365 .…
Hillary McBride is a registered clinical counsellor and PhD candidate in Counseling Psychology at the University of British Columbia. Her work and research focus on women’s body/self relationships and body image development, among other areas. Her book, “Mothers, Daughters, and Body Image: Learning to Love Ourselves as We Are” was released this year. The book […] The post Episode 13: How Your Body Image Impacts Your Children with Hillary McBride appeared first on Balance365 .…
Connor Beaton is the founder of ManTalks, an international organization focused on men’s health, wellness,success, and fulfillment. Connor is also a speaker, podcast host, facilitator, and coach working with men and women from all over the world. While Connor is the man behind the uber popular ManTalks podcast, the information Connor shares on both his […] The post Episode 12: Talking to Your Partner About Your Body & Health with Connor Beaton appeared first on Balance365 .…
1 Episode 11: Fashion That Suits Your Life & Body With Andrea Cameron 1:04:49
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1:04:49The fashion industry is full of do’s, don’ts, trends, and rules but style coach, Andrea Cameron doesn’t buy into them. Andrea, the founder of Fashion Your Life, styling consulting firm, believes that everyone has a unique inner beauty, and an outward facing image and combining those two elements allows women to show up in life […] The post Episode 11: Fashion That Suits Your Life & Body with Andrea Cameron appeared first on Balance365 .…
1 Episode 10: Moving & Managing Pain In Pregnancy With Haylie Lashta Macintosh 1:18:12
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1:18:12On today’s podcast we’re talking to pelvic floor extraordinaire, Haylie Lashta Macintosh! Haylie is a certified pelvic floor physiotherapist and an enormous community advocate for pelvic health. In this episode of Healthy Habits Happy Mom’s Radio, Annie, Jennifer, and Haylie dive into how women can care for their bodies during pregnancy, manage pain and discomfort […] The post Episode 10: Moving & Managing Pain in Pregnancy with Haylie Lashta Macintosh appeared first on Balance365 .…
1 Episode 9: Two Sisters, Two Bodies: Growing Up Together In A Body Obsessed World 1:13:06
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1:13:06Co-founder of Healthy Habits Happy Moms, Jennifer and her younger sister, Janelle are only two years apart in age, grew up in the same house, with the same set of parents yet had very different body types. In this episode, Jennifer, Janelle, and Annie discuss what it was like growing up as siblings with two […] The post Episode 9: Two Sisters, Two Bodies: Growing up Together in a Body Obsessed World appeared first on Balance365 .…
1 Episode 8: Amanda Thebe On How To Navigate The Stages Of Menopause With Confidence 1:06:46
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1:06:46Personal trainer, Amanda Thebe of Fit n’ Chips has over 20 years of experience working with women but it wasn’t until she personally experienced the early stages of menopause in her mid 40’s that she realized the impact menopause would have on her life. On this episode of Healthy Habits Happy Moms radio, Annie and […] The post Episode 8: Amanda Thebe on How to Navigate the Stages of Menopause with Confidence appeared first on Balance365 .…
1 Episode 7: What Is Fatphobia & How It Hurts Women At Every Size With Bethany Bellingham 1:26:23
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1:26:23The word “fat” can be used as a noun, adjective, or a verb and can be seen and heard in a variety of contexts but so often there are negative stigmas, myths, and cultural bias attached to the word fat. On today’s episode with fat and body positive advocate, Bethany Bellingham we discuss the implications […] The post Episode 7: What is Fatphobia & How it Hurts Women at Every Size with Bethany Bellingham appeared first on Balance365 .…
Keeping your living space clean can feel like a never ending task that requires constant copious amounts of energy. And when it comes to cleaning, many approach it like they do their wellness- they’re either cleaning all the things or none at all. Becky the home keeping expert from Clean Mama joins Jen and Annie […] The post Episode 6: Bringing Balance to Cleaning with the Clean Mama appeared first on Balance365 .…
In today’s supermom culture, how do you get past the unhappiness of feeling like a failure when compared to the lives of your friends on social media? Two of the Healthy Habits Happy Moms and Balance365 co-founders Annie Brees and Jennifer Campbell talk about how damaging it is to our mental health when we try […] The post Episode 5: The Myth of Doing It All appeared first on Balance365 .…
1 Episode 2: The JAL Story – How Balance365 Was Founded 1:06:58
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