#413 Life Balance Doesn't Exist

Anxiety to Confidence - The Personal Development Unplugged Podcast

Life Balance Doesn't Exist It's not a Thing and you don't want it Embracing Harmony Over Balance

In this longer episode, we dive deep into the myth of life balance and why striving for it might be holding you back. Paul Clough passionately argues that life shouldn't be a flat line of balance but a harmonious flow of ups and downs, much like a jazz band. This episode is a wake-up call to embrace the dynamic nature of life, leaning in and out as needed to create a truly fulfilling existence.

We'll explore:

• Why the concept of life balance is flawed and often leads to a mundane existence.

• The importance of setting intentions and understanding your core values.

• How to lean into different aspects of your life harmoniously, just like the members of a jazz band.

You'll learn:

• How to identify and resolve conflicts between your values to achieve a harmonious life.

• Practical steps to lean in and out of different life areas without losing sight of what's important.

• Why communication and setting clear intentions are key to living a fulfilling life.

By the end of this episode, you'll be inspired to rethink the way you approach life, focusing on harmony rather than balance. Ready to embrace the ups and downs?

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Shine brightly

Paul

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And the transcript WARNING if you're a lover of the written word this may make you frustrated, or angry - you have been warned - is it an 'ism

This is personal development unplugged with Paul Clough

Hey, here's your heads up to this longer podcast. It's all about throwing away life balance because it's not a bloody thing. And yes, there's some f bombs in it, but hey, have a listen, because it's all about coming back to basics. Because harmony rules, ups and downs, leaning in, leaning out. This is important. Please listen. This is personal development unplugged, with Paul Clough. In simplicity, there is genius. In simplicity, there is genius.

Warning, warning, warning. Hey, just a quick warning to you. There's a few f bombs in this one, so hopefully that doesn't offend you. It's just me getting excited and showing a bit more of me maybe.

Okay, hey, we're back, we're back and, well, striving for life balance, maybe people call it, I don't know, work life balance. Now, the thing is, do you really want to strive for balance? Do you really want to strive for a work life balance? Well, the word is fuck. No, because balance is absolutely. Well, think about it. It's just flat, isn't it? It's not up, it's not down, it is bloody horizontal. And to me it just doesn't work. Imagine this. Imagine this, living your life with no ups or downs. Imagine it now, think, just for the moment, a whole life, not a little bit of a life, but a whole life living with no ups or downs. It would be so boring, wouldn't it? So boring. To me. In my weird, weird mind, it looks like, well, I'm dead, you know, because you hear beep, beep and that little thing going up and down. But bz or a beep, a straight line death, dead. Imagine this again, another imagination thing. Imagine. And, don't think about it too much, but imagine being on your deathbed, the last breath you're about to take. And you think to yourself, when you've strove and strived and had this life of balance, that flat line, and you think, oh, what did I do in life? And, you know what answer you'll come up with? Fuck all. I just existed. Now, would you wish that on yourself? Would you wish that on a child, a friend, anybody? Absolutely no. So what I want for you is something different. If it's not a balanced life, then what? Got some more imagination for you? More imagination? Think of this. Imagine. Imagine you're watching, just for a moment, a, ah, jazz band. And if you've never seen a jazz band, imagine a jazz band, because it doesn't matter. And they're all playing at the same time and they're all playing at the same volume. No, they wouldn't, would they? They wouldn't do that. They don't do that because it would be an absolute mess. In fact it would be booze m a line of noise, of balance. But they don't do that because a jazz band would be. Maybe the singer would just for the moment take the front stage. And then as they sing for a little bit, then they step back and maybe that piano, the pianist or pianist, that's a better word, Paula starts to play and he becomes a spotlight. And as he's playing, suddenly the guitarist comes to the fore and that pianist just disappears. And the guitarist comes in and plays that wonderful jazz. And then maybe the trumpet player or saxophonist, I think it's a word, just eases themselves into the front. And then maybe the drummer comes in then. Well, who knows? You see, even that's not the way, is it? It's sort of the way. Because they don't just come in one after the other after the other. They jamdeze the lead is natural. And why and how it's called harmony. They are playing in perfect. Well, not perfect because it's just jamming harmony, but they're creating the ups and the downs, the crescendos, the softness, the quietness, the fast, the slow. And each one creates more harmony. And it's exciting and it's relaxing. It's a bit of everything, isn't it? That's what it is.

How do we get harmony then, Paul? How do we become harmonious

So let's go back to life. Our life, your life, my life. How do we get this harmony then, Paul? That's what you're saying, aren't you? You come up with all this stuff. You're great at that. And I am. I wouldn't say great at that. But I do come up with this stuff. But I also think of the answers, if I can, my answers. Because I never leave you hanging. There's nothing to get later. It's right now. So how do we get harmony? How do we become harmonious? I love that word. Harmonious. Well, there's a golden rule. A golden bloody rule. First of all, what is that golden rule? Think about it. Think for the moment. If you've been here for a little while, you may just get a little inkling. But if you haven't, it doesn't matter. Because the first thing ever, ever, ever we should do with anything we're ever going to do is set our intention, understand our values. So we set our intention and we begin to understand what's important to us. Because when you know what's important to you. You'll set your intention and choose what you're going to do, what you expect to have happen, how you want to live, what you want to achieve in your life. Now, some people might call that personal development, like personal development unplugged, self improvement. And we talked about it before. It means leaning in. Well, I've talked about it, on other platforms, I think about leaning in, taking actions towards those goals, towards those dreams which proposes or presupposes, I guess you have to lean away from other things, other things in your life, because if you're leaning in, you can't, lean into everything. So you lean in just like those lead singers, and that's it. You just put all your effort, but you put a majority, the higher percentage of your effort into that particular thing that really is important right now that's going to create this life of harmony. And something has to take a little backseat, doesn't it? Just for the moment. So what do we do when we lean in? You see, it's how you lean in and how you lean out harmoniously. Here's an example. You know, some people have great family values. Family is a real high value in one section of their life, but on the other section of their life, work is important because work might give you that stimulus, but it also supports the family. Now, life doesn't let you work equally on your family life and work equally on your work life. Your career life doesn't happen, does it? Because there are times when you have to put your family on the back seat just a little bit so you can lean into your success at work. Maybe you're an entrepreneur and there's something important that you have to really lean into, put your effort into and you lean in and your family just takes that little bit of a backseat. But the thing is, this is where the harmony comes into or comes, comes into effect, because then we lean back out and we lean back into the family because we've put our efforts into that important part of work, maybe. And now we're putting our, we're replenishing, as it were, I guess, our, family. And that's where the harmony comes in, where the spotlight goes. You see, we've all seen the examples of people when they don't have that harmony. It's sort of like a, sort of a flat line thing where they put all their efforts into work, making everything such as a success, I'll say that, clearly a success. And they push and they push and they push 25 hours a day, 8 hours a week, and the family doesn't take a backseat. Disappears, isn't it? And it goes on too long and it becomes disharmonious. And the marriage breaks up, or the partnership breaks up, the family break up because it's not in harmony anymore. And the thing is, because of that, the work, the stress of that family breaking up suddenly affects the work. So what do we do? Well, we go back to that bloody golden rule again, don't we? Before you get there, or if you find it's starting to happen to you, think of the golden rule, what's important to me. And you've got to remember both. Then if there's a conflict, because that's what it would be. It would be a conflict, and harmoniously. And harmony will deal with that conflict. Because not doing either. If you do that flat line and don't put enough, effort into the one and then come back to the other, both just disappear, don't they? Because you're not putting. You wouldn't be satisfied either. So what's important to you, set your intention to what you want to do, but be mindful that that other part of your life is important too. And you see, that's why you're here, I think. Certainly that's why I'm here. Trying to.

Paul wants you to think about how to live your life harmoniously

Well, a lot of this stuff is going through my own personal junk, as it were. Me thinking about the things that I'm going to try to strive to get better at the harmony in this particular instance of my life. And I'm thinking out loud, as it were. and hopefully that me sharing some of my concerns, my thoughts, my action plans will resonate with you. Because that's why we're here, isn't it? Because we want to find that best version of ourselves. I've got a great thing coming up about that in the next couple, of, episodes, about finding that best version of yourself. But to learn processes, processes to be able to deal with those stresses and strains of those conflicts, ways to. Well, a way to live our life harmoniously. But dealing with the anxieties, maybe the fears, the stresses, getting those goals, getting those values in order, reducing conflict. Because once that conflict disappears, life becomes fucking good. In fact, it becomes fucking great. And that's what I believe, what we're striving for, isn't it? Apologies for all that f bombs and things like that. But it just. Sometimes I. You know, I've just said, sometimes, sod it. If that's the way I feel, that's the way I'm going to express myself. And hopefully that's okay. I'll give you a warning before. But hey, I'd just love you to think about that. And if there's something somewhere in that that you go, oh, great, Paul, you know, you've come up with, I'll just set your intention, get your values, but I don't understand how to, nearly swore again, how to do that. Then let me bloody know. Send me that little email. Feedbackersonaldevelopmentunplugged.com. you know you're going to be anonymous anyway. Not anonymous on the email, hopefully, but I'd like to reply to you to discuss that with you, maybe, but to be able to create even more, because I'm sure what you give me as a question would affect me anyway. So I'll go into it. We'll create another episode with specifics then, because I know not only will it help you, but it will help the other listener, although the other three, because we said, we've got four now, we've, we've doubled. So please do that. Because I know sometimes when I go through 20 or 30 minutes or so, not going to hit everything, but it's enough, I think, to get you to think, am I living my life at, fucking balance, straight line, or am I living my life in conflict, which is leaning in too much and forgetting about leaning back into the other things have I lost sight of my values? Are my values in conflict with each other? Because that's where a lot of the issues come from in life, when our values, the things that are important to us, clash. I want to do this, but I want to do that. But I also want to do this. Oh, I want to do that. Setting goals and dreams that we can create, not just put them out there and hope and wish, actually create them in our life. Because as I've told you before, I want to support you in your dreams. I want to support you to get them. I want to support you through those naysayers who, you know, try to throw stones at your bloody dreams, because we're going to not leave them behind. We're going to encourage them to follow us when the time's right, when they are in the right place, they can see us, see you as an example of what can be done. So have a little think. Where am I straight m lining? Where am I? My conflicts? Where are my values? A little bit askew? Maybe not aligned, because once they're aligned, that's when leaning in and leaning out becomes easy. Because you're doing it for the right reasons, but you're doing it at the right level. Not too much in, not too much out, or making sure you can mitigate. You know, it's. Communication to sometimes is sometimes just the key. Being able to explain why and what you're doing and ask for advice. You know, if I get too mad, if I'm leaning in too much, let me know. Things like that. Little simple communication can be the beauty, the golden nugget that actually stops you and goes, hey, maybe you just got to reassess things. And that's where I'm here to help. So please do ask me, please share this, this episode. I ask you every time to share it. If you would share it to one person, if you could just do that, share to one person, maybe get them to subscribe. Because you've subscribed, you've pressed that button, maybe get them to subscribe so we can build this community. That would be awesome. Anyway, it's enough of me, enough of my f bombs, and I'm gonna have a little lay down and see and think, what does a harmonious life look like? What would it feel like being able to lean in and lean out and be successful in life? So if I was to take my last breath, sitting there on, my deathbed, and I thought to myself, what m have I done? What have I done in my life? I'd be able to say, fuck, I've done a lot. I've made a difference. That's all I wanted to do. There you go. Anyways, time to fly. Enjoy. See you next time. Bye, Warren. You are now leaving the unplugged mind of Paul Clough. It's time to fly on your own. Be brave, my friend. Personal development unplugged.

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