Loving the Avoidant

The Transformation Network™

What does it mean to love someone who cannot stay? To pour yourself into the silence of unanswered notes, unread poems, dangling carrots of “thinking of you,” and calls that exit before they land? In this episode, I step into the rawness of loving the avoidant — the man who hides behind polished confidence, the boy inside who is terrified of conflict, shame, and intimacy.
But this is not only about the other. This is about the avoidant within us... within me. Attachment styles reflect our own unhealed places. The skin-tightening recoil before visiting my mother, the restless feet of the next thrill, the ways I disappear when love gets too close. I tell stories of my own avoidance, my mother’s desperation, my wife’s piercing callouts, and the moments where acting, sex, and love all meet in the same vulnerability hangover.
We'll wander through attachment styles — wave, island, anchor — without clinical jargon, but through lived experience. And what it means to love anyway, to risk love as something that costs, something that undresses us down to bone, to shame, to fire, to Eros itself.