The Laws of Connection with David Robson

The Evolving Leader

In this episode of The Evolving Leader podcast, co-hosts Jean Gomes and Scott Allender welcome back former guest science writer David Robson. David is an award-winning science writer specialising in the extremes of the human brain, body and behaviour. He has worked as editor of New Scientist and BBC Future, and his writing has been published in The Guardian, the Observer, the Washington Post and Atlantic and in 2022 was a finalist for the Best British Science Journalist of the year award. He has written three books including The Intelligence Trap (2019), The Expectation Effect (2022) for which he won a British Psychological Society Book Award and his latest book The Laws of Connection (2024).

During this conversation David shares the importance of social connection for physical health and well-being. He explores the concept of the liking gap, where people underestimate how much others like them, and the physiological effects of loneliness. This highlights the need for prioritizing social connection and provides practical strategies for building and deepening relationships.

Referenced during this episode:
The Laws of Connection: 13 Social Strategies That Will Transform Your Life
David Robson’s website

Other reading from Jean Gomes and Scott Allender:
Leading In A Non-Linear World (J Gomes, 2023
The Enneagram of Emotional Intelligence (S Allender, 2023)
Social:
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YouTube @evolvingleader

The Evolving Leader is researched, written and presented by Jean Gomes and Scott Allender with production by Phil Kerby. It is an Outside production.

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1. Introduction (00:00:00)

2. What was your motivation for writing your latest book ‘The Laws of Connection’? (00:05:36)

3. What is the Liking Gap and how can it help us? (00:07:10)

4. You describe relationships as one of life’s most fundamental requirements. (00:11:20)

5. How we can use the idea of shared reality and interbrain coupling to help us think about relationships? (00:16:40)

6. What are the implications in terms of trying to create more cohesion within organisations or teams? (00:19:54)

7. What is egocentric thinking? (00:23:12)

8. Since writing the book, do you think about your relationships differently? (00:27:49)

9. Do lonely people always know they are lonely? (00:32:23)

10. What are your thoughts on constructive disagreement and its role in keeping us healthy? (00:34:29)

11. Can asking the question ‘Why do you think the way you do’ be confronting? (00:38:52)

12. Do people think they are more naturally curious than they are? (00:42:25)

13. Why are ‘Healing bad feelings’ and ‘Finding forgiveness’ so important? (00:47:37)

14. As a leader if you had to choose just one thing to help you build more connection in the world, what would it be? (00:53:17)