119. The Truth is a Lie with Sally Lotz

FINE is a 4-Letter Word

Imagine, for a moment, being a child and knowing something was wrong, but being too young to understand.

Now picture yourself in a cult without knowing the word for it.

That’s what happened to Sally Lotz.

Until she was four years old, things seemed normal. Then her parents divorced, her dad left the picture as he served overseas in the military, and her mother took Sally and her siblings to a new city.

Suddenly, everything changed.

Instead of having freedom to explore, now all her decisions were made for her. How she dressed for school and which classmates she was allowed to interact with (meaning none). Her role was to do only what others told her to do.

Sally knew something wasn’t right. One of the first clues came when she buried a butterfly she believed was dead, and then unburied the soil later and found the butterfly was gone. If there was no heaven, as Sally was told by the cult, where did the dead butterfly go?

Her new stepfather abused her in every horrible way imaginable. And her mother accused her of being a “bad influence” moments after her stepdad kicked their cat across the room. Sally was made to feel that being sexually molested by him was her own fault. On top of that, she was told there was no way to prove it even happened because she didn’t have two witnesses to back her claims.

Ironically, the people who caught Sally making out with her high school boyfriend didn’t need two witnesses. All it took was their word, and Sally found herself facing a perverted, sexually charged interrogation by multiple adult men.

Sally soon left the cult and joined her father who was now in San Diego, where she went straight from having to follow rules for everything to no rules at all. She finished school, then tried college, but it didn’t work out.

She went back to what felt familiar and found a man to take care of her. They married when she was only 20 and had three children.

Despite all that had happened up until then, Sally’s life seemed to be improving and everything seemed fine.

But Fine is a 4-letter word.

She found that out when her husband joined a cult similar to the one she’d been raised in, and all the same rules suddenly came back into play. She divorced him. But then her mother, who had not left the cult, came to stay with her.

In a moment, when you meet Sally, you’ll join her on a journey down a winding road with double-backs and wrong turns as she comes to cope with two traumas – the trauma of an abusive home and religious trauma. These two things have fueled her career as an author, writing coach, and mentor.

Her fourth book, The Truth is a Lie, is a young adult novel based on her life growing up in a cult and aims to help others understand and gain strength.

Sally’s hype song is "Girl on Fire” by Alicia Keys.

Resources:

• Sally Lotz’s website: https://www.sallylotz.com/
• LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/sallyjlotz/
• Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/YourPathToWriting/
• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/sallyjlotz
• Link to Episode 49, Setting Her Own Course with Sabrina Victoria: https://zenrabbit.com/podcast/setting-her-own-course/

Invitation from Lori:

Like Sally, you may be so immersed in your situation that you can’t possibly see a way out. How do you take a step back when you don’t know which way to turn?

At some level, you know you need to assess things from a new vantage point, but how?

The first step is to go to https://zenrabbit.com right now and download the 5 Easy Ways to Start Living The Sabbatical Life guide.

Once you read it, you’ll be able to understand and embrace things that, up until now, have not made sense to you. It’s only 7 pages, so it won’t take you long to get through. And the five tactics are pretty simple, but once you follow even ONE of them, you’re in for a profound change.

When you’re ready to say F*ck Being Fine, then this guide is the place to start. It’s time to blaze a new trail and chart a new course!