The Practice of Love with special guest Lair Torrent, LMFT

MIDDLE AGEish

Welcome to the Middle Age(ish) Podcast, hosted by Ashley Bedosky, Lisa Kelly, Dr. Pam Wright, and Trisha Kennedy Roman. In this episode, we talk with relationship expert Lair Torrent, LMFT.

Wow! This episode is a must listen for anyone of any age who has or will have a relationship with another individual! Seriously, we learned so much about relationships and communication with others in our short time with Lair.

Lair has a unique approach to therapy and counseling, combining Eastern based mindfulness practices and western clinical models to create a powerful approach to healing. We found the points he made about how we communicate with our partners fascinating and very useful for any relationship at any stage.

When it comes to trying to win an argument, we have all probably been guilty of wanting to be right and “win” the fight. Lair made a very good point that if one wins the fight and the other loses, nobody really wins.

“Competition really can't live in love. If you really love this person, why would you want them to lose anything?” –Lair Torrent, LMFT

When it comes to being middle age(ish) and older, we all know our bodies change. We loved Lair’s approach to keeping the physical attraction alive in any stage of life. He talked about being mindful and loving in the narrative we form in our thoughts about our partner with regards to their attractiveness.

“Gravity's going to happen, age is starting to happen. We want to be able to look upon our partners with kindness and compassion, empathy, and understanding. We want to be graceful within those thoughts.”—Lair Torrent, LMFT

Lair really pointed out how our inner self, our experiences as a child, and our experiences throughout life can really play a part in how we communicate in a relationship. Many times, we don’t realize exactly “who” is showing up or what we are truly fighting about. He talked about how unconsciously, we bring about parts of us that have been wounded or unfulfilled in the past. His approach is to help us to discover these parts to better understand our communication.

Let me tell you that all of the Middle Age(ish) hosts had Lair’s book ordered right after the interview. Whether you want to keep a healthy relationship healthy, work on a struggling relationship, or want to prepare for future relationships, we think his approach is so incredibly helpful!
Find Lair Torrent, LMFT on
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Book: The Practice of Love available on Amazon
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