I thought my vagina was broken - Stephanie

Good Girls Talk About Sex

Stephanie shares how childhood shame about feeling good in her body led to an eating disorder. She talks about how the eating disorder affected her ability to relate with sexual partners, including her now-husband. Healing the eating disorder has allowed her to begin relating in a new way with her body and her husband.

Bookmark moments:

2:37 - Stephanie shares her first memory of sexual play at age 5 or 6, accidentally discovering that rubbing her genitals felt good. The adults around her shamed her, leading her to believe masturbation was a terrible secret.

8:20 - Shame compounds to feeling that her vagina is broken.

11:45 - Stephanie describes a “good girl” upbringing, and being behind her peers in sexual experimentation.

14:55 - An eating disorder manifests in her life.

19:57 - What trauma, even/especially when we don’t label it as such, can look like.

24:31 - Stephanie hits a rock bottom with her eating disorder in college, and rebounds into a new willingness to try sex finally.

28:53 - She meets her husband, who makes her feel safe enough to begin to be present in her body during sex. She experiences her first real pleasure.

35:55 - Stephanie elaborates the myriad ways her eating disorder impacts their sexual relationship.

44:19 - PJ Parties for Grownups!

47:06 - While the sex is great in her marriage, Stephanie questions the kissing, and she and Leah go on a deep-dive about embodiment.

The Lowdown (54:08)

Have you ever felt a sexual urge that confused you?

The Patreon extras for this episode are:

This week at Patreon we have an extra THIRTY MINUTES of conversation with Stephanie!

She talks about how food stood in as a replacement for physical touch earlier in her life, and how having kids has changed her relationship with her body and her sexuality. And also how having kids pushed her to address her eating disorder in a new way. And, of course, there’s the extended Lowdown Q&A.

As of July 2020, all Good Girls Talk About Sex audio extras are now FREE! They can be accessed at www.patreon.com/goodgirlstalkaboutsex.

I've done this because not everyone has the means to pay for access, and I know this additional material can be deeply important for some listeners. But creating this show isn't free, so if you’d like to support the work I do, I am grateful for your contributions at www.patreon.com/goodgirlstalkaboutsex.

BE PART OF THE SHOW:

Rate this pod: Leave a rating and review at www.ratethispodcast.com/goodgirls

Have a questions or comment - Leave a voicemail for Leah at 720-GOOD-SEX (720-466-3739) - this is a voicemail-only line, so I promise you won't have to talk to someone in person!

Be a guest on the show - I'd love to talk with you! Fill out the form at www.leahcarey.com/guest

FOLLOW LEAH:

Instagram - www.instagram.com/goodgirlstalk Private Facebook Group - www.facebook.com/groups/goodgirlstalk YouTube - www.youtube.com/goodgirlstalk Leah's website - www.leahcarey.com Podcast website - www.goodgirlstalk.com

WORK WITH LEAH:

Learn about coaching with Leah - www.leahcarey.com/coaching

Join a PJ Party for Grown Ups - www.leahcarey.com/pjparty

EPISODE CREDITS:

Host / Producer – Leah Carey (email) Audio Editor – Gretchen Kilby Administrative Support - Lara O'Connor, Maria Franco

Transcript creation – Jan Acielo Music – Nazar Rybak