ESSAY October 2024 - Seeing Myself in the Mirror - Joa K., Porvoo, Finland

ESSAY Magazine (An International Journal of Sexaholics Anonymous)

Before getting sober, I was not a book person. In fact, I had never read a book cover-to-cover. I almost finished one book in school because it took me into a fantasy world, away from reality. Most reading for me, though, was distressing and pointless.

My religious tradition encouraged me to read, study, and meditate. I sometimes read scripture so as not to incur disapproval or feel left out, but I missed the most important part of reading: applying its principles. I saw reading only as a box to check off.