#263 | Amanda's Good Birth Despite Abandonment, Harassment and Threats

Down to Birth

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Amanda Holden was planning a home birth with her first baby, having hired a midwife she loved. When she reached 42 weeks, her midwife terminated her care abruptly, due to Colorado state law prohibiting midwives from attending late-term home births. With a heavy heart but optimistic mindset, Amanda and her husband made the decision to birth in a hospital rather than have an unattended home birth. Using the education she had under her belt by that point, Amanda rallied herself into believing her hospital birth would go mostly according to her plan of a natural, undisturbed birth. Once in labor, she settled into her hospital bed with a pink satin eye mask over her eyes, having no idea what she was about to endure: being relentlessly badgered, labeled, patronized, and threatened throughout her labor. She declined continuous monitoring and vaginal exams and the doctors retaliated by overwhelming her with a roomful of strangers watching her laboring naked in the tub, while "reporting" her over the phone in her presence. The doctor even threatened that Amanda's baby would likely need to be airlifted on life support to another hospital as soon as she was born, and that Amanda wouldn't be able to go with her baby. Meanwhile, there was no legitimate reason to suspect the baby would need life support. At one point, the doctor even brought in a male security guard into Amanda's birth space, claiming she (the doctor) didn't feel "safe" around Amanda's husband, who simply advocated for Amanda through the birth. When it was finally time to give birth, Amanda was tricked into lying down and then forcefully put on her back against her will. She says she gave birth "feeling hated" by everyone in the room, and one nurse privately told Amanda's mother she had seen meth patients in labor treated with more respect than Amanda. When Amanda gave birth vaginally to her girl, she felt elated, and noticed every medical staff in the room stared at her and her baby with utterly joyless expressions, after all that Amanda had achieved. Amanda and her husband have been doing somatic healing to process their experience, but she is absolutely clear that the birth itself caused her no distress or discomfort. Despite all drama, Amanda's story is ultimately inspiring because of her and her husband's resolve not to succumb under truly extraordinary pressure.
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