Ep: 128: How to Be Secure & Less Anxious In Relationships; Julie Menanno

Diary of An Empath by Keresse Thompson, LCSW

In this conversation, Julie Menanno, a licensed therapist and author of the book Secure Love, discusses the importance of secure attachment in relationships. She explains the mission of teaching people how to be emotionally supportive to each other and the need for specific skills to achieve emotional support. The conversation explores common issues in couples, the different attachment styles, and the impact of attachment styles on the sex life of individuals. Julie provides insights on how to overcome conflicts and change patterns in relationships, emphasizing the importance of communication and education on sex. In this conversation, Keresse Thompson, LCSW, interviews Julie Menanno about her book 'Secure Love' and discusses how to express needs in a relationship and the importance of communication. Julie shares insights on how to approach difficult conversations with a partner, emphasizing the need to ground oneself and understand the fears and concerns of both individuals. She suggests leading with empathy and understanding, acknowledging that there may be valid reasons for a partner's resistance or withdrawal. Julie also highlights the importance of ongoing communication and seeking professional help if needed. Overall, the conversation emphasizes the significance of open and honest communication in building a secure and fulfilling relationship.

Takeaways

Secure attachment is essential for healthy relationships and involves being emotionally supportive to each other.

Common issues in couples include negative communication cycles and a lack of emotional safety.

Understanding attachment styles, including anxious, avoidant, and disorganized attachment, can help individuals navigate their relationships.

Creating secure attachment requires self-regulation, self-connection, and learning to give and receive emotional support.

Attachment styles can significantly impact the sex life of individuals, and open communication and education on sex are crucial for a fulfilling sexual relationship. Ground yourself before approaching difficult conversations with your partner.

Lead with empathy and understanding, acknowledging your partner's perspective.

Initiate ongoing communication and create a safe space for discussing relationship issues.

Seek professional help if needed to address persistent challenges.

Chapters

00:00Introduction and Background

03:18Mission and Focus of Secure Attachment

05:13Common Issues in Couples

08:12Understanding Attachment Styles

11:35Disorganized Attachment

18:54Creating Secure Attachment

25:28Impact of Attachment Styles on Sex Life

28:29Overcoming Conflicts and Changing Patterns

34:05Importance of Communication and Education on Sex

34:37Using Scripts to Improve Communication

34:50Expressing Needs in a Relationship

40:33The Importance of Communication

42:12Writing 'Secure Love' and Helping Couples

To Purchase “Secure Love”

https://www.amazon.com/Secure-Love-Create-Relationship-Lifetime/dp/1668012863

To get in touch with Julie or inquire about 1:1 Services:

https://www.thesecurerelationship.com/

To follow Julie: https://www.instagram.com/thesecurerelationship

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