How to Practice Self-Compassion with Enneagram Types 5-9

Authentic Men's Group podcast

Using Self-Compassion With The Enneagram (Part 2) Last time, we explored Enneagram types One through Four—seeing how each carries its own beauty, struggle, and path toward compassion. Today, we pick up where we left off. So often, we hear messages about what we should fix or change. But the real invitation of the Enneagram is to see the truth of how we’re wired and to treat that truth with kindness. It’s not about boxing you in—it’s about showing you the patterns you’ve been living out, and then inviting you back home to your truest self. As Ian Morgan Cron reminds us, “The Enneagram doesn’t tell you who you are; it tells you who you think you have to be.” That’s the gift—it reveals the mask we’ve learned to wear, and then it helps us lay it down. In this episode, we’re continuing our walk through the remaining Enneagram types, not to critique but to celebrate. To honor. To offer compassion to the parts of ourselves we often overlook. And once again, we’re joined by AMG coach and life coach Stephen Nichols, who has guided countless men in this very work. TYPE 5 – THE INVESTIGATOR

• Ian Cron describes Fives as the wise men—those who see the world from a thoughtful distance, cutting through noise with insight.

• You have a brilliant, thoughtful mind that sees what others miss.

• Your ability to observe, analyze, and understand is a deep well of insight.

• You’re naturally drawn to complex ideas, systems, and inner landscapes most people overlook.

• Your curiosity runs deep, and your insights are often ahead of their time.

• You bring calm clarity to chaos, offering wisdom without needing the spotlight.

• Though you may prefer solitude, your presence carries quiet weight and depth.

• Self-compassion reminds you that you don’t have to have all the answers to belong—your presence, your wisdom, and your way of seeing the world already matter.

Self-compassion for Type 5 sounds like:

• “My curiosity is a gift. I don’t need to know everything to be whole.”

• “I offer wisdom, and I also deserve connection.”

• “It’s okay to not have all the answers right now.”

• “My presence is enough—I don’t need to over-prepare.”

• “Opening up is a strength, not a liability.”

You make space for insight and truth. Your presence invites calm and clarity.

TYPE 6 – THE LOYALIST

• Your loyalty and courage are unmatched—you stand by your people through thick and thin.

• You think through every angle with care, always scanning for how to keep others safe and supported.

• Your fierce sense of responsibility drives you to prepare, protect, and prevent harm.

• You often see potential problems before they happen, and your questions strengthen decisions and relationships.

• Suzanne Stabile calls Sixes the guardians of community—reliable, grounded, and deeply attuned to group wellbeing.

• You hold steady when others panic, anchoring people with your presence and conviction.

• Your love shows up not in loud declarations, but in quiet vigilance and fierce, faithful commitment.

• When you extend that same loyalty inward, you become a source of wisdom and grounded courage—not just for others, but for yourself.

Self-compassion for Type 6 sounds like:

• “My ability to anticipate is protective, not paranoid.”

• “I trust myself to navigate uncertainty.”

• “Uncertainty is uncomfortable, but I can handle it.”

• “I trust myself to navigate what comes.”

• “Courage isn’t the absence of fear—it’s standing with myself in the fear.”

You bring steadiness, humility, and fierce commitment wherever you go.

TYPE 7 – THE ENTHUSIAST

• You see the possibility in everything and bring life to the spaces you enter.

• Your joy is contagious, and your energy lights up the room.

• You’re often the one who finds silver linings, who lightens tension with humor, and reminds others to savor life.

• You have a natural gift for storytelling, optimism, and enthusiasm that draws people in and lifts spirits.

• Ian Cron reminds us that Sevens teach us not to take life for granted—but to taste, savor, and adventure.

• Your soul is wired for wonder, and beneath your lightness is a deep, brave heart.

• When you stay present in discomfort, you show true courage—not escape, but engagement.

• Self-compassion deepens your spark. You discover that real freedom comes from living fully—joy and sorrow alike.

Self-compassion for Type 7 sounds like:

• “My zest for life is sacred. I can experience joy and still make space for depth.”

• “I don’t need to escape. This moment is enough.”

• “I can sit with hard feelings—they won’t break me.”

• “Slowing down helps me find deeper joy.”

You remind others that life is worth living fully, and that pain doesn’t cancel out joy—it enriches it.

TYPE 8 – THE CHALLENGER

• You are bold, strong, and protective—you step in when others shrink back.

• You fight for what matters and speak truth with intensity and clarity.

• Your presence commands attention—not for ego, but because people feel your deep commitment to what’s right.

• You instinctively protect the vulnerable and challenge injustice wherever it appears.

• Suzanne Stabile calls Eights the protectors and justice-bearers—often misunderstood, but driven by love and loyalty.

• Beneath your strength is a tender heart that longs for honesty, trust, and connection.

• When you let yourself soften and be known, your power doesn’t weaken—it becomes magnetic, trustworthy, and whole.

• Self-compassion allows your heart to breathe so your strength can serve others without burning you out.

Self-compassion for Type 8 sounds like:

• “My strength includes tenderness.”

• “I can lead with power and still stay soft-hearted.”

• “Letting others in doesn’t make me weak.”

• “Real strength includes openness.”

• “I can be protective and still allow myself to feel.”

You give others courage just by being who you are. You model strength that protects and includes.

TYPE 9 – THE PEACEMAKER

• You have a calming presence that brings ease and steadiness to those around you.

• You instinctively see all sides and create harmony in spaces that feel divided.

• You are a steady presence in a loud, chaotic world—helping others breathe easier just by being near.

• You create room for others without needing the spotlight, offering quiet empathy and deep listening.

• Your non-reactivity and gentleness give others permission to pause, reflect, and reconnect.

• Ian Cron says Nines are the mediators of the soul—deeply attuned to what brings people together.

• Though you may downplay your impact, your quiet strength and inclusive spirit often hold entire communities together.

• Self-compassion invites you to include yourself in the peace you offer others. Your voice matters. Your presence is not just peaceful—it’s powerful.

Self-compassion for Type 9 sounds like:

• “My presence brings peace, and my voice matters too.”

• “I can honor others and still choose myself.”

• “My voice matters.”

• “I don’t have to disappear to keep the peace.”

• “Choosing myself isn’t selfish—it’s necessary.”

You teach us how to slow down, to listen, and to find unity in difference.

CLOSING

No matter where you land on the Enneagram, you bring something good and true into the world. You don’t need to change who you are—you need to honor it. Self-compassion is how you do that. It’s not about self-indulgence. It’s about self-acceptance.

The Enneagram isn’t a problem to fix. It’s a mirror that shows your natural design—and the gifts you carry. As Stabile reminds us, the goal isn’t to be better than your number—it’s to be a healthier version of the one you already are.

So take this with you: You are already enough. Not someday. Not when you get it right. Now.

We’ll drop a free link to the AMG Assessment in the notes so you can find out your type. Bring what resonated into your next AMG group, or share it with a friend who needs to hear it.

You were made to thrive—and the best way to do that is by being fully, authentically you.

Link to take your Enneagram Assessment: Enneagram Assessment