2005-06 Violence Kills Love Spanking, the Fourth Commandment, and the Suppression of Authentic Emotions [interview]

Alice Miller Audio [English]

Interview given by Alice Miller to Borut Petrovic Jesenovec for the magazine ONA (Slovenia) Questions: How did you discover that the only function of ["Thou shalt honor thy father and thy mother"] is in fact manipulation and subordination of the child? You go so far as to state that the fourth commandment causes physical ailments. How would you explain this link? Did it cause physical ailments in your case? Is love, seasoned with 'only' occasional 'educational' spanking, possible? Why is spanking always wrong? Many despicable acts are committed in the name of parental love. How would you define real parental love? You speak of child abuse in our cultures as A Forbidden Issue. Why is this so? What is needed to change this state of affairs? How can we direct hatred, rage and anger at the proper recipient (and not at ourselves or our partners)? One of the basic psychological truths is that persons emotionally deprived in childhood hope all their lives to receive the love denied to them. Why is it so hard to accept that we weren't important to anyone? Many even prefer to commit suicide instead. While we are on the subject, Slovenia is famous for its high percentage of suicides. How would you tackle this problem? How do you think morality and ethics come about? Why does someone become (im)moral? Religious education teaches us to forgive our tormentors. Should we really forgive them? Is it in fact possible to do so? Is compassion for Milosevic or Saddam Hussein acceptable? The fiercest adorers of their parents are those who were the most emotionally deprived by them. There is a very cruel mechanism at work here and it produces a very pessimistic vision of life. Is there hope for the badly wounded? Is there hope for those who don't find a witness? Positive thinking is just as harmful as religious injunctions to forgive and love those who hate us. Should we avoid new age self-help manuals? What are the political consequences of your writing? What is wrong with current psychoanalytic practice? Why were you 'expelled' from the psychological movement? You describe the emotional life of quite a few of the most highly regarded writers of the modern age. Who would you cite as the example of a hero who successfully overcame the traumatic conflict with his/her parents? ------------------------------------------------------------------ Read more about this podcast here: http://howihelpmyself.com/alice-miller-audio-english/ Please send your feedback to: [e-mail] I would love to hear from you! If you like the podcast and it improves your life, consider donating: http://howihelpmyself.com/donate/ Please share this podcast with many people! Attribution Text: http://www.alice-miller.com/interviews_en.php?page=4 Picture: https://www.flickr.com/photos/crazymandi/7632203602/in/photostream/