I felt like I had to sleep with him - Yami

Good Girls Talk About Sex

Yami opens up about a variety of common though not-commonly-talked-about subjects: sexual assault by a family member, and navigating polyamory.

Yami is a 23-year-old, cisgender female who describes herself as bisexual and heteroromantic, in a relationship and exploring opening up with her partner. She describes her body shape as “a few extra pounds.”

Public service announcement: It is not your job to not be assaulted. Especially as a younger person, you shouldn’t even need to know how to not be assaulted.

Term to learn: Compersion is feeling pleasure when your partner is experiencing pleasure.

Bookmark moments:

• 4:54 - Yami remembers being about 6 years old, and exploring with another young girl.
• 7:27 - She shares her timeline of growing up in the Dominican Republic before moving to the US.
• 9:16 - She’s a little obsessed with getting her period, though there’s no sex talk at home; she discovers masturbation on her own, then loses her virginity under pressure.
• 15:30 – Yami’s second sexual experience is also non-consensual; she is raped by an older family member. She withdraws from her friends, and a long period that follows is a blur.
• 29:00 - A couple years later, she is alone in a room with a guy for the first time and is finally able to feel safe. A serious boyfriend after that is able to conquer intimate touch with her, but he is a manipulator and a cheater. She gets an STI.
• 35:57 - After lots of hard experience, her current boyfriend totally pleases her. They have loads of great sex and have been exploring swinging and play partners. They’re now open to exploring polyamorous relationships even further, on an emotional and more dedicated level.
• 42:42 - Yami talks about sexual boundaries with other parties—how they’ve navigated them in the past, and what they might look like around potential future engagements.

The Lowdown (46:41)

• Do you enjoy having your breasts played with?
• Can you orgasm from intercourse alone without additional stimulation?
• Do you prefer the orgasm from masturbating, or from sex with another person?
• What kind of touch do you enjoy most?
• How do you feel about your partner watching porn?

The Patreon extras for this episode are:

• Yami talks more about dealing with chlamydia – getting the diagnosis, the treatment, and the after effects.
• Negotiating boundaries in new sexual situations, and how she and her boyfriend find a third person to play with (when there’s not a pandemic!)
• Extended Lowdown Q&A

ALL audio extras are now FREE for everyone!!!!! They can be accessed at www.patreon.com/goodgirlstalkaboutsex. If you’d like to support the work I do, you can make a monthly contribution at that site.

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Host – Leah Carey (website, Facebook, Instagram, YouTube, email)

Audio Editor – Gretchen Kilby

Music – Nazar Rybak