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- This week, we rank college football powers and would-be powers by potential endorsement deals via each school’s most famous booster! - Spencer is almost positive he knows the difference between NLI and NIL, but that knowledge is definitely not apparent in this episode! - Did you know it’s legal to shoot down hot-air balloons in Kansas on one day …
 
- Previously! On the Shutdown Fullcast! No small amount of time is spent reviewing last week’s episode! - Spencer refuses to bring back Prince! Shame on him! - Some innovative new draft language, measured in food-pounds, is explored
 
- Ryan has a very cool solution for Spencer’s “I owe the internet video of me drinking 300 beers” that Spencer just barrels past - A #TwoAmericas law enforcement story introduces God’s secret archangel, Cajun Damon - A goodish number of wildlife updates - Hey, the Charity Bowl’s over, we have a lot of people to thank and are going to forget at leas…
 
Michigan won the charity bowl, again, and Spencer and Holly bring Randy and Jason Sklar on to discuss important Wolverine matters. Because this is the Fullcast, this turns out to mean “the episode is mostly about Grey’s Anatomy.”
 
- There is no describing this episode. Look, just play it. You’ll get there. - Alternate title was going to be THE TICK WAR EPISODE - The LEAST upsetting voice in this episode is Spencer’s Joe Paterno, if that tells you anything - In a shocking revelation, at least one member of this podcast thinks it used to be “too easy to obtain dynamite in this…
 
When you think about it, we’re all just running downhill for Jesus Second Easter of quarantine, reviewed (bad!) Presidents’ Days of the future, improved Ryan invites the ire of nautical cocaine traffickers worldwide, for business purposes
 
• How much y’all reckon it would cost to just buy a football program outright? • Short on new can’t-miss business ideas this week, but almost positive we’re the first media outlet to suggest militarizing rodeo clowns • Who are you, “officer," to tell us we “cannot” jetski through the Suez Canal • Ryan invents a game that reveals just how easy Spenc…
 
Please welcome Skylab Carl, Tequila Derek, and Judge Catfish Which tiger-affiliated school is the least equipped to handle rapidly moving water? Spencer fights against the strictures of both biology and physics, again Thrill to Ryan’s tale of Florida’s sovereign sinkhole! A robust debate: What is the perfect size of bird to fight?…
 
Imagining the world’s first gig economy coal mine! See beautiful Hispaniola, by crate! Spencer operates the annual coaching carousel quiz and it turns out Wakeyleaks has leaked entirely out of our skulls SOME SORT OF BUTCH JONES WORMHOLE OCCURS
 
- Hey y’all, Les Miles got fired in the middle of this show, and we pivoted about as adeptly as you might expect. - Which American fast food chain serves a CHICKEN SANDWICH AS A SIDE ITEM AT BREAKFAST, but NOT IN AMERICA? - What color y’all reckon Prince Philip’s blood is?
 
You’re probably not going to play professional football, so how should you decide where to attend college? Our academic survey can tell you! The “Which school has the most convenient parking" answers won’t surprise you; the “Which school has the best food" answers definitely will! Also covered: The crucial categories of “waterslide availability" an…
 
Stop asking us if it’s Blood Week every time a ranked team loses, you’ll know when it’s Blood Week, this applies to FCS ball too Holy shit that was an amazingly bloody Blood Week of FCS ball even by our own hemoglobin-happy standards Spencer is trying to get us into F1 Why have none of y’all ever informed us that “international go-karting” was an a…
 
- Hey y’all, it’s the FCS draft episode, where we overcome our current general disdain for sports to pick spring football teams! - Featuring a brief but violent detour into the Boise State-Idaho rivalry! - Our collective safari into perfecting our Maine accents continues? - Never admit what is or isn’t gumbo on the internet. - “Spencer, I have a mo…
 
- It’s our advanced sports analytics episode! How advanced? Advanced past what? Mind your own business! - What are we using our film review skills for? Breaking down that Oklahoma bathroom fight, are you new here? - As a team, we feel pretty confident we could perform a number of basic medical procedures in the field. Listen along to find out which…
 
--Can't sleep, must think about Baconator --an ode to the most essential Panda Express on the planet --All Gus Malzahn does is cash checks he will never spend --Everyone belongs to one of four human tribes: The Zappers, Wild Aces, Beasts, or Glacier Boyz --Holly challenges us to work onside kicks into every sport --YE ATE ME DART --Spencer just wan…
 
--Why is Ben Franklin smiling on the 100 bill? Because he's pantsless --NCAA FOOTBALL IS BACK! (Again. Not more than it was. On the way? BACK.) --Ryan on why Congress should pass legislation to bring back Banjo and Kazooie --A brief diversion into a musical about Aaron Burr slapping Alexander Hamilton to death --Which schools in the new NCAA video …
 
--Spencer is described by his co-workers as "a dog with a plunger" --Play the game "EPL name or NFL Assistant" --Jason demands that you LEARN. FOOTBALL. --Tom Brady, the ultimate "let's get a game-winning FG" QB ever --An alternate history where Mike Vick steals whale sharks from the GA Aquarium --We turn Kirby Smart into a Turkish soccer team --Im…
 
--Spencer and Ryan duel to see who can hold the longest WELLLCOME, and Spencer almost dies --a review of the DIAMOND HANDS LIFESTYLE, or how the whole world is living the #FullcastLyfe now --A review of Ren Faires, and why they are not Med Faires --Jared Goff is smarter than all of us --Matt Stafford, Daydrinking Nap God --Picking out teams clearly…
 
Why are you even asking if we bought GameStop stock? Of course we bought GameStop stock Spencer invented a game! That’s not as bad as it sounds! Why are you flinching? Anyway, the game goes like this: Can you pick hit or miss coaching hires throughout history based solely on their records? Turns out we can’t, but we CAN reunite Ryan with his coachi…
 
It’s the cryptocurrency episode! Spencer wants to invest $100 in bitcoin live on the air, and we may not be able to talk him out of it! The Vitruvian Man, updated for the modern age! (it’s Kid Rock, sorry) The four bodily humors, updated for the modern age! (one of them is Fritos, sorry) In honor of the NFL playoffs, the team goes looking for the b…
 
We can exclusively report that Homophobic Country Ham With A Headset On It has turned down the Tennessee job An abbreviated list of players and coaches about whom we have been Quite Wrong, footballishly speaking So we’ll be talking about Josh Allen for quite a bit Just draft Bama guys, anybody named after an Egyptian allfather, and Rondale Moore…
 
In keeping with Fullcast tradition, we belly-flop into the offseason by restarting our Disasters Playlist, this time centered around “times you have set things on fire that were not supposed to be on fire.” Includes the following instant-classic story elements: • “We did not have a fireplace.” • “The smoke was visible for miles around.” • “Ants sur…
 
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