226. Professional Humility V: Contempt

The OptimalWork Podcast

#226: Dr. John Gottman identifies four stages in the breakdown of a relationship: defensiveness, criticism, stonewalling, and ultimately contempt. Each of these reflects a deeper issue— a lack of humility. In this episode, we delve into the fourth stage: contempt. Contempt is the most significant predictor of relationship decline and divorce, due to its permanence and the emotional distance it creates. Contempt also has cultural implications, particularly in parenting, and the need for fostering bonds through understanding and mutual respect. Humility, growth mindset, and trust are crucial in overcoming contempt and helping us orient ourselves toward the good of others, our bonds with them, and our common goods.

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