Season 1, Episode 56: Five Little Monkeys Doodle Mapplethorpe Stick Figures
Manage episode 347236889 series 3287705
Special guest Carla from Burnt Korn, Alabama, hates childproof caps. Hey, pill companies! If you’re designing a capsule bottle for arthritis sufferers, and the only way they can open the damn thing is with a sledgehammer, then JUST MAYBE you need to go back to the design drawing board!
Lick alert! Next, we have a Waylon the Basset hound sitting! During which co-host Arik relives a Basset hound bladder-milking epic tale—or is that tail? Folks, only on the world’s penultimate worst-rated podcast will you stumble into moments like these!
Next, what to do when your local library starts banning books and songs? That’s right, folks! The local library system in Arik’s neck of the woods has officially banned “Five Little Monkeys” from childhood story time. This wouldn’t be the same library system that incinerates tens of thousands of books per year, would it? Somewhere, Ray Bradbury rolls in his grave. (Five Science Fiction Classics sitting in a tree, teasing Mr. Book Burner, “Can’t catch me!”)
Speaking of “Fahrenheit 451,” we are sick of smoky hotel rooms that smell like ashtrays. Also, Carla is sick of ass hats who toss their garbage out of car windows. And Arik is fed up with Mr. Stanky Uber passengers who reek of BO, pot and fried chicken: “It smells like someone in the back seat just made it with a rotting rhinoceros carcass. I spend half my money on Febreze these days!”
Finally, how the hell did cerebral palsy end up on The Hate Napkin? Tune in to find out!
THN PSA: If everyone had a Basset hound, no one would need The Hate Napkin. I mean, no one does actually need The Hate Napkin. But Basset hounds are pretty awesome, anyway.
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