He Was Such a Smiley Baby: A Stillbirth Mother’s Story

Still A Part of Us: A podcast about pregnancy loss, stillbirth, and infant loss

Trigger Warning: This episode discusses infant loss, including miscarriage and stillbirth. Please listen with care.

Stacy’s conversation with Winter is a powerful one. She opens up about how she found comfort during the most heartbreaking time of her life––the loss of her son, Carson, who was stillborn at 34 weeks due to unknown reasons.

In this episode, Stacy and Winter talk about getting 4D and 3D ultrasounds and seeing Carson’s smiley face and happy demeanor. Stacy talks about being pregnant with baby Carson and what led to going into the hospital to check on him.

Some highlights from this episode with Stacy include:

• Pregnancy after miscarriage, early ultrasounds, and OBGYN appointments

• Regret around not tracking baby's movements and the importance of counting kicks

• Her decision not to undergo an autopsy

• The difficult moment of handing over their stillborn baby to funeral home staff

• Finding a special spot for Carson in the cemetery and feeling comforted by the presence of other children buried nearby

Stacy’s story is a reminder of the importance of cherishing every moment and fidning healing through connection and reflection, even in the face of unimaginable loss.

Quotes:

“I wanted to be alone––so that's just what I preferred. I sat in that room. I remember there was a clock right in front of me and I just was watching it tick. I felt like I was just having a bad dream or something.” – Stacy (29:12)

“But it was like I was holding a baby. like, because I was just––he just wasn't crying. He wasn't breathing, but he was there. And that moment will forever be so special because, again, it was peaceful. It was sad, but he was perfect.” – Stacy (46:28)

Other Episodes You Might Appreciate:

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/he-was-such-a-smiley-baby-a-stillbirth-mothers-story/id1473594556?i=1000661421771

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Links:

Grief Support Groups: https://nationalshare.org/

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