53: Raising Special Needs Children the Healthy Way

Love How Deep Marriage

Welcome to another episode of the Love How Deep Podcast with Brian & Heather Mayer.

Brian and Heather Mayer discuss parenting special needs children with Brandon Summitt, an ordained Bishop and host of the "Charting Life" podcast. They explore the challenges and emotional aspects of parenting special needs children, emphasizing the importance of intentionality in maintaining marital connections and spending quality time with all children. Brandon highlights the role of community support, including churches and specialized organizations like the Ability Tree, which provide resources and respite care. He also stresses the significance of humor and advocacy in managing the unique needs of special needs children. The conversation underscores the importance of faith and resilience in navigating these parenting dynamics.

Introduction to the Podcast and Special Guest

Brian introduces the episode's focus on parenting special needs children, noting it as a less-discussed topic on the podcast.

Brian and Heather mention their own struggles with parenting and the decision to bring in a guest for more specialized insights.

Brandon is introduced as the guest, with Brian highlighting his background, including his marriage, ministry work, and podcast.

Brian and Heather express their excitement about learning from Brandon and the educational value of the conversation.

Defining Special Needs and Emotional Aspects

Brandon explains that special needs can encompass a wide range of issues, including mobility, health, cognitive, and developmental disabilities.

He emphasizes the importance of understanding the emotional charged nature of discussing special needs and the different preferences in language usage (e.g., "child with autism" vs. "autistic child").

Brandon mentions the need for charitable understanding and the interchangeable use of terms like special needs, disabilities, and challenges.

Heather and Brian acknowledge the importance of setting a tone of understanding and inclusivity in the conversation.

Keeping the Marriage Connected While Parenting a Special Needs Child

Brian raises the question of how a husband and wife can stay connected while parenting a special needs child, sharing an example of a child in a wheelchair.

Brandon discusses the risk of a couple drifting apart due to the demands of parenting a special needs child and the importance of maintaining fundamentals in the relationship.

He shares personal anecdotes about being intentional with time together, even in small moments, and the need for flexibility in plans due to the child's needs.

Heather and Brandon discuss the importance of humor and maintaining a positive outlook to handle the challenges and emotions that come with parenting a special needs child.

Balancing Time with Other Children and Managing Jealousy

Brian asks about balancing time with other children in the family and managing jealousy between children with special needs and those without.

Brandon advises being intentional with time spent with all children, even if it means taking them on errands or including them in activities.

He emphasizes the importance of adding children into every little thing possible to ensure they feel loved and included.

Heather and Brandon discuss the need to pour love and affection into all children, especially when one has special needs, to ensure they feel cared for and valued.

Faith and God's Role in Parenting a Special Needs Child

Brian and Heather discuss the impact of having a special needs child on faith and the potential for anger or questioning God.

Brandon shares his personal experience with diabetes and how his faith was tested, leading him to a deeper understanding of God's presence in pain and suffering.

He recounts a significant moment when he felt God asking him to pray for strength rather than healing, and how this shift in perspective helped him and his family.

Brian and Heather emphasize the importance of aligning one's will with God's will and finding peace and strength in God's presence.

Community Support and Resources for Special Needs Families

Brandon discusses the importance of community support and resources, including social media, churches, and specialized organizations.

He highlights the benefits of larger churches with more resources and the importance of reaching out to churches for support and information.

Brandon shares an example of a respite program at a church that provided a few hours of relief for parents, allowing them to take a break and reconnect.

Heather mentions a local church that offers a special needs Sunday school class and vacation Bible school, providing a supportive environment for children with special needs.

Advocating for Yourself and Building Connections

Brandon encourages families with special needs children to advocate for themselves and seek out resources and support.

He emphasizes the importance of not giving up and continuing to reach out to friends and community for support.

Brandon shares the value of having a buddy system for children with special needs to help them integrate into group activities and feel included.

Heather and Brandon discuss the importance of being intentional with time spent with other children and advocating for oneself to ensure needs are met.

Action Items

· Reach out to larger churches in the area to inquire about resources for special needs families.

· Investigate the "Ability Tree" organization and see if there are any local churches partnered with them.

· Continue inviting special needs families to church events, even if they decline multiple times, to let them know they are welcome.

· Check out the "Center for Courageous Kids" camp in Kentucky as a potential resource for special needs families.

Final Thoughts and Encouragement

Brian and Heather reiterate the importance of being intentional in marriage, parenting, and advocating for oneself.

They emphasize the value of community support and the importance of finding and using available resources.

Brandon shares additional resources, including a camp for special needs children and the importance of maintaining connections with friends and community.

The episode concludes with a reminder of the importance of faith and God's presence in the journey of parenting a special needs child.

How to Connect with Brandon:

Facebook - Charting Life Podcast

Charting Life Podcast

Charting Life Email