Red and Green Flags

For Better Or Best Podcast

Charles and Shireen kick off ep 9 by laughing about the comments and feedback from previous episodes. Charles points out that some of their subscribers believe Shireen has displayed red flags, and that its a topic the two have never discussed before. Charles says that Shireen had some yellow flags early on when they were just friends and he was watching how she moved dating other people. Shireen claims she thought Charles was corny, but admits that NY women think everyone is corny. He eventually got his swag up(1:05-8:00). Shireen was intentionally dating to meet her husband so one of her red flags was a cheap man. She recalls a date she went on with a guy on a Tuesday, and she knew it was a free movie at a random theater. She had to kiss a few frogs before finding her Prince Charming. It was a turn off, and Charles asked if she was being harsh because the cheapness was a red flag. He then says that transparency for men is what can save them from judgment about being frugal. Had the guy expressed that he either didn't have it or was saving for something, Shireen might've had a bit more respect for it. Shireen believes you should make an effort to make a good impression in the beginning, and that being cheap is acceptable if there's a goal. So now Shireen and Charles are coupon lovers and bargain hunters, but its also because they're transparent and share long term plans(11:02-17:40). Despite Charles having a lot going on which was a red flag, he was incredibly honest and open which was a green flag. Charles admits that proposing was a mental hurdle because of the vulnerability that had been established. He trusted Shireen so much from jump since they started out as friends. Shireen had dated enough and watched her friends get played and lied to so she was relieved by how much Charles shared with her. He always gave her a choice. When his ex came back around he was upfront about it and made Shireen feel safe and secure. Both would rather be uncomfortable hearing the truth than not know what is really going on. Their relationship was long distance so it would've been easy to be dishonest but the friendship was too solid. Charles says if they weren't faith-based it would never have worked(18:00-22:50). Being a God-fearing man was a non-negotiable for Shireen, she knew she wanted to raise her kids a certain way. Having kids and ensuring the family liked him was also non-negotiable. Shireen's mother has no filter, so Shireen was hopeful she would love Charles and now she calls him the son she alwyas wanted. Charles wanted to be a father more than anything because of how amazing his father has been to him. He wanted an ambitious woman, someone that would hustle and be just as much of a go getter as he is. Its hard if you're the only one pushing, who pushes the pusher? Charles and Shireen motivate each other and have stepped out on faith successfully on more than one occasion. Cheers to the green flags!(23:12-30:59)