Motherly's State of Motherhood

The Mental Load

Motherly's State of Motherhood and the Mental Load

Join us and special guest, Kate Anderson, Chief of Staff at Motherly to discuss their annual State of Motherhood report. The largest body of research regarding motherhood and issues impacting families.

Kate Anderson is a leader in generating change and gender equality within the startup space.

As a Chief of Staff at Motherly, a wellbeing destination empowering mothers to thrive with expert content, innovative product solutions, and supportive community. Motherly engages an audience of 40 million+ readers and viewers a month, with on-demand parent education classes, Webby-award winning videos, The Motherly Podcast, essays, and articles, and a highly-engaged social media community.

As co-founder and VP of Operations of IFundWomen, she has driven millions of dollars into the hands of female founders. IFundWomen's flexible crowdfunding platform combines a pay-it-forward model, expert startup coaching, professional video production, and a private community for its entrepreneurs, all with the goal of helping female entrepreneurs launch successful businesses.

Prior to launching IFundWomen, Kate spent four years at Hines Interests, one of the largest and most respected real estate organizations in the world with more than $116 billion under management.

Kate earned her BA from Colgate University and received a Masters of Professional Studies from Georgetown University.

Nearly 10,000 mothers completed our sixth annual survey, conducted from Feb. 26 to March 13, 2023. To ensure our results represent today’s mothers accurately, we weighted the data to align with US Census demographic data. Our report focuses on the findings from millennial and Gen Z mothers, but we also provide some insights from Gen X mothers who participated in the survey. Findings continue to validate that today’s mothers are parenting without adequate structural support.

Findings of the survey:

• 1. The Great Resignation continues for mothers
• 2. Self-care looks different as moms prioritize sleep over sex and friends
• 3. Household and family responsibilities fall more on mothers than during the height of the pandemic
• 4. Mental health is mom’s biggest worry
• 5. 8 in 10 mothers worry about a recession and are making preemptive cuts

The Great Resignation for Moms:

• SAHM has nearly doubled from 15% in 2022 to 25% in 2023
• The message is clear: to return to work, families need flexible work schedules and affordable childcare

Current events contradicting that:

• Return to office movement
• Childcare cliff we just went over as of 9/30

Discussion: It’s almost like we need a motherhood union. The great resignation reminds me of when unions first started and workers went on strike for one day and realized that companies would wait them out for the one day and take it as a loss, so that’s how we came to unions as we know it today where all members strike and we have collective bargaining. How do we raise immediate awareness and demand change? Why are companies so resistant to offering what seems like an easy solution?

Selfcare looks different as moms prioritize sleep over sex and friends:

• Date nights are down
• Number of times/week moms are having sex are down by 54%
• Reasons: adding a new baby & not having time
• Moms are getting more sleep, but this stat still lags for black moms
• Planning to go out with friends proves to be too difficult

Discussion: having the time is more than your partner just yelling at the kids to get a bunch of chores done so you feel “relaxed” enough to have sex that night.

Household and family responsibilities fall more on moms than even at the height of Covid.

Key findings and takeaways:

• 58% of moms feel they shoulder the main responsibilities of their household
• Ranges from pet care to scheduling appointments
• Many feel their partners don’t know what it takes to run their household

Discussion: the daily vs the “once and a while tasks” - why dads end up with the better deal.

Mental Health:

Key findings and takeaways:

• 46% of moms seeking therapy
• Number of sessions/year has increased
• Fueled by anxiety and depression
• Despite media attention, education is at the bottom of the worry list

Discussion: the mental load and anxiety/depression is self-fulfilling prophecy of sorts

8/10 mothers worry about a recession and are making cuts

• Most mothers report feeling stressed financially
• Moms are responsible for 85% of the purchasing decisions
• Major economic indicator
• Many families aren’t prepared for a $1k unexpected expense which puts families at risk

What can we do as families to lighten the mental load?

Teach our kids to look at the week with us and anticipate what they're going to need to do each day, or just be mentally and emotionally prepared to go through their week.