Chapter 14 - What Remains Inside

What Remains Inside

Dedicated to my brother Scott Barrow, my dear friend and collaborator in creativity, practical jokes, and sarcasm. I miss you so very much.

Trigger warning: this story recounts childhood trauma. Many of the scenes may be difficult for those who have experienced child abuse. Explicit language and graphic content.

Chapter 14 of the serial memoir, What Remains Inside. You can see photogrpahs, a video reading, and more about the story:

http://www.donnabarrowgreen.com/memoir.html

(read by the author, Donna Barrow-Green)

Set in the gritty new England city of New Bedford, Massachusetts in the early 1980s, What Remains Inside has the charm of Juno and the gut-wrenching realism of Girl Interrupted. At 15 years old, after a one-night stand with a popular senior, in the back of his dad's station wagon, I lost my virginity and became pregnant. I had walked into my first high-school, outdoor keg party, met a popular football player and was propelled into adulthood without warning. Up until the day of the abortion, I was still childlike and prone to daydreams of puppy love and being rescued by prince charming. My home life was a dangerous environment ruled over by my sadistic, alcoholic mother and nearly absent father who was going through a 1980s-style midlife crisis of his own: wearing silk shirts having affairs, and becoming increasingly addicted to cocaine. With the help of my sister and my pack of equally neglected girlfriends, I found an abortion clinic in Providence Rhode Island. I used my sister's identity because at 15, I was too young for an abortion without my parents' permission. My memoir offers the point of view of a resilient girl who maintains hope and finds joy despite dark and painful events.

While my childhood may be described as tragic, I triumphed and my story is a coming of age story that allows a realistic look into the experiences of a young girl and the choices she makes to grow up and become independent. Looking back on my story, I see how much I took my reproductive rights for granted. I see the freedom these rights granted and enabled me to persevere and ultimately overcome the odds.

Website with Photographs and More Information

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