When "sorry" is not enough - Habitual Sin and Real Change

Old Fashion Dad Podcast

This week we discuss sin and behavior modification (temporary change) vs. lasting heart change. Habitual sin patterns (like porn addiction) can paralyze us and keep Christian's ineffective and paralyzed. We explore how we can go from superficial apologies to a true desire for lasting heart change by going to going to God, who can provide the desire and heart transformation that frees us.

NOTES:

•This Weeks Whiskey: Bainbridge Distillery - 100 proof Whiskey Forty Saloon bourbon (super tasty!)

•This Weeks Cigars: My Father Cigars - https://myfathercigars.com

•First recording in about 1 month - Christian H. talks a little about his 2 weeks Annual Training for the Army National Guard in Salt Lake City & Christian B. teases out how his family vacation did not go as planned and we will talk about that on the next episode.

•This topic came about after Christian B. wrote the Blog Post, “I’m Sorry, But I’m Not Sorry”: manipulation masquerading as humility and repentance - https://www.buriencounseling.com/blog/june-27th-2021

•How does change happen?

•Why do so many people struggle to implement lasting change and not fall back into destructive behavior

•What motivates change? Simply being sorry we got caught (not actually sorry that we hurt someone else)? or a Deep sorrow for our sin and it's wounding effects, driving us to our knees in repentance and true desire to seek God and the lasting change he has for us?

•If we are truly "sorry", would we continue doing the same thing over and over and over again (like our kids do)?

•Does habitual sin happen to us... or are we active participants in pursuing that sin?

•Do we really want to change and leave behind our sin and be transformed by the Holy Spirit.

•Romans 7:15 - Paul talks about doing the things he doesn't want to do as a slave to sin... 15For I do not understand my own actions. For I do not do what I want, but I do the very thing I hate. 16Now if I do what I do not want, I agree with the law, that it is good. 17So now it is no longer I who do it, but sin that dwells within me. 18For I know that nothing good dwells in me, that is, in my flesh. For I have the desire to do what is right, but not the ability to carry it out. 19For I do not do the good I want, but the evil I do not want is what I keep on doing. 20Now if I do what I do not want, it is no longer I who do it, but sin that dwells within me.

•We can not both be the cause of our issues and sin, and the solution to it (We need Jesus and a power that comes from outside of ourselves (see Episode 021 on Self-love)

•Christian B. sees a lot of situations where people are trying to put a new "paint job" on the outside but are still broken and un-changed on the inside.

•When thinking of habitual and on-going sin that ensnares men, the obvious issue that comes up is often masturbation and pornography.

•It's not the action that makes us sinners. If we aren't masterbating or looking at porn but our heart is full of lust and we want to and are making plans to do those things... we are still slaves to that sin desire.

•We need to think vertically of our sin and how it hurts not just us and those around us but most importantly, hurts God and our relationship with Him.

•Our sin should grieve us and we should pray Psalms 139 to ask God to help reveal our heart to us.

•It's only our reliance and dependance on God (through prayer and regular time in the Bible) that will change our hearts desires and therefore our long-term actions and behavior and free us from our habitual sin and desires for sin.

•To have real "heart change" engages the why behind what's causing the destructive behavior and not just the behavioral symptom of what's going on inside the heart.

•Contrition, Confession & Repentance should be a regular rhythm in a Christian's life.

•What do you do when we know we need to repent but don't want to...? Are we ok being not in control and feeling "weak" not being the one able to fix the situation?

•We are called to be dependent on God.

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