Episode 30 - Part 3: Being true to yourself and who you are

Letters to my kids: A suicide survivor's lessons and advice for life

Episode 30 - Part 3: Being true to yourself and who you are

Music: “Just A Blip” by Andy G. Cohen From the Free Music Archive Released under a Creative Commons Attribution International License

https://tinybuddha.com/blog/dare-to-live-10-unconventional-ways-to-be-true-to-yourself/

It takes courage to grow up and turn out to be who you really are. – E. E. Cummings

Each and every one of us has a destiny, a true life path, a deeply significant soul mission. When we innocently listen to others and try to conform our lives to their expectations, we come out of alignment with our ultimate life purpose.

We are taught since childhood to listen to our “elders” and be obedient to society. But although fitting in helped us to learn the lesson we needed as children, pleasing others becomes an outdated pattern of living in adulthood.

- Take responsibility for your happiness Seriously sit down and think about this: are other people responsible for making you happy, or are you responsible for your happiness? When we aren’t being true to ourselves we tend to let others (or fate) take hold of our lives.

- Get out of your mind and into your heart We need both the mind and heart to work in unison with each other, yet we are taught to worship the mind and trivialize the heart. If your mind is constantly racing and full of thoughts, take a step back. Find some way to relax your mind so that you can listen to your heart again.

- Deliberately remove unsupportive and toxic people It’s important that we show compassion to negative and judgmental people, but we don’t have to keep them around. Think about people who you would prefer not to be around, and experiment with distancing yourself from them. If you discover that you life is much lighter with certain people gone, make the decision to cut them out of your life, with kindness.

"To become conscious and aware, we must become authentic. Authenticity is the highest form of being." -Teal Swan

- Stop avoiding yourself Rediscover who you are. Sit down and explore your thoughts in a journal or find a way of expressing your feelings through art, movement or some form of creativity. You don’t need to be a perfectionist: just allow yourself to reconnect with your inner self. Be kind to yourself. We all mess up once in a while. When it happens and you finally catch on, drop your ego, admit your mistake fully, and make amends.

- Accept yourself and stop trying to be “likable” If you feel that being hated or disliked is one of the worst things that could happen to you, you’re likely a people-pleaser. People-pleasers have a very frail sense of self as everything they do is centered around gaining approval and recognition from others. In order to move past people-pleasing, you need to learn how to find self-worth within yourself, rather than from others.

- Learn how to say “no” and walk away When we base our self-worth on the opinions of others, we tend to struggle with being assertive and drawing boundaries. Saying “yes” to people and commitments when we want to say “no” is one of the most depleting and disempowering choices we can make. There is nothing noble about self-sacrifice, especially when it’s fuelled by fear.

"Living from a place of authenticity is difficult because those living in distortion see you as a threat to their delusion and some are so attached to that delusion that they will behave in erratic ways to defend their ego’s projection of wounding." -Suzanne Wagner

- Connect with your feelings more Do you have a habit of repressing your emotions? If you feel a sense of inner numbness or disconnection from yourself/others, pay attention. The more you bury your emotions, the more they fester within your unconscious mind and manifest as illnesses, nervous breakdowns, explosion of rage, and even mental illnesses.

- Forgive yourself Does a part of you feel like you’re unworthy of living a completely full and happy life? Forgive this self-loathing part of you. If you find it hard to forgive, forgive your lack of forgiveness. Letting go of any anger that you hold towards yourself will help you to find the freedom to make real change and live a life that feels authentic.

- Be honest with yourself Tell the truth: are you really happy? Is this how you pictured your life? Learning how to be true to yourself is all about honesty and transparency. You might be able to deceive yourself for a little while, but eventually the truth will come out, so you might as well be honest. As the proverb goes, “the truth shall set you free.”

"The individual has always had to struggle to keep from being overwhelmed by the tribe. If you try it, you will be lonely often, and sometimes frightened. But no price is too high to pay for the privilege of owning yourself." - Friedrich Nietzsche

- Don’t hate those who stumble; we all do sometimes. We all make mistakes. It’s part of being human. If you can, forgive and allow compassion into your relationships. It makes the ride more beautiful.

- Remember that death makes life real. Death can come at any moment, to any of us. We don’t have forever to be who we are. In fact, we owe it to ourselves and those we love to be truly alive and authentic in each moment. It is the only legacy we can be proud to leave behind. Don’t worry too much about making mistakes. - Dare to dream Throw all social respectability out the window! What is calling your heart? What do you feel passionate about? What secret dream have you had since childhood? Don’t let other people’s opinions tie you down – only you can ultimately discover what your ultimate life path is. Only you can listen to the call of your soul. So dare to dream a little.

"I am not bound to win, but I am bound to be true. I am not bound to succeed, but I am bound to live by the light that I have. I must stand with anybody that stands right, and stand with him while he is right, and part with him when he goes wrong." -Abraham Lincoln