Filtering Friends

It's Always Brunch with Megan & Shannon

We’ve talked about filtering in dating, but what about filtering friends- new and old?

We’ve all heard the saying (or something similar)- ”You are the average of the five people you spend your time with.” Basically, it’s meant to bring to your awareness the influence of behaviors, attitudes, beliefs, and energy that that this creates for you and within you, perhaps how you are perceived, and also your happiness and success.

We’ve been exploring the ideas around filtering for potential romantic relationships (using your deal breakers checklist) and applying them to our friendships. Sometimes we need to examine whether the people we spend time with are really our friends, and if a possible new friend is really someone that we want to develop a relationship with or keep as an acquaintance. Just as you benefit from being around people who challenge and support you, you are impacted by those who are negative, unsupportive, self-centered, and want you to engage in that space with them.

When it comes to old friends, we tend to add weight to those since we’ve been friends forever. But is that relationship still serving you? Sooo much changes over the years and sometimes we grow in different ways and the friendship no longer works like it used to which might be ok as you both accept that, or it might just not work anymore, or you may want to redefine the friendship.

And when it comes to new friends, this looks much different as an adult. It takes hours upon hours to really get to know someone and we all know how busy everyone is. It’s easy to get excited about meeting someone that has similar interests or may be in the same place in life as you, but it’s still important to examine what the person can actually bring to your life in a reciprocal way.

We talk through some questions to ask yourself as you go through the filtering process. Megan also shares some of her experiences and how Shannon has helped coach her through them.

This is such an important topic especially at the mid-point of our lives. Many of our friends and acquaintances have shared their challenges over friendships so we hope you find this helpful.

Surround yourself with people who add to and enrich your life. You’ll be better for it!
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