Living in Limbo

Insight of the Week

The Gemara in Masechet Hagigah (5b) tells of Rabbi Yehoshua ben Hananiah, who was exceptionally effective in responding to the heretics of his time, those who worked to challenge Judaism and oppose the Jewish faith. When he grew old, and it was apparent that he would soon leave this world, the Rabbis approached him to express their concern over how they would deal with the heretics after his passing. Rabbi Yehoshua reassured the Rabbis by citing a pasuk (Yirmiyahu 49:7) indicating that when wise people are lost from the Jewish Nation, the wise from the enemy nations are lost, as well. Meaning, Hashem ensures to maintain a constant balance in the world between the forces of good and the forces of evil. And so if Rabbi Yehoshua, a strong counterforce to the powers of evil, was departing, then those forces will necessarily be diminished. Rabbi Yehoshua drew further support for this concept from a pasuk in Parashat Vayishlah. After Yaakov and Esav's dramatic reunion, Esav extends an offer to Yaakov, asking that they travel together: נסעה ונלכה, ואלכה לנגדך – 33:12). This indicates that "Yaakov" and "Esav" work in tandem. There is a certain balance between good and evil. Hashem sees to it that the forces of "Yaakov" and "Esav" work together in the sense that there is always good, and there is always bad. To probe a bit deeper, and to understand how this concept is practically relevant to each and every one of us, let us look at Yaakov Avinu's response to Esav's offer. Yaakov tells Esav to continue forward without him, עד אשר אבוא אל אדוני שעירה – until Yaakov would eventually catch up to him, in Seir. Meaning, Yaakov declines Eisav's offer, preferring that Esav go forward while he, Yaakov, would travel at his own place and join Eisav at some point in the future. Of course, as we know, Yaakov never went to join Esav in Se'ir. He went to Eretz Yisrael , and his descendants, the Jewish People, have always lived separate and apart from Esav. Rashi explains that Yaakov referred to the time of Mashiah , when the world will reach perfection, at which point the descendants of Yaakov and Esav will be reunited. In our current reality, until the time of Mashiah , we are in a constant state of limbo. We are always on a journey, making our way to our destination, without reaching it. This is true both in the national sense, regarding Am Yisrael 's journey, and individually, in the life of each person. The Jewish People have almost always been on a journey, having experienced virtually no periods of perfect stability, where we were right where we were supposed to be. But this is true also individually. Is there any person who can say that he is precisely where he wants to be, that his marriage is perfect, his income is perfect, his health is perfect, his children are perfect, all his relationships are perfect, his religious observance is perfect, and everything in life is exactly the way he wants it to be? Of course not. In every person's life, there is a "balance" between "Yaakov" and "Esav," between good and bad. There are things to be grateful for, and there are things which we would prefer not to have to deal with. Until Mashiah comes, we are on a journey, during which we balance these two aspects of our reality. It is vitally important for us to recognize this truth, that life is not supposed to be perfect, that we cannot and should not expect it to be perfect. We feel discontented and aggravated because we expect to already be at our destination, to reach the completion of our journey, to experience perfection. When we live with this expectation, we make it all but inevitable that we will feel unhappy and bitter due to life's challenges. Once we realize that life is supposed to be a journey, that we are supposed to live in limbo, then life's challenges become so much easier to deal with. We accept them as part of our journey, as part of the "Yaakov-Esav balance" that we are supposed to experience. We will recognize that we have so much goodness in our lives to rejoice over, alongside the hardships which we are expected to handle to the best of our ability. Many people go through life thinking that once such-and-such problem is resolved, their lives will be perfect and they will feel happy. But by the time that problem is resolved, there is another problem which arises – and this becomes the problem that needs to be solved in order to attain happiness. We must train ourselves to accept the reality of our life's ongoing journey, that life will always be a balance of "Yaakov" and "Esav," of the good and the less good, and we can feel content and blessed with the good fortune we enjoy even while struggling with the less desirable aspects of our lives.