136 - When Your Parents Never Asked 'How Do You Feel?' ft. Dr. Jonice Webb

Healing Honeys (formerly OPENHOUSE with Louise Rumball)

Do you have big emotions or nearly none at all? Do you feel blocked off from others even when you want to connect? Ever wondered why intimacy seems to be so easy for everyone else? If yes, this episode is for you. This one is for the people who had ‘good parents’ and a ‘good childhood’ and objectively ‘not much to complain about’ but still don’t seem to have found the answers, solutions or connections in intimacy that they were hoping for.

Today, Louise is joined by Dr. Jonice Webb, leading clinical psychologist in the space of childhood emotional neglect to discuss how a parent’s failure to notice, acknowledge or respond to your emotions and emotional needs can deeply shape the adult that shows up in the dating and friendship world today.

The pair discuss how:

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• Our brain registers what ‘happened’ more than what didn’t happen (& how our childhood can impact our ventral striatum)
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• Having our feelings invalidated (being told they are wrong or excessive) or that emotions are a burden is very damaging for children
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• The concept of ‘walling off’ our feelings (so they happen outside of our awareness) + how this shows up in adulthood
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• The concepts of emotional numbness, emotional suppression and emotional disconnection
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• How these experiences can impact our self-worth, self-esteem and relational health
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• A lack of emotional attunement and validation in childhood can lead to a lack of self care in adulthood
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The pair also discuss a journey towards warmth, connection and recovery. They talk about HOW to break down emotional walls and allow oneself to feel, facing neglected emotions, finding meaning and purpose.

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