THE TALKING BODY: MICRO-BODYLANGUAGE

Gameology

Microbody language. People can look at the smallest shift in the way your body moves and in microseconds get an impression of you. That is our human ability to draw conclusions and judge quickly based on previous situations we have been in. When it comes to deciphering body language it helps to think about what a “normal” response/approach would typically look like. But what about when body language is missing from a conversation? For example: If a person is claiming they care but their body language is totally relaxed, it sends us mixed messages. Understated body language can make a person look timid or unsure of their cause. Most of the time understated body language is our attempt at not looking nervous, but for the observer, our lax posture can feel like we do not care. 93% of your agenda is conveyed by your body. Solution: practice moving. Not because we are practicing to trick people but because we are wanting to be sure they know we care as much as we actually do care. When your goal is to convince someone- make sure you look convincing. You can always tell a liar who isn’t sold on their own advice because it sounds like they are trying to convince themselves. When you are convinced of your cause you speak from your heart. Simply saying the words you care will not be felt as sincere if your hands are in your pockets. 93% of the message “I care” by a person with their hands in their pockets is actually “I don’t care”…leaving the words “I care” with little or no meaning to the person hearing them. Speaking from the heart when you are convincing someone is ten times more sincere when you let yourself gesture. Be authentic by being the whole package. You are the whole package to someone when the things you say match your body language because it conveys unity in what you say is truly what you mean to say. Be present in the moment mind and body, committed to your job. So what does that look like? Here is the scenario: You want to tell your client that you understand how they feel and that you are the one to keep this deal together and ultimately bring them what they want. In doing this you want to reassure them they hired the right person in hiring you. This means keeping your torso open, shoulders back, and when making hand gestures, you are making sure the movement originates from the center of your chest. Keeping your arms folded says: I am uncomfortable. Keep your forearms raised, hanging arms do not show feeling. Also, every time you make a gesture look at a person’s eyes. It is alright if a person looks away as you make eye contact with them, do not take that as a sign you have done something wrong. If a person looks away after you make eye contact it is because they were not prepared for your sincerity. If they do look away nervously then you can make them feel relaxed again by only holding eye contact (3 seconds or more) when you make the chest connecting hand movements. There is a fine line between asserting sincerity and making someone uncomfortable. Look for the cues. Stay aware of how the other person is reacting to you. Sometimes it is the smallest adjustments in our strategy that makes the biggest difference. Ask someone close to you to tell you what your signature body movements are. I guarantee they have noticed.