11. From Heartache to Healing: The Power of Self-Acceptance with Randi

Camp Wild Heart

So often when I talk to parents about their children’s decision or request to transition, parents express concern that their child will regret their decision, and that their child’s regret will come back on them as parents.

In fact, I’ve worked with a number of parents who have said, “They can do whatever they want when they’re 18, but I’m not going to be responsible for any regrets that they have later.”

I’ve always translated this as a fear response. And I get it. There are a lot of unknowns and a lot of uncertainty, and nobody wants to screw up their kid or make their future not what they hoped it would be.

Today we're going to hear the story of a trans woman who didn't transition when they were young, even though they knew that's what they wanted and needed. She's going to share the story of the life that she has lived struggling with who she is and how to be in the world.

Her name is Randi, and she's a white, middle-aged trans woman. She's married, she has kids.

Randi asked me if she could share her story with you all because she wanted you to know the other side of the story for trans folks who can't transition, or choose to wait until they're adults to do so, and what regret means to her.

Check out the full episode to hear about:

• How Randi knew from a very young age that she was different–and that she had to hide her differences
• The experience of social and emotional isolation that resulted from not being able to be herself
• Why Randi turned to hypermasculine expression in the wake of realizing that she was trans
• How suppressing her identity impacted Randi emotionally, in her relationships, and even economically
• How Randi finally came out to her wife and her family
• How Randi’s pastor and faith community have provided support as she transitions
• Randi’s advice for parents of trans kids

Find out more about Mackenzie Dunham:

• Wildheartsociety.org
• wildheartsociety.org/downloads
• Wild Heart Society on Facebook
• Wild Heart Society on Instagram

Resources:

• The Power of Regret: How Looking Backward Moves Us Forward, Daniel H. Pink