The Sands of Time by Sidney Sheldon

Bodice Tipplers

They're a bunch of nuns on the run! He's a... Basque terrorist! Sure! Whatever! There's also a rich dying New York boss lady and a missing orphan, a secret society that runs all of Spain, several bullfights, at least two prison breaks, a Swiss bank account, and some sex murders! Look out, y'all, it's The Sands of Time by Sidney Sheldon!

You heard us - we're diving back into the Sidney Sheldon oeuvre! Fire up your meanest YouTube comments! Why do you care so much? Nobody knows! Why does Saudi Arabia love Sidney Sheldon so much? Why did everybody get so mad when we did that Bloodline episode, on a book we liked?! Nobody knows! Anyway, we did not like this one so get ready!

This has. Oh god, it's impossible to list all the content warnings for this one. Sexual assault both in the past and present; gang rapes and assaults on minors theoretically consensual and otherwise. Cruelty to animals. Cruelty by animals! Racism! Terrorism! Fat shaming! If it bothers you, just assume it's here and you're probably right.

You're gonna want to check out our website for a rundown of all the international covers of this one, of course. I think my favorite is the second Indonesian one. High effort! High marks!