Episode by episode look back on a childhood favorite
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Horror writer Dalton Deschain and film critic Dylan Roth are tasked with reviving the short-lived Dark Universe of horror movies, pitching each other a new installment in a Marvel-style grand opus featuring Frankenstein, Dracula, and the Mummy. This podcast is not affiliated with or endorsed by Universal Pictures but it's funnier if you pretend that it is.
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All things scary Insta: afraid.axe
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The Gang is back and they are finished with the original Goosbumbs eps. Highlights include surf'n turf, big lizard, and Derek is Madame Web.
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The Exorcist
2:39:04
2:39:04
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2:39:04It's Dalton's final solo pitch of the Death's Door Saga, and not coincidentally the bleakest and most disturbing! In the spirit of the original Exorcist and their beloved Exorcist III, Dalton's reimagining is obscene, blasphemous, but also totally sincere and even a little bit profound. Be aware that this episode is not for the faint of heart and w…
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The Gang is back and they are in deep trouble. You're grounded mister! Highlights include deep wet, slime tutorials, and fish fun only.
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The Invisible Woman w/Stella Sacco
1:45:08
1:45:08
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1:45:08In 1940, Universal cashed in on the success of their Invisible Man films with a spin-off, The Invisible Woman, which was very much not a horror movie! Instead, we got an extremely slight and forgettable screwball comedy. Now, in 2025, our guest writer/video game narrative designer Stella Sacco has been tasked with creating a new darker, scarier and…
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The Gang is back and cat's cry, little boy man in the moon... Highlights include sexy accident, science hole, and the best commercials.
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Mystery Men
2:21:21
2:21:21
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2:21:21Hell has broken loose in the Dark Universe, and we could really use some levity — both there and in the real world! Fear not, for our heroes may be dead, but at least there's, uh, these guys. Time to meet Dark Universe MYSTERY MEN! For the first time, the Didactic Mr. Dylan has (mostly) stepped off his political soapbox to deliver a pure action-adv…
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The Gang is back and boy are these cats crying. Highlights include extra long cat, Rip Torn, and Gregory the cat.
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The Covenant w/Lindsey Kelk
1:48:09
1:48:09
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1:48:09Author, journalist, and co-host of the wrestling podcast Tights and Fights Lindsey Kelk joins Dylan & Dalton to revisit a cringey teen-targeted dark fantasy from 2006 — The Covenant, starring current Oscar-nominee Sebastian Stan! What makes this film so memorably bad, and how will Lindsey reimagine it into something worthy of our Dark Universe? Plu…
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The Gang is back and they are basement ghosts singing. Highlights include big haunts, Danny Anderson, and the best prnak.
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The Old Dark House
2:44:19
2:44:19
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2:44:192025 kicks off Big, Old, and Dark with Dalton's first solo pitch of the season! It's a modern twist on gothic horror, based on a 1928 novel by J.B. Priestley and a James Whale Universal horror classic that was almost lost forever. How will Dalton reimagine this spooky tale to fit into the HELL ON EARTH era of our ongoing Dark Universe? We'll be rea…
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The Gang is back and they are hainting your next door neighbors. Highlights include Bri's Fanfic, Tori's Playboy Treasure Trove, and early internet.
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The Gang is back and They still gotr little heads. Highlights include Jungle Magic,Tori makes goals, and hero shit.
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The Gang is back and they are getting a shrunken head I guess. Highlights include Jungle Shit, chicken carry-ons, and Sri Lankian Elvis.
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Another Dark Universe Holiday Special
1:51:33
1:51:33
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1:51:33ED. NOTE: At 5:04 in this episode, Dylan says that National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation is "not good" and that he "watched it for Dalton," only laughing "one time." However, if you check Dylan's Letterboxd review from last year, he ADMITS he only watched the first half hour before tapping out. That, in this reporter's opinion, does not count as wa…
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The Gang is back and this time some of them are teachers and some are pets. Highlights includeBig Guy, Snakes for Jesus, and Mr. Bean.
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The Real Dark Universe Theme Park w/Alicia Stella
1:27:18
1:27:18
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1:27:18After two years of plotting and discussing totally imaginary films and television shows, isn't it about time we got real?!?! Theme park journalist Alicia Stella of Orlando ParkStop joins us to discuss the upcoming Dark Universe land at Universal Studios: Epic Universe in Orlando Florida. Learn how she got the scoop about the Dracula, Frankenstein, …
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The Gang is back and this time they plot their escape. Highlights include agressive parades, plastic, and drunk vacuuming.
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Night of the Living Dead
2:32:47
2:32:47
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2:32:47Dark Legion: Death's Door unleashed Hell on Earth. Now, Dylan & Dalton are exploring their universe's terrifying new status quo with a season of standalone stories packed with new (read: expendable) characters. First up, Dylan is taking a swing at a Dark Universe reimagining of one of the most important horror films of all time: Night of the Living…
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The Gang is back and they are stilling chilling, this time something kind of related to baseball. Highlights include Tori learns new things, Vine, and baseball siinger.
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BONUS: Smokey & the Bandit / Generations of Murder
1:25:15
1:25:15
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1:25:15Dylan needed an extra week to get his Night of the Living Dead script up to code, so as a consolation we're releasing this month's bonus episode to the main feed, plus we're making the video version available to all paid subscribers. Dalton Deschain & Dylan Roth answer a challenge from Studio Executive Birras to come up with a Dark Universe version…
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House of 1000 Corpses w/Abe Goldfarb
1:31:05
1:31:05
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1:31:05It's the crossover nobody asked for, least of all Dylan & Dalton! And yet, in this FULL VIDEO, SEASON 4 premiere of AYADU, guest Abe Goldfarb (Beetlejuice: The Musical, First Time Caller) sells our hosts on a Suicide Squad-style romp in which Otis and Baby Firefly bring their bloodlust into the Dark Universe's new status quo! This episode is availa…
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The Gang is back and squealing. Highlights include yard sales, CvK, and Wet Wonka.
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Unlocking Dark Legion: Death's Door
1:38:16
1:38:16
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1:38:16Here it is at last: The complete story break conversation in which Dylan & Dalton determined when, how, and why the Dark Legion would meet their terrible fates in Dark Legion: Death's Door! How much did our storytellers know before they broke ground on their sadistic sequel? How much of their plans changed between this initial discussion and the fi…
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The Gang is back to say cheese and die and they are all out of cheese. Highlights include tall tales, return of imdBri, and Goseless.
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Dark Legion: Death's Door, Part Two
2:02:06
2:02:06
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2:02:06WHO WILL SURVIVE? Part One of the Phase Three finale put our heroes — and our audience — through Hell. The stakes are higher than ever. What fate awaits the Dark Legion? Our partner podcast this month isn't a podcast, but an honest to god book, by our friend and voice of Dr. Jennifer Halsey — Ella Dawson! Check out But How Are You, Really? wherever…
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The Gang is back and this time something about peas. Highlights include Skater Girl, size disparity, and Derek fights a baby (again).
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Dark Legion: Death's Door, Part One
2:09:37
2:09:37
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2:09:37THE END IS NEAR. The two-part finale of Phase Three begins here. Ahmanet lives. Set is loose. The Dark Legion is in great danger. What terrors await Earth's Mightiest Monsters? PLUS: A bonus clip from the patest episode of Are You Afraid of Dylan & Dalton?, available for Patrons at Patreon.com/DylanAndDalton. GUEST CAST (watch out for spoilers!) El…
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BONUS: Mamma Mia! / Under the Influence of Sybonk
1:44:01
1:44:01
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1:44:01While you await DEATH'S DOOR with bated breath, here's this month's episode of the Patron-exclusive podcast Are You Afraid of Dylan & Dalton? in its entirety absolutely free! Don't worry, we're not just being generous. We're after your money. We're starting an exciting new project on our bonus podcast ARE YOU AFRAID OF DYLAN & DALTON? called Studio…
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The Gang is back and this time they are getting married. Highlights include bonding, Jimmy Fight Club, and trauma doll.
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Robot Monster w/Bill Corbett
1:30:27
1:30:27
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1:30:27Heads up: For this, our 50th episode, we have created a full VIDEO VERSION of the episode. Not just a picture of the episode cover with some graphics on it, but an honest-to-god video. Watch it here, if you'd like: https://youtu.be/XxN4CXdufAc One of our comedic heroes, Bill Corbett of Mystery Science Theater 3000 and RiffTrax, calls in to pitch us…
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The Gang is Back and this time they are Awesome Ants. Highlights include Dippin' Dots, OOps All Ants, and weiners.
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Phase Three Recap! Plus: Dracula in Hell
1:59:46
1:59:46
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1:59:46Dark Legion: Death's Door is just a month away, which means it's time for another rapid-fire Dark Universe recap! Join us as we attempt to coherently summarize the past ten canon episodes of our show in no more than five minutes each, while also reflecting back on some of the season's twists and turns. PLUS: By your request, we've compiled all eigh…
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The gang is back and covered in this werewolf skin for a second time. Highlights include Saw Trap alarms, werewolf orgy, and pizza waffles.
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Darkman w/Daniel Kibblesmith
1:34:06
1:34:06
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1:34:06A decade before directing the blueprint for a generation of superhero blockbusters, Sam Raimi attempted to create his own mashup between comic book hero and Universal Monster: Darkman! How the hell did it take us so long to adapt this one? Luckily, Emmy-nominated TV and comics writer Daniel Kibblesmith is here to pitch an exciting new take on the c…
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The Gang is back and they tried the werewolf skin roll. Highlights include Hanna, werewolf rules, Stephen King Millenial
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Van Helsing, Part Two
1:46:03
1:46:03
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1:46:03It's time for the shocking conclusion of Dalton's Van Helsing pitch, the Carmilla Trilogy, and what I suppose we can start calling the House of Frankenstein Trilogy. The Dark Legion faces their most daunting challenge to date: each other! Phase Three's threads converge here, and everything will change! PLUS: Who got married during the two-year gap?…
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Van Helsing, Part One
1:50:58
1:50:58
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1:50:58They said it would never happen — Dalton has written script too big for one episode! Van Helsing revisits the ruthless Adelaide, last of the Van Helsing line, in a story that wraps up Dalton's Carmilla Trilogy and reassembles practically the entire Dark Legion. It's a tall order. Can this pitch live up to its lofty expectations? PLUS: A bonus clip …
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The Gang is still at school, oh no they missed the bus. Highlights include The Perfect Storm, Southern Bri, and hackers.
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The Ghost and Mrs. Muir w/Magnolia Porter Siddell
1:34:25
1:34:25
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1:34:25In our latest guest pitch episode, writer and cartoonist Magnolia Porter Siddell brings us her take on the 1947 supernatural romance The Ghost and Mrs. Muir, in which a fiercely independent widow grows attached to the deceased sailor (sorry, SEAMAN, he wants to be called a seaman) who haunts her new house. Dylan & Dalton are immediately taken with …
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The Gang is back and this time they go to the perfect school. Highlights include Dr. Dealer, older sibling shenanigans, and Nate Bargatze.
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Return to the Black Lagoon
2:30:38
2:30:38
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2:30:38Last season, Dalton brought us a unique and ambitious reimagining of a Universal classic: THE BLACK LAGOON. It's a bleak and surreal horror story about gender, isolation, oppression, repression, and death. It's not a movie that calls for a sequel, and even less a movie that calls for a sequel from Dylan. Nevertheless, that was Dylan's assignment fo…
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The Gang is back to play a game of haunted houses. Highlights include nonconsensual board games, and big die.
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Jaws w/Patrick Willems
1:51:20
1:51:20
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1:51:20There's only one storyteller we would trust to pitch a Dark Universe reimagining of Jaws, one of the greatest films of all time: filmmaker and YouTube star Patrick Willems joins us from Cannes, France to share his vision of the most ill-advised movie remake of all time! Plus, learn about the time Patrick met Tom Cruise at the premiere of the latest…
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The Gang is back for another one day at Horrorland. Higlights includeSports Utility Vehicles, Magomery, Seagull Nine Eleven.
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The Invisible Man's Revenge
2:23:01
2:23:01
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2:23:01Dalton's informal "Carmilla Trilogy" continues with The Invisible Man's Revenge, a sequel to our breakout episode from way back in 2022! The fanbase is split as to what to expect from this one. Will this chapter be another kooky slapstick comedy, or will it be a nihilistic bloodbath the likes of which the Dark Universe has never seen? You'll get yo…
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The Gang is back and they are spending one day at Horrorland. Highlights include serial garden, Horrorland red flags, and The Unknown orgin story
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Village of the Damned w/Avery Edison
1:49:54
1:49:54
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1:49:54Writer and comedian Avery Edison has come to pitch a new take on Village of the Damned, and she has come PREPARED. It's our most in-depth guest pitch to date! This one's got it all: Creepy children, uncanny creatures, gender feelings, and ties to our Dark Legion! And, bits? Yeah, we got those, too. You don't want to miss this one. Our podcast partn…
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The Gang is back and boy are their ghosts barking. Highlights include Forest Whitaker, Liar Dad, and barking water.
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Cat People (OR Kill Your Darlings)
2:30:07
2:30:07
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2:30:07After a months of sequels and spin-offs, it's time for a wholly new addition to our Dark Universe, and it's even more different than anyone expected. On this episode, Dylan pitches a new take on the 1942 classic Cat People, a small-scale, low-budget, Sundance-style horror dramedy with minimal connections to the Dark Legion mythology. It's a very ro…
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The Gang is back and they are bummed. Listen, a lot of really bummer stuff has been brought to the surface and it really colored our viewing of this episode. We understand that some of you have a built in nostalgia for this series and maybe even this specific episode. This episode is our honest reactions during a time of exmination into children's …
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