Well, we're back. No one was asking for it, no one was missing us, but here we are anyways. In this pre-season episode, we give all our uneducated and unfounded bachelorette opinions. Low-quality content at its finest.

We've become quite pretentious in these recent months and decided to talk about life (and not the Bachelorette). Ah, how thoughtful we are!

Strap up folks cause this week your local neighborhood hero is clearing fences in a single bound! But beyond the jump we also discuss pressing matters like why Arie is the 2nd best bachelor, the worst Cassie of all time, and Courtney's inability to speak to Colton.

This week we educate you all on the dangers of multilevel marketing and the 3 proven steps to land on BinP (or even the Bachelorette)

Mystery. Murder. Mayhem. On a terrifyingly dramatic episode of the Bachelor we discuss all the potential comeuppance and Colton's terminal DBD.

Your resident Bachelor interpreters mourn a truly iconic contestant... and get a visit from a special rose-bearing guest.

On this week's unexciting episode of Colton's love journey we squeeze out as much content as we can to continue our never-ending quest of becoming a Bachelor-level content creator.

This week we go under the knife for a close-up on all the drama and learn a little bit about emotional intelligence with our resident psychologist Lauren Meadows #FreeNick

We begin our adventure as your substitute Chris Harrisons in a (semi) quick update on Colton’s 1st three episodes.