278 How to Heal and Find Hope After an Incarcerated Child’s Trauma

Your Hope-Filled Perspective with Dr. Michelle Bengtson podcast

Episode Summary:

In this episode, I chatted with Shonda Whitworth, who shared about her wounds, her pain, and now her sacred scars after walking through a most devastating experience when her son was incarcerated. What the enemy tried to use to quiet and shut Shonda down, God has now used to bring her into a greater aspect of her calling.

Quotables from the episode:

• When they said “Your son has been arrested for aggravated assault,” I went numb and didn’t know how to respond because the person they were describing on my phone was not the son I knew.
• I grabbed hold of Romans 8:28. At the time, that verse just felt overused to me, like a Bible verse Band-Aid. But I held my Bible and declared that this was God’s Word, and asked Him to make it real for me.
• This was one of the last things I ever expected to happen. I raised him in the way he should go, taught him the word, took him to Sunday School, and taught him about God. I didn’t expect him to depart from his upbringing and it just devastated me.
• I was hopeful things would turn around, but that’s not what happened. I was looking for a miracle ending.
• We take either the fight or flight response, and I took the flight response. I just wanted to hide in my cave. I didn’t want to be seen in social situations and wanted to hide from conversation about our children.
• The depression and anxiety were overwhelming. It knocked me down. I went dark for a while and retreated for a season.
• The enemy brings shame, guilt, regret, and fear.
• I felt like I was wearing a big “F” for mother of a felon. The depression and anxiety came from listening to all the lies about myself. I was operating with a double-mind.
• In prison, my son began experiencing freedom that doesn’t depend on a location. Scripture says, “where the spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom.” He began operating in freedom as he started growing in his relationship with the Lord.
• I thought, “Isn’t this ironic? Here I am living in the free world, but all these bars of fear, guilt, shame, condemnation were keeping me captive in my own home. But my son who is in prison is experiencing freedom!”
• The amazing thing is that when I did share about what I was experiencing, I got nothing but compassion, the opposite of what the enemy convinced me I would experience.
• It gets better as healing comes in layers.
• One thing that was so helpful in my journey was having a reason to get up every day.
• The more I share my story, the more I put myself out there, the more healing comes; the more I have courage, and the more my confidence builds.
• When we experience shame, we want to stay in the dark where no one can see us because with shame comes embarrassment. We fear “if others find out, what will they say? Will they reject me? Will they abandon me? Will they gossip about me?”
• But when we take what’s in the dark and bring it out into God’s healing light, rarely is it as bad as we think it’s going to be and it brings healing.
• My husband and I started a ministry to other families with family members incarcerated. By me opening up and sharing our story, it’s helping other people find hope, to find healing, and to encourage them not to give up on this side of eternity.
• Every life is valuable, and we can see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living. Even those who are in prison, their life is invaluable. Everyone has a purpose whether it’s inside prison walls or outside prison walls.
• The more I tell my story, the more it silences that accusing voice that comes against us from the enemy. When we open our mouths and testify what Jesus has done for us, the more it silences the enemy who accuses us.
• Jesus came to set the captives free and that includes you.
• Never give up. Always pray and never give up!
• Speaking out the Word of God gives us courage and hope and reminds us that everyone has a purpose and not to quit on your purpose.
• John 15:16 reminds us that Jesus has chosen us. You are chosen. You are not forsaken. You have a purpose. Don’t quit!
• We are all imperfect and in need of a Savior. The cross levels the playing field.

Scripture References:

• Romans 8:28 NKJV “And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose.”
• 2 Corinthians 3:17 “Where the spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom.”
• Luke 18:1 “One day Jesus told his disciples a story to show that they should always pray and never give up.” NLT
• Psalm 27:13 NIV “I remain confident of this: I will see the goodness of the LORD in the land of the living.”
• Revelations 12:11 NIV “They triumphed over him by the blood of the Lamb and by the word of their testimony.”
• John 15:16 NIV “You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you so that you might go and bear fruit—fruit that will last—and so that whatever you ask in my name the Father will give you.”

Recommended Resources:

• A free downloadable PDF of 8 Prayers to Pray for Your Incarcerated Loved One is available at FortressofHopeMinistries.com
• Appeal to the Courtroom of Heaven: Petitions for Prisoners and Prison Families by Shonda Whitworth
• Sacred Scars: Resting in God’s Promise That Your Past Is Not Wasted by Dr. Michelle Bengtson
• The Hem of His Garment: Reaching Out to God When Pain Overwhelms by Dr. Michelle Bengtson
• YouVersion 5-Day Devotional Reaching Out To God When Pain Overwhelms
• Today is Going to be a Good Day: 90 Promises to Start Your Day Off Right by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, winner of the AWSA 2023 Inspirational Gift Book of the Year Award, the Christian Literary Awards Reader’s Choice Award in four categories, and the Christian Literary Awards Henri Award for Devotionals
• YouVersion 7-Day Devotional, Today is Going to be a Good Day
• YouVersion 7-Day Devotional, Today is Going to be Another Good Day
• Breaking Anxiety’s Grip: How to Reclaim the Peace God Promises by Dr. Michelle Bengtson
• Breaking Anxiety’s Grip Free Study Guide
• Free 7-Day YouVersion Bible Reading Plan for Breaking Anxiety’s Grip
• Hope Prevails: Insights from a Doctor’s Personal Journey Through Depression by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, winner of the Christian Literary Award Reader’s Choice Award
• Hope Prevails Bible Study by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, winner of the Christian Literary Award Reader’s Choice Award
• Trusting God Through Cancer 1
• Trusting God Through Cancer 2
• Revive & Thrive Women's Conference
• Subdue Stress and Anxiety: Fifteen Experts Offer Comprehensive Tools in Ten Minutes a Day. Use my link plus discount code BENG99 to save $90 on course (course will be $99.)
• Free Download: How To Fight Fearful/Anxious Thoughts and Win

Social Media Links for Guest and Host:

Connect with Shonda Whitworth:

Shonda Website / Fortress Website / Shonda Facebook / Fortress Facebook / Shonda Twitter / Fortress Twitter / Shonda LinkedIn / Fortress LinkedIn

For more hope, stay connected with Dr. Bengtson at:

Order Book Breaking Anxiety’s Grip / Order Book Hope Prevails / Website / Blog / Facebook / Twitter (@DrMBengtson) / LinkedIn / Instagram / Pinterest / YouTube

Guest:

Shonda Whitworth’s expertise as an author span two decades, from articles to her most heart-wrenching book, Appeal to the Courtroom of Heaven: Petitions for Prisoners and Prison Families. She is a writing and self-publishing coach who nurtures authors visions from manuscript to the marketplace. Discover more at ShondaWhitworth.me.

Hosted By: Dr. Michelle Bengtson Audio Technical Support: Bryce Bengtson