Deep Dive into Attachment Theory with Braxton Dudley

A State of Mind

Julian and Braxton discuss Attachment Theory, what it is, some of the history and research behind it and how to work with and heal different attachment styles.

About Braxton:

Braxton Dudley, MA offers both counseling and contemplative coaching in Boulder Colorado. That focuses on somatic parts work, relationship and spiritual issues.

Learn more at:

https://www.spaciousheartcounseling.com/

Topics (in chronological order)

• Introduction, mindfulness, the primacy of consciousness
• Attachment theory: how we show up in relationships as well as our pursuit of life
• We are most likely to have the same attachment styles as our care givers
• How the dismissive attachment style shuts down their own relational needs
• How our early childhood relationships with our primary caregivers impacts our relationships today
• Defining "Attachment Style"
• Studies show 75% chance that one will die with the same attachment style they developed by age 2
• 4 Attachment Styles: Secure, Avoidant, Anxious and Disorganized
• Primary caregivers only have to show up in an attuned way 30% of the time is enough to develop secure attachment
• Explaining the Anxious Attachment Styles, which is called Preoccupied in adults
• Anxious Style tends to be more insecure in their exploration
• Discussing the Dismissive(also called Avoidant) attachment style
• How Disorganized attachment styles tends to develop in response to neglectful or abusive care givers
• Different attachment styles can show up in different contexts
• Trans-generational trauma
• How healing Attachment involves implicit memory, not just from cognitive understanding
• The Strange experiments and the work of John Bowlby and Mary Ainsworth
• How Anxious attachment style in the child comes about in part from a lack of reliability in care givers.
• How all the different attachment styles are evolutionarily intelligent adaptation strategies that are actually the best response to particular dysfunctional environments.
• How the attachment styles one develops from 0-2 years old often becomes the same attachment style one has in the context of intimate relationship as an adult.
• How our largely unconscious internal working models
• How the development of meta cognition can lead to healing our attachment patterns.
• That many with dismissive attachment styles get into meditation and intense spiritual pursuits
• Just because someone is a Spiritual Teacher does not mean they have healthy relationships
• And how that often comes from a lack of awareness or respect of the relational needs of others
• The Qualities of Secure Attachment
• Strategies for healing insecure attachment styles
• The role of self regulation for helping Pre-Occupied
• The importance of the Dismissive attachment styles to work on receiving and letting in intimacy and love

Terminology:

• Secure (both child and adult)
• Anxious-ambivalent (for children) is called Preoccupied (adult)
• Avoidant (child) is called Dismissive (for adults)
• Disorganized in both child and adult (sometimes referred to as fearful-avoidant or fearful-preoccupied)

Resources:

• https://a.co/d/6kVVwPb
• https://insig.ht/aLmAh4HKIrb

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