We suffer through and report back on the worst and weirdest documentaries you can stream.
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Keep It Clean: Vintage Hygiene Films
32:26
32:26
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32:26
Dirty fingernails abound as we journey back to the 50s, a simpler time when people were still figuring out basic grooming. How do you use a toothbrush? Look, it’s complicated. Thrill as we gasp out loud at the extreme levels of sexism in what is secretly a sock fetish film! Chill as we feel uncomfortable when the teens who were cast to play sibling…
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Ah, 2016. It was a simpler time when Americans had nothing to fear but killer clowns. And that, according to this documentary, is all thanks to Wrinkles the Clown. He’s a 65-year-old Florida man, an internet star gone viral, and a questionable tool parents can use to discipline their children. When the documentary unmasks its monster like a clumsy …
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Meet Jackie Siegel. Jackie’s a former IBM engineer, a former Mrs. Florida, and she might be on her way to being a former Mrs. Siegel if her husband makes good on his threats to trade her in for multiple 20-year-olds. Speaking of her husband, meet David Siegel. David is a self-made billionaire with a thing for pageant girls and cheap bank loans that…
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Meet Jeremiah, a self-styled auteur with a love for filmmaking but a seeming aversion to editing. Together with Troy, a paranormal investigator who is afraid of the dark, and his girlfriend Ashley, a woman who is nothing less or more than whelmed by the experience, the three hapless investigators will explore the second-most haunted house in Texas.…
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The World's Largest Ball of Twine
34:31
34:31
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34:31
On this episode, we watch one of the most un-creatively named documentaries we’ve ever watched for this podcast. You know what? Screw it. Cue the orchestra. TWINE WARS Turmoil has engulfed the world of TWINE BALL rollers. For a generation, Francis and Frank, two twine ball rollers of noble ambition, have battled for the distinction of creating THE …
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Four unlucky-in-love men have given up on American women and traveled half-way across the globe to Ukraine. Led by John (not just the president, but also a client), and Bob (tour director of the damned), they’ll attend a dance club that might actually be a Ukrainian baby shower, have a run in with a loan shark and corrupt law enforcement, introduce…
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In times like these, we could all use the comfort of a warm hairy embrace. It's time for another service at the Church of Bigfoot! When a young girl named Kiana sees a bear in the woods, it will inspire her to take the name “Bigfoot Girl” and launch her on a lifelong quest for a close encounter of the hairy kind. We were hoping for a documentary th…
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Cane Toads: An Unnatural History
33:57
33:57
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33:57
Toads gone wild! It’s the 1930s and sugar is booming, particularly in North Queensland, Australia. But the farmers there have a problem: grubs are eating their crops. The Bureau of Sugar Experiment Stations, desperate to get the farmers off their backs, attend the World Conference of Sugar Technologists in Puerto Rico and get the brilliant idea to …
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Meet John. And Matt. And Harper. And Nate. And another John. And Grey. And Dan. And Tyler. And Patrick. And another John. And…. Okay, let’s try this again. Meet Chris. He owns a parking lot, and in this movie we’re going to meet about twenty of his past and current parking lot attendants. From one cynical white male wannabe philosopher to the next …
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When three very literal, very Catholic, very Canadian sisters decide getting sugar daddies might be their shortcut to financial success, what could go wrong? They’ll entice guys with photos of their pets, go on dates for free because they don’t know how to ask for money, and then sell themselves short by pointing out how the exchange rate means the…
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In Search Of ... Animal ESP and Empathetic Yogurt with Leonard Nimoy
28:21
28:21
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28:21
Meet Leonard. He’s an actor whose popular TV show has been cancelled and the movie revival of that show has yet to begin. You might say he’s In Search Of … employment. What he finds is the opportunity to make 150 episodes of a show devoted to the exploration of unsolved mysteries and things that defy explanation. Things like “psy trailing” where a …
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Meet Shauna and Josh. First came love, then came marriage, then came the BS-filled documentary about their extraterrestrial, transdimensional, paranormal experiences. Valentine’s Day is approaching and love is in the air. So are stars, satellites, and streetlights, but for the purposes of this documentary, let’s call all of those things “UFOs.” Wha…
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Okie Noodling (Hand Fishing for Catfish in Oklahoma)
27:38
27:38
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27:38
Meet Bradley. As a boy, his cousins from Oklahoma showed him the scars on their arms from fishing for catfish barehanded. In other words, they were Okie Noodlers. Fast forward many years and adult Bradley decides to revisit this fishing subculture. When he finally finds some people willing to fess up to this behavior, he’ll go on a journey that ult…
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The Bigamist Bride: My Five Husbands
30:11
30:11
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30:11
Meet Emily. Her hair is short, but her list of husbands is long. When a slow news day in the UK leads to the creation of a documentary The Guardian, The Daily Mail, and the Daily Telegraph all rave as the best thing ever, Jaime and Dave have no choice but to check this out for themselves and discover firsthand that the British media is wrong. So. V…
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Meet Samantha. She’s a 40-something animal trainer determined to take her cats on the road and catch her big break, even if it costs her hundreds of thousands of dollars to get there. According to her assistant Lynsi, a neat thing about Samantha is that she doesn’t think things all the way through, but then again, Lynsi also thought she was having …
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Grumpy Old Men at Christmas UK
31:37
31:37
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31:37
Tis the season to be grumpy, at least according to a bunch of middle-aged British men and, for some reason, Elliott Gould. From Arthur, who hates that Christmas happens every 365 days, to John, who hates that Margaret Thatcher didn’t hand-sign her Christmas cards, to the narrator, who hates Christmas cards and possibly his wife, we’re working throu…
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Meet Kurt and Russ, two middle-aged stone skippers jockeying for the Guinness World Record for most skips. Kurt has a good heart, but we still have some questions about that hole he’s digging in his yard, and he’s definitely not making it out of Willy Wonka’s Chocolate Factory in one piece. There’s also Max, the young stone skipping upstart, and hi…
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Oh My God! It's Harrod Blank!
35:16
35:16
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35:16
Meet Harrod Blank. He’s a tall, attractive young man with a good head of hair, and within five minutes of knowing him you probably won’t be surprised to learn that as a child he spent more time with chickens than with people. Harrod’s devoted his life to making and celebrating art cars, which is all fine and good, but what this documentary unintent…
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Someone has taken their love of monkeys too far! Halloween might be over, but on this episode we find ourselves stuck in what feels like a carnival funhouse filled with people who insist their monkeys are their literal children. Join us as we travel across some of our least favorite flyover states to meet Silly Willy, Butters, and Jessica Marie (al…
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The Pantry Ghost Documentary
33:12
33:12
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33:12
It’s the spookiest time of the year and only one documentary could make us wonder, “Is that a smudge on my iPad or a ghost in that guy’s kitchen?” Meet Mabel, a ghost so non-descript we’re surprised she even has a name. She is mysteriously the same height and build as the daughter of the guy whose house she’s haunting. We also think her dad might b…
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Kelly is a no-budget horror film director who often casts his movies from Craig’s List and whoever happens to be on set. He’s just wrapped on The Mephisto Box, a film featuring telekinesis, astral travel, flying daggers, and a woman in a wheelchair restoring her legs through the power of Satan. But his film is missing something! It needs more produ…
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Meet Troy. He’s a “Pain don’t hurt” sorta fella with a mullet, a raspberry beret, and a giant 150-pound suit designed to withstand an encounter with a grizzly bear. When a younger Troy stares down a grizzly bear and lives to tell the very lengthy tale, it launches him on a lifelong journey to once again face the beast, but this time without leaving…
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Natural History of the Chicken
47:24
47:24
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47:24
Let's just get this out of the way: The title of this documentary is a bald-faced lie. Yes, we've got chicken near-death experiences and mouth-to-beak CPR. Yes, we've got a woman appearing to skinny dip with a rooster, giving him a blow-dry, and then loading him into her boxy 70s car to go solve crimes. We've certainly got a headless chicken gettin…
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Meet Joe, a special effects artist "tricked" by his "friends" -- a "pedophile" and an "adulterer" -- into going on a "reality" TV show. Okay, all the quotations are going to get tiring, but just assume that pretty much EVERYTHING you hear from Joe should be in air quotes. From flailing four-mile runs and frantic phone calls to verbally harassing a …
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California 90420 (The Musical?)
39:56
39:56
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39:56
It’s 2010 and Proposition 19 could fully legalize marijuana in California. There are intelligent arguments on both sides of the issue. There are serious debates. But right now it’s time for a dubstep break. And another dubstep break. And some rapping. And then more dubstep. And then hippy educational songs about weed. And then more dubstep. This is…
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Meet Frankie and Browser, two cats who have nothing to do with each other. Their only connection appears to be that their owners both use Facebook. What a small world! This might be the first time a movie has ever been padded out by shoehorning in a cat from Minnesota, and then to top it all off, they didn't even think to title this trainwreck, "A …
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Meet Gracie Rae. She's a psychic, an actor (not that the two have ANYTHING AT ALL to do with each other), and the subject of her very own documentary. Thrill as Gracie Rae goes out on a limb and guesses that a woman has body image issues. Be astonished to learn a person remembers the name of her grandmother. Be disturbed as Gracie Rae bases a signi…
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