S3 E4: Breaking the Silence: A Candid Conversation about Male Survivors of Sexual Abuse With Callen Harty

Unspoken: Conversations with Candace

In this powerful and deeply emotional episode, Candace and Co-host Neil Parekh talk with Callen Harty who shares his emotional journey as a survivor of child sex abuse. Callen discusses his upbringing in a small town in Wisconsin and the traumatic experiences he had with his older brother from the age of 10 to 18. He reveals the impact that the abuse had on him and how it impacted his life until he found the courage to come out with his truth. Callen's autobiographical play, "Invisible Boy," premiered in 2010 and became a powerful platform for him to advocate on behalf of other male survivors of sexual abuse. His memoir, "The Empty Playground: A Survivor's Story," provides a further glimpse into his recovery process. They also talk about the themes and messages of the play and the importance of raising awareness about the issue of sexual abuse.

Callen talks about his self-discovery process after he came out with his story of being abused and how it affected his sexuality. Callen explains that many male survivors, both gay and straight, have had to deal with the self-blame that comes with the abuse. He shares how he managed to forgive himself and his mother while also addressing the ripple effects of abuse on families and relationships. The conversation touches on how to have better conversations about sex education with families or publicly given the importance it has on children's lives, physical and mental health. This deeply moving conversation highlights the importance of being open and honest about sexual abuse and the importance of providing support and resources to survivors.

Episode Highlights:

21:07 - One of the things that I learned in my coming out about this abuse was that I am not gay because I was abused and I was not abused because I'm gay. But a lot of people, as male survivors who are straight, question, what does this mean? Does this make me gay? What's going on? So there's always a self-blame that comes along with that. I think that's a, if not 100%, pretty universal feeling with survivors.

33:20 - I think one of the really difficult things for male survivors in particular is that your body reacts and things can actually feel physically good even when they're emotionally not good. And so that helps lead to that kind of shame and blame, like, oh, I must be responsible because my body reacted and because those physical sensations felt good, even though I feel awful. And it's a very hard thing that dichotomy to sort of balance and understand that male bodies will react even in negative circumstances like that.

45:16 - I am most grateful that I have always been a survivor, and I'm grateful for the people in my life who have allowed me to survive or helped me to survive, and that's a lot of them.
Connect with Callen Harty

Callen Harty
Connect with Neil

LinkedIn

Connect with Digimentors

Website