It's Complicated: The Toxic Assumptions of Self-Help Guru's vs. Actionable Strategies

The Self Help Antidote

Discipline matters. More specifically self-regulation. The more time that goes by in our lives, the greater the benefits exercising self-regulation. Conversely, the greater the consequences in our lives if we don’t.

What doesn’t benefit us, however, are the generalized, overly simplified assumptions about why we do what we do. Yet, we hear them so much, with such certainty, many people feel obliged to accept these assumptions as fact. Maybe in some cases these assumptions are true. The bigger question however is, are they helpful? Imagine if a swim instructor rather than teaching his new beginner client the proper technique for staying afloat and the basic mechanics of swimming, simply admonished the client to work harder? As that student started to sink, the teacher chastised him for his laziness, explaining that if he really wanted to stay afloat he would. That client would probably find a new teacher, if he survived the session.

Consider this, the greater an individual’s expertise, the greater distinctions that individual has. Accordingly, the more that individual is aware of not only what she doesn’t know, but how much there is to be known.
Often, those with less expertise and the least ability, have the most certainty. These people don’t possess enough expertise to know what they don’t know. As a result they have simple explanations for complex situations.

Neuro-endocrinologist and Professor of Neurology and Neurological Sciences at Stamford University, Robert Sapolsky says regarding human behavior is that “it’s complicated”. He goes on to say that “and you better be really careful, real cautious, before you conclude you know what causes a behavior. Especially if it’s a behavior you’re judging harshly.”

This episode I discuss why human behavior may not be as straightforward as we would like to think. If you feel overwhelmed and frustrated by how self-help guru’s judge your behaviors harshly, assuming to know your intentions, or if you have judged your own behaviors harshly and it has left you feeling stuck, this episode is for you.

There are many variables that play into human behavior. When we struggle, what we might need most are strategies, not indictments.
Resources mentioned in this episode:
1. The Mind, Body, Brain Project - Paul Taylor
2. https://youtu.be/ORthzIOEf30 - Robert Sapolsky
3. The Marshmallow Test - Walter Mischel

Visit us at:
www.theselfhelpantidote.com