432: How To Remember People

THE Leadership Japan Series by Dale Carnegie Training Tokyo Japan

How To Remember People’s Names at Networking and Business Events

Are you good at remembering the names of people you meet? Are you having that embarrassing situation where you know the face, but the name isn’t coming to you? How about that even worse situation where you have to introduce the person you cannot remember, to someone else? We usually need the help of others in some form to achieve our visions. This can be people we already know or new acquaintances, for example, at a networking or business event.

But do you sometimes have this problem? I meet so many people, I can’t remember them when I meet them again, or I meet people and two minutes later I’ve forgotten their name already.

How do you feel when you meet someone again, who remembers your name, but you can’t remember their name? It’s awkward, embarrassing, and destroys my personal brand.

What can we do about this problem? We want to be memorable to the people we meet in business, so we need to make sure they clearly hear our name in the first place.

Make a bigger effort and help them remember your name by using the Pause, Part, Punch formula when meeting people.

Before you say your name – PAUSE

E.g Hello, My name is…(pause)…..

When you say your first name insert a PART to separate first name from last name

E.g. Hello, My Name is…(pause)..John …(part)…Smith

When you get to your last name hit it slightly harder than your first name to make it easy to remember – PUNCH it out.

Hello, My Name is…(pause)..John …(part)…SMITH (punch the last name hard)

To make sure you remember their name, use LIRA:

Look & Listen-we concentrate on the person completely, observing them for recognition hints about how they look or sound

Impression-we stereotype them into an easy to remember category based on how they look, sound and speak. For example, Mr. Tall Suzuki with the Heavy Glass Rims

Repetition-We look for opportunities to use their name in the conversation without it becoming extreme or strange. For example, “tell me Suzuki san, how have you found….” Especially toward the end of the conversation we want to cement the name before we part company. “Thank you Suzuki san for letting me learn more about your industry today and I look forward to catching up again”

Association-We try to link them to something else which is easy to remember. Suzuki san with the heavy black glass rims is the Japanese version of Clark Kent, who turns into Superman. Suzuki is the Japanese Superman in disguise.

We use PACE to create more memorable pictures:

Person-we create a mental picture of them like a movie poster with their name on it.

Action-we imagine them doing some action that is linked to their name. If the name was Asakawa, we could picture a fast running stream

Colour-We look for a colour we can associate with the name. Mr. Black, Mr. White.

Exaggeration- we create some fantastical scene in our mind which is way over the top. Suzuki san with the black rimed glasses is a secret superman like Clark Kent and wears a red cape, flying around Otemachi between the buildings trailing a big sign that says SUZUKI.

Use BRAMMS for name association:

Business - can we link the name to the business they are in? Tokoro san is in the real estate business

Rhyme - can we get the name to rhyme with something we can remember? Everyone with a perfectly straight back or senaka is named Tanaka

Appearance - Onaka san has a large belly

Meaning - Takai san is rather tall, Minami san works in the south of the city

Mind Picture - I can visualize Abe san as Abe Lincoln with the beard and a tall hat.

Similar Name - Kawai san is cute, kawaii

This sounds complicated and I can’t remember all the acronyms!

No problem! Don’t try to do everything at once. This week, pick one or two things to concentrate on and use those to recall the names – some things will work better than others for you, but experiment and find which works best.

At the next networking or business event, try it and give yourself a score on how many new people’s names you were able to remember.