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Episode 187: 13 - CONSENT - the HARDER SHAFT podcast - Joey Busuttil & Lisa Torney
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On the Thirtenth episode of the HARDER SHAFT podcast we discuss CONSENT with co host Lisa Torney.
Sexual consent is when you and your sexual partner both agree to have sex. It is important to ask for consent before engaging in sexual activity.
In a healthy sexual encounter, both parties should feel comfortable communicating their needs without feeling fearful or coerced. If #MeToo has taught us anything, it is that we need to start having open and clear conversations around consent.
Giving consent is when you clearly agree to take part in any sexual activity.
If someone seems unsure, stays silent, doesn’t respond, or says ‘maybe’ this isn’t consent. Having sex without consent is wrong and illegal.
You always have the right to say no to any form of sexual activity. And you can agree to do something then change your mind – everyone has the right to do this, even if you are in a long-term relationship or married.
Giving and getting consent may feel awkward. But being able to share what you feel comfortable with will make the experience of sex more enjoyable.
Many girls grow up being told that saying “no” to men is wrong. This can make it really difficult to say no to sexual activities, even if you want to.
But remember, everyone has the right to say no to any form of sexual activity. It doesn’t matter who the other person is, whether it’s your first time with them, you’re married or in a long-term relationship, or what you’ve done with them or others before.
Giving consent for one type of sexual activity doesn’t mean you’re giving consent to go further. Agreeing to kiss someone doesn’t mean you’ve said yes to them taking your clothes off, for example.
They may say it in other ways, like “not right now”, “I’m not sure”, or they might stay silent. Their body language might also be a signal – they may turn away, curl up, or not respond.
Sometimes our bodies will be turned on but we don’t want to be touched. But even if a penis is erect or the vagina is wet – it’s not an automatic invitation. That’s why it’s always important to check.
They may say it in other ways, like “not right now”, “I’m not sure”, or they might stay silent. Their body language might also be a signal – they may turn away, curl up, or not respond.
Sometimes our bodies will be turned on but we don’t want to be touched. But even if a penis is erect or the vagina is wet – it’s not an automatic invitation. That’s why it’s always important to check.
LISA TORNEY:
0424 264 288
Sexual or relationship concerns can be difficult to talk about and may negatively impact on our emotional well-being. Intimate problems often do not get better on their own and sex and relationship therapy can assist you to achieve the healthy, happy sex life you’re deserve.
I have a strong commitment to working with people to improve their sexual and interpersonal relationship, help people explore ways to have more pleasurable experiences and a special interest in supporting the LGBTIQA+ community.
I have over 20 years counselling experience as a social worker prior to pursuing my Master's degree in Sexual Health Counselling at Sydney University. I have counselled people over many years in a variety of settings and have extensive experience in sexual health counselling and working with individuals, couples and people in polyamorous and open relationships. I am an Accredited Mental Health Social Worker able to offer Medicare rebates, an Accredited Clinical Psychosexual Therapist and the Immediate Past National Chairperson of the Society of Australian Sexologists Ltd . I am committed to maintaining professional ethics and standards within the field of sexology and sexual health.
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JOE BUSUTTIL
MENS COACH/ COUNSELLOR
thesecretmensbusiness@gmail.com
www.equator-hypnotherapymelbourne.com
INSTAGRAM:
@the_shaft_experience
FACEBOOK:
THE SHAFT EXPERIENCE-MENS SEXUAL HEALTH
www.facebook.com/groups/secretmensbusiness01/
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