Ep 150: The Finale + 3 Non-Negotiables for Cultivating More Enoughness

The Enoughness Revolution: Life, Work, + Love

It's here, you guys! The finale episode of The Enoughness Revolution and I'm ready. The past two weeks have been somewhat of a whirlwind while I've been processing the end of this chapter and the beginning of the next. There's been grief and excitement, anticipation and anxiety, and whole host of other emotions happening as several life events have lined up around the same time. As if life, right? I had no idea I'd be celebrating my first year of motherhood while getting ready to birth a new podcast baby into the world just a few weeks later, but cycles line up like that sometimes. We celebrate one milestone of achievement while starting new quests that have no milestones yet.

In this way, maybe we're always beginners at something and I think thats a good thing. To always be evolving and growing and shifting and stretching. I could take this episode's air time to talk all about Wild and Holy Radio and how great it's going to be and why you should absolutely, positively make sure you're a part of the Launch Team (which you totally should and you can join right here!), but I'd rather take this time to share 3 Non-Negotiables for Cultivating Enoughness.

I've gained so much wisdom from hosting this conversation for the past two years, so much so, I should probably write a book, which I'm sure my book coach Amy Brooks is over there like "duh"!!! I'm getting to the book writing, Amy, I promise! But truly, reflecting back on all the stories I've heard, journeys I've walked, work I've done personally and with clients - there's been a lot gained on what it means to cultivate that feeling of being enough.

And let's be real... underneath it all, this is what we crave most. To know that we're enough on a cognitive level, an emotional level, on a physical level, on a spiritual level. In fact, the fear that we're not enough is the biggest deterrent for us being who we know we're capable of being and pursuing the things that our soul really wants, but will require us to be brave.

Enoughness is the foundation for so many other things. There's this quote by Brené Brown that I go back to over and over again and it goes... "The most dangerous stories we make up are the narratives that diminish our inherent worthiness. We must reclaim the truth about our lovability, divinity, and creativity/ability."

Woah! I did a whole email series last year teasing these three concepts apart and what these really look like in action when we doubt ourselves in any of these areas. I went even further into how we actually reclaim these pieces for ourselves.

Why? Because when we talk about enoughness, we're talking about worthiness and the places where we doubt ourselves the most are here. We wonder if we're truly lovable, especially if we've had a history of broken relationships, relationship issues, or haven't yet found "the one".

We wonder if we're worthy of divine intervention if we haven't lived up to the dogma or rules some other person or group of persons have announced/proclaimed is the way you achieve your goodness.

And we surely wonder if we're capable and creative and unique and have something worthy of offering the world. Just ask any entrepreneur as they're launching something new into the world.

All of these come back to believing you're enough, yet there's a distance difference between knowing something on an intellectual level and knowing it on a spiritual level and knowing something spiritually will always trump what you rationalize or justify or reason away in your head. Fear lives in the head. Truth lives in the heart, which is why doing the spiritual work of healing your stories is so paramount to creating a new baseline of enoughness, confidence, courage, and conviction, which brings me to my first non-negotiable.

1. Cultivating Enoughness means rewriting the story on what it means to be enough.

In every single conversation I've had from all of the guests who've been on The Enoughness Revolution and in every single client I've worked with on the topic of enoughness and even in my own personal work on healing my own beliefs of unworthiness and brokenness, cultivating more enoughness has required a rewriting of the story.

Brené talks about this a lot, which is probably why I resonate so deeply with her work and why I admire Glennon Doyle (no Melton now since she's remarried! Congrats G and Abby <3) and Danielle LaPorte and Elizabeth Gilbert and all the other women I look up to who have rumbled with the story of who they thought they needed to be in order to be enough and chose to rewrite the story on their own terms claiming the inherent worthiness they've always had, but never allowed themselves to have.

Enoughness is something that is far too often dictated outside of ourselves. Society tells us what it means to be a good woman, a good mother, a good daughter, a good friend, a good person and so on and so on. Add the layer of religion to the mix and you also have stories of what it means to be a good Christian, a good Muslim, a good Buddhist, a good Jew. We are inundated with ideals and expectations outside of ourselves that tell us who we need to be in order to be enough. And if we aren't getting it there, we're surely getting it from our parents no matter how good their intentions are because enoughness is built on values.

If you never take the time to discern if the values you've been living by are truly important to you, you'll never have your own personal definition of enoughness and without a personal definition, that means you're living on autopilot subscribed to someone else's.

It's been my personal experience that as long as we're subscribed to someone else's viewpoint, we never measure or we die trying. There's not a lot of freedom in that, but there sure are a whole lot of should's. And that's what I find over and over again in this work and in these conversations. At some point, each of these people had to take a good hard look at the shoulds they were following and make a choice to either agree and hold that value or dismiss it, reject it, and hold up a value that felt more true for them instead.

2. Choosing yourself will always be the way to cultivating more enoughness.

I was talking to a client this week as she was deep in the trenches of "not enough". She felt stuck and unsure of herself as we often do when we're listening to that inner critic and it only felt heavier because this person feels called to be doing something more with her life, which is requiring her to stretch and believe in herself in spite of the feelings of "not enough".

I shared two pieces of advice with her that I think are paramount -

1. I say this all the time to pretty much every single one of my clients: "Just because you think it and just because you feel it, doesn't make it true." When you've been letting that inner critic rule your world, you can't trust what this voice tells you. You can't trust the way it feels because it's operating out of this place of deep insecurity. Insecurity is never our truth so to take that as an absolute fact that because I think this or because I feel this, it must be true takes our opportunity away to challenge that voice and lean into our real truth instead, which is - we are enough, we are capable, we are worthy, we do have something worthwhile to offer the world.

It is so, so crucial to challenge that voice, to second-guess it. This is always the first step to rewriting a story - to re-examine.

2. We can't think our way into enoughness. We have to walk our way into it.

My goodness, if we could simply wait until we felt enough before we took action, that would be amazing, but that's not how enoughness works. Enoughness builds and grows through courageous action of choosing ourselves even if we don't feel worthy of choosing.

We have to go off of a "maybe". Maybe I will be okay. Maybe I will be successful. Maybe I am lovable. Maybe I do deserve more. Maybe God does love me. Maybe I am forgivable. Maybe I am good. The list goes on and on. Choosing yourself on a maybe is such a great place to start when that inner critic's voice feels so loud and powerful.

Maybe is that thing that lets a little light in that maybe things can be different. Maybe things aren't exactly like you think. Maybe there are other possibilities. Ahhhh!! Maybe is an opening! Maybe is the birthplace of opportunity.

But what do I mean by choosing yourself? What I mean is that you have to choose to honor yourself, your needs, your feelings, and desires. In every single conversation I've had and with every single bit of work I've done with my clients, it all comes back to choosing yourself over and over again.

This sometimes means leaving relationships because someone else isn't willing to change or meet you half way. This sometimes means leaving a job that you spent a great deal of time preparing for. This may mean pursuing work that others don't agree with. This may mean choosing a partner that your parents don't approve of because you know more of what you need than they do.

Choosing yourself is hard, especially in a culture where we're given mixed messages of "be who you are", but "don't be that". Or "you can be anything you want to be", but don't pursue that dream. That's too risky.

Choosing yourself takes courage, but when we're talking about enoughness, we have to choose our values, our beliefs, our dreams, our way of doing things. Otherwise, we feel like we're still trying to measure up to someone else's rule book and a little part of us dies every time we choose someone else over our soul.

3. Trust your inner voice.

I'm going to contradict myself for a second, but I think this is important. I just told you to second guess yourself, didn't I? Yet I was referring to second-guessing your inner critic, not your inner compass and there is SUCH a big difference.

Learning to trust our inner voice, our intuition, our inner knowing is the one thing I've heard over and over and over again when it comes to cultivating enoughness. Why? Because when we trust our inner voice, what we're really doing is trusting ourselves. And what trusting ourselves does for us is allows us to build confidence, one, but be able to rely on ourselves - trust in our capability, which builds resilience.

Why would resilience be so important to enoughness? Because there are going to be hundreds of times in your life when you feel like you've failed and haven't measured up. There are going to be plenty of times you second guess your lovability, divinity, and creativity.

Knowing your truth, trusting it, and knowing how to find your way back to that time and time again when you get knocked down.... that's the journey of enoughness. And there is so much resiliency available to us when we can build mastery here.

I shared on Monday's episode that I used to think the goal with enoughness was to eradicate the feelings of "not enough". But that's not the truth. The truth is to know how to find our way home, home to our truth, home to our worthiness, home to our enoughness.

The better we can get at walking this path back home, the stronger and more resilient we become, but something else starts to happen too. The more we trust ourselves, the more weight we give to our own ideas and own inner knowing, the more we respect ourselves. And if you tuned into my most recent masterclass on Four Higher Level Needs Every Conscious Couple Craves to Feel Seen, Heard, Supported, and Loved, you know I talked about the three pillars of healthy love being trust, respect, and intimacy.

Love, true love, healthy love requires trust and respect for it to grow and for it to thrive and this doesn't just go for our relationships with others, it most definitely applies to our relationship with ourselves.

Enoughness is so deeply tied to our ability to love ourselves, but for us to get there, we have to trust in our worthiness and building trust with ourselves means trusting our inner voice even when the noise from the outside world is telling us otherwise.

Trusting our own inner compass, being willing to sit in the depths listening to the voice of our soul and the Divine, trusting the knowing that comes to us and even being able to recognize it when it arrives is such a big piece of living in integrity, deeply honoring yourself, and loving who you are by knowing you are worthwhile.

So much here, you guys! Maybe I will write the book. These concepts call to me. They beckon to me because I know so many of us struggle with them. But here's what I know from doing this work - by rewriting our stories, by choosing ourselves, by trusting our inner voice above all, we start to shift the baseline of our enoughness.

It doesn't mean we never experience the voices of "not enough". We always will. But what it does mean is there are areas of ourselves and our lives where we no longer doubt ourselves as much. In fact, we can get to a point where some areas no longer bother us at all. Now, new areas will probably pop up, but that's because you're growing and shifting as you integrate new wisdom and heal. Healing gives us the courage to stretch and stretching will often times bring up those feelings of "not enough". This is how it works.

To be a fully actualized human is experiencing the depth and breadth of life means we experience the pain and the rising, as Glennon says, the courage and the self-doubt, the healing and the places that still hurt.

Our lives are build on paradoxes and dichotomies. This is what it means to be human. But the beauty of this is that we can feel "not enough" and still choose ourselves. We can feel "not enough" and still rewrite our stories. We can feel "not enough" and still trust our voice within.

The goal is to never get rid of the "not enough". The goal is to always find your way back home in spite of it and to not let that voice deter you from who you're capable of being, the life you're capable of creating, and the dreams you're capable of achieving.

I feel like I want to say AMEN! I mean, good Lord! This feels like gospel to me, the truths of what it means to be a messy human in a messy world trying to practice love the best we can. And that's what's at the heart of it all, guys.... love.

Love is truth. It always comes back to love.

So.... that's a wrap, y'all! The Enoughness Revolution has officially debuted its finale episode, but that doesn't mean we're done nor the Enoughness Revolution is going away.

These episodes will live on forever because I know there's so much value here. We've had so many powerful and wonderful and heart-aching and heart-soaring conversations over these past two years.

Please continue to refer your friends to the wisdom we've gathered here. They'll be forever available on Megan-Hale.com, on iTunes, and on Stitcher. And it would be my greatest honor to continue the evolution of this revolution on Wild and Holy Radio.

Please make sure you've joined me on the Launch Team because what we're going to build together is going to be something beautiful. I am so proud and so eager to dive even deeper into worthiness through a spiritual lens and create a space not just for spirituality, but for building healthy, thriving, supportive relationships, and expressing ourselves fully in the world by each doing our own Holy work.

Wild and Holy is going to be something magical and fierce and I really, really hope you'll be a part of that. We belong together!

Until July 31st, I'll miss you all dearly, will probably go crazy not having this outlet to share my passion and musings, and will be eagerly awaiting the debut of our new conversation with all new guests and an all new focus to free and soar the soul!

Love, love, love, love, love and more love, friends!

Talk soon <3 Bye!