Kai Werder on Skin Hunger During COVID-19 and Desire Discrepancies Between Partners

Sex Out Loud with Tristan Taormino

Sex educator and coach Kai Werder joins Tristan to talk about one of the crucial issues facing lots of people during COVID-19: skin hunger. We discuss how a lack of sexual and non-sexual touch on top of a pandemic affects our physical and mental health. Kai offers a thoughtful, nuanced perspective on dealing with touch deprivation and practical communication tools in the digital age. Then they talk about their theories of mismatched libidos and the Desire Discrepancy workbook they created to help folks struggling with one of the most common issues in relationships. Kai is a certified sex educator, coach, writer, and healing practitioner living on the occupied Chitimacha Tribal territory of New Orleans, LA. They believe in moving alongside clients and students as a guide towards healing through pleasure. Their work centers consent-based education that is shame-free, LGBTQ prioritized, and trauma-informed. You can find her published writing on sites like Allure, Teen Vogue, MTV, Kinkly, and GO Magazine. They are currently a candidate for Masters in Social Work at Tulane University and hope to use their degree to break down barriers of mental health services for queer and trans survivors.