MPF 302: A Parent’s Guide to Temperaments

Messy Family Podcast : Catholic Conversations on Marriage and Family

“You and your spouse are a team that GOD wants together!” - Art and LaraineBennett

Summary

The first step in creating a dynamic family is to know the people who are in it! That starts with knowing yourself, then your spouse, and then your children. One of the tools that we love using for this knowledge is the classic four temperaments - choleric, sanguine, melancholic, and phlegmatic. The leading Catholic authors on the temperaments are Art and Laraine Bennett, authors of the book The Temperament God Gave You and many other great resources! In this conversation we pepper them with questions about what the temperaments are, why knowing the temperaments are important, and how they can change your parenting. This podcast is FULL of great tips and resources of parents of any age. Listen in!

Key Takeaways

• Temperaments are only ONE aspect of our personality. Many things make each one of us unique.

• Temperaments are part of the wisdom of the ancients, but they also have been extensively studied in modern psychology

• Your temperament is the way you REACT. Knowing our temperament helps us to learn how to RESPOND to others in love.

• As a parent, knowing our children’s temperaments helps because we can teach them how to mature by focusing on their strengths and helping them process their weaknesses.

• When we react we will fly, fight, or freeze. Learning the “art of the pause” will help us respond in love and get out of “reaction mode”.

• You and your spouse can help each other by knowing your gifts and giving each other alternatives to handling difficult situations.

Couple Discussion Questions

• Take the quiz at https://temperamentquiz.com and link your account with your spouse.

• Observe your children this week. During a date night, talk about the temperament of each child and how you can encourage their strengths.

• What are our gifts as a couple? How can we better use them for the good of our children?