Manage episode 316050229 series 3003243
No matter how great of a job our parents did at raising us, most of us are carrying around a few childhood scars. The resentment we might feel toward our families is difficult to work through, difficult to admit even, and can be the cause of self-destructive behavior patterns and addictions. Today on the show we speak about growing up and the role that our parents, or parenting in general, plays in this process. We talk about some of the ways we were treated by our families and the persistence of these traumas in our daily lives. Our conversation is about how important it is to work through these memories and arrive at a place of mutual compassion and positive relationships with the people we grew up with. It is vital not to let these resentments affect our present selves, and we speak about the challenge of raising our own kids in a way that is not a defense against the negative memories we might have of the style used by our own parents. Ultimately, the process of working through childhood pain comes with its phases, and we talk about the need to set boundaries, practice compassion, and realize our own complicity in many of the situations that cause us discomfort. So, tune in for today’s archeological dig into the process of recovery and we hope it helps you in your path towards discovery and growth.
Key Points From This Episode:
- “Mistakes” our hosts made as kids and how they became part of their identity in the family.
- Remembering not to chide somebody who blundered because they are already feeling bad.
- “Corporate parenting” versus a more personalized approach and the difference between the two.
- The personal development that comes with reflecting critically on childhood.
- Perspectives on the idea that trauma is relative and that things affect people differently.
- The value of knowing your triggers and having a partner who can tell when you are overextending yourself.
- Realizing that we are not just victims but active participants in our circumstances.
- Our tendency to recreate the unprocessed pain that still resides in the subconscious.
- Remembering not to parent your kids in opposition to the way you were raised.
- Falling into old versions of yourself when with family and the value of setting better boundaries.
- The internal work of restoring relationships with family and the different phases of it.
- Trying different identities as we grow up and how Emily is seeing this in her daughter.
- How damaging judge-y mom culture is and how it makes you want to conform.
- Dealing with jealousy one might feel toward one’s kids in a positive way.
- Shifts in how society and parents view childhood trauma and mental health.
- Sarah’s memories of her granddad and how he was a model for emotional vulnerability.
- Emily’s experiences telling her dad she works through childhood trauma on this show.
- How growth is exponential if you are willing to put the effort in.
- The internal versus external environment and the role they play in personal growth.
- The role of a healthy body in the road to personal growth.
- Setting ourselves up for growth and the things that need to be gotten out of the way first.
- Emily and Sarah’s gratitude for their relationship and the support they give each other.
Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode: