Episode 61: Relationship Toxicity, Red Flags, Abuse, and the Impact of Not even Knowing it

Dare To Share Your Untold Story

Shelley brings forward a story where her first deep relationship transformed into marriage, and later a relationship so toxic that even she could not recognize its depth. After giving birth to each of her 3 children, she developed postpartum depression, which gradually shifted into situational depression. She describes how her third pregnancy was tough and the morning sickness she endured was around the clock, not to mention many other factors that she faced. Shelley shared that her husband at the time was absent from the marriage, not there to support her as he himself was overwhelmed with his career, leaving Shelley to feel helpless. She opened to speak about how abuse was never physical for her, rather deep subtleties, and overtime the person she was began to shrink and continued to become smaller. She was on the receiving end of manipulative comments, intimidation, blaming, being gaslit, and this only influenced Shelley to strive for more and more perfection, yet unable to attain perfection. She spoke about the many ways she was bullied and lectured through long emails, and later faced a period of financial abuse. Shelley expressed there were moments she felt scared, judged, inadequate, and she also began doubting herself. This idea of not being able to make a mistake haunted her and made her out to lack confidence in herself and her abilities, all which produced high levels of anxiety. Her key message to the listeners is that: get help, take the risk, your life can be free; photocopy all documents and information, and know where all your paperwork is kept; keep a separate account; prepare while you wait; the narcissist never changes, so make the necessary changes yourself.